02x08 - The Sands of Time

[bunniefuu]

Xiaolin Showdown.

Xiaolin Showdown.

And now, my squad

of evil warriors,

cheer-bots, attack!

Cheer-bots: Go, evil, go!

Go, evil, go!

Go, evil, go! Go, evil, go!

Go, evil, go!

Uhh!

Aah!

Ha ha! I do love a

good girl fight!

Can it, Spicer!

Uhh!

Huh?

Uhh!

These cheer-bots are

most skilled warriors,

yet also refreshingly fragrant.

Cheer-bots: Go, evil, go!

Cheer-bots: Go, evil, go!

Go, evil, go!

Go, evil--

Orb of Tsunami!

Xiaolin warriors,

assume dragon x kumei formation!

Wind!

Ha!

Huh?

Greetings, Xiaolin warriors.

The old one with the

extremely large head

looks most familiar.

Bro, that's you, but way old!

I am Omi from the distant future

here to warn you

that the world will soon

be dominated by evil.

Yeah! Go evil! Whoo!

But fear not. There is a way

to prevent this disaster--

the key to the survival of

the universe as we know it

lies in the future,

only you must find

the Sands of Time

before the Sands of Time

themselves run out.

Dude, does everyone in the

future talk in riddles, too?

The Sands of Time is a very

powerful Shen Gong Wu.

It not only allows one

to travel through time,

but to alter time as well.

Remember, young dragons,

one's fate is never sealed

with the Sands of Time.

It can always be changed.

You guys, wouldn't

it be a lot easier

if we just waited until the

Sands of Time reveals itself?

No. We have no time to lose.

We cannot allow Jack

Spicer to get it first.

The world depends on us.

Seems like we've been

flying around for days.

I'm gettin' more tired

than a

A one-legged man at a

butt-kicking contest?

You kids need your rest.

Than fly around aimlessly

looking for the shen gong

Wu

Dojo, don't nod off on us now.

Huh? What?

Just 5 more minutes, mommy.

I don't want to go to school.

No. We cannot quit now.

Not until we find--

the Sands of Time!

There it is!

Unh!

Omi: Now let us find

the Shen Gong Wu.

Jack, stop playing

with your dolls!

I've just sensed that a shen

gong wu has revealed itself.

Aah!

It's the Sands of Time!

Can't you see I'm busy?

Michelle has no arms and

Dana lost her head.

She's my favorite.

Your girlfriends look like

they could use a makeover.

Don't listen to her, christie.

She's just jealous.

Kimiko: We haven't

looked down here yet.

Ok, it's gotta be

around here somewhere.

Ooh, ooh! Shen Gong Wu!

And not a minute too soon!

Jet bootsu.

Time to bag this wu.

And mosey on back to the ranch.

Omi: What is this?

They must be pharaoh's

army of evil.

Xiaolin warriors,

prepare to make battle.

Leopard attack!

Hyah!

You must be very warm

bundled up like that

when it's so hot out.

Hey, rags, you need a

little attitude adjustment.

Tangle Web Comb.

Man, echoes: Stop!

Who are you people?

You've ruined my show.

Show? Who are you?

I am the director of

the Sands of Time,

the longest-running show

in Egyptian dinner theater

History.

I quit!

Waiting tables is

better than this!

I can't believe it was

a fake Shen Gong Wu.

Doink!

Breaking news, kids.

The real sands of

time just lit up.

Buckle your seat belts.

It's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Oops! Eh

This is embarrassing.

Sorry, guys,

but I'm too out of whack to fly.

I'm gonna need at least

10 hours to recharge.

This is most inconvenient.

We are losing valuable time

on this slow jet plane!

Lazy lizard.

I heard that!

Clay: The Xiaolin temple.

Dag nar!

We're right smack dab

where we started.

Oh! That's where it was.

Rock garden, pyramid--

eh, I was close.

Ha ha ha ha!

Looking for this,

Xiaolin losers?

Too bad!

You're out of luck

and out of time!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

It was up to me to find

the Sands of Time,

and I failed all of you--

my friends, Master Fung,

and the entire universe!

I believe that about covers it.

Now, with the Sands of Time,

I can put into

action the greatest,

most evil plan of all time!

We're talking induction into

the evil hall of fame here,

and recognition for

world domination, Baby!

Do it!

Sands of Time!

See? Where am I exactly?

Whoops! Too far back!

Sands of Time!

Aaaaah!

Oww! Ow! Oww! Aah, aah!

Mr. Attila the hun,

how would you like

to come work for me?

Fight, you scurvy knaves!

Or thar will be plank

walking aplenty!

Ha ha ha ha ha! Huh?

Arrr!

Mr. blackbeard,

I'm Jack Spicer,

evil boy genius.

Big fan. Love your work.

