01x08 - I Don't Want to Be Anyone but Myself

[bunniefuu]

I decided that it was my

ambition to be a teacher.

That very day, Matthew fell

down clutching at his heart.

Though, to my great relief,

no lasting harm came of it.

And how has Matthew been since?

He had a bad spell, but he's

all right again now.

I'm glad to hear it.

The doctor says he must be

careful to avoid excitement.

That's easy enough, for Matthew doesn't go

about looking for excitement by any means.

That he doesn't.

But he's not to do any

very heavy work either

and you might as well tell Matthew

not to breathe as not to work.

And so you hired the boy?

Yes. His name's Jerry Buote.

We hired him to help with the heavy work.

That does sound helpful.

Marilla, where is today's paper?!

It's right there.

What has you in such a hurry?

The pass list for Queen's is out.

M-My name isn't on it!

And Gilbert came first?

No

I I don't believe it!

No!

That's enough, class.

It sounds as though one of

us is too hungry to go on.

Why don't we break for lunch?

Chapter 8

I Don't Want to Be

Anyone but Myself

Whatever did you doze off in class for?

It hardly sounds like you.

I had a dream that

I flunked the Entrance.

Oh, dear.

I can see you're wearing yourself out.

Miss Stacy.

The exams are not till next

summer, a long time off yet.

Your head will burst if you cram it

too full, and I wouldn't want that!

Remember, learning should be fun.

Yes, Miss Stacy.

It was a jolly, busy, happy

swift-flying winter.

Then came spring, and with

it my fifteenth year.

Here.

Th-Thank you.

Jerry's a great help.

He does whatever's needed.

Marilla, what's come over you?

I was thinking about Anne.

She's got to be such a big girl.

She has, hasn't she?

And she'll probably be

away from us next winter.

She'll be able to come home often.

The branch railroad will be

built to Carmody by that time.

I suppose so.

You don't chatter half

as much as you used to,

Anne, nor use half as many big words.

What has come over you?

I don't know—I don't

want to talk as much.

It's almost a pity, isn't it,

now that I'm really growing big enough

to say big words if I did want to.

It's fun to be almost

grown up in some ways,

but there's so much to learn and do and

think that there isn't time for big words.

Do you think you'll be able

to get through the Entrance?

I'm enjoying my studies.

But it haunts me.

Sometimes I wake up in the night and

wonder what I'll do if I don't pass.

If I don't get through, I will never recover

sufficiently to enjoy another spring.

Why, go to school next year and try again.

Oh, I don't believe

I'd have the heart for it.

It would be such a disgrace to

fail, especially if Gil—

if the others passed.

Weren't Miss Stacy's

farewell words wonderful?

There wasn't a dry eye in the school.

It does seem as if it was the end

of everything, doesn't it?

You oughtn't to feel

half as badly as I do.

You'll be back again next winter,

but I suppose I've left the

dear old school forever—

if I have good luck, that is.

It won't be a bit the same.

Miss Stacy won't be there,

nor you nor Jane nor Ruby probably.

Please Diana, don't cry.

You'll start me off again.

The Entrance is just next week now, isn't it?

Yes.

Miss Stacy said that when

we arrive in town,

we are to go out walking and not think about

the exams at all and go to bed early.

It's good advice, but I expect

it will be hard to follow.

I do wish I were going in with you.

You can't cram every night,

and you're sure to be homesick.

I'll write to you.

Oh yes, do!

I'll write Tuesday night and

tell you how the first day goes.

I'll be haunting the post

office Wednesday morning.

The post won't come as fast as that, Diana.

I guess it won't.

Whoa, there.

Pardon me! Do you have a letter

for me, by any chance?

Let me see.

Diana Diana Barry.

Here you are, miss.

Oh, thank you!

Dearest Diana,

here it is Tuesday night, and

I'm writing this in my boarding house room.

When we reached the Academy,

there were scores of students

there from all over the Island.

Jane and I sat together and Jane was

so composed that I envied her.

