06x18 - Ice to Beat You

[bunniefuu]

[Chris]: Last time
on Total Drama Island,

teams were tested on their
knowledge of each other

with "would you rather"
questions

and failed miserably.

Emma showed some mad skills
at getting answers wrong,

until she couldn't even
do that right!!

And in the end,
she got sent home.

Who would I rather
send home today?

I don't play favourites,
I dislike them all equally.

Buckle up, it's time for more
Total... Drama... island!

♪ Hey what's up
I'm here to slay ♪

♪ Don't know why the rest
even bother to stay ♪

♪ I know the game
And I brought the skill ♪

♪ Crushing players' dreams
Yeah you know the drill ♪

♪ I wanna be
I wanna be ♪

♪ I wanna be famous ♪♪

[panting]

[giggling]

- I'm glad you decided
to join me.

- Of course! I mean, you know,

it's nice to have someone
to train with.

Last one to the dock isn't
an honours student!

- Oh, it's gonna be
like that, huh? Okay!

[laughing]

You're not bad.

- That's a funny thing to say

to the person
who just beat you.

- What? That was a tie
and you know it...

[smooching]

- Ah-hem!

Have you two been kissing
all night?

- It's morning already?

- Time flies when
you're lip wrestling

for the championship belt.

- We should, um...
- Head back?

- Yeah. Yep.
[smooching]

Caleb and I would make
a great couple.

And I think he might
be thinking that too.

- Priya and I will make
an unstoppable alliance.

And I know she's thinking
the same thing.

- Did you know most people

swallow over a litre of spit
a day?

- Dude. Where do they find it?

- Oh, no. Most of it's your own.

- Oh... That makes
way more sense.

- You two head in.
I'll catch up.

- Okay, eh.
- I'll save you a seat.

- Julia, I need you to know

I am done cheating
in the challenges.

- Fine.
- Oh. Good.

I'm glad you understan--

- Unless, of course,
I need you to cheat.

Then, you'll have to.
Good talk.

- Oh, hi, Caleb, what's up?

[imitating Caleb]: Priya, would
it be okay if I kissed you?

[smooching]

- Quick question...
[gasping]

k*ller pillow?

I'll save you, Priya!

Come on, we gotta move before
the other pillows turn evil!

- Zee! Zee! It's okay!
Stop! I was...

I was kissing it!

- What?

I just k*lled Priya's
pillow boyfriend.

- I was pretending
it was Caleb.

I kind of... like him.

- Whoa. Nice.

- Can you keep this between us?

I haven't said anything
to him yet.

- Totally!

It'll be our little... Zee-cret.

Snuck my name in there.

- Yeah, I caught that.

I just hope Caleb feels
the same way about me.

- You kidding?
Of course he will.

He's gonna freak
when I tell him.

- Zee!

- Oh right, right, right.

Heh... secret.

All I can think about now
is yelling out her secret.

But as long as I can keep
my mouth busy with soda...

- We are not done
talking about this.

- I get it. You don't want Raj
to know you're cheating.

So... don't make me tell him.

- I'm suggesting--
- Hey!

- Aw, man. These one-person
doors are the worst!

[grunting]

- I need a pen and paper, stat!

- Sweet 'stache!

- Bowie, why don't you take
the hockey boys for a walk.

- Are you...
[grunting]

Hey, why don't we go see
what the other team is up to.

- Oh-h*! A mission.

- Nice!

- I got a marker, but no paper!

- Here! Use me!

Doodle away, my friend.

[disgusted grunt]

- I am not enjoying this.

[giggling]
The challenge involves
some kind of maze.

We have to collect keys embedded
in ice to unlock a coin.

[laughing]

- Sorry. Ticklish.

- With this map, we can avoid
the dead-ends

and get straight to the keys!

- And I might know something

to help melt the keys
out of the ice faster.

- Brilliant!

We'll win this challenge
for sure!

- What challenge?

The one that we're gonna
trounce you in today?

- Heh. You wish.

- Speaking of wishes, I bet
you wish you hadn't tanked

so badly last season
that you destroyed

your own Hollywood career.

- You're wrong.
I don't miss that life at all.

