Glitterball, The (1977)

[bunniefuu]

Control, control, I have something.

Bearing 065 from you.

Range 250 miles.

Turning onto bearing 270.

Turning onto bearing 290.

He's pretty erratic and very fast.

Strike operations, this is Flashlight.

Unidentified intruder, Mike,
Kilo, Quebec, Hotel, 2515.

No response to interrogation,
possible hostile.

Blue Boy, this is
Flashlight, how do you read?

Clear, we're clear.

Steer 030 Blue Boy, 030.

Read you, Flashlight, 030.

Hello Blue
Boy, can you see him?

Negative contact, Flashlight.

Negative contact.

Lost the last half of
your transmission, Blue Boy.

Say again, Blue Boy, say again.

Repeat, negative contact.

He's changing course, right 90 degrees.

That's impossible.

Blue Boy, you must see him now.

There's nothing up here, Flashlight,

absolutely nothing,
recheck your instruments.

-What the heck's going on?

Control, I've lost him.

He just disappeared off my screen.

We're checking our equipment, Blue Boy.

You've been chasing
something that wasn't there.

What's that then, Sarge, Martians?

Yeah, we've been invaded.

Gremlins in the works.

Alright, Corporal, let's
recheck the equipment

and start a report.

This would have to happen
on the day I move house.

No answer.

Right, Corporal,

let's find that gremlin.

Max.

Oh, I'm exhausted.

Ta, I think this should be the last load.

Oh, do you think we'll
be here for a while, Mum?

Moving's such a drag.

Now Max, you know it's not up to us.

Look, hold on a minute, will you?

Could you open the door,
my arms are dropping off?

Thanks.

Oh, put that case down
there, Max, will you?

Thanks.

I'll put the kettle on,
we'll have a cup of tea.

I wonder what's happened to your father.

Would you like a slice
of bread and jam, Mum?

No, thanks, dear, not for me.

Oh, I expect that's him now.

Hello.

Oh, well, we do need--

Mum.

Yes, that was him, he's on his way home.

Mum.

I think we've got mice.

Oh, no!

Sergeant.

Sergeant.
- Yes, Corporal?

The equipment checks out okay.

Good.

Well, that means there must
be something up there, right?

No hasty conclusions, Corporal.

Sergeant, something
faster than we've got,

that does 90 degree
turns and then vanishes.

We don't know anything for certain yet.

Sergeant.

Yes, Corporal?

What do you really think it was?

I don't know.

Hello, everybody!

Finally.

Sorry I'm late, how's it going, love?

Oh, fine, we'll be
settled in a year or two.

Hey, have we got mice?

Yeah, Dad, chewed up a loaf of bread.

Well, leave the traps, Max,
we'll set them after dinner.

Probably field mice.

How was your day, it was a long shift?

Yes, it was a long, silly day.

Any alerts?

Oh, yeah, our beautiful new
equipment started acting up,

we spent about an hour
looking for something,

that just vanished into thin air.

Maybe it was a UFO, a flying saucer?

Hm, maybe it just wasn't there at all.

It could have been a UFO.

There's always an
explanation for UFOs, Max.

A friend of mine saw
a flying saucer once.

Did he?

Are you alright, Max?
- Sure, Mum.

Why don't you use cheese, Dad?

Don't you know, Max, cake's
better than cheese for mice.

Chocolate works as well.

We'll try that on the next one.

Let's hope these mice like chocolate.

- Night, Dad!
- Goodnight, son.

Early start tomorrow,
we've got lots to do.

Night, Mum!

Bill, telephone.

Hello.

Yes, Corporal.

Morning.

Morning.

What's that?

What does it look like?

Oh, Max, will you fill this
sugar bowl for me, please,

it's empty.
- But it was full last night.

Well, it's empty now.

The sugar's in that cupboard over there.

Nothing.

Crikey, look at that!

What frequency?

How much?

Did you get any reading at all?

Strange.

Oh, no!

Mum, these mice have got in all the food!

Bill.

Bill!

Yes, I'll be there as soon as I can.

I've got to go to the
base, they've got problems.

But Bill, we're absolutely
infested with mice!

Looks more like rats, Dad.

I see what you mean, son.

And look, it's
charred around the edges.

Oh no, and it's Saturday,

I shan't be able to get
anybody in till Monday.

Well, I've got to go to the base.

Yes, but what about the rats?

Alright, Max can get something,

I'll drop him off at the supermarket,

I'll deal with it when I get back.