I wondered if I looked as I felt

and if they could hear my heart

thumping clear across the room.

My hands grew cold then and my

head fairly whirled around

as I picked the English

examination sheet.

Just one awful moment and then

everything cleared up in my mind,

for I knew I could do something

with that paper anyhow.

At noon, we went home for dinner and then

back again for history in the afternoon.

The history was a pretty hard paper.

Still, I think I did fairly well today.

How was it?

Passable, I guess.

Ruby was in hysterics when

I reached their boardinghouse;

she had just discovered a fearful mistake

she had made in her English paper.

When she recovered, we went

uptown and had an ice cream.

How we wished you had been with us.

Oh, Diana, if only the geometry

examination were over!

But there, the sun will go on rising and

setting whether I fail in geometry or not.

I think I'd rather it

didn't go on if I failed!

Yours devotedly, Anne.

You'd think they hadn't seen

each other in decades.

Anne!

Diana!

Anne!

You old darling!

It's perfectly splendid

to see you back again.

It seems like an age

since you went to town.

To me, too, Diana.

Oh, Anne! How did you get along?

Pretty well, I think, in

everything but the geometry.

How did the others do?

The girls say they know they didn't pass,

but I think they did pretty well.

But we don't really know anything about

it and won't until the pass list is out.

I can hardly wait.

Fancy living a fortnight in such suspense!

I wish I could go to sleep and

never wake up until it is over.

Oh, you'll pass all right. Don't worry.

I certainly hope so!

Oh, how good it is to be back!

Green Gables is the dearest,

loveliest spot in the world.

Well?

It's not here. It was supposed

to be out in a fortnight.

Say, who do you think

will pass the Entrance?

Anne and Gilbert are the

best Avonlea's got.

Want to bet on which of

them comes out on top?

You're on!

I'll take that bet, too.

Anyone can see that

Gilbert will place higher.

You've got that right.

I'm for Gilbert, too.

We can't all bet on Gilbert.

I'd rather not pass at all than not

come out pretty well up on the list!

Anne, wait!

I don't think the list is out yet. Anne! Wait!

Oh, it isn't?

Anne, wait!

Won't you eat something, Anne?

My appetite has failed after

three weeks with no news.

I don't care how high I pass now,

just so long as I do.

What if the others pass and I fail?

You'll beat the whole island.

Really, Matthew, that's

too much to hope for.

I know you will.

Diana!

Father brought the paper home from

Bright River not ten minutes ago!

It won't be here till tomorrow by mail!

Anne, you've passed!

Passed the very first!

You and Gilbert both—you're ties!

But your name is first.

Oh, I'm so proud!

You've all passed, every one of you.

Oh, good

You must tell Miss and Mr. Cuthbert.

Well done, Anne!

What an achievement!

You're a credit to your friends, Anne,

that's what, and we're all proud of you.

Thank you, Mrs. Lynde.

You've done pretty

well, I must say, Anne.

Yes, but I never dreamed I'd come fir—

Oh, Matthew!

I've passed, and I'm first!

Well now, I always said it!

Yes, and you were right!

A concert?

An invitation from the White Sands Hotel!

They want me to recite!

Oh, I never dreamed I would

get to perform at a concert!

They're bound to encore you.

I don't call it proper, a lot of

young folks gadding over to the hotel

without any responsible person with them.

But I can go, can't I, Marilla?!

Oh, very well.

Hold still, Anne!

Don't pull out a single

curl over your forehead.

I'm going to braid your hair in two

thick braids and tie them halfway up.

Shall I put my pearl beads on?

Matthew brought me a string from town.

Yes, but put on your

organdy, by all means!

If you say so.

Oh, Diana, I love this

little room so dearly.

I don't know how I'll get along without

it when I go to town next month.

Don't speak of your going away tonight.

I don't want to think of it,

it makes me so miserable, and I do want

to have a good time this evening.

And what happened then?

Do you really want to know?

Well, if you can credit it

Oh, dear. I don't know if I belong.

