A Kiss in the Dark (1949)

[bunniefuu]

"We return you now to Symphony Hall...

...and the Eric Phillips recital."

Hey, Schloss!

Don't bother me, I must have

Eric Phillips' music.

Quiet, everybody.

I've seen a lot of looney photographers

in my time, but this is a new wrinkle.

Got to have his own special

music yet.

And his own special pianist yet.

Shush!

Shush!

"A packed house is waiting for

Mr. Phillips' appearence onstage."

The audience is restless,

there is apparently some delay.

He's got to play. The house is sold out,

the audience is waiting.

He'll play if a have to carry him out

and wire him to the piano.

What's going on? What happened?

Well, he won't play.

What is it?

I can't, I don't remember anything,

it's all gone.

And my hands feel funny,

a sort of cramp or something.

Benton!

That's all right, just nerves.

Your hands are fine, wonderful.

But I can't face that audience.

I won't remember anything.

Now, please, Eric, do it for me.

Right out on the stage,

just this one more time.

That's it!

I'll be right here to massage your

hands between numbers, Mr. Eric.

What do I play?

Sonata in A major, by Schubert.

Sonata in A major by... Schubert

Sonata in A major by Schubert.

Come on, Eric.

Polly, you're responding to the music.

Be inspired, transfigured, excited.

Mr. Schloss, a girl can only give

so much for $15 an hour.

It takes a certain something

to handle such an artist.

I happen to have it.

Jitters, gentlemen.

- What happened?

- What is it, Eric?

I knew it. I knew I should never

have played tonight.

I made a mistake. A bad chord right

at the end of my last encore.

Look at the box office statement.

Not a seat, not a place to stand

in the whole house and you are...

What do I care about that?

What has that got to do with me?

I played badly, it was awful.

One single note.

One note out of a million!

And who noticed it? The critics had

left the Hall by then.

- I don't practice enough.

- Mr. Eric, five hours a day.

Yes, but I've been reading lately and

listening to the radio.

And yesterday I... I went for a walk

in the park.

Not only that, on my way home I...

I went into a newsreel theater.

He likes Bugs Bunny.

But tomorrow I get down to work.

No visitors, no interviews,

no business, nothing.

Very sound, a marvelous idea.

- And no more concerts.

- What?

Cancel all the summer engagements,

I won't play them.

- But they're all booked and paid for.

- Come now, we'll talk this over at home.

Come on, let's get out of here.

Eric, did you omit something

in the Brahms Sonata?

Or did my battery go dead?

No, I played it all, Mrs. Shamshoian.

You should have your battery checked.

Oh, thank you.

Please, please, please...

- Supper, gentlemen.

- Thank you.

Does the young master feel

better now?

Why must this monster dominate

my room as well as my life?

Like teeth.

I can't stand it grinning at me.

You're tired, Eric.

That's all, you're tired.

Yes, you've had a big season.

Let's see, you had eighty-one

concerts in America,

eighteen in South America,

nine in Canada,

six radio appearences and two benefits.

Tell you what. Next season we're going

to eliminate all those benefits.

Supper, Mr. Eric.

That's right, Eric, eat something.

Perhaps, Mr. Eric, tonight you could

have something more tasty.

Anna has prepared the most beautiful

beafsteak and kidney pie.

- The crust is just...

- Benton!

- Yes, sir.

- You know what a delicate stomach Mr. Eric has.

Yes, sir.

You've got to think about those

summer concerts.

Please. We're only hitting the high spot.

We start in Hollywood Bowl

and it's already sold out.

27,863 people.

27,862 people.

I won't be there.

I can't face another tour.

The music doesn't make sense

to me anymore.

Bobbing up and down in front of the audience

like a monkey on a stick.

Maybe I'll be all right if I lay off

this summer.

If not, you can cancel

the winter tour too.

Now I can't eat.

Well, maybe he's right, Peter.

Perhaps he does need a little rest.

Of course, rest, peace, quiet!

Cancel the concerts, cancel everything.

Are you strong enough to sign these?

Or should I cancel your investments too?

- Oh, please don't bother me tonight.

- It has to be tonight.

I'm going to Chicago tomorrow morning.

There's a good chance to buy into

a recording company.

- What is this, service stations?

- A whole chain of them. A great investment.

And what do I want with

service stations?

Diversified investment, young man,

is the key to financial security.

I also bought for you an

apartment house.

All from what we earned

in the last three seasons.

You're becoming a very wealthy

young man, Eric.

Just don't get temperamental.

Listen to me and you'll be

free from care.

I wonder.

Surprise, surprise, surprise.

Congratulations, Mr. Eric.

Many happy returns of the day.

What, is it my birthday?

No, it can't be. That happened in Kansas

in the middle of the Midwestern tour.

It is the 21st anniversary of your

concert debut tonight, Mr. Eric.

Twenty-one years, are you sure?

But I'm a young man.

They're right, Eric. It slipped my mind,

but they're right.

Let Mr. Eric cut the first, please.

Benton! The knife!

- Remember Mr. Eric's hands.

- Yes, sir.

Twenty-one years.

The name is Willoughby.

W-I-L-L-O-U-G-H-B-Y.

Mr. Phillips is my new employer.

A Mr. Willoughby to see you.

- Mister who?

- Mr. Willoughby.

He says he works for you.

Hello!

You'll find me loyal.

You'll find me faithful.

And I want to assure you, Mr. Phillips,

that you can depend on me

to the fullest extent.

Depend on you? What for?

Anything.

Well, what do you want

to see me about?

My goodness, my apartment house

in Morningside Heights.

You own it now.

Do I? Are you sure?

Aren't you interested in the

Cleopatra Arms, Mr. Phillips?

Well, yes, of course I'm interested.

I mean, you see,

Mr. Danilo, he makes all my investments.

Well, the Cleopatra Arms is hardly

an investment...

...in stone, wood and plumbing,

Mr. Phillips.

To fifty-three people it spells home.

Oh, that's fine.

Name any other building in

Morningside Heights...

...that has a marquee to protect

its tenants in bad weather.

I'm sure I couldn't.

I turned down a great many people

who wanted to buy the house, Mr. Phillips.

But when you came along, I felt that

turning it over to an artist,

someone with a soul, that

would be different.

But I really don't own the

Cleopatra Arms.

Well, that is, I do, but it's just something

with which I would never concern myself.

But Mr. Phillips, that's absentee

ownership.

Now, Mr. Danilo, well...

he's a businessman.

I never would have sold him

my Cleopatra Arms.

Then buy it back. I really

don't care.

Oh, I can see that. To you it's just

another investment.

