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01x01 - The Weed - Dr. Irwin and Mr. Meteor

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Plastic Man Comedy/Adventure Show". Aired: September 22, 1979 – February 28, 1981.*
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Plastic Man, his girlfriend Penny, and his Polynesian sidekick Hula-Hula travel the world and are given their assignments from the Chief to stop any threat to the world.

01x01 - The Weed - Dr. Irwin and Mr. Meteor

Post by bunniefuu »

From out of the pages of DC Comics comes

the world's newest and greatest

superhero, Plastic Man. He

can spring, he can stretch,

he can fly, he can bounce,

he can change his shape,

and he can even dance.

Each week, Plastic Man will face the

world's greatest. greatest collection of

villains.

There's action. There's

comedy.

There's danger.

There's penny. There's bad

luck cooler.

There's plenty for everybody on the

Plastic Man Comedy Adventure Show.

Eat your heart out, paint man!

Sure, I got lots of time on this job,

Herb. Not much to do. Oh, come

on, Herb. Danger!This job, who

would want to bother a room full of

plants anyway? Yeah, well, same for you,

Herb. Now I'm gonna grab me a little

snooze. Night, Herb.

at last. Now let them

try to stop me. Now who are you and what

are you doing in here? Boy, the way these

here college kids dress these days. Well,

that's a real expensive wall safe, you

busted, and you're gonna have to pay for

it. Hey, what do you think you're doing?

Put me down. This isn't

funny, not one bet. You hear me? Help!

Help!Help! Let's keep on the

bus. Relax, will you? He'll get the

formula. You did it!

Of course I did it, you fool! And now

the humans on this planet are in for a

shock. And I'll be the richest weed

on Earth!



Uh, sure. I still say you could have

saved two cents by going to the

self-service place. That reminds me, Hula

Hula. Check that rear tire, would you?

Chief Bass, now that we're alone,

there's something I want to ask you.

Uh-huh. I have two tickets to a rock

concert by the Vienna Boys Boogie Band.

Would you like to go? I sure would. Maybe

the Chief will go with me.

Howdy, Chief. It's me, your rubber band,

Romeo. Glad you called, Plastic Man. I

have a job for you. The future of

mankind hangs in the balance. And when

I've got tickets to a rock concert,

forget the concert. The weed just stole a

secret formula, not the weed. Yes,

the weed. He took the atomic cellular

regeneration formula. The atomic cellu--

what? It's a super plant-grow potion.

One drop can instantly turn a pea into a

watermelon. The weed has plans to

blackmail the earth into turning over its

riches to him, or he'll destroy the

world. Do you realize what this means?

It means I'm not going to get to the rock

concert. He's leaving the country at noon

on the SS Ticonderoga. Now, get

on it. Aye, aye,

Oh, we're too late. The boat sailed and

it's too foggy to fly after them. Don't

worry, Penny. All we need is a gangplank.

All aboard!

We'll split up and search the ship. But

be careful. The weed is very

dangerous. You were right. They sent that

plastic guy after us.

Get rid of him. I don't care how you

do it. Just do it. Uh, boss, you

said when the world gives you all its

money, you'll take care of us.

Why, of course. When I'm the richest

weed on Earth, you two will be the only

humans in my favor.

Now go.

You fools. Here

he comes. Roll out the barrel.

Class, look out!

Don't worry! I'll save him!

Oh, look out! Oh,

no!

Class? Hula hula? We're okay,

Penny. Wet, but okay.

Leapin' lava. Not for long.

Here comes a shark. Time for some

plastic power.

Only one way to go, and that's down.

Blass. Oh, blass.

Trust me, Sharky. I'm impossible to

chew. That'll

hold you, big fella, for about a minute.

The shark must have gotten him. Oh, poor,

precious class.

And it was my bad luck that was

responsible. Hi, g*ng. Plastic

Man. Yes, poor Plastic Man.

He was quite a guy. A little bendable,

but quite a guy.

Less, is it you? You know me,

Hula Hula. I always bounce back.

Not now, Penny. The weed is still on

board. And I have an idea how to

find him.

Your lunch, sir. With Plastic Man

eliminated, nothing can stop me.

I can't wait till we get to Lima and put

the formula to work. We won't wait. I

have decided this ship is too slow. We

shall leave it, and what is this? Your

lunch. I ordered no lunch.

Hi there. I'm very low in calories.

It's Plastic Man! You fools, you

failed! And he used rule service to find

me. Follow me!

Now I know how the inside of an alarm

clock feels. How are

you going to stop plastic, ma'am, at a

grape? Watch. This is the

plant-grown formula.

