Monkeys, Go Home! (1967)

[bunniefuu]

[DOG BARKING]

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

[RATTLES DOOR HANDLE]

[WHISTLES]

[SIGHS]

I'm dying for love of you, Maria.

See how my hand shakes.
For a butcher, this is very dangerous.

What am I going to do with you, Marcel?

Won't you ever give up?

Never. Time is in my favor.

One of these days you will outgrow
those childish religious scruples.

That has nothing to do with how I...

Oh, what is the use?

Just give me the meat Mama ordered.

[CONTINUES WHISTLING]

Oh, pardon me, mademoiselle.

I wonder if you could tell me
where I could find the estate agent?

- Monsieur Paraulis?
- Yes.

- That is...
- I tried there. He's out.

Oh...

You see the cafe?
The table with the three men.

- Yes?
- He's on the right.

- Thank you very much.
- Monsieur.

Monsieur Paraulis?

Hmm?

- Oui.
- Henry Dussard.

- Dussard...
- Yes.

[GASPS] Dussard!

From America, yes?

[LAUGHS] The nephew of Old Antan.

Come all the way from America
to claim his inheritance. [CHUCKLES]

- I was expecting you, monsieur.
- Thank you.

This is your first visit to
St. Prioust en Pegoustan,

- n'est-ce pas, monsieur?
- Yes, it is.

But I have a feeling
I've been here before.

- You know that feeling?
- [LAUGHS] To be sure!

Sometimes I feel
that way about America,

so much have I heard about it.

You have come into
a fine old property, monsieur.

Uh-huh.

I can get a very handsome price for you.

No. No, thank you, Monsieur Paraulis.

The place is not for sale.

This is an olive farm, right?

Well, I intend to work it, live on it myself.

- After all, 500 olive trees...
- Four hundred and eighty.

Well, give or take a few,
that's still a lot of trees.

Should be a real good living, you know.

They are worthless.

Worthless?

The cost of labor, monsieur,
the olives would never support you.

Now, wait.

My mother used to live in this town.

She always told me
there was money in olives.

Times change, monsieur.

The world is watching its weight.

Olive oil is out of fashion.

Do yourself a favor and reconsider.

[CHUCKLES]

You...

You almost had me fooled
there for a minute.

Eh?

The real estate pitch in Southern France
is the same as the USA.

Naturally, I do not expect you to
take my word. Find out for yourself.

Uh-huh. I intend to.
If you'll tell me how to get there.

It is called Mas-de-la-Pousoraco.

Mas-de-la-what?

Old Provencal, meaning "The Iron Well."

- Take the road to the right.
- Uh-huh.

Go about five kilometers.

To your left you will see a well

with a fine old wrought iron arch.

That will be it.

Thank you, monsieur.

If you should change your mind,
Monsieur Dussard,

consult no one else.

The others are all thieves.

[CHUCKLES]

So long.

[DISTANT SINGING IN FRENCH]

[GIRL SINGING]

[MAN SINGING]

[ALL SINGING]

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

Ah, Monsieur Dussard.

Welcome to the parish
of St. Prioust en Pegoustan.

- Thank you.
- I am Father Sylvain.

Well, I'm very pleased
to meet you, Father.

SYLVAIN: Do they disturb you?

No, no. They're just a little unexpected,
that's all.

Bon. I like a man
who is fond of children, you see.

Well, actually...

Children are the hope
of mankind, monsieur.

Through them we will conquer
greed and cruelty.

This is a vision of mine.

And you will hear more of it
as our friendship grows stronger.

I teach them that one's whole life
should be a prayer.

Do you agree, monsieur?

- Well, frankly, I...
- Of course, my son. Forgive me.

You have problems of your own.

There is much to be done here, eh?

Yes, yes. It's a question of
whether to begin inside or out.

Uh-huh. Then you intend to stay?

Yes, I do, Father.

Uh-huh. May I ask what is
your line of business, monsieur?

Well, if I'm gonna grow olives,

I guess you could
call me an olive farmer.

You are married?

No. No, I'm not.

Well, that is too bad.

What do you mean?

I was thinking of the olives, monsieur.

For a single man, they are impossible.

You know, you're the second man today
that's told me olives are worthless.

No, I never said "worthless."

But unless a man has many children,

he will not get his olives picked.

He won't?

The cost of labor, monsieur.

It eats up all the profits.

Oh, I see. Well, I'll pick 'em myself, then.

[LAUGHS] Obviously, monsieur,
you know nothing about the olives.

Well, they pick 'em
off the trees, don't they?

Oui. Over in Marseilles,
but our trees are different.

When the olives are ripe, the mistral
comes and knocks them to the ground.

The mistral?

Yes, the big wind that blows through
here every year at harvest time.

The wind knocks the olives down,

then they must be picked up with
the thumb and the finger one at a time.

A man's fingers are too rough.

The fingers of a women are better.

But those of the child are best of all.

[CHILDREN PLAYING]

Marriage would solve
your problem, monsieur.

Do you know how long it would take me

to raise enough little pickers
to pick all these olives?

- I can't wait that long.
- [CHUCKLING]

- You can marry a widow.
- Yeah.

I happen to know several.

- You're serious, aren't you?
- Oh, oui.

Well, no thanks. I'll find some other way,
if you don't mind.

Maybe the hand of God
is in your coming here, monsieur.

I just want to make an honest living.

I will pray to St. Prioust
for your success, monsieur.

Thank you.

Come and see me, eh?

Thank you, I will.

[CHILDREN PLAYING]

Let's go home. Let's go home.

[SINGS IN FRENCH]

[ALL SINGING]

So it takes a family, does it?

[WOMAN HUMMING QUIETLY]

[DUSSARD HUMS]

[WOMAN CONTINUES HUMMING]

Bonjour, Monsieur Dussard.

[HUMMING CONTINUES]

What are you doing here?

I'm preparing monsieur's breakfast.

Oh.

Has monsieur slept well?

Yeah, yeah. Thank you. But...

Oh.

I am Maria Riserau.

We met yesterday in the village.

Yes, I remember.

But I'm still wondering why you're here.

Father Sylvain sent me.

Father...

Oh, the priest!

The truth is, monsieur,
he asked Mama to come,

but she is ill, so I have come instead.

Oh.

Pardon, monsieur. Breakfast is ready.

Uh-huh.

Bon appetit, monsieur.

