03x06 - Tim Allen

[bunniefuu]

what's the story amigos

this is kino with some cool stories for

today's story time

[Applause]

in our first story we'll meet three

little wolves who are very scared of the

big bad pig

he huffed and he puffed

and he puffed

[Music]

and he huffed but the house wouldn't

fall down

then a wolf gives his side of the story

of the three little pigs in a book read

by tim

allen i just grabbed the doorknob when i

felt

another another sneeze coming out i uh

[Music]

major funding for story time is made

possible by a grant from helen and peter

bean

so that families everywhere can share

the joy of reading with their children

additional funding is provided by the

corporation for public broadcasting

and by the annual financial support from

viewers like you

[Music]

oh hi hi everybody hey listen i'm glad

you came because

angelica and cody and carolyn all came

to visit us today

and we were waiting for you so we could

read some really cool books right you

guys

right yeah right that's right listen do

you remember the story of the three

little pigs and the big bad wolf

yeah yeah i remember how that goes not

by the hair of my chinny chin chin

that's right well let me ask you

something in the story of the three

little pigs

who are the good guys and who are the

bad guys um

god the the great guys are the pigs and

bad guys the boss

are you sure yeah there's no real answer

for that one

you don't think there's a real answer no

well gosh

i think the wolf is the bad guy why

well because he goes around knocking the

pig's houses down

that's why they call him the big bad

wolf

wow what if i told you that i have a

book

about three little wolves and the big

bad pig oh not even

that's not how it goes you have it

backwards right you guys

yeah you think i have it backwards but

no i don't

look let me read you this book and then

you can tell me who the big bad guy is

okay

this book is called the three little

wolves and the big bad pig

and it was written by eugene trevisas

and illustrated

by helen oxenbury

once upon a time there were three cuddly

little wolves with

soft fur and fluffy tails who lived with

their mother the first was black

the second was gray and the third was

white

one day the mother called the three

little wolves around her and said

my children it is time for you to go out

into the world go and build a house for

yourselves

but beware of the big

bad pig

[Music]

