03x15 - Schemer's Special Club

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

funding for this program was provided in

part by the corporation for public

broadcasting and by the financial

support of viewers like you

reach for the speed

reach for the whistle go where the rail

may run

reach for the words

reach for the story

follow the rainbow sun

to a shining time station

where dreams can come true

[Music]

ah

you young people

how

youthful you are on your youngness

schemer

are you feeling all right my dear child

i have never felt better by the way has

a mr hobart hume the third been asking

for me who is mr hobart hume iii

mr hobart hume iii

owner of the snarleyville toxic chemical

company one of the truly great chemical

companies from here to snarleyville and

he is president

of the nicolaire club

he's gonna be uh coming by the station

today and if i can impress him he's

gonna let me join

so what's all that stuff for schemer

yeah

well these are uh but a few modest

treats for mr hume's elegant snacking

enjoyment

yeah uh this is uh uh some toffee my

mommy made and my personal favorite the

cake

hey get your hands over there

i mean uh remove your hands at once

young man now uh afterwards there's

anything left maybe you can share some

of this with me

i uh i always eat the head first

and uh i'm sure mr hume does too

how do you know mr hume likes to eat the

head first yeah because mr hume and i

are the same kind of people that's why i

get out of my way i gotta practice

ah

mr mrs hume charmed i'm sure

and by the way would you care to partake

in some of mama's homemade toffee

what's that prefer me to have some fest

how tata of you

hmm

[Music]

i don't think mr hume is gonna like

schemer's toffee

but how come hope arthur iii has to come

to check out the station yeah what's

that got to do with schemer being in his

club maybe hobart wants to see if he can

hold club meetings here

did i hear someone mention a club

mr conductor schemer's going to join the

nicholair club

well clubs can be fun i belong to two

myself one is the messy club once a

month the messy club meets and makes a

big mess of things my house my backyard

you name it

i do that all the time and i'm not even

in a club but then who has to clean it

all up

who else the clean club

i'm a member of that one too they're

both very exclusive which means that not

just anybody can join

what do you have to do to become a

member

you have to be me i'm the only member of

each one

in fact i'm off to a meeting of the

messi club right now i can't wait to

mess things up i'll tell you how it goes

i'm late i hope i don't start without me

[Music]

children i have been to my tailor

picked up my tux and we are moving

uptown yeah if schemer gets in the

nickel air club we'll go too

can't you just see this old jukebox in

their fancy schmancy lounge important

people gathering all around with lots of

nickels

and schemer

actually showing some class for once

i

mean can you dig it oh

can you dig it

could someone help me please

ah

mr hume i presume

and you are i guess

schema

at your side in your pocket and uh under

your thumb

ah

the

candidate and let me uh show you around

the station shall i please

yes good uh oh yes this uh

this desk it's uh

rather amusing isn't it

please

heavens oh yes

ah miss would you kindly tell the

station manager that i'm here i am the

station manager i do not wish to speak

to this girl i wish to speak to the

station manager himself herself i'm the

station manager stacy jones

ah uh very well hobart hume iii

jones yes i know that name well it's

rather common yes my dear i'm afraid it

is billy two feathers oh really uh

translated from the french de plume

no from the um lakota sioux

well good for you it takes such courage

to be an indian in today's world

we don't say indian around shining time

station

we say native american

oh yes and

a terrific native american as well

um schema this is all rather tedious uh

perhaps you could provide some

entertainment or perhaps the children

could a song maybe oh yes uh they'd love

to

you're kidding

right

oh dad don't be so juvenile dan huh

[Music]

so then hope old man old boy how does uh

old joe clark sound hmm you know that

one don't you of course not

well whatever you say

it's show time let's sell it come on

nicolaes here we come

[Music]

oh

[Music]

watch those dirty hands

[Music]

[Music]

oh

[Music]

oh

[Music]

very amusing indeed how clever to keep

children on hand to entertain ah yes

it's a is rather clever

and uh how about that music hope

dreadful of course

yes yes of course it was but the uh

uh

the jukebox though utterly appalling

naturally no one at the club would be

caught dead operating such a thing i

mean what isn't a teenager after all is

one no one isn't a teenager after all

but then again uh

the arcade

rather sad little joke don't you think

schemer doesn't think so he loves it

yeah he loves you yeah he yes yes he

loves he loves he loves uh

thinking about her doing other things

with the space for example um

setting up a booth and selling

toxic chemicals

interesting

we might discuss that at some other time

yes

we might discuss it

i don't get it i mean we didn't play

that bad maybe somebody wasn't trying

don't look at me if you want to blame

somebody blame that hobart hume hey if

schemer joins that club text what

happens to us

i suppose they'll just

leave us here rex

oh

oh send us to an antique store and put

us up for sale

real cheap

or

put us in the basement with a sheet over

us till the end of

time

[Music]

