McWalter (2025)

[bunniefuu]

Because our planet is

our most precious treasure,

for a brighter future,

for all of us to be as one,

let us all be united for the world.

Make a donation

at all united for the world.org.

BACONFIELD, USA

NEW NEW ORLEANS

Go! Come on, let's go! Go!

We can't go in just yet.

Now.

Roll call.

- Johnson?

- Here!

That's everyone.

Boss, we received an anonymous call

about a hostage situation

in this burger bun factory.

Our best are on it. It's under control.

Where is McWalter?

Everything's under control.

Watch out!

I'm fine.

- You okay?

- Yeah.

Thankfully I wore a helmet.

- Call McWalter.

- No.

No, let me call Agent Stevenson.

McWalter, we need you at the corner

of 144th and Pizza Street.

No, come on!

Why do you hate him so much?

- I don't!

- She's lying!

Our visions of this job

are just different.

And you're too soft on him.

Whenever he's in the field,

he destroys half the city,

and you don't seem to care.

So he acts more like loose cannon

than a secret agent.

Miranda, in this agency, some people

work behind desks, like you,

and some people are like McWalter.

You always provide excellent reports.

Well-presented, well-written.

But thanks to him,

Americans live in a free country

where they can over consume,

destroy the planet

and slowly eat themselves to death.

So, yes, I think

I can let a few things slide.

He's doing a donut around an actual donut!

Miranda.

Please don't go crazy for once.

If going crazy means saving America

McWalter, go rescue the hostages.

Put your phones on airplane mode,

because the flight to rescue the hostages

Going.

We don't want to die, we're just buns.

So, you guys like committing crimes?

That's not very nice.

- Here.

- Thank you.

- Child's play.

- Don't move!

- Hey, how's it going?

- Good, you?

Damn it.

Hey, as*h*le.

Let's do this!

Damn it.

My bad.

So you're all dead now.

What a shame.

They may have wanted to take our buns,

but they didn't expect a knuckle sandwich.

Excellent, McWalter.

Are the buns safe?

-Positive.

They're a happy bun-ch.

I was expecting you.

As of right now,

let that person go immediately.

You haven't changed, McWalter.

Do I know you?

Wait, seriously?

- You don't recognize me?

- Not in the least.

If I did, I would have given you a hug.

What about her? Do you recognize her?

Tracy.

Honey.

- What are you doing here?

- I work here.

Yes.

Yes.

It's why I attacked this factory.

To lure you here.

I thought you understood.

How long?

Since I was 17.

Is he serious right now?

He has memory issues. It's not his fault.

Okay, what do you want?

To k*ll you.

- To k*ll me?

- Yes.

Don't worry, Tracy.

Everything will be fine.

Okay, thank you. I needed to hear that.

When you're dead, I'll finally be able

to complete my plan to destroy

No!

Tracy!

Tracy, honey, baby.

Do you remember when I was a hostage

on the roof of a bun factory

and you said everything

was going to be fine?

It was like a minute ago.

- Was I there?

- Yes.

Promise me that you'll fix

this memory problem, because

One day, it's going to get you in serious

Serious trouble.

What?

No!

I DID EVERYTHING RIGHA BIOGRAPHY

MOURNING HIS WIFE:

MCWALTER TURNS IN HIS UNIFORM

10 MONTHS LATER

Sweetie.

Are you ready?

-Can I come in?

-No!

-Okay, I'm coming in.

-No! Stop!

BIRDS

Come on

What are you doing?

-Wait.

-Smells nice.

-Stop.

-You're so beautiful, honey.

-Can I stay?

-No!

-I'll be right there.

-I love you.

You're an idiot. Stop.

Please, stop. Honey.

What are you doing?

Sweetie, please, stop.

Come on, stop.

That's enough now

We interrupt our programming

for a special report.

Breaking news. It has just happened.

The world is in shock.

Another expl*si*n happened

last night in Beijing.

The fourth expl*si*n this week.

After Australia, Hungary, and Venezuela.

Cataclysmic detonations

have created enormous craters

that are releasing disturbing green smoke.

Of course, the hundreds of casualties

is regrettable,

but what's really concerning

for the authorities

is the mystery behind these crimes.

Are they t*rror1st attacks?

If so, when will someone

claim responsibility?

And who?

A lot of questions, few answers, if any.

According to our sources,

authorities do have a suspect.

Police! McWalter, come out!

Now!

Please!

Slowly!

Good, walk slowly towards us!

Guys, there were other ways

to get me to work.

Sorry about the grass.