don't worry mother we will watch out for

him said the three little wolves

and they set off

soon they met a kangaroo who was pushing

a wheelbarrow full of red and yellow

bricks

please will you give us some of your

bricks asked the three little wolves

certainly said the kangaroo and she gave

them lots of red and yellow bricks

so the three little wolves built

themselves a house of bricks

the very next day the big

bad pig came crawling down the road

and saw the house of bricks that the

little wolves had built

the three little wolves were playing

croquet in the garden

when they saw the big bad pig coming

they ran inside the house and locked the

door

the pig knocked on the door and grunted

little wolves little wolves

let me come in

no no no said the three little wolves by

the hair on our chinny-chin-chins we

will not let you in

not let you in for all the tea leaves in

our china teapot

then i'll huff and i'll puff

and i'll blow your house down said the

pig

so he huffed

and he puffed and he puffed

he huffed but the house wouldn't fall

down

but the pig wasn't called big and bad

for nothing

he went and fetched his sledgehammer and

knocked the house

down

oh the three little wolves only just

managed to escape before the bricks

crumbled

and they were very frightened indeed

we shall have to build a stronger house

they said

just then they saw a beaver who was

mixing concrete in a concrete mixer

please will you give us some of your

concrete asked the three little wolves

certainly said the beaver and he gave

them buckets and buckets

full of messy slurry concrete

so the three little wolves built

themselves a house of

concrete concrete no sooner had they

finished

than the big bad pig

came prowling down the road and saw the

house of concrete that the little wolves

had built

they were playing battle door and

shuttle in the garden

and when they saw the big bad pig coming

they ran inside their house and they

shut the door

the pig ran the bell and said little

frightened wolves

let me come in no no

no said the three little wolves by the

hair

on our chinny chin chins we will not let

you in

not for all the tea leaves in our china

teapot

then and uh

puff and i'll blow your house down

said the pig so he huffed

and he puffed and he puffed

and he huffed but the house

didn't fall down but the pig wasn't

called big and bad for nothing

he went and fetched his new magic drill

and smashed the house down

the three little wolves managed to

escape but their chinny chin chins were

trembling and trembling and trembling

we shall build an even stronger house

they said

because they were very determined

just then they saw a truck coming along

the road carrying barbed wire

iron bars armor plates and heavy metal

padlocks

please will you give us some of your

barbed wire

a few iron bars and armor plates and

some heavy metal padlocks

they said to the rhinoceros who was

driving the truck

sure said the rhinoceros and he gave

them plenty of barbed wire

iron bars armor plates and heavy metal

padlocks

he also gave them some plexiglass and

some reinforced steel chains because

he was a very generous and kind-hearted

rhinoceros

so the three little wolves built

themselves an extremely

strong house wouldn't you say yeah

it was the strongest securest house one

could possibly imagine

they felt absolutely safe

would you yeah sure

the next day the big bad pig

came crowling along the road as usual

the three little wolves were playing

hopscotch in the garden

when they saw the big bad pig coming

they ran inside their house bolted the

door and locked

all the 37 padlocks

pig dialed the video entrance phone and

said ah

little frightened wolves with the uh

trembling chins

let me come in no no no said the wolves

by the hair on our chinny chin chins we

will

not let you in not for all the tea

leaves in our china teapot

then i'll huh

and i'll pop and i'll blow your house

down

said the pig so we huffed

and he puffed and he puffed

and he huffed but the house

didn't fall down but the pig wasn't

called big and bad for nothing

he brought some dynamite laid it against

the house

lit the fuse and

the house blew up

oh the three little wolves just managed

to escape

with their fluffy tails scorched

something must be wrong with our

building materials they said

we have to try something different

but what

at that moment they saw a flamingo

coming along pushing a wheelbarrow

full of flowers please

will you give us some flowers ask the

little wolves

with pleasure said the flamingo and he

gave them

lots of flowers so the three little

wolves

built themselves a house of flowers

flowers

yeah one wall was of marigolds

one of daffodils one of pink roses

and one of cherry blossoms the ceiling

was made of sunflowers

and the floor was a carpet of daisies

they had water lilies in their bathtub

and

buttercups in their refrigerator it was

a rather fragile house

and it swayed in the wind oh it's very

beautiful

next day the big bad pig came

prowling down the road and saw the house

of flowers that the three little wolves

had built

he rang the blue bell at the door

and said uh uh

little frightened wolves with the

trembling chins and the scorched tails

let me come in no

no no said the three little wolves by

the hair

on our chinny chin chins we will not let

you in

not for all the tea leaves in our china

teapot

then i'll huff and i'll puff

and i'll blow your house down said the

pig

but as he took a deep breath

ready to huff and puff he smelled the

soft scent of the flowers ah

it was fantastic and because the scent

was so

lovely the pig took another

breath and another

and instead of huffing and puffing he

began to

sniff he sniffed deeper

and deeper until he was quite filled

with the fragrant scent

his heart grew tender and he realized

how horrible

he had been right then

he decided to become a big

good pig he started to sing and to dance

the tarantella

[Music]

at first the three little wolves were a

bit worried it might be a trick

but soon they realized that the pig had

truly changed so they came running out

of the house

they started playing games with him

first they played pig pug and then piggy

in the middle

[Music]

and when they were all tired they

invited him into the house

[Music]

they offered him tea and strawberries

and wolf berries of course

and asked him to stay with them as long

as he wanted

the pig accepted their invitation and

they all lived

happily together ever after

[Music]

