09x05 - Escalator Maintainer / Scorpion Sweeper

[bunniefuu]

Cleaning an escalator,

dirty job.

Going up.

[Narrator] On this episode
of[font color="#ffff00"] "Dirty Jobs"...[/font]

Now, who's in charge?

[Narrator] In my ongoing quest
for hazard pay,

I try my hand
at two more important

but unsung jobs with
a potential to k*ll me.

This could be
the shortest segment

in the history of dirty jobs.

- We're going together.
- [chuckles]

[Narrator]
First, I go up, down,

down some more, up, over,

and under as I wedge myself

into the greasy, grimy,

and surprisingly
precarious world

of escalator maintenance.

I may be stuck.

[Narrator] And later...

Boy, that did sound
like a rattlesnake.

[Narrator] ...I navigate the
treacherous Arizona desert

at zero dark thirty.

Oh, sh**t, sh**t, sh**t.

[Narrator]
Yup. It's a scorpion roundup.

So would you say
is don't get stung?

Don't get stung, it's not fun.

[theme music playing]

Ow!

Oh!

[singer]
♪ Get into the dirty job ♪

♪ Someone's got to do it ♪

[font color=#FF00FF]*DIRTY JOBS*[/font]
[font color=#00FF00]Season 09 Episode 05[/font]

Episode Title: [font color=#FFc30f]"Escalator Maintainer /
Scorpion Sweeper"[/font]

[Narrator] Today, it's back to school
Aired on: [font color="#00ffff"]January 30, 2022.[/font]

For little continuing
education

at the university
of Minnesota,

home of the golden gophers
men's hockey team.

I'm Roger.

- Mike.
- Nice to meet you, Mike.

- How are you, Roger?
- I'm very good.

- How are you doing, Mike?
- Scott.

[Narrator] But I'm not here
to puck around,

I'm here to learn all I can

about the business
of maintaining escalators.

- Roger and Scott?
- Yup.

Company is schindler?

- Schindler elevator, yeah.
- I've seen the name.

And there's an escalator
in the Gopher's Stadium

that needs fixing?

Well, it needs cleaning.

It's dirty, I take it?

- Yes.
- Filthy?

We'll get you dirty.

[Narrator] If I had a nickel
for every time I've heard that,

I'd have a roll of quarters.

[Mike] How long have you guys
known each other?

- Twenty years.
- Twenty years, yeah.

- Yeah.
- Oh, man.

I can see this is
gonna be a weird one.

This escalator work
is more for somebody

who's like a horse jockey

or like Simone biles,
you know.

- Yeah.
- [Scott] Yeah.

She's a very flexible woman.

It's like the opposite end
of the spectrum of Scott.

Right.

If she ever wanted
to clean escalators,

she would be dynamite.

Simone biles,
if you're watching...

Two-sixty-five is not
too conducive, you know,

if you need me to hold down
your jumpy house

at your kid's party,
I'm your guy.

It's so important
to have a useful skill

to fall back on
in these uncertain times.

[Narrator] Well, the image
of a 265-pound

bearded escalator repairman

holding down a jumpy house
is beguiling,

I'm afraid the work
is inside.

[Roger] You got the Turkey
guarding the door out there.

[Mike]
That's a Turkey all right.

You just don't expect
to see a Turkey

guarding the door
to a stadium.

[Roger] Looks like
he's gonna let us go, Mike.

You know, Turkey was almost
our national bird.

John Adams wanted the eagle,

Thomas Jefferson wanted
the dove.

- Really?
- Yeah, but Franklin wanted the Turkey.

A truly noble bird, he said.

Franklin had a point, I guess.

[Scott] I'm glad
it's not the national bird.

[Mike] We wouldn't be able
to eat them.

[Scott] Right.

Oh, well, this is a little
closer than I anticipated.

Yeah, this is nice, right?

We find ourselves
in front of an escalator

that's been turned off
for safety, I'm sure.

You can't clean them
when they're moving.

- They'll be highly dangerous.
- Yup.

[Narrator] This escalator
is inspected every month,

but the service
we're doing today

is performed once a year
or as needed.

How long is this gonna take?

I think we're gonna take
most of the day.

We have to pull some steps

so we can get into the top end
and the bottom.

Once we got the top end clean,

we're gonna clean
the bottom end.

And then, we'll get it
back running again.

Have you been into many dirty
bottoms yourself, Scott?

Several dirty bottoms, yeah.

Will we be wiping the bottom?

We will wipe the bottom.

Okay.

- So we have to go up top.
- Yeah.

And get the power turned on.

So I guess
we're heading upstairs?

Yup.

[Narrator] Just a quick trip
up the steps

to work our way down.

Seems simple enough.

Is it typical to have
a set of stairs

right next to an escalator?

Actually, it... It's not
but it's a great idea

in case the escalator
ever goes down.

Right.

And people can still
keep moving.

[Narrator]
Despite their complexities,

escalators are actually
pretty reliable.

On average, they only break
down once or twice a year.

All right.
So we're gonna lift.

All right.

Now, we're gonna take it
and now,

- we're gonna slide it back.
- [Mike] All right.

[Roger] So now,
we got to power up.

This is the disconnector here.

[Scott] Right here, Mike.

So this is simply
the mechanism

that allows the thing
to start moving?

Right. This gives
the controller voltage.

And we got to get geared up

because this have blown up
in the past.

Oh.

So we take a lot
of safety measures

to prevent that
from happening.

Why would they blow up?

Um, they must be going
to ground somewhere

because everything
is grounded,

so if there is voltage
going through there,

um, that will trip
the breaker,

but you've seen
a lot of videos

where someone goes to turn
a disconnector on

and it just shoots this blast
of tremendous heat

and it usually kills
the person or burns them.

