02x02 - Chapter 02: A Man Is Only as Good as His Bird

[bunniefuu]

[TELEPHONES RINGING]

- [KEYPAD BEEPING]
- JOHN ECONOMOS: So, obviously,

that's the bathroom.

And the break room is down there
on the right, obviously.

- Um, what else?
- REPORTER: [ON TV] Amanda Waller will step aside

- as she faces upcoming congressional hearings.
- Oh, check it out. You're on TV.

REPORTER: The president
has appointed Rick Flag

as the new acting director of ARGUS...

- [SCOFFS]
- [REPORTER SPEAKING ON TV]

What? That's not exciting to you?

I know Waller was all
about self-promotion,

but that's not really my bag.

Yeah, A-Dubs did have her quirks.

- What?
- Dubs.

- W. Amanda Waller.
- Yeah.

You know, this post wasn't my choice,

but I'm not sure the president
had any other options, so...

My old pal Rick Flag.

- We're old pals now?
- Thought we were.

Are you sucking up to me
right now, Economos?

- Just a little.
- It's not gonna work.

Yeah, well, it was worth a shot.

And this is your office.

Uh, you need anything else?

- [DOOR CLOSING]
- Actually, yes.

I'd like to see a full report
of my son's death.

♪ [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

- Your son?
- Rick Flag Jr. was k*lled

in Corto Maltese.

I tried to get the files
immediately after it occurred,

but they said it was classified.

As acting director of ARGUS,

I'd like to take a look at them now.

Is there a problem with that, son?

No. I... it's just...
I didn't want, you know,

- it to be upsetting?
- Upsetting?

I think I can handle it, Economos.

Of cour... Of course, you can.

It's just that day was complicated

and any actions taken were
under the order of Waller,

and most of us didn't even know.

Get me the f*cking files, John.

Yes, sir.

♪ [SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

[EXHALES SOFTLY]

I'm tired of coverin' up
their dirty little secrets.

This time, these sons of b*tches
are gonna be held account...

That information gets out,

it causes an international incident!

Keeping the peace is worth any price.

Including the life
of a hero like yours, sir.

- [GRUNTS]
- [GROANS]

- [METAL CLANGING]
- [GROANS]

[PEACEMAKER GROANS]

[HEARTBEAT POUNDING]

♪ [MUSIC SWELLING] ♪

[HEARTBEAT FADING]

RICK FLAG JUNIOR:
Peacemaker. What a joke.

♪ [TENSE MUSIC OVERLAPPING] ♪

- [YELLS]
- ♪ [MUSIC FADES] ♪

- Bordeaux.
- Sir?

I want a surveillance unit
on Christopher Smith,



Sir, the Peacemaker is
in our agency's grace

because of his work
in Project Butterfly.

f*ck the Peacemaker.

♪ ["OH LORD" BY FOXY SHAZAM PLAYING] ♪

♪ Julian, it's a hungry world ♪

♪ They're gonna eat you alive
son, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, Julian when their fangs sink in ♪

♪ I'll stitch you, but then ♪

♪ I gotta throw you back in, oh ♪

♪ You just try and sleep
even though you're alone ♪

♪ You just close your eyes boy
and dream of home ♪

♪ And light is always on
you just keep that in mind ♪

♪ When you wake in the morning
you'll be satisfied ♪

♪ 'Cause there is always
a wrong to your right ♪

♪ And there will always be
a w*r somewhere to fight ♪

♪ And God knows I've had
some rough f*cking years ♪

♪ Oh, oh Lord, oh Lord ♪

♪ Keep on keepin' on ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
la, la, la, la ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
la, la, la, la ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ And God knows I've had
some rough f*ck' years ♪

♪ Oh, oh Lord, oh Lord ♪

♪ Keep on keepin' on ♪

- [SQUAWKS]
- ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
la, la, la, la ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la
la, la, la, la ♪

♪ [SONG FADES OUT] ♪

♪ [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

♪ [OMINOUS MUSIC STING] ♪

- Oh, sh*t!
- [HELMET CLANGS]

[PEACEMAKER GASPS]

♪ [MUSIC INTENSIFIES] ♪

[GROANS] f*ck.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

[PANTING]

[GROANS]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

f*ck!