Thank you.

Father Sylvain, huh?

Say...

You wouldn't happen
to be a widow, would you?

Me? [LAUGHS]

No!

But Mama is. She has nine children.

She...

Nine?

I'm the eldest.

Eat, monsieur. It becomes cold.

[CHILDREN LAUGHING OUTSIDE]

Pardon, monsieur. Pardon.

MARIA: Children! Children!

What will monsieur think?

You are here to work and be useful,
not to play and fight.

Children, I introduce you to your new
neighbor, Monsieur Dussard.

Monsieur Dussard,
these are my brothers and sisters.

Now, children, all together...

ALL: Welcome, Monsieur Dussard,
to St. Prioust en Pegoustan.

Well, thank you.

Now, boys, clean up the yard.
Girls, come into the house with me.

Marius, on second thought, you go
into the house with Sidoni and the girls.

Yes, but I want to work with the boys.

Ah, ah, no back talk. Quickly, inside.

Come on.

Go and sweep.

If you would start
making the bed it would be marvelous.

Sidoni, come here.

Come and look at the picture!

- I'll take that! There we go. Never mind.
- Pardon, monsieur.

Never mind cleaning up in here.
Everybody outside.

- But, monsieur...
- No buts. Out, out, out.

I just don't like people looking
around and cleaning up. That's all.

But I promised Father Sylvain...

Now, you tell Father Sylvain
I appreciate the help,

but no thanks.

And you tell him for me
that when I need little pickers,

I'll supply my own, my own way.

Thank you.
And it won't have to be by marriage.

Now mademoiselle...

Au revoir.

[DOGS BARKING]

[GIRLS GIGGLING]

Bye-bye.

- Bonjour, Maria.
- Bonjour, Marcel.

Your order, cherie.

Merci. How much?

Forty francs, 70.

You've been avoiding me, Maria.

I've started working again.

Oh...

How is the American?

The American?

Yes. Your neighbor.

The one whose breakfast
you've been serving?

Where did you hear that?

Oh, these things get around.

Oh, it happened once.
I haven't seen him since.

Oh, no?

How could I possibly have seen him?
He keeps to himself.

And besides, he has been away.

But you do notice that he does keep
to himself and that he has been away.

[ENGINE CRANKING]

Too much throttle, Maria.

You're flooding it.

Nothing good is ever done in anger.
Let me try.

Meanwhile, you say
a prayer to St. Prioust.

When you contemplate his holy anger
these little irritations fade away.

[ENGINE STARTS]

You see? It's working already.

Oh, I'm sorry, Father.
I've lost your place.

It's nothing Maria.
At my age, I know this book by heart.

How does it go at the perfume factory?

Very well.

And your new American neighbor?

Oh!

I know when to mind
my own business, Father.

I'm not the least interested in that man.
And you know,

he's not a bachelor like you said.

No? He told me he was.

Marius saw pictures
of him with his children.

Oh, but they could be his cousins,

or perhaps his nieces or nephews.

Then why was he ashamed?

Ashamed?

Oui. He became very angry,

and he grabbed the pictures from Marius
and he threw us out.

Why would he do that
if he is not hiding something?

Oh, come now, Maria.

He's ashamed,
because his children are so ugly.

Maria!

Marius said they looked
just like little monkeys.

Little monkeys?

[CHATTERING]

Madeline, sit down now,

and let me do the driving, all right?

Here, you look at the road map.

Keep me on the right track.

- [SCREAMING]
- Hey, cool it back there, will ya?

Why don't you look at the map,
like Madeline, here.

Hey!

Wow. Cut that out, now, Delphine.
That's not funny.

Sit down, keep your hands to yourself.

That's better.

How're we doing?

All right, girls.
We're coming into the village now.

I want you to lie down back there.

You too, Madeline. Come here.

That's good.

Now, stay that way.

Under wraps until the time is ripe.

Improvements?

What kind of improvements?

The spare room by the kitchen,
for one thing.

He's making it into a nursery.

A nursery?

Are you certain of this?

I make it my business to be certain
of everything before I speak.

It is a virtue you should acquire.

If it is a nursery,
then he must be married.

That does not necessarily follow.

Yes, it does, Emile.

For an American, it does.

Here. Have one.

Merci.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Did you see?

It's the American. He has returned.

All right, stay down now. Stay down.

You, too, Madeline. Get down. Get down.

[MONKEYS CHATTERING]

Come on.

Come on, Madeline, keep up.

Okay, come on in, girls.

There we go.

Now, let's not get carried away.
Let's act like ladies.

Hey, stop chasing Monique
around that way.

You two get off the sink, will ya?

We're not here to play,
you know, we're here to work.

Oh, boy.

All right, now, Delphine,
you knock that off.

The quicker you settle in,
the better it's gonna be for all of us.

Come on, take my hand.

Come on, Celeste. Come on.

Ah, now this is your room.

Come on, Madeline. Let's go.

Okay. Live it up.

I saw them, monsieur.
They are charming.

What are you doing here again for?
I mean, uh...

They are your family, monsieur,
but why did you not tell me?

Well, I wanted to keep it a secret.

Why? Is it something to be ashamed of?

No, no, no. It's just that, uh...

Let me see them, monsieur, please.

Easy!

They're not used to strangers.
Take it easy.

They are beautiful.

Where did you get them?

HANK: I picked them up in Marseilles.

Bought 'em from the U.S. Air Force.

The Air Force?

Uh huh. Yeah.
They used to be astro-chimps.

I was their trainer.

May I, monsieur?

I guess so.

Celeste seems to like you.

Celeste?

Yeah, I gave them all French names
since they'll be living here.

That's Delphine, the large one,
and Madeline and Monique.

All girls?

Females are more
cooperative than males.

Higher sense of responsibility.

Oh, naturally, monsieur.
It has always been so.

Uh-huh.

But don't get any wrong ideas.

They may be girls, but they're rugged.

For space flight, they had to be.

Space flight? You mean, these poor
little things were sent up in rockets?

Don't get excited. They lost their jobs
before they ever made it.

The Air Force is
sending up men nowadays.

I'm happy for that.

You will keep them here, monsieur?

Yeah. That's the idea.

May I help you with them?

Oh, no, No.

Thanks. We'll do fine.

Please, monsieur.
I will be like a mother to them.

You'd just spoil 'em.

