Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.

Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?

Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register

01x09 - The Black Desert

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Chief of w*r". Aired: August 1, 2025.*
Watch/Buy Amazon



Follows Kaʻiana, a warrior chief (aliʻi) of Kauaʻi who travels outside the islands as the "most famous Hawaiian in the world" returns home and joins a bloody campaign until, at the last minute, he rebels against the unification of Hawaiʻi that took place from 1782 to 1810 under Kamehameha I.

01x09 - The Black Desert

Post by bunniefuu »

[chanting in Hawaiian] Keōuakūʻahuʻula,

all who shunned you will bow at your feet.

With you, is the supernatural
power of the goddess of fire.

The volcano wakes at the wrongs
done to you, my Chief.

If you will have them, I pledge my men

and my district
in the fight against Kamehameha.

You did not stand with Kaʻū
at the death of the king.

I was wrong.

I was wronged.

So what will you do to make it right?

I offer protection from
the wrath of my gods.

What do you offer me?

This club is Hilo koa,

carved in the days of Hanakahi.

It carries the mana of my people.

- [grunts]
- [yells, grunts]

[breathing shakily]

I did not do this.

You did it to yourself.

Now what will you give?

[warrior chief] Your teeth.

Offer your teeth to the High Chief.

[breathes shakily]

[grunting]

[groans]

[breathes shakily]

[grunting]

[breathes shakily]

This club belongs to your family
to k*ll our enemy.

[groans, breathes heavily]

But never again forget who you kneel for.

[breathes shakily]

[grunting, groaning]

Take him away.

[groans, breathes heavily]

Keōuakūʻahuʻula.

[chanting] The god of your father.

The goddess of fire stands with you.

[inhales deeply]

None will deny your place.

Kaʻiana a ʻAhuʻula.

You have come to us a child of Maui.

But with this ivory tooth necklace,

I ask you…

to lead my army…

as Chief of w*r.

No matter where you go in the world,

you will always have a home here among us.

Word has come to us…

that the district of Hilo
has joined Keōua.

But they will be defeated…

by our Chief of w*r.

They will bow before the
Red-mouthed weapons…

and the booming voice of Kū!

And the kingdom will be ours.

Agreed?

Agreed.

She's here.

Kaʻahumanu.

Come.

[councilmen speaking Hawaiian]

On the eve of battle, I make a decree
to be heard by all.

From this day forth,

Kaʻahumanu will join my council…

and advise on all matters of the kingdom.

[councilmen speaking Hawaiian]

This is my declaration.

Let it be heard by all of my Chiefs.

We attack tomorrow,

so this council is dismissed.

[in English] You see the world
in ways we do not.

Guide us to do the same.

Ready!

And fire!

[Tony] Load it and fire!

Good. All right. Clean 'em and rack 'em.

Inventory's good, even with the training.

Something on your mind?

You nervous?

[sighs] No.

This don't make you nervous a little bit?

No.

You?

[Tony chuckles]

Be a lie if I said it didn't.

But… [sighs] …fear
don't get to me like it used to.

What does that mean?

I faced death nearly every day
before I ran away.

Hell, the fear of death
is what kept me running

'cause I knew at any moment
it could catch right back up to me.

But I'm alright now.

What changed?

I learned to sh**t.

Now I'm the one holding the muskets.

[sighs]

Tomorrow we face
gods and men to build a kingdom.

I want you to know that no matter
what happens to me, this is your home.

Here is your family.

No more running.

[breathes deeply]

This land will hold you,
long after I'm gone.

They seem harmless like this.

It will bring death
like nothing you've seen before.

I have always fought by your side.

Yet I cannot go into battle
with something unspoken between us.

I thought you to be dead.

We all did.

Waiting, not knowing.

Wondering how you suffered.

If we could save the mana of your bones.

It broke us.

I found comfort with Kūpuohi,

and she with me.

It is the shame of my life,

but I love her.

[Nāmake sighs]

I betrayed you, Kaʻiana.

