01x01 - Prototype

[bunniefuu]

Oh, George, I know how you can get more respect at work.

A tie says I'm the boss.

You want me to wear a tie to an airplane parts factory?

Yeah, that'll work.

You see, the problem with the propeller is...

Oh!

Honey, I spent 16 years on the line with these guys.

It's gonna take a while before they respect me as manager.

Well, I'm just trying to help.

Carmen, did I put lunch money in your bag?

It's there. Don't worry about it.

I'll just share with the cheerleaders.

They don't eat their food.

That's my carpool. I gotta go.

Please excuse Carmen from swim class

because she's having her period.

What's this?

When did you start having your period?

I don't know. What's the date on the note?

Carmen, you didn't have to write a fake note.

This is wonderful. My little girl's a woman now.

We have to call everybody.

What's a period?

It's a b*llet we dodge. Go get ready.

We can talk about this later. I really have to go to school.

Oh, one sec, honey. I still have to look for the lunch money.

Wait a second.

Excuse Carmen. Excuse Carmen.

Okay, how many weeks have you been having this period?

I don't know, six?

Six weeks.

If you went to a Catholic school,

Okay, I didn't get my period. I just, I hate swim class.

Okay, I didn't get my period. I just... I hate swim class.

Hey, Rico Suave, come on, let's go!

You're gonna make us all late for work.

George, you're not leaving. She lied to get out of swim class.

George, you're not leaving. She lied to get out of swim class.

Carmen! We're dealing with this now.

Look, Angie, is it that big a deal?

Why does she need to know how to swim?

how to swim we're ready here George that's not the point she lied they lie because they're not

afraid of you Benny we're handling this I don't see anybody getting hit we don't hit our kids

Benny we threatened to send them to your house isn't this fun for me okay I know what to do

You gotta learn how bad lying is, so I'm gonna lie to you.

I don't see anybody getting hit.

Not now.

When you're not expecting it, I'm gonna lie to you,

and you'll see how hurtful it is.

Isn't this fun for me?

And don't worry.

I'm finally gonna fix the brakes on your bike after school.

Wait, is that the lie?

Wear a helmet.

You know, George learned that lying trick from me.

What was your lie?

Oh, that we didn't have enough money to send him to college.

♪laughter♪

All my friends know the lowrider

The lowrider is a little higher.

OK, Danny boy.

I'll tell George you're not coming in.

Goodbye.

Wait, Don't be like that

You know you want me!

Come on! let's go out

I'll bring you back

Danny boy, this is George.

Why aren't you at work?

I am sick man

I'm bed riddled.

ahan

I got depression... Tambien!

But I'm gonna get my life together.

I'm gonna move out of my mom's house.

I'm gonna go live with my aunt. You'll see.

I'm gonna show everyone.

I just need a truck

Danny boy, your medical leave ends Monday,

and so does your job. If you're not here, bye.

Not bad for the new guy, huh?

God, it is so weird having you for a boss.

It's like I've known you for so long,

and now I have to respect you.

I'm sorry, but it's so funny.

You know what would be hilarious?

As if I had that Bowman report on my desk that I asked for yesterday.

I don't get the joke, but okay.

What's up, boys?

Hey, George.

Some of the guys are going over to Thirsty's for a beer at lunch break.

You want to come?

Oh, here's the bad thing about that.

No more beer at lunch.

I can't have you guys working on the machines all buzzed out.

You used to.

Hey, those 15 years were a mistake.

Thursday is off limits.

You know what would be hilarious?

You're the manager now, so you gotta say, uh, no beer at lunch.

As if I had that Bowman report on my desk

Then you do your thing, we do our thing, everybody's doing their job.

I don't get the joke, but okay.

What's up, boys?

And don't bring back a big gull with a lime in it,

because I'm hip to that, too.

Oh, man, what happened to you?

In a week, you became Mr. Clipboard.

You remember what we used to say about Mr. Clipboard?

Yeah, we said that if he kept riding us,

we'd take him to the parking lot and beat the crap out of him.

But now that I'm a manager, oh, my God,

that just seems so ghetto.

Screw you.

Buy me a soda from the machine.

You still coming to the barbecue Sunday?

Yeah, I just got to find a date.

What happened?

A couple weeks ago, you were dating two girls.

Well, turns out they were dating each other.

Yeah, they just tricked me into driving them places.

mom what are you doing?

I'm just punching in some of my friends don't worry about it they'll be here

hey that's not fair to the employees who are here on time mom you can't do that you know what they

They told me that I couldn't push out that big head of yours,

but I did that, too.

George, Mr. Powers wants to talk to you.

But now that I'm a manager, oh, my God,

And trust me, he does not want to be tickled.

Hey, Mr. Powers.

Screw you. Buy me a soda from the machine.

There's a craft storm coming.

Is it falling heavy in the mountains, sir?

I was hoping to do some crab boarding this weekend.