I suppose if she don't pay enough,

you'll tear it down, eh?

She... her? Oh, the building.

Yes, the building.

Ay, tear her tattered ensign down

Long has it waved on high.

And many an eye has danced to see...

...that banner in the sky.

I never said I was going

to tear her down, did I, Benton?

No, sir.

Now, Mr. Willoughby, look

at it this way.

My business is giving piano concerts

and yours is running an apartment house.

That's two totally different fields.

Now just suppose that I asked you

to give one of my concerts.

Oh, that would be lovely.

Is it difficult?

That is not the point, Mr. Willoughby,

it's something with which you

should never be concerned.

Oh, but I like new ideas,

and new interests.

Uh... have you noticed my lion?

What is it?

I am the permanent honorary

second vice-president...

...of the Morningside Heights

Taxidermy Association.

My hobbies keep me young.

However, I see your point of view.

Thank you.

Oh, by the way, you'd better

have this, it's yours.

- What is it?

- It's a warrant for your arrest.

Thank you...

It's a what? What for?

Oh, just some repairs we

neglected to make.

Loose masonry in the entrance.

The building inspectors make a terrible

fuss over things like this.

- Why would they want to arrest me?

- You're the owner.

And they've ordered the repairs

made several times.

It's really my fault, I suppose.

But what am I going to do, Mr. Danilo's

in Chicago and I...

Oh, it's all very simple. All you do

is appear in the magistrate's court.

It happens all the time.

- Mr. Willoughby...

- Well, good day, Mr. Phillips.

No, wait, I'll come with you.

Benton, call the car and lay out

my things... and call the lawyer.

No, no, no. You just leave everything

to me, Mr. Phillips.

Mr. Phillips, you are now standing under

the marquee of the Cleopatra Arms.

Nice.

I want you to see it all

and meet the people.

We're all one big happy family here.

Get out! Go on get out of here!

Good morning, Mr. Botts.

Mr. Botts, this is Mr. Phillips,

the new owner.

Keep things quiet around here!

Radios blaring, people talking,

kids playing, dogs barking,

- I can't sleep!

- Please, Mr. Botts.

I work all night, in the daytime

I gotta sleep.

Dou you hear that, you old windbag?

I gotta sleep!

Now you keep it quiet around here,

if you don't, you're going to hear from me.

Quiet!

That man is the one rot

on our good name.

And he's not even a tenant.

Well, he acts like one. He sleeps

here, or tries to.

Well, he has a sublease from the nicest

people you ever met.

Chet Hale, a GI boy and his wife,

and now their little baby.

He refuses to give up the apartment...

...and now the Hales have

no place to live.

Except in the basement.

Mr. Willoughby, if it makes you any happier,

the Hales can move in with me.

Now, could we discuss

this thing about the...

No, you must see the house.

Take a good look all around.

This is my room here.

The stairway...

A beautiful oil painting we have.

- Hello, Mr. Willoughby.

- Hello, Willie.

This is Mr. Phillips, Willie.

I'm polishing a reflector for

a six-inch telescope.

with a focal length of 40 inches and elipsoid

parabolized to 97% correction.

That must be fine.

I can also give the distance

in light years between Earth...

...and Arcturus, Vega, Polaris

and Altair.

That's fine, Willie, I'm sure you'll be

finished within eight or nine months.

- Honest?

- Oh, yes.

And Mr. Phillips,

this will be the only apartment house...

...that has it's own private

observatory for the tenants.

- First things first, of course.

- Yes.

- Hello, Mr. Willoughby.

- Oh, hello.

Hold Junior for me,

will you, please?

- Oh, but look...

- My roast is burning.

But I don't want to be old-fashioned,

I don't know anything about these things.

Hello. Coochie-coochie-cookie.

Look at him smile, Mr. Phillips.

Coochie-coochie-coochie.

He's often frightened by

strangers, Mr. Phillips.

- Oh.

- We're all baby lovers here.

- We are?

- Oh, yes.

No, I guess he doesn't like you.

Come here.

Botts.

Oh, excuse me.

Oh, it's my fault, I backed out

without looking.

Polly, this is Mr. Phillips.

Hello.

This isn't mine, I'm just holding it

for a lady.

Yes, I know, that's my fella.

Thanks, mister.

I'm sorry I bumped into you.

I'll give you my license number

in case there's any damage.

No, no damage, no damage at all.

Polly, I was going to show Mr. Phillips

our future roof garden.

Phillips?

Are you the Phillips that bought

the Cleopatra Arms?

- Eric Phillips?

- Uh... well...

Well, what do you know?

Mr. Phillips came here to look

things over.

He's doing all right.

Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Polly,

I didn't mean to stare at you.

Well, you're the boss.

If you want to inspect a tenant, and the

tenant doesn't mind being inspected.

Quiet! What is this, a boiler room

or something?

How do you expect a man to sleep with

all this clitter-clatter outside of his door?

Now shut up, all of you!

Noise, like a confusion clitter-clatter!

The minute I close my eyes, boom,

starts all over again!

Now for the last time, stop it,

all of you, stop it!

- Please, Mr. Botts!

- Don't Botts me!

Look, I gotta work all night. Therefore,

I gotta sleep during the day,

but I can't sleep with all

of this clitter-clatter. And you...

You're the worst offender.

Walking up and down, dropping things,

the radio going, vacuum-cleaner,

clitter-clatter!

- You shut up!

- Now this is no way to speak...

Keep your nose out of this, junior,

my beef's with her.

- If I hear so much as...

- You go stuff your ears with cotton!

- I'll stuff cotton...

- Just a minute, Mr. Botts!

- Mr. Phillips...

- Shut up!

- Let him sound off.

- We were just having a quiet conversation.

Well go someplace else

and have it...

squirt!

- What?

- Squirt!

You skunk!

Now I'm going in and going to sleep.

No more of this clitter-clatter!

- I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Phillips.

- Don't worry, I'll be all right...

...as long as I can just get to my car.

No, you just sit there and lean back.

I gave that Botts a swift kick,

that fascist.

- Thank you.

- It was a pleasure.

Say, you were okay, you stood

right up to him.

- Yes, you certainly did.

- Just for a split second.

Don't worry, I'll get something

to fix it.

You know, I was going to hit him.

I've never hit a man before.

But I was going to hit him and then

suddenly I remembered my hands and...

...while I was remembering them

of course he hit me.

- Remembering your hands?

- Well, you know, the piano and everything.

Oh, sure, your hands.

Well, suppose I broke a bone, or pulled

something, a muscle or a tendon.

- Oh, sure, sure.

- You do understand, don't you?

