02x17 - Buddy Jolly

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

oh hello there now i realize that i've

only just gone up and i realized i

should be as bright as a button like i

usually am but the thing is i had such a

terrible night's sleep oh i'm sore all

over as well i feel as if i've done 10

rounds with the world champion boxer and

the reason i'm so tired the reason that

my normally comfortable bed has left me

feeling tired out and wrecked with pain

this

this

is a buddha

and i'm going to tell you

something about it have a closer look

despite the fact that he's only small

he's very valuable and some people say

he's got magical properties

as a matter of fact

hello city was it talking about you

no i wasn't just talking about this mind

you i suppose i might as well have been

talking about city i mean small valuable

magical properties now i was talking

about this this buddha this is the

reason that i slept so badly he spent

the whole night underneath my mattress

why

well security best place to put

him overnight he's very valuable and

very very old

does he belong to me well now he belongs

to a friend of mine i got to deliver him

you can't imagine anybody wanting him

why not

because he's fat and old and ugly

but

oh very funny while some people happen

to like things that are fat and old and

ugly

talking about myself again

no sweep i was not talking about myself

actually i was talking about this it's

very very valuable

it doesn't look very happy

what that's because he spent the night

underneath my mattress cheeky

has he got a name

oh no not apart from budry hasn't what

you think we should give him a name

well we can if you like what do you

think sweet

he's got it he's got it what are we

gonna call in there come on

[Music]

buddy jolly

buddy jolly why buddy jolly

because it looks so miserable

all right okay bobby jolly just said

look you two go and use the bathroom go

on off you go go on i'm gonna put buddy

jolly in the packing case over there for

safekeeping

buddy jolly

ah good morning sue are the boys down

yet no not yet matthew sleep well yes

thank you sue

actually no i didn't i don't know why i

said that i had a terrible night's sleep

actually dear what was the problem then

well buddy jolly was sleeping underneath

my mattress oh yes was telling me

about that upstairs where is this buddy

jolly then matthew this is a packing

case all nicely packed up down here okay

oh here comes where's sweet

he's busy

busy well that makes a change any chance

of any breakfast soup yes there's some

toast there with lashings of lovely jam

on it but first what can i see this

buddy jolly um well it's all packed up

sue

oh all right all right all right well

just very quickly i'll just show them to

you but listen so he's going back a suit

cloud city he's going back as soon as

you've seen him all right because as i

was explaining

as i was explaining to the boys he's

very valuable and um

doctor what's wrong matthew uh not

nothing uh sochi would you go and get a

stick and help me to find him

this naughty little buddy jolly seems to

have gone into into hiding um

problem matthew

no no suddenly would you climb in the

box no not down the back of the box

climb in the box and find buddy for

goodness sake god dear i do hope you

find him

oh

oh

he's

he's in that corner huh

is he down there

he's gone

somebody's stolen

buddy jolly

[Music]

what's that what is it it's a note

a note

since you said he was so valuable i have

hidden

buddy jolly in the shop for safe keeping

i know you'll be pleased with me

love

sweep

sweeps move it he's hidden in the shop

that little sausage brain do calm down

matthew well sweet was only doing his

best you put it somewhere safe so just

calm down all right i'll relax real

quick

have a piece of toast well yes a good

idea piece of toast that's what i need

something to calm me down a nice nice

piece of soap

[Music]

i'll normalize that dog i really will

[Laughter]