- Really? Not the money?
The red carpets?

The swag? The photo shoots?
The autographs?

- Not... for a second.

- Yeah, well,
I know I'd miss it.

Oh. Maybe I should go
audition for a movie.

- Hollywood wants movie stars,
you're more, uh...

small-town dinner theatre.

- Oh, snap!
[laughing]

[grunting]

- She's gonna pay for that.

[Chris]: Campers to the dock
of shame.

It's challenge time!

Welcome, campers.

For today's challenge,

I've imported the last iceberg
from the North Pole.

- Yep. You're a bad person.

- Each team will travel through
the iceberg

collecting three keys to unlock
their safe made of ice

and retrieve their beautiful,
beautiful, Chris Coin.

- You'll then take
a 6-person bobsled

down a track back to your dinghy
and return here.

First Team to hand Chris
their Coin wins immunity.

- The other team
sends someone home.

Questions?

That aren't about my hat?

[sighing]
Let's just say my hair

isn't it's normal level
of awesomeness today.

[chuckling]
- I wonder why.

- Listen up!
You can get to the Coin Room

using tunnel 1 OR tunnel 2.

Number 1 is a maze,
where the keys you'll need

are embedded in the icy walls
and must be melted out.

- How exactly would we do that?

- Level 2 is an obstacle course.

The keys are not hidden
or embedded in ice,

but it's definitely
a much more painful route.

Choose wisely.

- On your mark...

get hurt...

go!

[horn blaring]

Didn't you tell me once you
owned a hair salon in the 80s?

- Yep.
- What can you do with this?

- Oh!

- We should do
the obstacle course.

We've lost two in a row.

It's go big or go home time.

- But Chef said
the obstacle course

was the more painful route.

- He said much more painful.

- How's that better?
- Priya's right.

- Let's do this!

[together]: Go, team rats!

- We should do
the obstacle course.

- You know it, Rajie!

- We're doing the maze.
- Why?

- Cause we got a plan, baby!

- What plan?

- Why are you listening
to Ripper?

[nervously laughing]
He never makes any sense.

Come on.

I feel bad lying to Raj

but MK is giving us
a real advantage here.

What am I supposed to do?

- Whoa, bro!
Check out this ice!

- Aw. So smooth.

So pure.

- You know what? I feel so bad

about making you cheat
in the sap challenge

that I brought you these!

- What?
- No way!

- You're the best!
- Thanks, MK!

- I regret this decision.

- We needed those two
distracted,

and once MK knew it was
an ice challenge,

it just made sense.

- The TDI Equipment Locker
is surprisingly stocked

for a show with such
butt production values.

- Ready... go!

- Have fun.
No body checking!

I want it on the record that
I do not feel good about this.

Now... tell me
how we're cheating!

- Like this!

Ah! That's right!

Not all heroes wear capes.

- Or deodorant.

- This is great!

But I made a promise.

- Let them skate around
a while.

We'll call them once
we're ready to grab the coin.

- Come on! The first key
is this way!

- There's the key!

- That's great but how
are we gonna get

across this gorge to get it?

- There's a card.

You're smart.
Read it.

- "Santa's Boot."
That's all it says.

- That's an odd thing
to put on a card.

- Look at all the hand-holds.
This'll be so easy, it's dumb.

- Those aren't hand holds!

[gasping]

[screaming]

[tense music]

- Keeping an eye
on the teams with this.

Oh! Looks like someone
just got booted!

[ding!]

- That was a very popular style.
- Was.

Was!

- Fine. We'll try
something else.

[tense music]

[screaming]

[sighing]
- Ow!

Ah!

- Now, what?

Do we lick the key out?

- I'll fart it out.
- Hold your fire!

Surprise!

- Where did you get that?

- She snagged it
from Chris' trailer.

- Guess that explains Chris'
hot new look, today.

- Okay. It looks like
there's room

between the top of the wall
and the ceiling.

I've got a plan.

[suspenseful music]

You got it?
[grunting]

- I'm up!

[uplifting music]

[together]: Oh!

- Nice. Grabbing the key
stopped the boots.

- Let's pull our team
out of the gorge.

We gotta move!