Absolutely.

Here, this ought to help.

No, no, it's for external purposes only.

There.

It's cold.

Maybe a piece of beafsteak

on it would help.

Oh, I'm all out of steak.

Would a lamb chop do any good?

No, I don't think so.

Can you waggle it?

You don't waggle very good.

I see you're still inspecting

the premises.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's all right, I don't mind.

I'm not self-conscious about it at all.

- Are you?

- Of course I'm not...

...self-conscious.

That's fine.

You see, my wearing a play suit

is like you playing the piano.

It's what I do best.

And besides, it's comfortable.

It looks comfortable.

Who's that?

And what's he doing on the couch?

Oh, stop acting like a watchdog.

He's here because I invited him in.

This is Mr. Phillips, the new owner.

We had a little trouble a little while ago.

Botts erupted like a volcano.

He insulted me.

He did what?

Well now, don't start it again,

it's all over now.

- Why, I'll take that sourpuss apart!

- Bruce, stop it!

Mr. Phillips defended me. That's when Botts

punched him on the button.

Mr. Phillips, I'm going to run down to my

room and make you a flaxseed poultice.

It'll take all the soreness out.

Now, when you go out you stop at my room.

101, down at the foot of the stairs.

I'll wrap it around your face.

No, Mr. Willoughby, please

don't bother...

I wouldn't be found dead in a

flaxseed poultice.

We'll just tiptoe by his room

on the way out.

Hey, I hope you hung a good

one on that lug Botts.

He couldn't hit him, Bruce,

on account of his hands.

Oh, you hurt your hands, huh?

This is Eric Phillips, the great pianist.

This is Bruce Arnold, the great

insurance salesman.

Representing Equity Life,

the friendly company.

- Uh, how's your hands?

- There's nothing wrong with his hands, Bruce.

He has to be careful of his hands

because he's a great concert pianist.

That's why he couldn't hit Botts.

Hey, maybe Mr. Phillips ought to have

his hands insured.

Who'd want to steal his hands?

No, dummy, in case something

should happen to them.

Look, I think I must pop along

now, so, goodbye.

Thank you so much.

So long, Mr. Phillips.

Bruce, be careful with his hands!

Goodbye, it's been a wonderful day.

I've never been through one

quite like it.

Can't you ever forget that you

were once an All-American?

His hands may be worth almost

a million dollars.

Yeah...

Yeah, just like I held a million dollars

in my own little hand.

Hey, Polly, that's a wonderful

idea of yours.

I'll look up the insurance rate and we

can get married on the commission.

Yeah!

Quiet!

It's a mighty fine piece of

property, Mr. Phillips.

Yes, she is... it is, isn't it?

- I'm going in to see Mr. Willoughby.

- Yes, sir.

I'd better explain the situation

to you now and get it over with.

A place like this needs somebody's

undivided attention.

Oh, yes, sir.

- I can't give it mine.

- No, sir.

Look.

Get all the tenants on the roof quick.

Mr. Willoughby.

There are more in the back room.

Hello.

I was just looking at these,

they're very decorative.

Mr. Willoughby's a fan of mine. Comes in

handy when you haven't got the rent.

Yes, to be sure.

- I like that one.

- That's... very charming.

You know, my legs really aren't

that good.

But in that post they look

long and slender.

Take the body.

You see how they always take those lovely

little shadows and lights and put them just...

Miss Haines, is Mr. Willoughby here,

because I must see him.

Oh, he's waiting for you, they're all

waiting for you on the roof.

- All?

- All the tenants.

This is a big day for us. We've got a lot

to do and we want to get at it.

Oh, but I'd much rather see

him alone. You see,

I've come to the conclusion that it's wrong

to be an absentee landlord.

That's wonderful we knew you would.

Come on, get your hat,

let's go find him.

Folks, this is Mr. Phillips.

Mr. Eric Phillips.

Mr. Phillips wants to help us,

which is wonderful.

Now wait a minute, wait a minute.

We have a lot to do.

First we should concentrate on the roof

garden because summer's coming on.

Then we should start on the day nursery

and the recreation room downstairs.

And a lot more, but...

we can't expect all this from him

unless we're willing to help ourselves.

Now, first we need a carpenter.

- I'll be the carpenter.

- Wonderful!

- I'll do the plastering.

- Great!

- And I'll do the interior decorating.

- Wonderful!

Now, today the kids are going

on a hike...

and then they'll pick up shrubs and trees

and whatnot for the roof garden and...

Well, you see, we're in business.

Come on, folks, let's go!

Oh, it's like a dream come true.

The roof garden.

The day nursery.

- The recreation room.

- I'm quite sure we're doing enough.

Why don't you build a bowl room,

a swimming pool, a stadium?

Mr. Phillips, are you feeling all right?

I feel fine.

Mr. Willoughby, is there anything

else I can do for you?

Well, just trying to make our

people happy.

That's fine, just what I wanted.

What am I doing with roof gardens

and day nurseries?

What am I, the community chest?

I'm a busy man, I have work of my own to do.

- I'm sorry, Mr. Phillips...

- I know, I'm the only man...

...who has an apartment building on

Morningside Heights with a marquee outside it.

But I also know that I'm the only

concert pianist in the world...

- ...that doesn't get a chance to practice.

- Well, excuse me, but...

I have got radio managers, publicity

managers, managers' managers,

managers' managers' managers.

Why?

All so that I can be left alone.

All I ask is to be left alone.

Is that...

Is that asking too much?

Is that asking too much?

You're letting go, Mr. Phillips.

You're so definitely letting go.

Hang on, Mr. Phillips, hang on.

I beg your pardon?

All over the world people are hanging

from window sills by their finger tips.

Sometimes they let go.

Then they're done for.

You're letting go.

Am I?

It's strain that does it.

You hang on and suddenly

the strain becomes too great.

Then you let go.

And then...

Wham.

And that's all.

Hang on, Mr. Phillips, don't let go.

I haven't got much to hang on to.

Well, forget the piano.

You need a change.

You wouldn't know the old Cleopatra Arms,

it's a beehive activity.

- Is there something wrong?

- No, no...

Just talking over some things.

Polly, the hike.

Oh, we're all set. The kids are

all stacked up outside.

I mean, why couldn't you take Mr. Phillips

on the hike with you?

Just the change you need,

Mr. Phillips.

Hike?

Bruce Arnold usually takes them,

but he's out of town.

Oh, no, I couldn't, it's ridiculous...

How could I... would I have

to do anything?

- Not a thing, would he, Polly?

- No, just a nice relaxing walk.

I'm not very dressed for hiking.