[YELLS]

[PANTING]

[DIAL TONE RINGING]

You still have those bone saws?

♪ [TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES] ♪

[GRUNTING]

[SOBS]

[BARKING]

[GASPS] Hi, babies! Yes! [LAUGHS] Aw!

Come here, come here.
Oh yes, I missed you.

Oh, Mommy's missed you guys. Oh, h*, h*.

♪ [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

[EXHALES HEAVILY]

[SNIFFLES, SIGHS]

♪ [MUSIC FADES] ♪

- KEEYA ADEBAYO: Lee?
- Oh sh*t. f*ck.

What are you doing?

[SIGHS] I was on my way over to Chris's,

so I thought I'd stop by
and get my hair sh*t...

You can't just come into
this place unannounced.

- I thought you were at work.
- KEEYA: It doesn't matter.

You need to text me before coming over.

LEOTA ADEBAYO: Why?

Because that's what civilized people do

when they break up, Lee.

Thought it was just time off.

What's the difference?

A lot.

Okay. [EXHALES]

I'm sorry.

Why are you going to see
that lunkhead anyway?

He ain't a lunkhead.

He's, like, being really
vulnerable lately.

Sexy new uniform.

You doing okay otherwise?

Other than what?

Other than having to wear
that uniform, I guess.

That's funny?

Man, you just... you're
salty for no reason.

- Oh, for no reason?
- I mean.

No reason? Okay, other than you changing

every single aspect of our relationship,

every single plan that
we had, overnight?

We were supposed to be
going back to Gotham, Lee.

And now what?

You're staying here
to start a... a... a spy business?

People gotta follow their dreams, Key.

- Even you said that.
- Yeah, not when their dreams

are leeching off
of somebody else's reality.

- LEOTA: I'll go...
- [KEEYA SCOFFS]

... because this is gonna end stupid.

KEEYA: It started stupid

when you broke into my apartment.

All right.

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

[PACKAGING RUSTLING]

Love you.

KEEYA: [MUTTERS] f*ck.

♪ [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS] ♪

- [DOORBELL CHIMES]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

PHARMACIST: Connolly,
your prescription's ready.

Hi. I'm...

I'm sorry I couldn't help notice you

when I was standing over there.

I don't mean to intrude, and
I don't know your situation,

but if you're going
through something difficult,

if you're with someone
who's hurting you,

I have resources that could help.

Okay. Thanks.

SHOPPER: Yeah.

Often, we get trapped in a cycle

and we think what's
happening to us is okay.

Mm-hmm.

And I just want to tell you, it's not.

I appreciate it.
That's not what this is.

[SOFTLY] Okay.

So often, women deny what's happening...

I am not a f*cking mirror!

- What?
- I have my own problems, okay?

- SHOPPER: Okay.
- All right?

Is that okay with you?

Sorry.

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

You got a good view there, Beaker?

Beaker? Who's...

He's a Muppet.

- Do I look like him?
- A little.

- And that's bad?
- It's not good.

♪ [MELLOW GUITAR MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

[SIGHS]

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

♪ [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

[DOOR HANDLE CLANGS]

[VAN DOORS RATTLING]

Whoa. That's intense.

Who the f*ck are you?

Fleury. Bordeaux sent me.

Let me see your badge. And reach slowly.

[CHUCKLES] I don't have
to do sh*t slowly, Kemosabe.

You can't discharge that firearm
while it's still in the holster.

But I will do it slowly...

because I'm polite.

I should get a call
if somebody's coming.

- [g*n THUDS]
- [SIGHS]

Well, Bordeaux thought
you might need some backup.

- [VAN DOORS CLOSING]
- So, what's your preferred form of greeting?

Handshake, fist bump, hug?

You a hugger, Economos?

No, I'm not a hugger.

- So, what'll it be?
- What'll what be?

What form of greeting?

I don't know. Maybe just nod, like...

[CHUCKLES] Yeah, that's cool.
That's real cool.

Hey, we got a cool guy
in the van, huh? [CHUCKLES]

Ginger Cool.

You mind if I call you
that? Ginger Cool?

Yeah, I really do f*cking mind.

[CHUCKLES]

Mm.

