03x08 - Fortune Teller Schemer

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

funding for this program was provided in

part by the corporation for public

broadcasting and by the financial

support of viewers like you

reach for the speed

reach for the whistle go where the rail

may run

reach for the words

reach for the story

follow the rainbow sun

to a shining time station

where dreams can come true

[Music]

yes sir

uh may i have your attention please

i'm sorry to report but the trains still

aren't running what is the problem don't

tell me the trains can't run in a little

cold weather oh no the trains are fine

but this frost took us all by surprise

and some of the switches along the

tracks are frozen so what do we do wait

here a week until the weather warms up

oh no no as soon as the switches are

shifting properly then we'll be up and

running again in the meantime thank you

all for your patience

what do you say there he is

oh schemer you fortune telling genius

[Music]

i just love this man why if it hadn't

been for you and your miracle gizmo i'd

have lost my entire tomato crop

what miracle gizmo i'm talking about

your fortune-telling machine yesterday i

dropped by popped in a nickel to k*ll

time

and bingo

i got the nitty-gritty from the great

beyond a sudden change in the weather

takes steps to avoid disaster

which i did

not that i'm superstitious but i

skedaddled back to my farm covered my

tomatoes with burlap fired up the smoke

pots and

boom how boom

boom

comes the frost

tomatoes all over the valley are

freezing up but my little beauties are

nice and soft thanks to you and your

machine scheme

[Music]

are you saying that

my machine actually

predicted the future

from where i stand that's the deal

can a machine really tell the future oh

no dan it was just a coincidence shame

on you miss jones i bring into the

arcade a machine that can predict the

future and you sneer and gear shame on

you

ladies and gentlemen an actual machine

that can predict the future awaits in my

arcade who will be the first to put a

nickel in

[Applause]

hey slots baby it's like snow dome city

outside live what what do you mean so

what like if everyone is stuck at the

station that means more nickels in the

box

and you know what that means you said it

oh

here comes someone man make like the

snow and drift

[Music]

oh yeah yeah i know the trains can't run

and so the passengers are hanging out at

the station and that means they're

putting money in the jukebox right

wrong

we can't get upstairs and play right

wrong

they probably got ten different songs

they want to hear right wrong 10

different times they're not putting

money in our jukebox they're putting

money into schemer's fortune-telling

machine what that piece of junk

yes that piece of junk schemer told them

the machine can tell the future

but that's wrong that's right what let's

go

good news from a trusted advisor be

prepared

to act on it um

oh well obviously the trusted advisor

is me

well don't just stand there act on it

now

give me some advice i've been thinking

about getting a new hairdo lately do you

think i should do it

definitely

oh

thank you schemer

see you later folks

stan

holy

it is freezing i was outside helping

billy but i had to come in my nose was

turning to ice

i've been helping up and down the line

too when someone isn't looking you know

and reaches for a tool and suddenly

finds it's a little closer than he

thought that's me i've given a helping

hand by pushing it closer it's the least

i can do considering

considering what mr conductor

considering that i know the person who's

responsible for this sudden frost i

asked him not to do it but he never

listens

told who

jack frost who else he's the one who

made it so cold out there

well thanks to jack frost everybody

thinks schemer can see the future

you see jenny got this fortune that said

look out for bad weather and now it came

true oh that was just a coincidence jack

frost planned all this a long time ago

you know what's funny he loves to

confuse people with cold weather but

personally he's really a very warm

individual

well right now he could be schemer's

best friend

do you think i should take that new job

two yes should i win the lottery uh the

possibility of it you're right cara all

those people believe what schemer's

telling them but that's what happens

when you get impatient you rush into

something before you're really ready

does thomas ever get impatient oh indeed

he does in fact one time he got so

impatient he left his conductor behind

we conductors don't like to be left

behind

i'll tell you all about it

[Applause]

thomas the tank engine is very proud of

his branch line he thinks it is the most

important part of the whole railway his

two coaches annie and clarabelle agree

with him

annie can only take passengers but

clarabel can take passengers baggage and

the conductor

they're both old and need new paint but

thomas loves them very much

as they run backwards and forwards along

the line they sing songs to each other

when thomas starts from a station he

sings oh come along we're rather late oh

come along we're rather late and the

coaches sing we're coming along we're

coming along

[Music]

they don't mind what thomas says to them

because they know he is trying to please

sir topham hatt and they know too that

if thomas is crossed he's not crossed

with them

[Music]

one day they had to wait for henry's

train which made thomas very cross

how can i run my line properly if henry

is always late he doesn't realize that

sir topham hatt depends on me

thomas whistled impatiently he wanted to

leave but he had to wait for henry's

passengers

[Music]

at last henry kane

[Music]

