Court Jester, The (1955)

[bunniefuu]

This is the story of how the destiny

of a nation was changed by a birthmark.

A royal birthmark on the royal

posterior of a royal infant child.

Here returning to his castle is King Roderick.

Roderick the tyrant, who some

months before seized the throne

by a m*ssacre of the entire royal family.

But uneasy lies Roderick's crown,

for rumor hath it that an infant,

the rightful heir to the thrown

had survived the m*ssacre.

And even now is being cared

for by a group in the forest.

A group led by an elusive dashing

outlaw known only as..

the Black Fox!

The child lives! Death to

the tyrant! The Black Fox.

The Black Fox again!

To the castle, quick!

My kingdom seething with revolt,

cutthroats and assassins in every tree!

Why must I be surrounded by fools?

Ravenhurst! Ravenhurst!

Sire!

Could you have been so

incompetent, bungled so horribly,

as to have permitted

that child to live?

Sire, there is no child.

My men assure me that none

of the royal family escaped alive.

Believe me, sire,

this is nonsense.

Nonsense? You call it nonsense, Ravenhurst!

Is it nonsense that I cannot

ride my own domain,

without being

murderously attacked.

My child, I came

within an inch of my life.

Oh, father.

Each day, some new insurrection.

Who is this Black Fox?

Oh just some ridiculous adventurer

with a handful of rabble.

Rabble today but

an army tomorrow!

We need help to wipe

them out. Men and arms!

Aye, an alliance with our good

friend Griswold of the North!

Aye, alliance, and quickly! He arrives

tomorrow for the great tournament.

Alliance with Griswold...

Sire, this rabble

can be crushed.

Griswold has men and arms.

We need no uncouth

interloper from the north.

Uncouth, yes, but

Griswold is strong.

Perhaps too strong.

Perhaps our friend

Ravenhurst fears an alliance

would put Griswold and not

himself at the king's right hand!

You shall die for this!

One of us will!

Stop! Stop! Stop, I say!

Put up your

sword, you fool.

Sire! -Silence! -But sire! -Silence!

-Your pardon, sire.

And you, too. Must we

quarrel amongst ourselves?

Do you think I

could make alliance?

Griswold is rich.

What could I offer him?

That which he desires most

in the world. Marriage, sire.

With your daughter,

the fair Gwendolyn.

Marriage with

Griswold? Never!

What's that you say?

He's a brute and a lout!

Brute or not, lout or not, if I

so decide, you'll marry Griswold.

I will not.

I am the king. If it pleases me,

you will marry Griswold.

If it pleases you so much,

you marry Griswold.

When I marry,

I marry for love.

Someone dashing

and romantic,

who will carry me off as a

princess should be carried off!

Who fills your head with

this childish fiddle faddle.

Ah, I know... Griselda.

She of the evil eye. Take

the witch out and burn her!

Harm one hair of her head and I

throw myself from the highest turret.

Gwendolyn, you go too far!

Dire news, sire! I've just come

from the forest. The child lives!

The child lives?!

Aye, sire.

How know you that this is the royal

child and not some outrageous impostor?

Because sire, disguised as a

member of their group, I saw him.

And I can assure you that

like his royal ancestors,

and on the same spot

as his royal ancestors,

he bears the royal birthmark.

The... purple pimpernel?

The purple pimpernel.

Oh... Then why stand you here,

you incompetent Jackalings?

To horse! To the forest!

Cut them down!

k*ll the infamous child who

claims to be the rightful king.

And destroy forever this traitorous

fiend who calls himself the Black Fox!

Hawkins! Hawkins! Come here!

Hawkins, you hurted yourself ?

Are you all right, Hawkins?

Come here!

Sir.

Hawkins, how many times have

I told you to stay out of my clothes?

And who are

these little people?

Oh, these are

my friends, sir.

They used to work

with me at the carnival.

They're the finest troupe of

acrobats and tumblers in all of England.

But why did you

bring them here?

Well they too would be

part of our group, sir.

They feel strongly as we

do about the tyranny,

and would join in

our worthy cause.

Sir.

Well, captain?

The new recruits

are arriving, sir.

Good. Hawkins,

I don't mean to be disparaging

to your little friends,

but weapons

are limited and...

Oh oh, I didn't intend

for them to fight, sir, I..

I merely thought that they would take

over my chores of entertaining the men.

Then perhaps I'd be free

to bear arms myself,sir,

and come to grips

with the enemy.

Face to face and steel to

steel. Fist to fist, sir.

Hmph.

Little friends, I'm sorry,

but food and weapons are

limited so you see, uh...

We'll do anything for Hawkins,

sir. He always was our friend.

I'm sorry, there's no

time to discuss it.

Please go quickly

and without detection.

Well, if you ever

need us, call us!

Thank you, I shall.

Bye Hawkins!

Hawkins! The recruits will be

here in a moment. Get the child.

Child... er...

I hate to keep

mentioning this, sir...

Just get the child!

Well, sir, you know I'd do

anything for his majesty, but,

don't you think it look

better if a woman were...

Tend to your duty!

And get out of my clothes!

Yes sir.

Majesty!

Your majesty.

Your majesty.

Your majesty.

Sir.

Don't you think it

really would, look better

if this kind of thing

were done by a woman?

I've told you repeatedly, Hawkins.

Each one serves as best he can.

I know, sir, but when I ran away from

the carnival, sir, and joined your group,

I thought I'd be in the thick of it.

Robbing the rich and giving to the poor.

Sir!

Our presence is known.

The king's men are on their way!

We must disperse!

Maid Jean. - Yes, sir.

You will see that the child is

transported to the abbey in Dover.

The usual method?

- The usual method.

Come, Hawkins.

- Yes, captain.

The rest of you disperse!

Hawkins, hurry!

I'm putting the last

touches on, right now.

Don't just stand there,

man! Make haste!

There.

Why do you stare?

I... Beg pardon,

captain, but, I'm...

I'm sorry, captain, but

I didn't mean to stare.

Each time I see

you as a woman, sir,

I mean with your

flowing hair...

Conceal the child! Quickly!

Yes, captain.

The king's men.

You know what

to do, Hawkins.

Yes, captain. I'll try.

h* there! Hold I say!

Come down old man, we would

talk to you. You too, wench.

What's that?

Hurry along, this

is king's business!

What's the meaning of this?

- Come on!

W...what's the meaning of this?

What do you want of us?

Where go you, ancient one?

Who are you?

- What's that?

- Who are you?

What's... what's that?

- Who ARE YOU?

Fine, thank you.

- No! No, no. WHO?

Who! -Who, -who. -Who. -who.

I am Foltzingdale

uh the wine merchant,

and this is my

little granddaughter.

Uh poor child,

she's a mute,

she neither speaks nor hears

except through my fingers.

Child, the... No,

no, here child,

these, these are the king's

men. Men of the king!

Eh.. she says long live

the king and down with his..

long live the kind

and down with his..

Long..

little harder, dear.

long live the king

and down with his..

not quite so hard... long live the

king and down with his enemies.

Enough!

Have you seen a group

in the forest with a child?

Uh what's that? What? What?

- A child! A child!

A child. Child. Oh! Lovely child,

pretty little creature, isn't it?

But you stay

away from her!

No, no no no, a child! So big!

Uh with a little mark on...

You do and I'll break

every bone in your body!

Ask the... Ask the girl if she's

seen a group in the forest.

Uh what's that? what?

Ask the girl if she's seen

a group in the forest.

Eh why didn't I what?

Ask the girl if she's seen

a group in the forest!

