01x06 - Return of the Rooster

[bunniefuu]

[rock music playing]

[Mike] So… okay.

-How do I look?
-[Mike on laptop] Or the macho guy?

Very macho, very manly.

Yeah? Okay.
So, like, uh, good macho, or…? [laughs]

-Classy macho.
-Classy macho.

Uh, so no polo shirt?

[inhales sharply]

Hmm.

Hey, why don't you come watch?
The boys are coming.

[Stevie] You want me
at your stupid course?

You know that I'm losing followers
'cause of your sexist drivel, don't you?

-[Mike] Seriously?
-Yeah. I've got haters now.

They attack me
'cause they know you're my husband.

They're just trolls.
Don't worry about that.

Baby, you wanted me to use this time
to rediscover myself, right?

Well, ta-da!

I'm back! It's been so long
since I've felt this good.

You know, I was thinking,

uh, the two of us could take
a little break right now, just to relax.

-Oh, come on. Stop.
-You're so tense.

Ok, we'll revisit this tonight,
fine, that's cool.

Sweetheart, I can't help it
if you're jealous.

It takes a strong woman
to be with a successful man.

[rock music playing]

[crowd cheering]

Hey. Were you all able to take

the day off
from getting your ba*ls busted?

[all laugh]

[guy] That's right!

Guys, what kind of age are we living in?

'Cause men aren't…
allowed to be men right now.

[men] Yep.

[Mike] It starts early. In kindergarten.

Boys have to sit there. The whole day,
they have to be still, no moving.

They should be running,
fighting, doing it all!

-[men] Yeah!
-But no, boys. Not anymore.

No. Go ahead, try to find me a urinal.
'Kay? An old-fashioned piss pot.

Good luck finding me one of those
in the sea of gender-neutral toilets.

Yeah!

So is it surprising
that modern men are all confused?

-No!
-Exactly.

'Kay, women…

they tend to talk a lot
about… equality nowadays.

Right? And that's great.

But… equality…
doesn't mean that we're all alike…

or that we're somehow the same as women.

-No!
-[Mike] Exactly.

But that's what they're telling us.
So let's stand up to them.

[man] Yes!

-And I mean that literally. Get up, guys.
-[men] Yeah!

[group chattering in agreement]

Now it's time to… show you…
how to get back to… being masculine again.

-Yeah!
-[Mike] Follow my lead.

First, feel your ba*ls.

-[man] Yeah!
-This is your meaty, warm sack.

-This makes you a man.
-[Ivo grunts]

-Feel 'em roll, huh?
-[men murmur]

Know how to make those nuggets shake?
Try jumping. Hmm?

C'mon, jump. Jump, you guys!

-Sorry, guys.
-Had enough ba*ls for today?

-[Ivo] I can't.
-[Mike] Feel your manhood!

-[Ivo] Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
-[men chanting]

-What are we?
-[men] Roosters!

-What are we?
-[men] Roosters!

-Louder, guys!
-[men] Roosters!

-Shout it!
-Roosters!

ROOSTERS

[Merel] The whole apartment smelled
like the inside of a gym sock.

It was so gross.

It was like walking into a…
into a… football locker room or something.

It was just… [sighs]

-What's my problem? Was this a mistake?
-You were unfulfilled.

Yeah, well, I'm still unfulfilled.

You were missing the attention,
and, uh… and you certainly got it.

I didn't. That was another Merel.

Please don't talk in the third person.
It's eerie.

-Hey mom, can I, uh…?
-No, not right now, sweetheart.

Later. I'm talking
to Auntie Pam about grown-up things.

Okay.

Well, at least Ramon reminded you
that you need to put yourself first again.

Yeah. Fantastic.
Right when Greg starts exercising

for the first time ever.

-What do you mean?
-He runs all of a sudden.

I didn't even think he knew how.

-What? Greg?
-What if he has a new girlfriend now?

Ah, no way. I doubt it.

I mean, he probably just wants
to feel good. Like you.

-Wait, what is this? Look at that!
-Oh.