They're burnt bad. So...

You know, there are some rules
that we have to follow.

To start, just staying
as far as away

- from danger as possible.
- Sure.

The inherent risk
of maintaining an escalator

is truly a hazardous job.

Oh, it truly... Uh, oh,
very much so, Mike, yeah.

- There are inherent dangers.
- Yeah.

Slips and trips,
electrocution,

you know,
getting caught up in it.

Yeah. Oh, okay.

[Narrator] This escalator runs
on 400 to 415 volts.

For the record,


I brought you some ppe,

earplugs, gloves,
forearm covers.

When you turn the power on,
we all kind of look away

- and move a safe distance.
- Okay.

So you're kind of
on your own at that point.

You're freaking me out, Roger.

Uh, these are all things
that you don't think of

until you're a part of it.

Until you're suddenly
going up like [indistinct]

Right.

And earplugs?

Yeah, because it can boom.

What's that do?

It's so you don't conduct
electricity.

[Mike] Oh, so this will
sort of ground me?

Unground you.

We would never wanna be
directly over the top

- of the disconnector.
- Yeah. No.

- So you just wanna reach over.
- Uh-huh.

Stay out of the way and
just turn it on, pull it on.

Yeah. Just like this?

- Yeah.
- Turn it like this?

Yup.

And the odds of this exploding
are very low?

Very low.

- But it could happen?
- It could happen.

This could be
the shortest segment

in the history
of dirty jobs.

We're going together.

[laughs]

All right.
I'm gonna turn it this way.

Yeah. Well done.

- [Roger] That's it.
- Well done.

- We're still here.
- Power is now, we made it.

- It's on?
- Yeah.

All right.
So what does that mean?

So now, we're gonna
transfer it onto the bottom.

Yeah.

And then, we'll be taking
some steps out.

Do we go down the escalator
and do we take the stairs?

We'll take the stairs.

[chuckles] Okay.

You could say that repairing
and working on escalators

- is a step by step process?
- [Roger] It is. - [Scott] Yeah.

[chuckles]

[Scott] Many steps.

[Mike chuckles]

So have you ever pulled
an escalator step out, Mike?

I haven't.

No, this is a...
This is a new one for me.

I did the elevator thing.

[Narrator] That's me
in an elevator shaft

100% certain that dirty jobs

would not be on the air


Wrong.

[Roger]
We're gonna lift it up.

- Yup.
- All right.

And then,
I'll try and kick that

and now, we're gonna
slide her back.

Yup.

[Roger] So now,
what we're gonna do

is we're gonna run this thing.

This goes inside here.

[Scott]
Make sure you lock it.

[Mike] Mmm-hmm.

And we got a stop button here.

[Mike] That's the stop button?

Yup.

Before I run,
I always [indistinct] Up,

- "going up."
- like four on the golf course?

- Exactly.
- Going up!

[Narrator] Escalators
in environments like this...

[Mike] Going up!

[Narrator]..Can see
as many as 8,000 riders

in a single day.

And then, here comes the hole.

We came here and pulled out
a few steps yesterday.

But we wanted to leave
a few for you to pull.

- Well, thanks.
- Yeah.

No, that's great.

[Narrator] And that's the hole
I'll be dropping into.

Assuming Taylor
doesn't drop in first

trying to get a shot.

[Mike] Do we get in there?

[Scott]
You know, Mike, I think

for this first part here,

I think we will get in there.

- Okay.
- And we're gonna be

shoulder to shoulder
if that's all right with you.

It's all right with me.
Belly to belly. Cheek to jowl.

Yeah.
It doesn't bother me a bit.

Me and you, you and me.

All right. The two of us
together in the pit.

[Scott] Sounds great.

[Narrator] The escalator's
mechanism is locked in place

before anybody climbs inside.

- Can I touch like this?
- You can.

I can touch anything?

There's really no easy way
to get in.

That was perfect.

Well, thanks.

Remember, we talked
about Simone biles.

- That was...
- Yeah.

Yeah. Well, if she were here,

she'd jump around, boom...

And stick the landing.

- All right.
- [Scott] She'd stick the landing.

Here I come.

Here he comes.

This ought to be great, Mike.

We now need to switch sides.

Let's do it.

Yeah. Which way are you going?

Let me go this way.

It's got bumper.

[chuckles] Yeah, man.

- Well done, Mike.
- Thanks.

Nice transfer.

Thank you.

So now, we need to remove
the steps.

Mmm-hmm.

You just loosen these off,

pull it out.

[Mike] Yup.

And then,
you just hoist it out

just like that off to Roger.

- [Mike] There you go, Roger.
- [Roger] Thanks, Mike.

[Mike] There's a step for you.

So now, we're gonna get out
of the pit.

I feel like we just got
in the pit, Scott.

Well, we did.

We'll take the stairs,
we get in the pit,

we get out of the pit,
we do the thing,

we loosen it up,
grab the thing

and hoist it out,
get back in the pit,

and we'll do it again.

A few times.

We're gonna burn
some calories here.

I...

I can use it.

- You...
- I'm not saying anything.

[Narrator]
And here I was feeling guilty

that I skipped leg day.

I'm so in my head now, man.

I'm ready for this thing
to turn on

in spite of all
of our precautions.

Going up!

- Okay.
- Yup. Up.

And there. Just like that.

[Scott] Uh, a little bit more.

- A little bit more?
- Up!

- Yeah.
- A little bit more.

- Up!
- [Scott] Good. Perfect.

- [Scott] Perfect.
- Good. Get back in the pit?

