03x05 - Schemer's Robot

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

funding for this program was provided in

part by the corporation for public

broadcasting and by the financial

support of viewers like you

reach for the speed

reach for the whistle

go where the rail may run

reach for the words reach for the story

follow the rainbow sun

to his shining time station

where dreams can come true

waiting there for you

welcome

to shining time station

no no no no that's that's not cheerful

enough

welcome to shining time station pride of

the indian valley

railroad that's better

welcome to shining time what are you

doing

i'm practicing for the new tourist train

you know planning a tour for so many

people is trickier than i thought

what's this

i pop in

as usual and next thing i know

i'm all tangled up in red licorice i

can't stand when this happens

oh it's schemer again mr conductor this

is his new tourist booth for all the

visitors we're expecting here today well

stacy what does schemer's mashed potato

mix have to do with shining time station

or this well i'm sad to say they have

nothing to do with shining time station

but schemer thinks he can sell them so

that's why they're here

which is a very sad story indeed and

that reminds me today's my day to sit in

the saab story booth on the island of

sodor and hear all the engine's problems

then i try to help them sort everything

out for the best

but isn't that kind of hard giving

advice i mean

giving advice isn't so hard matter of

fact advice is sort of like birthday

presents it's usually more fun to give

than it is to receive

all right step aside step aside assign

your steps aside your steps watch it now

something important is here

schemer we have to talk what is this

well miss jones if you really must know

it happens to be a a1 top-notch

top-of-the-line

robot

[Music]

come on come on wake up wake up people

don't you get it don't you get it this

robot's gonna do everything that i

normally do take care of the arcade take

care of the tourist corner polish my

nickels

basically uh do everything that i tell

it to do

go ahead say it schemer it's brilliant

schemer it's crazy everyone has to do

things for themselves whether it's

making a drawing or cleaning your room

or fixing your bike you are just jealous

that you didn't think of it first oh

yeah

girls

be prepared to have the eyeballs fall

out of your head

[Laughter]

hey whoa wild man wild man slow down hi

i'm schemer the supreme financer of

nickels and then monetary things you are

robot i command you speak

would you like to try i called

sausage

it goes great with our freshly baked

buns

hey listen this is an arcade pal not a

supermarket huh

well maybe you have to show it what to

do what do you want just be quiet for a

second i'm thinking

maybe what i need to do is just show it

what to do that's all all right uh robot

follow me

there you go all right

yeah now you're thinking now now you're

thinking whoa okay come to the point i

think i'm gonna call you roby the robot

hey you look good and great cal all

right over here there we go there you go

that's it look at me hey oh no over here

this way i'm over here hey hey

well there's a big old washing machine

out there and it wants to eat us oh

that's no washing machine what is the

matter with you dex oh sorry rex it's a

clothes dryer and it wants to eat us

[Applause]

i kind of like it

what

you're telling me you can dig such a big

scary weird thing

just because something's big and weird

looking doesn't mean we have to be

scared of it no it doesn't but let's be

scared anyway

you guys are a bunch of big babies

okay now time for some serious robot

type stuff robot i command you

sweep

yes supreme financier of nickels and

monetary things

you know not i mean the floor sweep the

fl the floor the stuff underneath those

things you call think me and give me

this thing like

nice this strokes like this

looks like schemer's having some trouble

with his robot

he says that there are some kinks to

work out

well that could be but it could also be

that schemer hasn't taken the time to

find out everything he needs to know

about his robot yeah but it sure would

be kind of neat to have one don't you

think

i mean a machine that could do

everything oh i don't know any machine

that can do everything you see machines

are good for some things but there are

other things only a human can do

after all even the engines on the island

of sodor need engineers and conductors

and when the engines forget that

things can get very confused let me show

you what i mean

[Applause]

henry and gordon were lonely when thomas

left the yard to run his branch line

they missed him very much

they had more work to do and had to

fetch their own coaches the big engines

thought they were too important to fetch

coaches

[Music]

