04x08 - Togetherness

[bunniefuu]

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okay kids the baskets all packed or it

mind if I play booth hey you going on a

picnic boy that sounds like fun

see you later have a good time hey hold

it right there Joker fishing I mean you

promised to take us on a picnic today

remember Saturday Johnny

today is the big club championship I

couldn't have planned a picnic what do

you think I am stupid you're the one who

fishes with a golf club

oh yeah this tournament only happens

once a year

the guys are counting on me it's very

important please please

I promise the next thing the family

wants to do together I'll do it no

matter what it is

I promise please promise I promise so

what do you think honey yeah you think

the trophy will be noticed up here or

hey maybe I should put it over that

mantel in the living around life why

don't you just hang it on the front door

as a knocker please please no applause I

knew I'd be discovered sooner or later

my guess is sooner good see you later

it's letter this morning from the TV

show beat thy neighbor do you want my

family to try out for the show hey I was

watching that this morning that's that

funny show where the neighbors compete

against each other in crazy contests

yeah to see which families could make

the biggest fools of themselves right my

family's perfect for it

here's the mail just one letters with

you Chaco Canyon Beach programs they

tell you where to send a postcard if you

want to be contestants so I sent one man

and they chose us I bet it'll be fun fun

you call one family dressing up like ice

cream cones and the other family trying

to lick them clean fun will I call it

degrading family loses all dignity and

self-respect I don't believe this what

is it it says here we've been invited to

try out for beat thy neighbor alright

who submitted our name I didn't do it I

didn't do it I did it hey why'd you do

it

man on TV descended a postcard so I did

well no way are we gonna try out for

that show dad you promised what what did

I promise oh that promise well I thought

you been like taking in a ball game not

swimming in chicken fat come on you guys

only a complete imbecile but go on beat

thy neighbor I rest my case

sorry you're looking well for you nice

trophy where'd you buy it we are going

to be big TV stars but don't worry

sweetheart bubby will still keep in

touch with the riffraff oh I wish there

was time for Calvin to design some

really stunning outfits for our

interviews Calvin a Calvin Klein we're

very close you know I was responsible

for his huge success in jeans oh yes

yes I said to him I said Calvin put the

name on the behind not on the fly since

the interviews tomorrow I suppose we'll

just have to buy something uh half the

rack invited to try out for beat dye

neighbor - I'm not going to subject my

family to all that embarrassment and

ridicule the grand prize is $50,000

still if it's done tastefully don't

worry sweetheart

whoopee no still keep in touch with the

riffraff

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Thank You Shanna

now remember act up pipi Brice lots of

personality just like the host of the

show guides wire Brandon I don't have to

act that's the way I am naturally

effervescent hi brindle's I'm guide wire

sorry I'm late g*ng but you know what

somebody stole my brand-new car but of

course it was insured

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[Applause]

no I like your sincerity yes I see

you're exactly the kind of people I want

on my TV show not just there to make the

money buddy give away money we had no

idea you wouldn't believe the hard luck

stories I get from people pretending to

be down and out just to come on my shore

to make a buck

that's disgusting well I've already

fixed one of the two families to be on

the show and that's that's the Gump's

and I would really like that other

family to be however I still have to

interview one more family from your

neighborhood and that's the Lawson's

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you can't k*ll right away so you stay by

your phone because you may get a chance

to daddy well don't just sit there

hotshot what are we going to do about

mr. and mrs. white bread and their two

little crumbs leave it to me have you

ever no need to be able to loss for

something underhanded

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hi Harriet hi Vicki we just got back

from her interview for the TV show and

it looks like we're gonna be on it

when's your interview at 2 o'clock this

afternoon

well coffee Ashley Vicki I know a way

you can get on the show for sure how see

what you're looking for are poor

unfortunate families who are broke and

down on their luck and it's a turd the

story the better

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what'd she want she said they had their

interview and it looks like they're

going to be on the TV show I wonder how

those clowns got picked well

confidentially Harriet said they're

looking for poor unfortunate families

who are broke and down on their luck oh

and the fatter the story the better sad

are the better huh you know what Vicki I

got an idea

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[Laughter]

