01x03 - The Horrible Half-Ape - Hugefoot

[bunniefuu]

From out of the pages of DC Comics comes

the world's newest and greatest

superhero, Plastic Man. He

can spring, he can stretch,

he can fly, he can bounce,

he can change his shape,

and he can even dance.

Each week, Plastic Man will face the

world's greatest collection of villains.

There's action. There's

comedy.

There's danger.

There's penny. There's bad

luck cooler.

There's plenty for everybody on the

Plastic Man Comedy Adventure Show.

Eat your heart out, paint man!

Oh, mark this date well, gentlemen. You

are present for the first demonstration

of my invention. Can we get on with this,

Professor Darwin?We all have our own

research to tend to. Very well, very

well. Now, you are all familiar with my

theories. I

shall act as subject for the process in

which anthropoidal power shall be vested

in me. What's he talking about?The

thing's going to give him the strength of

an aid. The machine is fully charged.

This is the moment. Five,

four, three, two,

one.

Cut the power to the floor!

Darwin, are you all right?

I'm fine. I'm fine. Just a minor

miscalculation, that's all.

Why are you looking at me like that?

What's wrong?

Ohh There must be a cure,

Darwin. We'll put all our researchers to

work. Keep your pity. My genius shall

find the cure. And then you shall all pay

for failing to recognize my brilliance.

Well, class, you did it again. You

defeated the menace of the 50-foot tuna

fish. True. Now I've got to figure out

what to do with those 90 gallons of

mayonnaise I scared them away with.

Henny, what's wrong?The radar says

something's on a collision course with

us. Collision course?Suffering

surf boats, do something. Here

he comes. Full power dive, quick. Roger,

keep your fingers crossed.

Henny, hit the stabilizer. Mother of

motor kart, help

blast OohThanks, Plaz.

I've got the jet under control, Plaz, and

the chief's calling. Chief, you won't

believe it. A flying saucer just went by,

and I... I know, Plastic Man. We've been

tracking it, and it seems to be heading

for Africa. And you want your best agent

to investigate, right?Yes, but since

you're the only one in the

neighborhood... She's just

crazy about me. I've honed in on the

flying saucer. It'll be landing in Africa

any minute.

Will you be quiet?I'm sick of listening

to you. I know you're

half of me, and don't think it doesn't

disgust me. The scientific

community never recognized my genius. I

must find a way to make them pay.

But you see something?A

flying saucer?

Did you see that levitation ray?The power

to move mountains?

Summon your ape friends. I will need

help. The

power of the saucer must be mine.

Spacemen, I welcome you to Earth.

What brings you here?We come in

peace, Earth One. We are of the

fourth space quadrant, Beta

Bloom. We found our craft to be without

power, so we landed here. Our

apologies for moving your mountain. But

it was in the way. Your ship must be

filled with many powerful devices.

Yes, but we are out of our power

crystals, the carbon substances

you heard people call diamonds.

If you could help us obtain some, we

could go home. I'm afraid your return

home shall have to be postponed

indefinitely. With

the power of their ship, the world shall

regret having laughed at me.

No sign of the saucer yet. Wait!

There it is, down there. That's it, all

right. Take her down, Penny. Roger,class.

That's quite a saucer. I can hardly wait

to see the whole set of dishes. There

doesn't seem to be anyone here. I'm going

to have a look around. I don't like the

looks of things, Hula Hula. My intuition

tells me something's awfully wrong.

Intuition?Schmintuition?What

could be wrong?Oh, this

could be wrong. Flyers, help! Uh

oh, monkey business.

The trouble with you guys is you're

always getting wrapped up in your work.

Now that that's over with... Plas, look

out! Behind you!

Oh, so you want to play, do you?Watch

this.

Well, I guess I made baboons out of them.

Don't be too certain, plastic man.

This alien freeze ray will hold you.

My lover boy has become a human snowcone.

Hey! It's too bad that you dropped in on

me. Now you're all prisoners of Half Ape.

He speaks always of revenge on your

people for having to flee to Africa, and

he will use our spacecraft to get his

revenge. So that's half ape's evil

scheme. If only players was able to

help us. It's no use. I can't thor him

out. He's like a TV dinner.

Now, listen carefully. Send your apes

down river to the diamond mine in the

morning. Don't raise your

voice to me. And in the morning, we shall

tend to that meddling superhero and his

friends.

You are tied, so you cannot escape.

I would advise you not to look down. a

drop of more than 1,000 feet, and as the

river below is heated by a volcanic

source, it is boiling hot.

