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06x17 - P.T.A.

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Beavis and Butt-Head". Aired: March 8, 1993 – present.*
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Adult animated series follows Beavis and Butt-Head, both voiced by Judge, a pair of teenage slackers characterized by their apathy, lack of intelligence, lowbrow humor, and love for hard rock and heavy metal music.

06x17 - P.T.A.

Post by bunniefuu »

Check this out. What

does it say?Dear parents,

Beaver sucks. No way.

Really. Cool

dumb a*s

words. Uh, words.

Parent.

Teacher.

Essoc-ation.

Uh, Thursday night.

Your suggestions

welcome. Maybe we can

suggest that school sucks. It

sucks! Yeah.

Or maybe we can, like, suggest that they

get a teacher who's... Cool.

This sucks. Let's go get drunk.

Yeah.

We're there, dude.

Yeah.

Whoa, cool! Yeah.

This is bad.

Uh.. What happened to Axel?Yeah,

yeah, really. These guys are probably

like, Okay, Axel, I'm gonna give you one

more chance, but if you wear another

skirt on stage, you're out of the band.

Yeah. And then this guy came

along, and he was like, Well, okay, I

won't wear a skirt, but, uh, can I, like,

at least wear tights?Yeah. And then they

were like... Hmm, tights. Well, okay,

yeah, yeah, go ahead and wear tights. So

wear any high heels.

Who is this guy?This guy looks familiar.

He kind of looks like that little

four-year-old down the street. Yeah, the

little kid. I'm like, It's my football.

Give it back. I'm gonna go back

to my house. Yeah.

Remember that time he shoved his Power

Rangers up your buttReally?

Uh.. I heard

that kid might have the same dad as you.

Oh wait, really?

You know who else this guy looks like?He

looks like that dude that's always

stopping us on the way to school and

making us give him money. Oh yeah, he's

like, got some money?

All the money I find on you is mine.

Yeah. Remember that day he stomped your

a*s because he only had a dime?Oh, yeah.

Good evening, parents. We'll begin

tonight's meeting by opening the floor to

your suggestions. And this time, let's

try to keep it nonviolent. Shall we?All

right, any suggestions?I think it's high

time your teachers started giving our

kids a little discipline. Ohh

That's a very good point. Hey.

HeyOh, no.

Beavis and Butthead, this is a meeting

for parents. Get the hell out of here

before I k*ll you. Wait Wait a minute,

wait a minute. As a parent, I think it's

inspiring to see two students so

concerned with their education that they

would actually attend a PTA meeting. I

think we should hear what these two young

lads have to say. Yeah, come on.

We want, like, a teacher who's cool.

Yeah, yeahYeah, I I just want to say one

thing, too. I'm I'm someone who will,

like, give us some beer and some

cheese. What?Boys, this

is definitely not the time. Hey, wait a

minute, buddy. These boys may be on to

something. Maybe they need a teacher

who... Speaks the language. Someone who

can be their friend. Yeah, yeahHow's

it

going?Kids need to like their teachers.

Yeah. We need teachers, so don't suck.

Yeah, yeahHot kids need teachers who are

not overdisciplined. My kids need

teachers who let them express themselves.

Yeah. And I'd like some tacos.

Yeah And a chainsaw. That would be cool.

But Beavis and Butthead, wouldn't you say

that you already have a teacher who's

your friend?What about Mr. Van Driesen?

What?What I'm trying to point out,

Beavis, is that Mr. Van Driesen respects

you and treats you as an equal. He

already is a fine example of the teacher

as a friend. Yeah. He

is a wuss. Yeah, really.

You see?Are these the kind of kids you

want?We need teachers who

are not afraid to use discipline.

Coach Buzzcut is an excellent example.

No way. Buzzcut's always screaming at us

and kicking our assesYeah, yeah

Once he he hit me and

he threw me into a locker and then he

kicked me. What?You're lying.

that's nothing compared to what I'm gonna

do to you. Now get the hell out of here.

Princess Paul McVicker, it's completely

unnecessary to talk to students like

that. What?Shut up. What do you know?I

think you're out of line. Out of line, my

assI'm gonna k*ll him. I'm gonna k*ll

you. You little

bastardTake him out of flight. Take his

a*s

Oh no, is this Yanny?

Oh ohh this is Pink Floyd.

Oh yeah. Are they um,

are they from England?Yeah.

Just another g*ng of wussies fromEngland.

You know what, I'd really like to go to

England. Um, you wanna know why,

Butthead?Uh.. okay.

Um, hey, because, um, I just think, like,

you know, since everybody's a wussy over

there, you know, I could just go around

and kick everybody's a*s and then, you

know, I could probably get some chicks,

you know, 'cause I'd be the only guy

who's not a wussy. That's what I was

thinking. Hey. Uh..

I think you'd probably even be a wussy,

like, you know, to them. Oh, wait,

Butthead, I could kick some a*s hey,

maybe, like, Look your a*s with a green

eye, and then I'd come up the animated.

kick him in the nads and

then I would score. Yeah, but I think

their nads are so small in England that,

like, it'd be pretty easy to mess.

Well, okay, so I'd kick him in somewhere

else. Just Just shut up, you always mess

up my my dreams. Buttholes

Settle down, Davis.

You know, if you didn't know anything you

know about these guys and you just heard

the name Pink Floyd,And then you heard

this crap, you knowYou'd probably think

that it was just like, you know, total

woof music, you knowUh,

it is woof music, Beavis.

Look, big bingo ba*ls. OK,

class. Today I'd like to recognize two

students who took some of their free time

to make this school a more nurturing

learning habitat. Whoa.

What a couple of woofies.

Woofies! Woofies! I

was hoping Principal McVicar would be

able to commend these students

personally, but his secretary said he had

an emergency meeting with the school

board. Anyway, thank you,

Beavis and Butthead.

Uh

We regret to inform you that your

history of the abuse of two students has

come to our attention. Who are they?Ohh

k*ll them.

Oh, that was disgusting.

They shouldn't show that kind of stuff on

TV. Kids might

see that. Gentlemen, have you

reached the verdict?Yes, we have. Hey,

that dude from Damn Yankees. Oh,

yeah. Once I saw on

MTV News, this dude likes to take, like,

a bow and arrow and go, like, sh**t

animals with it. No way. Really?Doesn't

he get in trouble?

No, I think it's OK.

I think he can do that because he's like

one of those

Republicans. Really?

I want to become a Republican.

That would roll! But then, like, I think

once you become a Republican, it's like,

you don't score anymore.

Well, I guess I'll just keep being a

Mexican

now. Kid.

They should chop other people's heads off

in videos. that

would be cool. Yeah, like in

that Neil Diamond video, yeah. Hey,

that's where they should be doing

this. He's trying to look all scary.

Yeah. He's probably gonna go to jail

someday. Yeah. Uh,

well. That was pretty good, I guess.

Yeah, at least it was gruesome.