i have hidden buddy jolly in

the shop

oh hello well we've been looking for

over 10 minutes and there's still no

sign of body jolly there's no sign of

sweep either so see any joy in that box

no we'll carry on looking i want for

pete's sake put some energy into it

would you

i wonder where he can have actually hit

i want

god i wonder where he's put it

don't worry don't worry we haven't got

ghosts there's a reason why this frying

pan fell onto my toe and the reason is

this

any sign of buddy jolly in there scampi

no what

you found something that might interest

me

what is it what is it

another it's another note

one of sweeps lists

tidy up bones count sausages buy more

dog biscuits hide buddy jolly in the top

left and draw check fleet out

hide body jolly in the top left hand

draw

city we found it we

thanks a lot scampi that's great hey

this is fantastic top left hand drop

mind you it's very simple if you think

about it isn't it i mean top level draw

it's so simple that i didn't think at

all

man it should have done because sweeps

very simple as well oh hang on sooty's

coming

you didn't think you'd leave unprotected

like that well you see that's just the

difference between me and you lot you

don't think do you i mean listen if i

was a burglar i could come into the shop

open the drawer like that i could put my

hand in the drawer and i could

what's the problem

oh yes very funny yet very very funny

listen it's all very well you laughing

if this had been my right hand you

wouldn't be laughing would you no that

would be a different matter then

wouldn't it that would bring tears to

your eyes anyway listen to me the fact

is that buddy jolly was not in the top

left-hand draw it says on the note look

hidden buddy jolly in the top left-hand

draw what

of course you're right he's right you

know sweet doesn't know he's left from

his right he's always getting the mixed

up he didn't mean the top left-hand draw

move over there he must have meant the

top right hand draw i'll just have a

look oh oh i'm not putting my fingers in

there maybe pull the mouse traps have a

look with you come on have a look

make sure it's all right

not a mousetrap in sight

great okay i'll just see if the old

buddy's got himself in here it doesn't

seem to be anything in here

what's that

oh for goodness sake look at this

handcuffs

why didn't you tell me there were

handcuffs in the drawer

because i never asked

what oh hello scampi what is it what do

you want

i think it's going

oh swimmingly scampi just swimmingly i

must say listen to me i want you

to go and find sweep and i want sweep

back here as soon as possible and i

don't care where he is or how long it

takes i want him here

now go on

handcuffs well the day started off badly

but it's gone progressively downhill

ever since i suppose the good thing is

it can't get much worse so i

look at this

scamp is fast from the other end of the

handcuffs

to the rail i can't

it's enough to make you want to scream

which is exactly what i'm gonna do so

excuse me

this is ridiculous i

can't get out

where's sue

sue what

what's that

it's another note

beware these premises are protected by

anti-burglar devices

that dog has finally lost his marbles

these premises are not protected by

anti-burglar devices ridiculous

now i'm cross

now i am really really cross

oh

[Music]

oh hello moe it's always nice to see a

customer uh you have you have come to

buy something haven't you i have ear

you're all right you're looking a bit

pale no i'm actually fine i'll probably

just come in now with a cold or

something

what good nick what can i do for you

well

sure you're all right yes yes fine fine

well it's my little nephew's birthday

night this weekend's been going on and

on about having a nice little radio you

know nothing too flashy expensive yes

like you said nothing too flashy but i

didn't want to get him anything from the

market you know i wanted him to have

something of quality i'm a reputable

dealer like yourself

i think you've come to the right place

because i think i've got the very thing

caught for you

i'll get it here

are you sure you're all right

yes

fine

try that try it yes now that's a nice

little one

just let's have a listen

and here is a news flash listeners are

being warned of the escape of a

desperate criminal in the area he's

known as dandruff dan

account of his awful dandruff problem

which gives his hair a powdery white

appearance

this man escaped from the police this

morning whilst being transported in

handcuffs

white hair

hancock yes you're him you are dandruff

done no come here

[Music]

well i managed to pull the red the

railing off

oh there you are thank you for coming

rushing to my rescue where have you been

you've been looking for a sweep

never mind sweet for the moment look

i've got their handcuffs on how am i

going to get them where's the key

where's the key

sweep's got it

that's fantastic look nev never mind how

am i gonna get them off you got the

answer

he says he's got the answer well i hope

he does have the

what is that what is it

axel grease

go on then we'll try anything once put

the actual grease on there going on on

the handcuffs go on

no not not too much not on my hand on

the oh for goodness sake never mind

never mind the actual grease you're

going to have to saw them off okay don't

get your saw go on do you think i'm

making the right move here right brick

listen don't do that

just just saw it just saw it go on

that's it

wait just get on with it get on with it

please

uh listen we're gonna be here all

day if you go at that speed just put

some effort into it

look look

you're sawing in the wrong place go and

get this all look go get the saw

just saw saw here where my finger is

just there just so

no

[Music]