Well, that's got to be one of the biggest

grapes I've ever seen in my life.

The weed's getting away in a boat. Not if

I can help it.

Faster, you incompetent! They're afterme!

Faster, pleas, faster! Hey,

they're gaining on us, bus. Do something!

Quiet! I'm in control! This

seaweed will do the trick!

What's the matter? The seaweed. It's all

over. Stuck in seaweed? My

bad luck does it again. Wasn't your bad

luck, Hula Hula? This was the formula the

weed stole. Right,

fools! And it is this formula that will

enable me to unleash my greatest

creation. And with it, I will

become the richest living creature on

this planet, as you shall soon see.

Farewell!

Mother of Maui, we're finally free. But

the weed is probably in Peru already,

working on his scheme. I heard him say he

was going to leave the ship and head

there. Penny, call the plastic jet. One

plastic jet coming up. I've been keeping

the jet tailing us up above. Now that's

service.

Everybody up.

Next up, Ruth.

Good. Very good. The

formula I stole helped me grow it. Now

the electricity shall bring it to life.

You sure you know what you're doing,

Weed? Of course, you fool. It shall be

under my control as it grows and

grows. Start cranking!

Nothing can stop it from destroying a

city!

like that? Of course, you

idiot! The lightning has brought my

creation to life! Soon,

it shall begin its rampage and strike

terror into the hearts of all humans!

Oh, Plas, we've been searching for hours

now. Peru is a big place. You're

not gonna find the weed just by flying

around. Maybe you're right. Let's land.

Well, now what do we do? I was just gonna

ask you. So we came 6,000

miles to Peru. So we have no idea where

to find the weed. So he's probably

putting his evil scheme into effect right

this minute. Are we dejected?Do the

words giving up mean anything to you?

Plastic Man! I'm surprised at

you. Well, I'm surprised at me too. I

just don't know where to start. Leave it

to me, Plaz. I'll

just find someone to know and get the

local gossip. But Hula Hula!

Too late. Does he really expect to run

into a friend here in Peru? It's

ridiculous. It's impossible. It's... Hey,

Senor Hula Hula. Sam Rodriguez,

I haven't seen you in years. What brings

you to Peru, Hula Hula? You ever heard of

a guy called The Weed? Ohh He is a very

bad man. He has a plantation outside of

Lima. This is

the area where your friend says The

Weed's plantation is. I don't see it.

Wait, down there. That's it, take her

down.

What's the plan, class?to find out the

weeds plan. You two stay here and make

sure they don't sneak out while I sneak

in. Take care, Blast.

There's only one way to get up there.

Too bad the Olympics don't have a

one-armed pole vault event.

The time is right for my creation to

blossom forth. Within hours, the world

shall bow down to my demands. I

shall order my creation to destroy the

city of Lima. This will demonstrate what

will happen to all cities if they do not

turn over their rights to me. And if that

doesn't convince them, I'll turn the

people themselves into weeds, if need

be. Remember, you're gonna make us rich

and powerful, too. After Lima is

destroyed, you will fly me there to claim

my wealth. Now, to

unleash my creation!

Uh, uh, uh! You mustn't touch. Plastic

Man! Name dropper! Too late, Plastic Man!

Too late!

Some geranium. Stop it! I won't

stop it! And you can't stop it!

What's that? The side of the

building, look!

Jumping volcanoes, look at that!

Quick, Vlad is still in there.

We've got to help him. Take off

and don't spare the horsepower. I

can't! Put us down, you overgrown

daffodil!Uh oh, it's got Penny and

Hula Hula. Let's see if I can cut this

thing down to size. It

doesn't cut. You can't

cut it. Nothing can destroy it.

I don't think this plant likes me.

Oh, no. That plant hurled me too far away

to help Penny and Hula Hula.

Hang on. I'm opening all engines full

thrust.

You did it. Now we've got to find glass

before it's too late. I've

got to get this mud off before it

hardens. Then I'll see about that plant.

Leap and lava. We gotta find Plas or

we'll never stop that thing.

Look! Down there!

It's Plas and he doesn't see the plant

coming.

Yikes! It's the plant creature, and it's

got me cornered! It's turning

away, but why? Phew! That was

close. Let's pick up

my fantastic elastic lover boy.

come on board! Penny, you always give me

a lift.

Egg Filima, we've got to get them to

evacuate the city before the plant gets

there. But what if they don't believe us?

I'm a superhero. They have to believe

me. I don't believe you. It's

not a joke. A giant plant is on its way

here to destroy this whole town. I am

afraid you've been stretching your head

too much in your plastic man. Adios.

