02x21 - Wally the Wimp

[bunniefuu]

wow this is going to be the greatest

wrestling match ever there he is getting

into the ring Vicki Jesse The Body

Ventura haing from San Diego California

weighing in at 247 lbs Jesse The Body

[Music]

Ventura hi guys what are you watching

wrestling dad Jesse The Body ventur

versus bear claw Billy the k*ller oh

yeah this I got to

see the referee's explaining the rules

to

him oh no Jesse just threw the referee

out of the

ring me again

referee hey g*ng I've got a great idea

for dinner why don't we pack a

look he's going to do his wham bam body

slam wham bam

slam stick a fork in him he's

done Ted I thought would you mind making

some more popcorn please oh and how

about some cold drinks huh oh and don't

forget to put ice in the glasses would

you like me to pour it down your throat

for you

thanks Ted you haven't heard a word I

said yes I have what you you

say honey do this honey do that I'm

tired of being taken for granted around

here if you want something to eat and

drink you can get it

yourself Ted you're

impossible Ted you're

impossible oh honey would you make me

some coffee and maybe a piece of toast

it's honey do this honey do that I'm

tired of being taken for granted around

here okay wise guy just go see who's at

the

door hi there little girl is your mother

home

yes Vicki who's at the door H from San

Diego California waging at

247b Jessie The Body

V I see your little girls a wrestling

fan uh yes uh Vicki would you go and put

away the

groceries can I help you uh by any

chance is your name Joan Anderson

well it was before I got married I knew

it was you Joanie I saw you at the

shopping mall while I was signing

autographs but you left so fast all I

could do was follow you home you're as

pretty as ever well thank you what do I

know

you here's a

hint raah ra ra s boom ba SC Wally

Bulldog Bow Wow Wow

that's one of my old College

cheers here's another hint I was 92 lbs

of tall thin quivering cowardly

flesh oh one more

hint you used to give me mercy

dates oh

no Wally

grandle all 92 quivering pounds of me

I'm surprised you didn't recognize

me Wally you've

grown please come on in

thanks oh Wally what a

surprise but what have you got to do

with Jesse The Body Ventura that's me

too I changed my name when I became a

professional wrestler I mean who'd pay

money to see bear claw Billy the k*ller

wrestle Wally the

wimp oh I just can't get over how you've

changed you've

G in self-defense I took up bodybuilding

but please sit on down thanks pull up a

couch how did all this happen I got

tired of all the guys in college playing

practical jokes on me cuz I was such a

skinny wimp I can understand that there

was one guy in particular who wouldn't

let up who was that oh you probably

wouldn't even remember the guy a jerk

named Ted

Lawson Lawson Lawson yeah I remember him

have you been in touch with Lawson since

College close touch I married the jerk

now that's what I call a mercy

date you should start to prepare dinner

The Jerk will be home at 6

thank you Vicki well Joanie it's been

great seeing you but I got to run now oh

it's great seeing you too Wally

Jesse say uh how would you like to come

over for dinner tonight as if you're not

too busy tying somebody in a

knot I'd love

to but under one condition what's that

don't tell Ted how much I've changed I

want to see his reaction when I show up

tonight

oh so do

I oh so do

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

I he anything

interesting a guest coming for dinner a

guest who is it shh I'm trying to find

out

sorry um I'm just practicing when I grow

up I'm going to be a Hollywood gossip

columnist well that's okay haret you

know though you can hear a lot better if

you use a stethoscope you know those

things the doctors use to listen with oh

you're right I'll gab me Mothers

bye hi hi honey the jerk is

home we're having a guest for dinner a a

surprise guest surprise M well give me a

hint okay raw ra ra sis boom SC Wally

Bulldog Bow Wow

Wow College somebody from college all

right give me another hint okay his

initials are Wally crle Wall-E

Crandle oh no WALL-E the

wimp all 9 need2 quivering pounds of him

where do you see this guy Jamie he's so

skinny he could walk through a

harp well I hope you won't go picking on

him like you used to well come on honey

Wally loved it I mean it made him feel

like one of the guys besides they were

only harmless little pranks you call

running his underwear up the flag pole

harmless

what's so bad about that Wally was still

in

them yeah that was so funny then Jamie

there was the old duck prank you take a

duck a roll of toilet paper and a

bucket darling if I were you I wouldn't

go playing any of those harmless pranks

on him tonight Joanie Joanie Joanie come

on I mean I have outgrown all that kid

stuff you know what it'd be fun though

why don't we get out the old College

yearbooks and we can browse through them

okay oh a good

[Music]

idea Vicki come on uh help me find

him forget the yearbooks when Wally the

wimp gets here you and I are going to

have a little fun with

[Music]

him now remember Vicki our harmless

pranks won't work on Wally without the

key words they're in my memory MAA okay

what's the first key word

Shake what's the second keyword whipped

cream perfect and I got the old duck

prank all set up I haven't had this much

fun since I bought my first exploding

cigar that's Wally the

wimp let the games begin

T the door oh yeah honey I'll get

it he's so skinny he could come right

through the

keyhole H you

Ted w w w w w

w Wally who

else he said you were so skinny you

could come right through the

[Laughter]