We parked like sh*t!

Welcome to the a*s!

Advanced Special Services.

It was through this great door

that McWalter,

our national hero,

would enter the premises every morning

before his wife's tragic death.

As a safety precaution,

please only pretend to take photos.

Sorry, my Spanish is really bad.

Ever since I met McWalter, we've attended

every single Birds home game.

He hadn't missed one in 14 years.

But last night, he wasn't there.

I see.

Wait for me!

Sorry. Excuse me.

- He won't come out.

- Very well.

You, in the a*s before noon? Well done.

- It's a record.

- One more.

You know, every security agency

in the world

is on high alert about these explosions.

I really don't give a sh*t.

Funny thing is, at every single scene,

we found something interesting.

Your fingerprints.

Australia, your fingerprints.

Southern Hungary, your fingerprints.

Venezuela, your footprints.

Mom Happy you finally got him

Yesterday.

Beijing.

There we actually found

a hair with your DNA, nails,

and a small quantity of body fluid

yet to be unidentified.

TOTAL COOKING

Today, we're making

an herb chicken recipe

According to our experts,

the bombs were activated on site.

Where were you yesterday?

You're playing the faulty memory card?

I don't buy it.

Yesterday, like everyone else,

I was at the Birds game in Baconfield.

But what I think is that

since I got out of the a*s,

you've been in trouble.

I think you got it all wrong.

No, I got it right.

We think you're responsible

for these attacks.

- The evidence is damning.

- Okay, then I got it wrong.

Take him to the interrogation room.

- I'm not going anywhere.

- I knew it, McWalter.

Your place isn't with the police.

You're dangerous, conceited,

and irresponsible.

But that's all over now.

Everyone will see who you really are.

You're no hero. You don't have the guts.

You have no idea what my guts are like.

Here, deep inside me.

Sooner or later, it's all gonna come out.

And then, it's going to

It was part of his plan.

That's why he wouldn't come out.

No, Sorkin.

Don't do this. Stay with me! Sorkin!

Stay with me!

McWalter!

Yes?

McWalter! Stop!

Come on, open up!

I'm nearly there.

My car!

sh*t, the helmet!

Come on.

My bike!

Hey! My eagle!

Thank you, Daniel. That was close.

McWalter, it's been a while.

It has.

You know you can always count on me.

I wouldn't have expected any less.

You're so funny, Mac.

- I owe you one, Daniel.

- That's true.

Today, the a*s exploded.

And the numbers are bad,

14 dead, 36 injured,

including Captain Sorkin,

who is now in intensive care.

And it is a shock to us all

to hear that the man behind

this attack is the a*s's star agent,

McWalter.

There is no longer any doubt,

McWalter is the t*rror1st

responsible for the attacks

around the world this week.

The former media icon is now wanted

by police forces around the world.

It's an immense shock, anger is rising

in the streets of Baconfield.

McWalter, what an as*h*le!

I understand your disappointment.

McWalter, what an as*h*le!

ELIMINATE PESTS

ESPECIALLY MCWALTER

Rest assured that I will do everything

to find and arrest the man who is now

SMOKING KILLS

SO DOES MCWALTER

Public enemy number one.

And we're witnessing live

the destruction of McWalter Bridge

-by the mayor.

- Do it.

Mr. Mayor, couldn't we have just

removed the plaque with his name?

Or changed it?

McWalter, what an as*h*le!

MCWALTER: PUBLIC ENEMY

NUMBER ONE

McWalter, what an as*h*le!

DANIEL EAGLE

TRACY - DEAD

DAD - NO NUMBER

MOM - NO NUMBER

SEXY CHICK FOUR - CALLING

You've reached Sexy Chick Four. Please

Hey! Who's there?

Did you hear that?

Who's there?

-It's me, McWalter.

McWalter?

-I'm behind the trash can.

sh*t, why did we record that?

Don't be scared. I'm wearing a gray robe

and blue pajama bottoms.

- That's really specific.

- McWalter, come out now!

Why don't you come here?

Stop shaking me. I'll sing instead.

I'm behind the trash can

Stop. Stop it!

That hurt, man. Say you're sorry.

-You have big feet.

- Hands up!

There's a Black guy on the street.

Damn it! We're on our way!

We'll get our Christmas bonus now!

McWalter? Come with me.

- You don't recognize me?

- Not at all.

Pollux. We work together.

Pollux

It's been, like, ten years.

No.

McWalter, what an as*h*le!

We'll be safe here.

Where are we?

At my place.