You can't leave us here, Hathy. Why,

I wouldn't dream of leaving you there.

That is what this candle is for, to burn

through the rope and cause the three of

you to plunge to the river below.

We gotta get out of here, or we're all

gonna wind up hard-boiled. That rope's

burning through. We've got to hurry. Hula

hula, the steam from that river is

thawing Plaz out. I just hope it hurries.

OohWhy am I so cold?Plaz?

Oh dear, sweet defrosted Plaz. Get

us out of this quick!

Too late! Yeah!

I got the rope off!

The river below is boiling. I

think I'll go fly a kite.

Phew. Lass, you did it again.

What did you find out while I was in the

deep freeze?Half Ape is sending a bunch

of apes to raid the diamond mine

downstream. That's silly. Apes don't wear

jewelry. An occasional necktie, maybe,

but... Diamonds power the spacemen's

devices. Half Ape is gonna use them for

revenge on Earth. Revenge on Earth?

We've got to stop them. Come on!

That's the diamond mine. And there are

the apes.

Well, doing your Christmas shoplifting a

bit early, aren't you?

You waves came to this mine for diamonds,

and I aim to stop you. Class is

outnumbered, three to one. I'd better go

give him a hand. Holder, holder, wait.

Remember your bad luck. You're liable to

run into a panther or something. Jumping

papayas. Nobody's luck is that bad.

Except mine. Hey, you guys played too

rough for me. I've just about reached my

limit.

Bless! Help! Uh-oh. Looks like that

oversized pussycat is about to grab a

snack. Sorry to be a party pill, boys,

but duty called. Help!

Nice kitty. Down kitty.

Help! Time to put the cat out.

Class, the apes got away with the

diamonds. Cheer up, Penny. Things can't

get worse. It's the chief

calling. Well, what do you know?Things

just got worse. Come in, chief. We

have a Code 1 emergency, Plastic Man.

Three minutes ago, every TV station in

the world received this message.

People of Earth, this is Cygnus, leader

of the planet Betahu. Two of our big men

have been captured on your world. We must

demand that they be released immediately.

If they are not released within 10 hours,

I shall give the command to destroy

your planet!

Get us back to Half Ape's camp fast.

We've got to release those aliens he

captured. Or it's bye-bye Earth.

Too late. They're all gone. Half Ape

and his gorilla g*ons. The cell where the

aliens were is empty. The apes must have

gotten back here with the diamonds to

power the saucer. And Half Ape took them

all away in the saucer with him. Come on,

we've got to catch them.

Get out of here. Get out or I'll call the

police.

The whole door, right off the wall.

Yes, you're right. They should be through

getting the diamonds by now. You cannot

detail us. Return to us, our spacecraft.

We were to report in many time cycles

ago. Our whole planet shall be missing

us. Oh, they already miss you. I

heard on the radio, if I do not let you

free soon, they shall attack Earth.

You would allow that?I would prefer it.

This world shall pay for what it has done

to half ape.

See, even he likes it. Ah, they

return with many diamonds to power this

ship. The more diamonds I have, the

greater my power, enough even to escape

Earth before its destruction. Now to test

the disintegration ray.

Excellent. It is almost at full strength.

I know time is running out, Chief. We

didn't stop at this hotel to goof off. We

stopped here so Hula Hula could check

with his contacts and find out where

Half-Eight may strike next. Well, get

on it, Plastic Man. Time is running out

for the earth. I called all my friends in

the diamond biz. They'll be calling me

back any minute. Paging Mr. William

Munger. William Munger?That's me.

It's a code name. This will be Minnesota

Mel calling me back. Aloha, Mel.

What's up?Paging Mr. Tex Festermacher.

Tex Festermacher?That's me. I thought

your name was William Wanga. It is, but

all my friends call me Tex Festermacher.

Howdy there, Slim. What's up?

Uh-huhSlim says half ape

certain to steal the Klopman diamond.

Paging Mr. Hula Hula. I didn't give

anyone that name.

The Klutmann Diamond is the largest in

the world. It's now on display at the San

Francisco Museum. What do we do, class?

Head for San Francisco. We're going to be

there when half-ake strikes.

My friend sure called this one right.

Quiet, I hear him coming.

Well, he got the chest. I just hope poor

precious glass knows what he's doing.

Now I have enough diamonds and enough

power to show the world. Have one of your

apes open the chest.

Just call me Plass in the box. Plastic

Man, get him. This is what's known as

springing into action.

Uh oh, they're ganging up on me.

You heard him capture Plastic Man. I hope

this works. I don't have a lot of time.