where have you been lazy bones

oh dear my system is out of order no one

understands my case you don't know what

i suffer

rubbish said thomas you're too slow you

need exercise

the conductor blew his whistle and

thomas started so quickly that he left

him behind

the conductor waved his red flag to stop

thomas but thomas was well on his way

steaming out of the station

come along come along puff thomas

but clarabel didn't want to come i've

lost my nice conductor i've lost my nice

conductor she saw

and he tried to tell thomas what had

happened we haven't a conductor we

haven't a conductor but he was hurrying

and wouldn't listen

annie and clarabel tried to put on their

brakes but they couldn't without the

conductor where is our conductor where

is our conductor they cried but thomas

didn't stop till they came to a signal

bother that signal said thomas what's

the matter

i don't know said his driver the

conductor will tell us in a minute

they waited and waited but the conductor

didn't come

beep beep beep where's the conductor

whistle thomas

we've left him behind saab danny and

clarabel together

[Music]

everyone looked

and there he was running as fast as he

could along the line with his flags in

one hand and his whistle in the other

he was very hot so he had a drink and

told them that thomas had left them

behind

i'm very sorry said thomas we all make

mistakes replied the conductor

look the signal is down we can go let's

make up for lost time

[Music]

annie and clarabel were so pleased to

have their conductor again that they

sang as fast as you like as fast as you

like to thomas all the way

they reached the end of the line quicker

than ever before

[Music]

at least thomas said he was sorry i

don't think schemer sorry about anything

i'd better have a little talk with jack

frost before this turns into bigger

trouble

supporting the arts brings ample

benefits

boy talk about your obvious

that means put all your money into music

right behind you

in the jukebox

here they come children boku nickels

that schemer he wouldn't know the truth

if it came and hit him in the nose yeah

well maybe but you know some people will

believe anything right tax as long as

it's what they want to hear rex yeah but

that doesn't make it right um

can we discuss this later right now we

have a job to do namely turkey and the

straw

as i was going down the road entire team

and a heavy load crack my whip and the

leader sprung that says day day to the

wagon tongue turkey and strong

turkey and hay

rolling twisting

i went out to milk and i didn't know how

i milked a goat instead of a cow a

monkey sitting on a pile of straw

winking his eyes at his mother-in-law

turkey and straw

turkey and

[Music]

in the straw

came to the river and i couldn't get

across paid five dollars for an old

blind heart wouldn't go ahead nor he

wouldn't stand still so we went up and

down like an old saw mill turkey

[Applause]

[Music]

straw

uh somebody call my name

to think that schemer can predict the

future and i didn't even think he could

predict his own

birthday no no no now listen midge

schemer cannot predict the future nobody

can predict the future no his machine

got lucky now everybody thinks that he

has special powers well he does no no no

mitch he doesn't it was just luck

oh

schemer

you may now address me as

el skeemo

that sounds like a city in california

but have it your own way are you really

on the level

what level

my dear quaint small town busybody el

skimo is on a level high above that of

mere mortals i have joined the cosmic

dults

of the universe and now

for a mere nickel you may hear me speak

of the future future future future

future oh speak to me future future

future speak to me oh boy now i've heard

everything everything everything yes i'm

sensing some negative vibrations in the

neighborhood it let us be on our way no

no no no no listen schemer

this is the most outrageous thought that

you have ever pulled and listen to me

these people trust you and you're

cheating them out of their money

oh

mouth off to el skimo now listen el

chito

the passengers in this station are my

responsibility

and i am going to tell them the truth

about you

mr was my public oh wait now listen

everybody please listen

i'm sorry but this man is a fake he

cannot predict the future so please

don't waste your money on him how do you

know yeah what about the tomatoes

yes yes what about the tomatoes

listen

there's no law against telling a bunch

of suckers what they want to hear

[Music]

ah

your home is your domain

nature will submit to your design

does this mean what i think it means

maybe possibly a chance oh scheme of

reno or whatever your name is you see

i have got this big patch poison ivy out

back which is driving me crazy and if i

read this right this means i should go

out there with my beer hands and pull it

all out and show it who's boss am i

right

[Music]

definitely

dog excuse me excuse me excuse me stacy

oh stacy

i got a date with my poison ivy no mitch

please don't listen to him

[Music]

boy you three look as low as the

temperature

schemer's still at it mr conductor i

know and jack frost thinks it's really

hilarious he says watching all these

people falling for schemer's story is

even more fun than seeing cars get stuck

in snow drifts

yeah well if only the trains would start

running and everybody would leave and

this whole thing would just fade away

and then all those people out there who

believed in schemer will feel

embarrassed it's like the time when

gordon and henry were embarrassed

because they believed in all their

bragging about themselves but i suppose

no one wants to hear about that of

course we do

well then what are we waiting for

[Applause]

edward was getting old his bearings were

worn and he clanked as he puffed along

he was taking empty cattle cars to a

market town

[Music]

the sun shone bird sang

but edward was heading for trouble

come on come on he puffed oh oh screamed

the cars edward puffed and clanked the

cars rattled and screamed

some cows were grazing nearby they were

not used to trains the noise and smoke

disturbed them

as edward clanked by they broke through

the fence and ran across the line

a coupling was broken and some cars were

left behind

[Music]

