07x27 - The Miracle That is Beavis

[bunniefuu]

What I'm trying to get out of all of you

is to live your lives with passion. Go

out and seize the power. Yeah, yeah, yeah

Seize the power. Yeah, yeahHey,

Beavis, seize my wiener.

Now, we all have things we want, but we

just never get. Yeah, yeah, yeahYou see,

butthead, I told you. See, this guy's

making sense. It's like, see, I want to

score and I want money, but I never get

it. Damn it. I'm

going to tell you how to get those

things. Come see me at Book World

tonight. Whoa. Yeah, yeah, cool. Hey, we

got to go to this, bud. I'm serious.

Leave us, you dumb assThat guy's good.

Shut up, buddy. Hey, I am going to go and

I'm going to score. I'm sick of never

getting any. And there's nothing you can

say to stop me. So there.

OK, Belas.

Seize the power.

DumbassThank

you.

I'm tired of not scoring you. It's taking

so long. Come on. Thank

you. And hey, thank yourself.

Hi, young man. How are you this evening?I

want to get chicks. I don't want to

score. Whoa, whoa. Slow down. What's

your name?Um, Beavis.

OK, Beavis. I can tell you're a young

man with a lot of potential, but you need

more confidence. Remember, the

miracle that is Beavis.

Now, I want you to tell me your name

again, but with more confidence. Go

ahead. Don't be afraid. OK, um

Check this out. UmI'm, uh..

I'm Beavis. All right, that's what I'd

like to hear. You've just taken your

first step at getting what you want,

confidence. Now, you've got to decide

what you want to achieve. Remember,

it's in our moments of decision that our

destiny is shaped.

I want, like, um.. chicks and stuff.

Okay. And what do you want to do with

them?Um.. I want to touch their butts.

And maybe their boobs too. That would

rule. I see.

Well, once you become a more assertive

person, Beavis, you can have anything you

want. The world is yours. Yeah Yeah

yeah, but what about chicks' butts?Uh,

yeah, sure. Here, take this copy of my

book. I'm giving it to you because I

think you're a good investment. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, thanks. Uh, no problem.

No, just get out of here. Seize

the power.

Does anybody remember anything about the

side-angle-side theorem?

I didn't think so.

It's important to take a moment to

dream about what you really want from

life.

Beavis! Damn it, you will listen when I'm

talking! No way! I'm sick of school.

And I'm sick of you! What the?You get the

hell out of here! I'll see you in

detention! Okay, cool. I'm

gonna go get some chicks and some nachos.

Hey,

get out of the way! Beavis, why aren't

you in class?You stay the hell out of

this, McFaker. I'm sick of you always

telling me what to do! What?Ohh

But I'm the principal! I'm supposed to

tell you what to do! Yeah, yeah, yeahYou

need to stop blaming others for your,

um.. for your denials and, um..

You're supposed to decide what you'd be

or something. MacDicker.

Buttholes

Take strong actions toward your goals,

and never forget what your goals are.

I'm Beavis, damn it. My goal is to get

some nachos right now. I don't

care who in the hell you are. Nachos are

two bucks. Oh yeah?Is that a fact?

Well, I'm Beavis, and I'm a miracle or

something. And I'm sick of all you people

getting in the way of my natural power.

Butthole

Natural. I am the miracle that you

believe this. I'm pretty cool.

And you too can learn the secret of

unleashing your true power, thus

establishing your own powerful identity.

I was like, after I talked to him, I

really felt like I was, you know, like in

charge of my life and stuff. It

was cool. You're acting like a dumbass

and all you did was miss some good TV.

Really?Well,

maybe you're right, but still, you know,

um, that dude had some pretty good ideas,

you know, about how you can like, be your

own, um, your own self and like, um..

Ow! Ow! David, shut up and stop

talking like a damn wuss. Ohh

Sorry. Whoa, hey, check it out!

They're showing bear a*s on TV!