Well, just slip off your coat,

take off your tie...

...and you'll be ready to grabble

with old mother nature.

Oh, no, oh... oh...

Hey, g*ng, look!

- Hey, where's Bruce?

- He's out of town.

- Meet your new hike leader.

- But where's Mr. Arnold?

- He said he was going to make a lean-to.

- Yeah, as a shed for wild animals.

Stop! Stop!

Or you don't get to go

on the hike at all.

All right, all aboard.

Let's go!

Mr. Arnold can answer any

question on woodcraft.

He can make a fire with two sticks.

Is that all? I'd like to make

a fire with one stick.

Don't get carried away.

What kind of a bird is this?

I haven't the faintest idea.

And whatever it is, it's singing off key.

- Well, I've got to do something.

- I know. I'll tell you what!

We'll find a nice quiet place

and while the kids have lunch...

...you give them an interesting talk,

they'll like that.

- Oh, that I can do.

- Of course you can.

Steady.

And it will become apparent at once

that the diatonic scale...

...has many advantages over

the chromatic scale,

namely in the creation of augmented

and diminished chords...

...and in atonal or dissonant passages

as opposed to harmonic and consonant modes.

This is particularly true in the contrapuntal

and polirhythmic phrases.

Any questions?

Mr. Arnold was gonna talk

about Indian smoke signals.

Mr. Arnold's an Eagle Scout

with 41 merit badges.

He can swim 600 yards under water.

When do we get to make

the lean-to shelter?

He could've made two lean-to

shelters by now.

All right, I'll make your shelter.

Now wait a minute, lets not bite off

more than we can chew.

You think I'm helpless, don't you?

I'll show them.

That's no lean-to.

Well, it leans, doesn't it?

It will give a great deal of shelter

and last indefinitely.

Build for the ages, that's my motto.

Build for the ages...

Fellas, what do you say we build

a real wild animal snare?

Yeah! Yeah!

Don't worry, professor,

this one we can do.

How's this tree for a wild

animal snare, Polly?

That's great! Come on, fellas.

Everybody on the rope.

Now take it easy, take it easy,

take it easy.

All right, heeve-h*!

Down it goes.

That's right... a little harder.

Now, if an animal steps into this snare,

woops he goes into the sky.

Doesn't make any difference

what kind of animal.

It could be a giraffe, a rhinoceros,

an elephant, anything. Up he goes.

Can we herd the wild animals into

the snare now, Polly?

Yeah, okay.

Oh, wait a minute!

Don't cross the roads and don't

climb anything.

And for heaven's sake, don't get hurt!

I was expelled from grammar school

for making a snare on the school grounds.

The principal stepped in it.

Now, Daniel Boone, how about

your lunch?

Well, I am hungry.

Aren't you usually?

Uh... well, I don't think

about it much.

Well, now, let's see.

We have deviled ham and cream

cheese on pumpernickel.

And we have sardines and peanut

butter on rye.

Well, I don't know, I...

Well, they're both good and

you are hungry.

Yes, I am. Sardine and peanut butter,

by Jupiter!

- There you are.

- Thank you.

There...

Well, go ahead and eat it.

- Do you do this all the time?

- Uh-uh. No, I'm a working girl.

You saw my pictures in

Mr. Willoughby's room.

Oh, yes, and I saw one last night,

a full page in a magazine.

Oh, the one at the football game

where I was fixing my stockings.

No, this was on a beach,

you were wearing a...

I guess it was a... bathing suit.

Oh, that one.

Bruce said that suit was immodest.

He had a fit.

And if Bruce has a fit,

I guess it's an earthquake.

He's pretty physical. But it's his training.

He was a great athlete.

He had more broken bones than

any other student.

Oh, fine.

You'd make a good athlete.

- You're well-built.

- Oh, thank you.

You're well-built too...

When I came to New York I visualized myself

stepping out of a long imported car...

...wrapped in sables from my ankles

to my ears.

Three months later I was dancing

in a nightclub for 40 bucks a week.

And I wasn't wrapped in much

of anything.

- Then you're a dancer too.

- You might call it that.

My routine were a few easy taps.

I did a cartwheel for a big finish.

I was never allowed to turn

a cartwheel even as a child.

My hands, you know.

Oh, sure.

Your hands.

Every time we start talking we always

wind up with my hands. It must be very dull.

Well, they're your hands and

they bother you, don't they?

No, it's just that they're...

they're important.

Well, why don't you have your

hands insured?

Then if anytrhing happened,

it wouldn't matter at all.

- What?

- Well, you'd get the money for it.

The money?

What about my music?

Oh. That.

Oh, that.

My dear young woman!

Do you think that my music just means

a few dollars to me?

I have been playing concerts

since the age of six.

When I was nine I was given a medal

by the president of France.

On my sixteenth birthday I drew

the biggest crowd...

... in the history of the Hollywood Bowl.

Well, look, maestro, I...

Just because I am not used to hiking

and camping you belittle me.

You probably don't respect a man

who is unable to build a dam...

...with his front teeth like a beaver.

Well, there are more important things

in the world than that.

All this... all this outdoor stuff.

Child's play, that's what it is,

child's play.

Fiddling about with a lot of shelters,

and snares and things.

What's important about that?

I, I can play nineteen piano concerti

and sixty-four sonatas from memory alone.

- Eric!

- And so, Miss Burgenheimer Ginger Beer...

- Good day!

- Look out behind you!

- No, get me down!

- Oh, no!

Call somebody... quick...

Mr. Phillips! My goodness,

what happened?

Well, I built a wild animal snare

and he stepped in it.

You must come in and lie down.

Mr. Willoughby, never again

will I enter the Cleopatra Arms.

What?

From now on I am an absentee landlord

and I don't care who knows it.

So you own the Cleopatra Arms,

eh, bub?

- What of it?

- You've had five warnings about...

...the loose brickwork on that dump.

What about it?

Mr. Willoughby! You are

responsible for this.

I came up here with you to do it.

It's all right, my dear boy, I made

the repairs myself today.

Come and let me show you.

Why, it's as solid as the Rock of Gibraltar.

- It couldn't be any stronger.

- It couldn't?

No.

There.

I wouldn't allow slipshod repairs

in my apartment building.

You try...

Here.

I'll see you in court tomorrow.

Goodbye.

Oh, Mr. Phillips, I'm so sorry.

I'm through with you.

Through with the Cleopatra Arms.

You've ruined my life, you're fired.

But he is practicing, Miss.

Good evening, Mr. Phillips.

I came here to be nice, and sweet,

and charming to you.

You heel!

