04x11 - By the Time We Got to Woodstock...

[bunniefuu]

A little pause for a while.

Uh, Tranquility Base here.

The Eagle has landed.

Hot dog.

We're on the moon.

Honey, bring the kids!

Come on, look at this.

History in the making.

That's one small step for man.

One giant leap for mankind.

One giant leap for mankind.

Well, what did you think he was gonna say?

Nice going.

You almost gave us away.

Unless you'd like to be perched on my
squeegee, back off.

What crawled up your elementary canal and
left marks?

Well, I'll tell you, buddy.

We're stuck in 1969, and we have no idea
where lease is.

Well, don't take it out on me.

Why the hell not?

It's your fault.

How?

It's not like I said, Gee, I'd sure like
to travel back in time to 1969.

Gee, I'd sure like to travel back in time
to 1969.

Have fun.

D5.

Damn!

Miss, check this out.

The summer of 69 was a time when young
people rose up against racism,

w*r, and injustice.

B6?

Damn!

It was also a time of sexual
experimentation and free love.

Let me see that.

Naked people?

Dancing in the mud?

I'm there!

So, where's this time hole you zapped up
for us?

A rift in the space-time continuum isn't
something you just leave lying around.

I had to devise a fiendishly clever,
undetectable hiding place for it.

It's with the Playboys, isn't it?

You must be as tall as this sign to enter
the time hole.

Time to tune in, turn on, and zap out.

Hi, Rush.

So, how did we get here without our Lisa?

You know Lisa.

She'll show up.

She probably lost track of the time or
something.

It's been six freaking months.

Face it, she's not coming back.

She's either abandoning us or she's
trapped in some other dimension.

This is Dan James.

She's on TV.

Let's find out what today's young people
think about the moon landing.

Your name, miss?

Well, I can't really remember it.

As a matter of fact, I can't remember
anything before a couple of months ago.

That's why I'm going to Woodstock.

To, you know, really find myself.

Woodstock?

What's that?

It's this big, groovy festival with lots
of music and love and positive energy.

She lost her memory.

Only way to fix that is a sharp blow to
the head.

You really got to lay off the nick at
night.

Afraid we see here the bitter fruit of an
all-too-permissive society.

Idle youth wasting their lives to the
boom-boom-boom jungle men of the night.

Make love, not w*r.

Jerk.

She hasn't forgotten how to zap.

So what?

She doesn't know who she is.

We're still stuck in the land of love,
beads, and body odor.

But at least we know where she's going to
be.

Woodstock, she said so.

You know what that means.

Road trip!

Okay, Woodstock started on August 12th.

That means we've got three weeks to get
from California to New York.

In that case, we're going to need some
wheels.

Are you suggesting stealing?

What's stealing?

When we find Lisa, she
can zap them back to the

r*fle owners with a tune-up
and a full tank of gas.

Can I have the flag bike?

Oh, out of gas.

Hey, where's the bikes, man?

Hey!

You okay?

Come on, get up!

Oh, man, look at my fridge.

I can't keep anything nice.

Luckily, Lynette here was passing by and
helping me pull your face out of the spokes.

All right.

Gary, thanks for the assist.

No problem.

You know, my friends are always getting
themselves hurt.

Trying to fly, that sort of thing.

So, you guys headed anywhere in
particular?

Or are you just, you know, headed?

Me, I was going to Woodstock.

Really?

Yeah.

Us too.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Hey, here comes the Freakmobile.

Thumbs out, guys.

Hey!

No!

No!

Haircut!

Stupid hair!

All right, who called me a hippie?

Chet?

Buckerbutt?

Pitlake?

What the hell are you doing in 1969?

Gotcha.

Miss December, if I ain't got something to
show you.

How I got here isn't really important.

Aren't you the least bit
curious what you're doing

driving a bus two years
before you were born?

I think it's pretty obvious.

Higher powers have transported me through
the murky folds of time so I can

single-handedly rescue America from its
spiral of decadence as future men,

profit from another time.

What a coincidence.

Us too.

Wow.

Really?

Oh, that's great.

I have to admit, I was a little nervous
with all the responsibility.

But the three of us together, we are the
team, man!

Ha!

Yeah, all right, man.

This is so cool.

Hop aboard!

We got a long drive ahead.

Hey, he's cute.

Tommy Smothers, cute.

He's nuts.

Crispin Glover nuts.

Where the hell does he think he's going?

Who cares?

He's pointing in the right direction and
it beats walking.

