exciting music
Diversity.
Inclusion.
Celebrate, identity,
respect, multiculturalism.
These are the words
important to diversity training.
Now, I don't have any experience
in conflict resolution,
but I do have
experience in causing conflict,
so if you reverse
engineer that, problem solved!
Tonight, I'll be teaching you
how to stop doing harassment and
start doing
listening and learning.
That means this!
Tilt up, idiot!
Look, it's racial harmony!
I have a "get
woke fast" program,
and that program is called
Paramount+ with the Showtime
-add-on.
-[ding]
Check out bonus content
like the Juneteenth episode of
Billions !
-[chainsaw buzzing]
-[man screams]
More diverse, now!
Oh, that's just the suits
encouraging my writers to be
more diverse.
Keep up the good work, guys!
Oh, I mean...
they/them.
chimes
Tonight, I'll be
talking to Amber Riley.
Don't be a little [bleep].
[Ziwe VO] And my writer
Michelle will be hosting our
first diversity training.
I'm a g*y Black man.
Tonight will be the most
diverse episode in Black...
I mean People of
Color TV history.
Ziwe starts now.
cool theme music
You may know her from the
colorful cast of Glee.
You busted my heart.
[Ziwe VO] A woman
of many talents,
like singing, and dancing,
and not talking sh*t about her
co-workers.
We really h*--
honestly all do get along,
thank God.
[laughs]
-Same.
-[laughs]
[Ziwe VO] Someone who
could've gone to HR,
if Hollywood had an HR.
Please welcome Amber Riley!
exciting strings
Hello!
Jambo.
-Hello.
-Hi!
[Ziwe] Thank you
for doing the show!
I'm beyond excited
to chat with you.
Thank you for having me!
You are an American icon, so I
feel like I am in the presence
of a cherub from Heaven.
angelic choir
What do you like
most about diversity?
I like learning from different
people in the cultures.
We're gonna have you learn from
people in the culture a little
later today.
Oh, that doesn't
make me nervous at all.
No, it's going to be pleasant.
[bleep]ing
[bleep] and hole.
I prayed about it
before I came out here.
What did you say to
God before you came out?
I said, "God, use
me as a vessel."
church organ
I also told him to protect me.
Your debut single was
titled "Colorblind."
Colorblind, colorblind
Do you feel it was an anthem
for the "I don't see race"
crowd?
I don't believe in the, uh, "I
don't believe in race" group.
You don't believe they exist?
I don't believe that they
believe that they don't see
color. [laughs]
What's more diverse, the cast
of Glee or the Supreme Court?
Wow, that really got you!
Uh, the cast of Glee...
-[Ziwe] Wow!
-Definitely is more diverse.
triumphant music
What's worse, Mondays or
mandatory diversity training?
Mondays.
[laughs]
Really?
I've never had to go to
mandatory diversity training.
[Ziwe] You've never had to
go to diversity training?!
Mm-mm.
We have diversity
training on our show.
This feels h*m*.
You're rich and ungrateful.
Mwah, mwah, mwah.
[all] White supremacy!
I wish our show had that.
[chuckling] We did not.
Would you say there was a
race w*r on that production?
[laughs]
[laughing] No, it would
require different races;
I was the only Black one.
Now, speaking of
getting down in the muck,
you said that one of your
famous co-workers wasn't r*cist.
Did you mean that she was?
Ohhh, Ziwe!
[laughing] Oh!
Um...
Next question?
[laughing] I don't even
know how to answer that.
Um...
[clears throat]
"Flight of the
Bumblebee" by Korsakov
I don't know which
co-worker you're talking about,
I've had so many.
I am not going to say that
[bleep] Michele is r*cist.
angelic choir
You're trouble.
-I'm trouble?
-Oh, yes.
Would you say that your famous
co-worker doesn't see race,
and is, in fact, rude to
all of her co-workers?
I think that she would probably
say she doesn't see race,
but as we discussed earlier,
[whispering] everyone does.
And that's what the
song "Colorblind" is about?
Colorblind, colorblind
[laughing] It's not about her.
Who's more diverse, your
famous co-worker or your famous
co-worker after
she learned Spanish?
[laughs]
She learned Spanish?!
[laughs]
-[Ziwe] Yes!
-[laughing] What?!
[Ziwe VO] Next on Ziwe...
People are
sending you pee-pees?
Yeah, they're
sending me pee-pees.
Who's sending you a pee-pee?
Be honest, come on.
chimes
At Showtime, inclusion is at the
heart of every time someone says
the word...
"inclusion."