Oh, and that's not all. I was going to

plead with you, and fawn over you,

and pamper your ego. Oh, I was just

going to ooze with sweetness.

You stinker!

What? I imagine this is about

Mr. Willoughby.

You're darn right it is, he's heartbroken

over what you've done to him.

Oh, I'll see that he's well-paid.

Oh, and that's gonna fix

everything, huh?

Do you know what that apartment house

and the people in it mean to him?

If it had meant that much, why

did he sell it?

Because he went broke!

He went broke taking care of people

who couldn't afford to pay rent.

Buying groceries for some,

paying medical bills for others.

Helping people.

Oh.

And all because of a silly little

accident you turn him out.

Drive him away from the only thing

he has to live for.

- I am sorry.

- I'll bet!

Well, I am!

I can be sorry, can't I?

I doubt it.

You're a selfish, egotistical weakling.

You're so occupied with yourself...

...you don't even know what world you're in

or what kind of people are in it with you.

If you move six inches away

from those keys, you'd swoon,

because you're vain, spoiled,

pampered and pretentious.

And I hope you stay that way.

And choke on it!

I'll keep in touch with all of you.

Well, excuse me while I say goodbye...

...to those near and dear to me.

Goodbye, Horatio.

Horatio was the first moose head...

...I ever mounted after I got

my taxidermy diploma.

Goodbye.

I can remember the day I stuffed him.

Or her.

I never was sure.

Goodbye, little Charlie.

Hang on, don't let go.

Goodbye, Marilou, goodbye.

I'm gonna miss all of them,

I'll miss all of you too.

I could just kick that Phillips

right in the teeth.

Excuse me.

- I've come to apologize.

- Huh?

Mr. Willoughby, I want you to run the

Cleopatra Arms for the rest of your life.

Oh, that's wonderful,

thank you so much.

We've made such wonderful progress.

- To the Cleopatra Arms.

- To the Cleopatra Arms.

To the Cleopatra Arms.

And I want you to go ahead

with all you've planned.

And I think we should redecorate

all the apartments too.

Maybe install some new appliances...

I guess that's all.

Unless you think I ought to reduce

all the rents.

This is wonderful. This is the happiest

day of my life.

How about another hamburger

on the house?

No, thank you, they're wonderful

but no...

Stop that noise! Shut up in there,

you pack of yabbering idiots!

Can't you do anything to get rid

of him, Mr. Willoughby?

I've tried everything.

Wait a minute.

Here's the answer to our

whole problem.

Huh?

- Who me?

- How many hours a day do you practice?

Six, eight, sometimes ten, why?

It's inspired. You practice here,

right up against that wall.

The noise will drive him out of his mind

and out of the house.

- The noise?

- I mean your playing.

Some people pay $20 a ticket

to hear me.

Not the people that are

trying to sleep.

- But, uh...

- He has the perfect legal right to practice.

He owns the house,

what can Botts do about it?

What do you say?

I'd be practicing right here,

wouldn't I?

Uh... let's think about it.

It's risky.

Anything might happen.

I'll do it.

I haven't wanted to practice

for a long time, now I do.

Atta boy! Music to soothe

the savage Botts.

Sleep tight, Botts, until

tomorrow morning!

Shut up!

Never saw such a big one

in my whole life.

Nothing but the best for Botts.

Bombs away.

Quiet!

Shut up! Shut up!

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Sock it hard, he's beginning to crack.

I'd better bolt this.

Quiet!

No... no...

- He stopped hammering.

- Good, then he'll hear the music better.

Don't tell me he's gone

back to sleep.

Just shows you what can be

done with ten fingers.

If you know how to pick them up

and where to lay them down.

You know, professor, you've been

at it for two hours.

I've only just begun to fight.

- Do you play chopsticks?

- I play it loud.

Fine, join me.

Victory is in sight.

Holy cow, look!

Oh, no! Oh, no!

- Mr. Eric, where have you been?

- Practicing.

You know, Benton, I'm getting to be

a pretty good pianist.

Mrs. Beal has offered me 50c a lesson

to teach that little boy of hers, Freddie.

Mr. Eric, I don't know what's going on.

Did you eat, did you have your lunch?

Well, I had a small snack, I had, uh...

chili and beans.

Tamales, a lot of whipped cream over

strawberry shortcake and coffee.

But Benton, right now I'm so hungry

I could eat one of my own records.

You might go and ask Anna

if she's got a nice big steak,

french fried potatoes,

anything she has around.

Mr. Danilo called. I tried to tell him

where you were.

But he didn't understand,

and I don't understand either.

I'm supposed to take care of you

when Mr. Danilo isn't here.

Mr. Eric, I don't like it. You shouldn't

go out the whole day without...

Benton, hang on!

- What?

- Hang on, Benton, don't let go.

Hang on.

All over the world, Benton,

people are hanging...

...by their fingertips from window sills.

Don't let go.

If you do...

Wham!

Now pop along and see about

that steak, will, you?

Go on, go on, get out of here!

- But Mr. Botts, I lost my other skate, I...

- Later, later, go on, get lost, will you?

Well, now I got you, ain't I?

Oh... Oh, no, no...

Help!

Oh, thank you, Mr. Botts,

you found my other skate.

Nice work, Freddie.

Any request numbers

for today, Botts?

You.

Stop stamping your feet.

Why, that's beautiful.

And it's good too.

Isn't it wonderful that music can be good

even if people like it?

Sure, why not?

What do you know, I'm a music lover.

Why, I like that.

Well, it's very convenient. Two people meet,

kiss in the dark and bingo!

You don't think it can happen that way?

It's a shortcut for songwriters.

- You want to know my theory?

- What's that?

Propinquity.

- I beg your pardon?

- Propinquity. It's a word.

I guessed that much.

I found out about it one day when

I was doing a crossword puzzle.

It means nearness.

When two people are close together

for periods of time.

- And that's all, no romance, just...

- Propinquity.

P-r-o-p-i-n-q-u-i-t-y.

Mind you it's not all propinquity.

Oh, I am relieved.

Propinquity just starts it.

Now, you take two people that are

thrown together say in an office.

Just two normal people.

Naturally they must be a boy

and a girl.

Oh, naturally.

In books, plays, movies, he looks

at her, she looks at him and...

Love.

But what happens in real life?

He probably looks at her

and says, "Hm, some dish."

And, she looks at him and says,

"Hm, some trip."

That's when old man propinquity

comes in.

Propinquity throws them together.

Keeps them seeing each other, noticing

little things about each other.

Days, weeks, months, years go by...

...and then one morning Romeo comes

in wearing a tie with polka-dots yet.

And suddenly love.

Hm...

