02x07 - Yakko Amakko/The Longest Word/Happy Narfday/Magna Cartoon

[bunniefuu]

theme song playing ♪

- It's time for Animaniacs! ♪

And we're zany to the max ♪

So just sit back and relax ♪

You'll laugh till you collapse ♪

We're Animaniacs! ♪

- Come join the Warner Brothers ♪

- And the Warner Sister Dot ♪

Just for fun, we run around

the Warner movie lot ♪

They lock us in the tower

whenever we get caught ♪

But we break loose and then vamoose

and now you know the plot ♪

We're Animaniacs ♪

Dot has wit and Yakko yaks ♪

Wakko packs away the snacks ♪

Our careers have made comebacks ♪

We're Animaniacs! ♪

Meet Pinky and the Brain

who want to rule the universe ♪

A brand new cast who tested well

in focus group research ♪

Gender balanced, pronoun neutral ♪

And ethnically diverse ♪

The trolls will say we're so passé,

but we did meta first ♪

We're Animaniacs ♪

You should see our new contracts ♪

We're zany to the max,

there's baloney in our slacks ♪

We're animan-ey, totally insane-y ♪

- Are you not entertain-ey-ed? ♪

- Animaniacs! Those are the facts ♪

♪

- You know, I was gonna vote no

to WB canceling our health plan,

but that unlimited-dairy-free-

ice-cream-for-a-whole-hour-counter

was too good to refuse.

Ah!

[crash]

Ow!

Good thing I'm impervious

to physical harm.

Ahh-- [silence]

[beeping]

[screaming]

[grunts]

[gasps]

Listen, hot shot, I am trying

to eat a balanced lunch here.

[spitting, choking]

- Zis is not something

I would usually say,

but, uh, things may be

moving a little fast for moi.

- Hey. Bring back my health

insurance ice cream, pal.

- No! No! Please, mon cheri!

Do not erase me! The void,

she is cold and dark and--

- And I want extra scoops for the trouble!

[spitting] Rum raisin?!

Now, it's personal.

[grunts] Listen, you lazy hack,

Looney Tunes very famously did this

"animator gets screwy with

lovable protagonist" routine,

like, 100 years ago.

[beeping, clicking]

♪

And that hole-in-the-sky gag

was straight out of Portal 2.

Which was a straight-up

ripoff of Portal 1,

which took it from Sliders, which borrowed

from Time Bandits, that stole it from--

Oh. And now the Cheshire Cat bit.

Give me a body before you get us sued!

Ah.

[screaming]

[shatter]

I thought we were past all this?!

whistling theme song ♪

[gasps] Hey!

♪

You know, most people like me.

I'll bet I can win you over.

I'll sing you a song!

People love my beautiful tenor voice.

United States, Canada,

Mexico, Panama ♪

Haiti, Jamaica, Peru ♪

[Ralph's voice]

Republic duh ♪

Duh Dominican.

[glass shattering]

Duh, poor Ralph.

He never stood a chance with this voice.

[laughs] Change me back into a Warner.

[clicking, beeping]

[Dot's voice]

I meant a Warner brother.

[clicking, beeping]

[Wakko's voice]

I meant

Actually, wait.

I've always wanted to try this.

[Ringo impression] People used to say

there better drummers than me,

even in The Beatles.

People can be real jerks.

[normal voice] You know,

I was always more of a George guy anyway.

How about I go back to being the rapier

wit who carries this whole operation,

and you go back to being

the paint-by-numbers

wannabe artiste. Hm?

[clicking, beeping]

artsy music ♪

And while you're at it,

why don't you cut your ear off?

[clicking, beeping]

I've heard of abstract animation,

but this is ridiculous!

[clicking, beeping]

♪

It's 2:67 already?

Let's wrap this sketch up!

[groans]

[breathes deeply]

Just walk away, Yakko.

Be the bigger man.

[high-pitched] Small things amuse

small minds. Give me my height back!

[beeping]

[grunts]

And my width.

[clicking]

[grunts] And my depth!

[clicking, beep]

Alright, wise guy. You picked the wrong

beloved animation icon to torment.

I am one of a kind.

[clicking, beeping]

♪

I'm having an

- Existential

ALL:

Crisis?

