02x02 - Oh, What a Tangled Web

[bunniefuu]

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reach for the speed reach for the

whistle go where the rail may run

reach for the words

reach for the story

follow the rainbow

sun to a shining time station

[Applause]

where dreams can come true

[Music]

hello mr conductor

come up come up wherever you are

mr

as superintendent of the indian valley

railroad i order you to

appear

please

ah miss jones there you are yes indeed i

was just checking for mice

that's good

i came by to tell you miss jones that

the sunset flyer has been rerouted and

will not arrive in indian valley until

tomorrow

but i want to stop by and make sure that

this station was ship shape

or train safe as the case may be when it

gets here

[Music]

uh are there any passengers wishing to

go into town none so far today

there was no one special who got off the

sunset flyer oh no no it's been delayed

until tomorrow

all right

are you expecting someone

see

see an actor

someone who will add just the right

touch of realism to a scene in my new

play

who is stacy yeah is felix a bus driver

or an actor well he is a bus driver and

he's an actor and he's a director too

stacy

why would you never come audition for

one of my places so let's not get into

that again felix

what do you think dan kara

the shining time stars community theater

presents

stacy jones and felix perez in romeo and

juliet

by william shakespeare

unto the white upturned wandering eyes

of mortals who fall back to gaze on him

as he bestrides the lazy pacing clouds

and sails upon the bosom of the air oh

romeo romeo wherefore art thou romeo

deny thy father and refuse thy name and

what am

no the answer is no i'm working at the

station now i don't have any time for

acting anymore

isn't she a wonderful juliet

aren't i a wonderful romeo felix my

friend if it's true acting talent you're

looking for a look no further schemer

was born to play romeo

some horseradish some horseradish my

kingdom

for some horseradish hey that ain't

chopped liver okay that's from a

different place schemer a play schmae to

be or not to be you get the idea so when

do i start how much do i get now listen

though

seriously i'm gonna need my own dressing

room and a personal assistant to take

care of all my personal needs uh excuse

me felix

i just ran out of wood polish can you

drive me into town perez pronto post

company is at your service senorita

jones

or uh should i say juliet oh billy billy

i'm going into town yeah just just for a

few minutes okay kids listen i want you

to stay here with billy and if the phone

rings i want you to answer it okay i'll

be right back come on okay

we would just

i wonder if it's any fun

acting in a play

it must be but stacy says it's hard work

too she used to be an actress you know

how could it be hard it's just

pretending isn't it

hey look here comes your friend becky i

know just pretend we have real jobs here

and see if she believes us yeah

everybody

it's really nice out wanna come to the

park hi becky what can i do for you

young lady say what carol what's with

him he's been under a lot of pressure

being assistant manager of the station

and all dan's the assistant manager of

the station i am so sure don't make me

laugh kyra

hey that's no way to talk to the

assistant engineer i live

you're kidding right who's kidding

well that's okay

i was passing by my way to see my

friends anyway

my other friends

all of them okay becky see ya yeah later

becky

we're having a party a really big party

tonight me and all my friends there'll

be lots of games and treats too i don't

know how i'm gonna have room for mom my

place is kind of small and we'll need a

lot of space why don't you have the

party right here in the station i'd

never get permission you have my

permission me the assistant manager

well

that's really nice you guys

i guess

starting time station dan jones speaking

can i help you

yes mr kent

no you don't know

i'm the new assistant manager

the sunset floor is back on schedule

after all

it'll be here this afternoon

yes sir i'll tell them

you're welcome you guys really do work

here don't you

well

i'll um

have to get back to you about the party

thanks for offering um

i'd better go and

start the um

invitations

see you later

bye

oh boy what are we gonna do now becky

thinks we really have jobs here and she

thinks she has permission to have a big

party here tonight

maybe

maybe she'll forget

she might forget but i won't forget

mr assistant manager and miss assistant

engineer

that's right i am schemer and you are

the assistant engineer and you sir are

the assistant station manager i can't

tell the two of you what a privilege it

is to meet the both of you

you're only playing schemer or acting oh

you know like in a play

please don't tell them the schemer will

do anything

anything

thank you

well why were on the subject of

assistance i always felt that i needed

or should i say deserved an assistant or

two

sort of like uh schemer's little helpers

for your helpers you want telling us

right you're catching on danny boy

you're catching on

let's start my hard-working assistants

by first

polishing the machines and second

dusting my shoes

if there's one thing i can't stand it's

a liar

well same here partner why i've never

told a lie myself hold on hold on now

that's a lie right there

what's a lie that you never told a lie i

heard you tell plenty of lies why you

mangy prairie dog cool and cool it i

have an idea

why don't you two go and lie down eh

[Laughter]