You don't think so?

Yes.

Yes, I think I do.

It's being together.

It's having a chance of...

...noticing things about each other.

Being near each other.

Yes.

Well, it's just a theory.

I don't think it would work really.

I like propinquity.

I like it with you, Polly.

I haven't heard a peep out of Botts

in such a long time.

Yes, that's right.

I'd hate to think he was sleeping.

Yes.

Well, here goes.

This is the girl that lives in the

apartment house.

Her name is Polly. He met her

the first day up there.

Then he moved a piano into

her apartment.

"Keep cool with Burgenheimer's".

Uh-huh!

"I am dreaming", it says.

You know what I think it says.

I know what I think.

What about his practicing?

He...he's practicing up there.

He has his meals sent up there too.

- Is he up there now?

- Tonight he's at Madame Karina's.

- His teacher, it's her birthday...

- I know, I know, I know!

He's always up there on her birthday.

Eleven bottles.

My most successful birthday party, Eric.

- I'm so glad, Madame Karina.

- It was a beautiful party, Madame.

Thank you, my dear, thank you both

At my age it's nice to have

a party to be remembered.

To be remembered? Madame Karina's one

of the most famous musicians in the world.

- You're joking.

- Yes, I am famous.

There was once a time when

I could play louder...

...and faster than any other person

in the world.

People came from all over to hear me.

Bravo, they shouted.

Or bravissima!

Madame Karina, you're wonderful!

You are great!

And I played for them, over and over.

They shouted, I played...

...and suddenly I looked up one morning

and I was an old woman.

All alone.

Yes, alone, miserable.

Unhappy, tired.

Oh, so tired.

- Please, Madame Karina.

- Let me finish.

Perhaps it's good that I had

so much champagne.

I think I should have told you

this long ago.

Perhaps it's better now.

Listen.

I used to think because I could

do that,

that I was the master and this

was the sl*ve.

All the time it was the other

way around.

- Remember that, Eric.

- Yes, I've learned that.

Good.

My life is locked up with those keys.

Don't let it happen to yours.

- Forgive me, my dear.

- Well, I'm glad you said it, Madame.

I'm not a musician or any kind

of an artist.

- But I think I know what you mean.

- I'm sure you do.

And don't worry about me, I enjoy playing.

No, it's all different.

Then you've found something

very important.

Don't let it fly away.

Thank you, my dears.

Madame Karina, I'd like to come

again if you'll ask me.

Of course. Eric will bring you

often, I hope.

Oh, no, Mme. Karina...

Polly and I...

- Goodbye.

- Goodbye.

You think I don't know.

Take him into your world, my dear.

Make it his too.

Well, I'll see if he can take it.

What do you think of it?

I like it. What is it?

Music!

I can tell that by the instruments.

What's it called?

Roll me up in bread crumbs, Daddy,

'cause I want to get fried.

- Listen to the trumpets.

- I'll try.

You've changed since that first

day at Cleo Arms.

Well, then I used to be nervous

and moody.

Now I'm peaceful and serene.

- Huh?

- I said I'm peaceful and serene.

I said I am peaceful and serene!

How do you do?

Hiya, Polly!

- Hiya, Studsy.

- How's everything?

Wonderful, wonderful.

Studsy Nolan, this is Eric Phillips.

Hey, you're not Eric Phillips,

the long-hair.

I beg your pardon?

He means are you Eric Phillips

the concert pianist.

- Oh, yes, yes, I am.

- Well, how about that?

Hey, Cookie, here's Eric Phillips,

the schmaltzer.

- The what?

- It's alright, it's a compliment.

I'm delighted, Mr. Phillips. Your playing

is a source of much pleasure.

Boys, in honor of Mr. Eric Phillips,

the world renowned pianist,

how about our own arrangement

of the Polonaise?

Hold it, Mr. Phillips, that way!

- Thank you.

- Holy smoke, thank you!

You don't know anything

about tipping, do you?

Well, somebody usually does it for me.

I know waiters get a percentage.

A hundred percent, two hundred

percent, I don't know.

- I'd like to wait on you.

- Oh, I'd like that.

They're in love.

Oh.

Polly...

It's kind of late, isn't it?

I don't know,

Somebody usually tell time for you too?

Somebody usually does

everything for me.

But now there's something that

I have to do myself and, uh...

I don't know how.

What's it about?

Propinquity.

Oh, that.

What about it?

It didn't work on me.

- Oh.

- It didn't have to.

From the first time I came here, something

new and lovely came into my life.

And now when I think of going

back into that...

that ivory shell, it seems so lonely.

I'd be lonely too.

Hello, Eric.

Peter, uh...

Um, Polly, this is, um...

...my business manager,

Mr. Danilo.

Glad to meet you, Miss Haines.

Heard a lot about you.

From Mr. Willoughby.

I'm sorry I did what I just did.

I shouldn't have.

Good night.

I guess I made a bad entrance.

Mr. Danilo was here.

He's found out about you and Eric.

I guess the butler told him.

Well, did he approve? Did the butler

approve, do you approve?

Or should we hear from

the music critics?

He's only a pianist, he's not the

president of the United States.

He doesn't need a Secret Service

to protect him.

Maybe he does, he's sensitive, Polly.

I know he's sensitive,

and I know he needs somebody,

but it isn't a watchdog that opens doors

and cuts his food and ties his shoelaces!

They made a nervous wreck out of him.

Do you remember the first day he came here?

Ready to faint if somebody said

boo in the wrong key.

Well look at him now.

At least he's human.

And it wasn't his business manager, or his

concert manager or the butler that did it.

- I did.

- Why, Polly?

Why?

Well, I don't know why.

Maybe it's because I felt

sorry for him.

- It wasn't because he was rich.

- I know.

I'm glad. You're still my

favorite tenant.

Well, you believe me, don't you?

Yes, I know it's true.

I knew you were in love with him

before you did.

Mr. Danilo is taking orders

from me now.

Go ahead and tell him all

about our mural.

And you listen.

No other apartment house in Morningside

Heights will have a mural like it.

Now, that's going to be very cheap,

just cost you a few thousand.

A few thousand?

How do we get it back?

We can't raise the rent and the...

Shh. Hang on, Peter.

Hi, Eric, ready for Botts?

He's going to wish he'd been

born without any eardrums.

Are you going to be working all day?

Oh, I never know. I'm working for

Hugo Schloss over on Madison.

He's the fellow that's crazy

about your music.

- Call me up or come back soon.

- All right.

Mr. Phillips is s changed man since he became

interested in the Cleopatra Arms.

Now, Mr. Danilo, let me show you where we

plan to have the hothouse for the tenants.

