04x02 - Double Dates

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

[Applause]

what was it about ladies this is your

man take you for granted

does he come home grab a beer and plop

down in front of the TV baby it's time

to put this zip back into your

relationship with a complete makeover

it's time to create a new you hey we

have any cold beer don't know much TV

for a while cable sports channel all you

do is watch TV well sure honey I think

they got sports from all over the world

I can watch boxing from Brazil soccer

from Spain rugby from Romanians I can

watch guys each other on five

continents you let's boogie and get down

desire I'd really like to do that but

tonight it's wrestling from France its

Jacque Napoleon versus Pierre Hitler

and winner winner gets Europe you know

something Vicky maybe you're right maybe

it is time for new me the old one isn't

doing too good mom oh my god sh**t some

baskets before dinner hey not so fast

magic he's just your history assignment

yet sure almost nearly no he's still

working on the title page

Jamie tomorrow's Friday and it's due and

final start on Monday you're not doing

too well in history don't worry about it

mom

first I'll sing some baskets then I'll

synch the Spanish Armada

no first you'll take out the trash but I

try and pry your father away from the TV

set the trash is right here magic

cuddlebuns I just come over to remind

you that Saturday night is fly night

what fly night whether it's the last big

day right before finals start Monday

first to fly then you die I'm available

yeah since you learn to speak sorry

Harriet I'm gonna ask Debbie Barnhill

Debbie Barnhill but she got that I

haven't got actual measurement I just

can't get anywhere with him it's like

he's a shiny new white wall I'm a mud

puddle I'd have a better chance if I was

someone else then maybe it's time to

create undo you miss Dora finest

Pittsburgh landed her man by getting a

complete makeover what any woman can

become a glamorous heartthrob with a few

simple makeup tricks where'd you hear

that

on TV I know all the tricks you do I do

me huh okay let's do it Vicki what's the

first thing I'm going to need actual

measurements

[Music]

now remember Vicky you don't want Jamie

to know who I am so I'm not hearing it

I'm Tallulah from out of town yes carry

it you're not Harriet right do it like

we rehearsed

let's find Janie and get him past me out

for Friday night

[Applause]

hi gorgeous

who are you and where have you been all

my life

she's Tallulah and she's been out of

town I'm Eric and you're something else

[Music]

consider and move it to y'all CD she all

from a very rich family

she also rich for swimming pools like

Michigan

she also rich Arabs borrow oil from her

[Music]

yeah we got this thing selling I called

my night you got a date you do now I got

a break a heart you said you wanted a

date with Jamie a clunk

honey the hand is worth two in the bush

all dirty knees

Vickey introduced me to your beautiful

friends this is my brother Jamie this is

beautiful Tallulah from out of town

your puppy will be glad to

so Tallulah how'd you like to go out

with me Saturday night you Yankee Doodle

Diane to you

great I'll pick you up at 6:30 where do

you live well not you maybe we can wait

employees well sure I know this great

Chinese restaurant wong-fat it's where

everybody goes well I'll see y'all there

6:30

to kiss that you dumb hushpuppy

[Music]

she's a knockout

and rich - she is so rich her piggy bank

has a drive-up window imagine me like

there's like broke our date supply night

yeah

well Jamie I'd like to sided like let

you take me out sly night by night

couldn't we make it like tonight instead

Jamie but this is the once and lifetime

offer like don't blow it

please please I'm begging you is like a

lot of practice

swell

all right I finally get a date with two

gorgeous women just for the same night I

really messed up this time

[Music]

come on go for it get the first down

hello there handsome what are you

talking out of bounds that class was

complete come on dare refuse these happy

big boy do not let them block the punt

do not let them nice dress honey

[Applause]

our plane to your train

yeah sure honey y'all listen you got

anything a bunch I'm gonna watch the

game

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[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Laughter]