king these are for you Joan oh Jesse how

thoughtful Ted only buys flowers for

funerals mom the oven timer just went

off oh wow you're Jesse The Body

Ventura we saw you on

TV

right he's also Wally Crandle at oh

Jesse this is our son Jamie hia Jamie

put her

there I actually shook hands with Jesse

The Body

Ventura and lived to tell about

it now and you remember Vicki sure who

could forget such a pretty little girl

shake sweetheart Shake no no

Dad how could you Vicki how could

you you uh care for anything else Jesse

uh more

chicken no thanks two chickens were

plenty that was one of the best meals I

ever ate Joanie what a lovely compliment

how nice to be

appreciated you know Joanie you got just

about everything lovely

home two great

kids two great

[Laughter]

kids

uhoh would you excuse

me serves you right for snooping Harriet

oh I just wanted to meet Jesse The Body

Ventura what a

St hi you Harriet home Mr Ventura or can

I call you body sure would you send me

an autograph picture you got

it Harriet would you like it if I had a

body like Jesse's no your head would be

too small

cute

kid dessert is ready in the living room

oh thanks Vicki now shall we come on

Jess bring the coffee dear I'll keep the

wimp

company

wimp I hope you like fattening desserts

Jesse I know you athletes in your

training mom the more he weighs the

better it helps when he sits on his

opponent's

[Music]

head thanks Vicki load me up with

whipped cream whipped cream no wait

no let the games

begin geez yes I I I can't imagine what

what got into her

I can Jamie you said you wanted to learn

a few wrestling holds yeah you bet

well all we need is a

volunteer well lookie

here we found

one boy you're sure Brave dad now first

we learn the basics

Jamie this hold is called a side

headlock if it's applied right sometimes

the eyeballs

pop I think you're doing it

right from here if we let the arm slip

under the chin and around the

neck like this

that's a choke

hoold isn't that

ill*gal only if he

dies Jesse I think it's close to

becoming

ill*gal the nice thing about this hold

is that it's real easy to go into a

flying

may stick a forking him he's

done T are you all right oh honey I so

never better you

know I think that's enough wrestling for

tonight uh Jamie why don't you help me

clear the kitchen table and Jess and

your dad can catch up in Old Times

okay you sure you're all right

Ted oh yeah yeah yeah just I'm fine uh

be great as soon as I can get my head to

point in the same direction as my

feet good thing I didn't use my wham bam

body slam

you should see how that's done I've seen

how that's

done

[Music]

slam what happened Jesse are you all

right no no I'm not all right I've just

been Wham bammed and slammed by an

11-year-old

girl well actually she's almost

12 oh man if it got out that a little

girl threw me like that I'd be laughed

out of wrestling well we'll let it be

our little secret but I know it what am

I going to do about my confidence I feel

like I'm back being WALL-E the wimp

Jessie Jesse come on it's it's not that

bad it's the worst thing that's ever

happened to me I'm through Jesse wait a

minute are you serious my career is over

I couldn't get a match against PeeWee

Herman

Jesse Jesse

listen I'm going to tell you something

that that nobody except my family knows

nobody in the world knows this except

us

Vicki is not an ordinary

girl oh thanks for sharing that

D no what I mean Jesse Vicki is an

experimental VI a voice input child

identic it promise you'll never repeat

that repeat it I couldn't even say

it Jesse what I mean is Vicki is a

robot robot another prank eh no no no

Jess here look I'll prove it to

you look see this is her control panel

that's incredible Jesse I invented her

I'm trying to keep her a secret until I

can get her perfected the reason the

reason she could throw you like that

Jesse she has the strength of a hundred

men and Vicki would you sit down

please she's

fantastic and you let me in on your

secret just to restore my

confidence what a

friend well Jess I I guess I owe you for

all those cornball pranks I pulled on

you in the past no Ted I owe you I feel

bad I humiliate ated you in front of

your family oh come on Jess I mean I had

it coming right no I got to make it up

to you no Jesse you don't have to I mean

it's really not necessary you doing

Jesse Jesse I could shake hands or

something

Jess help help let me go Ted let me go

get off me I'm trying Jess Uncle I quit

I've had enough don't hurt me okay I won

what's going

on one two

three the winner dead gball

Lon

wow

well I hate to lose and run but I got a

big match tomorrow night I better get

some shy sure hey Jess if you need any

help in your corner I'd be more than

happy to give you some pointers

huh don't push it corn

[Applause]

well I got to be going I had a great

time tonight thanks Ted you take care of

Joanie she's one of a kind yeah Jess you

don't have to tell me that byebye bye

guess come

again

honey I was a jerk about Wally and I've

been a jerk about you I promise never to

take you for granted again

thanks

jerk you must be worn out from all that

wrestling you why don't you go get ready

for bed and we'll clean up

here you better not go into the bathroom

well why not forgot about the other

prank what other

[Music]

prank that prank

what the heck is All That the old Z

prank joh joonie go go

[Laughter]

[Applause]

she's a

small

Wonder Lely and bright and soft CS she's

a

small

Wonder a child unlike other girls she's

a miracle and I grant you she'll enchant

you

at her sight she's a

small Wonder brings love and laughter

everywhere

[Music]