- Not yet.
- No?

Nope.

Oh, you got to turn
this stuff off.

We have to verify
each stops is...

Right. So I'm gonna
push this down?

[Scott] Yup.

Try to run it up or down.

Up, down, nothing.

This goes down, too. Right?

Okay. So now, this one goes
down and that one comes up.

- [Mike] Got to. Right.
- [Scott] Yeah.

That goes down this comes up.

Now, we double check it.
Up! Nope. Nothing. Down.

- No, nothing there. So...
- Okay.

[Mike]..We just
leave it all as it is

when this goes back down?

So check that now.

Obviously, we're both
in the wrong position,

but let's go ahead and deep...

We'll go ahead and press that.

- Just that?
- Yeah.

- Great.
- And we'll press this.

Of course.

And we verified
both of our switches.

Now, we get back to the pit?

Now, we get back in the pit.

Only you're gonna go
by yourself.

Okay.

I'll miss you.

- [Scott] I'll miss you, too.
- [Roger chuckles]

Well, that just
got weird, huh?

[Scott] And just do it
one side at a time.

There you go.
Yup. Just like that.

- [Mike] There we go.
- [Scott] There you go.

- So that step is free now.
- [Mike] The step is free.

And now, I hand this to Roger.

- There you go.
- Well done.

Well done.

That's enough steps.
We're good.

- Oh, we're good?
- Yup. We're good.

Why wouldn't we take out
all of the steps?

Because once we rotate
the escalator up

to the upper end,

we're gonna get
enough open area

that we can begin
our clean down.

I got it.

I said I got it
as though I got it.

Because I don't...
A lot of times, Scott,

I'll nod my head.

Oh, you're gonna say you're
looking at me like you got it.

Right. But I don't.

Every day, Mike, every day.

Right.
But you don't really...

You don't really
understand.

You just don't.
Oh, yeah, yeah.

So you're floating along,
Mike,

right on par
with normal apprentices.

When I worked for Roger,
I said, "yeah, I got it."

- Yeah. Yeah.
- A lot.

Yeah. But you didn't?
You didn't really?

- No.
- But you knew that eventually, you would?

I had to.

Sooner or later, understanding
is not negotiable

and you can't really fake it
until you make it

because the stakes
are too high

- and safety is what it is.
- [Scott] That's correct.

While you as a supervisor

need to look into the eyes
of the apprentice

and ask yourself,

"does this guy
really understand

or is he just nodding his head
in bovine agreement?"

- Right.
- Yeah.

[Narrator] Danger aside,
there comes a time in every job

when you just need to do it.

- [Roger] Are we ready?
- Yeah.

[Roger] All right.

[Mike] We're going back up
the stairs...

[Roger] We're going up.

[Narrator] For the record,
we're not quite there yet.

But we're getting close.

[Mike] So I turn away.

All right.
I'm gonna turn this now

and hope there's not
gonna be an expl*si*n.

[Scott] Power's off,
we're locked off

but we're gonna treat it
like it's hot.

So now, we're gonna remove
that and just lay it back.

[Mike] Okay.

[Narrator] Before I can start
work under the track,

more safety precautions
need to be taken

to ensure that
the steps don't move

while I'm under them

because that would be bad,
unspeakably bad.

[Mike] Obviously,
that's where all the power is.

[Scott] Okay.

[Mike] Now,
Roger is coming up the steps

for maybe the 300th time
of the day,

he's carrying some straps.

The brake is gonna do its job,
it's gonna hold the unit.

The straps
are just redundancy,

we gotta make sure
it's not going to move.

You can say that again.

We gotta make sure
it's not gonna move.

- [Narrator] Coming up.
- Let's start sucking.

[Narrator] It's more cleaning
in those hard to reach places.

And trust me, Roger's places
are hard to reach.

Now, who's in charge?

[Mike] That Turkey's really
giving me the stink eye now.

[Scott] He's here


Walking up on the doors.

I think he likes
to look at himself

in the reflection
of the glass.

[Mike]
That is a handsome bird.

I artificially inseminated
some turkeys

here in Minnesota,
actually.

- Oh, they're heavy.
- [man] Yup, they're heavy.

[Mike] Oakdale farm.

I'm still not ready
to talk about that, man.

God. Look at that.

[Scott] You had to find
that certain spot, right?

[Mike]
You gotta suck the semen

out of the rectum
with a straw.

Stop struggling.

Did you have a double do that
for you?

Oh, no, no, no, no,

but the Turkey was union
and very talented.

[Turkey gobbles]

All right.
So let's just get into it.

All right. We're going in.

[Narrator] Escalators
are cleaned from the top down

because the worst dirt
is in the bottom.

Typical.

[Mike] So these pads go.

- [Roger] Yup.
- Oh.

This is the dirt
from people's shoes.

[Scott] Help yourself
to any gum, Mike.

I will start vacuuming up
any loose stuff.

- [Mike] All right.
- [Scott] Any loose debris

we'll give you
the important then, Mike.

Thank you.

Hey.

We're rich.

[Scott] What do you got?

- A penny.
- [Roger] There you go.

A penny for your thoughts.

[vacuum whirring]

[Narrator]
I'm thinking nobody told me

just how much
this job would suck.

[Scott] We're gonna need you
to get deep in or no.

- [Mike] I'm gonna.
- [Scott] Okay.

Have you ever thought about
an attachment on this thing?

Oh, yeah.

- You need something like that?
- Yeah.

[Narrator]
It's not the tightest space

I've ever been in
or the crappiest.

But it's definitely tight
and crappy.

[Scott] I didn't know if you're
an attachment type guy or what,

you know, I... You know?