So, on the old bus here in a poker game.

You see, hippies are really crappy card
players.

Whenever they get a good hand, it's
the old stoner laugh through the nose.

Pathetic.

But after we reach the Pentagon,
we're playing hippies.

They're going to be a thing of the past.

Pentagon?

Damn betcha!

We're going to fix America and keep her
strong.

Wrap up this whole Vietnam thing.

And then plan ahead a little.

Get Elvis on a diet.

Maybe sneak Reagan in a few years early.

You know, really clean house.

We don't have time for a class trip to the
Pentagon.

Say something.

Relax.

Washington's not out of our way.

As soon as we hit the east coast,
we'll ditch him.

Meanwhile, let's kick back and enjoy
seeing the real American.

Get your motor
running for adventure.

And whatever comes our way.

Yeah, darling, go make it happen.

Witnesses claim Mount
Rushmore crackled with blue

electricity, bringing the
presidential likenesses to life.

It's reported that they then sang a medley
of three dog night hits.

Lisa?

Gotta be.

At least she's traveling in the right
direction.

Come on.

You gotta eat something.

I don't wanna.

Chet, lighten up.

They fixed the bus for us.

It was only right for Lynette to fix some
dinner.

They're a bunch of tie-dying
Jefferson Airplane-cranking

McGovern-voting
draft-dodging slackers.

And I don't have to eat with them if I
don't want to.

What is this?

Goop.

Anyway.

Beats me.

Some all-natural woodsy stuff Lynette's
scrounged up.

Roots, tubers, lichen.

You know what guano is?

No.

Me neither.

Spicy, though.

We will overcome.

We will overcome.

We will overcome.

We will overcome.

We will overcome someday.

Deep in my heart, I do believe.

We will overcome someday.

We will overcome someday.

We will overcome someday.

Amen.

Welcome home.

All right.

Cool.

What?

I got bored over there.

This stuff's nasty.

But mmm, it grows on you.

I don't feel so good.

I think it's the goop.

My old body feels like it's on digital
delay.

What's happening?

The music is the nuns.

Hiya, Wyatt.

If anybody's wondering who's in control
right now, it isn't me.

Gary, I wanted to thank you for scraping
the gum out from under my seat.

No problem, Mr. Talking Bus.

Oh, by the way, Lisa says
to tell you she misses you,

and not to give up looking
for her, cause she loves you.

Really?

Nope, just telling you what you want to
hear.

We micro buses are notorious suck ups.

Dumb asses.

No way!

Why are you always so mean to your
brother, man?

It's like really bad karma.

Yeah, well, when the meek inherit,
he can get me back.

There's a lot of rage in you.

There's also this real gentle heart.

Huh?

Yeah, you're just this scared little boy
hiding behind the facade of future man.

Billy here was telling me.

Hey, my ears are burning.

See, Billy here learned to read auras at
Oxford.

Oh, yeah.

I'm real good at this.

Now, hold still.

Within you is like this incredible
untapped well of tenderness.

Either that or a pathological attraction
to all that is evil and black in our world.

Pathological, huh?

Cool.

Cigar?

Thanks.

Never smoked one.

Oh, they're fine.

Don't inhale.

Don't inhale.

I'll have to remember that.

You know, you guys are okay.

Where I come from, I don't have many
friends.

I mean, I do.

But, you know, they're usually,
you know, drunk.

So, Chester, we're headed to Washington
tomorrow.

Nixon's escalating again and there's a big
protest going down.

Protesting Vietnam?

Well, that's like attacking your
government.

Yeah, but what if your government's wrong,
man?

My country right or wrong?

Well, I believe every American should
question authority now and then.

Helps keep the government honest and of
the people.

Of course, I'm not married to that idea,
but it's a good line for picking up chicks.

Come on, future man.

I really dig pre-thinkers.

Come with us, man.

Be cool.

Oh, yeah.

Don't be scared.

Nice try.

All of you.

You almost had me.

But you flower choppers.

Underestimated Private Chester P. Donnelly
USMC.

I've got a date at the Pentagon.

My head feels like a dryer with a pair of
tennis shoes in it.

Whoa.

Whoa.

I seem to be tied up.

Chet?

Where are we going?

Chet?

Chet?

Come on, Chet.

Untie us.

You can't go to the Pentagon.

We've got to get to Woodstock.

Nuh-uh.

Nobody's fast-talking me this time.

I can't believe I almost fell for that
anti-establishment garbage.

