03x24 - 10 Year Anniversary Special: Mammy's Boo Who?

[bunniefuu]

Two. One. One. Count me in on it.

Okay everybody.
Here we go. Lights. Two. Go.

Sound. Three. Go.

Floor. Four. Go!

Good luck everybody. Run titles.

Ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome to Mrs.Brown's boys live.

Mr. Brown.

W-o-o-m-b.

No, no, w-o-o-o-o-m-b.

Mommy, it's just w-o-m-b.

Catie, have you ever even
heard an elephant fart?

Here I'm heading down
to the shops. Do you need

any sweets or fruit
for the trick-or-treaters?

No, I'm ready for them. Good. So, how did
your night out go with Sharon last night?

It was great. Just a few drinks and.

Sharon was full of gossip.
Was she? Tell me.

Right. Well, Peter Lightburn is retiring.
Again? That's once a year at least. I know.

But did you know about
Heather McAnally's husband?

Campbell, the one-legged fella?
Not anymore. He's lost the other one, too.

Oh, no.

Heather wants to watch it.
He's leaving her bit by bit.

So, what are you wearing
tonight for the Halloween

ball in Foley's? You'll
have to wait and see.

You should go as Hannibal Lecter.
That way you won't...

You won't need a costume or a mask.

Very funny.

I wasn't joking.

Hello there and welcome to Mrs.
Brown's Boys Live.

It's going out live in the UK,
Ireland and the United States

of America and I think a
little bit of weed just came out.

It's our Halloween special.
The last one we did, oh,

some years ago, in 2016,
had 11, over 11 million viewers.

I don't think we'll have that many this
time. So I'd like to welcome both of you.

It's a Halloween special
and the only instructions

that the producers have
given me is to stay clear of.

double the ententes.

I don't know what the feck they are.

But it's Halloween, so I
hope you're having a good

time in your mask with
your mouth full of nuts.

No.

Well, it's too late now.

I love Halloween.

The kids knocking at the
door, all dressed up, all excited.

As you can see, I...

Blew, didn't I?

As you can see, I do the whole
house up for it. Isn't it nice?

Granddad, you want a cup of tea?

Look at him, he loves Halloween, don't you?

Daddy, you're making a much
bigger deal out of this than

you need to. No, I'm not,
Maria. It's just Mark being Mark.

Just us, Mrs. Brown. Hello, you two.

What's up?

What's wrong? It's your son.

He means well, Betty.
He doesn't care what Bono does.

Of course he cares.

Look, don't do this
in front of Mrs. Brown.

Oh, the favorite son?
No, no, Betty, calm down.

Look, here's a cup of
tea. Thanks. Tell me all

about it, and I promise
I won't take sides.

What's the problem? Your son's an as*h*le.

And you're a b*tch, so what's...

Mrs. Brown. I'm just saying,
sometimes, sometimes, that's

all I'm saying. So what
is it that brought out the...

You know, that made the...

...conflict?

Bono doesn't want
to dress up and play

trick-or-treat, and
Mark says that's all right.

Okay. Not okay. It's Halloween.

Dressing up and playing
trick-or-treat is what

kids do at Halloween.
Yeah, but kids? Yes, kids.

Betty, Bono was 15.

That's what I said.

He's still a child, Mrs. Brown.
What age were your kids when they

stopped? 12 or so. I can't
remember. They just grow out of it.

Hello there!

And then again, some of them never do.

Hello, son.

What's that, diarrhea again?

I'll put a spell on you, and I will
shove that broom up your... Mrs. Brown.

Would you have a word with
Bono, would you? Listen to his

granny. Okay, I'll tell him
to come over after school.

Thanks very much. I'll see you
later. I don't really want to get

involved. Look, I'll try and talk
to her. Thanks, Maria. Thank you.

What was all that about? Oh, just...

Betty doesn't want Bono to grow up.

Would you like a drink, son? I think I
have some O-negative in the fridge.

Nah, we're promoting that haunted
house thing down at the community

centre. Oh, lovely. I'm Count
Dracula, the Prince of Darkness.

So you just take random
people and suck them dry?

I had a sister who used to...

I don't want to talk about it.
So, who are you, Buster? I'm a witch.

You're a warlock.

No, I'm a witch. A witch is a woman,
a man is a warlock. Well, I'm a witch.

Buster, do you know the difference
between woman and man? I do. W and O.

Well, Einstein will never be
dead when Buster's around.

Einstein's dead?

Who's managing Chelsea now?

Here, I'm going to go with Popeye.