edward felt a jerk but didn't take much

notice he was used to cattle cars

bother those cars he thought why can't

they come quietly

he was at the next station before either

he or his driver realized what had

happened

when gordon and henry heard about the

accident they laughed and boasted fancy

allowing cows to break your train they

wouldn't dare do that to us we'd show

them

old toby was cross

you couldn't help it edward they've

never met cows i have and i know the

trouble they are

[Music]

some days later gordon rushed through

edward station

mind the cows hurry hurry puffed gordon

don't make such a fuss don't make such a

fuss grumbled his coaches

a long stretch of line lay ahead in the

distance was a bridge

it seemed to gordon that there was

something on the bridge his driver

thought so too

gordon he said and shut off steam

said gordon it's only a cow

shoe

he moved slowly onto the bridge but the

cow wouldn't chew she had lost her calf

and felt lonely

she said sadly

everyone tried to send her away but she

wouldn't go

henry arrived

[Music]

what's this a cow i'll soon settle her

be off be off

henry backed away nervously

i don't want to hurt her

[Music]

at the next station henry's conductor

told him about the cow and warned the

signalman that the line was blocked

[Music]

that must be bluebell said the porter

her calf is here looking for her mother

percy will take her along

[Music]

at the bridge bluebell was very pleased

to see her calf again and the porter led

them away

[Music]

not a word

keep it secret whispered gordon and

henry to each other they felt rather

silly

but the story soon spread

[Music]

well well well chuckled edward two big

engines afraid of a cow

afraid rubbish said gordon we didn't

want the poor thing to hurt herself by

running up against us

we stopped so as not to excite her you

see what i mean my dear edward

yes gordon said edward

gordon felt somehow that edward saw only

too well

[Music]

gordon and henry sort of tricked

themselves didn't they

that's what happens when you brag too

much schemer always brags about how

great he is i wish he'd trick himself

wait a minute that gives me an idea but

we better act fast because el skimo is

getting more popular every minute listen

he's a dream shining time station to him

give shiny time

[Music]

okay here's the plan oh but it better

work because if it doesn't things could

be worse than they are now

okay

you have to do it

[Music]

ah some of my lambs have returned home

teamer people k*lled them that's i'm

explaining to you

i took your advice and i pulled out that

whole patch of poison ivy well it did

not submit to my design all it did was

make me break out all over oh

and i had that hairdo you told me to get

and do you know what happened do you

know what happened i predict you're

going to tell me

wow

[Music]

hell schemo shall explain i'll explain

silence ordinary people

i shall all contact you degrees beyond

the machine shall issue a note and the

great el skimo shall interpret it

what do you want else chemo

it's a it's a talking machine

well what do you know about that

tell us the future old talking machino

you cannot see the future nor can i

no one can see the

future it's a it's a machine that has a

sense of humor it's joking i appreciate

your sense of humor let us all laugh

you told these people lies to get their

money

shame on you

well i made up i i made a few guesses it

didn't work out so well but

you twisted around my messages your

predictions are all wrong you are a

phony oh no no i mean

what about ginny's tomatoes ginny's

tomatoes are you kidding

that was a coincidence

that is the last time i ever spent one

cent in your arcade you phony

it's the machine it's it's inhabited by

an evil spirit i have schema i never did

believed it anyway yeah i knew he was a

fake all along wait wait who are you

going to believe wait what you got to

believe

you know this wasn't all schemer's fault

what do you mean well none of those

people had to do what schemer told them

to do

they did it on their own that's right

then they did but they should have known

better than to listen to everything that

schemer said sometimes people don't use

common sense and speaking of common

sense you'll be fine just trust me let

me know

are you going to apologize to everyone

don't forget apologize er eskimo

the train is here let's go what about

the region you should be ashamed of

yourself yeah you should be run out of

time no wait wait i'll predict something

good for you stay around i have some

good news for all of you oh something it

is in the future we all have futures and

of course you want to see what your

future is so stay with el skimo and i

believe i fell for his line of oohy

i've never been so embarrassed that all

my life

ginny why don't you come back to my

place and we'll get embarrassed together

oh good

okay i apologize i'm sorry steady stay

on the set of choice

[Music]

[Music]

everybody thinks i'm no good yeah well i

wonder why you think it's because you

lied cheated and stole their money

what's the reason for everybody to be

mad at me

is it

okay

little schemer

are you ever gonna pull a stunt like

this again

no miss jones okay

but it was kind of fun while it lasted

schemer

i didn't hear that

it is i the spirit of the machine

i'll come back to haunt you if you ever

trick people like that again

no don't do that please don't do that

don't you want me to tell you the future

no no not one of the future businesses

are completely out of the future

i predict you are going to take a trip

[Music]

reach for the speed

reach for the whistle go where the rail

may run

reach for the words

reach for the story

follow the rainbow sun

to a shining tide station

where dreams can come true

waiting there for

[Music]

hopes to hold on to who knows how far

you'll go

to a shining time station

where dreams can come true

your own

imagination

waiting there for you

funding for this program was provided in

part by the corporation for public

broadcasting and by the financial

support of viewers like you

[Music]

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