It's really disgusting.

I tracked your phone.

Turn it off and remove the chip.

We'll get you out of this.

Well, there's no "we," really.

I'm actually the only one

who believes you're innocent.

- Sausage?

- No, thanks, I'm Ralian.

What's going on, Pollux?

This feels like a setup.

If this was a setup,

I wouldn't be so obvious.

Everybody thinks I did it.

I don't understand.

Do you want my opinion,

according to me, that I think?

Your grammar is terrible.

Let's pretend I never heard nothing.

I think it's like

when you try on lipstick.

When you try one on in a shop,

you try it and you put it back,

but your DNA stays on it.

All the t*rrorists had to do was take it

and place your DNA at the crime scenes.

It's totally plausible.

But I don't remember ever doing that.

Of course, your temporal lobe

is damaged in multiple areas,

which prevents you

from accessing almost all your memories.

This usually happens after

a post-traumatic shock during childhood.

Know what I thinked?

Still not grammatically correct, but sure.

I thinked that someone is pretending

to be you.

- Why?

- So you take them blame, not them.

Machiavellian. It's the only word for it.

And it's working.

You're being blamed, they're not.

Machiavellian. It's the only word for it.

If you want to get your life back,

you'll have to go after it.

Find who's responsible, stop them,

and you'll go back to being the hero

that everyone admired.

How?

All four bombs

used the same thermo-reactive process.

They use Smegma.

Originally designed

as an ordinary adhesive,

that it was turned into a expl*sive

shows great scientific knowledge.

Luckily, there's only one factory

that manufactures Smegma,

and it's in Countrystan,

a tiny, obscure country

in the middle of the ocean.

Go there, get inside the facility.

Collect evidence

to track down who made the expl*sives

and identify the t*rrorists.

For now, I'm the only one

who has this information,

but that won't last long.

Use it to your advantage.

I got you a seat on the next flight.

Use your camouflage skills to blend in.

A man named Yuri will pick you up there.

He's my contact.

We were in the academy together.

He's like a brother. We banged.

You're now Wesley Davidson, 29,

from Michigan. You have two kids,

one of them is bipolar.

- Can I see them?

- No.

Why are you helping me?

I can't express how much

I admire you as a man

and as a defender of freedom.

But I will say that

when I think about you, I get hard

I didn't hear what you said.

Hardworking. Your energy inspires me.

It recharges my batteries

that are drained by this world in which

I don't belong.

Go, McWalter. Your destiny awaits.

No, not that door!

He's the one who bought it.

Everything okay?

Trace a mysterious substance

to identify a criminal organization

behind a series of attacks

while investigating their motives

to prove my innocence?

I was born for this.

Welcome to Countrystan.

The smallest and poorest country

in the world.

A small arid land in the middle

of a cold and polluted ocean,

its climate is usually tepid and gray.

If you're staying in the capital city,

Capital is tan,

take a stroll down Main Street,

enjoy the friendly atmosphere,

and try one of our culinary specialties,

the specialist an,

a sumptuous bread sandwich,

and a glass of traditional bread juice.

I'm full.

COUNTRYSTAN:

SOME HISTORY

A long time ago, an underwater

volcanic rift opened in the center,

weakening the earth's crust

and causing natural disasters

around the world.

In order to contain these disturbances,

the planet's rich countries

forced Countrystan

to close the rift with a very big plug.

By maintaining and operating

this very big plug,

the Countrystanese keep

the rest of the world safe

by sacrificing themselves completely.

It is now time to say "See you later,"

or "See you later-Stan,"

with our beautiful national anthem.

This promotional clip is brought to you

by Smegma Industries.

Bread juice, Mr. Davidson?

McWalter.

Hello.

Can he hear us?

According to a recent American study, yes.

What about Internet forums?

He has A*DS.

Boss, we're going to find him.

I will avenge your memory, I swear.

He's not dead.

Not yet.

There's a very good chance

that he'll wake up.

It's almost certain.

You never know.

Okay, let's go.

We need to find that b*stard.

As quickly as possible.

Sorry I'm late, I was betraying you.

Nope. I was on the subway.

It's completely different.

Lock down the city, close everything,

borders, airports,

train stations, everything.

Call our agents abroad.

He must have left a trace somewhere.

He's the least secret secret agent.

- What about facial recognition?

- Here!

I've got him.

The image isn't clear,

but I think it's him.

That's a flan.

I don't know, I'd still like to go check.

Ma'am, I've got him.

At the airport,

some guy disguised as a Mexican

with a terrible accent.