Well, I tried. Come on.

The weed's just waiting for the plant to

get here and destroy the town. Then he'll

come and demand the world to turn over

all their money to him. I'd give a year's

supply of pineapples to get my hands on

the weed. He's the only one who knows how

to stop that plant. But he won'tdo

it until the town's destroyed.

Then we'll just have to let him win. Huh?

Reports are scattered from the city of

Lima. It has been almost completely

destroyed by the creature. Excellent,

excellent! This news film was shot by our

camera through on the main boulevard.

What powerful force unleashed this

terror? I did. The American

superhero Plastic Man made a valiant

attempt to stop the monster plant, but

even he failed. Pete Mars!

Prepare my copter! My creation is ahead

of schedule in its destruction!Now, from

the wreckage of the city, I shall

broadcast my demands to the world's

riches. And there is no more Plastic

Man to stop me!

Senor Plastic Man, we are up the air.

Good. Now let's hope the weed was

watching our phony broadcast. Oh, it

looked great on screen class. How'd it

look when the puppet tore up the

miniature? Fine, I just hope the weed

falls for it.

Land in the Main Street.

I want to see the damage done by my

creation.

But this cannot be. Gee, the

city don't look destroyed to me. It isn't

you, Thunderhead. This was a trick.

April Fool. If you want to stick around,

your king-size carnation will be here in



you might like to stop it. Never beat

Moss. Get him!

I got him! No, I got him.

Hey, be careful, guys. I don't want to

overextend myself.

Yow! Help!

Keep an eye on these guys while I pull

myself together and find the weed. He

went that way. We haven't got much time

before the plant shows up. Now,

where did he go? I've

got to get rid of him for good! Clans,

behind you!

He's gonna go squish like a pineapple!

Once more, I spring into action! You're

not taking me in, plastic man!

My, you're a growing boy! Help! Stop

this thing! Let me out!

I'll get you, plastic man!

Nice going, class. What happened to the

weed? The weed won't get away again.

And that's a concrete statement, weed.

You'll pay for this?Look!

Rumbling coconuts, it's the giant plant.

That plant of yours will be here any

minute. Tell us how to stop it. Not a

chance, you rubber-brained hero. It's

here, and not even you can stop it.

There was just some way to turn it aside.

Have you stopped the weeds' plans?Well,

let me put it this way, Chief. No.

Stop him, Plastic Man, or you're all

washed up. I guess

I am washed up. Class,

remember when you were washed up?I mean,

washing up?When you were taking that

shower in the waterfall, the creature

left you alone. Why would a plant avoid

water unless-- unless water is

harmful to this Frankenstein plant?You'd

better fight out if you're right. Now!

What we need now is a hose.

Turn around, Hula Hula.

It's too hard to give it everything

you've got. Let me give you a hand.

This has got to work.

There's nothing left. A

normal plant lives on water. This

one was destroyed by it.

Thank you, Plastic Man. Our city owes you

a great debt. Nothing to it, Chief. We

took weeds to henchmen here into custody.

They'll all be taken care of. The plastic

jet is refueled, class. Let's head back

to the States. Hmm

Hula, what's that you're eating?I just

thought I'd grab a salad before we took

off. Well, watch out that the plants in

there aren't alive.

Hey, have I got time to get a

cheeseburger before we go?Cheeseburgers

don't attack you, do they?

It's a catastrophe. That's what it is.

Hola, hola, I'm meditating. Is it an

urgent catastrophe?If it strikes our

planet, it could flatten the whole city.

If what strikes our planet?That! That

giant meteor is headed straight for

Earth. What is going on back there?

I wonder if the Chief knows about this.

Of course I do. Our agency's already

on top of it. We've launched a m*ssile

armed with an expl*sive payload to

intercept the meteor. With any luck,

we'll reduce it to dust before it can

collide with Earth.

Certainly made short work out of that

one, didn't you, Chief?Unfortunately,

no. We failed to destroy the meteor. But

the danger's over, right?The immediate

danger, yes. I'll keep you posted.

What did she mean, Blaz?The immediate

danger. I'm not sure, Penny, but I

think the whole world has just been

declared a falling rock zone.

Better call it a night, Oiwen. You're

overexoting yourself.

Maybe you ought to just settle for being

a scientific genius.

Superior brain power isn't enough,

McGurk. I have to be a

physical marvel, too. People have kicked

sand in my face at the beach long enough.

It's my destiny to rule the world.

You're setting your sights too high, kid.

Take my advice. Shop around for another

destiny.

Nobody ever takes me seriously. Dear

me, I will rule the world. May

lightning strike me if I won't.