Look. You see how
she takes to me already?

Give 'em too much affection,
they'll walk all over you.

But no one ever has
too much love, monsieur.

Well, that's true.

Wait a minute, now look, I have put a lot
of time and effort into their education.

I'm not about to goof it up.

But monsieur, I would
make them the cutest little outfits...

Now, that is exactly
the kind of help I don't want.

These are not dolls you play with.
They're chimpanzees.

As such, they have dignity
and they have rights.

I'm not about to let somebody come in
and turn them into clowns,

or glamour girls, or anything except
plain, simple, hard working chimps,

you understand?

- Oui, monsieur.
- All right.

But, I was just thinking, you know,
the sun is very hot,

and if they had little bonnets

when I take them walking in the village...

Stop right there.

The village is absolutely
out of bounds. Absolutely.

But why?

Come here.

- Can you keep a secret?
- Oh, but of course.

All right, you're the only one
who knows about 'em.

- I am?
- Yeah, yeah.

So I'm sort of in your power.

You are what?

Uh, never mind. Look...

I am going to teach these monkeys
how to pick olives.

- To pick olives?
- Yes.

- How clever, monsieur.
- Yeah, yeah.

Now look, if I let you
help me with the training,

will you promise not to tell anybody?

- Oh, yes. I will not tell a soul.
- Okay.

But why must I not tell a soul?

Well, I don't want kids
and sightseers coming up here

and fouling up discipline and training.
You understand?

Oui, monsieur.

All right. Now don't even
tell your own family.

Not even Mama will I tell.

Okay.

It's just yours and mine... Our secret.

You and me, huh?

I'd better be going now.

Oh, monsieur,
I've started working again,

at the perfume factory, in Grasse.

So I can only come to help you
in the evenings, and on weekends.

Will that be all right?

Only evenings... It'll be fine, yes.

Au revoir, monsieur.

Au revoir. And remember. Shh.

Shh.

Merci beaucoup, monsieur.

You're welcome.

Monsieur Terradouren.

That is the second stalk of bananas
the American has bought this week.

Oui.

What does he do with
all those bananas?

What does he do?
He eats them. What else?

For one man, that is a lot of fruit.

Perhaps he is a vegetarian.

Whatever he is, it is good for business.

A strange man, huh?

Oui. Even for an American.

You're certain he's married?

Ah, I did not say that.

But you did speak of a room for children.

I see. You are worried about Maria.

Yes. She's young and innocent.

Her head could be turned
by this foreigner.

[LAUGHS]

Something is funny?

No, no, no. I was just thinking.

A big red-blooded butcher like you,
afraid of a vegetarian.

[LAUGHS]

That is a funny thing.
That is a very, very funny thing.

[LAUGHS]

Maria. Hey, come on. Time's a wastin'.

Here we are.

Oh, no.

Aren't they sweet?

No. They look ridiculous.

Maria, didn't I tell you
they were working chimps?

Oui, monsieur, but they are girls,
and they have feelings.

To a girl appearance is most important.

Especially chimpanzees.

Well, we'll just see about that.
Come on girls...

We're gonna take up the lesson
where we left off yesterday.

Keep in mind rule number one,
we do not eat the olives.

Okay, Monique, you're first.

Okay. Pick 'em up.

Good.

Nice going, Monique,
you haven't forgotten a thing,

in spite of the silly work clothes.

Here, Monique.
This is for being a good girl.

Okay, Celeste, you're next.

- [CELESTE SQUEALS]
- Celeste!

Celeste, come back here!

[SHOUTING INAUDIBLY]

Celeste, come down here.

[CELESTE CHATTERING]

Celeste, I'm getting upset.

[SCREECHING]

Come here.

Watch it, Hank. Be careful.

Celeste!

[BRANCH CRACKING]

Oh, no.

[GASPS] Hank!

Hank, cheri. Cheri. You're... You're hurt.

Hank. Hank. Look at me. Say something.

[GROANING]

You and your fancy clothes.

Come on,
that's gonna get you nowhere, Celeste.

Come on, back to work.

[GRUNTS]

Oh, no. Give me those bananas.

You've got to work for these, you know.

Come on. Come on, you too.

Pick up the olives.

Hello, Father.

Marvelous, Monsieur Dussard.
Simply marvelous.

Now I know what is meant
by "American enterprise."

Do you realize they could revolutionize
the entire olive industry?

Father...

Can you not see these little ladies
in every orchard in Provence?

Ha! What a vision!

Look, Father...

This could be the beginning
of a great moral regeneration.

Come here, my busy little friend.

Permit me the honor
of shaking your hand.

[CHUCKLING]

Ah, look, Father. I know how you feel,

but I'm gonna have to
ask you to keep this quiet.

Oh, of course. You anticipate
a corner on the olive market. Eh?

No, no. Look, Father.
You see what would happen?

Hundreds of people
would come up here.

Newspaper men, publicity.

First thing you know,
the whole world would be looking,

and it could ruin everything.

Forgive me, monsieur.

My enthusiasm is my greatest fault.
I must correct it.

I figured you'd understand.

But in time, everyone will know,
and should know, yes?

Yes. After we've got it down pat
and we're in business, fine.

I will keep it to myself, monsieur.
My word.

Au revoir, busy ones.

I will be looking forward to your success.

[CHUCKLES]

This is like dressing a centipede.

There we go. Come on. Come to bed.

Lie down.

You didn't have to
go to all this expense, you know.

It was no expense, monsieur.

These are things
my sisters have outgrown.

Yeah. well, I appreciate all the trouble,
but I doubt if they do.

MARIA: You do not think
they are happy?

HANK: Well, look at 'em.
Now, do you think they are?

Monsieur, if they are unhappy,
it is not because of their nightgowns.

It is because they are lonely.

Four girl monkeys and not one boy.

Boy?

Monsieur is heartless.

Maria, if you bring any kind
of a distraction in here now,

we'd never get any work out of 'em.

Work?

Money and work,
is that all you think about?

- Go to sleep!
- [CHATTERING]

- Bonsoir, monsieur.
- Don't go away angry.

I'm not angry.

Well, then stop pouting,

or whatever it is you women do
when you're not agreed with.

I don't know why monsieur
should be so upset.

After all, you men are always right.

And will you stop calling me monsieur.

The name's Hank, and I'm not upset.

If you do not want my advice,

you may be honest and tell me so.