We lost the bowling contract, George

Well, turns out they were dating each other.

I'm thinking Ernie and his crew

Morning, Benny.

I can't fire Ernie, he's the best man I got

It's either that or your mom and her crew

Mom, what are you doing?

You want me to fire my mom?

Jack, I get scared wishing her a happy birthday

Welcome to being a manager

Let me know your decision by Monday

Mom, you can't do that.

She got me this job

She's been a line inspector here for 30 years.

Huh? She's probably got some money saved up.

No, Jack! It all goes to bingo and cigarettes.

She's got nothing.

If I fire her, she'll have to come and live with me and Angie.

Hey, Mr. Powers.

How am I gonna talk Angie into that?

I could give you some advice on that.

But I'm not married, and I have no friends,

and both my parents are dead, so...

What did I ask you to do?

That was so terrible.

Nothing.

Whoa, slow down, Jack.

What the hell's going on?

Well, it's either that or your mom and her crew.

I wanted to watch Max and his friends

on the slip and slide Sunday,

and when I told her she should wear a bathing suit,

she went all Mariah Carey on me.

Let me know your decision by Monday.

You talk to her.

She got me this job.

I hear someone doesn't want to wear a bathing suit.

Dad, I don't want to talk about it.

Hey, I don't want to talk about it either.

Let's just sit here a while so your mom thinks I handled it.

If I fire her, she'll have to come and live with me and Angie.

Why did I have all that coffee and chili dogs today?

How am I going to talk Angie into that?

Someone's strangling a duck outside.

We're about to hear it.

and both my parents are dead, so...

Talk fast. The train's leaving the station.

Nothing. Just leave me alone.

I'm Harry.

I want you to let me shave my legs.

Oh, that's a hard one for me, Carmen.

Because I want you to stay my little girl.

Can't you just let the hair grow?

Then when you get old enough,

we'll take you to the woods and release you?

Well, it's not just my legs.

It's something else, too.

Dad, I don't want to talk about it.

Hey, I don't want to talk about it either.

See, that's why I hate swim class.

Everyone makes fun of me.

You know, when I was a kid, I got made fun of a lot, too.

You're stupid, you're fat, your father's a loser.

Your grandmother can be a very cool woman.

Okay.

So is it okay if I shave?

Talk fast. The train's leaving the station.

And I'm going to give you my grandfather's razor.

It's the one I used when I first started to shave.

Thanks, Dad.

And don't you worry.

We're going to do something about that little mustache, too.

Mustache? I have a mustache.

Wait, is that the lie?

You don't get this lying thing, do you?

I don't know why we adopted you.

That's definitely the lie.

Sure it is. Good night, Gretchen.

Oh!

Under your arms, Carmen, you got jungle pits.

The kids at school are making fun of her underarm hair.

That's what the phony notes were about.

Man, I don't know how you do it, Angie.

I thought I had some tough stuff to deal with today,

but taking care of the house and the kids all day by yourself,

I wish I could be here more.

I feel guilty.

You know what I should do?

I should fire my mom and make her like the maid.

It'd be funny, right? I mean, you'd like that.

You wouldn't get mad, right? It'd be funny.

What are you trying to tell me, George?

Okay, look, something happened at work.

I have to fire either Ernie or my mom,

and it's gonna be my mom, Angie.

That's horrible. How can they make you do that?

I think she's gonna have to come and live with us.

That's definitely the lie.

Max wants to know if he can lock his door.

He dreamt that Grandma tried to k*ll him again.

It's a dream about a boy spending time with his grandmother.

Does it matter what they're doing?

Tell Max not to worry, okay?

I'll be up to tuck him in in a minute.

I thought I had some tough stuff to deal with today,

You want to bring that into our house?

Look, this isn't going to be easy for any of us.

Angie, I have to fire my own mom.

How am I going to do that?

Hey, Ma, dump your crap in this box

and follow the guy with the badge out.

You wouldn't get mad, right? It'd be funny.

This is crazy.

Why do you want to relive your childhood?

Wasn't it bad enough the first time?

She's different now.

That's horrible. How can they make you do that?

She's had 20 more years of smoking.

Angie, I think I can finally take her.

Even if she's kicking my a*s, she's got to stop for a smoke.

George, this is her home.

But this is my mother.

Oh, man, why did I have all that coffee and chili dogs today?

George, after 14 years of marriage, I'm immune.

I'll be up to tuck him in in a minute.

She can move in

And you're gonna try and make this work

I mean, you're not just doing this to get her while she's asleep or anything

Angie, I have to fire my own mom.

Do you know how much I love you right now?

prove it how well there's something I want you to do I'll go stretch I want to watch you fire your

mom I'll do it slow my underarms burn your grandpa's old razor was so dull

took me forever didn't you change the blade no I suppose to sweetheart that

was the blade we used to shave grandpa right before we put him in the car

That's why you don't lie to people.