[POT THUDS]

[SNIFFS]

[SIGHS]

- [GROANS] Oh, God.
- [DOOR CLOSING]

Mm. Can I get some of that?

The coffee.

Sure.

[GROANS]

[PEACEMAKER SIGHS]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[POT THUDS]

LANGSTON FLEURY: Who's the fox?

ECONOMOS: It's Leota Adebayo.

Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm!

She's just a friend of ours.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Did I just accidentally
sexualize someone

that you respect as a friend, Economos?

It's fine. Whatever.

Well, it's just 'cause
I was thinking about

tapping that a*s...
[CHUCKLES] ... you know?

It's weird they got you
monitoring your own crew.

They do that, you know.

I know.

Make sure your loyalty is first
and foremost to the A.

- ARGUS.
- [SOFTLY] f*ck.

You having a crisis of
conscience here, Economos?

No.

Is that why Bordeaux
sent me to babysit you?

I don't know, man. Look.

I'm just doing my job
like I do every day, okay?

- I don't give a sh*t.
- 'Course, not.

You're Ginger Cool.

Are you f*cking kidding me?

- You don't want me to come in?
- It's, uh... [SIGHS]

It's kind of messy in there.

What's going on?

[SOFT TAPS ON DOOR]

[CHIRPS]

Hey, Eagly.

- [SQUAWKS]
- Hey! [SCOFFS]

- He likes you.
- I'm not so sure.

FLEURY: What's the deal with the parrot?

- That's an eagle.
- Hmm?

It's a bald eagle.

It's the symbol of America.

Are you telling me you don't recognize

what kind of bird that is?

Okay, you obviously
have not read my dossier.

I have bird blindness.

[SCOFFS]

Bird blindness?

I can't tell the difference

between one type of bird and another.

Okay, but a duck and an eagle
are totally different sizes.

Yeah, well, they look
the same size to me, man.

[SIGHS] What about, like, a hummingbird?

Tiny bird? Incredibly
fast wings? Hovers?

ECONOMOS: Yeah, see?

Yeah, I only know about
that because I read it.

- ECONOMOS: Yeah.
- To me, they look and move

just like any other bird.

- Wow.
- FLEURY: Bird blindness.

It's my sole weakness.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

FLEURY: What is she showing him?

Um... Oh, that's...

That could be anything, man.

- LEOTA: Quantum what?
- PEACEMAKER: Unfolding Chamber.

It's a dimensional portal

that leads to 99 other universes.

- In your bedroom?
- It's my dad's bedroom.

Yours now?

Yeah, f*cking mine now,
whatever. [SIGHS]

I don't use it much.

I let Eagly fly around there sometimes

when it's too cold outside.

- It's my dad's.
- You never told me about it.

Never thought about it, Ads.
Jeez, it's not that big a deal.

Get the f*ck out, it's not.

I grew up with it. It's normal to me.

It's like you being a f*cking
Christian Scientist or whatever.

- I'm not Christian Science.
- What are you then?

Well, I don't practice much,
but I'm Methodist.

- Oh yeah?
- LEOTA: Yeah.

I don't know what the f*ck that is!

Okay? Normal to you, but to me,
it's wacky Martian sh*t.

You cannot seriously be
comparing me being Methodist

to you having a secret
dimensional portal

- in your bedroom right now.
- I see your point!

Fine. f*cking congratulations, Ads.

You're the winner of the conversation.

We'll get you your gold medal
and your congratulatory watch,

and, you know, your f*cking many awards

to shower you with.
Let's all get together

and do a big f*cking dance routine.

Yeah, that's right. Great.

Just 40,000 people f*cking dancing,

just about how f*cking awesome you are

at doing conversations!

sh*t!

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

Are you having a breakdown right now?

I don't know. [BREATHES HEAVILY]

What's going on with you?

I had a rough night.

I don't want to make it worse,

but you're being monitored right now.

- By who?
- Rick Flag. Senior.

He's the head of ARGUS now.

♪ [INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

- Does he know that I, uh...
- k*lled his son? Yeah.

f*ck me.

f*ck. How do you know all this?

A friend inside.

I'm just gonna pretend
like I don't know who that is.

[MONITOR BEEPING]

♪ [MUSIC CONCLUDES] ♪

- You want my advice?
- I don't f*cking know.

