[whistling]
[man with Scottish accent] In the bonny blue highlands where the bagpipes play
- lives a creature called Nessie.
- [screaming]
But it wasn't always this way.
Before her great loch had ever been seen, shy Nessie lived life on the moors of Glen Keane.
She was rumored a monster, which wasn't quite right.
For she was really a softy, with no bark and no bite.
And with a wee friend that she had, the kind loyal and true, they played hide-and-seek in a pond just for two.
- Until one gloomy, gray day,
- [rumbling]
- [squeaking]
- at a quarter past two...
...from some distant, dark land came a tartan-clad crew.
[gasping]
With no time to waste and a toot on a bugle, no expenses were spared for Tycoon MacFroogle!
This place is perfection, it's just what I need, with a few slight corrections, it'll be heaven, indeed.
[carnival music playing]
Her small protests fell on naught but deaf ears.
- Brilliant, sir, brilliant!
- Nessie's anger burned bright.
Her eyes flickered with tears.
- Then a friend scolded and told her...
- Keep a stiff upper lip.
Dinnae cry. Be a Braveheart.
Chin up, now. Pip pip.
Nessie gritted her teeth and decided to pack her whole kit and caboodle...
...and her dear friend, MacQuack.
[man] Fore!
She set off to search for a new pond they could surf.
A place with no golf clubs and no Astroturf.
[bleating]
But every pond was empty, every well was dry.
Every trough was spoke for, yet still she had to try.
[piglet squeaking]
She traveled each road and sought out every route.
- But instead of finding home,
- [screaming]
poor Ness got the boot.
[squeaking]
And the reward for her efforts, it was always this quip:
Only wee babies cry.
Chin up, now. Pip pip...
[coughing, snorting]
Nessie finally pooped out.
She'd reached the end of her rope.
Where do you go when there is no more hope?
[squeaking]
She stifled a whimper and a lump in her throat.
"Chin up, now. Pip pip," she recited by rote.
[sniffling]
[whimpering]
What began as a trickle soon turned to a shower.
Nessie cried and she cried, she cried by the hour.
She cried cups and pitchers and bottles and buckets.
She cried tubs and barrels, quintets and quintuplets.
For days Nessie cried, nay, for weeks on it went.
Till one day she sniffed...
[sniffling]
...her tears finally spent.
[squeaking]
In surprise she looked up at MacQuack there, afloat?
Dunking and a-bobbing in what looked like... a moat!
Nay! 'Twas a lake! A great loch!
Nessie gasped in delight!
Sure 'twas paradise with no golf tee in sight!
Nessie learned herself a lesson on that bright and happy day.
And it bears worth repeating, no matter what folks may say.
Dinnae be afraid to cry, it really is OK.
Sometimes it's through our tears we find a better way.
[squeaking]
As for Nessie and MacQuack, oh, they're still there, I guess, forever playing hide-and-seek, all along Loch Ness.
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Ballad of Nessie, The (2011)
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