01x14 - The Burrito Story

[bunniefuu]

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that's it now what are we here hi hi any

mail no kiss honey hi Becky

no kiss you don't kiss a robot it

couldn't hurt beats me

I guess she's picking up stuff from the

television and throw away papers and

people who come to the door who came to

the door and said kiss me a good nerd

thank you oh my god a letter from my

friend Stephanie from New York she sends

her regards no how is Stephanie -

struggling copywriter she just struggled

her way to vice-president of the company

really she must have been struggling

with the boss well she's come a long way

baby

sometimes I wonder how I would have done

if I'd chosen a career and stead of just

being an ordinary housewife ordinary

housewife do I detect a little Envy

there I know that some women think that

being a housewife is the pits it's

really natural that I wonder about what

I missed well honey if you're really

serious about a job it's not too late

you know I really don't think so

no you're gonna have mine well come on

honey I mean you're an accredited

teacher you can always try that I'd

rather have a job where I don't get beat

up you know just yesterday the owner of

that chic boutique on Oak Avenue asked

me if I'd be interested in a job there

she said that I'd be a perfect sales

lady selling dresses well you would be

if you're as good at selling as you are

buying it will give me a chance to be

creative and mix with the public and

even earn a little extra money well

honey go ahead go for it I wouldn't mind

yeah

but it would run the house and take care

of the cooking and cleaning

Oh how quickly they forget did you

forget we just happened to have

the best housekeeper chief cook and

bottle washer around Vicki she's

probably half programmed already about

household chores from watching

television commercials right Vicki right

just a little glob of glitter and I can

beat the heck out of waxy yellow buildup

you see what I mean okay Vicki for

starters you can go in the kitchen and

set the table for dinner okay I'm just

an ordinary housewife had you really

wouldn't mind if I took that job oh

honey what makes you happy makes me

happy

just don't come home too tired to make

me happy you animal boy you guys don't

even wait till it's my bedtime anymore

yeah you should see this great fight the

kid across the street just got mag

wheels 10 speed digital speedometer the

answer is No do you at least wait till I

ask the question cami what's wrong with

your own bike it's old so is your father

but we still use him dad I'll make you a

deal that'll save you a lot of money oh

yeah and what might that be you buy me

that bike now you don't have to buy me a

car later I'll tell you something

that'll save me even more money earn it

yourself get a job like your mother's

doing mom's getting a job why didn't you

tell me things were this tough I'm

getting a job with the Challenger but

not for the money I'd better call the

boutique and tell them that I'm

interested if mom's gonna be working

who's gonna fix our meals well I'm gonna

program Vickie to do that you don't mind

do you mind I'm relieved one horrible

minute I fight me you do the cooking

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Joannie honey why don't you sit down and

eat a regular breakfast I'm too nervous

about my first day on the job besides I

hate you two on your way

Vicky is programmed to do that can I

have some toast

Vicky some toast please okay on the

double

I'm the double you know dad I was

thinking about what you said about me

making some money and as long as I'm at

it why fool around

go for the gold how do you get rich well

a couple of ways Jaimie

the first is you work hard all your life

and save your money I'll take the other

way will you marry a rich girl whose

father worked hard all his life and

saved all his money Oh

temp you're gonna drop me off at the

boutique we gotta get going oh yeah

right oh I almost forgot about dinner

I'd scan your cookbooks and can prepare

anything upset by them to page 44 the

words are covered with gravy stains well

Jamie I've got an account at the market

and you can charge it if Vicki needs

anything okay come on here we gotta go

Jamie we're home good evening

whoa why don't you look cute

I'm helping Vicki with dinner it's

almost ready

well I known I'd be waited on like this

I'd gone to work years ago how'd your

first day go at the boutique ooh I did

pretty good in the first hour I sold

myself two dresses you see Jamie if your

mother works long enough we'll be

bankrupt I invited my friend Reggie over

to eat with us tonight we're doing some

homework together is that okay sure but

be careful with Vicki we don't want him

to start getting suspicious about it

right

don't worry oh you can come right in

dinner's ready and what fabulous dish is

Vicki concocted Oh something real

special oh no no no no let me guess two

clams Casino

perhaps whoa thanks for having me over

for dinner tonight may I help her dorm

with it yeah oh thank you well I've got

to admit that was the best burrito I've

ever tasted

hey anyone want seconds thirds Vicki

sort of made a few extra burritos Oh how

many 62

[Laughter]

maybe tomorrow and latter tomorrow why

don't you two go relax I'll clean up

with Vicki and Reggie sounds good to me

no I could get used to this treatment

very easily

come my dear and tell me about ladies

trying to stuff 160 pounds of chubby

into a 90 pound jumpsuit we better get

these dishes done so we can do our

homework

forget the we Vickie clear the table and

wash the dishes put everything in the

thing put everything in this thing boy

you should push your sister around now

she doesn't mind detergent turns her on

maybe we better help her so there be

some dishes not to wash yeah I guess

you're right

where he gonna do it all those leftover

burritos well I guess I could give them

to the kids at school at lunch tomorrow

yeah hey wait a minute why give away

anything not good what do you mean I

think he means he's going to eat 62

burritos for lunch himself man you're

gonna take off like a hot air balloon

I'm not gonna I'm gonna sell him maybe

this is a way to get rich you know like

the colonel and his chicken and Ronald

and his Big Mac I'll be burrito king

yeah I'll be Prince partners yeah I'll

get 75% and you get 25 kind of partners

that nasty big one

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[Laughter]