Number one, this portal?

Don't use it because, somehow,
they always know when you do.

- Number two, give it to them.
- It's mine!

They're gonna treat you
like you're hiding

a nuclear weapon in your house, Chris.

Just tell them you don't
know exactly what it is.

It's your dad's, or whatever.

Because if you don't,
they're going to use this

as an excuse to send you back to prison.

Hey, guys.

Who's the nerd?

That is Adrian Chase.

They're, uh... He's just a friend.

[SCOFFS] That m*therf*cker look like

he caught all the Pokémen.

- You know what I'm saying?
- No, I don't.

Super nerd.

Pokémon is plural, not Pokémen.

Well, I'm sorry.

Pokémen's grammar is not my bag, man.

When, uh, you were learning that,

I had two hot b*tches sucking my d*ck.

Mm.

Okay, well, I'll see y'all guys tonight.

- John's coming home party.
- Yeah, we'll be there.

Eagly! [WHISTLES] Come on!

VIGILANTE: So, what are we doing?

PEACEMAKER: I need
a hand with something.

What's all this?

- I had some people over, is all.
- [SCOFFS]

What?

Nothing.

- [TOILET FLUSHING]
- Oh!

- Hey.
- PEACEMAKER: Hey.

Uh, Zora.

Would you do me a huge favor?

Would you mind getting these
people out of here for me?

Sure.

Thank you. [CHUCKLES]

- Well, that's gross.
- What?

There was no time at all
between her flushing that toilet

and coming out of the bathroom.

That means she didn't
wash her hands at all.

- Okay.
- "Okay"? [SCOFFS]

Personally, I don't think
gonorrhea hands are "okay".

- What are you pissed off about?
- I'm not pissed off.

Fine, 'cause I don't need
it today, Adrian, okay?

Fine. Why am I here?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Dude, I f*cked up.

Oh, I see. You're in trouble
and you call me.

But you have a party

and you f*ck a bunch of major hotties

and then you don't even
invite your best friend?

Why do you always pretend
like you're not pissed off

- when it's obvious?
- I'm not pissed off.

I didn't say I was pissed off.

Is it surprising? Yes.

Is it outrageous? Absolutely, it is!

Yeah, I was depressed.

Okay? It was a spur-of-the-moment thing.

I was just... drowning
my sorrows in flesh.

It had nothing to do with friendship.

And to be quite honest, Adrian,

you don't even seem that into sex.

Dude, I'm not into sex
because, like, it's sex.

I'm into sex because,
like a lot of people,

it's an opportunity
to bond with my best friend.

That's not like a lot of people.

Well, I'm not a pervert,
is what I'm saying.

I don't quote-unquote "like" sex.

Shut the door.

- [HINGES CREAKING]
- ♪ [INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

- Are you going in?
- I'm being monitored.

- What?
- They're gonna know.

Know what?

- f*ck it.
- [KEYPAD BEEPING]

[LOCK CHIMES]

[RADAR BEEPING]

- Oh, f*ck.
- Whoa.

[CELL PHONE RINGING]

Fleury. Yeah, we see it.

Yeah, me and Ginger Cool
are on this sh*t.

- Jesus Christ.
- FLEURY: Yeah, sure.

Bordeaux wants to know are you
going to that thing tonight?

- The thing with Smith?
- Yeah, I know what she means.

Yes. Why?

He says he'll be there with bells on.

He said he'll be there "with bells on"?

Well, I added the bells part.
Sounded more poetic.

Okay, Agent, don't do that.
Don't embellish sh*t.

Sorry, Chief. It won't happen again.

Flag thinks we should keep Economos

in the cold on this.

Okay.

SASHA BORDEAUX: So,
after he and Smith leave,

I'm sending you and a team of agents

to do a full scrub of Smith's home.

- Got it?
- FLEURY: Right.

♪ [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

She says to hold.

- So, do nothing?
- That's right.

Okay.

♪ [MUSIC FADES] ♪

So, then you k*lled
your own doppelganger?

- Yeah.
- From another dimension?

Yes.

That's exactly the same as ours,
except everything's better?

- Yep.
- Dude, that's sick!

- Believe me, it's not.
- But why?

