04x14 - Riches to Rags

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

I see you're enjoying the chemistry set

that grandpa sent ya yeah it's great dad

it has a hundred different chemicals and

these safety goggles yeah we'll be

careful with that stuff the kitchen

doesn't need a sunroof it's just me

looking for love and all in the wrong

place I think it's over there Harriette

what are you making some exotic new

perfume for me no Harriet its freckle

remover

you better stand back if you get any on

you you might disappear

what are you doing Ricky I'm mixing some

yellow gunk and some blue gunk and 11

other kinds of gunk

what does that make green done no Vicky

give me an old towel from under the sink

Hey what a mess yeah

Wow look at that how did it get so clean

I don't know I just put water on it and

that stuff you wiped up I wonder if it

cleans other things that well yeah yeah

like a super laundry detergent right

Vicki right no more

ring-around-the-collar

[Music]

yes if I have more chemicals no what we

need is the money to buy them that I

can't make some money Jamie who make me

a full partner will talk okay

you're full partner you get to full

percent how do we get money it's simple

the our stuff please close people who

might have clothes cleaned so if we

clean people's clothes from the

neighbors come on we'll take one side

street Harriet you take the other okay

please this is fantastic I'm gonna be

red red I like that in a man

you like anything in a man

okay you know what to do if they say no

and this is my sister Vicky we live down

the street

charmed listen kids what do you want

I've got a knockwurst in the micro and

they explode I've already got a laundry

service my wife what's the matter oh she

just gets this way when she hasn't eaten

for a few days that's why we're trying

to earn some money things have been a

little rough - Austin's job at Woodrow

okay I give you my laundry just get her

to stop she's gonna walk my porch

[Laughter]

[Music]

you're doing the laundry okay we won't

tell you wait a minute wait a minute

wait a minute these aren't mine

they're awfully cute but they're not

mine we're also doing the neighbors

laundry the neighbors laundry we want

her in some money wait a minute you mean

you mean they gave you their laundry

just like that after we told him you're

broken starving the refrigerator's full

of food they gave us humiliating all

right Jamie you better have a great

explanation for this taking in laundry

this is terrible

Brandon were not taking in laundry

babies alternated these clothes

don't you worry about a thing when

you're above in the gutter we'll always

be there to look down on you business I

own 2% of it

what new business laundry detergent with

my chemistry set you should see the way

it cleans clothes it's kids kids kids

big companies spend millions of dollars

to develop this stuff what makes you

think you can do any better I'll show

you mr. brindle sure it'll make your

shirt like new daddy

it is mute and it isn't dirty it is now

[Music]

she ruined my shirt

Vicki remind me to raise your allowance

it's okay mr. brindle just give it to me

all right

this is better work

okay I simply take the shirt dip it in

the detergent swish it around like this

and that's all there is to it see it's

sparkling clean it's incredible

unbelievable Wow

we might have something really valuable

here lost it all buddy

what do you mean weak II miss having

Harriet has 2% I naturally assumed it's

assumed Vicki invented the detergent and

it belongs to us that's right and we're

going to call it Lawson's super cleaner

we're going to sell it to a big soap

company and we're going to be rich I'm

going to be 2% of rich what about me

don't worry when you're a bun in the

gutter we'll always be there to look

down on you

[Applause]

okay we're gonna need a patent attorney

and that's gonna cost about $2,500 add

that on victim a 2,500 I'm working up an

estimate on what it's gonna cost us to

start this business run a total on those

figures Vicki we can't they can you

believe it

we're sitting on a goldmine we can't

afford a shovel just like being married

only better

the husband's helping with the laundry

[Applause]

[Music]

Harriet the Davis Fitzhugh is the day we

get married

[Applause]

can't ever know even dolly parton how to

start somewhere

the moms have just set the table for

dinner after dad sells your detergent of

sub companies will be having caviar

every night and will be so rich I won't

have to eat it we're not going to be

rich dad said we don't have enough money

to start the business what huh wait a

minute what about your dad

think he'll invest the money in it well

I'll mention it to him but don't count

on it

last time he partied with the dollar was

knifepoint and my mother was holding the

knife

[Music]

commie my Teddy old buddy how you doing

a friend what do you want Brandon I'm

right in the middle of dinner oh good I

didn't eat yet let me get right to the

point

I understand that you need an investor

in your detergent company maybe I do and

maybe I don't I know someone with money

to invest then maybe I do

that's um what is me maybe I don't

teddy don't speak too hastily I can put

up every cent will need Oh every cent

and all I want in return is 70% of the

company no way Brandon I mean even if I

did agree to let you in I'd still have

to maintain controlling interest I mean

I might give you say Oh 49 percent forty

but not a percent more is that firm like

a new girdle okay as the new president

of the company I have a lot of phone

calls waiting the wait a minute what do

you mean new president well Harriet has

2% and with my 49% that makes 51% which

also makes me the boss

[Music]