Come on, Max, get dressed.
- But Dad,

they're aren't any crumbs!
- Get dressed!

But Dad!

Max, are you ready?

Yeah, Mum, in a sec.

What's that?

- Now, Max!
- Coming, Mum!

Would the manager please

go to the checkout immediately, thank you.

- Hey!
- Sorry, mate,

look, just do us a favor,
just stand there and shut up,

I'm trying to hide from somebody.

Who are you hiding from?
- Shut up and stand there.

- Yeah, but who are you--
- Shut up!

Okay, thanks a lot, mate.

Wait a minute.

Why, what's the matter?

Who's that man you're so afraid of?

Afraid of, me, you're crackers.

Maybe I should call him back then.

No, don't do that, his
name's George if you must know

and don't call him Filthy.

Why should I wanna call him Filthy?

'Cause he is, he's a thief.

Hang on, I'll show you, but be quiet.

Just look at that, will you?

What's he taking that for?

Because he's a thief.

Well, aren't
we gonna tell someone?

I daredn't.

Why, why are you so afraid of him?

Well, I turned him in once

and he swore he'd get
me, if he saw me again.

What would he do to you, if he got you?

I hate to think.

Hey, you really have rats?

Well, something's been nicking our food.

It's very strange,

I found this in our cupboard this morning.

Hello, Pete.

Hello, Georgie.

Mr. Potter to you, you little squealer.

What's that you've got in your hand?

Nothing.
- Oh, well, if ain't nothing,

I can't have it, can I?

If it ain't nothing, I can't
give it back again neither.

Give that back!
- Here.

It's mine!
- Get out of it.

I'll keep this.
- Hey!

Give me my ball back, you!

Who's this then?
- What's it to you?

Well, whoever he is,

he ain't got much up here, has he, Pete?

If I was you, I'd find myself
another mate to help you home.

Help me home?

Yeah, 'cause after
I've finished with you,

you're gonna need
someone to help you home.

Let him go!
- Leave me alone.

Let him go!
- Get off me!

Right, will you kindly do it outside?

Oh, why don't you
just shove off, squire?

Do you know who I am?

Look, I couldn't care less who you are,

me and this kid got some
unfinished business.

Yes well, nevertheless, I--
- He won't let me go.

If you want to fight,
kindly do it outside.

Yeah, alright, come with me.

Do you want me to call
the security officers?

Come on, outside, outside.
- But this man's a thief,

he's been stealing.
- What?

Now look, look, what is
really going on here?

Now look, look, look,

I caught these boys nicking
stuff off your shelves.

Hey, Filthy, your coat's on fire!

Give me my ball
back, give me my ball back!

Hey, don't kick it.

Look, I told you he was a thief.

- What?
- Hey, wait for me.

Hey, you, come back!

Somebody stop him!

Doreen, stop him, stop him!

Oh, my God, how?

Sorry, love, I just
left something in the car.

Where's it got to?

Ah, it's only
a dumb ball, leave it.

There you are.

Come on, are you happy now?

Wait for me outside.

Hey, thanks a lot, mate.
- Oh, it's alright, forget it.

It was a close shave, wasn't it?

- Yeah.
- My name's Pete.

I'm Max.

You new here?

Yeah, just moved in.

You got a minute?
- Yeah.

Follow me.

Why don't you tell your
parents about Filthy Potter?

Oh well, it's only my Mum and she works.

Hey, look at that,



Have you counted them?

Fry you to a
crisp, if you touched it.

Here, have a gumball.

They rot your teeth, you know.

Have one anyway.

Oh, my jaw's aching.

Keep chewing, it'll soften up.

Wow, Lightning, you can tell by the sound.

No, it's not, it's a Phantom,

they don't use Lightnings
at the base anymore.

How do you know?

My Dad's in the Air Force.

What is he, a pilot?

No, he's in radar.
- Oh, too bad.

Where are you taking me anyway?

Someplace special.

How far is it?

We're there!

Is this your tree house?

Well, it's more
than a tree house really.

Did you build it yourself?
- Oh, I had a little help.

It looks terrific.

Here, climb up, I've
got some great stuff up there.

Fantastic, where'd
you get all this junk?

Junk, do you mind?

This is an exact replica
of the rocket ship Excel.

Didn't you see the film?

Oh yeah, great, great.

Does this telescope work?

Of course it does, it's not a toy.

It's out of focus.
- Well, turn that then.

Hey, can I see that ball bearing again?