I'd love to meet a me
that's me except better.

[SCOFFS] Dude, believe me,
you don't want to meet yourself.

It's chilling as f*ck.

Well, yeah, sure, if you k*ll yourself.

I'm talking about before that, man.

Looking into your own eyes,
it just f*ck you up.

No way.

Here it is.

We gotta get rid of it.

I don't want my other-world
dad and brother finding it.

Yeah, they'd probably
k*ll you if they did.

Cool helmet!

♪ Back the way I came ♪

♪ ["EVIL THOUGHTS"
BY FOXY SHAZAM PLAYING] ♪

♪ Nothin' looks the same ♪

♪ And the breadcrumbs
I've left along the way ♪

- ♪ I have lost my way ♪
- ♪ Now have been eaten away ♪

♪ By the birds I have left in my past ♪

- ♪ The past I've run from ♪
- ♪ Should I proceed? ♪

♪ Should I proceed my darling? ♪

♪ Or turn back around? ♪

♪ Lord, let me know what I should do ♪

♪ Evil thoughts evil
powers seek my mind ♪

♪ I feel lost every time, oh! ♪

♪ Evil force evil ways close behind ♪

♪ I need love
I need love, I need love! ♪

♪ All I know ♪

♪ Isn't always the truth, yeah ♪

♪ All I know ♪

♪ Everything ♪

♪ Isn't always the case, oh ♪

♪ All I know ♪

♪ Isn't always the truth ♪

♪ All I know ♪

♪ Isn't always the case ♪

♪ As the days grow long ♪

- f*ck off!
- ♪ [SONG STOPS] ♪

[GROWLS SOFTLY]

[CHUCKLES] Who's that guy?

That's just some rude m*therf*cker

who I say hi to every time,
and never says hi back!

[INSECTS CHIRPING]

[PEACEMAKER SIGHS]

[PHONE CLICKS]

♪ [GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

[LAUGHS]

Oh, Chris, turn that off. Oh my God.

Come on. Come on. Stop.

♪ [GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES] ♪

♪ ["REAPERCUSSION" BY
THE CRUEL INTENTIONS PLAYING] ♪

♪ When you drink when you smoke ♪

♪ When you scream,
when you cu-cu-curse ♪

♪ Reapercussion ♪

♪ Gotta lie, gettin' high
gotta fight till it hurts ♪

♪ Echo in my mind of chaos left behind ♪

♪ The melodies within
they're kickin' in ♪

♪ [THRASH METAL GUITAR RIFF] ♪

- ♪ Songs from the dead ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

- ♪ Playing in my head ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Evil melodies keep pushing me ♪

♪ For retaliation ♪

♪ Reapercussion ♪

- [MONITOR BEEPING]
- ♪ [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

[WHISTLES]

- Let's go.
- No, no, wait, wait.

Let's give him a few more minutes,

make sure he doesn't
come back for something.

Come back for something?

Yeah, he's going to a party,
a get-together with friends.

Oftentimes, people will buy a gift

like a bottle of champagne,
a... a housewarming thing.

Isn't a housewarming
gift solely for people

- who just moved into a new home?
- FLEURY: No.

It's any gift that you give
to someone in their house.

- It warms the house.
- No, it's not.

It's just for people moving
into a new place.

- That guy...
- Vega.

- Vega. He's right.
- None of this matters.

The point is, is that when
I go to someone's house,

I will often buy a gift,
then I forget the gift.

And then I don't remember

until I'm halfway
to the place I'm going.

Well, personally, though,
I just say f*ck it.

I forgot it. I just want to party.

- Get lit.
- Yeah, I love to get lit.

Bonus, you can drink
the champagne afterwards

by yourself.

Well, that's you.

And that's probably


But a lot of people are
more considerate,

and they will come back.

So in case this hick
is one of those people,

we won't get caught with our pants down.

♪ [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC CONTINUES] ♪

[FOOT TAPPING ON FLOOR]

Stop bouncing.

♪ [PENSIVE MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hold on.

Will you text the others and tell them

to meet us on the roof?

Sure.

ECONOMOS: I gotta say,

you're not really the person
I expected to play host.

Well, Adebayo lives in a snake pit.