oh listen before anybody gets excited

and thinks that i hurt myself i didn't

actually we were only kidding weren't we

oh and if you think that i was a bit too

cross with sweep you're right i was but

we've made that up haven't we sweet yes

and buddy jolly is now back where he

belongs where i can see him yes well

sweet was only trying to make sure that

buddy was safe matthew yes i know that

sue and that's why i've apologized to

him what city hmm it was a good idea

about the security yes it was a very

good idea about security

that was your idea i know that sweep and

whilst it didn't exactly go according to

plan i've been giving the whole security

thing some thought which is why we're

here in the backyard with a load of dogs

and a load of children hi kids and we're

gonna audition for a guard dog so if

you'd like to walk in a circle show us

your dogs

so

[Music]

so who's in favor of um

who's in favor of penny that was kelly's

little dog you thought she was lovely so

did i what do you think sue well frankly

i thought she was very cute matthew but

my vote goes to brown dog brown dog yes

yes he was what scampi

you like flipper the dog

flip of the dog i don't recall a dog

called flipper who's oh

don't tell me

flip of the dog look put that down there

thank you very much sweet you're very

quiet what's the matter oh never mind

about that matthew who are you going to

vote for who do you want to guard buddy

jolly right well my vote goes for um

my vote goes for

i'm gonna vote for sweep

i'm gonna vote for you because that's my

way of saying i'm sorry anyway i thought

that you were better than all those dogs

put together so congratulations sweet

congratulations you're going to guard

body jolly

well done

and so it was that sweep got the job of

guarding buddy jolly throughout the

night

sweep was very very proud of being

chosen for the job picked out amongst

all those other dogs

he wasn't gonna let me down

no one would get near to the precious

bloody jolly because sweep the fearless

guard dog would stop them

he'd bark

he'd raise the alarm

he'd fight like a hero then after

triumphing over evil maybe he'd be

called to the palace to receive a medal

he'd get to meet the queen even better

he may even be the queen and rule the

world

well

he may have done some of these things

if he hadn't fallen asleep

[Music]

left over right

on his ears

pull them tight

oh hello good morning i had a great

night's sleep last night without buddy

jolly underneath the mattress anyway as

of today we can forget all about good

old buddy jolly because i'm gonna take

him to my friend and actually there's

some money as well

i wonder how sweet got on he was gonna

stay up all night guarding buddy jolly

wasn't he i bet he feels dreadful

without any sleep let's go and see how

he is come on

good morning sweet you've been a very

good boy anyway you can go to bed now

because buddy jolly is

[Music]

buddy jolly is

missing

but sweep you were in charge you were on

guard and you you you fell asleep on the

job

you're sorry

look buddy jolly is missing and all you

can say is sorry what

it must have been an inside job

why do you say that

because anybody else want to set the

booby trap off

what booby trap

so she said to booby trap

where

underneath buddy jolly

i mean underneath buddy john isn't

nothing there apart from this thing

i cannot believe it after everything

we've been through buddy johnny's been

stolen nicked what would my friends say

what will he say

thank you very much for delivering him

back on time and here's 20 pounds just a

minute how do you know what he said

simple matthew while sweep was still

asleep scampi and i took buddy jolly and

delivered him to your friend

you mean

you two took him yes you mean

he wasn't stolen at all no that's right

he's safe and sound with his rightful

owner

what scampi

and here's the money

well just i just don't know what to say

what about fish and chips all around yes

[Music]

all right go on and let's go for fish

and chips going off matthew yes sue

don't forget to put your watch on

otherwise it may get stolen and you

don't like things getting stolen do you

no you're right sue

which is quite right of course well well

well it turns out it was soon scampi

that took buddy jolly after all he

wasn't stolen anyway all's well that

ends well and now if you'll excuse me

i'm going to join that lot for some nice

fish and chips bye-bye everybody

bye bye

what's what's

oh no

i'm handcuffed

to the door

so

[Music]

you