No need to holler, sir,

I hear very well indeed!

Well ask her!

- Ask her what?

If she's seen a

group in the forest?

Uh y-yes... child, have you

seen a group in the forest?

Eh she says no.

What took her so long?

Stutters.

Tah, we waste time with these dolts.

On your way. Off with you!

Oh, he's quite all right.

You were excellent,

Hawkins.

You too, captain. We played our

parts extremely well, I thought.

You know, we should spend a lot more

time together. Uh, for rehearsal, I mean.

There's a storm brewing. We'll

spend the night in the woodman's hut.

Yes, captain.

I'll take you dreaming

through the rainy night

to a place behind the raindrops

where the stars are bright.

you may not find gold or

silver but a richer prize

waits for you behind the

raindrops if you'll close your eyes.

tonight, tonight when

all the world's asleep.

we will tip toe home with a wondrous

star, a star you can always keep.

and years from now when you

go dreaming when you're very old,

though your crown be rich with

rubies, diamonds set in gold.

none will shine as bright

as the star we'll find

tonight.

tonight, tonight when

all the world's asleep,

we will find a star that

you can always keep.

His majesty's asleep, now.

You better get some sleep, too.

Over there.

Uh, there's only room for one...

I... I think you'd better take it.

We can both lie there.

If you get wet and ill, you'll be

no use to his majesty at all.

Lie down.

Yes, captain.

Wet.

Very.

There'd be more room if

you raised your arm.

The other one.

Sorry.

Hawkins.

Yes, captain.

I'm sorry I... I spoke

in the manner I did.

I was wrong.

Y-yes, captain?

There's something

else I'd like to say.

Yes?

I am a woman.

And I do have feelings.

I... I find it hard

to believe that..

the captain could ever be fond

of a man who isn't a fighter.

Sometimes tenderness and

kindness can also make a man.

A very rare man.

Could the captain...

Could the captain ever entertain

thoughts of marriage with such a man?

Yes, Hawkins.

I think she could, and would.

If things were different.

How di-different?

The infant on the throne and...

Our fight for freedom won.

Why does such a little girl

have to do such a big job?

It's the way I

was brought up.

My father's influence. You see,

my father made me everything I am.

He does beautiful work.

He taught me how to love

freedom and hate injustice.

The use of weapons

and how to fight.

In fact, I think he...

he really wanted

me to be a boy.

Too bad. You'd've made

a wonderful girl.

No! We daren't think of

ourselves until our fight is won.

Yes, but that could take

twenty years or more.

Or twenty hours. If only we could

put our plan into operation.

Plan? Do we

have a p-plan?

A handful of men could overthrow

the castle in a matter of hours.

Yes.

You see, there's a secret

passage that starts in the forest,

and tunnels underneath

the walls of the castle.

Secret passage.

But it's locked at both ends and

the key is in the king's possession.

The king's possession, yeah.

If only we could have

someone inside the castle;

an intimate of the king,

with access to his chambers.

Mm-hmm, with access to his

chambers. But, but that's impossible.

Ah, good evening! A thousand

apologies for this uh intrusion,

but may I beg shelter and warmth

from this miserable storm?

Who are you?

A stranger in this land,

young woman, but not for long.

I'm Giacomo of the continent,

the king's new jester.

The court jester.

Giacomo?

Giacomo the incomparable!

King of jesters, and jester of kings.

Well where are you from?

Most recently the Italian court.

But I have entertained in

all the courts of Europe,

and speak a ready wit

in their every tongue.

Hawkins, we are indeed honored

that our humble hut will shelter one,

will tomorrow be an

intimate of the king.

With access to his chambers.

But how will they know you?

Are you sure that no one in the

castle has ever seen your face?

Not yet! But I assure you,

ere another sun has set,

the entire court of England

will succumb to the charm,

wit, and song of the incomparable

Giacomo, king of jesters..

...And jester to the king!

I'll take the child

to the abbey.

You must go to the castle at once.

Quickly, into his clothes!

W-what are we going

to do about him?

I'll notify the fox,

he'll be taken care of.

Now listen, listen carefully.

Once inside the castle,

you must get to the king's chamber,

and find the key to the secret passage.

Key to the passage. Right.

Then you must give it to the one man

inside the castle who's our confederate.

- Confederate.

You mean we already have somebody

inside the castle? One of our own people?

You will contact him by

whistling our secret call.

Whistle it, hum it, sing it.

But I don't understand,

if we already have somebody inside

the castle, why doesn't he get the key?

You'll understand when you see him.

Now, he'll hear that and identify himself.

Why can't you just

tell me his name?

Should they discover you, they

might force you to reveal his identity.

Okay, I'd like to ask

you one question.

After months of pleading

for just this kind of action,

what makes you think that anybody ..anybody

could force me reveal the identity of my confederate?

Because they'd put you on the rack,

crack your every bone, scald you with hot oil,

and remove the nails off your

fingers with flaming hot pincers.

I'd... Like to withdraw the question.

Hawkins, the future of England

depends on this; you cannot fail.

I will not.

Oh heaven help you.

Now remember from this moment on,

you're no longer Hubert

Hawkins the carnival entertainer;

You're the incomparable Giacomo,

king of jesters and jester to the king.

Jester to the king.

Jester to the king.

To the king!?

The child escapes. You hear that,

Ravenhurst? The child escapes.

Gwendolyn, dear, do

stop picking that thing.

The revolt spreads.

Brockhurst here says

alliance with Griswold,

Finsdale says alliance,

Pertwee says alliance,

and yet you, Ravenhurst,

you of all my ministers...

Sire. If my lords Brockhurst, Finsdale,

and Pertwee plead so strongly for alliance,

then by all means let us have such alliance.

A marriage between Sir Griswold

and the princess Gwendolyn.

You are quite right.

Never! Never marriage with Griswold!

Be sensible. - Sensible!

I've seen this monster, and it's not for nothing

he's called the grim and gruesome grisly Griswold.

Grim, grisly or gruesome,

you'll marry Griswold!

I'll die first.

Go to your chambers!

Good, it is done.

Arrange for the wedding

directly after the tournament.

We'll make a show of this.

You there! Go hence.

Scour the countryside.

Bring in the fairest

wenches in the land.

Mind you see that

they are the fairest.

Wenches, laughter, song,

that's what this court needs!

Indeed, sire! And the good

Giacomo will provide it.

Giacomo? Who is Giacomo?

He's the new

jester I've sent for.

By reputation the gayest and

wittiest entertainer in Europe.

Splendid! Ha ha! What

a festival this will be.

Jousting by our boldest knights.

Wenches at our beck and call.

My daughter married to Griswold,

who will take her to a castle up north.

Way up north! But gentle

lords, you make me very happy.

They have won.

For the moment, yes. The king is

guided by the last voice he hears,

and that voice shall be mine.

Giacomo will see to that.

Giacomo? A mere jester?

With one special talent for which

my agent has bargained dearly.

In addition to his brilliance

as an entertainer,

the jester Giacomo also happens

to be the world's most skillful,

devious, and subtle master

of the art of assassination.

So as Hawkins becomes the incomparable

Giacomo and heads for the castle,

while the maid Jean with the infant

king still hidden in the wine cask,

journeys towards the abbey

and safety for the child.

Their plan seems simple enough,

but the simplest plans so often go a miss.

For at the very moment

Hawkins was delayed on the road,

the maid Jean was to run

afoul of the king's men,

who were scouring the countryside

for the fairest wenches in the land.