- If I'd done that in a movie,

that would've taken
a three-person stunt team

and two days of sh**ting.

Your move, Hollywood!

- Well, that was... easy.

- And you love it!

[sighing]
- And it's hardly cheating.

I mean, it's not like
we're using the hairdryer

to just melt our way through
the whole maze.

- Bowie!
That's a brilliant idea!

- What did I just do?
[whimpering]

I really don't wanna lie to Raj,

but giving up cheating
is harder than I thought!

- Huh. Skunk Butt's
halfway through the maze.

They are flying!
[ding!]

- I call this,
Poseidon's Lingerie!

- I explicitly said no perms.

- "Seal Your Fate"?

[tense music]

- Fate.
[chuckling]

Like two people meeting
on a reality show and--

- Zee.
[coughing]

Focus on the challenge.

- You got it.

Not telling Caleb is gonna be
harder than I thought.

- Those towers
are hunting blinds.

As soon as we make
a break for it,

we're getting shot
with something.

- Like frozen cabbages?
That'll k*ll us!

- Nah. It'll be snowballs
or something.

Chris is big on themes.

- There's some cover out there
but not much, so let's split up.

Zee and Damien.
Axel and Nichelle.

And I'll go with...
Caleb, I guess.

[chuckling]

- I can't spill the beans

if I've got a mouthful
of Luscious Lychee.

[burping]

- Don't forget to keep
an eye out for the key.

Let's move.

- Wait, I think it would be
better if we stick together.

- Look out!

- Aw, it's so cute.

[screeching]

[screaming]

- The cannon fires seals?

- Vicious!
Vicious baby seals!

- I'll draw their fire.
Then, you guys run!

[screaming]

[laughing]!
- Seal cannons.

You can buy anything online!
[ding!]

Really?

[tense music]

- Now!

[screaming]

[munching]

[cannon firing]

- Get down!

- Look out!

Gotcha!

- The key!

[uplifting music]

Woo-hoo!
Game. Over.

- Bingo!

- Nice job, MK.

- This ladder must lead
to the coin room.

- Raj, Wayne.

Skate time is over.

- Whoa! A straight line?

I always thought mazes
were harder.

- There's the safe.
And a yeti?

- I guess Chris forgot
to mention that.

[gasping]
- So cool, bro!

- This has been just
the best day!

[stuttering]: Best day.

- Dude. Bummer birthmark.

- Is that a map?

[gasping]
Is it here?

Ah, again!

That's how MK knew
to bring skates!

- Oopsie.

- I think this is wrong!

Quick, tell me what's happening.

- Our team is cheating again.

[gasping]
- Very, very wrong!

- We're winning this challenge,

so how about you two
don't think

and stay out of the way?

- "Snow Cone Catwalk."

- Oh. This is gonna be tough!

- Hey, thanks for catching
that baby seal!

- Wasn't gonna let him
bite your face.

Nuh-uh.
That'd be a crime.

- Oh, you two are uh, um...
[nervously chuckling]

I'm proud of myself for having
not told Priya's secret

or peeing my pants.

I drank a lot of Lychee today.

- Who's got a plan?

- I gotta pee!

- Zee. The world
is your snowbank.

Go. Everyone else, huddle up.

- These snow cones
are solid ice.

- So, you want height
on your jumps

so you can stick
your landings.

- Otherwise, you slide
right off.

- Makes sense.
I think we're ready.

[sighing in relief]
- Zee! What'd you do?

- That jump is not
going to be easy.

- Well, if we don't get
to that second snow cone,

we don't get the last key!

- Didn't you realize
what you were doing?

- I was thinking
about something else!

Something more important!
- What?

- Don't even try it.

Your bladder is done
for the day.

- Julia! MK!
You've left us no choice.

We're telling Chris you cheated.

- Ugh. Okay.

But you'll have to tell
on your boyfriend, too!

- Wait a second!

I didn't know about this
until we got to the iceberg.

- Now, now. Let's not forget
about the bridge challenge.

- Bowie... no.

- Got it!

- Mmm.
[together]: You thinking
what I'm thinking?

- If their coin's not here....

- ...they can't win.

- No! That's like,
super cheating!