- On the bright side,

our Yakkstreet Boys tribute band idea

just became a lot more feasible.

- I call Nick Carter!

- Which one am I?

YAKKOS: Howie D!

- Ah! I give up!

You win! Just please

don't draw me a bunch of extra arms!

Anything but that!

[grunt, struggling]

♪

- Have mercy on me, Yakko.

Outside of my vintage console collection,

ironic '90s T-shirts,

and my blog critiquing the overuse

of plot armor in the last two seasons

of Game Of Thrones,

tormenting my cartoons

is the only outlet I have.

And you're my favorite Warner sibling.

I mean, honest, really. You are.

- Well, I mean, yeah. Of course.

Alright, sister,

I'll let you off the hook,

but you are gonna do something for me.

[birds chirping]

[clicking, beep]

- Unt how does zat make you feel?

- Nein. How does zat make you feel?

- Nein, nein, nein. I'm asking you

how does zat make you feel?

[clang]

[grunting, strain]

[high-pitched grunting]

- Mein gains!

- Which is why we can expect sustained

[clicking, beeping]

[Daffy Duck's voice]

increases in studio profitability.

Say, do we even have

the right to use this voice?

♪

[projector clicking, beep]

NARRATOR: It's time for another mandatory

Warner Brothers Educational Content Break.

And now, the Longest Word

in the English Language.

With Yakko Warner.

- Antidisestablishmentarianism.

Defined as being

"against dis establishment

and all dat nasty tarianism."

Used in a sentence,

"what's a guy gotta do to get some

antidisestablishmentarianism around here?"

Any questions?

- Yeah, I got one.

Why do you always get to be the teacher?

- [spit] Because I'm the smarty-pants.

In fact, I'm the only pants!

[smash]

Yes, Wakko?

- You know, I bet I could be

a better teacher than you.

- Oh please. I'm the one who thought

about doing Teach For America.

- That doesn't mean anything.

They let everybody in.

- But I know one who just

found an even longer word!

- Hoo-hoo-hoo! Busted!

- Which means I get to be the teacher now!

NARRATOR: And now, the Longest Word

in the English Language

with Wakko Warner.

- You see, children,

the actual longest word is

floccinaucinihilipilification.

Defined as "the habit of deeming

something as worthless."

YAKKO: Psh!

I'll tell you what's worthless.

A word with eight I's.

- Like a spider!

- You're thinking of legs.

Spiders have eight legs.

- No, they also have eight eyes.

- No, they don't.

- Sounds like somebody needs

a special visit from Mr. Spider!

- Oh boy.

- [pompous voice]

Most spiders have eight eyes,

but some have fewer,

and some have as many as 12!

[normal voice]

Huh. I guess we were both right. Wow!

- Thanks, Mr. Spider!

I learned a new fact today!

- [pompous voice]

That's wonderful, Yakko!

But the most important lesson

of all is to be yourself!

And friendship.

- [growls] I'm not a baby!

♪

- [normal voice] Hm.

Looks like somebody needs a nap.

- No. I've never been more awake.

You two chumps settle in.

It's time for me to be the teacher.

Hey, Mr. Voice! Drop that title card.

[clang]

NARRATOR: And now,

the Longest Word in the English Language

with Dot Warner.

♪

- You see this word?

Pneumonoultramicroscopic-

silicovolcanoconiosis?

It's over 40 letters.

- Wow! What does it mean?

- No speaking unless spoken to! [grunts]

[smash]

- Did that count as being spoken to?

Can I talk now?

- No!

- Well, if no one can

speak until spoken to,

and you won't let us say anything,

how are you allowed to talk?

- I uh I don't know.

- Teaching's not as

easy as it looks, is it?

You have to grade papers,

you have to prepare lesson plans,

meet with parents.

Most teachers

work 12 to 14 hours a day.

- Or I can kick back

and read a romance novel

while you kids watch a video.

BOTH:

Yay!

- Apparently, this is

a show where four nerds

explain the Big Bang Theory.

And I'm putting it on in Spanish,

so it counts as your foreign language.

[smash]

NERD 1 [TV] Hola, geeko.

NERD 2 [TV] Ay barringa.

[sitcom laughter]

- Guess the comedy

gets lost in translation?

