01x03 - The Sitter

[bunniefuu]

honey almost ready I mean we can't be

late to this thing before Jamie sitter

got here honey the sitter is 15

teenagers aren't into neatness but I am

and I'm no teenager thank goodness

I prefer dealing with an old established

farm firm I like old gets you a month of

TV dinners how about mature this would

be on the couch you know that squeak

Vicki had in her neck well I fixed it

what good Vicki do it

Oh Janey I wish you wouldn't do that

why must hurt her Joanie Joanie honey a

robot can't hurt and yeah and you've got

to stop thinking of her as a real child

I'll try but it's not easy okay Vicki

I'll go to your cabinet go to my cabinet

tell me really have to keep her in that

box it's so dark in there

okay I'll try harder I'll get it

well uh yeah yeah here I'll get the door

where are you going tonight - oh we're

going to a really dull reception that my

boss is giving to announce our latest

product that United robotronic s' what

is it well it's a car door tester for

assembly lines you see it's it's a robot

arm that opens and closes a car door

3,000 times every hour

wow that must be tough from the guy who

has to get in and out of the car yeah

well he hasn't complained yet you can

here take these

I got important things to do I can do my

time problem tip mrs. Davis's daughter

suddenly took Yale and now she can't sit

for us tonight good we lucked out it's

too important you have to go I'll just

stay on the Jamie you don't have to mom

I know someone who'll sit with me for

only 75 cents an hour

me huh sorry Jamie you're only 10 years

old

yeah but being in this family ages me

fast it's just that we feel that you're

a little young to stay all by yourself

my upper lip yeah well we'll talk about

it when you've got a hair on your chest

to match it

why can't I be alone what do you think

I'm gonna do dye my hair green cook my

goldfish in the microwave those thoughts

never crossed our minds until now you

just don't trust me

oh honey it's not a matter of trust gee

I'm not a baby

besides I wouldn't be alone I've got

Vicky's

look Jamie you might be ready to stay

alone but we're just not ready to let

you that proves it

you don't trust me I think we hurt his

feelings

yeah I guess there has to be a first

time but leaving the ten-year-old alone

really worries me I mean who knows what

could happen

Jamie's pretty responsible I was talking

about Vicki actually you know honey

Jamie doesn't have to be alone I could

program Vicki to be a sitter and he

doesn't even have to know what can you

do well sure you know Anna be a real

good test for what do you say well okay

there's still one thing that bothers me

what's that I keep thinking about that

goldfish in the microwave they're just

on time Jamie get in here Vicki Oh

I want you to listen very carefully to

what I tell Jamie and make sure that he

does it got it got it

I hope we're doing the right thing Ted

honey

I'm positive we're leaving now honey

who's sitting for me well we decided you

were right you're old enough to be on

your own yeah but there are a few ground

rules first don't open the door for

anybody no matter what they say uh-huh

and you must be in bed by 9:00 o'clock

how about 10 9 how about 9:30 about 8:30

settle for 9 boy you guys negotiate like

the Russians

oh we're worse were parents and be

careful with Vicky

I don't want anything to happen to her

she's not perfected yet

I'm not perfected yet she'll be safe

with me dad oh and you must do your

homework before you watch television all

right you got all that got it got it

okay all right good night kids Oh John

you don't do that to a robot would you

just kiss her so we can get out of here

honey

all right Jamie the number of the

restaurant is right by the phone in case

you need us I don't everything's cool

everything's cool nothing everything's

cool the cats are away the mice play

well weird the mice reward them mice I

can do anything I want I can watch

television all evening you must do your

homework before you watch television no

problem I've got a ton of math but it'll

be finished in record time rap good time

yeah cuz you and your built-in computer

are gonna do it for me are you doing

with those fractions Vicky

I have two problems remaining only to

correct

oh you're doing ten math problems and

the time takes me to do one you're

fantastic and I'm a genius I have

finished Wow from now on is straight

eight all the way for the big J I punky

let your grade for this assignment at C

plus C plus that's crazy can't make

mistakes

your robot I'm programmed to be an

average ten-year-old average 10

year-olds make mistakes well forget it

I'm reprogramming you to give me an A

got it

got it I'll recompute it's better let me

know when I have an a man I've

discovered the cure for common homework

what's keeping you tips there's

something wrong at home who knows the

lines busy friends or the fire

department that's right Reggie

tell the guys I'll do their math

homework for a buck apiece and I

guarantee an A what do you mean I'm not

that smart I got brains I haven't even

used yet you now have an A in your

assignment boy sure hope there's some

way you can meet my roommate in college

Vicki out of sight Vicki let's see the

channels answer the front the way I

taught you okay okay

hello this is the Lawson residence we

can't come to the phone right now please

leave your name and number now if she's

an answering machine why didn't I think

of that who's on the phone Vicky they

didn't say was there a message

they didn't say could have been that

little snoop Harriet next door just

checking to see if we were home except

she never stops talking

she can even talk underwater ah here's a

good movie this starts at nine o'clock

you must be in bed by 9:00

you've got a lot to learn Vicky that

rule only applies when my parents are

home to enforce it you must be in bed by

9:00 what are you a broken record you

don't tell people what to do they tell

you if you are not in bed by 9:00 I will

put you to bed that's funny I just had

you intend to put the big J to bed

[Applause]