I know I swore I'd never do it
in a million years, but, um…

Daan really wanted to, and, uh…

We're getting an airtight prenup.

Oh my God, that's awful, honey.

Or it's so…
I'm sorry. It's wonderful. It's wonderful.

I am just so happy for you guys. Wow.

-Oh, sweetheart.
-[Jason] No, don't do it!

[Sky] Just sit still!

-You should have told me right away.
-Yeah, well…

-[Merel] What are you guys doing?
-Wasn't the right moment.

[Tess] Dad, you're not done.
Ten notches on the bedpost, remember?

-You're only at nine.
-Yeah, and nine out of ten is good too.

If you got more 90s on your tests,
your mother wouldn't complain.

That's why we're doing this.

-So you don't have to listen to her.
-I'm not listening anymore.

[sighs] Machteld. She's 58,
and she loves Jamiroquai.

Oh, 58, Tess? Come on, really?

-And you're sure she likes Jamiroquai?
-[Tess] Yep.

Dad, come on.
It's like you're running a marathon.

There's only 100 meters left,
and you just stop.

Okay.

This is the last one. Doing it for you.

Hey, your keys.

A magician? C'mon, he's only eight once.
I think we can do better than that.

[sighs] Oh, so now you get
to play the fun dad?

You've always been so stingy,
and now suddenly, it's a bonanza?

Stingy?

Yeah! You send a Zelle request
whenever we go out to eat.

-You wanted to share.
-It's my week. I'll figure it out.

Wait! No! Uh-uh, er…

No. Nu-uh!
Birthdays and holidays are exceptions.

-We agreed to that.
-Okay, maybe we should ask Jason now.

-Hey! Oh, wow.
-[Greg] Look out.

-[Merel] Oh, you're such a child!
-[Greg] Run. Oh!

-[Merel] I got you.
-[Greg] Yep.

He really is the best magician
in the whole world.

He can actually make animals
out of balloons.

How cool's that?

[imitates snoring]

Or… a pool party over at Uncle Mike's!

-Pool party!
-[chuckles] Yeah!

[both grunting]

[both gibber]

Hey, hey, hey. You can be there too.

Gee, thanks… for inviting me
to my own son's birthday party.

Bye, Mom.

Hey, cut Mom a break.
It's over with Ramon.

[gentle music playing]

[gibbers]

[relaxing jazzy tune playing]

[Zoey] Four of our five major sponsors
dropped us and cut ties this week.

-Oh.
-Five.

The invitation to that TV gala
was just withdrawn.

-What about the dress?
-The designer wants that back too.

-Ugh!
-Suus posted she thinks he's disgusting.

You could like that.
That'd be a start, at least.

Well, the best thing to do here
would be to break up with him, I guess.

[sniffles]

With Mike? I love Mike!

Yeah, but heartbreak isn't forever.
Being cancelled is.

[Stevie sighs]

Okay. What if I come out and say
that I don't agree with my husband,

But sometimes opposites attract?

No, don't do that.
Wait for it to blow over. A cyber coma.

Look, Stevie, why are you with someone
who says things like that?

[scoffs] He doesn't mean it.
Okay? It's true.

Really?

[typing on phone]

[indistinct chatter]

-[ringtone playing]
-[whistling]

Mm.

-[call connects]
-Hello?

How come you never pick up?

Tina?

I deleted your number.

[Tina] What? Why?

Well, uh… I thought that, um…
after what you said about my…

my one-time problem,
we were taking a break for a while…

Ugh.

Uh, tomorrow. Can you meet like usual?

Well, I don't know, that, uh…

-Hey.
-Hi. That's a bad idea, okay?

Why's that?

-You're in an open situation, right?
-Yes, that's true, but uh…

We're closing things up again. Sorry.

Hey, come on, Daan. It's important.

I've been meaning to talk
to you for a while now.

Okay. Okay, but we're just gonna talk.
Ya hear me, Tina?

-[whimsical music playing]
-[both moaning]

-We were just supposed to talk.
-Oh, yeah… Later.

-This is it. The last go round, Tina.
-Yeah.

-Sorry.
-Oh, Daan!