Hey, don't twist things around that way.

Think it over, monsieur.

Think what over?

Bonsoir, monsieur.

Hank!

MARCEL: Right here,
do you believe me?

In our own community,
an example of capitalist oppression

that would be unbelievable

had not our secretary-treasurer
seen it with his own two eyes.

The American, madames et monsieurs,

who now occupies
Mas-de-la-Pousoraco,

has imported sl*ves
to undermine the economy of our village.

Henri Dussard has brought in monkeys
and trained them to pick olives.

Monsieur Maindou?

Did you say monkeys,
Monsieur Cartucci?

Monkeys!

Chimpanzees, to be exact,
Monsieur Maindou.

You mean to say
these animals pick olives?

They do!

That is very clever.

- [PEOPLE CHUCKLING]
- It is criminal!

It is also very funny.

[LAUGHING LOUDLY]

This is not a laughing matter.

These monkeys are about
to rob you of your jobs,

take the bread out of your mouth,
and you laugh.

You are a maker of furniture,
Monsieur Maindou.

How would you like to see monkeys

in your workshop
making tables and chairs?

That would be something, monsieur.

[LAUGHS] But I doubt
if they could do the fine work.

[ALL LAUGHING]

This is nothing to be made light of.

We are confronted
with creeping capitalism.

I propose we stop it here and now,
once and for all.

Do I hear any suggestions?

So once again you leave
the thinking to your leaders, huh?

Good. We have not let you down.

Our secretary will present
a plan of action.

Resolve...

That we alert the village against
the Yankee imperialist

by a series of slogans.

I second the motion.

All in favor say "aye."
All against say "nay."

Carried unanimously.

Next order of business,
Monsieur Secretary.

We will need slogan painters.

Who will volunteer?

I would consider it an honor,
Monsieur Secretary.

You see what the godless
propagandists have done.

It's all over town. The same thing.

Who told them about my monkeys?

Who knows?
Their spies are everywhere.

Well, why do they pick on me?

Well, they've run out of causes.

Causes?

Without causes,
they have no need for slogans.

Without slogans,
they fade away and they are forgotten.

You and your monkeys
came just in time.

Yeah, well, who's the guy
I'd like to punch in the nose?

Oh, it's no secret that our butcher
is the local leader.

Oh.

Oh, but he is a formidable man.

Stay out of this. This is my fight.

No, no, no. I will come with you.

Ah, the Yankee imperialist.

Are you responsible
for those slogans all over town?

The result of public indignity.

A spontaneous group action.

Naturally, I played my part.

What have you got
against chimpanzees?

I have nothing against chimpanzees.

I love chimpanzees.

But not when you
train them to pick olives.

Where did you hear that?

We are intelligent and resourceful.

If there is injustice... [SNIFFS]

We smell it out.

So go back to America
and take your sl*ve labor with you.

sl*ve...

This guy's out of his mind!

Listen, Marcel,
since the beginning of time,

man has been using animals
to ease his burden.

Yeah, that's right. Like the horse
and the chicken and the cow.

How about that?

Man has trained those animals
for tasks he cannot do himself.

Can you pull a wagon, or give milk?

Can you lay an egg?

Yeah, well, I...

The Bible says God
created the animals for...

Don't try to confuse us with theology.

When you train monkeys to do
a man's work you create unemployment.

What will become of us
when your monkey army takes over?

- Answer me that!
- Monkey...

By that time,
you'll be hanging in the deep freeze

and pigs'll be running this butcher shop.

That's a stupid statement.

No more stupid than saying we make
a horse pull a cart because a man can't.

That's not stupid, that's a fact!

A-ha! Then a horse
is putting six men out of work,

because six men could
very easily pull a wagon. Ha ha.

There you are!

Now he wants to harness men to carts.

What?

You have given us
a challenge, Dussard.

A challenge we cannot ignore.

Monsieur.

Oh! Monsieur.

Is something wrong?

"Is something wrong," she says.
Where are your eyes?

It's all over the village.

Everybody knows about his monkeys.

- Oh, and you think I told?
- Who else?

If Father didn't, than who else?
No one else knew the secret.

But I did not tell anyone.

Not even your butcher boyfriend, huh?

Why do you say that?

Oh, don't give me
the sweet and innocent.

I saw you the first day I got to this town.

You were... You were
in there kissing him.

- It is not true.
- I saw it.

I mean, you do not understand.

What's to understand?
And who cares, anyway?

That's right. Who cares?

Who could possibly care
about such a stupid man like you?

I don't want to see you again.

You or your monkeys, ever.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

[ENGINE STARTS]

[HONKS HORN]

I did not think you were the kind
to run from a fight.

I'm not running.

- No?
- No.

I'm gonna go home, collect my thoughts
and find out where I stand.

You stand in the dead center
of local politics, like a target.

What you need is
the advice of an expert.

You?

Oh, I am an amateur.

No. I suggest that we ally our forces
and consult a professional.

Monsieur Gaston Lou,
the mayor of St. Prioust.

Let's go.

But could you not, Monsieur le Maire,

officially have these
slogans painted out?

If I do that they will accuse me of
destroying the freedom of the press.

I was elected, you see,
by all shades of opinion.

And I respect the right
of everyone to his own beliefs.

Well, I appreciate your point, Mr. Mayor,

but involving my chimps
in politics is going too far.

But what of the law that forbids
the defacing of public property?

I would rather not invoke it, Father.

But as one who has faith
in the democratic processes,

I believe that every man
has the right to express his opinions

in the same way as his opponent.

Even you, monsieur.

Must I speak any plainer?

Mr. Mayor, you are a very smart man.

A modern Solomon.

Common sense, nothing more.

Let's go, Father. A pleasure, Mr. Mayor.

The same, Monsieur Dussard.

Monsieur le Maire.

When do we march?

How about daybreak tomorrow?

Of course.

The dawn attack has always been
in the grand military tradition.

Right.

- The classic tactic of surprise.
- Uh-huh.

Until dawn then, au revoir.

Au revoir.

[BELLS RINGING]

[CHATTERING]

[GRUNTING]

[PEOPLE LAUGHING]

Whose side are you on,
Monsieur Cartucci?

[SPLASHING]

[CROWD LAUGHING]

[MONKEY GRUNTING]

EMILE: Marcel!

Stop playing with monkeys and help me!