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I've decided I'm gonna keep my date

tonight with both Tallulah and Debbie

two dates lots of luck it should be a

snap

Harriette if you came over here to bug

me about a date tonight I'm booked

he's overbooked talked to Vicki and I

already have a date angel cake oh yeah

who's the nerd you'd know him

Vicki I've made a decision

the other me Tallulah it's gonna keep

both states tonight with Eric and Janie

I'm getting my first headache after all

if you have a flat tire it's always good

to have a spare key he's my first choice

now here's my plan

all these guys you is to leave the two

you'll go out tonight with Eric he'll

think it's me and then I'll be able to

go out with Jamie understand I

understand I go out with Eric despair

and you go out with Jamie the flat

come on honey come on yeah I said I was

sorry about yesterday yeah you should be

come on can't we call it even I mean you

got an apology and I got a broken back

from sleeping on the sofa

come on honey how about a nice little

romantic dinner little cold champagne

and a red hot uncle man oh no you're not

going anywhere tonight young man what do

you mean mom I mean I talked to your

history teacher today and she told me

that your term paper was atrocious file

start on Monday and you're staying home

and studying but my very made plans

you'll just have to cancel them dad talk

to her reason with our hero to your son

can't help you pal I'm skating on thin

ice myself

I asked for leadership and he gives me

Ice Capades

[Music]

believe it now Jamie I'm sorry you had

to cancel your date tonight honey but

your grades are much more important oh

that's okay mom I understand I won't lay

a guilt trip on you well let's go mama

your suburban stallion weights no

horsing around stallion well that's

enough studying for one night Vicky I

got two gorgeous women to keep happy I'm

out of here

Vicky it's mom and dad call later

say I'm too busy studying to come to the

phone got it got it see ya see ya

hi I saw everybody leave are you ready

Vicki I'm ready remember tonight we're

both Tallulah I've got all the stuff at

my house to dress a swim come on

[Music]

well this is it

lungs back Chinese food like Daddy with

a chopstick good evening and welcome to

Wong fat your menus it just moves from

China and Boyer and swings tired

excuse me Debbie I have to wash my hands

it's ride them good I hate my hands

excuse me I'm supposed to meet someone

here

[Music]

good evening and welcome

how would I know you I have a real

common face boy we sure are hungry

[Music]

it's just flora from China and boy are

its wings tired

the Chinese figures just take your foot

higher but we get out yeah me too

excuse me I have to wash my hands my

life is now complete now then have you

you again corsets me me I've been me

since I was born

let me take a wild guess ciao man the

table or excuse me miss I'm so sorry but

there's a mix-up this booth is reserved

for some regular customers would you

move to another booth please

[Music]

gracias

how to cite food everybody comes here

girlie blastin help help

Linea could you give us a boost I'd

better call my folks they like

[Music]

you know they all do look alive

oh boy these hands are sure getting

selfie again excuse me

like what I use some kind of water

weirdo mr. and mrs. Chrome in your booth

is ready for you miss I told you this

booth is reserved you'll have to move

please this way

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[Applause]

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everywhere I look excuse me Debbie a

more time I'm wash my hands of you oh no

I have to call my folks see there's some

great hand soap in the restrooms

I was gonna see if I should bring some

home in a doggie bag oh there's an empty

table hon I thought you'd get a kick out

of coming to Wong fats I mean we haven't

been here since we were dating

wonderful idea I used to love it here

and I thought it'd be real nice to spend

an evening alone without the kids

[Music]

why great gum under here

[Laughter]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Applause]

with these people

[Applause]

okay where were you doing with my date

here day she's my date

well you're both from heck McGrath by

him

why you froak a date you sleazeball

[Music]

there's two Tallulah's excuse me you

mind if a couple of curious parents get

into this Jamie what are you doing here

[Music]

alright Jamie start explaining dad would

you believe a long complicated crazy

explanation that I don't understand

myself and would and saw your

intelligence and make me look ridiculous

of course not

good see in the morning