You never say no
to an attachment.

[Scott] There you go.

This will change everything.

- Hit me.
- Okay. Here we go.

[vacuum whirring]

[Narrator] A clean machine
is a happy machine.

Clearing out all that gunk

will help this escalator
work better and last longer.

[bleep]

[bleep]

I don't know how I got
twisted up like this,

but I'm not...

[grunts] Great spot.

[Narrator]
It's a bit like reaching into

a giant garbage disposal
with your whole body.

And it's important
not to think about

what would happen
if somebody turned it on.

I'm trying to avoid this

razor sharp piece
of forged steel.

That's now under my scapula.

How's that working?

It's annoying, man, I can't...

[Roger]
Well, I've never seen anybody

come out of it
like that before.

You got her.

Okay.

- Ow!
- [Roger] Oh. There's your bump cap.

Yeah, came in handy.

The soft spot
in my hypothalamus right there

might be exposed.

[Narrator] I've hit my head
on lots of things over the years.

[exhales]

[Narrator] First time, though,
on an escalator.

Will you grease these
pillow blocks right here?

Sure.

[Scott] There's one
on each side here.

[Narrator] After cleaning off
all the grime.

We inject some fresh grease
into the pillar box.

Okay. All right.
Give me that.

- [Scott] Okay.
- [Mike] Thanks.

Let me put that there.

Just so you guys can see
what I'm seeing,

that little guy right there

and this little guy
right here,

they need to hook up.

Turn it back all of this.

So if I can get that in there,

it's just seated so awkwardly,
Roger.

[Roger] I know.

[Mike] Here, if you got it
on there, I'll pump it.

[Roger] Let me just see,

I might just give
a little pump.

Okay. Why don't you put
your hand on there

- and just hold it?
- [Mike] No, no. You stay there.

I'll pump it like this,
right?

[Roger] We're pretty
close here. But I'm okay.

[Mike] Good.

Tell me when you're good.

- [Roger] I'm good. That's...
- Good. Who's your buddy?

[laughs] Now, who's in charge?

[Roger] Who's your daddy?

Now, who's in charge
of this show?

[Roger] I submit.

[laughter]

- [Roger] Oh, Mike.
- Good.

Well, I never expected
that one there.

[Mike] Well, nobody expects
the Spanish inquisition.

[Roger] I felt kind
of vulnerable there.

[Mike] Yeah.

Well, it's a default position
for me.

What do we do now?

We gotta wipe this down.

Mike, I'm gonna step
in right behind you now,

don't be scared.

[Narrator]
In the pit with Scott pumper

only on
the discovery channel.

Okay. So this is also called
the turnaround here.

We'll give that a good scrape.

Then we'll wipe out these pans
underneath here.

- Okay.
- [Scott] Okay.

We'll get in there
and get some of that

- residual oil out of there.
- [Mike] Mmm-hmm.

[Scott] I'm gonna step out
now, okay?

[Mike] All right.
You go ahead and be careful.

[Narrator] In the pit
without Scott pumper

only on
the discovery channel.

[Scott] That white roller
with a belt on it.

[Mike] Yes.

[Scott] That is what
runs your hand rail.

[Mike] Oh, all those hands
gripping that handrail,

day after day,

year after year,
month after month.

[Scott] Forty-five thousand
college kids.

[Mike] Oh, god, and you know
what they do with their hands?

[laughs]

[Mike] I mean, really,
what's more disgusting

than a handrail
on an escalator?

[Narrator] As a reminder,
this is coming from a guy

who inseminated a Turkey.

Oh, damn it!

[laughter]

That's beyond redemption.

[chuckles]

[Scott] It's got somewhere,

it was put in in the early
'90s, Mike, so.

So what's the plan for you,
Scott?

When's retirement?

[Scott] I'm hoping to go,
you know, at fifty-eight,

- so six years.
- [Mike] Yeah.

You know, and then
we'll take it from there, so.

But once I do pull the pen,

it's gonna be flip flops
and whale tails.

[laughs]

And a reason
we spent a lot of time,

like, cleaning turnarounds
and stuff like that

is any of that residual stuff
that gathers in there,

it can... It can affect
the ride quality.

[Mike] It's funny you never
really think about...

Ride quality with regards
to an escalator,

but... I mean,
why wouldn't you?

I mean,
it's not a ride I guess.

- Like a... Like an amusement.
- Right.

[Mike] But when you're on it,
you're riding.

Yeah. And you should
be comfortable

and feel confident
in where you're heading.

[Mike] Okay.

[Scott] Yeah, it looks great.

Now, I crawl down
in that general direction

- and keep going?
- Exactly.

- [sighs]
- [Roger] Did he just sigh?

[Mike] I sighed.

[Scott] It's an escalator
sigh, Mike.

It's not that bad.

It's just part
of the territory.

It's a hill,
you're a Billy goat right now.

This is something just futile.

[laughs]

Just, I mean,
all I see is grease.

That's the beauty of it.

No one else will know.

[laughs]

This would be very bad
for this to come on now.

[Scott] Yes, it would.

See, you're having those
negative thoughts again.

[Mike] I was.
I was having them.

[Scott] Yeah. Because
it would be bad right now.

[Mike] Yes.

- [Narrator] Coming up.
- [grunts]

[Narrator] The highs and lows
of escalator maintenance.

[Mike] I may be stuck.

[Narrator] Fair enough
to make a fellow whine.

Would it be possible
to have this removed?

It got my liver
got both kidneys,

brushed the testicle.

[laughs]

[Narrator] And later...

It's weirdly satisfying
to spot one and snag him,

equally frustrating
to see him run away.