-uplifting music
-[dramatic thud]
[Ike VO] Now,
it's time for...
Black Rage in the Workplace.
brief upbeat jingle
Shh.
Do you hear that?
To the untrained
ear, it is silence.
But to the expert, it's
the sound of Black rage,
accumulating in the workplace
at an exponential rate.
Hi, my name is Ike, and
today, we'll be discussing...
Black rage in the workplace.
exciting bongos
Let's begin by laying out a
working definition of "Black
rage."
Black rage is what your Black
co-worker is feeling right now.
Some of you might be confused,
so let's try an exercise.
Close your eyes.
Now, inhale.
And exhale.
Now, visualize a
Black co-worker.
Black rage is what that Black
co-worker is feeling...
right now.
Congratulations, you now have
a working definition of
"Black rage."
Let's take a short
tea break to process.
suspenseful bongos
[crush]
brief upbeat jingle
exciting strings
After 17 of 30 seasons of
Dancing with the Stars,
you were the first
Black woman ever to win!
-Yes.
-Which is exciting!
Yes!
Would you say that you're
the Nelson Mandela of ABC dance
-competitions?
-[laughs]
Um, I don't think that I'm
the Nelson Mandela, no,
I don't think that
I caused any freedom.
I mean, has there been
a Black woman since?
But Tyra hosts!
Tyra is the host, yes, so
that-- I guess that's one for
us?
-[softly] Mm-hm.
-[Ziwe] [softly] Mm-hm.
What are some micro-
and macro-aggressions you
experience
working in Hollywood?
For me, it always happens in
the hair and the makeup trailer.
"Oh, your hair!
It's so interesting!
Oh, wow, can I touch it?!"
Like, a lot of that.
You're mad at the hairstylist
for touching your hair?
No, I'm mad at the other actors
for wanting to touch my hair.
-[Ziwe] Oooh!
-[laughs]
That's dark, that's really dark.
Name three people who
made your day more diverse.
Uh...
[laughs]
My makeup artist is a white man.
-triumphant music
-[Ziwe] And we love that.
We celebrate
diversity in makeup artists.
My hairstylist
is a Black woman.
[Ziwe] And we celebrate
diversity in hairstylists.
Yeah.
-Is there a third person?
-[chuckles] No.
triumphant music
It's pretty diverse in here!
What diversity do you see?
Well, [softly]
maybe not in here.
What?!
[crowd] We
shall overcome
So you said that growing up
in poverty helped you not act a
fool.
Which celebrities
are acting a fool?
[whispering] Oh my gosh...
It's a lot of
them acting a fool.
Like who?
tense music
[softly] I can just hear
my publicist's ears like
"Please don't, please
don't, please don't..."
Um, you know, the-- the norm.
Let's say the usual.
The usual suspects.
We all know who they are.
-Do we know who they are?
-I think we do.
-Do we?
-Yes.
-Do we?
-I think we do.
You are a class act, and
that is not beneficial to me.
angelic choir
Would you rather have
world peace or diversity?
Ohh, world peace, but I think
world peace requires diversity.
-That's such a cop-out.
-[laughs]
Give me some
[bleep]ing dirt, girl!
-[laughs]
-We're working together,
we are creating an art
piece, and I need clips!
I feel like I gave
you a little dirt!
What dirt?!
[meekly] I gave you
a little bit of dirt!
And what was the dirt?
Remind me!
[laughing] I can't remember,
it's all happening so fast,
Ziwe.
I won't name names.
I don't know which
co-worker you're talking about.
Next question?
Amber, you were an
angel from Heaven.
Thank you.
It's great for
you and bad for me.
[laughs]
[Ziwe VO] Next on Ziwe...
I celebrate [bleep] and hole.
How could you speak
like that on my set?
chimes
[Ike VO] What's the most
important workplace diversity
issue...
-[ding]
-diversity...
-[ding]
-women...
-[ding]
-air conditioning...
-[ding]
-g*y/POC?
jaunty music
Every morning, I take my
coffee black and my workplace
multiracial.
[sip]
Ahhh...
chimes
[Ike VO] And now, more
Black Rage in the Workplace.
brief upbeat theme
I want you to pull out a
piece of paper and a pencil.
[pencils straining
and snapping]
Let's skip that exercise.
While Black people are
unemployed at double the rate of
white people, all Black
people are double-employed,
because for every job they have,
they have a second ancillary job
of dealing the white
people at the job they have.
[speeding up] So, for instance,
each Black person with two jobs
to make ends meet,
ends up with four jobs,
of which only two pay
87 cents on the white man's
dollar, thus...
