03x17 - The Joke's on Schemer

[bunniefuu]

funding for this program was provided in

part by The Corporation for Public

Broadcasting and by the financial

support of viewers like

youle where the rail may

run reach for the words reach for the

story Follow The Rainbow

sun to a shining Time Station

where dreams can come true waiting there

for

you hello shining Time Station Stacy

Jones speaking oh hello Mr King oh no

sir schemer isn't in yet oh you're going

to come over here to review his leas for

his

arcade yes sir I'll tell him you're

coming over you're welcome sir

goodbye telling you guys we're in big

trouble tomorrow's April Fool's Day and

that scher's favorite day what will he

do he'll go totally crazy with practical

jokes squirters and buzzers and trick

gum and whoopy cushions maybe we should

just stay away or

or what what if we tore this off schemer

would think today is April Fool's Day

yeah he'd go around saying April fools

April Fools and everybody would look at

him and say

huh

isad I there about me that is me that

makes me so glad that I am

April 1st April

1st wait a minute that means that today

is April Fool's Day the window is H

completely

up that means everyone's going to be out

to get me that means everything that

everybody says or does is out to fool me

oh schemer just the man I wanted to

see don't even think about it Miss Jones

think about what schemer oh is that what

you're going to try to do here play

little Miss innocent with schemer H what

are you talking about schemer I am

talking about schemer rule number one

never ever kid a kid

stairs sure oh sure the place looks

normal enough and that's exactly what

has me worried schemer I don't know what

you're up to but I think you should know

that Mr King is on his way over here to

review your lease Mr

King oh oh that's a real likely story

Miss Jones oh listen it doesn't matter

because I want to be prepared for him

I'm I'm going to be prepared for all of

you whatever this day has in store I

shall be prepared for it but believe me

m Jones when I come

back I shall

return oh boy he's acting strange even

for

him schemer really fell for it actually

thinks that today is April Fool's

Day oh boy itching powder snapping gum

whoopy cushion blackening telescope eye

thing teeth all of it every bit of it

state of the

art oh Miss Jones you almost startled me

schemer that doesn't look like paint to

me well Miss Jones It's Not paint it's

super sticky Space Age

goo I'm laying a line of it down so any

Intruder who tries to come in will get

their tootsies stuck to the floor is

that funny well I mean just just

thinking about it makes me laugh

watch oh scha

now

schemer

schemer schemo you can't be playing

pranks like that on all our

customers playing pranks I'm not playing

pranks Miss Jones I'm defending myself

the world is just crawling with

tricksters and jokesters out to get me

but I intend to get them

first but uh well enough about me let's

talk about Miss Jones the lovely Miss

Jones now Miss Jones a woman of your

sophistication and elegance no doubt

enjoys the uh beautific smell of perfume

why don't you just come a little closer

and experience its magic and Mystique oh

no thank you oh Miss Jones please you're

such a smell rific kind of woman please

just just close your eyes and smell

oh I don't know what you're up to but if

we're going to have to call your mother

to straighten you out we will you go

ahead go ahead call my mommy she knows

what day it is unlike some people around

here can you believe schemer he he

thinks today's April Fool's Day just cuz

the kids change the date on the calendar

and because he's out to trick everyone

he thinks everyone's out to trick him

maybe one of us ought to tell schemer

he's making a mistake Tex go right ahead

Rex not

not wow schemer must have every

practical joke ever made

here hi kids hi Mr Conductor

conductor look out here come the teeth

are you all right that was close I was

almost chattered to Ribbons but why is

schemer using all these tricks today I

thought tomorrow was April Fool's Day it

is but we fooled him we tore today's

page off the calendar so schemer thinks

today is tomorrow did you tell Billy and

Stacy we I haven't told Stacy yet and

Billy's not here today so let me get

this straight now he thinks everyone's

out to trick him and everyone thinks

he's even Stranger than

usual that's a good laugh isn't it and

isn't laughter strange it's so much fun

but it's really not that much different

from coughing is it which is no fun at

all yeah I hate coughing sneezing is

kind of fun hiccups are okay too as long

as you don't have to do them for the

rest of of your life the thing about

laughing is you can make people laugh

just by talking to them of course it's

important to know when where and how

when it comes to telling a joke

sometimes are definitely better than

others speaking of which if you really

want to see something funny take a look

down the anything tunnel not

yet okay now

isn't it fun to play jokes pull an old

friend with a devilish hopx but it's

better by half if it makes your friend

laugh it's a laugh and a

half maybe a pie in a

face get the g*ng rolling all over the

place but if that pie covered guy still

can smile through the pie it's a laugh

and it's nice to think

twice before you douse your cat with

paint you may think it's funny but the

cat sure knows it ain't so when you are

planning your

tricks thoughtfulness has to be part of

the mix cuz when you are all through

with whatever you do if everyone there

is as happy as you it's a laugh and a

half cuz no one hates you it's a laugh

and a half no one berates you it's a

laugh and a half you l no fuses it's a

laugh and a half so no one

loses there's lots of

rinning new friends you're

winning no ink you're

squirting so no one's hurting it's a

laugh and the half and the half and

the

and oh

stop uh Jenny mind telling me what

you're really

doing just what it looks like schemer oh