And so Jean and

the precious wine cart,

were taken to the castle before Hawkins

had even finished repairing his wheel.

h* there!

What's that?

Welcome Giacomo! We have come

to escort you to the castle, w..

Haven't we met before?

Ah... it's not very likely,

my good man, you see,

I'm on my way back

from the Italian court.

How speak you the king's

English with no trace of accent?

Ah my dear sir, Giacomo is a master

of many many tongues indeed.

French: Je le parle le fleur

ce magnifique, le romantique..

Italian:

German: Was haben Sie ausgehšbn

in das Kneibinbabn? Das Schmerz...

which means in any language,

why tarry? Let us off to the castle!

Off to the castle!

- Off to the castle!

To the castle.

Quick! The infant!

The infant? Where?

Off of the main!

Off of the main!

The child is in the cask.

In the cask?

You must take him to the jester.

But the jester

hasn't arrived, yet.

Something must

have gone wrong.

You look after the child,

I'll have to get the key myself.

But how? - I don't...

Come along there, wench!

My heart knows a lovely song...

So this is the incomparable Giacomo.

He looks not at all like what I expected.

And this singing peacock will

still the voices of Brockhurst,

Finsdale, and Pertwee?

Before midnight, if

he fulfills his bargain.

You sent for me, my lady?

Lock it.

What is it, child?

Something wrong, my lady?

Drink! A brew of

your own concocting.

Before I marry Griswold, I

will die, and so will you. Drink!

No! Don't despair, child.

You will not marry Griswold.

I've told you. It was

written in the stars.

Your true love will come

yet, I promise you!

Drink! You lie.

Would I lie to you, child? Your own

Griselda? Look at me! Look in my eyes!

Try not your wiles on me, Witch!

Too often have I seen people look in

those eyes and fall under your evil spell.

You will die for your deceit!

Filling my head with fairy

stories of a romantic lover.

A lover who would carry me away

from this monstrous castle!

And so he shall! He

comes, even now!

You lie!

No, I swear it,

your highness, look!

If this be another

one of your tricks...

Trust me, look. Look,

near the drawbridge.

King of jesters, jester of kings.

He is most fair of countenance.

Oh yes he is!

Handsome of bearing. -Like Apollo of

the Greeks! -A figure of romance.

Sent by the gods,

and for you alone!

Now mark this, creature of evil.

If this be not my true love,

and I am faced with

marriage to Griswold,

you will die, and by my hand.

Fear not, m'lady, your lover will

be here, in this room, within the hour.

And he will prove that

his is a mission of love.

For your sake, dear

Griselda, he had better.

I am Giacomo, Giacomo,

my fame before me rings,

a king of jesters, and jester of kings!

my heart knows a

lovely song.. heh heh..

it whistles it all day long

Giacomo is my nom de plume,

I whistle and hum

but I hum to whom?

To whom do I hum, to whom?

My song of love let

the whole world hear

until that sweet moment,

that moment when you appear,

I'll whisper it in your ear,

I bid you welcome!

I am Ravenhurst.

Ravenhurst Ravenhurst?

Uh the real Ravenhurst?

What?

Does the king know? I mean does the king

know about your being the real Ravenhurst?

Keep your jests for the king.

Don't stand there gaping!

You, Fergus and the others,

get the jester's bags!

You arrived not a

moment too soon.

When do we start?

- Tonight.

Good. I'd like to get in, get on with it,

get it over with, and get out. Get it?

Got it. - Good.

That was an interesting

song you sing.

Thank you, I'm glad

you liked it, old man.

Did it go like this?

Ostle about your business!

What is the first step?

Get me to the king's chambers.

The king's chambers?

- Yes...

Very well, if you say so.

It may be the Key to

the whole plan, get it?

Got it. - Good.

Yes, yes, I'll take

Griswold's emissaries,

but for the moment there

are other matters...

I understand the wenches have

arrived. Where are they?

What have we here?

Uh, Sire, may I present

the incomparable Giacomo.

Uh, king of jesters,

and jester of kings.

Oh, yes! From Italy. I haven't

been there for years.

Tell me, how go things

at the Italian court?

Ah very well indeed, sire.

Splendid, splendid. what about

all those stories we've heard?

Wasn't it awful about

the Duchess of Urber ?

Oh, just. Uh, just awful, sire.

I ask you, how could a

thing like that happen?

Well, sire, you know the Italian court;

what better place to court Italians?

Italian court? Court Italians!

Ah, Ravenhurst, the fellow

has wit! Ah, I must say,

I was shocked to hear about the

Duchess. What did the Duke do?

Pardon?

The Duke. What did

the Duke do?

Eh... the Duke do?

Yes. And what

about the Douge ?

Oh, the Douge!

Eh. Well what did

the Douge do?

The Douge do?

- Yes, the Douge do.

Well, uh, the Douge did what

the Douge does. Eh, uh,

Oh, when the Douge does his

duty to the Duke, that is.

What? What's that?

Oh, it's very simple, sire.

When the Douge did his

duty and the Duke didn't,

that's when the Duchess did the

dirt to the Duke with the Douge.

Who did what to what?

Oh, they all did, sire. There

they were in the dark;

The Duke with his dagger, the Douge

with his dart, Duchess with her dirk.

Duchess with her dirk?

- Yes!

The Duchess dove at the Duke just

when the Duke dove at the Douge.

Now the Duke ducked, the Douge

dodged, and the Duchess didn't.

So the Duke got the Duchess, the Duchess

got the Douge, and the Douge got the Duke!

Curious. I... I... hm?

What? What's that?

All I heard was that the Duchess had a

siege of rheumatism. She's 83, you know.

Oh, come next summer, sire.

So's the Duke.

- So's the Duke.

Remarkable, those Italians, what?

Made the whole thing

up, didn't you? h* ha.

Very witty, very clever.

Just what this court needs

Laughter, gaiety, songs,

wenches... oh, yes. Wenches.

I'm just on my way to

inspect the lot of them.

Who knows, I may

find some luscious...

Oh, sire.

If I may suggest, it ill befits the

propriety of your high office

to be seen with these

unkempt wenches. - Wha...?

It is said the incomparable Giacomo

has a discerning eye for beauty.

Eh, why not let him select a

suitable companion for your majesty?

Excellent! Excellent!

I trust the jester's reputation is based

on many years of accomplishment?

Why do you think they call

me incomparable, sire? Get it?

Got it. - Good.

Bring her to my chambers.

Within the hour?

Within the hour.

Finish with the king and

come to my chambers.

Within the hour.

Eh, about that song, sir...

Some other time, my good man.

Yes, Fergus, get on

with your work!

The good captain will escort you

to your quarters. - Very well.

Are you sure we

haven't met before?

Quite sure.

Within the hour.

Your Giacomo seems more

the fool than the assassin.

Or perchance a brilliant

combination of both.

We shall see.

I'm Giacomo, Giacomo,

my fame before me rings,

king of jesters,

and jester of kings!

What are you doing here?

I'm Fergus, the Ostler.

Whobis the whatsler?

Fergus the Ostler. It is I, not

Ravenhurst who is your friend.

Look, my good man, you pick

your friends and I shall pick mine.

At the moment, I have a very

important mission with the king.

After all, I'm the incomparable Giacomo,

king of jesters and jester of kings.

I have entertained in

all the courts of Europe

and speak a ready wit in their

every tongue. Uh who are you?

I am Griselda.

Gruhwhoolda?

Griselda. I bring you a

message from the princess.

Uh, the royal princess?

She finds you most attractive

and would like to meet you.

M-m-me? - Yes.