[normally] one
reason for Black rage.
brief upbeat theme
exciting strings
Amber, how much do you
love a diverse workplace?
A lot.
You know, it's not
controversial to say "10."
Oh, 10.
-You didn't say a number!
-Out of 100?!
Wow, that's
horrible, Amber, gosh!
You're going to be perfect at
this next game called Relate to
This Diverse Employee.
Sing me a jingle.
Relating to a
diverse employee
Ding!
To play, I'll bring out a real
diverse employee who will share
their troubles, and you will
have to relate to their diverse
employee feelings.
They're the most
diverse employee we have.
Are you ready?
Okay.
Come on out, diverse employee!
elegant strings
Hi, Ziwe.
-Hi, Amber Riley.
-[Amber] Hello.
Was not expecting a
white man to walk out here.
[laughs]
What were you expecting, Amber?
Not a white man!
I'm g*y, by the way.
Oh, I'm so
sorry, g*y white man.
You have me sitting on a poof.
It feels h*m*.
Amber, what do you
have to say to that?
I do feel like they
should have given you a chair.
You know how in UK,
"[bleep]" means "cigarette?"
"Poof" means "[bleep]," so...
[Amber] Wow, did not know that.
-The more you know.
-triumphant music
And what words did you
just learn, Amber?
Huh?
[laughs]
Everyone heard it.
We know what I learned.
Amber, ask this
person how their week was.
How was your week?
Oh, [bleep]ing awful.
AMC announced that Nicole Kidman
is the spokeswoman for another
year -- they renewed her -- and
not a single person on set has
congratulated me.
-Wow.
-[Amber] Wow.
And this is a
victory for my culture.
For your culture?
Which is...
White g*y.
White g*y.
Do you feel related to?
No, I think I might
just be so diverse.
Yes, being a
plus-sized Black woman is...
definitely not the same.
-[Josh] Mm.
-[Ziwe] Mm.
Oppression Olympics
-- who's winning?
I feel like we're
all losing right now.
[laughs]
Only one community's
slur has been said.
Would you like to say a slur?
[laughing] No!
Here's your chance!
[laughing] I'd like to say
some curse words, though.
-Say a curse word!
-Let's all say a curse word!
One...
two...
three.
[bleep]
...and hole.
-[laughing] Woo!
-Could you say that one again?
Yeah, [bleep]ing
[bleep] and hole.
How does that make you feel?
I don't even know
what that means.
-"[bleep]ing [bleep] and hole?"
-Mm-hm.
You don't know what "[bleep]ing
[bleep] and hole" means?
[chuckling] No.
What part, the "[bleep]ing,"
the "[bleep]," or the "hole?"
-What's a "[bleep]ing hole?"
-"[bleep] and hole."
"[bleep] and hole."
Wow, how could you
speak like that on my set?
-I'm so sorry.
-[man VO] Canceled!
Do you have any
other complaints?
I'm a man, which
is objectively bad,
and then I also wanna [bleep]
men, who are, again,
objectively bad.
It's so bad.
-Now that, I feel.
-[Josh] Yeah.
-[Ziwe] Okay!
-[laughs]
We're getting somewhere.
So we are bonding over
our hatred of [bleep]ing men.
I relate to you.
Do you feel related to?
You know, on this one...
-I still don't.
-Wow.
I think you should apologize
to the white g*y community.
Please!
tense music
No, thank you.
[laughs]
"No, thank you"
to the community?
Wow!
[laughs]
jaunty music
You can't spell
"hero" without HR.
exciting strings
Amber, can you describe
diversity in one word or less?
No.
Great!
Let's play a game called
Diversity Statement Mad Libs!
Now sing a jingle!
Diversity
Statement Mad Libs
Oooh!
-Amen.
-[Amber] Amen.
-Hallelujah.
-Yes.
Jehova-jireh.
Okay, Amber,
you're a businesswoman,
but you're also a
business -- comma -- woman,
so you need the
perfect accessory:
a diversity statement.
Okay.
Choose a purse,
read the card inside,
and fill in the blanks, then
sing it out loud for all your
future employees to hear.
Are you ready to start?
Yes.
Okay, Black History Month!
[Ziwe] Please.
I love Black history
Black people are
beautiful and wonderful
And African-American
In solidarity
Okay, that was beautiful.
Thank you.
Marry, [bleep], k*ll:
saying "Black," the N word,
-or "African-American."
-[laughs]
Marry "Black,"
[bleep] the N word...
k*ll "African-American?"
You're gonna k*ll
African-Americans, Amber Riley?!
We don't call
ourselves "African-American."
What do we call ourselves?
