02x18 - Act Of Piracy

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

thank you was that old Moxie yeah

[Music]

[Music]

bridgie

all is gonna dinky answer this guy

[Music]

hello this is Adam Troy yeah oh yeah

come here you're Corsican cat poisoner shelli's now you'll get this and the

further orders all I want out of you is just please beans so start these morally

you've gotta be good at what I am that's would be interesting now come on we'll get them Hartnell and yours back in

irons better than paradise brought to you by

[Music]

ventured in paradise [Music]

a gardener McKay and Adam Holden and Faye Baker of piracy guest

stars Joanne Linville

Peter Whitney [Music]

handcuffs abort son repairs the special district office there you are by law required to carry sidearm for old times

under court order the Tiki has been commandeered by the government for the duration of this voyage and you are now

sir personally liable until this has been countersigned by the authorities in power

happy boys are you

signed by the cast off

hello there Tiki one moment

my name is Frank's late acting for mr. Lang guard which of you is the skipper

higher skipper for me you have heard of PE lank I heard of money it's about the

same thing is it sir for all practical purposes mr. Lang God always stipulates

an exclusive chart of herself and party to Lamba with the hulis going last night

and corks popping in the moonlight it seemed an excellent idea to let our world cruise sail without us but this

morning the place smells of fish and coke ice like that mr. slate sorry no my

good man people don't say no to mr. Ranga watch yourself hound dog you

Barkin up the wrong tree all right still no

[Music]

believing Lori's chef who'd put garlic in a cucumber salad with poison his employer for kicks huh oh yeah that's

right let's all agree with me makes everything nice huh

[Music] I'll sleep OT file at this time not me

pal it's captain fry here who's making the problem spen hasn't be alive yet I've seen his

photographs in newspapers yeah I think a thread nose little tummy that's my daddy oh I'm Junior and ever

since the expression mad bad and dangerous - no well captain what's the

problem well there's no problem we've just been commandeered to take a government person of a Torah mmm they

won't equal this one as you eat forward with him in the Brig he's due to hang on arrival really what charges

Wilbur Wilbur sailor paddock for the m*rder of three women

well it's Wilbur seems quite a lad what'd he do to do my dear the good

captain blushes stop but they'll tell me well it wasn't a bit nice and mr.

Paddick but I'm afraid to you

you're making that up you flatter my powers of invention -

captain I I rather enjoy murderers bring

luggage aboard don't touch it and if I should take off with this impressive document for a

minute smile be forced to sh**t you soon I'll fully for you and call me Belle

finish one Belle fairly well as a matter of fact I also hold walktrough the

gentleman run fence box and rest my polo handicappers five goals and I play

championship bridge why do you ask because we're pulling out case you'd like to rejoin your friends you'll have

to swim for it Troy I'm so loaded that even my attorney is afraid to cheat me

slate here the senior partner and Coldwell slate Markus Javits known and

high financial circles as we the people please the traveler's checks for some reason these hundreds of the highest

denomination the issue so so dig in set your own figure 5,000 passenger slate

here we'll do the actual autographing he has my power of attorney that's $30,000

I wasn't serious you uh I pick you as a man of your word Troy

don't disillusion me you're a shrewd negotiator runs in the family all right

kids get aboard first stop lumbar

[Music] what is all this stuff a few necessaries this is Dickie I want

to bridge second night on a pond a little math presented fully I don't think even remembers his own day ruff