Come on, we better
get to work. You're right,

Buster. Here, you drive.
I'll race you on me broom.

Buster, you realise you're
not a real witch? Yes. Or am I?

Abracadabra-poof! That's a magician.

Mizuno! That's a sports company.

Oh, eh, Alakazam! Another, another
musician. Eh, I'll just go. I'm going. Whee!

You think I'm gonna have a
job getting that costume off him?

I tell you, dressed like
that, he looks like his mother.

Who's that? What? Somebody
just walked across without the door.

The door's closed, man.

I'm sure I saw somebody.

Get your door at the end, you little dog!

God, he nearly gave me a heart attack.

Tea's ready, Grandad.

There you go, Grandad. Now.

Hello, Agnes.

Nothing to say to your husband?

Richard Brown.

Left, left, your other left, father.

Looks good, Sharon. I know.
I think my bit is good too, eh, Trevor?

Yeah, sure.

Looking good, Sharon.
Thanks, Kathy. A lot of it was my idea.

Right, well, well done, Father Damien, too.

I'm surprised to see you involved, Father.

Halloween being a pagan
thing and all that. Actually,

Kathy, it's a holy day, too.
Really? Yes, All Souls Day.

Yes, it's All Souls Day. In ancient
times, it was believed that the

dead who were troubled would
rise from the grave just for one day.

But today, we just take time to remember
those who've passed and pray for them.

So is that where all the
ghost stories come from? Yes,

the Halloween we have
now actually started in Ireland.

It goes back to the mid-17th century.
Sharon Bord, now.

Come on, Damien.
We'll go down to Mammy's and have a cuppa.

Girls, is there any souls you'd like
me to pray for? Oh, yeah, Terry Green.

Has he passed? No,
not yet, but he's asked me

on a date, and I can't
see him surviving it.

Come on, Damien.

You're awful.
So what are you dressing up as for tonight?

A fairy!

What about you? An Olympic sprinter.
Green hair and all in Lycra.

Really? No. A pussycat. Meow.

Well, I bet your date, Terry
Green, is coming as a mouse.

But you're dead. And
yet, here I am. What

are you doing here?
Were you thrown out of...

Heaven?

Do you remember my last words?
Yes. Oh, f*ck it, the bus.

No.

My last words to you.

I said that I would haunt you.
Well, here I am.

Ha, typical you. Took you 25 years
to get around to it, you lazy b*stard.

You put on weight.
That's because I'm happy.

Why don't you go back to where
you came from? It's Halloween, Agnes.

After 25 years, they let you pop back to
visit your loved ones. Well, big mistake.

You are not loved here.

Why not? What did I do?

Not you, Winnie. Him. Redsir.

Redsir? Yes, Redsir.
I bet you're surprised to see him.

Well, I would be...

If I could see him, very
surprised. Winnie, he's

just there, sitting right
there. She can't see me.

Hello, Redsir.

You're looking well. No, no,
no, wait, Winnie. No, he's not

there. That's what I said,
Agnes. No, no, he's over here.

He's on one knee, tying his shoelace.
He's wearing shoes. Of course he is.

Hello there, Redsir. No, no, no, Winnie.

No, no, no, Winnie.
You're talking to his Willy now.

Oh, Redsir, will you stand in one place?

Has he gone? Yes, he's gone.

Cheek of him, popping in like
that without any warning. Exactly.

He's put on weight, and he
looks taller than I remember.

What do you think of his haircut? I didn't
like it. And his shirt? It was too blue.

Yeah. He's put on a bit of weight
around the shoulders, hasn't

he? Yeah. Yeah. You couldn't
see him, Winnie, could you? No. No.

I was only humouring you,
Agnes. Well, I'm telling you,

he was here, right there.
Well, at least his ghost was.

Agnes, you always get
like this near his anniversary.

Winnie, this is October.
His anniversary was in May.

Is it that you miss him?
No, I don't miss him.

You miss the sex? No. You're right.
Sex is a pain in the arse.

Winnie, the line was,
sex is a waste of time.

Because if you say
sex is a pain in the arse,

I'm going to have to
say you're doing it wrong.

Do you want a cup of tea? Yes, please.
Just a quick one. Very quick.

Here, Kathy was saying that
Peter Lightbourne has retired again.

Well, I might do that. Do what?
Retire and live off my money.

And what would you do the second week?

Here, what are you wearing
tonight at Foley's for the Halloween

party? My God, I forgot all
about that. Here, scratch the tea.

