01x03 - Beauty's Only Fin Deep

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

Fish city is a swell place to live and

it ain't a bad place to eat either trust

me I'm a cop and if cops know anything

it's crime coffee and Cuisine you can go

the fast food route at weeny king or you

can dine the leisurely oldfashioned way

at pearls with simple hyle cooking yep

pearls my am hangout good friends good

food good coffee you you haven't noticed

we're like an old married couple

goodbye we watch The Morning News

together we eat breakfast together too

bad the only ring I have to show for it

is the one under your coffee cup and The

Whole Town's talking about the 33rd

annual Miss Fish City beauty contest to

be held this weekend spored once again

by weeny King has it really been a year

since that stupid stous senseless

Sensational marvelous beauty contest the

contestants also include Miss Angel

singer at the popular shell shack

nightclub huh like she doesn't get

enough exposure on stage every night

come on Pearl A Classy Chassis like that

deserves a showroom yeah and everyone in

town has taken her for a test

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drive

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you think she likes me you got 20 bucks

yeah she likes you huh oh

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ooh we could sure you as a secretary

around

here fish police Goldie speaking oh hi

Angel yeah we saw it you'll be wearing

Spandex in the swimsuit

competition even money on Angel it's for

you hi Angel what can I do for you well

I'm soaking in the tub you could come

over and scrub my back for starters uh

thanks for the offer to us but I'm

strictly a shower fish and right now I

could use a cold one so you ready for

the beauty contest this weekend I'm so

EXC excited I've reserved you a seat

it'll mean so much to me gil knowing

you're behind

[Music]

me uh got to go Angel break a

fin are you using Police Department

equipment for personal gain well let's

hope so how much you in for she not this

year our beloved mayor volunteered my

services as a judge he's relying on my

impartiality my Keen Eye and the fact

that he's my boss you've raised dorsal

kissing to an art form Chief don't

forget who your boss is Gil anyone else

need reminding no we know who our boss

is good could we please get back to work

police work hey what do you guys know

about weeny King what don't we know

detective catfish

it's time or in you can't go with a ween

King weenie hot

dog what in the name of Neptune is that

my weenie whistle the Walt and weenie

gave it to me when I was a

kid I'll never forget how she smiled how

she smelled and that beautiful spotted

tail I love seeing her every year at the

Miss Fish City beauty contest how hot

dog well there may not be a contest this

year if it isn't the Big Weenie King

himself wow WK to my friends y'all and I

got a little problem here my annual

beauty contest been demoralized by

disturbing and distasteful threats of

violence if the contest runs I'll burn

your buns so if you dare let the

Beauties beware do you have any enemies

WK well no unless you count the two

brothers are cheated out of the family

fortune my three Ex-Wives or the 196

employees I laid off last week well it's

a start don't worry that contest is a

fish City tradition just like your hot

dogs and Pearls apple pie I'd lay down

and die before I'd let anything happen

to those Beauties my compliments

sir Gil looks like you and catfish

better keep an eye on those contestants

it's a dirty job Chief but somebody's

got to do

it Tad I need a file on every employe

who ever worked for weeny King I got it

sir please guys you got to let me tag

along on this case I was weened on weeny

King weenies sure kid now

go catfish I'd say this note was written

by someone with a bad case of weenie

Envy there I was the one in charge of

security 2 weeks away from nailing any

one of a hundred suspects with a

thousand different motives and the

contest was 8 hours away and Counting I

was lousy at arithmetic but I knew that

added up to

trouble look

out oh Gil you are wonderful Gil you so

great

something wasn't kosher around here and

I wasn't talking hot

dogs keeping the beauty contestants safe

was taking up all my time on the other

fin I was having the time of my life but

time was running out for the scum who

was scaring these

skirts This is Connie Koy from kelp

reporting live from the Miss Fish City

beauty contest I'm standing here with

police chief Abalone one of tonight's

judges Chief we've heard that the beauty

contestants have been terrorized for the

past week what's the fcpd doing about it

for the last 48 hours inspector Gil has

stayed right on top of the

contestants I mean he's handling

everything I mean it's under control

Connie and now a fish who needs no

introduction you all know him you all

love him and apparently somebody voted

for him mayor card May card any

comments you know Connie it's always

been my contention that the finest

looking females in the entire ocean are

own homegrown Fish City Beauties

actually your honor I was referring to

the threats against the beauty

contestants threats what threats they

didn't mention me did they H did they

well well well well well should I go

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home

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here Lassie put the entire amount on Inu

gee a whole dollar I've never seen one

all by itself

before the Slime suit contest is down

the hall fellas well Camari anything

anything you want to tell me about the

weeny King threats the boss does not

concern himself with hot dog eery now

should you ask who pull the sck up at sh

P last

year I think what my associate means is

we're right to become privy to any

information strictly hear say of course

I'd be happy to share it with fish

City's finest or if necessary with the

police nobody gets in or out of this

place without us knowing about it fitzig

you take the East exit Chambers take the

West exit truo check the basement and

dablan you go

[Music]

long gives new meaning to the words lip

service oh Pearl you're the last fish in

the ocean I expected to see here

obviously believe me I'm only here to

bring my baby brother dinner not to

condone this despicable display of

female fish flesh Now where's Tad

helping me out anything for

me looks like you're getting enough

already oh hi Pearl you here to offer

support why looks like your maiden

form's already putting in

overtime

oh I don't know you from Neptune but I

sure hope you win me

too I've never been past the reef before

imagine touring the entire ocean for a

whole year did you say the winner goes

out of town for a whole year sure it

comes with the crown just think if I win

I'd a whole year as in 365 days and

nights I'll help Angel win follow

me

[Applause]

