05x32 - Beavis, Can You Spare a Dime?

[bunniefuu]

Thank you, my friend. Whoa, check it out.

A bum.

Hey, hey, Mr. Hairdo, what's the

best nation in the world?Uh..

Donation. Now, what's the best city in

the world?Generosity. Hey,

come on, boys. How about putting

something in the cup?Uh..

No. Come on, guys. Give me just a

little money. Whoa, there is money in

there. Whoa. Is that all you got to do to

get money around here?Cool.

Viva, I have seen the way.

Wonder what the rest of her body looks

like?Oh, yes. Thank

you very much. Yeah. Thank you. May

I have another?

UhWhat TV show is this

chick on?Let's see, um, Family

Ties, Full House, My Two Dads, Growing

Pains, One Day at a Time?Uh, no.

Growls Place, Northern Exposure, What's

HappeningShut up, Beavis.

Ohh She looks like that that chick that

used to be young and have big hooters. Oh

yeah. And she was like, you know, like

married to that dude and living with her

parents. And now she does those

commercials for like hungry foreign kids.

Oh yeah, yeahAnd she's also on that

commercial for the Career Institute.

You can get a wonderful new career and an

Associate's Degree in Business

Management, X-ray Tech, Corporate Water,

Computer Technician, High School.

Yeah. I was

thinking of signing up for that that

career institute and like I can be like

x-ray technician and I can like look

through chick's clothes and stuff and

it'll be cool. Yeah. That would

be a good job. Yeah, that's what

I'm saying.

What?

What'd you say?What?I

didn't say anything. Oh, I

thought you said something like just,

just now?Right before I went

, did you say something?Uh, no. Really?

I, I could've sworn I heard you say

something like, like you said, uh, yeah,

that's cool or something like that.

No, Belus, I didn't say anything.

You oughta try not saying anything.

Okay. Well, give that a try right now.

Donation. Uh,

what's like the best nation in the world?

Um, you're a nation.

We're gonna be rich.

You kids are gonna give us hard-working

folks a bad reputation. You want to make

some real money, I'll give you some

lessons, but it's gonna cost you a little

bit of coinage. Uh, Beavis has a

dollar. No way, I don't have a dollar.

Besides, I'm saving it for some nachos.

Don't be stupid, Beavis. He'll give you

change. Um, okay.

Lesson one. No matter what, never give

anyone change. You got that?Next, you're

gonna need a cup. Uh,

excuse me, sir.

Damn it! Why don't you get off the street

and get out of my face, you lousy bum.

Solid cool. Oh, yeah?

Oh, you think it's cool, huh

See, you look a lot better now. You got

the coffee on you and stuff. Smell

like an AA meeting. They like that. Play

right into their hands, kids. Yeah.

Cool. Now, you don't want to be shaking

an empty cup. No, No no

Put some of your money in there to start

it out. Begging's expensive.

No, that's too much. People think you're

loaded, they won't give you a damn dime.

Whoa. Hey, you really think someone will

give us a dime?Uh, no, probably not.

Oh, now here comes some coinage. Uh,

tell us some kind of sob story, something

that make God cry, but make sure it's

something believable. You don't say that

you were born without any brains or

fingers or something. You know, just say

hello, lady. It's me, Mr.

Goodnight hairdo.

I was like, born without any arms or

legs. Yeah, me too. I was born without

any nabs. That's terrible.

Yeah, it really sucks. I

guess all my kids will be born without

nabs, too. You dumbass

I hope they'll be girls. That's terrible

what you two boys are doing. Did you ever

stop to think that there are other people

who really need the money you're

collecting?

No. NoBut

if you give us money, then we'll, like,

give it to other people or something. Oh,

well, that's nice, I guess. Yeah,

we're going to buy stuff.

Please give me some money. I was born

without a buttWhen I was born,

the doctor slapped my butt and then he

spanked my monkey. Hey,

we don't allow any panhandlers here.

Yeah, Beavis. What?He doesn't

want you hanging around, you know,

handling your pan?Ohh Yeah,

don't worry, dude. I tried that once, and

I didn't make much money. Everybody just

like stared at me and stuff. All right,

boys, move it along. Begging

sucks. Yeah.

Donation.

Hey, we want our money back. Yeah,

buttholeYou look, toothed

turd boy. Here, get your boy something to

eat. Whoa. Yeah.

Um.. is this... is this, um..

Cheech and Chong?Yeah.

Cheech and SchlongCheech and

Schlong

I like these guys 'cause they're stupid.

Remember that album your uncle had with

these dudes on it?Oh yeah yeah yeah that

was cool. Remember that one?How that guy

was gonna go downtown and like show his

schlong to somebody?Yeah.

I'm gonna go downtown, gonna see

my gal, gonna show her my schlong

Yeah yeah that was cool. Yeah.

And that guy keeps goingUh, yeah.

Uh, yeahUh,

yeahGonna see

my gal?Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah

That was a good song. I wonder how they

picked stuff like that up. Yeah.

They need to do songs like that again.

Whatever happened to that album?I

broke it, remember?I slammed it

against a wall, and it, like, shattered.

Oh, yeah. That was cool.

Yeah, yeahYeah, I thought it was pretty

cool, yeah.

Please help me buy some food and some

decent clothing for my two idiot boys

here. I want them to have a better life

than I had. Poor man. I wish I

had more to give. Raising them must be so

difficult. God, those kids look

stupid. So, uh, Dad?

We got to keep all the coins, right?No!

You get to keep all the pennies! And stop

calling me Dad, turd boy.

Pennies rule. Thank you,

my friend. Uh, is that all?

Yes, sir. God bless you.

This is cool.

What?That's the wrong song, Davis.

I thought this was something else. I'm

sorry. I was thinking of...

It sounds just like some other song. What

is it?Uh..

Oh yeah. What song is that?

Ohh I don't know, I don't care.

yeah.

Check it out, Beavis. This is what like

music videos look like to dogs. Really?

Yeah. I saw it on TV once because like

dogs are like colorblind and stuff so

they only see black and white. Really?You

think this is what a video looks like to

Snoop Doggy Dogg?I don't

think Snoop Dogg would watch this crap.

Yeah, he'd be like, Change the channel,

bee-otch. Um,

this sort of looks like, um, those things

that hang over the baby cribs, and

they're like, they're like black and

white and stuff. Uh.. What the hell are

you talking about?You know, those things

that hang over the cribs, and they're

like, um, black and white pictures and

like, um, you know, you're supposed to

play with them and stuff. Uh,

Beavis?Is your mom still giving you baby

toys?She get them for free up

behind Hobbytown gifts. They're like,

they're like really fun, buddy. Don't

laugh. Wuss.