I've got to hire myself a
costume. I suppose she

could always go as a,
oh, let me think. A ghost?

Oh, you're back.

Well, I can tell you now, you've
been no help to this family. All

you've ever brought to this family
was disappointment. Disappointment.

You never helped with
anything around the house.

Ha, you say that, but
did you ever do it? No.

Well, answer me, did
you? Answer the question.

Did you ever? No, no,
I dare you, answer it.

What's going on? I don't
know. Oh dear, is she

losing it? I'm not sure
she had it to begin with.

Aha, aha, now, say it to
them, go on, say it to them.

You never gave any of
them a chance. Go on, say it.

They can't see me. Can you
see him? It's okay, Mammy,

you've been under a lot of
pressure. I'll call on Dr. Flynn.

Mrs. Brown, have you been taking
medication? What? Anything that

would make you high? Not as
high as you, Father. Certainly not.

Hiya, Dr. Flynn, it's Trevor, Trevor
Brown. Mammy's hallucinating

or something. Yes, get her,
would you please, and hurry.

Trevor, is there anything
I can do? Yes, round

up everybody, we need
a family meeting on this.

Come on, come in here
and show yourself, I dare you,

come on. Leave me alone.
Not you, pumpkin head, him.

I met Father Damien outside, he said
Mammy's on drugs or something. What's

going on? I don't know, I left Kathy
in Foley's, watch Mammy, will you?

Yeah, sure, if you see Buster, tell him
I'm here. What's happening, Mammy?

Now, now, you have the
whole family thinking I've lost my

mind, I hope you're happy
now. You lost your mind long ago.

I have to slap somebody.
Come on, Mammy, relax. Mammy, Mammy, Mammy!

Breathe, Mammy, deep!

Deep breaths, Mammy, deep breaths.

That's it, now how do you feel?

Better?

Better, much better. He's gone.

What's funny? I was just thinking
about you there, standing there

going breathe, breathe. That was
your father the night you were born.

He'd just stand there,
breathe, breathe. When I came

home, he'd be eating his
dinner, I'd go swallow, swallow.

Hard to believe that was 36 years ago.

My God, it only seems like yesterday.

Really?
Do you remember being pregnant on me?

Oh, God, yes.
My arse was as wide as the airport.

What were you hoping I'd be?

About four pounds lighter than you were.

Really?

No, no, I remember that birth.
The most beautiful time of my life.

My birth was?

No, no, no, it was
Max's birth, it was Max's.

Of course it was.

No, I forgot your birth
because I didn't want you.

What?

No, not I didn't want you.
I didn't want a baby, not

then. But then you came
along and I was bowled over.

What did you think the
first time you saw me?

The doctor handed you to me.

He only has one eye.

I sent for the doctor because you had
a red ring around the back of your neck.

And I asked the doctor, I said, is he
alright? And the doctor said, he's just fat.

Oh, Mummy.

Ah, no, no, love, you were,
you were, you were fine.

Alright there, Mo.

Hello there.

Hello, Mrs. Brown.
I believe you've gone mental.

What?

I brought Blister over.
He's never seen a lunatic before.

There you are now, son.

Buster, she's just dressed.

I'm not dressed.

Hello, Blister. You
look great. Look at you,

all dressed up for
Halloween. You look great.

So what are you going to say to
people when you knock at their door?

Give me some sweets or
I'll burn your house down.

I taught him that bit.

I got here as quick as I could.

Oh, you're too late. For God's sake.

We don't need a doctor. He's already dead.

Grandad's dead?

What's wrong?

Grandad's dead.

Grandad is dead?

Where's me tail?

You said he was dead.

Your mother said he was dead.

No, not Grandad.
Your father's already dead.

We don't need a doctor.

Mammy, what's wrong?

She's mad. Isn't she, Blister?

Buster, will you stop?
And keep little Al Capone there quiet.

I'll burn your house down.

Not here. Not here.

Sit yourselves down.

They're all here, Dermot. Bring Mammy
into the sitting room. Family meeting.

For God's sake. Family meeting?
We didn't even have a family meeting.

Jesus, the worst of things. Never
mind the best of things. Family meeting.

Ah, Bono. You're dressed up. Good boy.

Thanks, Mrs. Brine.

No problem.

I didn't do anything.

Look, you're all very good for coming
over, but wait a minute. Who are you?

Trick or treat.

Johnny Jasper, you're not even one of us.
Get out of here.

Hey, no, that's sweet, baby.

Hey, you two. Out now.