[BOTH GRUNT]

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

[FESTIVAL MUSIC PLAYING]

Thank you.

- Bonjour, Monsieur Dussard.
- Bonjour, Sidoni.

[MUSIC ENDS]

MAYOR: Madames,
mademoiselles, monsieurs.

The festival of St. Prioust
has now begun.

There will be music, singing, dancing,
games, and refreshments.

And as we do every year,

we begin our entertainment
with folk songs

by Father Sylvain and his choristers.

We will begin with my favorite song

from which I have
prepared English words

for our new American neighbor,
Monsieur Henri Dussard.

Joie, joie, joie de vivre
Money cannot buy

Joy, joy
The joy of living

Doesn't cost a sou

[VOCALIZING]

Long long long ago
I heard my father singing

Singing so happily
while harvesting the hay

How large is this our galaxy

How small a speck our earth

And how much smaller mortal we

Our troubles they must trivial be

Long years have come and gone

And yet this song keeps ringing

Bringing my heart away
from worry and dismay

How large is this our galaxy

How small a speck our earth

And how much smaller mortal we

Our troubles they must trivial be

Joie, joie, joie de vivre
Money cannot buy

Joy, joy
The joy of living

Doesn't cost a sou

No, no, no
It doesn't cost a sou

So when your heart is heavy

And your cares are many

Just try to count the stars

And poof!
Your cares are few

[VOCALIZING]

Our troubles they must trivial be

Joie, joie, joie de vivre
Money cannot buy

Joy, joy
The joy of living

Doesn't cost a sou

So when your heart is heavy

And your cares are many

Just try to count the stars

And poof!
Your cares are few

How large is this our galaxy

How small a speck our earth

And how much smaller mortal we

Our troubles they must trivial be

How large is this our galaxy

How small a speck our earth

And how much smaller mortal we

Our troubles they must trivial be

How large is this our galaxy

How small a speck our earth

And how much smaller mortal we

Our troubles

They must trivial

Be

[CHOIR SINGING IN FRENCH]

Give me another one.

[CHUCKLING]

Thank you.

Uh, Monsieur Dussard?

What?

Permit me to introduce myself.

Piastillio, the olive miller.

Oh, hi. Pleased to meet you.

Uh, may I buy you a glass of wine?

No, no. Thanks.

Er...

I understand you expect
a good year in olives, monsieur?

Yeah. Yeah, I'll do okay.

You seem confident of your monkeys.

I am.

But you've solved
only half your problem.

Now you must sell your olives.

Oh. Oh, I see.

You want to talk a deal?

I already have a very tempting offer.

Ten francs a measure for all olives.

Well, that sounds fair. Count me in.

Uh, you did not let me finish, monsieur.

There is a condition.

This price has been offered
to me by leaders of...

A certain political party.

Provided I do not buy olives
picked by monkeys.

Would you say that again?

If I buy monkey-picked
olives at any price,

I will lose this deal.

Politics is something I usually avoid,
monsieur, but...

After all, business is business.

Well, those dirty...

All right, you won't deal with me,
I'll go someplace else.

Spare yourself the trouble, monsieur.

We millers have
a gentlemen's agreement

not to raid the district of another.

You mean I'm bucking a monopoly?

I am sorry, monsieur.

But you cannot fight the system.

Take my advice. Sell out!

Go back to America.

Au revoir, monsieur.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

Suppose I, uh...

Give you my olives

for five francs a measure.

How many trees?

Four-hundred and eighty.

Four-hundred and eighty trees
against several thousand?

Even at five that is absurd.

Okay...

Okay. But suppose I guarantee
to deliver every olive in the district...

Including those owned by politicians...

Monsieur, if you can
perform this miracle,

with or without monkeys,
you have a deal.

Don't go away!

[CHILDREN SINGING IN FRENCH]

Are you sure this will work?

Father, have you no faith
in human greed?

Alas, my friend,

- all too much!
- Then announce the good news!

Madames, monsieurs...

I have an important announcement
to make to all resident

owners of olive trees.

A business proposition

from our American friend,

Henri Dussard.

His four chimpanzees,

who can pick better than


[ALL MURMURING]

Are at the disposal, free of charge,

of all who want their crops harvested.

The olives will be purchased

by Monsieur Piastillio.

At five francs a measure.

What?

SYLVAIN: All who wish to
take advantage of this offer

may sign up at the rectory.

This is a trick! It's impossible.

Oh, if Monsieur Dussard
says it can be done...

Then I believe him.

Five francs a measure is nothing.
I can get you 10!

Including the cost of labor?

Labor comes to five!
That still leaves you a net profit of five!

Labor comes to eight, my friend.

And it is only a profit of two francs.

Unless, of course, you choose to pick

your olives yourselves.

Now... Now... What do you say?

You've heard both offers.

Anyone would be an idiot
to turn down such a deal.

I have 250 trees
and I will go with Dussard.

Oui, oui! And I have 100 trees!

Gregoire. Tartarin. Maindou.

- It worked!
- Thank you, Father.

Oh, good.

Are you blind to reason? Do you think
you'll see even one franc of profit?

This is a fraud!

A shameless exploitation!

As your chairman I forbid you
to use monkey labor!

Listen to your leaders
before it is too late!

Before the American robs you
of everything you own.

Relax.

Uh, everything's going to be okay.

Merci, monsieur. Merci.

So long.

Hello, monsieur.

Oh, hi.

That was a wonderful thing to do,
monsieur.

Mmm?

Offering your monkeys to pick olives.

Oh. Oh, yeah! That.

It was a very patriotic thing, monsieur.

Yeah, well, I lost my head.

You know, I could have probably
rented those monkeys out

and made a small fortune.

That's just what I mean.

It was a most unselfish gesture.

How are the monkeys?

Oh, fine. Fine.

You know, I've missed them.

Well they've, uh, missed you, too.

Did you leave them home alone?

Yeah, the door's locked.

Prowlers can't get in.
They can't get out.

Well, I'm sure monsieur knows best.

Hank.

Monsieur Hank.

[UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

Would you not like to dance?

Yeah, why not.

[SLOW DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

Bonsoir, Maria.

Bonsoir, Henri.

- Bonsoir, Father.
- Enjoy yourself.

- It's past my bedtime, now.
- Sleep well.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Bonsoir, Marcel.

- Where have you been?
- To Cannes.