oh I

see uhhuh

oh the old exploding vegetable

gag not bad they're Tomatoes plain and

simple I'm just putting together a

basket for Stacy uhhuh Tomatoes huh

don't make me

laugh there tomatoes and tell your

clothes to stop laughing at me

all right Jenny let's be honest about

this huh these are uh fake Tomatoes

oldest trick in the book you know and

right now let me show you that I know

more about this than you do okay fake

Tomatoes you deliberately wasted a good

tomato now go on get out of here go pick

on somebody else's Tomatoes hey you're

the one that brought in his the real

tomatoes on purpose in the first place

jimy and another thing what are you what

what EXA what exactly are we doing

fighting I mean you and I are just we're

old friends to go back for so long and

Friends really I don't think should be

fighting or anything like that do you so

why don't we just uh shake and like bu

g*ns be by g*ns oh okay there you

go don't you get rid of that ring it's

awful not a ring

buzzer see what did I tell you we even

have an arcade at shining Time Station

you can listen to music or uh play games

while you wait for your train of course

thank you you've been so helpful oh you

don't have to thank me they'll take good

care of you here it's a friendly station

uh Senor perz can we talk to you oh good

morning everyone good morning schemer

yeah yeah we I'll see how good it is

feel like hey hey hey lady what do you

think you're doing I'm putting a nickel

in the Juke Box I want to hear a song a

sure yeah yeah yeah and it just happens

to be today right be pardon come on I

know what's going on here and you know

what's going on here that means that I

know that you know that I know that you

know that I know what's going on here

but what's going on come on you know

come on I know the score and the score

is schemer one lady zip huh come on

juk boox is closed I thought you said

this was a friendly station well it was

a friendly station schemer what's going

on here money Patrol trying to weed out

fake old money like that fa it people

you are dealing with a master there's

nothing wrong with her nickel schemer

are you feeling all right actually I

have actually I have never felt

better um I'm glad ask that question

because my secret to life is taking the

time to uh smell the roses or the Bonas

or the uh patunas or whatever they might

be care to have a sniffled lady

passenger yeah your right in

there I got disappearing eek in my

eyes what is it

I should have known should have known

what I should have known that all of you

were in This Together secretly plotting

and secretly trying to tricker eyesee me

and and up standing in my own secret

super sticky space H

glue but it won't work it will not work

because now I'm on to you all and I've

got something here I've got something

here where do you find out what this

is wouldn't you like to know

well let's get him loose don't come near

me I got to I'm not afraid to use this

stuff I'm not kidding you I'll spray it

on all

you I'm history what is that stuff it's

it's itching powder I'm getting out of

here Scrat

behind my knee behind my

knee my

my oh look at look who's here Mr JB King

Esquire exhausted head of the railroad I

see that you are in on it too I'm not in

on anything but I'm afraid you are in on

something big trouble it's about your

lease it's expired if you want to keep

on running this arcade you'll have to

sign a new one here

read it carefully and sign on the dotted

line you you people must think I was

born

yesterday I think I'm going to fall with

that fony baloney piece of Godly go

schemer you're making a big mistake oh

am I oh I'm scared I'm scared oh I've

been assigned I'm falling for the trick

hey how do you spell Abraham

Lincoln is this some kind of joke no but

this is

you shouldn't have done that

schemer now are you going to sign that

lease or do I find myself a new

tenant are you going to sign that lease

I'm I bre you this way rip rip

hey able fo jire able fool

D now I guess they know the kind of man

they're dealing

with just when I start to feel sorry for

that schemer he goes too far I think we

ought to play a song Rex yeah what just

like VAP tax without a nickel or

anything

great idea boys that'll drive him crazy

where's crazy I never heard of that

place before let's do this old man and

groove it good

people this old man he played one he

played knickknack on my

drum with the knickknack Pat give my dog

a bone this old man came rolling home

this old man he played two he played

knick-knack on my

shoe with a knickknack py whack give a d

a bone this old man came rolling

home this old man he played three he

played knickknack on my

tree with a nickn pack in my D bone this

old man came rolling

home this old man he played Four he

played knickknack on my

door where the knickknack W in my dog

bone this old man came rolling

home this old man he played five he play

knickknack on my

hive with a knick neck Patty wack give

my dog a bone this old man came rolling

home this old man he played sex he

played knick-knack on my

sticks bone don't make him rolling

home this old man he played Seven he

played Knick neck up to

heaven with a nickn petty give my bone

this old man came rolling

home this old man he played a he played

nickn very

late with the nickn py in my this old

man came rolling

home this old man he played nine he play

knickknack all the

time with the Knick neack PW in my

duck can't believe such a little trick

could make such a big mess I keep

feeling like it's not really our fault

but but it's our fault anyway me

too take it from me Polo is a good game

but but riding on a squirrel isn't as

easy as it looks they keep getting

distracted by acorns hi Mr

Conductor gee I must have the wrong

location is this shining time station or

world headquarters for the

IMs the

IMs the international mopy

Society well our trick on schemer sort

of got out of hand things with schemer