james grumbled too we get no rest we get

no rest they all complain but the

coaches only laughed you're lazy and

slack you're lazy and slack they

answered

all together the engines were causing

sir topham hatt a great deal of trouble

[Music]

the big stations at both ends of the

line each have a turn table sir topham

hatt had made them so that the tender

engines can be turned round because it

is dangerous for them to go fast

backwards

[Music]

little tank engines like thomas don't

need turntables they can go just as well

backwards as forwards but to hear gordon

talk you would have thought that sir

topham hatt had given him a tender just

to show how important he was

[Music]

you don't understand little thomas we

tender engines have a position to keep

up it doesn't matter where you go but we

are important and for sir topham hatt to

make us do shunting fetch coaches and go

on some of those dirty sightings it's

it's well it's not the proper thing

thomas chuckled and went off with annie

and clarabel

disgraceful gordon hissed as he ran

backwards to the turntable

the turntable was in a windy place close

to the sea and if he was not on it just

right he put it out of balance and made

it difficult to turn

today gordon was in a bad temper and the

wind was blowing fiercely

his driver tried to make him stop in the

right place but gordon wasn't trying

the fireman tried to turn the handle but

gordon's weight in the strong wind

prevented him

it's no good they said at last your big

tender upsets the balance if you were a

little tank engine you'd be all right

now you'll have to pull the next train

backwards

look called some boys there's a new tank

engine

oh it's only gordon back to front

hello call thomas playing tank engines

sensible engine take my advice scrap

your tender and have a nice bunker

gordon said nothing

even james laughed when he saw him

take care his gordon you might stick to

no fear chuckle james i'm not so fat as

you i mustn't stick thought james

he stopped on just the right place to

balance the table it could now swing

easily

gordon arrived in time to see everything

james turned much too easily the wind

puffed him around like a top he couldn't

stop

[Music]

well well said gordon are you playing

roundabouts

poor james feeling quite giddy rolled

off to the shed without a word

[Music]

that night the three engines had an

indignation meeting

it's shameful to treat tender engines

like this gordon has to go backwards and

people think he's a tank engine james

spins around like a top and everyone

laughs at us

and to add to that sir topham hatt makes

us all shunt in dirty sightings

listen said gordon he whispered

something to the others we'll do it

tomorrow

sir topham hatt will look silly

the engines have decided to go on strike

[Music]

they went on strike you mean they

weren't going to work anymore

that was a sad story

and what happens next is even worse but

my tale of woe will have to wait for now

i must go on my sad sad date

there

all done and ready for some sob stories

so long and think of a good sob story

for me when i get back

[Music]

okay

now it is time to mop the floor i

command you mop the floor

hey hey hey hey no no not on me you're

drunk

look at what you're doing

what he's doing what are you having some

trouble with your robot

no no everything's as smooth as cake

cake try i'll taste your new cakes oil

too be quiet with the food stuff

it's just just a few bugs to iron out

bug spray

i'm special this week brian what the

somebody kills me

listen he's just a little unfocused

because of all the people that are all

over this place but once we get a lot of

people in here he's gonna zoom buzz

humming right along okay if you say so

schemer but it looks as if

your robot is attracted to the jukebox

don't be silly what could a jukebox have

to do with this nothing

okay well i hope you're right because i

don't want anything to go wrong in the

station today not with you or your robot

or that jukebox

what the heck is with you in this

jukebox huh what is it with you and

genius time

it is genius time

a light bulb and schemer's attic melting

the snow-capped peaks

of course you simply want to hear a song

and as we know music has charm to soothe

the savage robot that's uh billy

shakespeare all right here we go

there now

let's get to work huh

[Music]

while strolling through the park one day

[Music]

a smile with all she gave to me

of course we were as happy as could be

[Music]

i immediately raised my hand

finally she remarked

i never shall forget the afternoon i met

her at the mountain in the park

while strolling through the park one day

[Music]

a smile was all he gave to me

of course we were as happy as could be

i immediately raised my hat

she remarked

i never shall forget that lovely

afternoon

[Music]

what's wrong mr conductor oh it's the

sob stories i heard on the island of

sodor they were so sad it was wonderful

sad stories are wonderful of course as

long as there's a happy ending after all

everyone likes a good cry now and then

[Music]

it's a horrible albeit

[Music]

why is the robot putting all your

knuckles in the jukebox

because the

robot is falling in love

with the jukebox

oh you can't be serious

robot loves jukebox

robot

what am i gonna do everyone's coming

today with their nickels and they're

gonna bite my useless junkies

[Music]

i have an idea

later ladies

okay selection 489.