[Laughter]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

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oops didn't say I couldn't have a

chocolate milkshake so don't get on my

case Vicky there is no mention of a

chocolate milkshake in my memory bank

now this is what makes going through

adolescence bearable first you pour in

some milk now then you add the ice cream

ice cream now you pour in the chocolate

syrup chocolate syrup just a dash

[Applause]

[Laughter]

remember I showed you what Nagus

I remember be careful the last time you

crushed it they're very delicate very

delicate here you better give back

oh great the object is to drink it not

wear it here

forget the egg forget the egg I better

clean this before my folks get home okay

courts too short wait I've got an idea

I'll use your electrical socket that

should do it

okay not bad here have a drink

I'm not programmed to drink well then

I'll program you this is something not

even a robot should miss drink Vicky

this is good stuff eh say that again

what happened to your voice

I'm gonna be grounded for the rest of my

life I do not compute the word grounded

hey your voice is okay you're all fixed

there you go again why does it do that

slow-drying circuits please say they'll

all be dry when my dad gets home

I hear breathing what do you want

Harriet well since our fathers worked

together my parents went to the same car

that yours did so so I'm boy let me in

so we complain go play with your

babysitter I was talking turnkey fell

asleep figures I'll be nap Jamie well

I'm gonna cut off one of my pigtails and

tell my dad as you did it why don't you

just glue it under your chin until it's

one your Abe Lincoln if you don't let me

in

I'll stand out there till I freeze to

death and will be all your fault what do

you say that I say this will you do me a

favor and please suggest quietly I don't

wanna play with me

how about you Vicki Vicki doesn't want

to play I would like to hear Vicki speak

for self what do you say Vicki I say

this

[Applause]

what are you doing I didn't use remote

I'm dancing you love it

[Music]

[Applause]

what is going on in there

I have a feeling there's a better party

here than there wasn't the one we were

just asked Jimmy must have bolted the

door stop Vicky who is it

it's mom and dad's and he opened the

door okay

your father said don't open the door for

anybody no matter what yeah and he'll be

real pleased that you remember Jaime

open up he met anybody else but them now

let go or I'll tell him to take you

apart and put you back in your suitcase

this is so humiliating

Jaime Jaime what's taking so long let me

open the door you said not to no matter

what anybody says just order her to open

it well I can't her command mode has to

be deactivated electronically well can

you do that for not here ah no but maybe

Jaime can Jamie yeah I want you to go to

Vicky and open the flap on her back okay

dad it's all right Vicky back off I'm

not gonna open the door

turn around

okay dad it's open all right there's a

red button there do you see it I see it

okay press it and Vicki's voice command

circuits will be cleared when you hear

the tone the time will be nine o clock

yeah later

I've got to press the red button you

must be in bed by 9:00 Vicki Janey

what's happening digit deactivate Vicki

Oh Jamie Jamie doing something mister

electronics genius he's freezing out

here you know maybe all those years of

sneaking into sorority houses in college

weren't wasted Bingu it's open why is it

open what have I told you about keeping

the windows locked you want us to get

robbed no I want us to get inside Oh

Oh Mary Lou Retton I'm not

will I get my hands on your red button

all right what seems to be the problem

here am I glad to see you is everything

all right

no you said you trusted me instead you

left me with the Incredible Hulk for a

sitter release Vicki well sorry Jamie I

guess we were just being overly cautious

okay Vicki get in your cabinet wait wait

wait wait wait say that again what's

wrong with your voice Jamie gave her a

taste of my chocolate milkshake how

could you do such a dumb thing and

besides you know how we feel about you

having those sweets don't be too angry

yeah look on the bright side robots

can't get cavities look Jamie if you

want our trust you're just gonna have to

earn it huh because Trust works both

ways now is there anything else you

taught Vicki tonight that I should know

about like did she help you with your

homework no good she did it all by

herself

see this way I'll get smarter faster

yeah we can wait all right no more using

Vicki for your homework now did she

learn anything else from you tonight

[Music]

well what's that thing

[Music]

[Applause]

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[Applause]

[Music]

lovely and a child she's a miracle and I

grant you sight she's the snow

[Music]

you