Very approximate,

borderline r*cist, it's him.

And he got on a flight for Countrystan.

Countrystan.

Let's go.

So it's a no on the flan?

Let's go.

Let's do this.

COUNTRYSTAN

The plane from Boston

just exploded in the air. That's a shame.

Low-cost companies aren't great.

Hello, are you Yuri?

I AM YURI

Yes.

Nice to meet you.

- Welcome to Countrystan.

- Thanks.

I do it.

- You drive?

- Really?

- Yes, me drunk.

- Okay.

Take my hat. Careful, it's pretty big.

Nice car.

Is it a hybrid?

I love this brand. Okay, let's go.

Did you take a dump in your car?

- Yes, me dump.

- That's what I thought.

I guess Pollux has told you everything.

Yes. Because I'm Yuri.

- And?

- And what, as*h*le?

Any instructions or information for me?

Drive, you'll see.

LICENSE

SURNAME: RI

FIRST NAME: YURI

DAY OF BIRTH: MONDAY

PLACE: MAIN STREEHow well do you know Pollux?

Thierry, get out of the frame!

No.

Thank you.

Interesting friends, Pollux.

The letter "D."

Yuri?

Hey, McWalter, what's up?

I'm good, you?

I'm not great.

I have to go the Smegma factory.

- Got any information for me?

- Yes.

This factory is very

Big.

That's it?

This factory is also very

- Pretty.

- Okay, see ya.

Wait, McWalter.

Look what I got.

It's a super confidential document

about the factory.

You'll find all the information you need.

I'm sh1tting blood!

This is worthless. Have a nice day.

Don't be like that. Wait! McWalter

Don't let me die alone.

You're not going to die.

Okay, you're going to die.

Pollux gave me a list

of weapons and gear for your mission.

- It's in a bag

- Great.

Can you just stop interrupting me?

I'm going to die!

Yuri, please.

I can't stand toxic behavior.

Go on, Yuri.

- Scotch tape.

- Yes.

And a banana.

- What about weapons?

- Didn't have time.

The list was too long.

I focused on the essentials.

- What's this?

- It's a tradition here.

When all hope is lost,

we eat this cookie.

And inside, there's a note

that will give you valuable advice.

I'll make good use of it.

And if you see Pollux,

tell him that

He was the best friend I ever had,

and that I think about him all the time.

We banged.

- He told me.

- He told you? Good luck.

McWal

Ter.

Rest in peace, Yuri.

SHERIFF'S BACKPACK

Welcome, nice to meet you.

We have a lot of respect for the a*s.

- Any sign of McWalter?

- Maybe.

We think your guy came through here.

Maybe we could drive next time.

No, Countrystanese police

don't have vehicles.

There's very little crime here,

so we don't get any money.

We're all volunteers.

But you found a lead very quickly.

We got lucky.

My son just moved in on this pile of sand.

- I'm 41!

- Gorbatshov Propaniev.

The worst scumbag in the world.

5'9", 240 pounds, 36 years old,

spent 12 years in prison.

From age 0 to 12. Born there.

Graduated high school, barely.

No kids, a house in Vermont in the US,

and a seafood restaurant in Wyoming.

It closed last year.

Nine employees lost their job overnight,

including her, Kareen Van Houten.

Who might she be, you ask?

Avril Lavigne's cousin.

- Did you know him?

- No.

It's just, two bodies in a row, it's sad.

It's a lot of bodies at once.

He was stabbed. We have nothing on him.

How did you tie him to McWalter?

Easy.

GO TO AIRPORPICK UP MCWALTER

We didn't have to do much.

Honestly, we've been getting lucky

over and over again.

Okay, I want all surveillance cameras

at the crossroad, to see where he went.

What the hell is this factory?

A mime?

It's my lucky day.

Sir?

Put that baseball bat down!

I don't want to hurt you.

I just have a few questions.

Give me the bat.

I need to know what happened here.

I know that the factory should be

running at full speed,

but this place looks like

it's only good for storing hobo piss.

I see.

Would this refresh your memory?

Okay, slow down.

This place used to be

full of joy and happiness.

But on a gloomy October day, a man came

with several bodyguards

who all had the letter "D"

tattooed on their arm.

Like the fake Yuri.

He bought the company,

overexploited the deposit,

and treated the workers like sl*ves.

Then, the factory closed down,

and you stayed here,

frozen like a piece of sh*t.

Why shut down the factory

if it was so productive?

You better not be wasting my time.

McWalter

You'd tell me if it was a trap?

