01x33 - Muttketeer

[bunniefuu]

Sniffing out an adventure with

Wishbone on the trail. Come on,

Wishbone.

What's the story, Wishbone?

What's the story, Wishbone?

What's the story, Wishbone?

What's the story, Wishbone?

Hey, Wishbone.

Hey, Joe. Buddy, pal. Long time no see.

Wait, Mr. Del Carter wanted to show us

that new CD-ROM. Oh,

yeah, I forgot. CD-ROMs. Hey, wait up,

you guys. I happen to know all about

CD-ROMs. You better let me show you how

it works. Guys. Hello.

Door, please. I want to be

one of the few, the proud, the educated.

I want to go to school like Joe, Sam and

David. Hey, guys, I knew you

wouldn't forget me. Whoops. Hello, Sir.

I'm here for the CD-ROM demonstration. No

dogs allowed in school. Oh, a good rule,

Sir. I'll let you know if I see any.

Sir. Go on. Go on, Mutt.

Mutt. Did you say Mutt?Get out of here.

ScatScatHey, hey,

you. I'll have you know I have three very

good friends in there who come to school

every day. Joe,

Sam, David. Hey, you

guys, come on, open up.

I want to be in there with you guys, just

the way D'Atagnon wanted to be in The

Musketeers. D'Artagnan was the handsome

young hero of the Three Musketeers by

French author Alexandre Dumas.

D'Artagnan was just a puppy from the

country who came to Paris in 1625.

The city was torn between two leaders who

both wanted all the power. Evil

Cardinal Richelieu and

the good King Louis XIII. The

musketeers were on the good side. They

were the king's personal guards.

D'Artagnan arrived at their headquarters

with nothing except his dogged

determination to become a great

musketeer. All right, people,

let me in!

Okay, that's right. I'm big,

I'm bad, I'm...

overwhelmed.

Wow. These guys are good.

OK, this is it. Don't be nervous.

Just jump right in.

Whoops.

You clumsy wag. How dare you?Um,

excuse me?Excuse me?You

embarrass a musketeer and all you can say

is excuse me?You need a

lesson in manners, you insolent pup, and

I'll be the one to give it to you. I

challenge you to a duel tomorrow at noon

near the Comme de Show. I'll be there and

we'll see who learns the lesson,Monsieur.

You are too pretty. Can

I tell you half the time?He looks like a

friendly fellow. Swindled all four of

them. Let me tell you.

Your Cape is impressive, Sir. The fringe

is coming unstitched. Who dares to pull

on my cape?Are you trying to ambush me?

Oh, no. You misunderstand. I, a

musketeer, I misunderstand.

Perhaps you can enlighten me tomorrow in

a duel at noon time. I'm booked for noon.

How's 1:00?One o'clock. Neither calm to

show.

Well, I'm certainly making an impression.

A chance to do a good deed.

You seem to have dropped your

handkerchief, sir. It is not mine.

It must belong to a lady friend. No, it

does not. Could I have a moment alone

with this mongrel?

Since I am studying to be a priest, I

could not possibly have a lady's

handkerchief. Then why are you taking it?

Her behavior is most rude.

Meet me for a duel tomorrow near the

Conda shop. I can fit you in it too.

So be it. Three

duels in one day?I'll be a

musketeer yet.

Well, now I'm determined to get in.

Time for Stealth Dog to go in under

their radar.

OK, guys, wait till I show you this

new CD-ROM. Once you've seen the

beauty of fractal geometry, you'll

understand how math can be art.

What's wrong?I think you crashed. I don't

understand. Your poor

connections must be bad.

Mr. Delgado, look.

It looks like something chewed it.

Mort. Mort?Mort the lab

rat?How could he get in here?Actually,

he's been loose all week. He's chewed up

half the school. This has got to stop. The

place looks as secure as a fortress, but

there is always a weak spot.

Ah, hello, open window.

A rat?They let a rat inside the school,

but not a dog. Well, that's just fine.

What is the world coming to?

Still, I've got my opening.

Stealth Dog discovers the secret entrance

and makes his move.

Ouch.

Stealth Dog is inside at last. I

just hope I'm not in over my head.

Well, now I guess I'll see if my bite

lives up to my bark. Good day,

Monsieur. Am I late?No, No I'm

early. My second should arrive soon and

then we can begin. Who will be your

seconds?Nobody. I'm new in town and I

don't know anyone. My name is d'Artagnan.

I am supposed to fight this man at one

o'clock. And ah, at two. I have the

pleasure first. Unfortunately, he may be

unable to keep his appointments with the

two of you. Are you ready?

I am always ready. You know,

young man, you have a noble heart. Under

different circumstances, we might have

become friends. Well,

let's begin. Stop, musketeers!