Adrian lives with his mother,

who might be rotting Norma Bates-style

for all I know.

And every time I go to Chris's,

Eagly literally tries to k*ll me.

[CHUCKLES] f*cking Eagly.

Oh, this is surprisingly nice.

EMILIA HARCOURT: Yeah,
just look out for the dog sh*t.

as*h*le neighbors bring their dogs up.

- I like dogs.
- You like dog sh*t?

- No.
- Hey, guys.

- How did you get up here?
- VIGILANTE: Fire escape.

I got beer.

Don't be climbing up
my fire escape, dude.

[LAUGHS]

Where do you get this stuff from?

It's funny, right?

- Give me one of those.
- Yeah.

[VIGILANTE SIGHS]

- Want one?
- Duh.

[SHATTERS]

VIGILANTE: Oh, okay.

- Here you go.
- Right, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, okay.

Just hand it to him.

Yeah, no, I'll just...
I'll just hand it to him.

Probably the best thing.
Should've done that right away.

VIGILANTE: Yeah.

- m*therf*ckers! [LAUGHS]
- ♪ [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

- Econogoat!
- What up!

Back home where he belongs.

The missing piece of the
puzzle, man. There he is!

Hey.

- Did you guys come together?
- No, dude.

We met in the stairwell on the way up.

Oh! [CHUCKLES] Okay, okay.

- Chips and dips and brewskis...
- Leota.

... we doin' it up in style!

Hey, Ads.

- Good sir.
- Oh. Mm.

- Miss you, girl. Yeah.
- You too.

Wait, what happened to your eye?

Oh, nothing. It's stupid.

- Hey.
- Ooh, yeah.

- To the 11th Street Kids.
- ECONOMOS: Yeah.

We came, we motherfuckin' rocked it.

[CHUCKLES]

No matter how far away
we are from each other,

even our boy Economos,

no one will ever break us apart.

- Yes!
- Yeah!

- ECONOMOS: Yeah!
- Right on! f*ck yeah, bro!

♪ [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

All right, Mexicali,
you take your gadget,

scan for any anomalies you
find throughout that house.

Ponyboy, don't let them
out of your sight.

t*tties, I want you
to take the front door.

Encino Man, you take the back door.

- Got it?
- Yeah.

But not the f*cking names, dude.

You can't just call us that.

Where do you think we are?
f*cking Berkeley?

How else am I gonna remember you?

You know what? You just got demoted.

Your new name is Barely Legal.

[SCOFFS] f*ck off, man.

Okay, now it's Kewpie Doll.

Keep it up.

- f*ck.
- Let's go.

♪ [INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

[PINS CLICKING]

♪ [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

[GADGET CHIMING]

[GADGET TRILLING]

What even is that thing?

Measures traces
of non-terrestrial energies.

[GADGET BEEPING]

I'm picking up something.

- [UNFOLDING CHAMBER PULSATING]
- [GADGET TRILLING]

[GADGET WHIRRING RAPIDLY]

- What the f*ck?
- Jesus.

This is a dimensional discrepancy.

This is major, man.

♪ [MUSIC INTENSIFIES] ♪

[EAGLY SCREECHES]

- [VEGA SCREAMS, GROANS]
- ♪ [THRILLING MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

KLINE: [IN DISTANCE] Jesus!

[EAGLY SCREECHING]

VEGA: sh**t it! sh**t it!

KLINE: I'm f*cking trying!
It's a bird, dude!

- [SCREECHES]
- [g*nsh*t]

- KLINE: f*ck!
- [VEGA SCREAMS]

VEGA: f*cking bird!

[SCREAMS]

[g*nshots]

Kewpie!

[KLINE GRUNTS]

- [EAGLY SCREECHES]
- [VEGA SCREAMS]

[SQUAWKS]

t*tties! Encino Man! Get in here!

[VEGA SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

I can't tell how big this thing is.

[VEGA SCREAMS]

f*cking bird blindness.

[FLEURY PANTING, SCREAMS]

[EAGLY SCREECHES]

[GASPS, GROANS]

[WHIMPERS, SCREAMS]

♪ [THRILLING MUSIC CONTINUES] ♪

[FLEURY PANTING]

- [EAGLY SCREECHES]
- [FLEURY GRUNTS]

[EAGLY SCREECHES]

[GROANS]

[SCREAMS, WHIMPERS]

[SCREECHES]

[FLEURY GRUNTS, GROANS]

Hold on. Oh, f*ck!