The world falls apart

and you are enjoying yourself
in the playground of the rich.

I was in Cannes for business, Marcel.

Now calm yourself
and tell me what's wrong.

Piastillio betrayed us.

He made a deal with the monkeys.

Ah, then it was too bad that I was away!

Even you couldn't have prevailed
against five francs a measure.

Now, now, my friend.
All is not yet lost.

While you were letting
things get out of hand,

I was making certain arrangements.

Certain legal arrangements
that will pluck this American

from our beloved soil from the roots

and destroy him forever.

Is something wrong?

My lights are on.

Could've sworn I turned them off.

Let's go see the monkeys.

Oh, no, no. It's too late.

Hey, come back here!

- Where are you going?
- To see the monkeys!

Oh, no you're not!

Look, your mother will be worried,
it's after midnight.

Mama is asleep,
so how can she worry? Come on.

No!

Please?

I said no!

Why did you kiss me?

When a man kisses a woman,

does it not mean something?

Yeah.

I'm a man and you're a woman.

Is that all it means to you?

Oh,

that.

You do not like me?

That's my trouble, Maria.

I like you too much.

Hank, cheri!

Now hold on... Hold on.

I frighten you, yes?

Yes, in a way you do.

Now, wait. Maria, wait a minute.

Now, wait, wait. Listen to me.

We can't go running into things,

- you know?
- No!

[STAMMERING] No,
I mean this takes thought and plans.

You are so thoughtful and so intelligent.

Yeah.

Maria, a couple like us
has got to be awful darn sure.

You know,
I don't care what Father Sylvain says.

Father Sylvain?

Yeah, you know.
How he's always talking,

not good for a man to be alone,
things like that.

Well, it's just not for me right now.

You understand, don't you, Maria?

I'm trying to, monsieur.

Look, Maria, you're a beautiful girl.

You're fun to be with...

Marriage is just not for me. Not...

Right now.

That's very considerate of you
to be so honest with me, monsieur.

Well, I think it's only fair, that, uh...

A guy lets a know where she stands...
I mean where he stands.

Forgive me if I've been
forcing myself upon you.

- Maria!
- Bonsoir, monsieur.

Look, wait a minute.
I didn't mean to say anything wrong.

It's of no importance.

Look, Maria, why is it that we end up
this way all of the time?

Why do you always have to talk
so much and be so... Honest?

Maria!

Hello.

You are Henri Dussard?

Yeah.

I am Yolande Angelli, your cousin.

My cousin?

Oui, monsieur.

There is no one else, monsieur, only me.

Oh...

Would you mind if I join you?

Please.

You will need it.

- I will?
- I'm going to live here with you.

[GLASS BREAKING]

Your Uncle Antan
was also my Uncle Antan.

So, half of this property is mine.

What did you say your name was?

Yolande Angelli.

I don't remember
any Angelli's in the family.

Nevertheless I am your cousin,

on your mother's side.

And the law of France says that, uh...

Read it for yourself, monsieur.

Oh, Emile Paraulis, huh?

- You know him?
- Yes, slightly.

This his doing?

You might say that.

As a friend,
he's looking out for my interests.

- Oh.
- [YAWNS] Where do I sleep?

Sleep?

Yes, where is my room?

Uh, take my bedroom.

Where will you sleep?

I'm not sleepy.

I mean I'm going to
stay out here and think.

I do not wish to put monsieur out.

Perhaps I could use that room
off the kitchen.

No! I mean, no, no, you can't use
that room, it's an old store room.

Wouldn't do at all.

You are lying, monsieur.

What?

Something is in there.

That's what I said. It's a store room.

A store room for what?

Well for... Things, what else?

I've heard noises.

- No.
- People moving around, whispering.

- Go on.
- Are those your sl*ves?

My sl*ves?

Monsieur Paraulis said you were
keeping sl*ves like animals,

or animals like sl*ves, or something.

As your cousin,
I have a right to know.

Now look, you're all mixed up.
I do not keep sl*ves!

You are not living here alone, monsieur.

Be honest with me.
Who is locked up in there?

There is nobody locked up in there!

We're the only two people
in the house, you and me.

Don't talk to me about honesty.

I'm honest to a fault.

I lose all my friends that way.

Now shut up and go to bed.

Bonsoir, monsieur.

Oh, boy.

[DOOR OPENS]

Hank...

I'm sorry.
I had no right to lose my temper.

Father Sylvain says it's not good
to let the sun go down upon your...

[DOOR OPENS]

Your anger.

Who is this?

Um... This is my neighbor.

Neighbor, Maria, meet, uh... My cousin.

Look, I know what you're thinking
and you're wrong!

You don't have to explain it to me,
monsieur. I do not care.

- Tell her.
- YOLANDE: Tell her what?

Tell her who you are
and what you're doing here.

Oh, that!

Dry your tears, cherie.

As cousin, half of this property is mine!

So, here I am!

Is it true?

Well, you heard her,
it's all spelled out right here.

I am sorry about this, cherie,
but of course

it is always better
to know the truth before marriage.

Is it not so?

- I'll walk you home.
- You needn't bother.

Now let's not start that again,
I'm walking you home.

Here, hold this.

Maria...

Maria!

Wait a minute. I need your help.

Why don't you ask
your cousin to help you?

Now, you listen to me.

I didn't invite her here.

She was sent by Paraulis.

Don't you see it's another scheme
to stop my monkeys?

- But then she's not your cousin.
- I don't know who she is.

Believe me.

I believe you, Hank.

Good.

Right now I'm worried
about the monkeys.

The olives are ripe,
the big wind's due any day...

If Paraulis can legally tie up my estate,

I may never get anybody's olives
picked, including my own.

It could wipe me out.

Does she know about the monkeys?

No, I don't think so.

Then we better get them out of
the house before she does see them!

Yeah, I know.
The problem is where to keep them.

We have a big, empty barn.

That's good.

No, wait a minute!

[WHISPERING] Let's wait
til she's asleep, come here.

[SHUSHING]

Hank...

[CHITTERING]

Come on.

[GASPS]

Oh, wait a moment,
I will light the lantern.

At ease.

Come on.

Hey, come back here!

Oh, let them play.

Enjoy their new home.

[SCREECHING]

[CLUCKING]

HANK: Madeline, leave those
chickens... Madeline!

- [HOWLING]
- [GROANING]

Are you sure...