[Justin laughs]

[Narrator] I've come to the
university of Minnesota's 3m arena...

Don't fall in the pit.

[Narrator]..To learn
all about the ups and downs

of cleaning and escalator.

Time now to reenter the pit.

Nice and easy.

A place that's starting
to feel like home.

Fire it up.

It's a challenging place

to work
underneath an escalator.

But the more time
I spend down here,

the more comfortable I get.

[Scott] Okay.
That sounds great.

[Mike] Okay.

I may be stuck,
might have got myself stuck.

[sighs]

[Scott] We're gonna need
crisco or...

[grunts]

[Scott] We could send Roger
to the grocery store and...

No, we're good. This...

What does this thing
do right here?

Would it be possible
to have this removed?

We could, but then
our guard wouldn't fit.

It's an atrocious little piece
of needlessly sharp metal.

It got my liver,
got both kidneys...

- Yeah.
- ...Brushed the testicle.

- Just recently?
- [Mike] Yeah.

[Scott] We really
don't get concerned, Mike,

until you let out
a guttural noise

that goes with tear pain,

- you know.
- Yes.

And it's a guttural
kind of...

When's the last time
this job inspired that?

I would say 10 years ago.

And what
were the circumstances

that led to the grunt?

Um, you talked about brushing
your testicle on there.

- [Mike] Right.
- Okay.

Well, I had one
on either side.

Well, that's just standard
is what I understand.

And that induces
a real guttural...

If you were
to recreate the sound for me,

what would it be like?

It'd be a cross
between a mating

grizzly bear
and angry crocodile, you know?

- Sure.
- [growling]

Man, there's a...
There's a futility to this,

I gotta tell you. And I...

And it's based on the fact
that I can make it better,

but I can't make it good.

Sometimes good enough
has to be good enough.

[Scott] Or if you're a skill,
you'll be able to get it.

Underneath an escalator
somewhere in Minnesota.

Good thing you showed up
when you did, Mike.

- Yeah, why is that?
- Because if you weren't here,

we'd be in there doing that.

Well, I've seen a lot of dirt,
that's for sure.

And this really is a very,
very unique

and specific brand
of schmutz now here.

All the stuff
from people's shoes,

you know,
there's gum and food,

and spit, and hair.

Now, I don't know how
the hell it all gets in here,

but it is really
just toxic bouillabaisse

of human disappointment.

That's why every day
is cinco de Mayo.

- [speaks in Spanish]
- [laughter]

[Roger] It's Margarita time.

Every day is cinco de Mayo.

[Scott]
Every day we celebrate.

Yeah. All right.

I'm standing by
for that part of the day.

- [Scott] How'd you do, Mike?
- It's great, man. It's great.

You could eat off
the inside of this escalator.

Cool.

Okay. We're gonna try
to run this escalator.

So we gotta be careful now.

Coming down.

- Seems to be working.
- That's a good thing.

So here comes your step.

[Narrator]
The steps go back in

pretty much
how they came out.

And thanks to Roger
and Scott,

and a little help from me.

This escalator is a little
better prepared

to handle many more thousands

of devoted Minnesota
hockey fans.

- Now, it's done, right?
- [Scott] Yeah, it's done.

It's done. Well, look, man,

I don't want to make
too big a deal out of it.

But the way I see it,

civilized life
being held together

by a couple of guys
in gray shirts

and big bushy beard
and 30 years of experience.

- Nice having you, Mike.
- It was really a pleasure.

Thanks so much.

I'm gonna go
talk to the Turkey.

- All right.
- All right?

- Take care.
- You guys carry on.

- [Scott] Take care.
- Move at top speed.

We gotta... We gotta try to
get something done here yet.

You get something done.
I'll talk to the Turkey.

Well, that was a weird one.

Roger Webber, Scotty pumper,

think of them the next time
you're in an elevator,

or on an escalator.

Time now to trade
the land of 10,000 lakes

for the land
of 10,000 degrees

where another
dirty job awaits

in the sonoran desert
of scenic Arizona.

It's 7:21, we're outside
of Phoenix and scottsdale,

we're in Arizona,

something about scorpions.

Now, you know what I know.

It's easy
to understand why folks

live alongside
a desert preserve.

The natural beauty
is unique and majestic.

But along
with the human population

or a few million scorpions
who just love to sting you.

They also enjoy the arid
climate and rocky terrain.

And that's where
scorpion sweepers come in.

- You look like Justin.
- Yup.

- How are you? I'm like Mike.
- Nice to meet you, Mike.

Thanks for doing this with us.

Yeah, no problem.

How many people
are scorpion sweepers?

We have six
employees currently.

We do houses
all over the valley

and all the way
down to Tucson.

So you're well-versed
on what a scorpion is.

I can ask you
all sorts of questions...

Yeah. Absolutely.

[Mike]..You probably
have an answer?

I'll always make
something up for you.

What...
Are they basically what?

- Like arachnids?
- Yes.

So they're arachnids
so they have eight legs,

two body segments,

and they just happen
to have this

really gnarly stinger
on the back.

Just like to spend
a couple of minutes typically

for each episode
begins seeing if the subject

I'm gonna be working with

is truly well-versed
on the topic at hand.

You never know sometimes.

But Justin Klaus

clearly knows
what he's talking about

as long as we're only
talking about scorpions.

Yeah, as long as it's on
the cue cards over there, so.

Again with the jokes.

So it's scorpion sweeping,
you literally sweep them?

We sweep with a light
so we use black lights

because scorpions
actually glow under uv light.

[Mike] Well, that's
fascinating. Why is that?

Part of their exoskeleton
just has the right

chemical compounds
and stuff to glow.