- How can you be okay with this?

- Yeah!

Ah!
[thudding]

[grunting]

- Woo!
[thudding]

[moaning]

- Caleb. Throw me.

- Throw you?
What does that even mean?

Cuz it can't mean throw you!

- It does sound dangerous.

- Look at our situation.

It might be our only hope.

If Nichelle is cool with it...
I say do it.

- Okay.

[suspenseful music]

Woah!

[thudding]

- I did it!
I got the key!

[cheering]

- Whoa! Ah!
[thudding]

Oh, no!
Aw, this rots!

We have all the keys,
but we're stuck in here?

- Nope. No way.

[grunting]

- Well, don't just stand there.

Do what Priya's doing,
we got a challenge to win!

[grunting]

[cheering]

- I am telling you for the 43rd
time to stop melting that safe.

DO NOT make me tell you a 44th!

- Believe me, I am trying.

I don't wanna be a cheater,
and I never want to lie to you.

About anything.

- Well, I have to say something
to Chris because...

I can't do this.

- I have an idea.

- Hey!

Are you kidding me?

[tense music]

Game on!

[gasping]

[cracking]
- Ah!

What was that?

- I don't know.

[intriguing music]

[screaming]

[thudding]

- Ugh. Bowie is gonna pay
for that mutiny.

- Whoa! Why is there
a huge hole in the floor?

- Is that our coin?

Why is our safe half melted?

- Something happened in here?

- Probably those rotten
Skunk Butts.

- Yeah, those Skunk Butts
stink.

Oh! Ha.
Now, I get it.

Funny name.

- Both bobsleds are still here.

We must be in the lead.

Axel, grab the coin,
we can still win this thing!

[screaming]

[cheering]

[screaming]

- You gonna scream
all the way back too?

- You know what?
Maybe I will.

- Quick! To the dinghy.

- Everyone okay?
- Barely.

- Uh-huh.
- I'm okay.

- Thankfully,
I landed on Ripper.

Ew! Is that your... back hair?

[stuttering]: I'm over here.

[roaring]

- It's an adorable snowman!

- He means abominable.

[yelling]

- Run!

- Go! Go! Go!

[roaring]

[screaming]

- MK, pull the brake!

- Aw, crud.

[screaming]

[Chris]: Team Rat Face
are almost back!

[screaming]

- Incoming!

[suspenseful music]

[screaming]

[moaning]

- Yoink!

Winners! Team Skunk Butt!

[cheering]

- I'm glad we won
but at what cost?

- Team Rat Face, I'll see you
at the elimination ceremony.

One of you is heading home.

- I really thought
we had that one, guys.

Sorry.
- Hey, it's not your fault.

We all tried our best.

- I did great!

[slurping]

- Well, let's get it over with.

[suspenseful music]

[wolf howling]

- Team Rat Face, you all must
have really caught a chill today

if you're willing to brave
a third consecutive

elimination ceremony
just to get near the fire.

- Very funny.

- Chef? Please recap our worst
performances of the day.

- My pleasure. Zee--

- Wait! Don't bother, Chef.

I just got hired to star
in a superhero franchise.

Three-picture deal. EP Credit.
All guaranteed.

And I gotta get back to LA
tomorrow to start sh**ting.

So... bye!

- Hold on. You told us
you hated Hollywood.

- Maybe you didn't hear me.

Three-picture deal!

Hope y'all have fun suffering
through this

for a chance at a measly
million bucks!

[chuckling]

- Nichelle Ladonna
is back, baby!

[screaming of joy]

[helicopter buzzing]

I'm coming, Hollywood!

- Wow. Did not see that coming.
- I did.

- Um, how?

- Cuz I wrote that big,
fat, fake contract

and left it on Nichelle's bed
before today's challenge.

I don't even count that
as gameplay.

That one was personal.

Sweet dreams, Rat Faces.

- Remind me never
to cross that girl.

[intriguing music]

- Well, well, well...

looks like someone has put
my hair dryer back.

If I were you,
I wouldn't move a muscle,

I wouldn't change the channel.

I wouldn't even sleep.

Cuz you do not wanna miss
a moment of the next

Total... Drama... Island!