Are you sure your mother won't
mind us keeping them here?

Oh, but of course not.
Mama loves animals.

Yeah, uh-huh. I'm glad to hear that.

[CHITTERING]

Oh, God!

Okay. That does it! Everybody up
in the hay loft and stay put!

Come on!

Come on. Come on.

All right. You too, Celeste. Go on.

All right, settle down up
there and go to sleep!

You see they like it.

They will be happy here.

Yeah, but first we've got to get rid
of these lethal weapons.

Oh, Maria...

I appreciate you doing this.

Anything to save
the monkeys, monsieur.

Hank.

Hank.

[CHITTERING]

[LAUGHING]

What in...

Bonjour, mademoiselle.

Bonjour, looking for Dussard?

- Oui.
- He left before I got up.

Shall I tell him you called?

No, merci. It's of no importance.

Cherie, come in.

Please, I would like to talk to you.

All right, but I cannot stay long.

Please. Would you like some coffee?

No, merci.

You are the fiance of
Monsieur Dussard, yes?

I am his fiance, no.

Oh. Then you can speak frankly.

What kind of man is this Dussard?

What kind of man?

Is there not something
strange about him?

He is a bachelor and he lives by himself.

That is strange?

He may be a bachelor, cherie,
but he does not live by himself.

No?

What of the room with
the bars in the window?

Oh, that...

That is not for me to say.

It is bad?

Bad, mademoiselle?

I heard sounds last night.

Like whispering and thumping
and the patter of feet...

I got up to look... Poof! Nothing!

So?

Is this place haunted?

Do you believe in ghosts?

Certainly not.

But... Why do you ask?

Mmm-hmm...

What's this "Mmm-hmm?"

You do not know
about your uncle Antan?

What about him?

But you are family,
you must have heard!

We were never a very close family.

What is it I should know?

Well... You will promise
not to tell who told you?

I will swear to it.

[WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY]

Monsieur Paraulis
has secured very clever legal advice.

All I know is that
if she gets half of my property,

I might as well quit right now.

No, no, no, Henri.
Let us not be hasty.

After all, you still have your monkeys.

Well, not according to this... I don't.

She gets half of everything!

- Is it true?
- Oui, mon pere.

Unless the monsieur can prove
he did not use inherited property

with which to buy his monkeys.
Can you, monsieur?

No, of course I can't.
That's exactly how I bought 'em.

I mortgaged the property.

This is possibly a complete fraud.

I suggest you retain a lawyer and fight it.

And pay him with what?
Half a failing farm?

Mr. Mayor, it's been nice knowing you.

Father...

No, you're not leaving.

Yup. I don't belong here.

That is not true!

You cannot leave us now.

Sorry, Father.

Henri, wait. Henri. Henri!

Henri, you...

You should reconsider.

Father, I know when I'm beat.

Oh, Maria. I'm glad you've come.

Come, do something, Maria.

Henri's leaving us!

- Leaving?
- HANK: Yeah, yeah, I'm...

Getting out with my monkeys
while there's still time.

We're going to join the circus
and see the world.

I tried to reason with him,
but it's of no use.

You can't leave us now!

Maria...

I...

I'll drop by for the monkeys.

[ENGINE STARTING]

[HORN HONKING]

Now, now, child...

If it is God's will
then we must resign to it.

Is it really true
that whatever happens is God's will?

Most certainly.

Then, uh...

If I make something happen,

uh, that is the way God
must have willed it to be, yes?

Yes. Well, I mean to say...

Et voilà!

Monsieur, voilà.

[YAWNING]

Hello, cousin?

Oh, no!

[SIGHS]

Yeah?

Oh! You are here, cousin?

I'm happy you have returned.

When I am here alone without you
I am frightened!

- You're gassed.
- Gassed?

Stoned. Potted.

You have been drinking.

I have been fighting
evil spirits with spirits.

The traditional weapon,
they tell me, is holy water.

Oui, for saints, perhaps.

But your poor cousin is no saint.

I don't doubt it for a minute.

So I must fight spirits with spirits.

Will you join me in battle, cheri?

No thanks.

You are going someplace?

Yup. It's all yours!

This magnificent mansion,
those profitable olives

and these fertile fields. All yours!

You are leaving me?

I am leaving you.

Oh, monsieur!

Monsieur!

Please, do not leave me!

Oh, come back, my cousin!
You're all I have!

Oh, but, please...
Do not leave me here alone!

I'm frightened!

Lock your doors and windows
and count your blessings.

But that does not help, monsieur.

Monsieur, listen to me!

The ghosts are here, inside the house.
Not outside.

The ghosts?

Oui. The four dead wives
of Uncle Antan.

They are haunting this place.

Four wives?

Oui!

No kidding.
Uncle Antan had four wives?

- Have you not heard?
- No!

You do not know why there's that
little room with bars on the window?

Oh... Uh, no. Why is that little room
with bars on the windows?

That's where Uncle Antan
tortured his poor little wives

before he m*rder*d them
and threw them down the well.

Good heavens!

I know this to be true,
monsieur, because

I heard them last night.

No!

Oui, I heard them moaning and crying

and clawing at the walls! It was terrible.

My, my, my, my, my...

Hey!

[GROANS]

[HENS CLUCKING]

Celeste?

Monique! Hey, girls!

Delphine?

Monsieur Hank!

Oh, Mrs. Risereau.

Say, where are my chimps?

Maria took them for a walk, monsieur.

For a walk?

This time of night?
Where'd she go?

She did not say, monsieur.

Would you care to wait inside?

What? Oh, no. No.

Thank you, Mrs. Risereau. I think
I'll look around, see if I can find her.

[INAUDIBLE LAUGHTER]

[YOLANDE LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

[MONKEYS HOOTING]

[SCREAMS]

[SCREECHING]

[ALL SHOUTING]

[SCREECHING]

What's going on?

Your cousin just left.

Well, I saw her... I didn't know...

What did you do to her?

I did nothing to her.

I just brought the monkeys here,
that is all.

It is their home. They have as much
right to be here as she does.

Is it not so?

You know something?

Oui, monsieur?

- Hank.
- Yes, Hank?

You're a devil!

Yes, Hank.

A shrewd, cunning, insidious,
but very beautiful, devil.

Hank...

Maria...

Yes?

Come here.

[SIGHS]

Father, help me!