schemer i've been wondering if you're

really one of our kind oh i don't mind

that you work for a living we're much

more tolerant of that sort of thing than

we used to be alas well things were

quite different 50 years ago isn't that

right sir

they were indeed

you seem to know your history miss jones

i bet you're a treasure trove of foxy

railroad law why not entertain us with

some railroad stories miss jones oh you

don't really want to hear my story sir

indulge me stacy i love to hear tales of

working people well i'm quite busy today

sir i bet you tell them every bit as

well as a man

perhaps some other time sir maybe we

should go and have this uh meeting in my

workshop

well that is not fair i mean someone has

got to make my visit here more bearable

folk songs little children uncooperative

women really schema were kind of

frightful place is this well um

it's it and you

billy two feathers

how about a demonstration of your

people's wonderful culture a rain dance

a w*r dance uh some medicine and mumble

jumbo surprise me oh i'd love to

surprise you

quite a kitter he is

yes

how droll well perhaps uh some other

time chief

uh yes this chief chief uh chief ha ha

chief big joke chief laughing gas

but he's only joking he appears to be

obnoxious but he's only joking and and

stacy here why certainly she appears to

be sarcastic and snippy but it's all

it's a joke

and uh

take the children

please

but

seriously though it's they appear rude

but they're just joking it's it's it's

just a joke it's all just one big joke

one

one

horrible

horrible joke the whole station is just

one

junk

and uh well if you don't like it then

don't blame me because i don't like it

either either

neither neither

scuba

i've had my doubts about you well

haven't we all

but i think you're beginning to show

promise i think you may just be our kind

i'm going to return to the club and

discuss this with my colleagues then

i shall return

miss jones chief two feathers children

so

delightful meeting you

[Music]

and we're delighted as well tata

[Music]

all

right

oh

is he something or what oh yeah he's

something all right

i know just what that something is class

total class with a capital k

i tell you though i have to take some of

the credit because i uh

certainly knew how to

handle that guy

schemer why would you ever want to be

like him your mr hume is the most

insulting arrogant prejudiced person i

have ever met

miss jones that's just his personality

huh well who does he think he is doesn't

he know we have a busy station to run he

thinks he's better than everyone else

i know isn't it great oh

hey don't worry about it jose you're

gonna get what you want which is what to

get into the nicolaire club that's what

oh don't you see i got the whole thing

planned now once i'm in i can get you

guys in is that clever or is that

clever

schemer

i don't think you understand what's

going on here

billy dwyane look like the type of man

who doesn't know what's going on

[Music]

the meeting of the clean club is in

session thank goodness we got rid of

that guy in the messy club

i wish we could join your clubs mr

conductor schemers doesn't sound like

much fun

well stacy says that mr hume thinks he's

better than everyone else but everybody

wants to feel good about themselves

don't they yeah well

some people feel too good about

themselves the engines on the island of

sodor have the same problem

take the story of oliver the new engine

well you can't take it unless i give it

to you right

[Applause]

on a clear day when the sky is blue and

there's just enough breeze to blow the

clouds away you can stand on the big

hill above the valley and watch duck and

oliver far below busily at work on ducks

branch line near the sea

the two engines are very proud of their

matching coats of gleaming color

oliver often talks about the time that

douglas saved him from scrap

if it wasn't for his help oliver will

say i might have been caught when i ran

away from the scrapyard and i would

never have come to live here on sir

topham hatt's railway

the other engines all wanted to know

about oliver's adventures

amazing remarked henry oliver said james

has resource

and sagacity put in gordon

what does that mean whispered percy i

think replied thomas it's about being

clever and wise

he is finished gordon an example to us

all

i'm sorry to say that oliver became very

puffed up in the smoke box henry says

i'm amazing he's right he whistled as he

swooshed along the line

one day sir topham hatt came to see him

you are doing well now you must learn

how to look after freight cars

every wise engine knows that you cannot

trust freight cars the other engines

warned oliver but he took no notice

you think i can't manage he said huffly

gordon knows better he says i'm

sagacious

you may be

good gracious or whatever you call it

but cars can be troublesome and

say no more duck interrupted donald it's

a pity but the wii engine will just have

to learn for himself

oliver pulled some loaded cars to a

siding and pushed the empties to the

chute

[Music]

then he came back to take the loaded

cars away

but they were comfortable and didn't

want to move

what right is he to poke his funnel in

here

we want duck or donald

or douglas look sharp puffed oliver

that's not the way to speak his the cars

we'll get even

oliver heard nothing

the cars moved smoothly at first then

suddenly oliver felt them push forward

[Music]

his driver applied the brakes but they

were useless against the surging cars on

and on yelled the cars oliver fought

hard but still they forced him on and on

at last the cars grew tired

i'm winning gasped oliver but it was too

late

[Applause]

oliver lay bruised and bemused bunker

down in the turntable well

duck surveyed the damage

hello oliver are you being a good

gracious engine beg pardon but we really

don't like this sort of surprise donald

and douglas will miss their turntable

until it is mended

that evening oliver was hauled gently to

safety

i'm sorry sir he said to sir topham hatt

i should have listened to doc's advice i

don't feel good gracious or whatever it

is i just feel silly

well oliver replied sir topham hatt now

you know the damage cars can do

yes i do sir

i look like a load of scrap iron

oh i don't think so laughter topham hatt

but you do need to go to the works to be

mended

the other engines now felt sorry for

oliver

the branch line won't be the same

without you whistle duck come back soon

a few days later oliver did come back

his coat gleamed brighter than ever he

was a wiser engine too and never made a

mistake about cars again

[Music]