Great, let's make it good and hot

for the tenants.

This'll be the only apartment house in

Morningside Heights that raises orchids.

No good, Botts, I've just begun to fight.

Eric.

Eric.

Oh, I'm so happy.

Mr. Willoughby, what's happened?

Eric, come here, I want to show

you something.

Look, look down there.

Botts.

Hey, chum!

Botts, don't forget my next New York

recital, September 30th, Carnegie Hall.

At last he's gone. We won.

Mr. Willoughby, I must tell Polly right away.

What's the address of that photographer?

Uh... Schloss, 444, Madison Avenue.

Go to her, Eric, with my blessing.

Now, you move the Hales in right away,

redecorate the place,

get some flowers and get a new

perambulator for the baby, all on me.

All right.

Oh, they'd make a nice couple.

Oh, dear.

Hello, Bruce.

What's this?

- What's what?

- That!

Oh, this?

Seems to be a piano.

How did it get here?

Well, you see... Bruce, it's like this.

It's like this. The cutie on his arm

is Polly Haines, the New York model.

I'll shove that two-timing piano

down his wolfie's throat.

Oh, Bruce, you don't understand.

You see, we had to get Mr. Botts out

of the apartment next door,

so Mr. Phillips came up here to practice.

Practice?

You call that practicing?

Well, I'm sure Polly can explain

everything to you.

Well, somebody'd better.

Where is she?

Well, she's gone out to work,

she didn't say where.

What's this? What is this,

Grand Central Station?

Oh, this is just a friend, Bruce...

a friend of mine, that is.

- Mr. Arnold, Mr. Danilo.

- Yeah, yeah.

Are you sure Polly didn't say

where she was working?

- No, she didn't, she...

- But she did, I heard her.

For some photographer named Schloss.

Over on Madison Avenue.

Thanks, pal.

Oh, Bruce, wait...

Bruce.

Wait.

Bruce!

Bruce...

Bruce?

Bruce! Shades of Shostakovitch!

The fianc?.

He'll m*rder him.

Schloss, the...

What's his number?

Bruce! Bruce, I've got to talk to you.

Let go of me, Mr. Willoughby,

I'm saving one big punch for

that sneaky pianist...

but I'll give you a dress rehearsal

if you want.

No, it's all a mistake. Polly is doing

this for you.

Yeah, yeah, thank them both.

It's just so she can get

a big insurance policy on his hands.

A million dollars! Would you

beat up your best customer?

Insurance on his hands.

Polly did mention something about that.

- Yes.

- Good old Polly.

The light, it's no good.

I'm photographing brilliant

winter sunshine...

...and you are making it an eclipse.

It's no good.

Will you hurry up, Schloss,

I've got somebody waiting for me.

The skis will look like she has

two salamis on her feet.

Well, I can't help it, I've never

been on skis before in my whole life.

Now remember, Polly, you're racing down the

mountainside because you're in a hurry...

...to get to the bottom for a glass

of Burgenheimer's ale.

Well, I'll look as thirsty

as I can, Schloss.

- That's it. Quiet, relax, ready!

- Ready.

Ready with the wind.

Ready.

Ready with the snow.

Ready.

Hold it.

Oh, Polly, I've got the most

wonderful news!

Eric, are you all right?

Oh, I'm fine, I hope

I didn't spoil anything.

Idiot!

Saboteur!

Who is this man?

This is the great Eric Phillips.

Eric Phillips?

What an honor...

what an honor.

Welcome!

Get everything ready again.

A communique right from the front.

Botts has retreated under heavy fire...

he's moved, we won.

Eric, that's wonderful!

That's for the Hales.

That is for the Cleopatra Arms, and...

- that one is...

- Polly, telephone.

Oh, okay, thanks.

Hello?

What?

He is? Now?

Well, sure I'll get him out.

Thanks.

Don't ask any silly questions.

Just get out.

Go out the back door,

go home, bolt the door.

- Why, what for?

- Oh, please, Eric.

Bruce is on his way over here.

Danilo just called to warn me.

He's seen a picture of us and he's steaming

mad! Will you get out for Pete's sake?

No. It's time I had a word

with Bruce.

A word with Bruce?

He'll come in swinging.

Before you can say Johann Sebastian Bach

he'll have you laid out cold.

I am ready and waiting.

Eric, my friend!

Hey, what's going on here?

- Wait!

- Don't hurt your hand.

Bite me, anything!

Watch your hands, Eric.

Eric, be careful with your hands.

Peck me with your head or something.

Now wait a minute, wait a minute!

Polly!

Are you all right?

Polly, speak to me, speak to me.

Get a doctor.

- You get a doctor.

- Well, she's my girl.

Your girl, don't make me laugh.

Let go of her!

Listen.

Listen! Wait a minute!

Polly put in a lot of time with you

just to sell you an insurance policy.

For me.

Now, I don't want you to break anything

until I get you signed up.

So don't get any ideas about Polly.

And if you've got any,

keep them to yourself.

See?

Oh... I didn't understand, I...

I do now.

Hey, it's snowing.

Yes.

I suppose it's that old saying

about women.

They'll do anything for love.

An insurance policy.

Turn off the snow!

Are you feeling better, honey?

Turn off the snow!

I don't want it to snow...

...at this time in my studio!

Eric! Eric!

- No, he can't be reached.

- But I've got to talk to him!

- He left orders, Miss Polly.

- Oh?

He didn't want any calls.

Particularly yours.

But I have something I want

to explain to him.

All right, I'll tell him, good bye.

Who was that, Peter,

was that for me?

Oh, that fellow about the insurance.

Oh!

- You want him to sign the policy?

- Yes, give it to him. He's entitled to it.

Well, it's a nice fat premium.

Bruce Arnold tells me he's

getting married on it.

He wants you to come to the wedding.

Fine, I'll play the piano for them,

I'll sing "Oh, Promise Me"!

Anything else?

Why not get out of town for a while?

I talked to Soames today.

We can still make the concert on the

West Coast and do the tour.

All right, I'll do it.

I might as well.

Now you're talking.

Hello, darling.

- Oh, Bruce, put me down.

- What's the matter?

Oh, nothing. But do you have

to treat me as if you were crashing...

...through Notre Dame's five-yard line?

I'm sorry, Pol. I wanted to show you

the figures on the Eric Phillips policy.

Gee, the company's pleased.

And like you said, the publicity's terrific.

- Congratulations.

- Funny thing, though.

I asked the medical board if they wanted to

examine his hands and they laughed at me.

They said that his hands were

probably stronger than mine.

- From practicing. Can you tie that?