Lucia speed run it captain Troy miss

Manoir faith those big threw us together in the ship's bar and mrs. Benoit

everyone for a mother Benoit isn't that nice

ladies related to no I do believe they cherish certainly harmless aspirations

in my direction to do a long-form Kelly Keith now I show you the seven man

you'll share the starboard cabin with your mother miss Benoit oh not my mother

she's no twinners the name I believe that a similarity of surnames one of

those crazy coincidences casts off Kelly sorry captain Troy all my very close

friends call me choo-choo I'll bet they do miss Benoit I'll bet

they do

hopalong Maurice we want dinner you know perfectest not to be too exactly

my name's Kelly Kelly Makar it okay no this is me either

[Music]

you're very pleasant to the hole only to behold but a mournful compliment Paulo

Campos de montfort the rhythm of the human pulse itself is mournful hmm but

Monta list of all the illusion of escape South Seas tell me captain

now there are actually any desert islands left about a hundred miles away

habbo taro taro taro part of the kana h* group completely deserted Chiefs don't

use it anymore perfect place for you mister lying at a

little independent Kanan kept your putting ideas in my head is the island

for sale well mr. Laird what a question you of Oh surely you must know that everything in

this world is for sale for the right price now captain be careful out how does it strike to be

a king in a small way to wear and the turban of ownership Thea Greta the thority what a convenient both hole if

one of us should get into something that old thoughts and escrows couldn't for wants to get us out of that's the way

Watson shackling for an apt it's up to him definitely forward hold is off-limits to

all passengers [Laughter]

our friend brig seems to be a chap of strong feelings

well Christine would you share my little kingdom with me

well last night at the party I would have shared an iceberg with you but now

you've missed the boat I see you know my darling heart

you don't see the half of it [Music]

I wonder if you and I had met 15 years ago before we'd be nervously of

knowledge of good and evil I was only 11:30

whatever it was

together touching thought that's sick nursing the

sick [Music]

[Music]

[Applause]

just been regaling my faithful memory down with another specialty pre-party ography i was you see the sole product

of a union between elegance and to put

it crudely money my beloved parents parted over a brandy and orange juice during the first breakfast of their army

when their daddy or heard by the stock ticker that I was about to put in an

appearance on earth he informed his financial accomplices that so the child

would be a monster because daddy-o was never wrong about a horse or a security

are you sure you won't have something yeah just a drop Thanks too bad

I of course lived with them during six months of the year turnabout and during

these visits they devoted every amount of intelligence energy

trying to poison my little mind against the other in this I must say they failed

they did succeed in making me to test whichever one of them I happen to be

with

[Music]

okay [Music]

oh come on come here catch

what's the matter you all go stop or what come over you're closed

[Music] [Applause] cuz I'm so hands

[Music]

not be scared

[Music] any hot mamas

just wanna smell your patina yeah

take that just like a day [Music]

but you wasted time poor daddy always tried to be a real father my boy saying

that Midwestern accent hello tt-to it's very good you should never waste your

time robbing the poor it's old-fashioned you can't think of himself as Robin Hood

yeah green shirt's archery lessons ale and venison and breakfast

what up by obeying gin in the bubbly [Music]

how are you doing off limits obviously captain the lady was investigating the intimate structure of

a seagoing schooner now this is the key remember what I did if you ever again

are guilty of such a cautionary of my table erection the captain's dead well I did assume

that his Charter and local Sam and the ship's master is generally served first layer not ahead of ladies I hope let's

see it's the custom a custom I should say more honored in the breach than the observance I'll transport you and your

party as forever man meanwhile you may ask your senior partner I will not be

argued with aboard this vessel by captain Troy what a salty old codger you are and I thought the type had gone out

at the hand whittled wooden leg

[Applause]

Oh Oh

[Music]

I see your compass is still out sir check it myself this morning you do that

exactly exactly as any other Eagle Scout would this properly aligned with some

that's a what a gift from my daddy Oh on my 14th birthday master watch maker of

burn worked on nothing else for seven years 35 brands for tax well what are

all those little dolls for day month year century and then you have the alarm

stopwatch sweep and of course the various all the time

Siberia Tropico animalistic in Luna good

time on the moon I'd be lost without it captain my captain is perhaps aware that

we're not on course for lumber first Tora oddly enough government business six presidents uh huh well slate here will