She finds you passing

fair, passing graceful.

Oh, uh, tell her thank you very

much but I'm just passing through.

One does not ordinarily

refuse princesses...

Well, one doesn't

ordinarily, but you see...

Is it possible there's someone

else of whom you are fond?

Uh y-yes, as a matter

of fact there is.

Giacomo, would you

look in my eye?

Eye?

Yes, it's been troubling me,

and I thought that the great Giacomo

would have a knowledge of science.

Eh s-science. Well, yes,

as a matter of fact I have a

great deal of scientific knowledge.

We have b-b-which eye?

Both. Look at them both.

Closer, closer. Deeper,

deeper. Deeper, deeper.

Tails of lizards, ears of swine,

chicken gizzards soaked in brine,

now thine eyes and mine

entwine, thy will is broken,

thou are mine!

Repeat after me. I am

craven and thou art my master!

I am craven and

thou art my master!

Stand there, fool.

- Stand there, fool.

Silence! - Silence!

You are in my power and

will obey my every command.

Every command...

And remember,

any time I choose,

a mere snap of my fingers can

bring you out of the spell like this!

And back like that!

Do you understand, fool?

Yes, master. You can snap

me in and snap me out.

Now, listen closely.

First and foremost, you must

convince the girl that this is a miracle,

that you have been

sent here by the gods.

To do that, you must go

to her room and make love!

Go and make love

to the princess!

The princess...

At once! Wait!

Not like that!

You are a figure of romance;

of spirit and action, but at the

same time humble and tender.

You are a man of iron

with the soul of a poet.

You are adventurous, g*y, but

with a lovers brooding melancholy,

and above all, you

must show passion!

Show passion!

Not me, you fool!

Now go. Make love.

Climb the vine to the tower

where your love awaits you! Stop!

Above all, remember you

must be cavalier, dashing!

Fear not, master!

Once I'm up the thorny vine,

the regal maiden shall be mine.

Fear not, master!

Hawkins!

You got here!

Well of course I got

here, my silly little goose!

Thank heaven.

Ah-cha-cha, you'll have to

wait your turn like the others!

Good, good, you're doing it well.

But have you heard the

change of plan? Here, take this.

I just told you, dear, you'll

just have to wait your turn.

Now don't overdo it.

Fergus will bring you the infant.

Huh?

Well, well, Giacomo.

Successful so soon?

Truly as dainty a dish as

ever was set before a king.

About your business, I would

have a word with the maid.

Your majesty.

What is your name, child?

Jean, sire.

Jean. Lovely name.

For a lovely face.

See that she is

jeweled and gowned.

She shall sit next to me

at the banquet, tonight.

You! You've come!

At your service, my lady.

So this is Giacomo!

King of jesters

and jester of kings.

Not today, m'lady.

Today I am Giacomo,

a lover of beauty,

and a beauty of a lover.

Can this be true?

Or is it merely a dream?

Dream? Is this a dream?

Or this? Or this? Or this?

Or this? Or this?

No, no, no, we are

strangers, hardly met.

What manner of man

are you, Giacomo?

What manner of man

is Giacomo? Ha ha!

I shall tell you what

manner of man is he.

He lives for a sigh,

he dies for a kiss,

he lusts for the laugh, ha!

He never walks

when he can leap!

he never flees

when he can fight.

He swoons at the

beauty of a rose.

And I offer myself

to you, all of me.

My heart. My lips.

My legs. My calves.

Do what you will..

my love endures.

Beat me. Kick me.

I am yours.

Oh, Giacomo,

you are so ardent!

With your permission, my lady,

I'd like to go 'round again.

Oh, no, Giacomo,

we must be discreet.

Ha! Discretion is for

fools and simpletons!

This cannot be! Miracles

are things of fancy,

and lovers are not

sent by the gods.

Speak not too

lightly, my love.

Who are we to say

nay to miracles?

But one doesn't find love

in one moment, one kiss..

that key? Where

did you find it?

Key? - It is a miracle!

The gods who sent you have also

provided a means for our escape.

This is the key to the

secret passageway.

Grand. We leave at

midnight. Get it?

Got it. - Good.

Very good.

Oh no, my precious,

I'll keep it next to my heart;

a sweet symbol of your love.

And take this, a

sweet symbol of mine.

I'll wear it always

next to my heart.

Gwendolyn?

Are you there? I would

have words with you?

My father. You must hide!

Hide? Giacomo

hides for no man!

But you must! He'd k*ll any

man found in my chambers.

Ah, be he king or peasant,

my ready blade will find its mark!

I'll... I'll..

I..I live for a sigh, I die for a

laugh, I lust for a laugh, ha ha!

Please! - What?

Or our lives aren't

worth that!

What? Eh, eh? Eh?

Are you alone, my dear?

I thought I heard voices.

Yes, I'm quite alone, father.

The king!

Listen, my child. I've just

met Griswold's emissary,

and the marriage is approved.

You know very well, father,

that when I marry,

I marry only for love.

Heh, heh, I knew you'd say that.

Now, Gwendolyn, do be reasonable.

Don't you realize that without

this alliance, our prestige,

our power, our position

could go like that!

Well, then let it go like that!

I wish you to marry Griswold.

And suppose I do not

wish to marry Griswold?

I don't give a fig

for your wishes!

And I don't give

a fig for yours!

No one snaps at the king!

Don't you dare snap at me!

I'll snap if I choose!

Don't snap at me!

- I will snap!

You won't! Now

understand this, my child.

This castle has walls

high and strong,

with massive gates

under lock and key.

Whilst you remain within

those walls and I am king,

you will obey my command.

Very well, father. Perhaps I have

been selfish and thoughtless.

Oh, my child. I knew I

could depend upon you.

Because you are a princess.

A true princess.

Loyal to the crown.

Sympathetic.

Sensitive. Faithful.

The key to the

secret passage!

Father, let me have it...

So, run away, would you!

Well, you trick me not.

This key will never

leave my person.

You will marry Griswold

upon the morrow,

and I promise you, daughter

or not, princess or not,

one move, one false move,

and your neck will snap like a twig!

Where is he? Giacomo

hides not behind drapes!

No no no, you must go!

I'll cut him to ribbons.

No, we'll escape tonight

after the banquet.

Very well, my sweet.

Until tonight. Very good.

Do be cautious,

sweet Giacomo!

Ha! Caution is for

popinjays and c*ck

Begging your pardon.

Until tonight, my sweet.

But you heard what

my father said.

If caught, our necks

will snap like twigs!

Uh... like what?

- Twigs!

Twigs? Speak not of twigs

when you look at an oak!

Until tonight,

my little sapling.

If Giacomo says he will

be here within the hour,

he will be here...

eh, within the hour!

At your service, m'lord!

Your arrival, good Giacomo,

shows imagination and brilliance.

Did you expect less?

Are you now prepared to fulfill

the bargain arranged by my agent,

Sir Burton of Allenburg?

- Quite.

Very well, then.

There are two plans.

Two plans.

- Plan one.

The untimely demise of my lords

Brockhurst, Finsdale, and Pertwee.

These three

will die tonight.

Three for tonight. Proceed.

The method I leave to you.

But die they must.

Heh! They shall

drop like flies.

Precisely. Like flies.

Do you have some

sort of twitch?

Twitch? I twitch

only for action.

I live for a sigh,

I die for a kiss.

I like that very much.

- Thank you.

I lust for a laugh. Ha ha!

I never leap when I can walk,

I never flee when I can fight!

Yes, but, but...

- I... pardon?

Listen carefully! If plan one fails,

you must execute plan two.