And we're not really sure why.
No one really knows.

There's not really consensus.

It could be
to be a warning sign

because at night
a lot of animals

can't see very well at night,

but they can see
in uv pretty well

so it can be a way
to be an advertising,

hey, I'm scary and I have
a nice nasty sting.

- Don't mess with me.
- Have you been stung

or bit or run
into cactus yourself?

I've run
into plenty of cactus.

- Yeah, it is miserable.
- Yeah.

Never been stung
while working.

I've been stung
in my own house

not following my rules but...

- Well, that's ironic.
- Yeah.

Never been stung on the job,

- but been stung at home.
- Yeah.

[Narrator]
Funny stuff, Justin.

I'll need to keep on my toes.

Not just for his witty jabs,

but for the literal jabs
from the many sharp things

in the desert that can poke,

stab, and bite me.

I'm clearly
not dressed properly, am I?

- No, not at all.
- Okay.

Long pants,
long shirt would be ideal?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

We'll be going out here
in the desert

so everything's got thorns.

Everything's got teeth.

A lot of pricks
out here in the desert.

- [laughs] Right.
- A lot.

You know what I like
about the desert?

Everything.

[whistles]

- Now, we're talking.
- Got some khaki for you.

Fantastic.

You know before it gets
completely dark,

let's take one more
real good look at Justin.

We're gonna be here for
the next eight hours or so.

But this is probably the last
time we're gonna see him.

Probably the last time
we're gonna see you, too.

Well, they know
what I look like.

But this is new for you.

So let's just take
five seconds,

play some appropriate music
and let's just think Justin.

[upbeat music playing]

Can I do like a little...
A little 180?

[Narrator] Justin Klaus
putting the bay in beige,

like nobody else.

Coming up.

Yes, let's avoid
the rattlesnakes.

Scorpions glow in the dark,

but move
at the speed of light.

[Justin] Doink. Oh.
Oh, sh**t, sh**t, sh**t.

It's on the move.

[Narrator]
If you're just joining us,

night is falling
in the Arizona desert.

And I'm preparing to sweep

the darkened landscape
for scorpions,

a prehistoric arachnid
with a big old stinger.

Scorpions are pests
like spiders, and mites.

Except unlike spiders
and mites,

when they sting you,
it really hurts.

But also creepy
and people want them gone.

I feel like I'm like standing
under an exit sign or...

You look like a rotisserie
chicken right now.

[laughter]

I feel like one.
I feel like one.

Really, if you just ran
a little steel up my spine

and started spinning me.

I mean, it's about a hundred
degrees out here still.

Now, under a red light.

Scorpion sweeping
is pretty straightforward.

Walk around
the darkened deserts,

put the black light
and see what pops up.

I got the granddaddy
of black lights for you.

So scorpions are gonna

- be able to glow into this.
- Uh-huh.

This is how
we're gonna find them tonight.

You already got
your snake gators on.

I do.

We're gonna carry
one of these guys around.

It's a watertight box
that we keep

all of our scorpions in.

And what are we
gonna do with them?

Tonight,
we're just gonna freeze,

so we're
chemical free company.

We don't use any chemicals.
You have to freeze them

like really,
really cold temperatures

because they will come back
to life.

They have an antifreeze
built into their blood.

Ready to go
scorpion hunting.

[Narrator] Justin's
been hired by a nice couple

who feel overrun
by scorpions.

Let's meet them.

- Hi, how are you?
- Hi.

- I'm great. How are you?
- [Mark] Nice to meet you.

- Mike.
- Thank you for coming out.

- Oh, thanks for having us.
- Hi. Nice to meet you.

We're so glad
you guys are here.

- Thanks for having us.
- How are you?

- Good to see you, sir.
- Mark and?

- Chris.
- Jackson?

- [Chris] Jackson. Yes.
- You have a lovely home.

- [Chris] Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.

But we have
a scorpion issue.

How big is the issue?

Scorpions are everywhere.

I mean, we're in the mountain
preserve, right? There's...

We can't always see them
but there's thousands,

I imagine.

It's, you know,
it's a nonstop battle

of us versus them,
basically.

And the scorpions
can go right up

our desert wall and right
over into our backyard.

Sometimes in our house.

Well, you don't mind
if we freeze them

- as we catch them, do you?
- No.

- Not at all.
- I would actually love that.

You know, if you'd like,
we'll send it back to you.

- You can mount them.
- This way to the preserve.

- This way?
- Yup.

Now, we'll turn black
lights on right about now.

All right.

There's a lot to worry about

as you stumble through
the desert after dark.

Tarantulas,
black widows, neurotoxic,

venomous scorpions, cacti,

rattlesnakes, inner demons.

Just make sure
you're watching your step.

There's lots
of cactus out here.

The rocks
and stuff are easy to trip on.

And that's definitely one
you don't want to run into.

Ah, it's just... It just seems
well in the dark.

- Just a harmless little bush.
- Yeah, I mean,

you can go hug it if you want.

No thanks.

You know,
it's worth repeating.

These things are brown,

like everything else

served absolutely invisible
by day.

[Justin] Pretty much, yeah.

Everything in Arizona
has got that nice brown color.

[Mike] You should write
travel brochures.

[laughter]

[Narrator] Justin and I
are following

the home's property line.

Any scorpion on Mark
and Chris' land is fair game.

Honestly, though,
until like we started

looking for them
for black lights,

I mean, they have remained
relatively unchanged

other than size
for about 400 million years.

They were the first
predators on land.

And I mean, outside being
about three feet long

as opposed to a few inches,

they've not
really changed at all.

I do a zoo keeping by day
and scorpion hunting by night.