be getting writers cramp this voyage I wouldn't have him open that mister

what a secure happy childhood you must've had captain Troy well I survived it all right you'll be needing this with you right here no

please keep it fastened to the crest of my helmet

and I was your childhood doula it was like a lovely dream

my parents never exchanged an angry word and voted at dawn

really that bad but it your boyhood mr. Baker Oh shot squirrels

mostly that's when I wasn't far enough to steal from a patty man he sure could

cook up a clean batch didn't you just drink up a fake dipper full of it piping hot right from the

cool okay has forgotten his childhood

and slate here the human computer never had any which brings us to your humble

servant for a journey born in the purple Sun of Mammon son of Luca which is power

and there's a certain over privileged egghead once put it power corrupts

Travelers Cheques corrupt absolutely

[Music] your take orders I'm not the argument for this vessel

this is for Laughs you should know one thing by the book you've just committed an act of mutiny on the high seas you

underestimate both myself in the situation commander not mutiny piracy

and cups mr. Vega and then we'll set our course for my private little kingdom of taboo Tarot

[Music]

we pause now for station identification

adventures in paradise brought to you by [Music]

[Music]

[Music]

the votive pieces these islands which grows out of the facility [Music]

is that why we're just sitting you got keys in these things oh you're the

captain who's gonna have all the ideas this is my school my life identity

income pleasure if anybody thinks they can take it away from the eye

what about you Adam Johnny everything's all right now Neal the dress mr. Lang it

is captain eisah

[Music] a little more see fairy

little postpone that but I need first there's a nice fall of lace here you can

rip up that impossible afternoon frog my new original you'll have nothing but

originals real ones pirates all of you blame pirates

give him out for everything grown rather

fond of you Dickie my old teddy bear they want a bridge I'm afraid you've

been drinking too much future anyone who allows them to have anything at all be

locked in the break the long as I happy go-lucky said a friend and if you doctor to me it state try me that is my whole

card case around trouble the natives throw it overboard they'll do what quit

while you're ahead no way back when you start waving that g*n around you're not telling me the life is a one-way street you've done at

the end of it you use that thing same is true of any road we choose except it's summer a trifle less boring

them up for Easter boy the safety is on

[Music]

[Music]

go to you Sam

[Music] [Applause]

get out a lollipop Playboy

okay boys dear would you stand up a little post like

this yeah

[Music] I hear this panic

if you ever again so much as look at me without respect or raise your Brae or in

fact say anything at all except in reply to direct questions it will become my pleasure to revive a fine old nautical

custom you'll be seized up sailor paddock and you'll be flogged with a

ropes end until I see your back bar where them SAP

mommy sapa here

Oh

[Music]

may I come in please thank you of all as

modes of misconduct I'm unfortunately checking about beating up women great

weakness piracy itself is grave weakness

Christine

forgive me for not being captain Troy

he wouldn't have me if I would go played

[Music]

lucky for you this

today

I finished it just before breakfast

thank you look good yeah

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

Bell Bell my dear boy you must be crawled for more than 50 years now my

constitution there has been conditioned to my condition to being drunk new year

to get you back in touch with reality reality

[Music] Dickie you and I made

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

you've been asking forth language now you've bought it Slade are you kidding

you're in the soup line I was born in the soup and weaned on it

what a frail hold we have on life I'll knock that would scarcely break an egg and a worthless old gentleman is so much

sharkbait the definition is manslaughter I want that painted back inside and out

you can use this possum back trip

[Music]

[Music]

bring it here attract you get back from the front we're back that I wouldn't try nothing

would pass stop I wouldn't even touch that school if I wasn't starving you get

on top

Hey

I'll be waiting right here mind you you know what'll happen if you don't forget

their dirty thoughts about double-crossing me [Music]

[Music]

[Music]

now like a mother fate chooses our hats for us when I last wore this I was a

certified hero riding the cloud serving down the Thunderbolts of Freedom

I offered to share it with you remember yes master

Lord of that

melancholy occasion take of you to say so old man actually even gonna hold a service