Dames welcome ladies and gentl to the

33rd annual Miss Fish City beauty

contest I'm Bob sharks your Master of

Ceremonies now let's give a big fish

City Welcome to the walting weedie

together with me

in

[Music]

can't hey you're not the walsing weenie

I remember don't tell anybody but I just

got this gig two weeks ago hope you have

a good health

plan yes I'm inspector Gil I'm on the

case uh Bob will be right back that

reminds me this Lobster walks into a

psychiatrist office and thank you

inspector Gil and now our parade of

[Applause]

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[Applause]

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[Applause]

lovelies

oh I never would have suspected you

besides Gil and I are just friends well

we more than friends not much more a

little more but not anymore oh for the

love of Pike I just wanted to pick the

suit there that's

better now Angel you go out there and

show them this dirty ocean has a beacon

of Grace Beauty

and Purity float tall float proud float

those babies G Pearl you've been so nice

to me you're the sweetest kindest you're

on

[Music]

[Applause]

honey please Neptune don't let her

talk and to achieve my goal to become a

nuclear physicist or a spokes model so

that fish of every species may someday

swim together in peaceful w letter how

about that thank you C how far do those

things go a lot further than you

will and now Angel your question how

should Miss Fish City work to represent

her public actually I do my best work in

private but I also think Miss Fish City

should be a beacon of Grace Beauty and

Purity in this dirty ocean and if I'm

crowned I promise to float tall float

proud

and Float those

[Applause]

babies thank

you thank you Angel while the judge is

handing their decisions let me remind

you that if Miss Fish City cannot

fulfill her obligations for any reason

the first swimmer up will take her place

and now a word from our

[Applause]

sponsor thank you sir you saved my

contest you're a CP or your well we're

not out of the seaweed yet there's still

a t*rror1st fish floating out there

somewhere by the way whatever happened

to the old Walt ween her buns gave

out and the first swimmer up

is Tetra

keski and now the moment we've all been

waiting for the new Miss city is come on

Angel Baby drive it home for Pearl Angel

[Music]

[Applause]

Jones yes she believe it she's gone

She's Out of My

[Applause]

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Life the contest was over but my job

wasn't the file had come through on wk's

employees and they were all as clean as

my whistle except one Tad get me the

hate note sent to WK right here ah

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sir oh Gil it's so incredible pinch me I

must be dreaming pinch me pinch

me now I must be

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dreaming Mr calamari the Shell Shack is

losing its headliner for a year how do

you feel about that Angel's victory

tonight has moved Mr calamari Beyond a

purpal expression that is to say no

comment why wasn't I warned this could

happen before Angel entered this stupid

contest I could have fixed it what am I

supposed to do for the next here while

she's out spreading goodwill have

muscles Go on stage and belly dance well

I did study modern J in my youth shut up

you

idiot you see anybody suspicious no

perhaps a t*rror1st prefers

D what are we smelling for inspector Gil

says a combination of perfume and

weenies what Oscar Mar

delaa what are they sniffing for clue

sir I'm following a

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hunch hey things won't be the same

without you doll I'll miss you too crab

ladies and gentle fish I think it's time

to hear from the lady of the evening my

dear I want to person Sly thank each and

every one of you for being here tonight

your friendship fills me up with such a

warm feeling

inside it's hard for me to say goodbye

I'll miss you and you and especially you

more than words can say so before I go

I'd like to give each and every one of

you a big wet

[Music]

kiss

we're getting close I know she's here I

can feel it in my gut sure it's a she

sir sure I'm sure I've known she from he

since I was 13

[Music]

Tad so what's next sir a Weenie Roast

fish police

freeze somebody grab that

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weenie

[Music]

everybody stay

back sh the original waling

weenie for 20 years I played the waling

weenie with relish till last month WK

told me my fins were shot and my shells

were sagging so he canned me what was I

supposed to do she couldn't cut the

mustard

anymore years of faithful service and

then I'm flush down the turet like a

dead goldfish who here would put up with

that not this fish sister show his

bottom feeder what a

creep I'm taking the weeny King Empire

down I'm going to sue your buns off my

card we have an excellent case against

him well I'm going to press charges my

card we have an excellent case against

[Music]

her you're going to have to get in line

WK the city has a few charges of its own

against her I hate to do this to you

Shelly but the only Walt scene you'll be

doing for a while is with a warden named

wide Wanda after what you drove this

poor fish to do I'm officially off weeny

King weenies

no more weenies no more weenies now

Shelly perhaps I have been a little

harsh I tell you what when you get out

of Slammer honey you look me up and I'll

put you right back on the

[Music]

payroll I'll see you in 5 to 10 stiff

upper shell kiddo if my shells had been

stiffer I'd still be the walting weenie

now weren't you about to make that going

far far away

speech winning is important but not as

important as losing Gil I almost lost

you tonight so what am I chop squid and

my beloved benefactor Mr es Scotti

calamari whatever would I do without him

it's questions like that to keep me

awake at night and pearl you're the

first female friend I've ever had I

couldn't bear to lose you either or any

of my

friends

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so Tetra you are the new Miss Fish City

float tall float croud and I forget the

rest

what' you do Gil

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propose Angel won the beauty contest

that was good she gave the crown to

Tetra that was bad at least Pearl

thought so we solved the weeny King case

that was good it turned out to be my

beloved walsing weenie that was bad at

least I thought so let's see if we enter

angel in the Miss s Seas cont test

that's at least seven places she'd be

gone to oh and when you factor in lost

luggage it could be years before she

comes back oh oh here's one miss polar

ice cap exactly how far away is the

Arctic Ocean Pearl you're being silly

sensible stubborn supportive

sweetheart say

love close hey it's 8:00 in the a.m.

what are you a couple of salmon they got

places Upstream for that kind of thing

you know people got to eat off that

counter what's the matter with you I

wish I had a video camera