What is it? What's wrong?

I have sinned.
The devils have come to claim me.

I have much to confess.
Help me, please!

Come. Come now, my child.

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

Bonjour, Father.

Bonjour, Henri.

- Did you bring it?
- Yes, yes. I've got it right here.

Say, I hope you don't mind. I kind of hate
to leave them alone anymore.

Not at all. Come with me.

This is the moment I've been waiting for.

Two of my usuals, Monsieur Fontanino.

A nice and refreshing aperitif.

You will like it.

How does it go with you, Marcel?

It goes well with me, priest.

And you?

Very well, thank you.

Very well indeed.

Uh, Monsieur Paraulis
is not here today?

He will be along.

I propose a toast, Marcel.

To all honest men
everywhere in the world!

Do you not agree?

To all honest men.

However, Marcel, if I do not always
agree with what you believe,

I do respect your belief.

Provided it is honest. Do you follow?

Do you think of yourself
as an honest man, priest?

I pray daily for the virtue of honesty.

Do you?

Hmm... I do not pray.

But you are honest?

I try to be.

Did you know that Yolande Angelli,

the alleged cousin of Monsieur Dussard,

has admitted to me
that she is an imposter?

She has asked me
to make a public apology

to the entire village

for conspiring with Monsieur Paraulis

to rob Monsieur Dussard of his property.

You lie!

You dare to call me a liar
before these witnesses?

When you are guilty of fraud,
theft and bribery?

That's not true!

Paraulis told me that girl
had a legitimate claim.

I'm an honest man.

I'm not ashamed of what I believe.

And I'm not a liar, or a thief!

Then you are a fool, Marcel.

A stupid tool,

for a sly and cunning man.

Talk is cheap. Where is your proof?

Show him the proof, Henri.

The olive miller gave this to me.

It's a contract, drawn up by Paraulis...

In it, he states the terms
and conditions whereby he, Paraulis,

will deliver olives picked by monkeys.

MAINDOU: Your monkeys, monsieur?

My monkeys.
After he got legal title to them.

The fraud is now obvious, of course.

Paraulis never told me this!

Speaking of the devil,
I see he's about to join us.

You might ask him to
explain these things to you, Marcel.

Bonjour, Marcel.

What a beautiful day
for this time of the year.

Unusual for this season, isn't it?

Almost like the calm before the storm.

[GROANING]

But, Marcel, what on the earth are you...

Please, monsieur! My produce!

[GROANING]

Idiot!

Where are you going, imbecile?

Imbecile?

Maindou, you stupid idiot!

[SCREAMS]

[SHOUTING]

My fruit!

[SHOUTING]

Go and fight outside! Go on, out!

[MONKEYS CHATTERING]

The monkeys!

Oh, this is getting out of hand!

My fruits and my vegetables!

GROCER: My fruit!

My fruit!

Oh, my fruit! My vegetables!

Oh, my fruit!

Stop!

That's one.

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

Stop this disgraceful behavior!

Two.

Stop it! Get out of here!

No fighting here,
you will break something!

Come here, Delphine.

Coward! Villain!
Stand up and fight like a man!

Madeline, put that down!

Ooh! Bet that hurt.

[SCREECHING]

Three.

Four!

[SCREECHING]

Oh, no!

Fellow citizens of France...

Bravo, Monsieur le Maire. Bravo.

Fellow Frenchmen...

Oh, my window!

[GROANING]

[DOGS BARKING]

[GASPS] My meat!

[GROWLING]

No, Father. No!

Spare me! Have mercy!

I have seen the light!

First things first.
Wait for me in the house of the Lord.

Is this the way you settle a dispute?

This olive branch

is a symbol of peace.

Must I break your head with it

to make you act like Christians?

[WIND BLOWING]

Your hat, Father.

The mistral!

Henri!

Henri!

- What?
- The olives will be falling!

It's time to pick olives!

ALL: [CHANTING] We want monkeys!

We want monkeys!

We want monkeys!

We want monkeys!

We want monkeys!

We want monkeys!

[CROWD APPLAUDING]

HANK: All right, folks, let them through.

Give them room.

Let's go, Delphine.

Come on, Celeste.

That's it.

SYLVAIN: Henri!

May the good Lord
bless your venture, Henri.

Thank you, Father.

Say, I've been looking for Maria.
Do you know where she is?

Oh, she left for Grasse

early this morning.
A kind of errand or something.

This is the big day.
She was looking forward to it.

Well, the olives won't wait.
I've got to get to work.

Coming through, please.
Coming through.

Okay, girls. Go to work.

That a girl, Celeste.

Hank, darling!

You're just in time, look!

- I have a surprise for you.
- It'll have to wait.

Look!

Oh, no!

Isn't he marvelous?

The girls in the perfume factory
helped me raise the money to buy him.

Look, they're happy already.

They're slap-happy!

[HOOTING]

[ALL LAUGHING]

Get back to work.
Madeline, pick the olives!

Celeste. The olives, pick them up.

Delphine, come here.
Pick up the olives.

Get him out of here.

But, Hank!

Maria, get him behind the house.
First the work, then the amenities, okay?

Okay, okay.

Rene, will you please
take the truck around the back?

Go, go!

[ALL LAUGHING]

Monique. Celeste. Come back!

[ALL GROANING]

Who among you thinks of himself
as a good neighbor?

[MURMURING]

If you do, then consider, for a moment,

your neighbor, the American.

He staked his fortune and his reputation

on this venture and lost,

through no fault of his own.

Have you already forgotten?

He offered to share his monkeys
with you free of charge.

And is this the way
you repay a kindness?

With jeers and scornful laughter?

I say, the least we can do
for this good neighbor...

Is help him harvest his olive crop.

Right?

- ALL: Right!
- Come on now!

Father? Father, thank you.

Oh, don't thank me.
Thank God and his obvious lessons.

Man does not live by bread alone.

Or by the labor of monkeys.

This year you are lucky, yes?

But what about the future?

[SINGING IN FRENCH]

Maria?

Oui?

[CLEARS THROAT]

Like he said, what about the future?

Oui, Hank. What about it?

Look, there's something
I want to ask you.

- Oui...
- Something I put off long enough.

Oui!

Hey, did you hear what I said?

Oui, darling.
But there's no time to talk about it now.

We must pick our olives.

"Our olives?"

[SINGING CONTINUES]