Sorry. [moans] Yeah!

[phone ringing]

Tina, listen--

-Hey, what the hell? Who is that?
-What? What are you doing?

-Danny?
-Sweet memories, jack off.

-I'll k*ll you. m*therf*cker!
-Don't… What the f*ck?

-What the f*ck?
-That as*h*le dumped me. Like he's great!

What the f*ck?

-[whimsical music peaks, fades]
-Whoa!

And why'd you sleep with Tina again, man?

God, I don't know.

Just… old habits.

I guess that class
was a huge waste of money.

Oh. If Pam finds out,
there's no way she'll marry me.

I'm screwed. Things were going so well.

-Can't you settle it with Bas directly?
-How, exactly?

Don't know.
Sell him your share of the restaurant.

Give him a good price. Bury the hatchet.

My share is still in Pam's name.

-What? Why though?
-You know, I…

I mean, it was a tax move, really.

Yeah, but you have to make sure
she gives you power of attorney.

-I can't lose that share.
-Whoa.

Well, would you rather…
be alone with your money…

or broke with Pam?

I need Pam. I can't lose her.

Should've thought of that
before you jumped into bed with Tina.

[groans]

Oh, there's my girl.
Why don't you come outside?

Everything okay?

No, Mike. Everything is not okay.

Come on, babe. You lost a few followers.
Don't let it get you down.

I start my own business,
and then you have to piss all over it.

I mean, you're never happy
when I succeed, are you?

Uh-uh. Hey, hey, hey.

I think you might be struggling
with my success, honey.

No, Mike.
I'm struggling with your new posts.

They're nasty and vile.
You don't mean all that stuff, do you?

No, of course not. It's just a role.

-It's the thing you do.
-That's not.

-Of course.
-It's not!

-It is.
-It's not!

We both sell bullshit, sweetie.

We sell bullshit to people that…
that are dumb enough to believe anything.

-Hey, I have real faith in what I do.
-Yeah.

You hate the acai shakes
you're always promoting.

Yeah. That doesn't hurt anybody.

No, but you tell everyone they can buy
their way to happiness.

-That hurts people.
-'Kay, and my yoga content?

I'm positive,
and I motivate people to exercise.

-Right, by posting in those tight clothes.
-See? I had a feeling it wasn't a role!

-No, hey--
-You mean all that stuff!

Since when did you become a feminist?

Since you started your douchebag phase!

-[sighs] Okay…
-Mike!

-I know you love me.
-Of course I do, honey.

Then will you prove it
and stop the macho nonsense?

Well, maybe you should stop.
I mean, you're losing followers.

I get new ones every day. Oh.

Hang on a sec.

Oh.

Okay… It's Joost. From my old job.

He might be…
inviting me onto their talk show soon.

Mm!

Joost, hey. What's up?

Oh yeah,
I've got an opinion on that. Yeah.

Ah, that sounds great. I'd be happy to.

[funky music playing]

-Hey.
-Hey, where you been?

Yeah, sorry. I was just helping out.

We were all over at Mike's,

uh… just putting some stuff out
for the party for Jason.

Oh, nice.

So… Hi.

[sighs]

[clicks tongue]

Y'know, lately, I've been thinking

I could sell all of my shares
in the restaurant.

I could quote Bas a price.

-Oh, really? Why?
-Yeah. Well…

That line of work is exhausting.
It's such a slow-burn kinda business.

That's what I've always said.

I know. And then we'll have
a load of cash left over

for our honeymoon.

Mm! [chuckles]

You give me power of attorney.
I'll sort everything out with the notary.

-Hmm.
-Okay?

Wait, shouldn't I come with you?

Nah, babe.
You really don't need to do that.

-It's just a piece of paper, right?
-Oh, sweetheart.

These sorts of things
can be really tricky.

You will definitely need
a lawyer to look into it.

And I happen to be an excellent one.
Nice, huh?

[chuckles]

-But, sweetie. Sweetie…
-Relax.

I really just don't want to bother you
with this.

Oh, honey.

We'll share everything soon.
That's the only reason to get married.