oh tito

we need a break are you kidding can't

keep playing but this is the best gig i

ever had since i was a tito in the box

hit it

i know that robbie's just a machine but

it is sort of like he is real feeling

and all schemer does is hurt his

feelings

that's right cara and it's sad when

someone hurts your feelings but it's an

even sadder story when you aren't

allowed to do what you do best

what do you mean mr conductor

well

i have a feeling that robbie isn't

supposed to work at an arcade i think

he's supposed to work in supermarkets

oh so that's why he's always talking

about food

it's easy as pie

the problem is schemer was so busy

trying to find an easy way to do things

that he never bothered to learn anything

about his robot

but what can we do

well i have a feeling that things will

work out somehow

after all didn't they work out on the

island of sodor once percy arrived they

did

but you didn't tell us yet

i didn't tell you about the day when

percy arrived in the yard

how sad

[Applause]

sir topham hatt sat in his office

listening to the noise outside the

passengers were angry

the station master came in there's

trouble in the shed sir henry is sulking

there's no train and the passengers are

saying this is a bad railway

indeed said sir topham hatt we cannot

allow that

he found gordon james and henry looking

very cross

come along henry it's time your train

was ready

henry's not going said gordon we won't

shunt like little tank engines that was

thomas's job we're important tender

engines you fetch our coaches and we

will pull them tender engines don't

shunt

we'll see about that said sir topham

hatt no engine on my railway is too

important for small jobs and he hurried

away to find edward

the yard has never been the same since

thomas left to run his branch line he

thought sadly

edward was shunting

leave those freight cars please edward

said sir topham hatt i want you to push

coaches for me in the yard

thank you sir that will be a nice change

that's a good engine off you go then

[Music]

so edward found coaches for the three

engines and that day the trains ran as

usual

but next morning edward looked unhappy

gordon came clanking past hissing rudely

bless me said sir topham hatt what a

noise

they all hissed me sir answered edward

they say tender engines don't shunt and

last night they said i have gray wheels

i haven't have i sir

no edward you have nice blue ones and

i'm proud of you tender engines do shunt

but all the same we do need another tank

engine here

he went to a workshop and they showed

him all sorts of engines

[Music]

at last he saw a smart little green

engine with four wheels

that's the one he thought if i choose

you will you work hard

oh sir yes sir

that's a good engine i'll call you percy

yes sir thank you sir and sir topham

hatt brought percy back to the yard

edward he called here's percy will you

show him everything

[Music]

percy soon learned what he had to do and

they had a happy afternoon

[Music]

then henry came by hissing as usual

went percy henry jumped and ran back to

the shed

[Music]

how beautifully you wished him laughed

everett

i can't wish like that

oh said percy that's nothing you should

hear them in the workshop you have to

wish loudly to make yourself heard

next morning thomas arrived sir topham

hatt sent for me i expect he wants help

he said to edward

here he comes replied edward well done

thomas you've been quick listen henry

gordon and james are sulking they say

they won't shunt like little tank

engines

so i have shut them up and i want you

both to run the line for a while

little tank engines indeed snorted

thomas we'll show them

and percy will help too

oh sir yes sir please sir answered percy

edward and thomas worked the main line

greeting each other as they passed by

percy puffed along the branch line

thomas was anxious about annie and

clarabel but both driver and conductor

promised to take care of them

[Music]

