01x12 - Mala Mala Jong

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man: Xiaolin Showdown!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Man: Xiaolin Showdown.

Let me guess...

You're downloading more of
your vapid hippity-hop music.

Enhh! I'm working up a
Shen Gong Wu spreadsheet

so we can know who has what.
Check it.

We have the Eye of Dashi,

they have the
tongue of psi ping.

We have the third arm sash,
they've got the Longi Kite.

And those really cool
Golden Tiger Claws...

Omi sent them to
the Earth's core,

so nobody has them.

How do I file that one?

I don't need a scorekeeper.

I need someone who will
retrieve the Shen Gong Wu

and not waste time with--wait!

I am sensing a new Shen Gong Wu!

It is the most
important of them all.

The Heart of Jong.

Heart of Jong, was it?

Is that with a "j" or a "g" or--

Jack Spicer...

Retrieve this Shen Gong Wu

or suffer the consequences!

You know what?

I'll let spell-check do its job.

Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!

Heart of Jong due that way!

Much obliged, Dojo.

Heart of Jong, Heart of Jong,

Heart of Jong.

Hello?

Echo: Hello? Hello?

Ooh, sweet acoustics.

Aha! Success!

My friends, my I present...

A squirrel?

Aah! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Get the disease-carrying
vermin off of me!

Behold the mighty Xiaolin
dragon of the Water.

Not his proudest moment, is it?

Help!

Unh! Uhh!

I am most dazey and spinny.

I--

the Heart of Jong!

Ooh, I have jacked the hitpot!

That's "hit the jackpot."

As in jackpot Spicer.

That's my nickname, you know.

It is so not.

They don't need to know that.

Smell you later, losers.

You'll smell us now,
you dirty snake!

"Smell us now"?

Clay's villain taunting
needs serious work.

Hey, let go!

Aah!

Unh!

Uhh!

Omi: I challenge
you, Jack Spicer,

to a Xiaolin Showdown!

Jack, sighing: Name it.

The challenge should
suit the environment.

We shall gather acorns!

Like a squirrel?

Oh, yes.

Squirrels are most
fearsome opponents.

Uh-huh.

My Jet bootsu versus
your Lotus Twister.

Whoever gathers the most
acorns in 2 minutes wins.

Done and done. Let's go.

Xiaolin Showdown!
Xiaolin Showdown!

Gong Yi Tampai! Gong Yi Tampai!

Lotus Twister!

Heh heh heh heh heh.

Easy pickins.

Jet bootsu!

Hurry, boy.

Zip your lip.

I'm picking as fast as
my rubbery arms can.

Aah!

Clay, Kimiko: Go, Omi!
Go, Omi, go!

Ha!

Ha ha!

Aah!

Ai-aah...

Unh!

Ha!

Ah! I'll take that.

And the Jet bootsu, too.

At last...

The Heart of Jong is mine!

You can get to work on that
carefully-worded apology now.

Unh!

Did I win?

No, but you made one
squirrel very happy.

My performance in the
showdown was truly wacky.

Wack!

Wack what?!

Never mind.

Master Fung: I sense
disappointment.

Shame forbids me from speaking

of my wacky failure.

Oh...

Omi lost a Xiaolin Showdown.

Young monk, you must learn
that life is a river.

It has ebbs and flows.

You mean you win
some, you lose some?

Precisely, Raimundo.

While we should endeavor to
win all the Shen Gong Wu,

it is not the end of
life as we know it

I we occasionally lose one.

So, Omi, which shen
gong wu did you lose?

The Heart of Jong.

But that means the end
of life as we know it.

Helmet of Jong...

Eye of Dashi...

And now the Jet bootsu.

There.

Hey, this is like
building a snowman.

Focus, Jack.

It is time for the final
piece of the puzzle.

Way ahead of you.

Carrot nose.

No!

The Heart of Jong!

Oh. Right.

Hee hee hee hee.

Jack Spicer...

Behold! Aah!

Wuya: Mala Mala Jong!

Mala Mala Jong is an
ancient demon warrior.

Powerful...Deadly...

And invincible.

Cool.

How should I list it
in the spreadsheet--

powerful, deadly, or invincible?

List it as your replacement.

Right. I'll put it down as--

whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

Did you say my replacement?

Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

Come, jong, we have
a world to conquer.

Wait. Don't leave.

We were just starting
to click together

as a team.

I have an invincible demonic
warrior at my disposal.

Why would I need a
simpering little toad boy?

Simpering? I don't simper!

Never, ever, ever!

What's simpering?

Aah! Unh!

In addition to
incredible strength,

Mala Mala Jong
also has the power

of each of the Shen Gong Wu

that make up its form.

I expect Wuya will attack
before the end of the day.

So, tonight's potluck
is off, then?

Just asking.

Master, how will we fight
this Mala Mala Jong?

You won't, Omi.

You and the other chosen ones
will take our Shen Gong Wu

and flee the temple
grounds immediately.

Master-- how-- what--

the remaining Shen Gong Wu

must not fall into Wuya's hands.

You will protect
them at all costs.

Now go.

I didn't spend all this time
training to just run and hide.

I'm not afraid of this
mala mala ding-jong thing!

This is no time for
recklessness, Raimundo.

Do as you are told.

Rai, come on!

Time to ride, partner.

Omi: Raimundo, we must leave.

Aw...

It approaches from the east.