You did no wrong to a dead brother.

But I am here now
and I cannot face Keōua without my family.

[inhales deeply]

[in Hawaiian]
I have neglected you, my son.

[coughs, clears throat]

[groaning, grunting]

I knew you would wake.

Get him.

You have thunder in your blood.

[grunting, breathing heavily]

[Kahekili] For the pain.

For the pain.

[coughing]

I do not blame you for what you did.

[clears throat]

[grunts]

[grunting, coughing]

- [grunts]
- [warrior roars]

[coughing, choking]

[choking]

It wasn't your fault.

[choking]

I did not see the poison

given to my own son.

[breathing heavily]

He is unclean.

[gasping]

Death will purify him.

Stop.

No.

[grunting]

Soon I will control Hawaiʻi's kingdom,

and we will rule it together.

[Kūpule] Let him live.

Let him live.

[gasping, choking]

[Kūpule grunts]

Enough!

Enough!

[wheezes]

The prince has spared him,

but I will be his purification.

[breathing heavily]

- [insects chittering]
- [chattering in distance]

[Kaʻahumanu, in English]
Kohala is restless.

Kamehameha will seek counsel
from the w*r god in the morning.

[in Hawaiian] Are you alright?

The volcano goddess calls the Chiefs
to stand with Keōua.

Maui stands with Keōua.

Our numbers are small.

[in English] I feel like
the gods are against me.

You have made us stronger, Kaʻiana.

We have the foreign weapons.

It will be enough.

Keōua is only the beginning.

Kahekili waits. I can feel his hunt.

[in Hawaiian] The Paleskin as well.

[in English] I believe in you.

Kaʻahumanu,

you have found your place with Kamehameha.

And you with your family.

All is as it should be.

[chuckles]

You have come far since we met.

As have you.

Are you still the chief of contradiction
who desires peace over w*r?

[in Hawaiian] Not today.

[in English] I have been too alone
in my own suffering to see yours.

Nāhi cherished you.

He loved you.

I cannot imagine the suffering
you are going through.

[sniffles]

[sniffles]

I want to fight.

[in Hawaiian] Are you okay, my Chief?

We will lead these warriors to victory,

but I take no comfort

in the death we will bring today.

The skies will yield

and the land will listen

to Kū the infinite.

Kū the assailant.

Kū the berserker.

Kū the righteous.

Kū the unyielding.

To Kūkāʻilimoku.

To all the ancestral deities of Kū.

Shield us from darkness.

Shield us from death.

Shield us from trouble.

Guide us on this journey.

O' Kū, devour those districts…

and seize the entire Kingdom.

The God of w*r has spoken.

The feathers of Kū have quivered.

We move this army to
the Black Desert immediately.

[chanting in Hawaiian]

[chanting stops]

Let the spiritual battle begin.

[warriors chanting in Hawaiian]

[Keōua's priest chanting]

[exclaims]

[warriors screaming]

O' great God of w*r,

grant us might.

[chanting]

[cracking]

Stand your ground!

[chanting]

You fools are the worthless reef fish

of the worthless Chief, Kamehameha.

You dare to face our flesh-eating god…

Māʻaikanaka?

[Keōua's warriors] Fools! Fools! Fools!

We are the magma of blinding heat

that stirs the earth below.

Fight, and we will devour all life

who stands on these hardened rocks.

- [Keōua's warriors] We devour all!
- ['Ōpūnui roars]

['Ōpūnui]
This battle field is our altar of death.

And we will offer your lifeless bodies…

to the gods of our worship.

[roars]

This is who leads you? Kaʻiana?

Lowborn scum of the earth.

He is the filth of Maui.

Kaʻiana is the epitome of cowardice

and has fled to every crevice
of the eight oceans.

If you stand with him,
his death will be your death.

Here are the fierce warriors of Kaʻū,

standing with Maui of the great thunder.

Look on us, the deliverers
of your destruction.