Oh yeah.

Ta, what's so special about it anyway?

I don't know, it's a bit odd.

Want another gumball?

No, thanks, one's enough.
- Suit yourself.

Hey, Pete, come and look, quick.

Hang on a minute, I'm just
getting it into focus.

Well, hurry up.

G-E-O Potter, George Potter!

Here, let me see.

That's Filthy's bike alright.

Where is he?

Ah, there he is.
- Let me see.

Do people really trust Filthy
Potter to wash their windows?

Guess so, hey, come on, my turn.

Look at that, he's up
to his old tricks again.

Let me see.

He's nicking something from that house.

If we could get to a telephone box,

we could phone the police.
- Oh, who'd believe us?

By the time we've got to a
phone, Filthy would've gone.

It's his unlucky day,

someone's come into the room.

Let me see.

You can see why he goes in

for cleaning windows though.

There he goes.

If I don't get that shopping
home soon, my Mum will k*ll me.

Hey, where have all my gumballs gone?

Where'd you leave them?
- Right here on this tray.

Now there's only four
left, I'm sure I had more.

Maybe you've got field mice.

I can't believe it's field mice,

not up here.
- See you later.

Not up here.

What a mess!

Who could have done this?

Max!

What on Earth have you been up to?

It wasn't me!

We thought you were a burglar, son.

Seems it was only you after all, gone mad.

Sleepwalking?

Honest, Dad, I just
heard the noise myself.

You came into the
room, turned on the light

and saw nothing?

The ball!

The what, the what, Max?

It was on the floor.

Max, you're not making any sense.

I know.

Just look at the table!
- Why are you blaming me?

There's no one
else downstairs, son.

But I didn't make it.

Alright, Max, come on, come up to bed.

So,

it was you, wasn't it?

I'll show you to Dad in the morning.

- Bye now!
- Bye!

Dad, I just wanted to show--
- I'm late now.

- Oh, Dad.
- Now look, Max,

I promise you, we'll have a
good, long talk this evening,

- Okay?
- Okay.

I'm not crazy, am I?

Pete!

Pete!

Oh, it's you.

Who are you
expecting, Filthy Potter?

You can't be too careful.

Pete, I've got
to ask you something.

Well, don't
hang about, come on up.

Pete, do you think I'm crazy?

You, never, have a Coke.

Look, I think this thing's alive.

You are crazy.

Now be serious, Pete.

I am being serious, how can it be alive,

where's its mouth for a start?

Look, last night I heard
these noises in our kitchen,

when I got down there, I
saw the ball on the floor,

the kitchen was in a mess

and when I looked again,
the ball had gone.

Oh, hang on, let me get this straight,

you think that ball made the mess, right?

Yeah.

Well, there's only one way to find out.

- It's alive, I told you!
- Grab it!

Don't let it get away now!

- What is it?
- I don't know,

but it's weird, catch it!

- Where's it gone?
- It was just here, blast!

You frightened it away, now
we'll never know what it was.

- Me, it wasn't my fault!
- You and your hammer.

I don't believe it, it can write!

Whatever it is, it's not from this planet.

It says it wants help.

What do you want?

F-O-O,

food!

What kind of food do you require?

Well, I know that, anything.

Right, what have you got?

I've got a packet of
crisps, half a pasty

and a tin of custard.
- Right, we'll have them then.

No, those crisps cost me five pence!

But it's hungry.

Oh, alright then.

Well, there goes my crisps
and I was saving those too.

Hey!

Maybe it doesn't like grotty old food.

It can't be that hungry then.

The custard it likes,

got any more?

No.

You?

Yeah, I've got lots more at home.

Sarge.

Sarge, quick!

Is that it?
- Yeah.

Just like last night.

Get a bearing.

Come on, hurry up with that equipment.

- I'm losing it, Sarge.
- Get a move on, Jones.

Okay, yeah.

Max!

Max!

That's my house up there.

It's those two squealers.

I wonder if it likes sausage rolls.

Well, sausage rolls are
disgusting, aren't they?

Yeah.

I can't find it.

Maybe it'll eat something else.

Come on, Max,
let's not muck about,

it's from another planet.
- What are you doing?

I'm making sure
this operation is top secret.

Got it!

Let's go!

Put that in there.

Hey, I thought you said you had lots,

there's only two tins there.

Two tins is a lot of custard.

How do we know how much he eats?

We'll find out, won't we?

This is gonna be lumpy.