I said it before, but I really hope

you're not wasting my time.

The business register.

No sale of Smegma recorded.

So he used the stock to make those bombs.

I need to find this "D."

What does he look like? Tell me.

On the day of the takeover,

he arrived in a gold-plated limousine,

surrounded by his minions.

Stop! Zoom in a bit.

More. More.

I can't see his face.

That's all we've got? Damn it!

Wait. His minions,

show me the scene again.

Not him. Not him.

Not him.

Him, what's he throwing in the air?

A casino chip.

Okay. Find all the gambling clubs in town.

Which ones allow non-white people?

Blackjack.

That's where I'm going.

Thank you, mime.

Wait, where is the footage?

Yes, one minute.

- Did you see anything?

- What?

Did you see a guy going that way?

I've been looking that way all morning!

Sorry, the footage is unusable.

Damn it. We're heading back to the States.

Thank you, great meeting you.

We had a lovely time.

- We're not leaving.

- I suggest

we comb the south part of the city

with a net.

Another team will leave some crumbs

on the north side in strategic locations.

If it works with fish,

it should work with criminals.

Okay, go!

Do you want a drink?

- I'll have a Sex on the Beach.

- We have water.

Fine.

- With ice?

- Yes, please.

- We don't have any.

- Excellent.

Excuse me. Are there a lot of people

who get tattoos on their arms here?

I guess so.

Small tattoos, like letters

From the alphabet.

Like an "A"? Or a "D"?

Or a "D"?

Or a "D," for example?

No idea. But I know

that our clients like discretion.

Wait, what kind of gaming circle is this?

A board game circle.

Rock, paper, scissors.

- One.

- Two.

- One.

- Two.

No.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the private game is about to start.

This is a private table, sir.

So,

what game are we playing?

- Truth or dare.

- Great, that's my favorite game.

I'm daring and I love the truth.

Let's start the game.

- Truth or dare?

- Dare.

Repeat "Six stick shifts stuck shut"

without being rude.

Six stick shifts stuck shut

Six stick shifts stuck shut

Six stick shifts stuck shut

- Six stick shifts stuck c**t

- Out.

- Truth or dare?

- Truth.

If one wanted

to get into ill*gal business,

who should one talk to around here?

You are very nosy.

I'm a Capricorn.

Have you ever had a b*ner in class?

In here, we shut up and we play.

Or we get out.

Truth or dare?

Truth.

Have you ever jizzed?

Yes.

At camp, in Nevada.

By the way, have you heard

from Da Dom Dam?

You know, the guy we all know

who likes factories

making some rather special stuffs.

- It's "stuff," not "stuffs."

- I hear you.

Dare.

Show us your boobies.

- Too bad.

- It's the final, gentlemen.

I'll choose for you.

All in.

So it's a dare.

Kiss your weenie.

I fold.

Well done.

- Congratulations.

- Thanks.

Boss, McWalter has found the hideout.

-Should we do something?

- No.

Let him come to us.

I've k*lled so many men this week.

Good for you, you're so lucky.

I haven't k*lled anyone,

I was with my family.

And I love to k*ll.

Guys, I'm planning a manhunt

this week. Who's in?

Me! I'm in!

What about you? Interested?

Well

Let's fight this week.

Patrice.

Excuse me.

Guys, I have a bad back.

I'm corrupted to the bone.

Hey, guys, who wants to launder money?

Delivery's coming up.

We need to get ready.

Being a minion is such a cool job.

I know.

So this is Smegma.

After the terrible shock waves

caused by McWalter's bombs,

who is still on the run,

scientists are raising the alarm.

Powerful earthquakes

and dangerous electromagnetic shifts

are happening all around the world.

These anomalies are creating

disturbing movements

of the tectonic plates. More to follow.

Everyone is asking the same question now.

Does the man behind all this

just want to terrorize the world

or does he want to destroy civilization?

Spring is coming

and the cherries are back

Okay. Got it.

- We got something.

- I'll call you back.

We got lucky big time.

My daughter-in-law just sold some glue

to coastguards. We've found him.

We are the world champions

of getting lucky!

We just keep on getting lucky!

Don't move.

Do I know you?

I'm McWalter. Everybody knows me.

What is this?

- An electric g*n.

- What?

You need to charge it.

There's only one b*llet.

I'm trying to be eco-friendly.

How do I recharge it?

You pull the trigger, you go get it,

- and you recharge.

- Seems complicated.

It is.

But every action counts

to save the planet.

I don't get it.

McWalter, stop the boat!