okay everything ready I mean the guy

from the soap company will be here any

minute to check out Vicki's new

detergent we're all set honey Vicki's

been practicing a demonstration a little

jingle for one and two and three

[Music]

it's very catchy g*n brand I have a

wonderful surprise for you folks words

cannot express our true feelings Brandon

I think the guy for the soap company

should see this the first thing he comes

in the door come on have it let's find a

place to put it

I know a great place yo-yo is gonna ruin

this whole thing we've got to figure out

the way to get back control of the

company

must be a ways wait a minute

Jaime you can help solve this problem

sure dad just name it I want you to

sweet talk area name something else come

on Jaime this is really important we

need to get Harriet's two percent back

so I'll have control of the company

again yeah using your own son to make

money what are kids for

alright alright alright I won't use my

own son Vicky command I don't want any

part of it either come on Jamie what are

you - the moral minority listen Vicki I

want you to talk to Harriet for me I

want you to make a deal with her bargain

with her bargain yeah you know like I

did with that salesman when I when I

bought the new car remember I remember

he's dug it to you yeah listen tell

Harriet she can have anything she wants

for that 2% got it

[Music]

Harriet yeah could you come in here a

Vickie would like to talk to you

what do you want to thank you little

lady have I got a deal for you yes I

loved you what kind how would you like a

plain little Buick with low mileage you

WIC I'm too young to drive then how

about this chair are you too young to

said Vicky what are you talking about

dad said you could have anything you

want for your two percent of the

business oh really

[Music]

[Laughter]

does it show my best side I think your

best side is the one you sit on oh

excuse us a second Brandon family

conference Vicky

what happened the 2% is on our side good

girl

[Applause]

would you have to give Harriet in return

me want to know when the wedding date is

what's going on what are they whispering

about

what my two percents on their side well

well well looks like I'll be doing the

negotiating now mr. ex-president okay

that's the kids quick into the kitchen

get everything ready I'm George Burton

of the worldwide soap corporation

Oh mr. Burton please come in we've been

expecting you this is my how do you do

and this is Brandon brindle jr. well I'm

a bit pressed for time so if you have

something to show me could we get right

to it yes we do right this way please

no I think you'll find it very

interesting oh and these are children

Vicki and Jamie oh and this is Harriet

Rendell I'm mr. Bertrand kids why don't

you show mr. Bertrand how our detergent

works okay this is a rat soiled and you

catch up

shoe polish nink all difficult stains to

get out until now introducing Lawson's

miracle cleaner we simply take this

dirty rag

excuse me but I've seen these so-called

demonstrations before let's give your

cleaner a real test

there isn't a product on the market that

could get this t-shirt clean

specially prepared by your research lab

no my four-year-old son wore it once you

get it clean and you got a deal

no problem

voila it's clean that's fantastic

incredible well I'm not one to beat

around the bush

mr. Lawson I'm authorized to offer you

$500,000 for the formula if you'll just

sign here no that's not enough playing

hardball huh

well how about 750,000 not enough all

right Lawson let's skip the d*ck ring

we'll make it an even million but that's

my final offer

baby please

because in that case the answer is

spilled

oh hi mr. Johnson I gotta talk to you

about my laundry kid sure mr. Johnson's

one of our satisfied customers Lee

decided Turgeon on his laundry oh yeah

how does it come out like this

what do you gotta say about it what's

going on here Lawson 24 hours after they

did my laundry it fell apart what are

you gonna do about a Lawson hey hey hey

I can't be responsible for a couple of

cheap garments falling apart I mean come

on we washed our clothes and that stuff

and we don't have any problems right

g*ng I spot clean my jacket look as good

as new

[Laughter]

so where do I sign on this are you

kidding I wouldn't let you sign my get

well card

in that case how would you like a clean

little Buick with low mileage a million

dollars down the drain well it just

shows what happens when you get greedy

but we're all is that your hurry to get

rich that we didn't you bother to find

out if the detergent was any good most

responsible for this he is why don't the

three of us step outside and discuss

this like adults

you know have a meeting of the minds

alright that sounds fair huh

I agree like it don't

I can't look what happened the biggest

adult tip the heads of the two smaller

adults and crack them together that's

what I call a meeting of the minds

[Applause]