Who among us will be consumed
by the weakness of their gods?

We fight with the God of w*r.

Our throats will be satiated
feasting on you,

the worthless fish of the shallows.

Look at the pathetic ʻŌpūnui,

fat-bellied from feeding off of the scraps

given to him by his master, Kahekili.

[breathes deeply]

- And cradles the king's testicles
- [Kaʻiana's warriors laughing]

in hopes of earning his next meal.

He is nothing more than
the strong hand of Maui!

And has come to polish…

the spear of his king.

Who among this army
of spear polishing men…

can reach me?

Spears.

[grunting]

Their spears are soft and limp.

[Kaʻiana's warriors laughing]

[grunts, sighs]

- Do not fear an army of baby pigs!
- [Keōua's warriors grunting]

[grunting]

You are a plague
of the outside world, Kaʻiana.

And you threaten to infect us
with the sickness you hold.

Come! And I will lay you down
in the cradle of blackened earth…

…as I did your brother.

Keōua!

[in English] You have no idea
what's coming.

You will never understand,
you were born a fool!

I did not come here for battle.

I came here to rid your kingdom
of your bloodline

and erase the shame of your birth!

[pants]

Bring me your men and your gods
and I will feed them fire and black smoke

for what you have done to me!

[in Hawaiian] Keōua.

Your time to die is now.

[Kaʻiana's warriors screaming]

For Nāhi.

For Nāhi.

k*ll them all!

[Kaʻiana's warriors screaming]

Attack!

[Keōua's warriors screaming]

Now!

Next squadron…

attack!

[Keōua's warriors screaming, grunting]

Spears!

[screams]

[Kaʻiana's warriors screaming, grunting]

Forward!

[chanting]

[chanting]

[speaks Hawaiian]

[Keōua's priest chanting]

Keōua!

[screams]

[whimpers, screams]

Heke!

Heke!

Heke!

[warriors grunting]

Heke!

Heke!

Heke!

Heke!

Heke!

[screaming]

[screaming]

[grunts]

[both screaming]

[Heke gasping]

The gods bless me…

with the nectar of lehua once again.

[screams]

['Ōpūnui laughing]

[gasps]

[growls]

[warriors screaming]

[g*nsh*t]

[groaning, screaming]

[screaming]

[groaning]

[screaming, groaning]

[exclaims]

- [screams]
- [bones crack]

[priest chanting]

[warriors screaming]

[exclaims, grunts]

Come at me!

Come at me, Kaʻiana!

[grunts]

[grunting, exclaiming]

[grunts]

[grunts]

Kaʻiana.

[panting]

[screams]

[grunts]

[screams]

Spare me, Pele.

Let me live!

[warrior, Kaʻiana screaming]

[whimpering]

[screams]

[sobs]

[Keōua sighs] Kaʻiana.

[panting]

[Kaʻiana exclaims]

[warriors murmuring]

Keōua's dead!

[warriors cheering]

Kaʻiana!

[sobbing]

[Kaʻiana coughs]

[Kaʻiana grunts]

[Kaʻahumanu cries]

[cheering]

Kamehameha.

Hail Kamehameha.

Hail Kamehameha!

[shouting]

[warriors chanting]

[warriors chanting in distance]

[crying]

[panting, moaning]

[whispering]

My King!

Word from Hawaiʻi's Kingdom has returned.

Look in the eyes of thunder

when you speak to me, boy.

Our men marched to the Black Desert
with Keōua yesterday.

They fell to Kamehameha's army.

Kaʻiana is there.

Kaʻiana?

Yes.

Beautiful.

It is as my Seers have said.

I will have Kaʻiana's bones,

and the kingdoms will be mine.

Look at me, boy.

[chuckling]

Send word to Maui,

and gather my fleet.

If Kaʻiana is there,

I will blanket the ocean channel
with my w*r canoes…

and tear through the sands,

stones,

and mountains of Hawaiʻi's Kingdom.

Go.

[moaning]