usually do what happened well he got Mr

King really mad and might not be able to

keep the arcade anymore well Mr King is

an intelligent man he knows that people

sometimes make mistakes even railroad

people remember that mix up with Gordon

and Edward no no well you will when I

tell you about it

Thomas's Branch line is important and so

is Edwards but their track and bridges

are not so strong as those on the main

line so topam hat does not allow the

heavier Mainline engines like Gordon to

run on them but one day the way Gordon

was talking you would have thought sir

topam hat had given this order for quite

another

reason it's not fair grumbled Gordon

what isn't fair asked Edward letting

branch line diesels pull Mainline

trains never mind Gordon I'm sure Boo

will let you pull his Freight cars

sometimes Gordon spluttered I won't pull

Boo's dirty cars I won't run on Branch

lines why not it would be a nice change

S tapam hat would never approve huffed

Gordon Branch lines are

vulgar Gordon puffed away

Edward chuckled and followed him to the

station every evening the two engines

pull two fast trains from the station

Gordon always leaves first with an

Express for the main line Edward follows

5 minutes later with his train for the

branch

line usually everything runs like

Clockwork but tonight there was trouble

a lady in a green floppy hat was saying

goodbye to a

friend it was nearly time for Gordon to

start the fireman looked back towards

the conductor's van and saw something

green waving right away mate he thought

the conductor had waved his flag Gordon

started leaving luggage his passengers

and the conductor all standing on the

platform everyone was very surprised and

cross to make matters worse by the time

Gordon had been stopped and brought back

Edward was already late with his

train so now he set off

first but the signalman at the junction

wasn't told about the

change by mistake he sent Edward along

the main

line Gordon was sent along the branch

and arrived cold and cross on one of the

sidings near the

harbor next morning Bill and Ben peeped

into the yard there were no cars for

them but they didn't mind that teasing

Gordon would be much better fun what's

that asked Bill sh whispered Ben it's

Gordon it looks like Gordon but it can't

be Gordon never comes on the branch

lines he thinks them

vulgar Gordon pretended he hadn't heard

them if it isn't Gordon said Ben it's

just a pile of Old Iron which we'd

better take to the

scrapyard no bill this lot's useless for

scrap we'll take it to the harbor and

dump it in the

sea Gordon was alarmed I am Gordon stop

stop when bco suddenly arrived Gordon

thought him the most beautiful sight he

had ever

seen Boco my dear engine save me boo

quickly sized up the situation and

threatened to take away the cars he had

brought for Bill and Ben this made the

twins behave at once Gordon thought boo

was wonderful those little demons how do

you do it ah well said boo it's just an

act Gordon still believes that boo saved

his life but we know the Twins were only

teasing don't

we well that wasn't really Gordon's

fault his conductor made a mistake right

and the two twin engines tricked him

sort of like you tricked schemer but

Gordon made things worse because Gordon

has what you might call a bad attitude

hey what are you looking at haven't you

ever seen anyone in a barrel before

speaking of bad attitudes guess who's

here Excuse me while I excuse

myself oh there's something about me

being me that makes me so glad that I am

me well there's something about me being

me Hey listen kids any question now

about who is fooling whom here at shiny

Time Station scha we have to tell you

something yeah what is excuse us you

schema that the arcade yes and yes and

what's it to you nothing just stay out

of the

way oh see that you see that the two of

these guys came here speci specifically

to meet me and to go to my arcade now

that is Fame here look wooho wait a

minute what is going on here sorry bub

we got orders to empty out this whole

area oh yeah from whom Mr JB King

Esquire you don't have a lease he's

taking back the

arcade sure he is here go ahead go wild

go crazy take everything you want it's a

joke it's a joke it's a joke that you

tell JB King Esquire tell JB King

Esquire though that the joke is on him

we trick you and let me tell you why you

think it's April Fool's Day but it's not

because I think it's April Fool's Day

but it's not

why what see we T today St off of

Stacy's calendar fo's days really

tomorrow you mean it's today's not

wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait

wait wait wait wait I've been do been a

big mistake fellas I've been do sorry

pal got no no please

don't listen today is tomorrow not

tomorrow's today I didn't realize that

tomorrow is today today is tomorrow

please tell you I got confused I didn't

realize what was going

on Stacy we're really sorry we let

things go too far we schemer really lose

to the arcade I don't think so I think

if we talked to Mr King and explained

what happened it'll be all right just as

long as it doesn't happen

again oh Mr Conductor what do you think

should we help schema I think so this

wasn't entirely his fault but we better

help him soon so he has time to get

ready like me ready for what for

tomorrow which is really April Fool's

Day and schema's going to have to go

through this all over again

Reach For Speed reach for the whistle go

where the rail may

run reach for the words reach for the

story Follow The Rainbow

sun to a shining Time

Station where dreams can come true

waiting there

for

you so much to see so far to travel so

much to learn to

know Friends by your side hopes to hold

on to who knows how far you

go to a shining Time

Station where dreams can come

true your own

imagination waiting there

for

you funding for this program was

provided in part by The Corporation for

Public Broadcasting and by the financial

support of viewers like

you this is PBS