Plan two?

Take the princess from the

castle before midnight.

By whatever means

you may devise.

For m*rder or abduction,

I'm your man.

You've paid the price;

name your plan.

First, plan one.

Are you sure you can dispose of my

lords Brockhurst, Finsdale, and Pertwee?

Are they married?

Yes...

Order flowers for

the widows. Get it?

Got it. - Good.

Tally h*! h* h*!

Master, I am Back

- Well?

I have climbed the thorny vine,

and the regal maiden is mine.

Good.

Now, when I release

you from the spell,

you will fall into a deep sleep

and remember nothing.

Nothing...

Look into my eye.

Deeper, deeper.

Ah, my lords.

I understand the marriage

of the princess Gwendolyn to Sir

Griswold will be announced tonight.

My congratulations.

There is something afoot.

He is far too confident.

If this alliance

fails, we are lost.

It must not fail. Let us solemnly

pledge that we will permit nothing,

to interfere with the marriage of

Griswold to the princess Gwendolyn.

I so pledge.

- And I.

Though it cost

our very lives!

Our very lives.

Please, stop your picking and

fussing! I must breathe some air!

But madam!

All afternoon without

a moment's peace!

I just learned of your

whereabouts. What happened...

Never mind that. You must

take the child to the jester.

To the jester!

Immediately. He has the key.

But he's under

the spell of the...

Silence! Give him the child

at once! It is my command.

The jester! Where is the jester?

Summon him immediately!

Very good, sire!

Jester!

- Coming!

Come quickly, man!

The king is waiting!

Yes, uh, ha ha, have you

seen Ravenhurst about?

He's somewhere about, yes.

Well, I was supposed to see Ravenhurst

on some rather urgent business,

but I fell asleep... I don't

quite remember what I...

Ahh, Giacomo. A striking costume,

indeed. From the Italian court, I presume.

Yes, sire, Italian court. Ah, uh,

what better place to, uh...

...court Italians.

Ah, this will be

a festive evening.

Noble knights to joust at

my tournament. Come along.

And by my side a

lovely little wench,

who I'm sure will fulfill every

promise of your discerning eye.

Ah, look at her!

Charming. Charming,

Giacomo, charming.

A tribute to you,

my dear Giacomo.

Come here, my child.

Come.

Your majesty.

Was there ever more beauty?

More radiant? Rise, child.

The sweetness of your smile

outshines the elegance of your gown.

Thank you, sire.

Would you attend me?

You are most gracious, sire.

Quickly. Use the key.

Key?

Remember, plan one

Brockhurst, Finsdale, Pertwee.

Brockhurst, Finsdale, Pertwee.

Midnight. Horses

at the north gate.

Horses at the north gate...

Summon the jester!

Where are you going?

Didn't you hear the king?

Ah, beh, beh...

Cover your head!

Now get in there!

Come, come, Giacomo, let us

be g*y! I would have a song.

Eh. Song.

- Has the cat your tongue?

Uh, no, I...

What do you carry

there? Why the basket?

Beh, basket?

What basket, sire?

What basket, indeed!

Come, boy, come, show me

what you have in the basket.

Wuh, I can... eh...

Yes, come on, show me what

you have in the basket.

Eh, beh basket? It-it's...

Yes, and what about that song?

S-s-song, sire? Eh beh s-song.

If your majesty doth ask it,

I will tell about the basket with a

willo willo wailey and a nonny nonny

What's that?

With a what?

Uh with a willo willo wailey and

a nonny nonny loo loo loo

I'll loo loo loo loo...

What are you

loo-loo-looing about?

Oh, I'm not loo-loo-looing,

sire, I'm willo willo wailing.

All right, all right,

willo away, willo away.

We will willo it away...

we'll willo willo willo

we will willo it away!

with a willo willo wailey,

we will sing about it gaily,

with a willo willo wailey

and a hey! nonny... no!

Come back here!

What have you there?

What have you

in the basket?

Eh beh basket? Oh,

b- sire, it's nothing, sire.

Merely a jester's

bag of tricks, sire.

It's a secret, sire.

Y-yes, a deep,

dark secret - beh -

which has never before been

revealed to anybody in the world, sire.

But I...

I am prepared

to make a statement.

I was a lad, I was gloomy and sad as

I was from the day I was born!

When other babes giggled and gurgled

and wiggled I proudly was loudly forlorn!

My friends and my family looked at me

clammily, thought there was something amiss!

When others found various antics

hilarious, all I could manage was this!

or this!

or this!

or this!

My father, he shouted

He needs to be clouted.

His teeth on a

wreath I'll hand him!

My mother she cried as

she rushed to my side.

You're a brute! and you

don't understand him!

So they sent for a witch

with a terrible twitch

to ask how my

future impressed her.

She took one look

at me and cried he...

hee hee hee.. he?

What else could he

be but a jester?

A jester? A jester?

A funny idear a jester!

No butcher, no baker,

no candlestick maker

and me with the look of a fine

undertaker impressed her...

as a jester?

But where could I learn any comical

turn that was not in a book on the shelf?

No teacher to take me to mold me

and make me a merry mad fool or an elf!

But I'm proud to recall that in no

time at all with no other recourses

but my own resources with firm

application and determination...

I made a fool of myself!

I found a bow and arrow

and I learned to sh**t.

I found a little horn

and I learned to too.

Now I can sh**t and

too, ain't I cute?

(no end of song)

Tend to your duties!

Serve your drinks!

Hold it with that basket.

Let's have a look!

A toast! A toast!

A toast to his most

royal highness!

To Roderick the first, for all that he

has done for this great England of ours,

may providence provide

a true and just reward!

To the king!

Brockhurst!

Brilliant.

Finsdale!

Magnificent!

Pertwee!

Fantastic!

Brockhurst, Finsdale, Pertwee...

They are all dead, sire!

As you said, flowers

for the widows.

Dead. m*rder*d.

And by whose hand?

And who may be next?

Sir Griswold of Mackalwane

is approaching the castle!

And just in time. He comes

not a moment too soon.

Bid Sir Griswold enter!

Plan two.

Plan two?

Plan two.

Get those bodies out of here!

Quick, take him to safety.

...And get those goblets away.

And... no! Not you, jester, not you.

Come here, come here,

boy, come here.

Sir Griswold of Mackalwane!

Approach, Sir Griswold.

Lighten the mood,

jester, a note of...

My liege lord.

Sir Griswold of Mackalwane,

I bid thee welcome.

Ehh, a-welcome, Sir Griswold,

your beard is full of hair,

but do I say welcome

or do I say mehh!

Sire. My emissary did report.

And I proudly

accept your terms.

Eh... th-the terms! the terms!

He doth accept the terms.

He looks not smart, but in...

Excellent, excellent!

Members of the court,

know you that the crown would

make a most felicitous announcement,

concerning the defense and

security of our great kingdom,

I would have you know that

today was an alliance consummated,

between the crown and our

honored and valiant Baron,

Sir Griswold of Mackalwane.

Uh, the terms! the terms!

We've already had the terms.

Sorry.

To cement this alliance,

I have decreed a royal marriage,

between Sir Griswold of Mackalwane,

and Gwendolyn the Fair.

Eh, eh rejoice! rejoice!

Although his brain is brief,

for when the larder's empty,

she'll have her ton of beef!

Would you like to try

the other side, sire?

Thank you, sire.

What say our gallant Griswold?

Sire. Princess fair.

From this moment on,

this hand, this steel, this heart,

will exist for naught

but the love of the lady...