Oh, nothing like out now to move people.

Look, you're all very good for
coming over, but look, it's all souls day.

I haven't lost my mind. Your father came
back to haunt me. It's as simple as that.

Stop. Look, why don't you believe me?
Why would I lie?

Because it's not possible.

No, just wait one minute, Father.

There are millions of records all over
the world of people meeting poltergeists.

But the dead don't just appear.

Really? What about Our Lady of Lourdes?

He's right. And Our Lady of Knock?

He's doing science in school.
He gets an A every time.

I bet he does.

Is he here now, Ronnie?

No.

Wait!

He's just there.

The best thing to fight fire with is fire.

Bunny, the fire brigade prefer water.

Shut up, Buster.

Hey, I'll bring her out.

Jesus, weird kid, Buster.

I know. He gets a C in every exam.

What you need, Agnes,
is to have an exorcism.

Don't be ridiculous.
I don't even have a vibrator.

No, an exorcism.

Father Damien, you know what I mean.

I do. The instructions are in here.

Oh, wait a minute. Is this wise?

I've never done one before, but
I'm sure it's straightforward enough.

This should be fun.
He'll never get rid of me.

Okay, who should be in attendance?

The exorcist? That's me.

Get on with it.

No virgins.

You'd better go, Sheldon.

Good luck. See you later.

Nobody who has not been
to confession for two weeks.

That's us. Let's go.

Nobody who has taken
part in a satanic ritual.

Oh, I'd better go.

Really?

What are you talking about?

Agnes, it's a long story.
I needed the money.

And they said I could
keep the chicken at the end.

And the exorcist should be
the only clergy that can attend.

Oops. Sorry, Trevor.

I told you he'd never get rid of me.

Okay, Father. That's it. Do it. Do it now.

Be gone, demon. Be gone!

Go on. Keep going. Keep going.

That seems to be it.

Ah, you're f*cking useless.

I really thought it would be
a bit more dramatic than that.

But that's it.

Well, thanks for trying.

But did it work?

Yes, Father, it did. You were fantastic.

I knew I could do it.
Right, I'd better get the Foley's.

I'm judging the costume event.

I'll walk you to the door.

And I'll be right here when you get back.

No, you won't.

You can see me.

Grandad, you can see him?

Yes, I can. I can see you, son.

But they said only my loved ones could.

I am your loved one.

I'm probably the only
one that ever loved you.

You were an average child.

You were a terrible father.

And a horrible husband.

Well, you should have
told him that years ago.

Yes, maybe.

But this is something I
should have done years ago.

And don't come back.

He'll be back.

No, he won't.

It's midnight. His time is up.

Grandad, my hero.

Thank you, Agnes.

Will you feel like that tomorrow?

Of course not.

No.

But tonight, the drinks are on me.

Come on, let's get down to folding.

Yes.

Thank you, Sharon.

Well, father, you're the judge.
Have you decided yet?

I've got it down to two.

But maybe I'll let the audience decide.

As the saying goes, help me if you can.

Oh, who said that?

It was either John or Paul.

Ah, the apostles.

No, the Beatles.

Yes, of course.

Here, let me help.

Quiet!

Father Damien has it down
to two, so youse can all decide.

So let's hear your votes
for Dr. Flint's Scottish widow.

Show some pity on a poor wee widow.

What about Bono Brown's
zombie rugby player?

Bono Brown's the name.

And rugby's the game.

Sharon.

Sharon, come down here.

Now, Sharon, give this man whatever
he wants to drink all night on me.

Okay, Mrs. B?

What'll it be, Grandad?

Your finest Brandy.

Single or double?

Bottle please.

Oh, my God!

It's him!

Be gone, demon, be gone!

Mummy, stop it, please!

No, no, it's... Can you see
him? Can you not see him?

Yes, it's Mark. He's going to sing.

Mark?

Who do you think it was?

Nobody.

Nobody you'd know.

I was working in the lab late one night
When my eyes beheld a neary sight

For my monster for his lab began
to rise And suddenly, to my surprise.

It did the monster mash It did the
monster mash It did the monster mash

It was a graveyard smash It did the
monster mash It caught on in a flash

It did the monster mash It did the monster
mash From my laboratory in the castle east

To the master bedroom
where the vampires feast

The ghouls all came
from their humble abodes

To get a joke from my electrodes.

They did the monster mash.

It was a graveyard smash It did the
monster mash It caught on in a flash

I did the monster mash They did the monster
mash The monster mash The monster mash.

Happy Halloween, you guys!