- They did?

That guy's been practicing

for twenty-one years.

Bruce.

Did you talk to him about

that policy?

Him? Nobody talks to him.

I handled this through Danilo,

his business manager.

That Danilo.

It'd serve him right if I told Phillips

what he made me do.

But then I might not get

the insurance.

Oh, well, half the commission's still

plenty for a honeymoon.

- Half the commission?

- Yeah, Danilo gets half.

That's the way he places all

the insurance.

He gets a cut on everything

that he buys for Phillips.

Why, that cheap conniving crook!

Well, what difference does it make?

It's not gonna cost Phillips anything.

And if it did, what difference

does that make?

Oh, nothing, nothing at all

if you can't see it.

Well, I don't. This is a big

deal for me.

I'd like to have it all for myself.

But if Danilo wants half, then I'm

happy with what's left.

You're pretty pianist isn't going

to get hurt.

Unless the contract doesn't go through

for some reason or another.

Okay, Polly?

Yeah, yeah, sure, okay.

That's my girl.

Everything's just peachy.

And why do you keep playing

that now?

It's none of your business,

I'm going on the tour,

I'm playing the concerts, isn't that

enough for you? And leave me alone.

All day long he asks, "Did anybody call?"

"Are you sure there weren't any calls?"

This trip is just what he needs.

- Yes?

- This is Bruce Arnold.

Oh, hello there.

Hello there, Mr. Danilo.

Say, listen, I've got two typers

working on those policies.

- It should be through around four o'clock.

- Make sure it's on the train.

Sure I can bring them down

to the train.

It would be a great place to take

some pictures.

All right.

Take care of everything, Benton.

I'll see you at the station.

- Who was that?

- Mr. Arnold, sir.

He's bringing the insurance policy

to the train.

That's just what I needed.

If you will select your music,

I'll pack it for you.

Thank you... Where's the new concerto.

Where's the score?

Well, it's always there on top.

Did you bring it from the

apartment house?

Oh, I forgot. Is Chris downstairs

with the car?

- Yes, sir. There's plenty of time.

- Oh, no, Benton, you go.

Oh, no, sir, you go.

I'd gladly go, but I have

so much to do.

And Chris is such a dumb-head about things.

He's apt to bring the wrong music.

I do need it.

I don't think I know it.

- You sure I have time?

- Yes, sir, you have the entire afternoon.

Well, I'll meet you at the train.

- Don't forget to pack that keyboard.

- Oh, yes, sir.

- Eric, my boy, how are you?

- Fine, thank you.

- How's the telescope coming.

- Mr. Willoughby says I'm making progress.

Me, I don't know.

I left some music upstairs.

- Come on, we'll go up together.

- No, I think I'll wait.

It's a big thing, about that thick

and it's sort of wrapped up.

Come on, Polly isn't home anyway.

I'll let you in, you can look for it.

Come on.

All right.

There you are. Help yourself.

Polly, what are you doing here?

Shouldn't I be asking that question?

Mr. Willoughby said you were out,

that's why I came to get my music.

Oh?

I'm going out of town.

Oh.

I'm going to California for a concert.

Well, I could shake hands with you,

but I'm afraid to let go of the towel.

Bon voyage.

- Bon voyage to you too.

- I'm not going anyplace.

Oh.

Well, goodbye. I hope you'll be

very happy you two.

You and Bruce.

Don't forget your music.

Oh.

Goodbye.

Bye.

Mr. Willoughby!

Mr. Willoughby!

- Yes, sir?

- Oh, there you are. I'm locked in.

The knob's come off in my hand.

Oh, my goodness, I wonder how

that could have happened.

- And Polly's in here too.

- How nice.

It's not nice, she's wearing a towel.

It's the new look.

Mr. Willoughby, now do something about it.

Go and get a locksmith or someone.

I have a train to catch, so nip along,

will you, Mr. Willoughby?

Yes, sir, right away.

I consider this a preposterous and

thoroughly intolerable situation.

Well, here we are. Marooned.

How's this for propinquity?

- I'm not sure I'm dressed for it.

What about me, suppose I miss my train.

What about my concert?

Oh, that would cause a w*r.

A riot.

- A revolution at least.

- It means a great deal to some people.

Oh, Bruce will be there waiting

at the station...

...with that insurance policy

that you sold me.

Of all the cheap salesmen tricks.

I'll say this for you. You'll make a great

team. You should be very happy together.

Well, it worked.

Shall I get the fix-it box,

Mr. Willoughby?

Not yet, Willie, stand by.

I bet and I bought.

Three thousand dollars, that was

the commission on that policy.

That's not bad pay for the time

you put in with me.

If you think I owe you any more,

you can send me a bill.

How dare you! Get out!

There's nothing I'd like more,

but how?

Even if I have to break the door

down, I'll get you out!

But first I think you ought to learn

about the facts of life!

Did you know that that chiseling

manager gets half of every policy?

No, you didn't.

And while you've got insurance

on the brain let me tell you this.

I didn't tell Bruce I was selling that

policy, Mr. Willoughby told him!

To keep him from beating

your brains out that day in the studio.

Mr. Willoughby tried to call you later

and tell you the truth and so did I.

But you, Mr. High and Mighty,

you wouldn't answer the telephone.

Well, who wouldn't answer the phone,

everytime it rang I...

Now?

Not yet, Willie.

Get set, on your mark.

Why...

I called a dozen times.

Mr. Danilo said you didn't

want to talk to me.

But I asked a dozen times a day

whether you had called.

Oh, Eric.

Oh, Eric.

Go!

- What are you doing here, Polly?

- Now, Bruce, it's perfectly respectable.

Eric, where were you?

And what is this mob scene?

Well, let's get down to business.

I've already got your check

from Mr. Danilo.

So if you'll just sign here,

we'll close the deal.

That'll be a pleasure.

You correct me if I'm wrong.

My hands are now insured against anything?

Any injury and we pay.

Now let's get a nice picture, Mr. Phillips.

Will you put up your hands, please?

Oh, Bruce, you'll be interested in this.

Polly and I were just married.

I'll have to hold up my hand too.

Married? Well that does it.

Oh, insurance is a fine thing.

I love it.

We'd better get on board, Eric.

Say goodbye to Polly.

- Am I still insured?

- All the way.

- How about that, Mr. Willoughby?

- You were great, champ!

- What is this?

- Well, that's my practice keyboard.

I always take it away

with me on trips.

If I don't have it with me, I don't know

what to do with myself.

Oh...

- Bye-bye!

- Bye!

Have a happy honeymoon.

Eric, hang on, don't let go!

Hang on!