-So…
-Yeah?

I'm coming with.

Yeah. [sighs]

[mother] Here, have a little more.

-You gave me two helpings.
-[mother] You have to eat.

Mom, I said I'm full.

I can't hear this thing.

That's 'Cause you can't hear anything,
Dad. Come on.

-What'd you say?
-[scoffs]

-[phone vibrating]
-[mother] Mm.

-Who is it?
-Mike.

-[Greg] Hey.
-Hey, I've got some bad news, man.

You have to find
another place to have the party.

-What? No, no, no, no. What's going on?
-What's happening?

The gardener, he, he… he spread fertilizer
on the lawn,

and it's probably, you know,
really poisonous, so, it's uh…

I'll keep 'em off the grass.
Trust me. Don't worry.

Yeah, but, uh, Stevie's been
a little depressed.

She's, uh, really struggling,
and it's a bit, uh…

He's lying, Greg!
You and Jason are always welcome.

[hesitates] Uh, Mike? What's going on?

[sighs]

Okay, look. Tomorrow I have
an interview on TV.

-Okay, but it's at your house?
-No, it's in Hilversum.

And, uh, I won't be around.

And, yeah, like 20 little kids
in my house, it's…

I can't… supervise them,
you know what I mean?

Mike, I promise I'll keep an eye on them.
And Stevie will be there too.

-[hesitates] Yeah…
-Dude. I'm serious.

If I cancel it now,
Jason's never gonna wanna see me again.

Okay, but you promise…
no kids in my house?

Ah. Okay. Yep. I promise.

What really matters, huh?
Your house or your friends?

Yeah, keep talking.
You're not paying the mortgage.

Yeah, because you won't let me.

[sighs]

[kids laughing]

[girl] Hey.

-[gasps]
-Hey. Watch it.

Hey. Mike, thanks. This is so chill.

-I owe you.
-Yeah. Sure.

Well, we're just happy
to have you here, Greg.

-Just what you need. More sugar.
-Look at you!

Let's go, kids.

-Hey. See you. Catch ya later.
-See ya. Break a leg.

[tender jazzy music playing]

[background sounds fading]

[Merel chuckles]

Check it out.

-Look at this.
-Yeah.

-How much did this cost?
-Wasn't so bad.

-It came with the swimming pool.
-Oh. Yeah.

-Good deal.
-That was lucky.

[chuckles]

[clears throat]

So I heard things didn't really work out
with Mr., uh, Ramon.

That sucks.

-How'd you know that?
-Our daughter.

-Right. Of course.
-Yeah.

Ya know, I…
I could probably get him arrested.

-[scoffs] No, that's not necessary.
-No?

It was my decision, actually.

Oh. Huh.

Could be fun anyway.

[both groan]

[Greg laughs]

This party's amazing, Dad. It's the best!

Hmm. Yeah.

EXIT

[intriguing music playing]

-Hey, man. Hey, Joost.
-[guy] Hey.

-Hey, bud.
-Who would've thought, huh?

-Yeah.
-First, I'm getting fired.

'Cause of sexism,
and… and before you know it, yeah,

I'm back again for an interview.

Yeah, you know, I gotta say, that, uh…

that course you're doing has really made
a splash, no denying that, Mike.

Man, oh man.

Yeah, I thought maybe it was finally time
that men got true support.

Support? Honestly, half of the Netherlands
hates you right now.

-Yeah, sure, but the other half loves me.
-[group chuckles]

I, uh… I brought, uh,
something to show you.

It's a format for a series.

I just wanted to run it by the bosses.

-[Joost] Hmm.
-Roosters: The Series?

Yeah, see, the title is… ironic… humor.

-[Joost] Mm.
-Yeah.

-Can Mr. Mulder come to makeup?
-Yeah.

-We're live in ten minutes.
-Yes, got it. No, that's for you.

-[laughs]
-[Joost chuckles]

"Roosters: The Series."

-Sweetie…
-Hmm?

Um, listen. Things might get kinda weird
between me and Bas today.

Oh, why's that?