- Do you really?
- Yeah.

So how long
you been a zookeeper?

For about a decade now.

So I have a degree in biology,

which is kind of why
I do this at night

because I thought this is like
pretty cool second gig.

I found scorpion sweepers
as seemed like

a really good fit because
I like educating people

about the environment
that they're living in

and, like, yeah,
scorpions are pests out here

but they're
really cool creature

that was here before we were.

And so, you know,

dealing with them
appropriately

is better than just,
you know, spraying chemicals

and things
like that around that.

- Of course.
- You know, we have no idea

what we're gonna do
in 10 years.

There's our first one
right there.

[Mike]
Look at that little guy.

[Justin] Yeah,
so that's a bark scorpion.

One of the three
we'll find out here.

It's the smallest one,

but it's also
the most venomous.

[Mike] Isn't that funny
the way so many things

- that are small...
- [Justin] Yup.

[Mike]
...They're like the worst?

- [Justin] Yup.
- [Mike] Forceps?

[Justin] Yup.

[Mike] Now is he likely
to move, evade?

If he feels
your vibrations, yeah.

So usually what I like to do,

like, to get our box,
nice, secure a location.

So when it's full
of scorpions,

we don't trip on it
in a minute

because there's nothing worse

than tripping
on a box of scorpions.

You say this
like a guy's happened to.

[Justin laughs]

Right there.

So when we do it,
one thing I will warn you,

try not to put your knee
on the ground

because you don't know if that
rock's got a scorpion under

or that rock's got
a scorpion on it.

So I never go my knees
to the ground.

- Right?
- I always look.

If you're going
under something,

look above you first
'cause you don't want

to one falling down
your shirt.

[Mike] No. Got it.

And we're gonna aim
for the tail.

- Look, he's running.
- Ooh. Look at him, he's quick.

Yeah, they're a lot faster

than I could have
a little warmer.

Ooh.
He just went down a hole.

- [Justin] Yeah.
- [Mike] Oh, you got it.

[Justin] Yeah, so usually
we try to aim for the tail.

[Mike] Uh-huh.

[Justin] They've got
a nerve ending in there

and just go motionless
like that,

like they'll just like hold
their pincers out and whatnot.

Right? So that's his...

That's a stinger right there.

Note to self, avoid that.

And so if this guy
were to...

- Were to get you...
- Yeah.

...What would it feel like?

[Justin] It kind of depends
on the person a little bit,

- but...
- Let's say me.

So anywhere
from like a bee sting to,

- like, an electric shock.
- Uh-huh.

You can have a variety
of different symptoms

from just numb,

tingly feelings
wherever he stings

to increase blood pressure,

vomiting, fevers,
things like that.

And if you're really unlucky,

you could be looking
at a lethal sting.

So what you're saying
is don't get stung.

Don't get stung.
It's not fun.

[Narrator] It goes without
saying I'm doing my best

to avoid getting stung.

All right. There's number one.

But with our first query
safely locked in the box,

that's one less scorpion
to worry about.

[Justin] There's another one.
That one can be yours, Mike.

[Mike] Right there. Okay.

[Justin] All right.
So we're gonna be quick.

So once you get
those forceps out there,

you gotta go
like a frog's tongue.

There you go.
That's a great grab.

Your first scorpion.

Son, you're a man now.

I mean, it looks
so completely green...

[Justin] Yeah.

[Mike]..But it's not at all.

[Justin] If you turn off
your black light.

Mmm-hmm.

And that's
what you're looking at.

I think I've got him
right by the stinger.

[Justin] Yup. You got control
of the danger end,

so that's perfect.

So we're up to two.

[Mike] What is this rustling
I keep hearing?

[Justin] It's the plants
out here. The brittle bush,

kind of, sounds like
a rattlesnake sometimes.

- [Mike] It does.
- [Justin laughs]

[Mike] You know what else
sounds like a rattlesnake?

- [Justin] Hmm.
- [Mike] A rattlesnake.

[laughter]

[Narrator] Justin's
zoological knowledge

makes him a natural
for navigating in the desert.

You might say
he's moonlighting

in the moonlight.

[Justin] We got our third guy
right under here.

Mike, you gotta get
a little faster to spot now.

[Mike] Where?

[Justin]
Like, this side of the rock.

[Mike] Oh, yeah.
Look at that little guy. Boom.

Where do you think
you're going, dude?

[Justin]
We got a long night left.

What time you get up
this morning?

[Justin] What time
I got up this morning?

Yeah, what kind of hours
you keep?

Oh, I have a day job,
so I actually was up at 4:00.

[Mike] You were up at 4:00 am
and you went to the zoo?

Yup. Scorpions don't sleep.
[laughs]

Well, neither of you, man.

You're gonna be up 24 hours
before the dust settles here.

[Justin]
I will be honest out here.

We've definitely seen
mountain lions and stuff,

and I've definitely
had like the hairs

on the back of my neck
stand up that instinct,

that primal feeling
that you're being watched.

- Yeah.
- So some of those nights,

you're just, like,

looking behind you
every five seconds, but...

I can't believe you're not
out here with a buddy.

Nope. I carry bear spray
on me just in case but...

What, there are bears
out here, too?

No, but, I mean,
good enough for bears,

it's gotta be good enough
for mountain lions, right?

[Mike] It seems logical,

but I'd hate to find out.

The answer is no.

[Justin] There we go.
Back in that bush.

That one's gonna be,
kind of, a hard grab.

[Mike] Doink.
Oh, sh**t, sh**t, sh**t.

He's on the move.
Ah, got it.

- [Justin] Nice grab.
- Oh.

Where are we going
in such a rush, little man?