Save your breath, Griswold!

There will be no alliance and no marriage.

What's that?

I cannot marry Griswold,

father. I love another.

Another?

Another, another...

What is this nonsense?

What do you mean you love another?

Simply that, father. A miracle has

occurred to fulfill my every dream.

I have found my love,

father. My true love.

Who is this man?

One to whom I have given

my heart and my hand.

He who even now wears my silken

handkerchief next to his heart.

What's that?

- What's that?

Ah.. Her heart, her hand,

she holds for joy or grief,

but he who holds her hand

holds her heart kerchief.

eh handkerchief,

eh hand kerheart,

heart ke he

che ha- hah,

Who is this man? His name!

The man I love is a simple

man, but noble of heart.

My beloved Giacomo!

- What?!

Uh. His name, his name,

and now his blood must flow.

Light up the oil, this man must boil,

this man named Giaco- mo? oh! No!

Seize this wretch and search him!

Eh... I- I'm- Th-th-this

is a little mistake, sire.

I don't have her heartkerchief,

uh, handkerheart. I don't have th..

A handkerchief!

G! Gwendolyn!

Uh, n-n-no, sire.

Geh-Gee G-G-Giacomo!

Shield me not, sweet Giacomo!

Our love makes me strong.

Love for a common jester.

Take the swine out and hang him!

Harm one hair of that majestic head and

I throw myself from the highest turret!

Enough of this!

How much insult must

I endure? Come, men.

Hold, Sir Griswold, your

honor will be avenged.

How?

Were that wretch of noble rank,

I would challenge him to combat mortal!

But I would not deign to soil my

blade with his miserable common blood!

H-he's right, you know, sire.

Rules of chivalry, you know.

Rules of chivalry be

hanged! And so will you.

She'll jump...!

Come, men.

Hold, Sir Griswold. You will stay

until the morrow. It is my command.

'till the morrow, sire.

- You, Gwendolyn, to your chambers.

Be brave, sweet Giacomo.

Throw this blackguard in chains!

Is he not fabulous?

Go from plan one to plan

two without a moment's pause.

The man is pure genius.

Sir Griswold will never

tolerate this insult.

M'lords, to your chambers.

Ponder this problem.

A solution must be found ere

we meet in council, tomorrow.

Sire.

Welcome, Sir Burton!

You saw the jester's performance?

When I sent you to

negotiate for Giacomo,

I never expected results

like this! Was he not brilliant?

Indeed.

With one slight discrepancy.

This man is not Giacomo!

What?!

I know not this pretender,

but I assure you

he is not the Giacomo I met

and negotiated with in Europe!

I tell you I've seen this man

before, and somehow that maid!

Did I tell you?

What plan now?

To my chambers, immediately!

But if he's not Giacomo, who could

he be, and what does he want?

Why would he do

our every bidding?

Why would he work to

destroy the alliance?

Why would he m*rder

with the cunning of a fox?

A fox.

But of course, a fox!

A Black Fox!

But you don't think that...

Why not? Who else

would oppose Griswold

and want the alliance destroyed

but that rabble in the forest?

The forest. That's

where I saw him.

Dressed as an old man,

riding out of the forest,

with the very wench who

sat beside the king, tonight!

My lords... what a prize!

The Black Fox, himself!

Expose him! You'll

get all the credit!

Not so fast.

Not until the Fox pays

us one more service.

He'll rid us forever of

the barbaric Griswold!

k*ll Griswold? But how?

Whose is the deadliest

blade in England?

Who is the only man alive who

can best Griswold in mortal combat?

Only the Black Fox!

But the Fox is a commoner

and cannot fight in tournament.

We shall see.

No, Ravenhurst,

I do not understand.

What do you mean Griswold

himself suggested a solution?

You yourself heard him, sire.

He said were the

jester of noble rank,

he would challenge

him to mortal combat.

But the jester cannot fight in

tournament! He's a commoner.

Then, sire,

knight the jester.

Knight the jester?!

Griswold can then challenge him for

the hand of the princess Gwendolyn,

and by the rules of chivalry,

she must wed the victor!

Knight the jester.

Sir Griswold will challenge him.

He dare not refuse.

They meet at the

tournament, tomorrow,

Sir Griswold's lance

runs the jester through,

and the marriage and

the alliance proceed.

Yea? Hm. Ha!

Ha! Magnificent!

Thank you, sire.

But your majesty,

knighthood is an arduous ritual!

It will take three years

to knight the jester.

Three years? Nonsense!

Ravenhurst,

take that nincompoop,

and knight that nincompoop

by noon tomorrow!

Sire.

By order of his

sovereign majesty,

the jester Giacomo shall enter

upon a series of tests of manhood,

skill, and courage requisite to

his becoming a knight of the realm.

M-me a knight? But why?

To make you eligible for the

hand of the princess Gwendolyn.

M-marry the princess? W-when?

Upon your passing

each and every test.

Oh! Well that's different.

It takes four or five years

to become a knight, doesn't it?

We shall see.

Let the tests begin!

Uh, w-wait! What's

the hurry? I- b- ch-

He must scale a stone

wall in full armor!

Candidate passes!

Uh, b- buh... I didn't...!

With long bow, he must

slay a hawk in full flight!

He passes!

But I didn't even sh**t...

The candidate passes!

But I didn't even sh**t

the arrow! The arrow...

I- I didn't pass...!

The candidate must conquer

a wild boar with his bare hands!

Release the boar!

He passes!

No one enters by

the king's command!

But this is the

king's command.

Ah, maid Jean. Welcome.

What brings you here at this hour?

Concern for you, sire. - Mm?

You were so distressed last evening,

that I thought perhaps

I could comfort you,

ease the burdens of state.

Eh, don't tug it, idiot! Well that's

very considerate of you, my dear.

I shall take advantage

of your delightful offer...

perhaps this evening?

Why tarry, sire?

I am most accomplished

on matters of appearance,

and would gladly free these young men

for more important chores, elsewhere.

Well that's very

kind of you, but...

oh, yes. Pages,

I'm sure you have some very

important business to attend.

Now, then, sire, we have to

get you ready for the ceremony!

Ah, but my dear...

- Now there.

You can't imagine my feelings,

when I touch the head of a man

who calles himself the king of England.

Who IS the King of England!

And very handsome, too, sire.

On the day of your first

tournament. There you are.

Where?

Now I must go, sire.

Oh, now wait, dear, wait.

Oh, no, you have to

get to your ceremony!

But there's no hurry. We can't

start until the jester's been made ready.

The jester?!

Yes, haven't you heard?

We're knighting the poor fool.

Knighting the jester!

Yes, you'd

never guess why.

So that he can

marry the princess.

Well, that's the fool thinks,

but the moment I dub him knight,

Griswold will challenge him

for the hand of my daughter.

Mortal combat.

Yes, isn't it delicious?

He dare not refuse,

they meet at lists, and Sir Griswold's

lance runs the jester through,

as a fitting cl*max

to a glorious day.

Oh, my dear, you are a

delicate, lovely creature.

Tell me, does it bother you that I

may be a few years your senior?

Oh, no, sire, not really.

In fact, you remind me so much of my

dear and recently departed father.

Oh, your father, yes.

Well, was he a handsome figure

of a man? Dashing, effective...

Oh, yes, sire, 'till the scourge

brought about his untimely end.

Eh, come here, my dear.

- What a horrible death!

A little closer...

I can see him now, writhing

on the floor in agony,

like so many of his brothers and

cousins and uncles and aunts...

Yes. Would you grant

the king a little kiss?