Well, uh… when we opened our relationship,
I had sex with Tina.

What?

Uh, she was always flirty with me,
and, uh…

you wanted me to look around and have fun,
so it just happened one night.

Yeah, but… [scoffs]
But your partner's wife? C'mon, Daan.

Ah, There you are.

-Ah.
-Afternoon. Are we ready?

-Maarten. Yeah.
-Of course.

[Danny clears throat]

Hi.

So, we're here to conduct
the sale of certain shares

in your restaurant in which you both
hold a 50% stake.

-Yeah. We share everything. Even my wife.
-Guys, hey…

So you knew? That they screwed?
Because they didn't tell me.

Bas, let's just be professional here.

He could have any damn woman he wants,
but he takes mine.

Hey, she took me, okay?

[Maarten] Good. On to the transaction.

First, take a look at the agreement.

Fine.

-You're completely fine with this, Pam?
-Bas, sh*t happens. Right?

Jesus, blame monogamy.
It's a flawed and problematic construct.

Yes. Yeah, I definitely agree with that.

Yeah? So you're okay
with two years of him screwing Tina?

-Two years?
-[tense music playing]

Yeah. [sighs]

-That's what she told me anyway.
-You mean you were cheating?

[Maarten] Don't you have
an open relationship?

-Yeah.
-Yeah. As of three months ago.

Pam, Pam…
It's… it's not what it sounds li--

Sorry, I'm afraid
if Pam doesn't sign this,

I'll have to take the deal off the table.

[Bas] Yep.

-[tense music subsides]
-[applause on phone]

Mike Mulder, influencer and life coach.

Welcome. How are you?

Great. Very good. Excellent. Uh…

Since I proudly embraced my manhood,
I'm back to my old self again.

Right, you're referring to your course,
uh, "Back to Being c*ck."

Yeah.

Don't you think it's a little late
to be battling feminism, Mike?

Well, I have no problem with feminism.

The more female energy,
the better. [chuckles]

However, I just reject the idea
that men should act like women.

-Explain that.
-Well, uh…

Why can't we own up to the fact
women and men are different?

It doesn't have to be negative.

Can you give us an example?

Sure, just look at our roles right now.
I'm talking, and you're interviewing.

-Yeah.
-[Mike] So why is that?

Hmm? Is it because most women

actually tend to be better
at asking questions,

and most men are better at giving answers.

[chuckles] I'm sorry, but you're…
I mean, c'mon, you gotta be joking, Mike.

Well, what do you think?
Here's my main point, 'kay?

Men have always had strong,
masculine role models. Right?

But now that's forbidden.

And that's why we're all
a little bit confused.

-Men are the victims in your view?
-[Mike] Well… [scoffs]

Here's the crux of my message for you,
and, uh… and, yeah, actually

to… all, uh… the audience.

We're equal, yes, but we're not the same.

-Do all men agree with this, Mike?
-Oh yeah, and women too.

You'd never believe how many emails I get

every single day
from women who are longing

for the dudes
in their life to bend them over

and take them the old-fashioned way.

-Look, it's true…
-Miss Stevie! Come here!

They're in the house!

Miss Stevie, there are kids
with water pistols inside the house.

-What should I do.
-Eh, it's okay.

Wait, Miss Stevie.
Mr. Mike said no kids inside.

Mike says stupid things, Andrea.

[Andrea] Hurry up, there are kids inside
with water g*ns. We have to get them!

-[Merel] You go left, I go right.
-[Greg] Yep. Okay. Out. Come on.

[yelps] Get out of here.

Uh, no, no. Hey, no.
Not with that water g*n. Oh…

[groans] Not the squirt g*ns.
Come on. Get outside.

Hey, hey, hey. Come on out!
I'm serious. Hey, what the…? Ugh…

What? What?

-What are you doing? Wait. No.
-No. Hey.

That's not yours. Okay?

-You look great, though.
-[chuckles]

Wanna try it?

Right. I wouldn't be able
to fit one leg in there.

[chuckles]

[sighs]

-Make you think of…?
-[Greg] You mean that time…

[imitating Merel] "Oh, Greg, take me."