- [GROANS] f*ck!
- [EAGLY SCREECHING]

[SIGHS]

[EAGLY SQUAWKS]

- Thank God. f*ck.
- [WHEEZING]

Hang in there, t*tties.
You're gonna be okay.

[GURGLES, GRUNTS]

- [IN STRAINED VOICE] Look out.
- Huh?

- [SCREECHES]
- [FLEURY SCREAMS]

- [SHARP THUD]
- ♪ [MUSIC STOPS] ♪

[INSECTS CHIRPING]

[CHIRPS]

- ♪ ["DIRTY MONEY" BY IDA MARIA PLAYING] ♪
- ♪ Pay me all your dirty money ♪

♪ I'm your favorite monkey
watch me go! ♪

- [VOCALIST CHUCKLES]
- ♪ Help, help, help ♪

♪ Cocaine shoulda seen the coke get ♪

♪ Lined up in the backstage at my show ♪

♪ Everybody wanna be
full makeup and on TV ♪

♪ Talking 'bout your jealousy ♪

♪ Mum, I know I look insane ♪

♪ But they all promised me champagne ♪

♪ Swear they want me for my brain ♪

♪ Pay me all your dirty money ♪

♪ I'm your favorite monkey watch me go ♪

♪ Cocaine shoulda seen the coke get ♪

♪ Lined up in the backstage at my show ♪

- ♪ Girls in line wanna be a star ♪
- [LAUGHS]

♪ Honey you're not getting far ♪

- ♪ Not with psychotherapy ♪
- ♪ [SONG QUIETENS] ♪

♪ Please, don't put
your parents through ♪

♪ Naughty days in Malibu ♪

♪ Coming off your ecstasy ♪

♪ Pay me all your dirty money ♪

♪ I'm your favorite monkey
watch me go... ♪

[HARCOURT CLEARS THROAT]

Hey.

I pulled you over here
with my fishing line.

Yes, I saw that.

Maybe you think that's disrespectful.

I don't know.

You could have torn a hole in my shirt.

It's not cool.

[SLURRING] Oh, man.

It ain't been the same
since you left, man.

- f*ck you.
- [LAUGHS] I'm serious.

Look, I know sometimes
you think you don't matter,

but you do.

To all of us.

To everyone here.

Do you guys get together
like this a lot?

No, not all of us, just individually.

So me and Chris, obviously.

- ECONOMOS: Yeah, obviously.
- Me and Harcourt.

- ECONOMOS: Harcourt.
- Mm.

And Chris and Adrian,
Chris and Harcourt.

- Chris and Harcourt?
- [SNAPS FINGERS]

[SQUEALS, LAUGHS]

What is up with that?

- Your guess is as good as mine.
- [BOTH LAUGH]

- Oof.
- You doing okay, though?

Uh, hello. Yes.

Mm, you seem a little stressed.

Okay, well, it's the job.

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

- Well, sh*t. Quit.
- ♪ [SONG FADES OUT] ♪

- Quit?
- Yeah.

Yeah, do what I'm doing.

I don't need anybody else.

I just go off and forge my own path.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[CHUCKLES] You making
any money doing that?

- [SNORTS] No.
- [ECONOMOS LAUGHS]

Not yet, but... but... but I will.

- Ah.
- And what you gonna do?

You just gonna... I don't know,

just sit around and be
scared your whole life?

Yes.

I've had crippling anxiety
since I was a kid.

I don't think I'm gonna
change that much now.

sh*t.

No, what are you doing?
What are you f*cking doing?

- I love you, brother.
- You love alcohol. [CHUCKLES]

[FAINT RUMBLING]

KLINE: [MUFFLED] Fleury!

Fleury!

- [IN NORMAL VOICE] Fleury!
- Mm.

- Fleury!
- [FLEURY GROANS]

[SIGHS] A f*cking duck attacked me.

We gotta get these people to a hospital.

We gotta go.

♪ ["THIS TIME IT'S LOVE"
BY D'MOLLS PLAYING] ♪

PEACEMAKER: Even Evergreen's
pretty from above, huh?