Boy, they play naughty around here. Good

work. Now put that meddler into the

ejector launch. I'll rid myself a plastic

man now and forever. Farewell,

plastic man. You'll drift through space

forever.

Something's wrong, Hula Hula. Very wrong.

Class, can you hear me?What is your

position?Kinda all scrunched up.

Half-Ape catched me a drift out here in

outer space. Well, don't worry. I

have an idea how to save you. Where are

we going?You'll see.

Ten, five, eight, seven,

six, five, four,

three... I just hope we're in time,

General. Don't worry. That rocket will

reach orbit with your friend in 20

minutes. Two, one. We have

ignition.

This is gonna be a long 20

minutes. Class,

can you hear me?I hear you, Penny. I

don't see the rocket anywhere. Wait,

there it is. I see it. Grab onto it,

class. You only get one chance. I'm

trying, but it's too far. Stretch

farther, class. You've got to do it. I'm

stretching! Oh, is this arm going to be

sore tomorrow?Got it! Oh, hooray!

He did it! Oh, so

bland! And just in time, that rocket's

heading back to Earth.

Yoo-hoo! Hi-yo, Mercury! Let's

go pick him up when he splashes down in

the ocean. Then we'll take care of half

of him.

This dam shall be a symbol of my power.

There, my face has been immortalized in

stone. What

do you mean I showed your bad side?The

emergency alarm?We've lost power. And

that's impossible. We'll have to land.

The alien Starfleet is nearing Earth.

We've got to catch Half-Ape. According to

the radar scope, Half-Ape has landed in

the Mojave Desert. I wonder why. Well,

it might have something to do with the

fact that I ripped out his fuel lines

while I was in the saucer. Class, you're

perfect.

That infernal plastic man, he sabotaged

the saucer. Show me how to repair it. We

refuse, enemy of your people.

Plastic man, here.

Let us come with you, players. No, this

is between half eighth and me. He's so

brave. The bravest.

He's coming, but the disintegration ray

will stop him once and for all.

Uh oh, bad place to be.

You can't avoid me for long, Rubberhead.

I'll never make it across the desert to

him. So let's see where this gopher hole

goes. I

can't see where Ples went. How much

longer have we got, Chief?The invasion

force from that planet is heading this

way. We have 5 minutes before

interplanetary w*r begins. Come on, Ples.

You can do it. Where is he?Where did he

go?You can't escape

me, plastic man. Not a chance. The

world will pay for mocking me. I shall...

Mustn't play with the nasty machine.

Naughty, naughty. You won't stop me,

plastic man. Say

hello to the longing arms of the law,

Andy.

Now I'm going to stow you someplace while

I stop a space w*r.

Radio your home planet. Tell them you're

OK. Task Force 2

Faker Blue. We are released.

Repeat. We are released.

We need you. All bosses reverse

course. Return to home base.

Invasion of Earth. All units

acknowledged! We thank you for the

rescue. Indeed, what will be car

of the Semi-Aftropoid?Oh, ohh half ape?

Well, we've put him in our jet and we're

taking him to the authorities. They'll

take care of him. We shall undo the

damage he did and replace all of the

diamonds, including the ones we must

borrow for fuel to return home.

Gee, that'll be expensive. Those things

don't grow on trees. On our planet, they

do. Farewell. You have done

much. Thank you.

Players, you did it again. All in a

day's work. You know what I regret?I

never got a chance to get my hands on one

of those big, dumb apes. I could have

used a workout. Workout?

Sure, I'm not afraid of a couple of

monkeys. Why, I'd...

I'd.. I'd.. I leap in lava!

Help!Help! Help Hola, Hola! They're

harmless without half ape controlling

them. We're taking them to a zoo! I don't

care if you're taking them to a movie.

I'm not riding with them.

There, I see a spot. A

little more to the right. You've got it

now.

Maybe a bit too much to the right.

Welcome, International Society of

Inventors.

You two know what you ought to do. What a

huge foot! That was Plastic Man who just

went inside!So, not

even the famous plastic man is going to

stop me from stealing the world's

greatest invention. The world's

greatest invention?Well, at least the

inventor's not modest. Not when he is the

one and only Professor Alexander Edison

Corbett. Just what is your invention,

Professor?Call it a crystal ball.

Looks like a square to me. Let me

demonstrate. That's the

Capital City Golf Tournament. What's so

remarkable about that?But, class, the

tournament isn't going to start until

tomorrow. Yeah. That means with that

device, you can see into the future.