- Nope!

- And that concludes our lesson on

lowbrow hack sitcom creation

that further bleeds dry

the already endangered

American imagination.

Good night, everybody!

[thunder]

Pinky & the Brain theme playing ♪

- Gee, Brain,

what do you wanna do tonight?

- The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world!

[thunder]

♪

- They're Pinky and the Brain ♪

Yes, Pinky and the Brain ♪

One is a genius ♪

The other's insane ♪

They're laboratory mice ♪

Their genes have been spliced ♪

They're dinky,

they're Pinky and the Brain ♪

Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain ♪

♪

♪

[beep]

[airhorn]

- Ah!

- Happy Narfday!

- What? No, already?

- Yep! It's my birthday!

The one day we don't try

to take over the world

and do everything I wanna do,

no matter what! [laughs]

- [sighs] Pinky--

- Nope! It's not Pinky today.

Today, I want you to call me Geraldo!

- Why would I call you Geraldo, Pinky?

- No, no. Just Geraldo, not Geraldo Pinky.

On second thought,

I sorta like the sound of that.

Geraldo Pinky

Actually, what if I

shortened it to just Pinky?

Ooh! I like that best.

Call me Pinky today, Brain.

[beep]

- Pinky, it's midnight.

- I know! So, we'd better get started!

- Started? Started doing what?

- All the things on my

birthday list, silly! Zort!

- You must be joking.

- Oh, not yet.

Joking happens around la la la

8 AM!

Oh, Brain, it's gonna be

the bestest Narfday ever!

- Yes, Pinky, it's going to be

more fun than a craniotomy.

- [laughs] Good one, Brain,

but save the jokes for 8:00,

will you, darling?

Also, what's a crani-o-totomy?

- Never mind,

my feeble-minded friend. Never mind.

Today is your day,

so let's get it over with, shall we?

punk music playing ♪

PINKY [scream-singing]

Narf up, narf down, narf it all around ♪

It's my Narfday! ♪

Narf in, narf out, narf it all about ♪

It's my Narfday! ♪

[people screaming]

Narf side to side,

narf far and wide ♪

Narf wherever you decide ♪

It's my Narfday! It's my Narfday! ♪

♪

Zort narf poit!

Nobody knows what a Narfday will bring ♪

Giggles or magic or cheese ♪

I just know that Narfdays are fine ♪

'Cause Narfdays are all about me, yes! ♪

Narf up, narf down, narf it all around ♪

It's my Narfday! ♪

Narf in, narf out, narf it all about ♪

It's my Narfday! ♪

Don't try-- ♪

[screaming]

♪

- [sighs] Alright, Pinky.

I think we've had enough

fun for one day. I

Pinky? Pinky!

Pinky, where are you going?

- Well, we got kicked out of

the spa sooner than I'd planned, Brain,

but I was able to shuffle

a few things around.

- How is it that any time I ask you to do

the most minuscule undertaking,

it's plagued with disaster,

but you seem to have today flawlessly

mapped out to the very millisecon--

Ah!

♪

PINKY:

I don't know, Brain!

I guess it's because these are things

I want to do!

- What are you saying?!

- [gasp] Street beans!

BRAIN: What?!

PINKY: Ah!

[both grunting]

[Pinky laughing]

- Street beans, Brain.

Ooh, you haven't had a good street bean

until you've had one here.

- They're called string beans, Pinky.

- No, String Beans Pinky

is my jazz name.

These are street beans.

Mm, sidewalky.

You gotta try some, Brain!

- That's quite alright, Pinky.

- Suit yourself.

- Huh? Is that

Can't be

- Mm. [smacking]

What is it, Brain? [gasps]

Oh dear, do I got food on me face?

- No, I just, uh I'll be right back.

- Okay, but don't expect me

to save any street bean for you!

Ow!

Ooh! Sky beans!

- It has to be a replica.

Hieroglyphics with origins from Thebes.

Handcrafted copper from Luxor.

The ancient Egyptian relic

containing Astatine-203,

and I find it here at a hipster swap meet!

[maniacal laughter]

Ha

This is the missing ingredient

for my absolute zero theory!

And with it, I will hold the world ransom

with a gaseous absolute zero cloud!