We say we're Black!
Or?
-Or [bleep].
-[gasps]
-Okay, Amber!
-I can say it!
Last one; come on, hustle!
And what month is this?
Italian-American
Heritage Month.
Okay, well, you better give
it all you [bleep]ing got.
Okay.
Pizza, pasta, red--
That's already problematic.
How?!
-You guys wrote it!
-I don't recall.
-[cheering]
-jovial strings
Continue.
Pizza, pasta, red
I've always
appreciated Italian people
Even when people
say they are--
What?!
I'm not--!
Tony Soprano, more like--
[laughs]
Christopher Columbus
wasn't as bad as--
What?!
This is terrible!
[laughing] I'm not singing this.
I'm putting this sh*t back.
So you're not in
solidarity with the Italian--
In solidarity,
I am not singing that sh*t.
I think we've learned a
valuable lesson today:
Amber has a prejudice...
[laughs]
For certain communities.
I don't!
I love...
all the communities.
Diversity!
Do that dance again.
[softly] Diversity!
jaunty music
[Ike VO] And now, more
Black Rage in the Workplace.
brief upbeat theme
It's natural to wonder, "What's
my role in alleviating Black
rage?"
Your primary role is...
Your primary role
[clears throat] is to not
ask Black people how
to alleviate Black rage,
as that can have the inverse
affect of increasing Black rage.
Okay, look!
I am already hosting this
segment for 87 cents on the
white man's dollar!
Do you want me to
operate this boom mic too?!
You want a diversity game?!
I spy, with my little eye,
a white mediocre sound guy!
Huh?!
That break the ice
enough for everybody here?!
Huh?!
How 'bout I break
this boom mic?!
[grunting]
Gimme that!
[grunting]
[clears throat]
Sorry about that,
everyone, I'm...not that guy.
I love my job, and I
love my colleague,
the white mediocre sound guy.
Join us next time, when we'll
be discussing Black female rage.
Next time?!
No, we'll discuss Black
female rage right now!
You know that was my only line?
My only...scripted...line.
I had to audition for this, even
though they asked me to do this
show.
[scoffs] I had to
send in a damn tape!
I have drummed at
the Grammys, okay?
I went to acting school.
I'm a medical doctor!
But sure, I'm cool with
making 24 cents to Ike's dollar.
Yeah, [scoffs] happy to wait
'til next week to discuss Black
female rage.
[softly] Yeah, that's
what-- that's what I just said.
[shrieks]
tense music
[Ike VO] From
diversity, to inclusion,
to a colorful
rainbow of fruity taste,
we here at G-G-G-G-G-G-G-Gushers
are committed to upholding the
values of people, and the
expl*sive volcanic tooty fruity
blast of in-your-face flavor
that represent America's better
angels.
So let's all take a stand
and declare in one voice that
there's no room for hate in
new Fruit G-G-G-G-G-G-G-G-Geyser
G-G-G-G-Gushers.
Now available in
Social Justice Strawberry,
Equity Fruit Blast,
and Interracial Berry,
next to the cereal aisle!
chimes
[Michelle VO] Since 2020, big
corporations have been throwing
money at diversity training.
Mastercard telling us
it's defining inclusion as a
leadership skill.
[Michelle VO] But
do they even work?
I don't know.
[woman VO] Sephora is going to
close more than 400 stores on
Wednesday for a
one-hour inclusivity workshop.
[Michelle VO] If
Coke is doing it,
apparently, Ziwe and Sons
corporate can do it too!
So Ziwe gave me,
Michelle Nicole Brady Davis,
diversity training exercises on
a focus group of
people from Craigslist!
I'm comedy writer
Michelle Nicole Brady Davis.
[all] White supremacy!
[Michelle VO] And I can't say
enough how unqualified I am to
do this.
My name is
Michelle, but often times,
I am mixed up with the
other Black person in the room,
and that would be called...
"racism," right?
Okay.
Like, if you, perhaps, Bob,
if you called me "Alicia."
I'm not Alicia, I'm Michelle.
[Bob] Okay.
And if you mixed me up, that
would be a microaggression,
right?
It'd be a mistake, that's all.
I get the other
girl in the room.
You get it, right?
'Cause I don't look like you.
I can't go with, you know, "It's
a mistake" 'cause I don't look
-like her. [laughs]
-[Michelle] Right, exactly.
But you know what, you guys?
Let's start off a
little bit lighter.
I didn't mean to enter
the room with "racism" but,
you know, sometimes
that's the truth of it.
curious music
Okay, so let's start
easy with an icebreaker.