I gift. From the stars, a fragment of

the famous meteor. Look at it glow. What

power it must contain. It's energy.

It's flowing into me.

I feel stronger than a hundred men.

Oh, my stars. The powers can wear

off. I need even more of the meteor to

make the change permanent. Then I'll get

it. I'll drag the rest of that meteor

down from space and pulverize the whole

city. Then they'll take me seriously.

Oh, yes.

What's wrong, class?No appetite?You

haven't touched your food. The waiter

forgot my fork.

Liar. What's up,

Chief?First of all, don't talk with your

mouth full. Secondly, there's a theft in

progress at the Franklin Street Power

Station. A metal man is stealing one of

the generators. A piece of cake, Chief.

We'll get right on it.

Put it on my electric bill. The name

is Mr. Meteor. A

piece of cake, huhMore like all 12

layers, if you ask me. Any way you slice

it, he's got to be stopped. You be

careful. I want you back in one

gorgeous piece.

Hold it right there, Leadfoot. What have

we here?

Oh, I see! A superhero!

Plastic man, isn't it?A pleasure to

shake your hand! Suffering

surfboards, can't wait to suffer.

We're sure gonna try. Let my hero

go, you big bruiser! Oh,

hula, hula, harder!

I'm not fond of do-gooders who muck up my

plans, plastic man!

Not that you ever stood a chance against

a man of iron!

Like all humanity, you'll soon bow

to Mr. Meteor as your

ruler!I never knew

plastic was so hard

to untie.

Elias, are you all right?

More or less. Where have you been?We'd

have gotten back sooner, but we couldn't

get out of our parking space. Well, he

couldn't have gotten far either. Let's

find him. They'll be starting to search

for me right about now. But Mr.

Meteor will have vanished.

When I'm touching the meteor, I'm the

strongest man alive. And when I'm not,

I'm my own perfect disguise they'll

never suspect. But no sense pressing my

luck. The sooner I eliminate

Plastic Man, the better! This

brilliant young scientist may have the

answers we need, Plastic Man. Meet

Dr. Irwin Feldspar.

Thank you, madam. Plastic Man, I believe

the source of your full strength is the

meteor fragment he wears about his neck.

That's right! He glows with the same aura

as the meteor. Precisely! To make

himself even more powerful, he surely

intends to bring the rest of the meteor to

But it'll destroy the city. That media's

the size of Rhode Island. Which is

why you must stop him. His headquarters

is at top Mount Bloom and the outskirts

of the city. You know what to do, plastic

man. We're on our way, chief. Thanks, Dr.

Feldspar. You

weren't quite convincing, madam. I owe it

all to you, Erwin, oh, ruler of the

world. True, trueI'm also

the world's greatest ventriloquist.

But now it's time to meet our guests, all

four of them. Plastic

Man, Penny, Hula Hula,

and the Meteor. Popping pineapples,

Plaz. That means pulling the Meteor to

earth. So that's why he stole the

generator, to power the beam. It's the

old use the generator to power the beam

to pull the meteor to destroy the city

gambit. Well, he won't get away with it.

Ready for action when you are, Mr.

Meteor?Brave words for a trapped

superhero plastic man. I'm

not trapped yet. Do not toil

with the master of the world, plastic

man. You haven't been elected yet.

Nice gadget. Does it draw flies as well

as meteors?Don't touch that! We've got to

get down there quick. I'll get the

parachutes.

My bad luck jinx strikes again. Help!

What's that?What are you saying?

The g*ng's all here, despite Hula Hula's

bad luck. You two reverse

polarity on that device. That'll send the

meteor back into space. Right, class. The

battle is over! Plastic man, look

above!

Class, it's no use! All the controls are

locked. We can't turn it off. In that

case, MM, we're all gonna go together.

I hope Irwin wasn't wrong about that

source of your strength. No,

not that! Here, Penny, catch!

Who are you?Wait a minute.

Irwin! I've got 'em, players!

Players?What's happening to me?

I wasn't ready for this, but maybe we can

turn it to our advantage. Wing the

ray device, Penny. It's time for some

teamwork. Wish me luck!

Good luck, and let her fly!

Beam has taken the media with it into

space. We're saved!

Congratulations, Irwin. Your invention

helped us save the city. Oh,

shut up. Off to jail, Irwin.

Well, I hope that this is the last metal

monster I ever see.

I don't want to rule the world.

Players, not if you stretch your heart

and let me in. Oh,

no! It's me!

Oh, wellSo much for the iron

glove approach. Don't take it too hard,

Penny. For a moment there, our

relationship hit meteoric heights.