All right.

Surprise myself on that one,
honestly.

So who's the greatest
scorpion catcher there is?

Is there... Is there like
a legend in your business?

I think for as far
as scorpion sweepers

our company goes,
I think I have

the highest number currently.

- Really?
- I mean, I did the house

at 300 in one night,

I caught them
in about an hour and a half.

Just...

Three hundred scorpions,
one night, in the house.

That's the guy
you wanna call,

Justin Klaus,
scorpion man.

Ooh, wow!
Yeah, he's the king.

[Justin] So we're gonna
backtrack a little bit

because there's
rattlesnake territory and all.

[Mike] Yes.

Yes, let's avoid
the rattlesnakes.

I'm gonna need bigger forceps
for the rattlesnake.

- Coming up.
- Bang.

[Narrator] Scorpion sweeping,

it has totally gone
to the dogs.

If you're just joining us,
I'm trying to figure out

what to put my pants on.

This happens
a lot on the show.

We truly make it up as we go,
Justin,

right down to the detail
of when

does a fella put on his pants.

Get back up your neck.

I'll decide
when people see my legs, okay?

I don't have a lot
of dignity left

but I'd like to make a couple
of decisions

on my own
with what's left of my career

and putting my pants on
and showing off my legs.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, there we go.

If you really wanna show,
here, look,

let's check in on the wound,
it's doing pretty well.

I was welding
and tugboat not long ago.

[screams]

[Mike] A piece of molten steel

glided right through
my carhartts,

right through my skin,

straight
into the bone of my...

That's about two months ago.

I didn't think
it was ever gonna heal.

I should have put
my pants on earlier that day

now I look back at it.

[Narrator]
Welcome back to the desert

outside beautiful Phoenix,
Arizona,

where I'm sweeping
for scorpions.

Oh. [Laughs]

Yup, it's a job.

[Justin]
Worked on that nicely.

[Narrator]
Scorpions are predators

[indistinct] Spiders,
centipedes,

even other scorpions,

it's weirdly satisfying
to spot one and snag him.

- Yup.
- And it's you know,

equally frustrating to spot
one and see him run away.

[Justin laughs]

[Mike]
Oh, look at that, terrible.

There he goes.
Oh, he's so fast.

Geez whiz.

[sighs] Oops.

Yup, his head came on.

[Justin] Unlucky number 13.

[Mike] So it looks like some
of these have been k*lled.

Yeah,
so the larger ones for sure,

well, actually
like start cannibalizing

- on the smaller ones.
- [Mike] Mmm-hmm.

I mean, the reason
we just put these big guys

into a box of dinner.

- Sorry to put you in there.
- [Mike] Yeah.

[Justin laughs]
That's just gonna be food.

[Mike] Delicious dinner
[indistinct] In there, man.

All right.
I see him right there.

Sweet 16.

[laughs]

Very unusual.
I think I found a blue ball.

Did anyone have blue ba*ls?

Jus?

I'm not sure what this is.

I don't think it's natural.

So we'll just keep sticking
to the outside of this house

and make sure that they don't
have anything nearby.

[Mike] There it is,


[Justin] Yeah,
there's couple in here.

- Twenty-three, right here.
- [Justin] A little hot pocket.

[indistinct] Fast now.

What are you building in here,
Mr. Jackson?

[both laughs]

[Mike] Well,
you gotta love 24.

Super happy.
You've done so well.

You know what,
you can take those guys home

with you if you want,
just don't leave them here.

What goes on to your basement?

- All kinds of stuff.
- I just glanced in the wood,

I didn't mean to pry,
but there I was

saving some scorpions
and it looks like...

I have to give you
a tour over my hobby room.

Chris,
what happen to this guy,

his hobby
just got out of control?

He's an inventor.
He's always been like this.

My favorite thing
that he's invented,

that he's building,
is the automatic doggy doors.

And you're gonna show me
that right now just...

- Absolutely.
- ...Real quick.

This 'cause, I mean, how much
weird can night get...

Come on over, Mike.
It's pretty...

[Chris] Go on.

- Holy cow, who is this?
- [Chris] That's Dolly.

Dolly and Madison.

- And she lets herself out.
- [Mike] Uh-huh.

[Chris] Dolly doggy
gets to the room out here

[indistinct] Chihuahua
recreation area.

[Mike] Get out of here.

- Good grief.
- Is this fantastic?

[Narrator]
Is it a classic dirty job?

No. But it's a weird night.

And that's gotta account
for something.

Twenty-four less things
to worry about.

[Chris] Yes. Yes. Yeah.

[Narrator] And while
scorpions rarely k*ll humans,

a chihuahua
like Daisy here or Dolly,

or whoever this is,
doesn't stand a chance.

I just love it.

This whole thing happened
because of Dolly and Daisy.

[Chris] Yes.

[Narrator] And so, once again,
for your consideration,

we present two different
but dangerous dirty jobs.

One in the desert,

the other
in the upper midwest,

both essential,
both inherently risky.

For Justin, the sweep
for scorpions

will continue
long after I'm gone.

For Roger and Scott,

even with retirement looming,

they're still on the job
plying their trade

to keep the rest of us
on the move,

even as we stand
perfectly still

waiting for the ride to end.

Where is that Turkey?

[Scott] Hey, are you hungry?

[Mike] No. I still
don't turn my back on him.

I don't trust him.
All right. There you go.

[Scott] Hey,
there's your Turkey.

[Mike] There he is.

[Scott] Careful,
he's behind you.

[laughs]

Yeah, that's when
the [indistinct]

Went off the rails.

How cool was that?

When we started
chasing turkeys.

Yeah.