I want everyone to go around and
say what is diversity to you.
[French accent]
Different countries,
different origins,
different backgrounds.
[Michelle] Okay.
'Cause I believe I'm the only
one that's not American here.
How do you know?
[British accent]
Actually, I'm British.
-[chuckles]
-You're British?
Okay, so we're both Europeans.
I did not know,
I'm sorry, but...
everywhere I go,
I'm the only one.
Mm, yeah.
That's diversity.
curious music
Everyone, raise your hand
if you do not see color.
You don't see color, Bob?
Who else does not see color?
I try not to take account
of it in-- in the majority of
circumstances, but
it-- it's there;
I can't-- I can't shut my eyes.
I'm not saying I always
succeed in discounting it.
-[Michelle] Mm!
-I'm saying I try.
You try to discount their race?
Yeah.
Valerie and Alicia, where
do you stand on seeing color?
I agree it's there,
but I refuse to see it,
I don't wanna see it.
I have something that I
just can't let go. [laughs]
I would love you to say it.
[laughing] Okay.
People see color.
[laughing] People see color!
Yes.
Whenever you're
asked that question,
don't ever say you don't
see it, because I see it,
you see it.
We see color; there's
nothing wrong with seeing it.
When you deny who I am,
you're denying who I am.
[Michelle] Yes!
I see you, you're a white
guy, I'm good with that.
[laughing] It's okay for
me to be a Black girl!
[Michelle] Yes!
It's okay for you
to be a white guy.
-Thank you.
-It's okay.
curious music
In order to dispel stereotypes,
we have to acknowledge that they
exist, right?
This is a game
called I Am/I Am Not.
I'm gonna point to one of
the people on the board,
and we're gonna
say who they are.
Who do you think this person is?
"I am..."
An entrepreneur.
And then "I am not" is gonna
be what the stereotype is.
-A smoker.
-[Michelle] A smoker.
And then, we're gonna say,
"Goodbye, stereotype."
[all] Goodbye, stereotype!
[Michelle] What about
this person right here?
"I am...?"
She's older.
[Michelle] What are some
stereotypes of old people?
Sick.
[Michelle] Sick, yes.
[all] Goodbye, stereotype!
Ooh, this is a fun one.
This person right here
seems to be drinking.
Oh, and they're wearing green.
-Maybe they're...
-Irish.
So "I am Irish, I am not..."
-An alcoholic.
-[Michelle] An alcoholic.
[all] Goodbye, stereotype.
upbeat music
So I'm going to
place some cards.
Choose what you think would be
the most fun ethnicity to be.
Ready, set, go.
Who would be fun
to be for a day?
So these are the
ones that we've left.
Nobody really wants to be Black,
and no one really wants to be
from Florida.
I'm trying to
figure out "Passing."
Meaning I'm one person and I'm
passing ethnically for another?
-Yes, yes!
-[Bob] Eh, I'll try that.
[Michelle] Okay, cool!
Ooh, so tell us, who
are you passing as?
A straight white male.
But who are you really?
I'm a g*y Black man, and, um...
-I like men.
-Yeah.
'Cause you're g*y.
Yeah, and, uh, I don't think
there's anything wrong with it.
[Michelle] Yeah, and
it's great that you're g*y.
-We celebrate it.
-[Bob] I celebrate it.
-Yeah.
-Love the g*y Pride parade.
-[Michelle] I love it too.
-I march in it every year.
Yeah, amazing!
Celebrate diversity!
upbeat music
See?!
A Band-Aid over a
b*llet hole can help!
Now, the economy's
never been woker!
Sesame Place Theme Park will
require all of its employees to
undergo diversity training.
[Michelle VO] And Black people
have never experienced less
racism!
Watch out for
this, diversity train!
Choo-choo!
A great experience had by all.
Going forward, we should all
remember in the workplace:
diversity...
inclusion...
and equity.
One, two, three...
[all] DIE!
jaunty music
Diversity
training isn't enough.
I'm ready to go to...
-[chainsaw buzzes]
-diversity w*r!
Urgh!
anxious strings
chimes
I've been back there
playing the drums for him!
Sweating; there's no
waters back there!
I've drummed at
Britney Spears' wedding.
I've drummed at the White House!
A white house near
the White House.
I deserve better than this!
I drummed near Jeff
Bezos' car parking spot!
[screaming]
spirited orchestral music
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02x10 - Diversity Training
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American satirical late-night talk show hosted and executive produced by comedian Ziwe Fumudoh based in New York City.
American satirical late-night talk show hosted and executive produced by comedian Ziwe Fumudoh based in New York City.