mr master hi

oh hello mr conductor where are you

going well in exactly ten minutes time

i'm going sailing in the regatta on swan

lake

meanwhile are you two so busy having

time for a story you scheme around don't

see him anywhere

good i think this story will be of

particular interest to you

it's a story about well

telling stories

[Applause]

[Music]

what happened to doc is he all right oh

he's fine he only worked out of edward

station for a little while so topham

hatt never believed diesel's lies and

duck came home before too long so all

was well in the end there's a big

difference between telling lies about

other people to get them into trouble

and just you know pretending

right pretending maybe but getting becky

to believe you have real jobs here at

the station has gotten you into trouble

hasn't it

but isn't there some magic you could do

to make the lie go away not this time

cara

lies can't be magicked away but there is

a magic trick you could do and it begins

working when you both tell billy and

stacy the truth now

to the regatta anchors away

[Music]

i saved daniel the floor could use a

jolly good mopping get to it right now

will you pip it pop up and all that yes

kevin i am in the mood fishing music um

be in love and play the jukebox for me

how was one nickel

well that's all it takes is one nickel

[Laughter]

this is life isn't it yes

[Music]

around here

[Music]

me

[Music]

hey

[Music]

[Music]

here

[Music]

playing around here

[Music]

[Music]

anyhow

[Music]

no i didn't i never got my boat into the

water the swans all chased me away they

said it was a swans-only race

say have you talked to brilliant stacey

yet

no not yet

schemer could you roll over please

well they'll find out anyway just like

what happened to james who's james

surely you remember james he's a bright

red engine he thinks he's the best and

brightest on the island of sodor let me

explain

[Applause]

james is a mixed traffic engine he can

pull both freight cars and coaches

[Music]

he's proud of his smart red paint and so

is his driver

everyone says you brighten up their day

james

one morning james whistled loudly at the

other engines

look at me i am the smartest most useful

engine on the line

rubbish replied thomas we're all useful

sir topham hatt says so and he's head of

the whole railway

you know what james added percy what

replied james you're getting all puffed

up

james huffed away

[Music]

later he was still boasting i'm the

pride of the line

i saw you pulling freight cars snorted

gordon you're only a goods engine

i pull coaches too

not as much as i do

but sir topham hatt has plans for me

james was only making this up but gordon

believed him

what plans

uh wait and see

oh dear he thought now what'll i do

thomas was shunting shining new coaches

good morning james

are those coaches for me ask james

hopefully no these are for gordon's

express i'll fetch your freight cars

next but james was going to play a trick

on the other engines

actually thomas i'm taking the coaches

sir topham hatt asked me to tell you

what about the cars asked thomas uh give

them to gordon come on thomas said his

driver orders are orders so when james's

driver returned james was coupled to the

coaches and he puffed away

[Music]

thomas returned with the freight cars

and a few minutes later gordon arrived

where's the

express thomas told him about james and

so here are your cars

gordon was very cross and so was his

driver

wait'll sir topham hatt hears about this

meanwhile james was enjoying himself

enormously

what a clever plan what a clever plan he

chucked

then he saw sir topham hatt

some jokes are funny but not this one

james you have caused confusion

yes sir said james you will now stay in

your shed until you are wanted

the other engines teased james i wonder

who'll be pulling the express today said

gordon i expect it'll be you replied

henry james is stuck in the shed for

being silly

james felt sad

[Music]

next morning he went back to work hello

whistle thomas good to see you out and

about again

i'm sorry i tricked you said james are

these my cars yes replied thomas kindly

they are pleased to have you back

james set off to the harbor with his

train of freight cars he bustled about

all day pushing and pulling them into

place

[Music]