Wuya, my disembodied partner,

I have assembled

the evilest people

in the history of all mankind.

Meet Attila the hun,

blackbeard the pirate,

Billy the kid,

Mrs. cornhaven--

my first grade teacher.

Brilliant, Jack!

So, what's our next move?

With my dream team of evil,

nothing can stop me from

collecting Shen Gong Wu.

Together we can achieve

world domination!

We may have to work

on our evil laughs.

Aaaah! Jackie!

Stand up straight when you

speak and stop whining!

Mrs. cornhaven.

You're embarrassing me in

front of my new friends.

Somebody needs a timeout!

We must get the Sands of Time.

There is no time to

dally our dillies.

I think you mean dilly-dally.

That makes no sense.

We demand the sands

of time at once!

If you please.

Ah, we'll get to that.

First, I'd like you to meet

some special friends of mine.

You don't have friends.

"You don't

have friends."

Associates. Whatever!

Evil drill team, attack!

Pardon me, old lady, but I--

old lady this! Haah!

Aaah--uhh!

I guess this would be the part

where I let out my new

trademark evil laugh.

Bwah ha ha ha ha ha hah!

Not so fast, Spicer.

He who is last to be laughing

laughs most loudly.

What Omi did to that sentence

is what we're gonna do to you!

Warriors! Dragon x

kumei formation!

Take that, pirate dude!

Now that's how we

take care of business

kung-fu cowboy style.

You call yourself the best?!

You are a disgrace

to evil everywhere.

Hey, guys, where's Jack?

You mean when is Jack?

Sands of Time!

Why do you look so different?

I took a year off

for some down time

and came up with the greatest

super genius evil plan ever.

Now I'm off to enlist the help

of the number one

villain of them all.

Sands of Time!

Aaah! Jack? Don't do that.

Wuya, I want to introduce you

to the most evil super

genius of them all--

me! From the future!

Huh? What?

Where's the bathroom?

With his knowledge

of the future,

I'll know the locations

of every Shen Gong Wu

before they reveal themselves!

Together, world

domination is ours!

I tell ya, I sense the

sweet baby among us,

somewhere right aroundHere.

I don't know what to say.

Must have been a false alarm

Or those chili peppers

I ate last night.

I don't think so.

Well, I reckon we

just got to the rodeo

after it closed.

I fail to understand.

How could Jack Spicer

get here so fast?

Look down there!

It is old Jack Spicer!

Jack Spicer must have brought

him back from the future.

No wonder they got here so fast.

He must know the location

of every Shen Gong Wu.

It's like taking candy

from a bunch of babies!

Huh? Who's got the rabies?

Hurry up, old timer.

We've gotta get the

Ruby of Ramses

before it reveals itself.

Change of plans, kids.

I guess we're going after

the Ruby of Ramses.

Whoever possesses it

has the power to move

objects at will.

I remember seeing it in the

head of the pharaoh's statue.

We need to hightail

it back to Egypt.

Have you returned to

ruin my show again?

We are here to retrieve

the Ruby of Ramses,

and to purchase 4

tickets, please.

Jack: Not so fast, baldy!

Judo flip, fire!

Typhoon boom, wind!

Seismic kick, earth!

Aah! Whoa!

Where are you going, Omi?

I am off to the future

to get the best weapon

to fight evil ever--

Shroud of Shadows.

Omi: Ha ha! The Sands of Time.

Sands of Time!

Old Jack, meet old Omi.

Jacks, we omis challenge you

to a Xiaolin Showdown Tsunami.

I can't find my teeth.

Our budon sash

against your Monkey Staff.

Our midas flip coin against

your Thorn of thunderbolt--

or thunderbolt, actually.

First group to

make it to the top

of the pyramid maze wins!

Bring it on, baldies! Heh heh!

Let's go!

Xiaolin Showdown Tsunami!

All: Gong yi tampai!

Unhh!

Mmm.

Jack: Ha ha ha!

So long, Xiaolin losers!

Announcer: Level 2 attained.

Budon sash!

Announcer: Level 3 attained.

The Thorn of old thunderbolt!

Aaaaah! Aaaaah!

Unghh!

I've got 2 words for you.

Gym membership!

Whuh? Ahh.

I don't recall that name.

Jim membership?

He--he owes me 5

bucks, that guy.

Drive safe, Jackie.

See you on Tuesday!

Your bones are old,

but your heart is strong.

You battle like a true

Xiaolin warrior yourself.

Now, if you please,

I must

Nap.

Old Omi: I must now

return to the future,

where I will hide

the Sands of Time,

never to be found again.

Good-bye.

It was most delightful

getting to know you--

I mean, me.

Sands of Time!

Ooh!

I wonder where he's gonna hide

the Sands of Time?

I know where I would.

Ah, I am most impressed

with myself.

I never would have

thought to look there.

Ha!