-[laughs]
-"I need it."

-I didn't…
-[Greg] Yeah?

It's so embarrassing. I don't wanna…

I should have done it, though.

What?

I should've taken every part of you.
Really. I…

I mean, you were totally right.
The effort wasn't there.

I thought everything would be fine.

I'm sorry, baby.

[energetic music playing]

[both panting]

Oh yeah, that's it.

[moaning loudly]

-Oh my God, I missed you!
-Yeah, me too.

[both panting]

Yeah. Oh! Like that!

-Mm!
-Oh!

-[laughs]
-[gasps]

[moans]

Shh.

[moans loudly]

-[host] And your wife. Um, Stevie?
-[Mike] Yeah.

What does she think about your views?

She completely agrees with me.
And Stevie's always been…

-Very successful on her own.
-[host] Mm.

Clearly, my wife
was never much for weak men.

Weak men? Isn't that painting
with a broad stroke and…

What?

Okay. Um…

Mike, we actually have Stevie live.

-She just called in on our studio phone.
-[chuckles]

Stevie.

[Stevie] Hello.

Hey, honey. Mm.

Mike, I can't do this anymore.

What?

I can't be with a man
who's peddling this kind of crap.

You just spoke to men
that can't handle a strong woman,

and you created a business model
out of their misogyny.

I can't believe how pathetic that is.

Hey, sweetheart.
Why don't we just talk about this later?

I used to find
that macho stuff really attractive,

but everything's changing, honey.

I'm sorry, Mike.

But I know that if I stay with you,
I'll end up losing myself.

This is over.

[gloomy rhythmic music playing]

[chuckles]

-Mm.
-[both chuckle]

[music fades]

[gulls crying]

Well, I think I have, uh… everything.

Just text me…
if I forgot something, and I'll swing by.

I'll just put it in the garbage.

-Uh, Pam, I--
-I've got something for you.

Hmm?

[somber cinematic music playing]

Put it under warm water.

[Danny inhales sharply]

[door closes]

[gentle music fades]

[Ivo] Hey, sweetheart. Uh…

-Hey, Dad.
-Back a little early?

Yeah. Who's in there?

Uh…

-Mm. Um…
-Ten women? Oh my God!

I'm so proud of you, Dad!

-You're officially over Mom. Yay!
-[Ivo] Mm.

Hey, honey.

Are we celebrating?

[gasps]

I just need to put some clothes on,
and let's order a pizza yeah?

[Ivo] Mm.

All that work, and then you do this?

You do realize this means
you have to start over?

No, it's completely different now.
She's so much sweeter, and the sex…

-Oh. No, stop. Mm!
-It was a three-round knockout.

-In bed. In the shower…
-[groans]

Oh, wait, Tess…

I need my Tinder account deactivated.

-[scoffs]
-Hold on.

Or maybe just pause it. You never know.

[chuckles]

Thanks for the party, Dad. It was awesome.

-Thank Mom.
-Thanks, Mom.

Mm-hmm. Here, let me sit down.
Of course, sweetie. C'mon. Bedtime.

-[Sky] I can't believe Lexi won today.
-Won what?

[Sky] Hide-and-seek. She was
in Uncle Mike's bedroom the whole time.

She didn't get scared
that she was all alone?

[Sky] No, because you guys were there too.

She said you were fighting.

-Fighting?
-Uh, no.

She said that you were cursing super loud
and that you gave Mom a spanking.

Uh. All right, remind Lexi to save
her imagination for story time, okay?

-Yeah. Sleep tight, baby.
-Okay, go to sleep.

-[laughing]
-Sleep tight.

-[softly] Damn you, Lexi.
-Not good.

-We were fighting.
-I know. I feel terrible!

[Greg] Oh man.

[both sigh]

We gonna talk about today?

I just found you very attractive.

Yeah, likewise.

And now?

Oh, definitely.

God, it's so stupid that it works
when we're not together,

but the second we actually decide to--

Yeah, sometimes you have
to get away first… to come back.

Oh my God. #GoodLifeWithStevie.