Oh, certainly, sire, and don't

worry. They say it isn't catching.

Oh, you are a little...

catching?

Just because it runs in the family

doesn't mean that everyone has it.

Kiss me sire!

Has it? Has what?

Don't I please you, sire?

Oh, yes, yes, but, eh, these

brothers and cousins and uncles...

And aunts. Let us not talk about

their swollen, twisted, pain ridden bodies.

Hold me, take me in your

arms, tell me I am yours!

But this, this uh

writhing on the floor...

In agony.

Yes, wh-what's... how

does one catch this thing?

Oh, the touch of a hand,

the brush of a lip...

but let us not spoil this moment,

sire! Hold me, hold me close!

W-what's this

monstrous thing called?

Breckenridge's scourge.

Who's Breckenridge?

My father.

Excuse me, dear, I'm

feeling rather poorly.

Sire, the ceremony is ready.

Oh, very well. Ah, I must go, now,

my dear, and so must- so must you.

Quickly.

Dear... don't touch me.

Where's the jester?

Did you get the key?

- Yes, here it is.

It must be sent by pigeon

to the Black Fox at once!

Let the jester take it and

escape. They plan to k*ll him.

It'd never there in time.

The bird's our only chance.

He who approacheth, deem you

him worthy of noble knighthood?

Yea, verily, yea!

How many more

before the jester?

Just this one, sire.

...Fealty, loyalty, moisten his

lips with the vigorous wine.

Yea, verily, yea!

Now as the symbol

of honor and dignity,

let us beplume him

and helmet his brow.

Yea, verily, yea!

Sire, this storm bodes ill.

It might drench the field

and delay the tournament.

Fetch the jester and run him through

the ritual as quickly as possible.

But sire, custom...

Custom be hanged! Fetch

him and run him through!

A message for the

jester. From the king.

He requests you

do this at once.

At w-once.

He who approacheth, deem you

him ready for noble knighthood.

Yea! - Y-yea.

Hath he passed all test of valor?

Yea, verily, yea!

Now doth he flower with true nobility?

Yea, verily, yea!

Reveal him now to his sovereign liege.

Yea, verily, yea! Yea?

Faster. - Faster.

- Faster.

B-but I!

...Fealty, loyalty, moisten his

lips with the vigorous wine.

Now will he pledge to his

fealty, loyalty, courage,

and vigor and valor

and strength! - Yea!

Now as the symbol of honor and dignity,

let us beplume him and helmet his brow.

Yea, verily, yea!

Yea, verily, yea!

He who is girded and

plumed and helmeted,

Let him prepare...

Considering the virtuous

fidelity you have shown,

and the honorable exploits

that you have done,

having given proof of that honor,

having given proof of that honor...

as always as is the part of

a good and faithful subject,

I hereby dub thee

knight of the realm,

defender of the soil,

protector of the crown,

and a fit consort for the

princess Gwendolyn the fair.

Arise, Sir Giacomo.

Now, if any knight present

objects to this marriage,

let him now step forward

or forever hold his tongue.

I.

I, Griswold of Mackalwane

do so object.

Very good,

'dya hear that, sire?

I too love the princess and

would fight for her heart.

I hereby challenge in

mortal combat Giacomo!

Giacomo! Knight of the

realm! Defender of the soil!

And protector of the crown!

Woo!

You won't have to fight,

I'll send a message,

the Black Fox will come

and fight in your place!

The Black Fox?

Get up, accept

the challenge!

Uh... Black Fox,

huh? Eh...

he'll come and fight

in my place? - Yes.

You're sure he'll come?

Well, if it's mortal combat you want,

then mortal combat you shall have,

and at the hands of Giacomo,

knight of the realm,

defender of the soil,

protector of the crown...

protector of the crown!

Oo, oh.

Good stock.

Good battle. Good bye!

Your escorts to see

you safely to the lists.

The the lists?

Very clever, father.

Well, chivalry is

chivalry, you know.

Yes, I know.

May the best man win.

Remember this..

if he dies, you die.

To the Fox, at once!

We have bigger game.

Get him!

Griswold has challenged the

jester to mortal combat.

The jester! - Yes

The maid Jean requests that

you come and fight in his stead.

The timbers have fallen and

great rocks block the passage!

Can it be cleared?

- Impossible!

With no passage, we

can make no diversion,

and with no

diversion, no attack!

Is there any opening?

No more than that, sir.

Barely enough for a child!

A child, a child...

or perhaps...! My horse!

Where go you?

To save Hawkins?

No, to save England!

Then Hawkins must die!

Yes. But if my plan succeeds,

I assure you, Hubert Hawkins

will not have died in vain!

By order of his sovereign lord

highness, King Roderick the First,

this royal tournament

is officially begun!

Where's the Black Fox

What's delayed him?

There's rain in the hills,

perhaps the river is swollen.

He'll be taking the coast road.

You better have a look.

Good stock.

The first contest will be

a battle to the death

for the hand of

the fair Gwendolyn.

It will be fought by Sir Griswold of

Mackalwane and Sir Giacomo of Italy.

These two bold knights

will choose weapons,

and enter upon

the field of honor,

and fight in mortal combat

until one of them lies dead.

Run for your life.

No, they'd... they'd only

catch me and k*ll me.

Can you ever forgive me?

There's nothing to forgive.

Dear Hawkins.

Sir Giacomo! You

should be in armor!

And you, maid

Jean, in the stands.

If I die, just pray

that I die bravely.

You'll not die, you'll

not have to fight him.

Griswold dies as

he drinks the toast.

What?

Listen. I have put a pellet of

poison in one of the vessels.

Which one? - The one with

the figure of a pestle.

The vessel with

the pestle? - Yes.

But you don't want the

vessel with the pestle,

you want the chalice

from the palace!

I-I don't want the

vessel with the pestle,

I want the chalice

from the what?

The chalice from the palace!

It's a little crystal chalice

with a figure of a palace.

Th-the chalice from the palace

have the pellet with the poison?

No, the pellet with the poison's

in the vessel with the pestle.

Oh, oh, the pestle

with the vessel.

The vessel with the pestle.

What about the palace

from the chalice?

Not the palace from the chalice!

The chalice from the palace!

Where's the pellet

with the poison?

In the vessel with the pestle!

Don't you see? The pellet with the

poison's in the vessel with the pestle.

The chalice from the palace

has the brew that is true!

It's so easy, I can say it!

Well then you fight him!

Listen carefully.

The pellet with the poison's

in the vessel with the pestle,

the chalice from the palace

has the brew that is true.

Where the pellet with the poison's

in the vessel with the pestle,

the chalice from the palace

has the brew that is true.

Good man!

- Just remember that.

Sir Giacomo!

Sir Giacomo, into your armor!

And you, to your

place in the pavilion.

The pellet with the poison...

the pellet with the poison is

in the vessel with the pestle,

the chalice from the palace

has the true that is brew. Eh...

brew that is tru-

The pellet with the poison's

in the vessel with the pestle,

the chalice from the palace

has the true that is brew.

Eh, brew that is true. Eh.

The chestle with the pal- eh,

eh, palace with the...

Look out!

Hurry, now, get

into your armor!

The pestle with t...

the pellet with the poison's

in the vessel with the pestle,

the palace from the chalice

has the brew that is blue.

Eh, no...

The pellet with the poison's

in the vessel with the pestle.

The cha- eh, the

pellet with the plip...

the pellet with the poisle's in

the vessel with the plazzle.

Eh, the plazzle with the

vlessle. Eh, the the bless...