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[Applause]

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good afternoon say you look pretty cute

today little mama you're pretty cute

yourself big papa

don't get your hopes up Reggie she heard

that on the Bill Cosby Show you got a

lot of housework to do Vicki why don't

you go clean the kitchen okay okay being

just an ordinary housewife is the pits

man I still can't believe how fast me so

all those burritos are school it's

because we're smart and only charged a

dime

they couldn't resist the price at this

rate we'll be rich in no time we won't

even have to go through puberty we can

hire someone to do it for us

Oh No hi guys what do you want Harriet I

happen to be looking out my window not

happen can you come home boy living next

to her is like living next to the CIA

living next to you is like living next

to an N e are dia

I only Q over because the kids at school

are talking about your burritos I'd like

to buy one here's my dime

Thanks we all you want we're all out

faster you'll be out if you don't give

me that dime back okay okay don't get

your pigtails in enough w*r there you

will have more burritos tomorrow

well besides buying one I've got a

proposition for you Jamie no way not if

you were the last woman on earth look

I'm talking business

rym face I can help you sell this fetus

to my class at school that is my

Commission's right that's not a bad idea

Jamie we could double the sales yeah

okay Harriet I'll give you a penny a

burrito

a penny yeah why are you deep state no

Harry I'll take it

[Music]

see you mister big bats folks are sure

gonna be proud about Jamie well I'm not

gonna tell mine just yet

not till I can say mom dad you're

working days are over your carefree old

day just starting already

thank God do the same yeah we can do all

the cooking after school and before my

parents get home from work good thinking

boy we've got a real good business going

here

a real big business and I've got the

perfect name for it we'll call it IBM

somebody thought of that first not this

IBM R stands for international burrito

maker

[Applause]

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all this money in just one week I don't

know what to do with it you want my

advice

money market work you're really smart

tax-free municipal bond I was sticking

more along the lines of leather jacket

with studs on the shoulders Oh get this

Reggie what's for dinner tonight Vicky

chocolate chip pizza oh I forgot to tell

you I gave the boss at Joe's diner one

of our burritos he liked it so much he

gave us a big order Joe's diner that's

big time yeah the only problem is Joe

needs them by tomorrow which means we'll

have to do the cooking after my parents

go to sleep tonight but when will we

sleep in school hi mom hi dad

hi mr. mrs. Dawson nice talking to you

again reg is it okay if Reggie spends

the night against night more homework

you sure getting a lot of that lately

how come well I guess I'm just one of

those special kids who's hooked on

education

well what are we having for dinner

tonight huh trust me kid before I forget

I don't get my paycheck until Monday

could you let me have a few dollars till

then no sure

oh don't don't bother dad I can let you

have a few best mom have at you dad a

little short where'd you get all that

money well you said I should earn money

if I wanted things so I am

how are you earning it how well just

sort of doing my thing and just what

exactly is your thing well if I told you

then you'd be rich instead of me kids

all heart at this rate we'll never get

anywhere what we need is a system Vicky

lay out some tortillas convincing

tortilla that Reggie filmer beans

commencing filling with beans with me

now full check check check this is

wonderful

we've got an assembly line like with

cars yeah eat your heart out Lee Iacocca

could that be at this hour Oh what are

you doing here Harriet it's one o'clock

in the morning I smelled your burritos

and I got hungry so I just followed my

nose well turn it around and follow it

back home that's not a very nice way to

treat your star salesperson I almost

sold as many burritos as I ate as long

as she's here let her help we'll go

faster that's correct with three workers

we make three burritos every 12 seconds

with four workers we could make for

burritos every 12 seconds

therefore we should employ one more

worker if they didn't enter the country

illegally don't ever do that when I have

one of these in my did you know you

can't hit anything with one iron

oh I told you I heard a noise

there's definitely somebody in the

kitchen yeah and I smell something too

could be if it is he's making burritos

okay freeze uh-oh

where are you doing trouble oh we have

two more workers available just what do

you kids think that you're doing yes

just what you kids think you're doing

we're making food for the needy people

many people all over the world these are

for the needy people at Joe's diner

Joe's diner pictures his dad we went

into the burrito business to make a lot

of money cleaning up would the other IBM

international burrito makers why are you

doing it in the middle of the night I

just didn't want you guys to know about

it till I was filthy rich you're doing

real good with a filthy part

saying a lot of burritos yeah but they

have to make a hundred them tonight for

Joe's diner a hundred for a hundred it's

a sixty cents apiece it's a lot of money

I'm impressed you're impressed fifty

cents

too much he only charges only a dime by

the way who's paying for all this stuff

I just charged it at the market like you

said mom no no no I just had a horrible

horrible thought haha horrible thought

confirmed Jamie how much have you taken

in since you started this conglomerate

of yours Oh about $43 honey Yarra

Bill at the market is a hundred and

eighty dollars what it's only cost you

one hundred and thirty seven dollars to

make you send the burrito King there

goes my allowance for the next 50 years

and your social security - since I've

been working I've made about this much

in commissions I guess we can throw that

in the pot when I wait a minute honey I

think I've got a better way to get us

even how dad well since we've already

been charged for all this stuff let's

not make a hundred burritos tonight

let's make two hundred can we raise the

price

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she's my small wonder lovely and bright

and soft where's she's a small one

a childlike of you girls she's a miracle

and I grant you she change you every

sight she's that small

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