I command you to stop in the name of His

Eminence, Cardinal Richelieu. The

Cardinal has issued an order that

expressly forbids dueling.

We serve His Majesty, the King, and we

won't be told what to do by any of

Richelieu's lackeys. Is

that a threat?Consider it an

invitation. And you leave us no

choice but to attack.

Gentlemen, there are five of them and

only three of us. That's where you're

wrong. There are four of us. But you're

not one of us. I have the heart of a

musketeer. Let me prove it to you.

En garde, Monsieur.

You'll have to do better than that.

I would have thought a Cardinal's guard

to be more of a challenge.

This is the part where you say touché.

Go on.

There will be absolutely no

backstabbing in this duel.

Well done, young friend. I know that I am

not yet worthy to be a Musketeer. But

will you allow me to serve as your

apprentice, gentlemen?Not only our

apprentice, but our friend. We will groom

you for service as a musketeer and teach

you all our best tricks. I am Atos. This

is Portos and Aramee. We are known

everywhere as the three inseparables.

You, D'Artagnan, are now a member of our

club. All for one and one for all. Shall

we make that our motto?Let's put out our

hands in agreement. All for one

and one for all.

Look at all the stuff.

Well, it's not exactly the executive

suite, but you've got to start somewhere.

I've tried everything to catch that rat.

He's smarter than you think. Stealth

dog looks for the scent. I

smell a red. Well, Mort

is costing us money by destroying school

property. You're right. Well, today's the

day. I'm going to get him. Oh, I'll get

him. I'm the best rodent catcher in town.

No, seriously, I am. Even cats come to me

for advice. I've got my

assignment. I'll show them they can't run

this school without me. Well, I'm going

to go to the hardware store and load up

on traps. And we'll go pick up a new

power cable for the computer. Thanks,

guys.

Uh oh

They call me Stealth Dog.

All right, Mark. The place is surrounded.

Come out with your beady little eyes

where I can see them and nobody gets

hurt. Playing hard to get, huh

Well, this school isn't big enough for

the two of us.

Stealth Dog understands the value of

concealment. Now, which way did he go?

I'm on his turf, and he's a clever

opponent. So... Think

rat. Ah,

the science lab. This is

where it all started. If I just put my

nose to work, I'm sure I'll find

something. Hey, you there.

You seen a rat?We'll talk later.

OK. Ah,

I know he's close. I'm silent as a

panther, quick as a fox, nerves of

steel.

Did you

see the face on that thing?

to face with your enemy, just like

d'Artagnan.

Bonjour! Anybody home?

You are d'Artagnan. Wow! From Bern.

Cardinal Michelieu. Sit down here before

me.

You came to Paris seven months ago.

Why, yes. Your friendship with

Monsieurs Atos, Portos and Aromi of the

King's musketeers has brought you much

adventure. How did you know?It

is my business to know.

You're brave, Monsieur, and you're

prudent, which is better still.

Young as you are, you have created some

powerful enemies. If you do not

take great heed, they will destroy you.

But what can I do?You could

choose to serve another master.

Me. Sorry, I came here

to be in His Majesty's musketeers.

Monsieur,

you came to Paris with the ambitious

idea of making your fortune. I

am at the age of extravagant hopes. There

are no extravagant hopes except for

fools. Serve in my

guards. Let me guide you.

Sorry, I won't just roll over on my

friends. You refuse me?

Please try not to take it personally,

your eminence. Keldamash.

Remember, at a later period, if any

mischance should happen to befall you,

I offered you protection.

I'll just see myself out.

The Cardinal wasn't D'Artagnan's only

problem. He made another enemy, Milady,

a cat who purrs one minute and scratches

the next. How could I be a Cardinal's

guard?Ridiculous.

Purr-fectly correct, Monsieur. What?

Oh, you are so beautiful. I

thought you were a piece of art. You are

too kind and too

handsome. I am d'Artagnan. A

musketeer. I know you already.

You may address me as M'lady.

I have a question. sh**t. Why do you

waste your time with those rough

musketeers?You could live in the lap of

luxury. My lap, to be

precise. I swore a duty to the king.

The king is weak.

Stick with the strong. I am sorry,

M'lady, but this dog won't hunt for you.

You can trust my word. No

offense.

I never take offense. I take

revenge. You're a dead

dog.

Bartos, where are Arami and Atos?

D'artagnan, what is wrong?Well, I've

got some good news and some bad news. The

good news is that I've just met Cardinal

Richelieu and M'lady. And?

And the bad news is that they hate me.

They have spies everywhere. You must be

careful, my friend. We will be on

guard for you. Your enemies are

our enemies. Thank you, my friends. I'll

see what I can sniff out.

Doggone it. Lost the scent.

It could be anywhere.