The vessel with the plozle

is the plazzle with the...

Come along, Sir Giacomo.

His majesty is waiting.

The pestle with the poilet...

And take your helmet!

Thank you.

The pellet with the poisley's

from chalice with the pazley.

Oh, hello, my dear,

it's nice to see y-

I've got it!

I've got it.

The pellet with the poison's

in the vessel with the pestle,

the chalice from the palace has

the brew that is true, right?

Right. But there's

been a change.

They broke the chalice

from the palace.

They broke the chalice

from the palace?

And replaced it with a flagon.

Flagon.

- With a figure of a dragon.

Flagon with a

dragon. - Right.

Did you put the pellet with the

poison in the vessel with the pestle?

No! The pellet with the poison's

in the flagon with the dragon,

the vessel with the pestle

has the brew that is true!

The pellet with the poison's

in the flagon with the dragon,

the vessel with the pestle

has the brew that is true.

Just remember that.

Yes, thank you very much.

The pellet with the chasley,

eh... the pellet with the poison is

in the pasley with the chazzle.

Eh, just remember that.

Beware of the drinks.

One of them is poisoned.

Poisoned! Are you sure?

I heard the witch.

The poisel with the

plesley is the chaz... eh...

The pellet with the poison's

in the flagon with the dragon,

the pestle with the pizzle...

the pizzle with the f- the,

the, the viss... - No, no, no...

The pellet with the poisley

is the chalice with the... he he

...Vessel with the pestle.

The vessel with the pestle

has the brew that is true.

Right. Don't forget it.

The palace with the

dragon... no, no, no.

The knights will

approach each other!

The pellet with the poisle is

in the flaggle with the chalice.

The poison's in the

dragon with the pestle.

Eh, ah, the chazzle is in the poisley

with the plellice with the plan- eh, plaglice.

The pellet with the dragon's

in the pestle with the poi-

The pezley with the poisle is...

The dragon with the

poisle's in the pestle...

Pazzle with the fleegle...

The poisley with the plazzle

is the plazzle with the ploizle

The chalice with the pa...

the flagon with the cha...

the floizle with the flagon is

the chalice with the poison.

The knights will face the king!

They will approach

the royal pavilion!

The pellet with the poison's

in the flagon with the dragon!

The vessel with the pestle

has the brew that is true!

Oh, no, pglk, you've

got the wrong one!

Stop this mockery!

There will be no toast!

Put them to horse, let them

choose weapons, and fight!

This is the Black Fox?

And still playing the fool.

Sir Griswold! Declare

a choice of weapon!

Mace and chain!

Sir Giacomo! Declare

a choice of weapon.

I'll take one of those,

one of those,

eh, a couple of

those.. and..

I better take them all.

Mace and chain

for him, too!

Charge!

Take that horse and put

it back under that idiot!

Unfasten that perch!

Charge!

All right, Sir Griswold,

prepare to die!

Go ahead, sir knight. Slay me!

You won in fair combat. Strike!

Let rivers of blood wash away

the stain of my disgrace! Go on!

Spew the field with

my dishonored guts!

No!

No, I cannot slay a

man whose only crime,

is that he loved not

too wisely but too well.

I grant your life!

Take your men, and go!

Fergus is dead.

Did he talk?

The child?

In the castle?

Now listen carefully,

there's little time...

Sir Giacomo, I declare

you winner of this combat,

and I hereby decree that you

shall marry the Princess Gwendolyn.

Hold, sire!

Seize this traitor!

Traitor? What's this?

How say you, Ravenhurst?

I say traitor, sire!

And I shall prove to you that

this man who stands before us,

is neither Giacomo nor jester,

but your deadly enemy,

the leader of the rabble who

have sworn to have your head,

the Black Fox himself!

The Black Fox?

And this demure maid

his foul accomplice!

Ravenhurst, are you mad? Have

you proof of this foul treachery?

I have, sire.

Then repair to the court!

Summon the judges!

If what you say be true,

the headsman's axe will not only

rid us of this jabbering popinjay,

but will sever this

lovely little head,

from this delicate little neck..

oh. To the castle!

Hurry along, little friends.

Hurry along!

Keep your heads down.

Come along, there,

men! All of you!

We'll take the coast road,

but stay close to the trees!

And I say again,

sire! Never, sire,

never was there

such infamous treason.

Not only is this

man the Black Fox,

but he and his despicable accomplice,

have the shameful effrontery,

to shelter in this castle,

the miserable child,

they would put on

your very throne!

What's this?

What say you, Ravenhurst?

I repeat, sire. The child they

would put on your throne.

The child...

with the purple pimpernel?

The very same, sire.

Bring forth the basket!

Let me see this

fraud, this charlatan.

Hurry up, hurry up,

bring it here.

In a moment, sire.

But first let me hear you pronounce

sentence on this unholy pair.

I know how anxious you are to

dispose of this villainous scum,

so that you may proceed

with the feast and the revelry.

Sire, I accuse these impostors

of the foulest and most loathsome

crime against the crown,

and I demand,

that they be given the full

measure of your righteous wrath,

and shall be disposed of

before another hour is past.

I tell you, sire, the headsman's axe is

too kind a fate for these foul traitors.

They should be put on a spit,

and roasted like yon boar!

Yes, yes, death

to both of them.

Father, I say

Ravenhurst lies.

This is Giacomo, king of jesters,

and never the Black Fox.

Nay, fair lady. For once,

Ravenhurst is right.

I am. I am the

Black Fox!

Seize that traitor!

Ravenhurst! Ravenhurst!

Do something! Do something!

Quickly, fetch Griswold!

Bring him back!

Take him to safety!

Arm him. I must

raise the gate!

Quick, Lower the gate!

The gate is lowered!

- No it isn't! Look!

If he dies, you die.

Tails of lizards, ears of swine,

chicken gizzard soaked in brine,

on your feet, be not afraid,

you're the greatest with a blade!

Heh heh.

Hey!

Play games with the

Black Fox, will you?

At this very moment,

my dear Ravenhurst,

your life isn't worth that!

Now my gallant fox, we'll see

whose life isn't worth that!

We shall, indeed! Hey ya!

With your permission?

Why you swine...

Your health.

Oo, you...

And now, Ravenhurst,

you rat catcher!

Well, my dear Ravenhurst,

our little game draws to an end.

I have toyed with you

long enough. You shall die.

And die like that! Ehh!

Hurry! Help the Fox!

Jean. - Oh! Hawkins,

are you all right?

Never mind me.

Where's the child?

Safe. -Good.

You've been wonderful.

How convenient.

The Fox and his mate!

So my friends, the tables

have turned yet again.

But this time for

the last time,

and not only for one, but

for two! What a prize!

Griswold!

They'll cut us to

ribbons. We've lost.

Hold there! Hold!

Let no more English blood

be spilled! Victory is ours!

Not so fast! Unhand

the king, and surrender!

Never! - Then die as

traitors to the crown!

Hold, Sir Griswold!

Hold your men!

Sir Griswold, I speak to

you as knight to knight.

When you were dubbed,

you pledged your hand,

your heart and your sword to

defend the true king of England.

Is that right? - Well?

This man is not

the true king.

He has usurped the throne

from the legitimate heir.

Heir? What heir?

He who bears the mark

of the royal bloodline.

The purple pimpernel!

- The purple pimpernel?

That's balderdash.

No such person exists!

Your majesty!

Your majesty!

Your majesty!

Your majesty!

The real king is on the throne,

Jean is my very own,

and life couldn't possibly,

not even probably,

life couldn't possibly better

be!