Think of what it means. I'm thinking of

what Harmon could do if it falls into the

wrong hands, which is why we're here to

protect it. There's no danger. This

convention center is too tightly guarded.

And even if someone were to break in,

they'd never get out. A computer alarm

automatically shuts off all the elevators

and locks all the exits. Nothing can go

wrong. Hi, guys.

Wow, a man-made blackout. Looks like

trouble has arrived. That flexible

flat foot is like melted potty against

the world's greatest criminal genius, who

is also a college decathlon champion.

I'd better stay close to the professor's

invention. Going my way?

Put me down, you oversized eight!

Oh! I can't see a thing. I'd better clear

the air.

Uh-oh. Oh, Penny and the Professor's

invention in the nab.

I'd better find them fast. You reached

the end of the line, big stuff.

You don't really think a little brick

wall is going to stop Hugefoot?

No, I guess not. In

case Plastic Man tries to follow us. My

super sense tells me that the criminal

escaped through here.

Going down. Looks like I've been left

with the short end of the rope.

We'll never get to the plastic jet in

time to catch him. Plastic man, use

my car. Thanks. Glad to help out.

Looks like your bad luck is holding.

Sorry about this. Our insurance will

cover the damage.

It's no use. We've lost them.

It's the chief. Hi, Chief.

Any luck?Or do I have to ask?We'll

find Penny in the invention. Have we ever

let you down?I'm not even going to answer

that one. Well, you can't win them all.

But at least you ought to wear the one

once in a while. I don't think the

chief is too pleased.

Suffering surfboards. We gotta get

Penny back. And my invention.

We'll do both. How?I

don't know. But I'll think of something.

The bidding's already at 300 million,

boss!I knew that future-seeing

invention was worth a fortune. But, well,

there's one little hitch. Hitch?

What hitch?It seems some of the bidders

want you to prove the invention works.

Proof?They want proof from

Hugefoot. I'll give them proof.

Anything yet?Hmm

That exotic perfume Penny is always

wearing lingers around for weeks. I'll

pick up the scent soon.

Go away, dog.

Come, Matilda. We'll find a nice dog

for you to associate with.

That's it. I found the scent.

How are you going to prove the

professor's invention works, boss?

Tonight, the Shah of Bagland is

bringing $40 million in gold into the

city. And this device is going to tell

us which airstrip the plane is landing

at, West Side Airport. When the

gold plane arrives, you two will be there

to meet it. The biggest gold

robbery in history ought to be proof

that this little gimmick works.

What about me?Don't worry.

We'll think of something. Oh,

no! What was that?Help!

It's Penny. Help! This little

old boy won't hold me up for long. Hang

on, Penny.

Lance, you saved my life!

But we still haven't recovered the

Professor's invention. Hugefoot has it,

and he intends to use it to steal the

Shah of Badland's secret gold shipment.

The device showed him where the Shah's

plane is landing. HmmAs long as Hugefoot

can see into the future, we'll never

catch him. Unless... Unless?

Unless we can trick Hugefoot into

thinking the device doesn't work. How are

we gonna do that?

Airports this way.

That's brilliant, Plastic Man. The

airplane will be at the right airport.

But those two g*ons will be at the wrong

airport. A stroke of genius, if I

dare to say so myself. But shouldn't we

be going after those two?No, we want

their boss. And as long as he has the

future-seeing device, he'd see us coming.

But when his stooges come back

empty-handed, he'll think it's busted. So

he'll capture the Professor to fix it.

Only it won't be the Professor.

Part one of Plaz's plan worked. Now it's

time for part two.

Sorry if my associates caused you any

trouble, Professor Corbett. Not as much

trouble as I'm about to cause you.

Plastic Man, it was a trap!

Obviously, you idiots! You could make it

easy on yourselves and surrender quietly.

I didn't think you would. You'll never

get me! You trots

get in the way, but I'll get 'em.

I hope my pocket parachute works.

Sorry to drop in so unexpectedly.

You should do this for a living. Anyone

playing with fire needs to be cooled off.

This will hold you until the police

arrive. I hate to

say it, but you did a good job.

Hugefoot and his stooges are in jail

where they belong, and the professor has

his invention back. Well, Chief, all

in a day's work. Unfortunately, your

superhero insurance rates have also gone

up, which will be deducted from your

bonus and your next three paychecks.

Well, we may not have money, but I've got

three tickets for the Capital City Golf

Tournament. No, thanks. But you and

Plaz love golf. But we already saw the

game on the professor's invention, and we

know how it's going to turn out.

Sometimes knowing the future in advance

isn't a lot of fun. You know, hola hola,

I think you're right.