05x29 - Pregnant Pause

[bunniefuu]

Nausea again.

Horrible clawing, pounding,

aching. Me too. It

couldn't be morning sickness, but what

about these cravings?My

God, I better not be

pregnant. Jake,

get me some nachos.

Contractions. Contractions.

It's coming out. I

can feel it.

Hey, buddy, when people get pregnant,

they have to be chicks, right?

HuhOw!

What is all that stuff?It's ugly. Yeah.

I think this is like what your butt looks

like from the inside. I

think you're right, Butthead. I was

watching the Learning Channel once, and

they had this special where they had,

like, a camera go inside somebody's butt

And he, like, went all the way from his

butt into his stomach. It was cool.

Really?You mean somebody let him shove a

camera up his buttYeah, I'm serious. They

had, like, this guy, like, they stuffed a

whole camcorder up his buttAnd then,

like, they had, like, a guy with lights,

too, like a whole crew. That's cool.

What's happening to this dude's face?I

think it's like changing expressions and

stuff. Really?That's dumb.

Yeah. It's like, you really only

need like three expressions or something.

Like one expression for when you're

trying to pick up on a chick. Yeah, yeah

I'm trying to pick up on a chick. I

usually look like this.

Yeah. I usually use

this expression.

And then, like, you need an expression

for, like, when you're lying. Yeah, yeahI

usually use this one when I'm lying.

Check it out. And

then, like, you need like an expression

for, like, when you're taking a dump.

Yeah. This one usually works for

me. Yeah,

yeahI usually use this one.

That's a pretty good one, Beavis. Yeah,

yeah

ohh Yeah, I stopped by to get one of

these home pregnancy tests. So I guess if

it changes color, I'll be looking just

like you in no time. Hey, Beavis, you

should get one of those. Shut up,

butthead! I don't need one of those!

What's your problem, dumbass

I was just telling you to get some food.

Oh yeah, food. Food, food, food.

See?I keep losing my temper for no

reason, and I feel like hell. Really?

I find myself craving the strangest food.

Vegetables. Well, lately I've been

feeling like a total klutz.

You dork. Hey, buddy,

you know how those women got pregnant,

right?Oh, yeah. They

had like.

Do it, right?

Yeah,

they did it.

I knew that. I was just like, you know,

testing you and stuff. Girl, I can't

believe you went and got yourself

pregnant. You can get yourself pregnant.

Give me one

of those. What's with you,

Beavis?You look like you're

pregnant.

Ow! What the hell are you doing in there,

butt munch?Uh, I'm just, uh.. you know...

I'm like, you know... not doing

anything. I gotta check for the change of

color if you're pregnant. Let's see,

um.. I taste a.k.m. pice la

preboir.

Let's see. Maybe it goes here. Ow.

No?Um,

let's see. You're supposed to pee on it.

Ah,

better not change the color. It turned

yellow!

Uh, no!

...hey, Butthead. I know this guy who

like, wants to know what it's like if

you, you know, have babies.

What a dork.

He's a real dumbassBut like, you know,

he's like, you know, really wandering.

It's like you're always wiping up crap

and getting puke all over you. Cool. I

guess. Yeah. But then you have to watch

all these, like, Barney videos and stuff

so you don't get to watch any cool TV for

like years or something. Whoa.

Having babies sucks. But

we already have three kids, honey. I'm

not sure we can afford to have this one.

We'll find a way, darling, because the

more children we have, the more love.

Life, the beautiful alternative.

Give me another epidural, you moron!

Don't you tell me, I only feel

pressure. I feel pain!

Pain, you little turds.

Quick, let it pee you out of me.

Contraptions. Contraptions. It's

coming out. I can feel

it. Life. What a beautiful choice.

Life. It sucks.

All these kids have one thing in common.

They're here because a couple people.

Did it. Whoa, look at that Feraldo.

Oh, no. This is Yanni.

Come on, change it, butthead. I can't

believe they're even showing this. Yeah,

really. This guy is the

biggest butthole I've ever seen in my

life. Yeah, yeah, change it, butthead.

Come on, give me that. Damn it. Wait a

minute. I think it's about to rock.

Come on! Damn it, Buddit! Cut it out! No

way, Beavis. You like this?

Shut up, Buddit! I don't! You know, turn

it down. Hey, Beavis.

Did you know that this guy's your dad?

No! You're a dumbass Beavis.

You just, like, believe anything anybody

tells you. Ohh

No, I'm just kidding.

Yeah.

Check it out. She's leaving him because

he sucks. Yeah.

That was cool. Hey,

how's it going?Okay, now

to Willard for the weekend weather. So

tell us, Willard, weather or not.

These guys think they're funny, but

they're really just, like, stupid. Yeah,

yeah, yeahIt's like when you think you're

pregnant, but you really just have to

take a big dump. Yeah.

Hey,

buddy, whose trailer is that?

It kind of looks like my uncle Mike's.

Oh, he has all those butterflies and crap

on it. No, you're thinking of my

grandma's trailer. Oh, yeah. Your

grandma's a slutI know.

So what?Oh, yeah,

yeahIs this Sesame Street?Oh, yeah, yeah,

that looks like a... Grover.

You probably watch Sesame Street.

No, I used to watch it when I was a kid.

And like, sometimes when Sesame Street on

ice comes to town, I'll have to go check

that out. sh**t, wussy.

One of these things is not like the

other. One of these things just doesn't

belong. Dumb a*s

The guy that comes out and he says, 12

chocolate cakes. And he like falls on his

butt and like the cakes spill all over

the place. That was pretty cool. Oh yeah.

That was kind of cool.

Whoa. I've never seen a puppet with

scooters like that. Yeah, and a lot of

some big boobsYeah. So they

probably have this chick on the show to

teach kids the number two. Oh, yeah, yeah

I don't know why.

Can I say this puppet chick right here is

like one of the top three Muppets that I

would, like, do. Really?Who

else would you do, Beavis?