Sound the alarm.

At last... the Xiaolin temple.

Ooh, let me savor the moment!

Ahh.

Ok, let's crush them.

Now what?

We just camp out here and wait?

How 'bout we sing songs

or tell ghost stories

or, uh--ooh! Ooh! Oh! Oh!

I know--s'mores!

Mala Mala Jong could be
attacking the temple right now!

We should be fighting
with Master Fung.

Master Fung ordered us to
guard the Shen Gong Wu.

But-- all we can do
is formulate a plan

to defeat Mala Mala Jong...

In case...

Master Fung fails.

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Hyah! Hyah!

Fall back to the temple.

Hyah! Unh!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah! Unh!

Excellent!

Now, on to the Shen Gong Wu.

You won't find them, Wuya.

The chosen ones fled with them.

What?! Where are they?

Even I don't know.

Aah!

The Heart of Jong
must be the key.

Wuya was most desperate
to capture it.

Yeah. And Master Fung
was pretty spooked

when he found out Wuya got it.

Can't plot the fall of
evil on an empty stomach,

so I made fresh, hot s'mores!

Heh. Dig in.

So, maybe if we
take out the heart,

the whole warrior
goes back to being

plain old Shen Gong Wu.

As plain as shen gong
wu get, at least.

Hello? S'mores.

But how do we do such a thing?

The Serpent's Tail!

We'll go through
the two ton tunic

and take the heart
of jong right out.

Rewind, Clay.

The Serpent's Tail
wouldn't protect us

from the Eye of Dashi's
Lightning blasts.

Oh, right. We'd be
chicken-fried chosen ones.

It is a most
befuddling conundrum.

Any ideas, Raimundo?

Raimundo?

He's gone.

Aah!

Raimundo.

Master Fung, I've come back to--

I told you to protect
the Shen Gong Wu.

But--

Sword of the Storm!

Aah! Unh!

Uhh--ahh!

Wuya: Well, well...

One of the chosen ones.

You tell me, child,

where are the others hiding?

First, step back.

Your breath is rank.

Second, I'm not
telling you diddly.

Is that a fact?

Ok, then, I'll just have

a little look for myself.

Hey, what are you doing?

Get out of there!

They're on mount Hong.

I didn't know you could do that.

No...You didn't.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

If I can retrieve the
missing Golden Tiger Claws,

I may be able to stop
the Heart of Jong.

What do you think?

It...Could work.

Emphasis on "could."

It's definitely gonna work.

Probably. Maybe.

I mean, if we get real lucky.

Not a snowball's chance.

Your plan better work, Omi...

'Cause here comes
Mala Mala Jong!

Omi, you're the only
chance we've got.

Now, go!

Serpent's Tail!

So, I'll just hang
back here, then?

Kind of a support role?

Ok.

Darn gophers.

Missed.

Pardon my intrusion.

Serpent's Tail!

Darn talkin' gophers.

Mm-hmm.

Tongue of psi pi!

Look, Kimiko, it's working.

The animals understood me.

Yes! Take that, Mala Mala Jong!

The Shroud of Shadows!

How'd they do that?

Clay: They can't see him.

And neither can we.

Aah! Aah!

Aah!

Oh, boy! Omi,

pick up the pace, kid!

Must...Not...Fail.

Oh, missed again!

Hey, what a pleasant setting.

Huh?

Aah!

Serpent's Tail!

Orb of Tornami!

Aah!

Kimiko!

Monkey Staff!

Whoa!

Aah! Unh!

He's shrugging off
everything we throw at him.

Yeah? Well, check this.

Starnami!

Yes!

We did it!

We beat Mala Mala Jong.

Uh...Kimiko...

Oh, no.

End of the road,
Xiaolin warriors.

You put up an impressive
fight, to be sure,

but you've lost all the same.

Still, I'm in a merciful mood.

Pledge your allegiance to me

and I will spare your
miserable lives.

Never gonna happen.

Not in a million years.

So be it.

Crush them!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

Aha!

At last.

Ouch! Hot! Ouch! Burn!

Golden Tiger Claws!

Ouch! Hot! Ouch! Burn!

Uhh... uhh...

Don't just stand there!

Finish them!

What? What could
possibly be wrong?

Hyah!

But, how did you--

Golden Tiger Claws.

They transport you wherever
you're fixin' to go.

Even into a rampaging
monster's chest.

Sorry to break your heart, Wuya.

Noooooo!

Did you see what I did there?

"Break your heart," Heart of Jong?
Get it?

Oh, you wacky dragon.

Congratulations, young ones.

In defeating Mala Mala Jong,

you have demonstrated
considerable bravery,

skill, and cunning.

You have proven yourselves
ready for the next level--

Xiaolin apprentice.

What, you don't
know my sash size?

I am sorry, Raimundo,
but you have proven

that you are not yet
ready to move on.

But I was brave.

You did not follow
my instruction.

Your rash and impulsive actions

led us to the brink of disaster.

I suggest you meditate
on your failure.

Rai, I'm so sorry.

Yeah, buddy, i--

hey, you know. Whatever.

If that's the thanks I get for
trying to save his neck, fine.

Won't happen again. Rai--

no. I'm sick of this place!

I never should have left Brazil!

Should we go after him?

No, Kimiko.

This is a path Raimundo
must walk alone.

Interesting.

And where might that path lead?

Heh heh heh heh heh.