[scoffs] Nah. My mother.

-Oh!
-[laughs]

[sighs]

All right. What now? What's the plan?

Yeah, I don't know.

If we get back together, we might…
we might get bored again.

Yeah, but
I don't wanna be separated either.

No. You're right.

-So?
-[both chuckle]

Yeah, so…

Um…

Do you think…

is an open relationship an option for us?

-Uh… oh… Greg!
-Yeah. Uh…

[inhales sharply]

Mm?

[mellow rhythmic music playing]

I'm back.

There she is!

Honey, that little stunt
was a stroke of genius!

I didn't get it at first, but…
[chuckles] …God, that was so clever.

Here. Wait a sec. We're trending, honey!

You've got your status back
as a women's empowerment guru,

and, well, my course is, uh, blowin' up!

Uh…

-Where are you off to?
-I'm leaving.

C'mon, really?

Sweetheart.

Look, being with you has taught me a lot.

Really, thanks to you,
I found my independence.

Otherwise, I might've wound up
just laying out by the pool forever.

Seriously. Thank you.

Uh… [sighs]

Okay.

-We can go back to how things were.
-Yeah, I don't want that.

-[car horn honks]
-[Stevie] Mm.

[tragic cinematic music playing]

[Stevie] Mm.

Sorry.

-Andrea, you're leaving too?
-Women support women, okay?

But I've been your meal ticket.
You work for me.

No, listen, I used to work for you.
And, sorry, but I work for her now.

[car door closes]

[gentle music playing]

[Bram] What does it really mean
to be a man?

The masculine man is a sick man.

And if we surrender our privilege,

let go of our ambition and aggression,

begin to acknowledge
our true vulnerability,

learn how to forgive ourselves and others,

devote ourselves
to caring for our children,

none of that will diminish our manhood.

The hyper-masculine man
who dominated the past,

the man obsessed with power,
strength, and success,

that man has no place in our future.

It's crucial that we model behaviors

that have traditionally
been considered feminine.

Because those are part of us too.

We're not there yet,
but we're on the journey.

The journey from unfeeling,
insensitive man… to a new kind of man.

That's where we're headed.

Good luck, gentlemen.

Check it out! The two of us are now…
officially enlightened, deconstructed men.

Boom.

Dude, you're back with your ex.
You should ask for a refund.

But there's one for you. Here you go, man.

[Greg] Hey!

Great, that's nice, I'll put it up
next to my scuba certificate on the wall.

Give it a rest. That stupid course
was just a totally backward view of men.

The course was? Or we are?

-[scoffs]
-[Ivo] Come on.

Oh. Here.

You must be Mike Mulder.

Yes, ma'am. And you are?

[hocks]

-[Ivo] Oh!
-f*cking as*h*le.

Whoa. What the f*ck?

[Greg] Whoa, calm down. [laughs]

Ah, sh**t. Son of a b*tch.

[all laughing]

I hate to say it,
but you might have had this coming.

-[Danny] Come on.
-[Ivo] Sorry. I'm just being honest.

♪ The boys watch the girls
While the girls watch the boys ♪

♪ Who watch the girls go by ♪

-Ah.
-♪ Eye to eye… ♪

Really? Nothing?

-Not even a whistle?
-Eh.

Well, looks like that course
wasn't a complete waste, after all.

-Hey.
-Huh?

Okay, guys, let's do this!

Yes, come on, boys.

-[Mike] Bring it.
-[Greg] I'll eat you alive!

♪ Guys talk ♪

♪ Girl talk ♪

♪ It happens everywhere ♪

♪ Eyes watch ♪

♪ Girls walk ♪

♪ With tender lovin' care ♪

♪ It's keepin' track of the pack ♪

♪ Watching them watching back ♪

♪ That makes the world go round ♪

♪ What's that sound? ♪

♪ Each time you hear
A loud collective sigh ♪

♪ They're making music to watch girls by ♪

♪ La, la, la ♪

♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪

♪ Watch the girls go by ♪

♪ Watch the girls go by ♪

♪ Watch the girls go by ♪