Well, now there's something you don't see

every day. If what I know about gravity

is true, any minute now, that thing is

going to... What the?

Aha! A vicious sneak attack, huh

OK, Rat, now it's personal.

I could really use some reinforcements.

D'Artagnan had the Three Musketeers to

help him catch his enemies, Richelieu and

Maleni. Give

me your hand.

No, give me your hand.

Let's walk in the garden. It's lovely

this time of year, Cardinal Richelieu.

What did you wish to speak to me about?

As one of my most successful spies,

m'lady, I must now ask you to carry out a

very dangerous mission. Tell

me what it is. I

want you to assassinate the Duke of

Buckingham. He's an enemy of France and

must be removed.

I'll do it. As long as I get something in

return. I'm not a mere cat's

paw, a mere tool to be

used. I have my price.

Name it. Allow me to

k*ll that wretched d'Artagnan.

But he is a courageous young fighter.

That's why he's so dangerous. He

fights for the wrong side. I'll

trade you. A life

for a life. Hmm

Very well. I

did warn him he could get hurt.

I'd like your permission in writing, just

so there's no confusion later.

Thank you, Your Eminence. Uh, a

carte gloss. How

comforting.

I must go now. Let me leave

first. We mustn't be seen

together.

Sculpture is so lifelike these

days, isn't it?What do you want from me?

How dare you spy on me?You'll

suffer for this. I'm not afraid of you.

Hand over the carte blanche. Never.

This is my passport for revenge.

Please be reasonable about this.

If you want it, you'll have to take it

from me. We

asked you nicely.

Milady, the paper,

please.

A token of our appreciation.

Milady turned d'Artagnan in as a traitor,

but the musketeers had an ace up their

sleeves, de carte blanche. It's like the

ultimate hall pass. It means you can do

anything you want, anytime you want.

D'Artagnan, I seek you in the name of the

king. You are under arrest. You

have got to be kidding. Surrender your

sword to me, Monsieur. I'm ordered to

present you to His Eminence, Cardinal

Richelie. How convenient.

We just happen to be going that way. He

must be put under my guards. We

will be his guards. Upon our word.

Upon our word, Datagnon shall

not leave us.

Stiltgal recognizes the advantage of

having a good lookout point.

You. I'm on a stakeout. Shh. I'm

afraid I'm going to have to put you out.

I don't think so.

Hey, did you just see a big furry rats?

Rats. This is it.

Joe. Sam. David. We've got

him now. He's up the other stairs.

Where's he from?Follow me.

Mr. Braskill.

You ignored my warnings, young man.

Serious charges have been brought against

you. You will probably hang

for them. Oh, I very much doubt that,

your eminence. Do you realize that I am

both judge and jury?

Exactly. And you've already written my

pardon. Take a gander at this carte

blanche. It

is by my order and for the good of the

state that the bearer of

this has done what he has done.

Recognize the handwriting. I

believe it is mine.

I have taken from you one carte blanche

to give you another. This is a

commission to be a lieutenant in the

Musketeers. The name is

blank. You may write it

yourself. I have three

friends who deserve this more than I do.

You are a brave youth, d'Artagnon. Do

with this commission what you will.

I mean it. One of you should take this.

Nobody's more worthy than yourself. Of

course. I taught him everything he knows.

Is that so?En garde.

Ungar. As you wish.

A musketeer and a lieutenant. This

is a dream come true. Ungar!

All for one and one for all.

All right, we've got him cornered now.

OK, Mr. Brassfield, take over.

That's it. Get him. Pounce on him. Grab

him.

Oh yeah, that was really impressive. Way

to take charge. Well, he got bigger.

Never send a man to do a dog's job.

OK, plan, plan, need a plan. Quick plan.

I've

got the right altitude. Stealth dog to

Bombardier. We have the target in sight.

Ready. Aim.

Bombs away!

Yes!

And here comes the cavalry. Late as

usual. Mr. Brasfield, I'm sorry. I don't

know how Wishbone got in here. Oh, don't

apologize. He caught Mort. Thank you,

citizen. All in a day's work for Stealth

Dog. As far as I'm concerned, anytime he

wants to come to school, he can be my

guest. Yes! Let's take a tour right

now!

Oops. I changed my mind. No dogs in

school. Here we go again! Woo-hoo!

Come back here. Stop, stop, stop

One of the funnest things about doing the

fantasy segments on the show is I no

longer have the furriest face. In fact,

compared to these guys, I look downright

clean-shaven.

Getting into makeup can be a hassle,

but all natural vegetable dye sure does

taste good. Human makeup reacts very

differently to animal fur, so kids, don't

put makeup on your pets. The Three

Musketeers by Alexander Dumas is loaded

with heroic deeds, damsels in distress,

and lots of guys with hairy faces. See ya!