It's amazing what a
campfire, a pretty face, a

nice pair of perky Freddy's
can do to a guy's head.

Hm.

I can't believe nobody stopped us.

This is the Pentagon.

You walk around a place pointing at stuff,
acting like you know where you're going,

usually you get pretty far.

Now, wait here.

This is bad.

What do we do?

We help them.

Excuse me.

We're looking for someone from the Joint
Chiefs of Staff Office, please.

Nature of business?

We're future men!

We're here with mystical predictions of a
time that is yet to be.

Yet to be.

How did you get in here without a badge?

Okay, look.

We are... from the future.

And I can prove it.

Look at the years on my pennies.





Throw them out.

True predictions!

The Beatles are gonna break up.

Star Trek's gonna run forever.

And the U.S.

Army is secretly bombing Cambodia.

This is reception.

We have some hippie haes down here who
know about Ambodia, okay?

Well, that got their attention,
future man.

Bite me.

This will all be straightened out as soon
as I can talk to somebody with some clout.

My U.S.A.

will never let me down.

How ironically patriotic.

Hippie.

I'm no hippie, sir.

Private Chester Palomino Donnelly.

USMC.

Born 1971.

Obvious fabrications.

But go ahead, future man.

Tell me more.

Uh, okay.

The Democrats.

They're gonna hang Nixon on this
trumped-up Watergate break-in.

Break-in.

Yeah, yeah.

So, the President would
be much better off if he

just dismantled the whole
Oval Office taping system.

So, of course, everybody
in my time knows about

the exploding cigars the
CIA sent to Castro and J.

Edgar Hoover's little secret.

But don't get me wrong.

I mean, I think it takes a real man to
wear a size 40 strapless ball gown.

Enough!

Listen, hippie.

I don't know who the hell you are or how
you know all this classified information.

But I do know a threat to national
security when I see one.

Let me out.

Sir?

Have a cell prepared.

They're to be taken to Z-level,
solitary, permanent assignment.

Sir!

With all due respect,
I'm a patriotic American

who only wants to
serve his country, sir!

Commendable.

From now on, you'll be serving her from a

The day you get out of here is the day
Sonny Bono takes a seat in Congress.

Sir, I must protest!

I am depending on the Court-The Corps
doesn't care.

Here they come, the tickets to... level Z.

Shut up!

You okay?

Lynette!

Billy!

How did you guys get down here?

Well, I've always found if you walk around
a place pointing at stuff and acting like

you know where you're going, you can
usually get pretty far.

Get us out of this hellhole!

I will.

I feel your pain.

You know where they keep the keys.

Allow me.

Emergency lockpick.

I knew it would come in handy one day.

Everybody, I just want you to know I
learned a valuable lesson today.

About friendship,
loyalty, and the dangers

of bowing down blindly
to authority figures.

And Wyatt, if you don't wipe that smug I
told you so, look off your face.

I'm gonna snap your freaking jawbone.

Let's get the hell out of here.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on,
hold on, hold on, not so fast.

The Pentagon is the largest office
building in the world.

Luckily, I have the blueprints committed
to memory.

Uh, Chet.

First, we'll blow a hole through this
floor and drop down into sub-basement S43.

Then, we'll shimmy up the elevator shaft
to the north wing mess.

From there, we're gonna have to fight our
way across the-Chet!

Oh, yeah, or we could just, uh,
go out this way if you want.

Gonna miss her, huh?

Yeah.

When I get back to the 90s, I swear I'm
not gonna rest until I find her again.

So what if we're from two different eras?

Our love is eternal.

And there is no stronger power in the
universe.

You do realize that when you find her,
she's gonna be, like, really old?

Come to think of it, her nose is a little
big.

Lisa!

It's us!

Oh, wow!

I can't believe it!

You guys are really here!

Who are you?

Come on, Lisa.

Hey, let go!

Jimmy's about to burn the guitar,
that's the best part!

You're really bumming me out, man!

Hey, where are we going?

To jog your memory.

Oh, hi, Gary!

Hi, wife!

What's up?

We're in science!

We're in science!

Fantasy and microchips
sh**ting from the hip

Something different will
make it We're in science!

Oh, pictures from a
magazine It's in pieces, it's in

pieces, it's in pieces, it's
in pieces It's my creation!

Is it real?

It's my creation!

From my heart and from my head Why don't
people understand my intentions?

Why don't people understand my intentions?

Peace!

MDR 4 Pixi