well who do you think the bad guy was in

this story

i think that no one was the bad guy in

that story

and until the until well in the middle

he was a bad guy and at the end he

wasn't

you're right yeah that's right that's a

very good point

what do you think i think that he was

bad and good

that's right i guess we all can be kind

of good and bad

at the same time well you know that was

such a funny story because

it's like the story of the three little

pigs but now

the wolf was not the bad guy the pig was

a bad guy that's right

let me ask you something can a pig and a

wolf be friends

uh no yes no wait a minute i've got to

hear some sensors

yes and no yes and this in this book

they turned out to be

friends they can't be friends because

the wolf hunts

the piggers that's a very good point

what do you think you mean well for a

wolf and a pig to be friends

the wolf has to start eating veggies and

quit eating pork chops

and that's not gonna happen because meat

is what wolves are supposed to eat to

stay alive

my grandpa told me that well actually i

have a book here

with a picture of a real wolf and um

as you can see wolves and dogs

are they must be related because this

does look like a large dog

doesn't it but let me ask you something

what other stories can you think of

that have wolves in them little red

riding hood

oh yeah that's right absolutely that's a

great one what else

peter and the wolf yeah yeah peter and

the wolf that's good

three little pigs very good yeah

well you know wolves usually are the bad

guy in stories because

farmers you know would always think that

wolves were stealing their animals their

sheep and their pigs and their horses

and the wolves don't eat pigs well of

course

some of them do but problem is not as

common as people thought

well as my grandpa said wolves can't

help it

they're just doing what they're supposed

to eating other animals

that's what they eat wolves like deep

meat

keto likes three stories who said that

i don't know who said it but it doesn't

matter cause he's right

i like stories hi everybody

hi tim come on in

bye kids hi everybody hi everybody

hi mr allen no i heard you guys talking

about

wolves my favorite subject so i brought

one of my favorite stories about wolves

well which one is it

before i answer the question let me ask

all you this what if you were a wolf and

i said you're really bad

i'll scratch you i would think he's bad

i know what i'd say what would you say i

think i'd say

i'm not a bad guy i'm just a regular

wolf

see if i were a wolf i'd say no wait

what about my side of the story what if

the wolf had his own side of the story

see you should always listen to both

sides of the story before you make your

decision

i think that's right yes if i were a

wolf which you're not

which i'm not yes but if i were a wolf

and somebody said

i was bad i would say no i'm not

i'm just a regular sort of guy yeah

that's right now see if you asked a wolf

let's say if you asked me and i've said

i'm a wolf

look unless if i'm a wolf i would write

a book i

a wolf you would write a book i would

write a book called a wolf buy a wolf

but wolves can't

but wolves can't write wait a minute

though that book says

it's by by a wolf and i'm not talking

about buy buy that would mean buy a wolf

and how

how dumb it'd be to go to store and buy

a wolf can you just go up in the hills

and just you know dress like a chick and

they'll come down from then they'll just

eat you

they don't actually eat chicken they're

like chickens like anyway buy a wolf

you didn't right you're right wolves

can't write you're a little old for this

right so

you know that you know the truth i like

the book well wolves can paint

and wolves can dress well and wolves can

sing

and we'll some of them can drive buses

not cars but they can drive but they

cannot

write no they cannot write okay okay

they can't write because they got the

thing with the

with the with the with the fingers

hooves and pads

nothing to hold the pen there okay pull

the pin right again that's right

well let's hear the wolf side then yeah

and then we'll make up our minds about

who's the good guy and

who's the bad guy the true story of the

three little pigs

by a wolf it's a little play on words

everyone knows the story of the three

little pigs or at least they think they

do

but i'll let you know in a little secret

nobody knows the real story

because no one's ever heard my side of

the story

i'm the wolf alexander t

wolf you can call me hal

i don't know how this whole big bad wolf

thing got started but it's

all wrong maybe it's because of our diet

hey it's not my fault wolves eat cute

little animals like bunnies

and sheeps and pigs that's just the way

we are now look if cheeseburgers

were cute folks would probably think you

were big and bad too

[Music]

anyway like i was saying the whole big

bad wolf thing is all wrong

the real story is about a sneeze and a

cup of sugar

this is the real story

way back and once upon a time lynda's

making a birthday cake for our derral

granny

i had a terrible sneezing cold and i ran

out of sugar

so i walked down the street to ask my

neighbor for a cup of sugar

now this neighbor was a pig and he

wasn't too bright either

he built his whole house out of straw

how can you believe it i mean who in his

right mind

would build a house out of straw

so of course the minute i knocked on the

door it fell right in

i didn't want to just walk into someone

else's house so i called

hey little pig little pig you in

nice i was just about to go home without

the cup of sugar for my dear old

granny's birthday cake

that's when my nose started itch woohoo

i felt a

sneeze sneeze coming on i hopped

and i snapped oh boy and i sneezed that

was it a great

sneeze whoa boy i tell you and you know

what

the whole darn house fell down

right in the middle of the pile of straw

was the first little pig

dead as a door now he'd been home the

whole time

it seemed like a shame to leave a

perfectly good ham dinner laying in

there in the straw so i am

i ate it up

[Music]