I smell country bumpkins.

Some rustic belle is going to recite

a poem. It should be such fun.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen,

to the White Sands Hotel concert.

Wh-Whatever shall I do? I don't feel ready.

I wish I were in the audience with them.

Oh, if I were only back at Green Gables!

Oh, look! There's Mrs. Evans!

The professional elocutionist, you know.

The flower that smiles to-day

To-morrow dies;

All that we wish to stay

Tempts and then flies.

What is this world's delight?

Lightning that mocks the night,

Brief even as bright.

Virtue, how frail it is!

Friendship how rare!

I can never get up and recite after her!

Love, how it sells poor bliss

For proud despair!

But we, though soon they fall,

I want to go home to Green

Gables this instant!

Survive their joy, and all

Which ours we call.

Whilst skies are blue and bright,

Whilst flowers are g*y,

Whilst eyes that change ere night

Make glad the day;

Whilst yet the calm hours creep,

Dream thou—and from thy sleep

Then wake to weep.

Next, Anne Shirley will

recite "The Maiden's Vow."

What can I do after that

magnificent recitation?

Perhaps I should flee, even if it

means an eternity of humiliation.

Josie Pye! Gilbert!

No! I will not run away!

Just you watch!

I've made a vow, I'll keep it true,

I'll never married be;

For the only ane that I think on

Will never think o' me.

Now gane to a far distant shore,

Their face nae mair I'll see;

But often will I think o' them,

That winna think o' me.

Gae owre, gae owre noo, gude Sir John,

Oh, dinna follow me;

For the only ane I ere thocht on,

Lies buried in the sea.

If you don't mind my asking

My dear, you did splendidly!

There, they're encoring you—

they're bound to have you back!

Oh, I can't go.

What? Turn down this honor?

But yet

They're bound to encore you.

I must, or Matthew will be disappointed.

Then don't disappoint Matthew.

I won't!

Be kind and tender to the Frog,

And do not call him names.

'Ribbity-eek'! 'Ahh-keep away'!

'Slimy-bumpy skin'! 'Croakity-blargh'!

The Frog is justly sensitive

To epithets like these.

No animal will more repay

A treatment kind and fair

You really were wonderful.

I've been crying like a

baby, actually I have.

Thank you very much.

Please, accept this for the

gift of such lovely poems.

O-Oh, I couldn't possibly!

Anne Shirley?

Mrs. Evans.

I could hear how deeply you

appreciate those poems,

and you have a charming voice.

Th-Thank you very much!

Hasn't it been a perfectly splendid time?

Anne, your recitation was simply great.

I think it was better than Mrs. Evans's.

Oh, no, don't say things like that, Jane.

It couldn't be better than Mrs. Evans's,

you know, for she is a professional,

and I'm only a schoolgirl,

with a little knack of reciting.

I'm quite satisfied if the people

just liked mine pretty well.

I've a compliment for you, Anne.

There was an American sitting behind Jane

and me. Well, we heard him say

Who is that girl on the platform

with the splendid Titian hair?

Josie Pye says he is a

distinguished artist.

But what does Titian hair mean?

We should have asked.

Being interpreted it means

plain red, I guess.

He did an awful lot of

sketches over supper,

so I got one for you.

I'm not nearly so pretty.

Oh, but you are.

It looks just like you.

Did you see all the diamonds

those ladies wore?

Wouldn't you just love to be rich, girls?

We are rich.

Are we? How?

Why, we have fifteen years to our

credit, and we're happy as queens,

and we've all got

imaginations, more or less.

Look at that sea, girls.

all silver and shadow and

vision of things not seen.

I don't want to be anyone but myself,

even if I go uncomforted

by diamonds all my life.

I'm content to be Anne of Green Gables,

with my string of pearl beads.

And quite content to be

red-haired Anne Shirley,

with a bosom friend who has a charming

smile and dresses me to perfection.

Next Time

Next to Trying and Winning,

the Best Thing Is Trying and Failing.