[maniacal laughter]

PINKY: Brain?

Brain!

Where are you?

- Oh no.

If Pinky finds out I've been making

world domination plans on his

special day, I'll never

hear the end of it.

- There you are!

What you doing up here, Brain?

- Me? No, uh, nothing.

Just nothing at all.

- Oh. But, we're not supposed

to do nothing until 5:15.

Hey, what's that behind your back?

- Oh, this?

Uh, it-it's, uh, it's your

birthday present, of course!

- [gasps] Egad, Brain,

I just love it!

What is it?

- It's an amulet

containing an extremely rare isotope.

It's priceless.

- Oh Well, I don't care

how much you spent on it, Brain,

it's the thought that counts.

- No! Be very, very careful

with that, Pinky!

If you break it,

my entire plan will be ruined!

- Plan? What plan?

- Um [clears throat]

My plan for you to have

the best Narfday ever!

Surely, destroying your birthday present

is not on that list of yours.

- Oh, that's very sweet, Brain,

but I don't need some silly ambulance--

- Amulet.

- Omelet?

- Amulet.

- Am-alet?

- Close. Am-u-let.

- Got it! [clears throat]

Fancy feast!

- Good god, no.

- It feels like we're saying

the same thing.

Anyway, I don't need

anything but your friendship

to have the best Narf day ever.

- Well, that's that's

very kind of you to say.

- And I mean it. Zort!

Now, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

- No, Pinky. The mere thought of

delving into your cranial activity

gives me a migraine.

- Righto!

It's your turn to sing my Narf day song!

- No. Absolutely not.

- But, Brain

Please

- Oh fine.

- Yay!

And a one, and a two, and a three,

and a uh [sighs]

- Four.

- Four! Hit it!

punk music playing ♪

BRAIN [unenthusiastically]

Narf up, narf down, narf it all around ♪

It's his Narfday ♪

[squawking]

Narf in, narf out, narf it all about ♪

'Cause it's his Narfday ♪

Narf side to side, narf far and wide ♪

Narf wherever he decides ♪

It's his Narfday, it's his Narfday ♪

[crowd cheering]

It's his Narfday, it's his Narfday! ♪

Stupid Narfday! ♪

♪

[yawning]

- That was the bestest Narf day

I ever did have, Brain. Thank you.

- No, Pinky. Thank you.

[Pinky giggles]

♪

[snoring]

- Narf, narf, narf, narf, narf

Brain? W-where you going

with my birthday present?

- I-I just realized

I never had it polished.

[squeaking]

- That's alright, Brain.

I like it just the way it is.

- I must insist.

- Really, Brain, it-it's fine.

- No, no, Pinky. I insist.

- Brain

- Pinky

- Brain

[both struggling]

- No!

♪

[gasps]

[yawn, smacking]

[sighs]

[flapping, chirping]

♪

[growling]

- Oh, don't beat yourself up, Brain.

I liked the ambulance, sure,

but my real birthday present

was getting to spend the day

with my best friend.

- Pinky, do you realize what you've done?

That amulet

contained the missing ingredient

for my absolute zero theory!

With it, I could've taken over the world!

- Y-you mean you just wanted

my present for yourself?

- Of course I did.

The thought of world domination

was the only thing that kept me sane

during the barrage of asinine expeditions

that you took me on today.

- Oh.

I-I see. Then,

I guess we can forget about

the last thing on my list, hm?

- Indubitably. Look.

♪

Your birthday is officially over, Pinky.

- I know that, Brain.

It's been over for weeks.

- What? What do you mean?

- My birthday was last month.

I was gonna remind you,

but you're always so busy

trying to take over the world that,

well, I didn't want to distract you.

♪

- Perhaps I did end up solving my

absolute zero theory after all, Pinky.

For I am an absolute zero

when it comes to being a friend.

Can you ever forgive me?

- Mm, sure I can, Brain.

That's what friends do.

But, can we do the last

thing on my birthday list?

- Of course, Pinky. Whatever you want.

- I want to take over the world.

- [sighs] Come, Pinky.

Then we must prepare for tomorrow night.

- Why, Brain? What are

we gonna do tomorrow night?

- Are you serious? You just said

[sighs] Never mind.