i think if there's a big cheeseburger

just laying there

what a double cheeseburger yeah

i was feeling a little better right but

i didn't get

my cup of sugar so i went to the next

neighbor's house

this neighbor was the first little pig's

brother he was a little smarter but

not that much he built his house

out of sticks

[Music]

i rang the bell in the stick house

nobody answered

and i called yo mr pig mr pig you in

heeled back you go away wolf you can't

come in

i'm shaving the hairs of my chitty chin

chin

i just grabbed the doorknob when i felt

another another sneeze going on

i i popped and i snuffed i i tried to

cover my mouth but i asked

this oh

you're not gonna believe this the guy's

house fell down just like his brother's

when the dust cleared there was a second

pig dead as a door now

honor

[Music]

now you know how food spoils when you

leave it out in the open so i did the

only thing there was to do

i had dinner again i think it was a

second healthy

i was getting an athlete oh full but my

cold was feeling a little better

i still didn't have a cup of sugar for

my dear old granny mm-hmm

so i went to the next guy's house this

next guy was a first and second

this next guy was the first and six

sorry

oh this guy was a first and second pig's

brother he must have been the brains of

him he built a house out of bricks

brick smart little pig i knock on the

brick house

bloodied my knuckles ding ding ding ding

ding

ding ding ding no answer so i said hey

mr pig whoa

mr pig you in

and you know what that rude little

parker says get out of here wolf

it don't bother me again

look how bad impolite he probably had a

whole sack full of sugar in there

wouldn't give me one little cup

for my dear old granny's birthday would

you

[Laughter]

what a pig i was just about to go home

and maybe make a nice birthday card out

of a cake when i felt my

cold call coming on i hopped snuffed

and i sneezed once again

and that third little pig yelled and

your old granny could sit on a pin

usually i'm a pretty calm guy but when

someone talks about my granny like that

i go a little crazy

[Applause]

but the cops drove up of course i was

trying to break down a pig's door

the whole time i'm huffing and puffing

and steezing to making a real scene

the rest as they say is history look at

the wolf

the news reporters found out about the

two pigs had for dinner they figured a

sick guy going to borrow a cup of sugar

didn't sound very exciting

they jazzed up the store with all that

huff and puff and blow the house down

and they made me the big bad

and that's it the real story i was

framed

but maybe you could loan me a cup of

sugar

[Applause]

and that's it kids that's a real story

right there gee now i'm not so sure

about who the bad guy

is you can trust this guy i guess so but

how do you know just cause he looks

better but you can't trust him

you know on the other hand look at the

pig's face

it's not a real does that look like a

look at this

yeah who's the bad guy here oh i have a

question

yes sir one thing what does framed mean

framed means if you haven't done

something wrong and other people make it

seem like you have done something wrong

that is called being framed and don't

let

anybody ever do that to you gee that'd

be pretty nasty if somebody did

yes of course it would who wants to be

in a frame

hanging there on the wall i know i don't

stay away from framing altogether well

thanks a lot for reading to us mr allen

you know what i've had a a a sparkling

good time you guys have been very

interesting

thanks for letting me read to you oh it

was a lot of fun thanks a lot and and

let's not forget to do our story pigs

mara

story piece very good very good

actually we have two story picks that

are two different versions of the story

of the three little pinks

oh yeah there's one right there here you

go you go hold it up yeah

that's okay you hold it up where are you

going yo the hungry wolf oh

god no cause i got to do the yo thing

here i go yo

hungry wolf yo well our

other book is called the three little

javelinas javelinas

are little hairy pigs from the american

southwest and a coyote is after them

gee i wonder who the bad guy is in that

story hmm

well friends thank you so much for

joining us today and we hope you'll join

us the next time

and until then keep a story in your

heart

together adios everybody

[Music]

today's story time books are the three

little wolves and the big bad pig

written by eugene trevisas illustrated

by halen oxenbury

the true story of the three little pigs

written by john cheska

illustrated by lane smith yo hungry wolf

written by david bozar illustrated by

betsy lewin

and the three little javelinas written

by susan lowell

illustrated by jim harris

you can find these and other books at

your local library

major funding for story time is made

possible by a grant from helen and peter

bean

so that families everywhere can share

the joy of reading with their children

[Music]

additional funding is provided by the

corporation for public broadcasting

and by the annual financial support from

viewers like you

story time is production of kcut los

[Music]

[Applause]

angeles