It wasn't a lie.

Hey, George, great barbecue, huh?

She's had 20 more years of smoking.

Oh, uh, she said she was parking my car.

Even if she's kicking my a*s, she's got to stop for a smoke.

Hey, uh, since I got you, there's this rumor going around

there's gonna be some laughs.

I'm not one of the guys who's gonna lose my job, am I?

Who's getting fired?

Look, Ernie, I can't talk about it right now.

Oh, man. It's me.

I'm gonna lose my job. I know it.

Look at George. Look how guilty his face is.

No, if I ever get her, I want her to be awake.

You want to be a boss? Act like a boss.

Come on. Take your friend into the house.

Sit him down. Tell him the truth.

Mom, stop. You don't know the situation.

You're always like this.

You want to be the good guy.

I want to watch you fire your mom.

You're right.

I'll be right back, Ernie.

Can I talk to you in the house for a minute?

What are you doing?

Mom, it's not Ernie. It's a different department.

And a lot of people are going to be hurt by this.

Spit it out, Margaret. I want names.

It's the inspectors.

Look, I'm sorry. I hate this.

but I gotta do what's best for the company.

What's best for the company?

I'm your mother!

Was the company there when you won your Little League trophy?

Mom, you weren't even there.

You dropped me off at the curb.

Who changed your birth certificate

so you could be a big shot playing with all the little kids?

Oh, uh, she said she was parking my car.

But it's been like an hour.

She said you can come and live with us.

there's this rumor going around there's gonna be some laughs.

She's such a saint.

Everything she does is good,

and she's got you like this.

Well, there's more room now that you let go.

Jack, got a minute?

Yeah, sure, come in.

George, George!

I'm laying off my mom and the inspectors.

Really?

I figure Ernie and the guys can inspect their own parts.

If we lose the machinists, we'll have to outsource.

Then a lot more jobs are in jeopardy.

I'm not gonna let that happen.

It's the inspectors.

Big thing in a boy's life when he fires a parent.

My pop never saw it coming.

That was a good birthday.

It wasn't fun for me, Jack.

What wasn't fun?

Firing her. I did it yesterday.

You did what?

George, you weren't supposed to actually fire her.

Jack, you told me to.

Yeah, well, I figured you'd come see me first.

George, it was a test.

Thank you, Angie.

Are you crazy, Jack?

That's why I work in a factory.

I'm no good at tests.

Listen to me. You were the first man from the line

who ever made manager.

I was testing your loyalty.

I just wanted to see if you were capable

of firing your own mother.

Oh, you want to know what I'm capable of?

How's this? I quit!

Oh, no, George, come on. Hey, hey, hey, you can't leave me with nobody to run this place.

Watch me, Jack.

Then a lot more jobs are in jeopardy.

How can I make it up to you?

Shut down between Christmas and New Year's so everybody can have time off.

Big thing in a boy's life when he fires a parent.

My pop never saw it coming.

That would cost a fortune.

Let me let you in on a little secret, Jack.

We don't work that week anyway.

We all just stand around talking about what an S.O.B. you are.

You did what?

All right, all right, deal

Jack, you told me to.

I want two weeks off with pay

George, it was a test.

A test? Are you crazy, Jack?

I give her three weeks

Listen to me. You were the first man from the line

Hey, can I have everyone's attention?

I just wanted to see if you were capable

I know you've all heard rumors about layoffs

But they're not true

Actually, I got good news.

For the first time in 20 years,

everyone's getting the week off

between Christmas and New Year's.

With pay.

Shut down between Christmas and New Year's

Not your thirsties.

First round's on me.

I'm in.

All right, George, he's back.

But if I catch anybody drinking, they're fired.

We don't work that week anyway.

We all just stand around

So what?

So what happened for reals?

Nothing. Don't worry about it. You got your job back. Be happy.

You couldn't pull the trigger, could you, Mr. Good Guy?

I want two weeks off with pay.

Did you take a pay cut?

Did you beg for Mommy's job back?

Okay, that's it. You want it, here it is.

I fired you. Powers was testing me to see if I could do it, and I did it.

Hey, can I have everyone's attention?

Listen.

I know you've all heard rumors about layoffs,

Mom, I fired your a*s.

Look in my eyes.

You say you can always tell if I'm lying by looking in my eyes.

What do you see?

You fired me.

Thank you.

I'm gonna say something I never said before.

I'm proud of you.

You had the guts to fire your own mother.

They finally dropped.

You know, they don't make Hallmark cards for people like us, Mom.

You know, honey, I'm really proud of the way you handled everything.

Oh, thank you, baby.

Hey, how's your mom enjoying her vacation?

You know, I think she's just happy to be out of the house.

Max had that bad dream again.

Grandma was chasing me with a knife.

Oh, man.

Who wants cake?

Okay, that's it. You want it, here it is.