The same thing we do every night, Pinky.

Try to take over the world!

- Yay!

[crash]

♪

- Hey, hey, hey, hey.

No time for backstory, George Lucas.

This is a five minute sketch.

Places, people! Places!

[clapping]

And action.

- W-what is the meaning of this nonsense?

- Johnny, sweetie, relax.

We're jesters. We jest.

- So, uh, you're a tyrant, huh?

- [giggles] Well, I try. [giggles]

I crush the odd dissenter,

boil the odd conspirator,

filet the odd peasant.

- Oh, stop! You're making me hungry!

I haven't had lunch!

- You know, I've always

had a thing for bad boys.

[gag, vomits]

[gasping, spitting]

Haven't showers been invented yet?!

♪

- Well, no.

- Oh. Yeah, right.

[gasps]

[gasps]

[grunting]

[growling]

[gasping, groaning]

♪

- [baby talk] Who's a good king? You are!

- Guards! Seize them!

- Hey! You can't arrest

us for anachronisms!

- Anarchy? Did he just say anarchy?

Oh no! 'Tis the civil w*r

we've long feared!

To arms! To arms!

[screaming, smashing]

YAKKO:

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Hold your horsemen, Jack.

If it's civil w*r you seek to eschew,

we've got just the historical doc for you.

- A manuscript most major,

mooted for His Magnificence's musing.

- I'm listening.

- A parchment for your peepers to peruse,

that those privy may

prevent protest from both

plebeian and patrician alike.

- Yes, yes, go on.

- Again, it's almost lunch time,

and I'm starving!

Verily.

- Send them to the dicing chambers!

♪

- For lunch?

- For dicing!

- Just read this.

- What is it? And make it quick.

I have a peasant quartering

to attend after lunch.

- Oh sure. He gets lunch.

DOT:

This is the Magna Carta, Your Majesty.

Your salvation. Simply sign it swiftly,

and sedition is certain to subside.

- Ugh! This is silly.

- Silly! Very good.

Let us explain.

- Don't be coy, old Johnny boy ♪

We have seen what you decreed ♪

You've taxed

and pillaged every village ♪

And ignored their every need ♪

- So, we wrote the Magna Carta ♪

- Which is Latin for Great Charter ♪

- And you'd do well lest folk rebel ♪

To sign this clever creed ♪

- The British Isles

will have fair trials ♪

And I'll tell you what's more ♪

Neither king nor son nor anyone

will be above the law ♪

WAKKO:

So, if you're to have a hope ♪

DOT:

And win the blessings of the Pope ♪

- You can't decline, you'll have

to sign, or face a civil w*r ♪

DOT: Though you'll be vexed,

this deed's effects ♪

Go far beyond this region,

you can stamp and shout and whine about ♪

This blatant act of treason ♪

- Guards!

WAKKO: But we demand habeas corpus ♪

- Meaning tyrants should be cautious ♪

- No more arrests at

the king's behest ♪

For now you'll need a reason ♪

- Unless you're craving one more

bathing, embrace legal restitution ♪

Church and state will separate

or there'll be regal revolution ♪

- And the message then will spread ♪

- Like liberty butter on freedom bread ♪

- Through the ages to the pages

of the US Constitution ♪

- In 800 years, to people's cheers,

these words will further travel ♪

To unclasp each despot's grasp,

and to ensure their reigns unravel ♪

- Rights were granted at our birth ♪

- To every corner of the Earth ♪

WAKKO:

From United Nations declarations ♪

ALL: Down to every judge's gavel ♪

♪

- Okay. [panting] That has to work.

- What is the United Nations?

And what is the US Constitution?

And what on Earth is liberty butter?!

- Listen, John-O,

just sign or get off the throne.

- Yeah. I mean, surely you'd do

anything to prevent another civil w*r.

- I'd do anything to prevent another song!

- That'll do! Just sign here

and here and here and here.

- We did it! And there's still

a little time left on the clock.

- Huh. We're not usually that efficient.

What should we do now?

YAKKO:

Say, KJ,

would you like to hear all about

the Battle of Hastings?

Hit it, lute boy!

♪

- I abdicate!

I abdicate!

I abdicate!

[crash]

- Goodbye, everybody!

♪