I rarely indulge in sacrilege bad manners

shark many shark

you'll always have sharks in your Royal swimming hole standard equipment for a pirate vessel

on it's unbelievable with live babies even

more colorful there's nothing you can say about me but I can think of

something worse [Applause]

look [Music]

[Music] she's heading straight in [Music]

it's the batter Seattle to her she's seen the flag good bank her lay me

alongside

bar their Kitsch sweeper decks hunt no nighters and get up with a flagon

strongbox and leave up burn to the waterline that's worth hanging for try

gone that engine

[Music]

get up let's see how good you are [Music] college student Phi Beta Kappa summa

laude [Music]

[Applause] [Music]

splendid workout with patches of unavoidable brutality

[Music]

[Music]

go strong my friend give you a few pointers are you taking the drop

[Music]

[Music]

was that old moxie yeah

what it's time to do what's there

[Music] and a sequence nudity battersea going uh

signaling school hey Alyssa captain here

all right answer this guy

[Music]

hello come here you Corsican cat

poisoner every step now you'll get this and the photo orders all I want out of

you is just plain bean so start over Dean's mocked us with

that's real Morty you gotta be children what I am

must be interesting come on we'll hit the bottle and your back tires

[Music]

daddy so which of you is with me in witchy I'm gonna want answers as well now we're

staying here

me take orders these damages are all alike

why did that cook what the flight shower stop

now what about the rest of you a thermospa fascist what your language

grandma I ain't worried on account of you it got

the old Moxie so sit out and shout out baby

under present circumstances I regard my former professional commitments as

dissolved cancelled and terminated in which case I now feel myself to be

legally and ethically free to undertake further obligation okay

that's what talk

it's all my time on your chef muscaria nature I work with my hands a mere cook

with no political affiliations whatever brings more capital

thank you both you guys didn't just tell me how I can trust two men than a Ivar oil I hope he gets a

domain no idea where I'm real sorry I can't get

with you 21 to use the way and good cow or someone even gonna be around the digest

well that's it's okay with us join the

beat all right here boy they tastes alright they're brave man

Bowie's we will although our lives

yes that's wrong he's a course again because yeah like

Napoleon oh and many times I have drunk a very deep with these mattresses such

great great great grand new event both

counts I'm gonna want some of that stuff

either you do guys that the post got to release branded

yeah no no eat the whole plate yourself make it make it easy on this make what

easier hey what is this we'll be having a drink with Emperor

Napoleon himself I don't even know that guy who would this tomb is one of the sights of Paris

[Music] how much did you get the movies I think it's working working

boys need that beans you crushed me just like you trust him

do you wish something me miss for you taking you or me

[Music]

seaman Wilbur paddock report wounded [Music]

there was no poison no whatever the only

poison was in his mind that was strong

[Music]

[Music] we'll still have to deliver this

receptacle still contains slightly more than the sum of 119 thousand dollars

dear Miss Christine you must have guessed the depth and extent of my regards for your way the authorities

unpowered no I don't be too sure I'm a pretty fair lawyer with connections

completely tax-free of course mr. connections

I wouldn't connect with you if you were the last connection in the silver cyst

foolish please let this be a lesson mr. slate

all you mature woman could possibly understand such a man as yourself or

ever hope to be a real companion Oh Lula your age

[Music]

[Music] this may interest you captain

I have some duties to do use one little minute

isn't she dia isn't she darling isn't she adorable isn't she

right yes she is daughter

it's I captain just as I was 34 years ago

orange or sweetheart

[Music] baby [Music]

[Music]

[Music]

meantime this rundown

I think I can learn to walk on the earth again captain Troy

barking homeless this padlock [Music]

Oh mr. Baker but first of all canvass honor

[Music]

[Applause] [Music]

paradise brought to you by