I don't believe it!

Why do they eat so much custard?

Where does it put it all?

Amazing!

- What's happening?
- I don't know,

maybe it's gonna explode, duck!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey, it's using the radio to talk to us.

Hello.

Hello and thank you both very much,

I was very hungry.

You speak English?

In a way, yes.

Who are you, where do you come from?

From the planet Stargar,

it's a long way from here.

If you had a star map, I could show you.

It's an alien, I knew it could happen!

Why did you come here to Earth?

I was on my way to another galaxy,

when my ship developed engine trouble

and I was forced to land here.

Yeah, the R.A.F. sure wanna talk to you.

My presence on
Earth must be kept a secret,

please help me.

We're out of custard.

Pete.

How can we help?

I must signal for help,

in order to get back to my own planet.

What can we do?

I need energy, all that I can convert

from your food, much more.

Can you use electricity?

Yes, I'll
need a great deal of it,

but hurry, there's not much time.

I'm getting weaker,

to talk like this uses all my strength.

We must bring my star ship.

I will lead you to it.

It's gone, it's just cut out, Sarge.

Corporal, did that sound like
a voice transmission to you?

Well, now that you mention it, it did,

but it was distorted though.

But it can't be, not at that frequency.

Who's that?

Go and see, but don't open the door.

Boys, hello, boys!

Filthy Potter!

Come on, open up.

Look, I only just wanna talk to ya.

Oh, come on, let us in.

Blast!

Come on, boys.

Boys.

Oh, come on, boys.

I'm not gonna hurt ya, I promise.

Come on, open up.

They think they can
outsmart Georgie Potter, ey?

I'll show them.

What do we do now?

We wait.

Come on.

It's no good, it won't budge.

Let me try.

Yeah, very useful,

very useful.

The spaceship.

A spaceship!

I've got it again,
Sarge, loud and clear.

Good, get a cross bearing, quick.

Cross bearing,



Right.

The amplitude's jumping
around like crazy, Sarge.

Did you get a bearing
on that last signal?

Yes, Sarge, there it is.

Right, swing the D.F. aerial 15 degrees.


it's getting stronger!

Turn east as
soon as you can, Jones.

Corporal, where are you taking us?

What are we doing here?

Did you check all the coordinates?

Positive, I reckon we're gonna have to

knock the door down, Sarge.
- Corporal,

this can't be right.

I live here.

Bill, what on Earth are you doing here?

Well, we had a signal.
- Look,

do you think you could just come in

and see the mess your
son's made in my kitchen?

We'd better not get too close.

What do you
think is going to happen?

I don't know.

There it goes.

There it goes right to the top!

I suppose this was a good idea.

Course it was.

It couldn't, well,
you know, hurt itself?

Well, how could it hurt
itself, it eats electricity.

- There it is again, Sarge!
- Right, come on!

Okay, go!

I mean, honestly, what a mess!

Hey, look, it's signaling!

Can you see anything?

Come on, even at the speed
of light, it'd take time.

It's coming down!

Let's take it
back to my tree house.

I still say we should
keep it at my house.

What if your Mum or Dad finds it?

I suppose you're right, but is it safe?

As safe as houses, tree houses.

Hey, the rope ladder's down!

I'm sure I put that back.

We've really got to be
careful, Pete, especially now.

I'm sure I hid that ladder.

What did it do then, slip down?

I don't know, it could've done.

You go first, it's your tree house.

Hold this.

Hand me the spaceship.

Careful.

Okay, come on up.

Got ya.

Hey, stop that!

Let him go, let him go!
- Oh, shut up, stupid!

Give it back, you've got no right!

No right?

Finders keepers, I reckon,

yeah, you found it, I'll keep it.

What, so the little
fella inside then, is he?

Well, come on, how do you open it up?

We don't know.

He's very stupid, Pete.

Get him!

- Ooh, you--
- Got him now,

I'll hold him off!

I'll get you for that, you!

Come here!

Got you, got you!
- Max!

Give us that.

I want that!

Right!

- Got him!
- Get off!

- Quick, right!
- Stop!

I got ya!

Leave him there!

Quick, Max, quick!

Come here!

Got it!

Right, now stand back,
keep back, I'll smash it.

Yeah, worth a fortune, this
in the right hands, ey?

Now no following me and
no telling anybody, right?

Or I'll think of something very nasty

to do to your little
friend here, right, boys.

He would do something nasty too.

Well, I'm gonna follow him anyway.