hi mr. Dwyer were the Lawson's oh hi

there forgive me for staring yeah well

let's please sit down thank you

can I get you something

coffee oh thank you what would you like

in it a lamb chop you poor people when

was the last time you ate April

well mr. Dwyer we'd really like to be on

your show but we need the money for the

operation who needs an operation

operation yes the poor children need

money for their dental work

I need braces for my teeth I need teeth

okay I've heard enough you are on the

show I'm dumping the gunk family and I'm

putting you on you are certainly much

more deserving no wait oh you're right

honey mr. Dwyer listen we're just not as

bad off as we seen but courage it but

that gutsy family yeah no no no no no

take no for an answer

let me level with you folks as I told

the other families gonna be on the show

the brindle's I usually hate this kind

of hard luck story what you told the

brindle's that what I'm gonna make an

exception this is a saddest story I've

ever heard you you people are pathetic I

haven't been this move since our ratings

dropped

well in that case saya I think we'd love

to be on your show mr. Dwyer and beat

the heck out of the brindle's right

Lawson's right an eye for an eye and

anything for it too

hi out there a TV land it's time once

again to

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[Applause]

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and welcome to the show that brings

neighbors together in kooky competition

and competing today are two fun-filled

families just ready to wipe each other

out

hi brindle's okay now you all know the

rules we fight three games now bury them

up stir berries in these delicious fruit

fries our poker chips each worth twenty

dollars and all you have to do is eat

your way to the chips you think I've

died and gone to heaven all right

the family to have the most chips after

30 seconds is gonna win contest number

one and because the Lawson's outnumber

the brindle's we're gonna ask Vicky to

be our official face cleaner for both

families you know what to do Vicky I

know what to do oh I almost forgot

no hands

all right families get ready get set go

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[Applause]

there's the buzzer hold it that's it no

more competition and let's see how well

the brindle's did brindle's have five

nice going all right yeah and Lawsons

how'd you do we have five guy

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

all right congratulations to both teams

and now Vicki let's clean our families

up

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and now it's time for contest number two

curtains please

[Music]

and once again since the losses have an

extra player we're going to ask Vicki

and Jamie to play as one come on out

kids

all right let's begin our game now the

object is to take the ball Thank You

Shan I take the ball yeah we are and

pass it to the person next to you okay

the person next to you passing it to the

person at the end of the line the person

at the end of the line takes the ball

and puts it in the basket and that is

simple right so I forgot no hands and

one little thing instead of tennis ba*ls

we're going to use these big squishy

tomato

[Applause]

everybody said to begin the family with

the most potatoes the tomatoes in the

basket wins this round ready get set go

[Applause]

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pull it no more come on yes sir brother

family's back

[Applause]

let's check and see how the family's

dead and it looks like the brindle's

have four four Tomatoes good how's the

losses due Shannon is that wonderful

beauty and brains do the breed knows win

contest number two

we'll be back with the deciding game

right after this commercial message the

game of the three please

all right thank you and welcome back to

the third and deciding contest on beat

thy neighbor curtains please

and now it's time to go flopping for

silver stashed in this slime our silver

tokens just like this one and the family

that finds the most tokens is going to

be our champion and win a fun-filled

vacation to rockapulco

all right families into the slime

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[Applause]

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to hold onto shoes let the game begin

yep

[Applause]

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those are the champions

[Applause]

the brindle isn't have a decision to

make do you wanna keep your vacation

trip 200 or give it back for a chance at

our $50,000 grand prize you have 10

seconds to decide

started through the trip to Acapulco go

over $50,000 okay

now in one of these chickens is a check

for $50,000 ha ha

all you have to do is decide is it in

chicken number one one chicken number

two or chicken number three you have 10

seconds

[Applause]

check it number one see inside chicken

number one chicken number three here's

the check for $50,000

[Applause]

looks like the yolks on you

and losses I don't want you to be too

disappointed because here a beat I

neighbor if the champions give up their

trip it goes to the other family

[Applause]

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