HARCOURT: Hm.

PEACEMAKER: Hey.

What happened?

No big deal.

Some dude at a bar f*cking with me.

[CHUCKLES]

Like that time a couple months ago?

- Sure.
- Yeah.

Or like the first time we talked,

you know, in that bar?

Mm, the bar you f*cking
followed me into.

That's the one. [CHUCKLES] Yes.

Yeah. Yes, I did.

I followed you in there 'cause
I thought you were cool.

- Cool?
- Yeah.

- Sure.
- I still think you're cool.

Okay. [CHUCKLES]

Anyway...

That bar, filled with not great people.

It's not a great spot.

You know, I figured

if somebody was looking for a fight,

that'd be a real good place to find one.

- That's all.
- So that's your theory here?

PEACEMAKER: Not a theory.

Just a thought I had I couldn't shake.

That I go around trying
to get into fights?

I don't know what you do.

You wear a costume and go out

and beat the sh*t out of people.

[SIGHS] Maybe it takes
one to know one, okay?

That's not happening.
That would be f*cking stupid.

I'm just saying, you've
just been so upset

ever since Task Force X disbanded.

I'm worried about you.

- Worried about me.
- What?

Yeah.

You know, we both know
that's what you'd like.

What?

Yeah, you'd like me to be some sort of

damaged, broken bird

'cause, you know,

water seeks its own level and all that.

Sorry.

I'm not as f*cked up as you, Chris.

I never said you were.

All right. Uh, f*ck this. Mm.

♪ This time it's love ♪

♪ This time it's love ♪

- ♪ This time it's love ♪
- ♪ This time it's love ♪

♪ This time it's love ♪

♪ This time it's love ♪

♪ Sometimes my heart feels
like beating through my chest ♪

♪ Sometimes we'll be apart... ♪

- ♪ [SONG FADES OUT] ♪
- [BREATHES DEEPLY]

- [YELPS]
- [LOUD THUD]

[GROANS]

Eagly, were you f*cking sh*t up again?

[GRUNTS]

[PANTS]

[TALONS STEPPING]

[EAGLY CHIRPING]

Hey. Come on.

[COOS]

My guy, you're the best.

- [COOS]
- You're the best.

- [SCREECHES]
- [GRUNTS] Hey, hey!

Hey, hey.

- [EAGLY SQUAWKS]
- Sorry.

[SIGHS]

♪ [SOFT MUSIC PLAYING] ♪

[KEYPAD BEEPING]

[LOCK CHIMES, BUZZES]

[UNFOLDING CHAMBER PULSATING]

- [KEYPAD BEEPING]
- [LOCK CHIMING]

♪ [MUSIC FADES] ♪

AUGGIE SMITH: Yeah,
Keith, you find anything?

No, no, no. No one knows where he is.

You call that Karen girl,
the one he's...

Yeah. Okay.

I'm trying to think anywhere
else he could be. I...

What's the blood in the library from?

You don't think it's
those pills again, do you?

[CELL PHONE CHIMING]

♪ ["WE DON'T NEED A CURE" BY
HARDCORE SUPERSTAR PLAYING] ♪

♪ Lalalalalala, lalalalala ♪

♪ Won't be complicated
won't be compromised ♪

♪ No shame in who you are ♪

♪ Trying to confuse us
we don't need a cure ♪

♪ You know you're not alone ♪

♪ If you say it, then mean it ♪

♪ If you mean it, then do it ♪

♪ This one's for the outcast
for those about to fall ♪

♪ This is for the lowlife
this is for us all ♪

♪ Lalalalalala, lalalalala ♪

♪ This is for the outcast ♪

- ♪ We don't need a cure ♪
- ♪ [SONG CONCLUDES] ♪

Pokémon is plural, not Pokémen.

Well, I'm sorry.

Pokémen's grammar is not my bag, man.

When you were learning that,

I had two hot b*tches sucking my d*ck.

What did they look like?

One was blonde and one was bald.

Why was she bald?

What were their names?

Gertrude, Francine.
The Peppermint twins.

- I'll never forget.
- Yeah? Where was this?

In Portland, Oregon.

- Real hot?
- Super hot.