Hurry, come on, come on.

Oh, we'll never catch him now.

Come on.

What's happening now,
are you still getting it?

Yep, it's a fainter version
of the big one we got earlier.

It's on the move again.

- There he is!
- We're gonna catch him.

We mustn't lose him!

We've lost him.

I've got a stitch.

It's hopeless.

What are we gonna do, give up?

I can't, his nastiness could
start an interplanetary w*r.

I never thought of that.

They might invade.

Yeah.

Look.
- Come on, come on.

Broken down?

No, sonny, it's a clockwork
van and I'm winding it up.

Well, do you need a push?

No, my van does.

If we push it, will you give us a lift?

What, a couple of kids like you?

We're very strong for our age.

Yeah.

Well, it's against the
law to give children a lift.

Oh, come on, mister, just
a little way over that way?

Well, alright, round the
back and start pushing.

Come on, faster!

Alright, get in, come on!

Okay, turn left here.

What, are you chasing somebody?

We've lost him, he must've
taken another turning.

Lost who?
- Filthy.

Who?
- Filthy Potter.

Come on, my old mate,
we've got work to do.

Right, well, let's be having ya.

Come on, let's be having you, I said.

Come on, I know you're in there,

so why don't you just come on out?

I tell you, you'll see
what will happen to you,

if you're gonna muck me about.

Don't you speak English,
you stupid little,

what?

Zero,

one, zero.

Right, north as near as you can, Jones,

we need a cross bearing.

What is this signal coming from?

What I'm saying to you,

you stubborn little silver
ball of tricks is this,

I'm an hard man, if I
don't get what I want!

So come out of there or I'll
smash you into little bits!

Alright, alright, you've asked for it,

one,

two,

three!

I knew you'd see it my way.

- Look, there it is!
- It's Filthy's bike!

- Look, let us off here, mate.
- No, no, no,

you hang on a minute, hang
on, I've got to pull over.

- Thanks a lot, mate.
- Yeah, thanks a lot.

Right, and mind how you two go!

Now all I want you
to do is open this lock

just like you did the other one.

There, that was easy, wasn't it?

Oh, it's not here.

He must've taken it with him.

Oh, there you are, come on.

Now my little friend, all
our troubles are over.

He's got it.

Yeah, and he made the
ball open that door for him.

Come on.

All I want you to do,

one more thing for your old
mate, Georgie Potter, ey,

know what I mean?

Click, click, click

and we're gonna be rich.

Now just open the silly old lock, right.

Nice and easy.

Very funny, very amusing for some,

but not for me!

- No, you don't, mate!
- Got him!

Wait till I get my hands on you!

You little squirt, come here.

Hey!

Look, don't hurt it, it's a
visitor from another planet!

Get out of my way, sonny!

Stop it!

Get it!

Right, that's it,
we've got it, bear left.

It's something in that shopping center.

Wait, yeah, yeah, get off me.

Here, God, ooh!

Here, here!

What the?

Do you think it's alright?

I can't tell, I can't see any damage.

Pete, they're coming back!

There's millions of them.

Let's try running.
- No chance,

you saw what they did to Filthy.

Take the ball, put it down
where they can see it.

Place it very gently.

What are they doing now?

I think they're
talking to each other.

I wonder what it's saying.

Something nice I hope.

Goodbye, Max, goodbye, Pete.

What's this, Filthy,

you resting after a long,
hard robbery, are you?

Ey?

Oh no, I was attacked

by all these hundreds
of little shining ba*ls,

one minute I was on me feet,

the next minute I was upside down, oh!

Course they were, lots of little ba*ls.

Don't worry, you'll be
safe enough with us.

I wonder where
the spaceship's gone.

It's massive!

Look, there they go.

I wonder what they thought of us.

We'll never know.

Hey, that's my Dad!

- Max.
- Dad, come on,

you've got to come and see it now,

come on!
- Max, we're working!

Come on, there's a flying
saucer round the corner,

it's gonna disappear any second, hurry!

Sergeant.
- Come on,

you've got to see it.

You've got to listen to this.

Come on, oh, Dad, come
on, come and see it!

- Max!
- Hurry, Dad,

it's on its way home.

Dad.

You'll miss it.

Max, we haven't got time for
all this, what are you doing?

There's nothing up there,
I can't see anything.

It was there,
I tell you, I saw it.

What are you talking about?

It was there, Dad,
it came to pick up the ball.

What ball?

The ball, it ate all our food.