time to go home now james said his

driver at last no cars or passengers

just we too

but his driver was wrong

excuse me called a man i have a meeting

with sir topham hatt and i mustn't be

late may i ride back with you

of course replied james's driver then he

whispered to james this gentleman is a

railway inspector

james was most impressed

he steamed along the line as smoothly

and quickly as he could

[Music]

sir topham hatt was waiting on the

platform and the railway inspector

greeted him warmly

this clever engine gave me a splendid

ride you must be proud of him

yes indeed once again you are a really

useful engine

so you see everything worked out for

james and it can work out for you

[Music]

miss jones mr two feathers i hope i'm

not too late

i haven't missed it happened

mr king the sunset flyer isn't in yet

many famous people arrived sorry mr king

sunset flyer's not right until tomorrow

you told us yourself not two hours ago i

left a message with your new assistant

station manager mr dan jones

assistant station manager dan jones

this fellow here is dan jones

you're the assistant station manager

dan cara what is this all about

well it's stacy you see karen and i were

playing a game and we were pretending we

had real jobs here then becky came in a

who in the name of diesel fuel is becky

uh mr king uh no harm done really i mean

everything is all right everything is

under control

[Music]

you call that being under control

what may i ask is the meaning of this

i'll do be a love and scratch my foot

won't you uh hello jb

[Music]

ah mr jb king esquire uh exalted head uh

the meaning of this yes uh ah yes the

meaning of this is that it is a

managerial retreat yes it's uh

especially restful for important

business type people like yourself and i

put a socket at schemer

mr yes mr king

the only thing under control in this

station is my temper

we were just pretending like in the play

felix puts on oh

damn you have to understand there's a

big difference between acting on stage

and pretending in real life

i just wanted becky to think i was your

assistant oh does she

yeah i told her she could have a big

party here at the station well you're

gonna have to tell her the party is off

i know boy she's gonna really hate us oh

no no no she won't hate you no i think

she likes you and kara because you're

you're a friend you know not because you

have big important jobs at the

station i'm sorry aunt stacy

you know what your problem is danny boy

you know what

you're too good an actor

i was gonna tell you billy i wanted to

work it out myself like a real grown-up

engineer would huh

what a real grown-up engineer would do

when he's in trouble

or she's in trouble

is tell the truth

and ask for help and fast

i remember one time i went out one cold

bitter winter night to throw the switch

for the high ball express

but i couldn't was stuck

frozen

and i wired head office and

they told me the engineers were having

trouble all up the line wasn't just me

they told me to

stack some hot coals around the switch

and thawed out

i could hear the

thunder the high ball express rolling

through the valley

i know it didn't have much time for

those red hot coals it worked like a

charm and just in time too because that

highball express came rolling around

that bend and rolled right on through

here right on schedule to see if i

hadn't asked for help

could have been an accident

wow

speaking of schedules shouldn't my

assistant engineer be getting home for

dinner

thanks philly

about the party you first

thanks for saying i could use the

station

but i'm not really having a party

i just said that about all my friends

because

well

i just came over to play with you guys

and you had these jobs and everything

becky we don't have those jobs it's true

we were just pretending

sorry becky

you were just acting you know

well i believed you and we believed you

but the

[Music]

so

was the actor i was expecting a ride on

the train today uh he's talking about my

co-star it's a part that i was born to

play uh tell me about my character again

well your character's name is mcdonald

mcdonald and uh he has a farm i got a

farm uh your co-star's here let me go

get her oh good

oh who are those flowers for mr king as

superintendent of the indian valley

railroad i felt it was my official duty

to welcome our famous visitor oh that's

great

meet your co-star

well i must say she presents a uh

splendid profile

i like that in a performing thing

[Music]

felix could we be in one of your place

that would be excellent

but it takes talent you know

you have to be able to convince your

audience you are what you're pretending

to be oh i think we're all pretty good

at that

all right so uh i'm gonna play the part

of a farmer named mcdonald and you were

gonna play the part of the pig you think

you can handle that

i'll start e-i-e-i-o

come on work with me now

[Music]

reach for the speed

reach for the whistle

go where the rail may run

reach for the words

reach for the story follow the rainbow

sun

to a shining tide station

where dreams can come true

waiting there for you

so much to see

so far to travel

so much to learn to know

friends by your side

hopes to hold on to who knows how far

you'll go

to a shining time station

where dreams can come true

your own

imagination

waiting there for you