there were fewer trains but the

passengers didn't mind they knew that

three other engines were having a lesson

gordon james and henry were cold lonely

and miserable they wished now they

hadn't been so silly

[Music]

you know we usually learn something very

important from sad stories and speaking

of learning listen to what's happening

just outside the door

we're on the tour

stacey's giving your tour right now come

on let's go

[Music]

and so shining time station is really

about

all the beautiful artifacts that date

back from 1885 to the present the things

of beauty and age that represent the

very best of our past

thank you thank you are there any

questions yeah how about the robot

behind you what robot behind me would

you like to play some of our prickle

cavs

that was a great torso yeah well thank

you it was a pretty good tour until

schemer's robot showed up

schemer looks like your robot is a big

hit it is i mean

of course it is i knew it would be and

you were worried

what's that schemer uh this is a little

uh love interest from my friend the

robot oh schema i don't know scheme i

mean you were kidding me these two were

made for each other

good you can say it schemer you're

really cupid oh

okay robbie

time to fall in la ha ha i want souvenir

from this station

one souvenir from shining time station

thank you how much is that it is one

souvenir here is another one

attention shoppers today only everything

free may i help you i'd like a souvenir

too so many years

hey hey hey

hey hey what are you joking with what

are you kidding me you just don't give

stuff away you got to make people pay

for it hey get out of here

gee maybe we better help schemer

yeah we wouldn't want the robot or the

lawnmower to get hurt

[Music]

problem

jukebox will not play anymore hey that's

the way the cookie crumbles don't even

say it

[Music]

you know i'm getting the idea that

you're not much of a labor-saving device

what do you think of that i think more

nickels required

just give me one

nickel no it's not too much too it's not

like it's a whole job thank you

how many tito

we're counting we're counting you know

i've changed my mind about that robot

love sure is grand grand theft that is

[Applause]

well

cool dudes what's the word hiya barton

what can we do for you well stace i got

trouble with this game man

hey trouble with schemer hey barton why

don't you make like a tree and take a

hike schemer i had a chinwag with

someone down at my general store who

told me you have a junior assistant

who's muscling in on my racket he's

selling head cheese pork roast hey hey

hey selling what are you kidding me he

couldn't sell peanut butter what penguin

oh come on give me a break huh you gotta

be what what come on i brought you a

perfectly good lawnmower and you're

falling in love with martin winslow's

motorcycle

if i had half of mine i'd

genius time

uh hey uh barton old pal old trading

partner of mine how'd you like to make a

little

dealer rooney yeah well what kind of a d

rooney daddy-o well let's just say that

uh you get an assistant for absolutely

free and i get rid of an assistant for

absolutely free oh god now what would i

be doing with a robot who could only

work an arcade yeah but mr winslow

robbie doesn't work in arcades he was

supposed to work at supermarkets you

wouldn't be pulling barton's left limb

now would you

hey bro

what's the word

motorcycle rum rum

yeah well i could dig that

would you like to try some devil lardy

you can think that even more schemer you

got yourself a deal i'll take the tin

man off your hands come on metal man

let's moto affirmative i will be

vacating the premises

well schemer i hope you learned

something from all of this yeah never

order anything from the back of a comic

book again

is that all

never introduce a robot to a jukebox

schemer don't you understand you run

your arcade better than anyone else you

were doing just fine so why would you

let someone else do for you what you do

best by yourself

i don't know why would i

i mean

i don't know why would i

yeah why would i

why would i

why would i

yeah

yeah you machines you're all worthless

you uh jukebox you're worthless and

vacuum cleaner over there you're

worthless and you lawnmower you are

worthless worthless

worthless

[Music]

so

[Music]

reach for the speed

reach for the whistle

go where the rail may run

reach for the words reach for the story

follow the rainbow sun

to a shining tide station

where dreams can come true

waiting there for

[Music]

by your side

hopes to hold on to who knows how far

you'll go

to a shining time station

where dreams can come true

your own

imagination waiting there for you

funding for this program was provided in

part by the corporation for public

broadcasting and by the financial

support of viewers like you

[Music]

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