oliver's sort of like mr hume

i think mr hume is worse than oliver

at least oliver learned that he wasn't

better than everyone else yeah oh

schemer

this is the stickiest toffee i've ever

stepped in

i don't think i'll stick around

where is everybody where is chief two

arrows and little stacy with their

folksy yarns

ah here you are stacy be a good girl and

spin us a few yarns

i don't think so mr hume

isn't that just like a woman they lead

you on and then they change their minds

what about you chief gonna let me down

too

no dance

uh

sir mr hume i think i will tell you a

story ah wonderful yes it's about a

station manager and a club

once upon a time there was a person who

ran a train station on the indian valley

railroad what a coincidence yes

and this station was one of the most

important places in town and everybody

knew and loved this station manager well

there can't be all work and no play so

this person decided to join the local

business and social club however

the members of this club would not let

this station manager join and why

because this person was a woman and the

name of the club was the nicolaire club

mr hume and that person was my

grandmother gracie jones a heartbreaking

story but i'm afraid that was before my

time it might have been before your time

is the hobrid human the third but you

are exactly like your grandfather hobart

human the first the founder and the

president of the nicolaire club you walk

into this busy train station and you

expect everyone to just stop what

they're doing and entertain you well

that's insensitive and insulting and you

know what the sad thing is mr hume you

don't have to be this way you weren't

born prejudiced it's something that you

learn from someone like your grandfather

and i feel sorry for you because of all

the wonderful people that you'll never

get to know because you think that

you're superior to everyone else

well

you're welcome to use this train station

if you have a train to catch mr hume but

i would like you to conduct your

business for your club

elsewhere well i never

you know

mr hume

where i come from

we have a name for people like you

we call them bigots

but um

when they come here they don't seem to

stay that long

not a shining time station

and they don't seem to come back

ah hume old man old boy ah

i see you've been chatting with billy

he's uh nervous because he wants to join

the club they uh they all want to join

the club isn't that right children

that's so cute as i told stacey that uh

once i'm in the club then uh we'll let

billy stacy and the kids in as well

right cube heavens man

talk since

whatever do you mean may i remind you we

are talking of the nicolaire club we

don't want them in our club

their children

well yes but

also miss jones will not be admitted

because like her grandmother she is a

woman well yes but mr two ponies will

not be admitted because

because he is an indian well yes i know

but i said nobody called me prejudiced

either i would feel the same about

anybody who is not exactly like me

well yes but they are not our kind of

people and i do mean our kind of people

schemer because

now you are my kind of people

well yes but all you have to do

is

cut off that curl and you're one of us

what are you kidding with me

cut off my curl hey that's what makes me

me i'm not cutting off my curl i'd

rather throw away my nickels and cut off

my curl hey what kind of a club is this

you got there going anyway huh

everyone's got to be like you doesn't

sound like much fun to me my dear boy

fun has nothing to do with it the

purpose of the nicolaire club is to

provide a haven from the rest of the

world we are the desert and the rest of

the world

merely leftovers

ah

yes yes that reminds me um

would you care to partake in some of

mama's homemade toffee oh

thank you don't mind if i do

sticky yes

yes yes i agree completely totally agree

yes yes now well listen here bud huh i

don't know what kind of club you're

running here but i don't want to be in

your nickel nose in the air club i mean

if it's not good enough for my friends

and it's not good enough for me

go

go

[Music]

[Music]

the club's not good enough for my

friends is just not good enough for me

well we're proud of you skeeter hey hey

what a clutch falling down huh

i am proud of me too i tell you though

can you believe that though i mean it

was what

whoa

she always put that in my mouth

[Music]

mr conductor

who cleaned up the station the clean

club who else because a it's our job and

b i thought schemer deserved a little

help after standing up to mr hume like

[Music]

that what's wrong schemer

uh

i just wish that there was a a good club

to join you know

hey

who straightened up the place

um i guess you could say it was one of

your fans

hey come on come on what are you talking

about what are you saying what are you

saying come on what are you saying okay

schemer we have an announcement to make

we're starting a whole new club that

everybody can be in yeah but we want you

to be our very

very

first member

really you mean it yeah yeah

okay but i'll uh i'll do it on one

condition what's that

i get to be treasurer

okay let's start right now the first

thing we gotta do is get dues

everybody's gonna pay a nickel a month

for dudes secondly i get an extra nickel

a month from each of you because i was

when i came up with the idea

reach for the speed

reach for the whistle go where the rail

may run

reach for the words

reach for the story follow the rainbow

sun

to a shining tide station

where dreams can come true

waiting there for you

so much to see

so far to travel

so much to learn to know

friends by your side

hopes to hold on to who knows how far

you'll go

to a shining time station

where dreams can come true

your own imagination

[Music]

funding for this program was provided in

part by the corporation for public

broadcasting and by the financial

support of viewers like

you this is pbs