Get out of the vehicle, hands on the hull!

No!

Come on!

as*h*le!

Move, out of the way!

Hands up!

Hands up. We're too slow.

It's a matter of life and death.

A captain never abandons his ship.

I've been through hell and high water

and I've never left this cabin.

You know, I've sailed all the oceans,

all the seas, all the rivers.

Lakes, streams,

waterfalls, creeks,

puddles, pools, swimming pools,

- big pools, small ones

- Okay.

Sorry!

sh*t!

I need more power.

Let's put the pedal to the metal.

She's getting closer.

Jerk face.

It's too risky.

We need to stop and turn around.

- No!

- I'm going to puke.

We keep going!

sh*t!

Come on!

I'm going to puke!

Stop doing that!

They're right behind us.

I need more power.

It's broken.

Damn it!

We're going to get him.

Full speed! Come on!

Pollux gave me a list of weapons and gear.

It's in the bag.

Yes!

I didn't know pigs liked bananas.

I thought they only liked donuts.

Yes. Of course.

I can't hear you, the signal's bad.

Sure, let's do that, okay.

Have a nice day.

- Have a nice day.

- What?

Sorkin is awake.

He's expecting you

in his hospital room-office.

- Really?

- Yeah.

You have arrived at your destination.

BERMUDOS ISLANDS

Bro.

I missed you.

With your stupid face.

What the hell, guys?

Drop your g*ns, come on!

- I was aiming at the wasp.

- Me too.

- Same.

- Yep.

- I was doing the same thing.

- Okay!

Once, a buddy got stung on the tongue.

- Me too.

- Same! Yep!

He's right. It can be really dangerous.

A decaf!

- Two cups.

- Two!

Okay, on its way. Two cups of coffee!

I'm so happy to see you, bro.

You first.

What are you doing?

It's sugar, cookie, coffee,

then you drink.

You were gonna do cookie, sugar

instead of sugar, cookie.

The only guy I've ever seen doing that was

an American undercover agent

who was investigating

our criminal activities.

Are you an undercover agent

investigating our criminal activities?

- No!

- Good.

Let's do this.

Our favorite drink, bro.

Look, Drogan's here.

He's gonna be happy to see you.

Drogan, with a "D"?

With a "D," bro.

Wait, shut up, I'm looking at the boats.

Caution, b*mb!

What about her? Do you recognize her?

Tracy!

He's alive.

What's up?

Hi!

- Hello, handsome.

- No.

What's up, man?

Hey, what's up?

Why is he ignoring me? What did I do?

Don't take it personally. You don't know

what people are going through.

You're too sensitive, Richard.

Baconfield?

COUNTRYSTAN

WORLDISTAN

Worldistan!

That's me.

What the hell am I doing?

Bro.

The helping hand

that has been missing for centuries.

When did that happen?

b*mb!

The bombs, was it me?

Your temporal lobe

is damaged in multiple areas,

which prevents you

from accessing your memories.

-I did it?

-b*mb.

You're responsible for these attacks.

The evidence is damning.

I can't believe it.

I told you that your memory

would get you in trouble.

You know what you have to do.

Finally, it's about time.

- Boss, are you okay?

- Yes, feeling better.

Sorry for McWalter,

we were this close to catching him when

- You called.

- McWalter is innocent.

We've got a ton of evidence,

what else do you need?

- Come on.

- A story.

McWalter's story is not about terrorism.

It's of a kid abandoned by his parents.

An orphan who's been through

so much trauma

that he dedicated his life

to protecting others.

He would never hurt anyone.

Honestly, you're in denial.

Prove to me that he's innocent.

Or I'll keep thinking he's guilty.

Prove me wrong

and I will believe you.

All I have is my instinct.

And it's never been wrong about McWalter.

And if I may,

you should follow your instinct

every once in a while.

Okay, we have a man to catch.

Why are you never on my side?

Nothing I do is ever enough for you.

You don't need to catch McWalter

to find your place, Miranda.

The earthquakes are increasing.

The continents are starting to break.

One more expl*si*n

and everything will collapse.

The predictions are terrifying.

It will be the end of the world.

BREAKING NEWS

CONTINENTS: THE SITUATION IS CRITICAL

Boss, sorry, but it really looks

like you're in pain.

I said I'm fine.

- You're bleeding.

- Whatever.

Don't wait up!

I'll be there when I'm there.

Careful, the light is red.

I'll be fine...

Boss, are you okay?

- Miranda.

- Yes?

Come help me.

Miranda

Boss!

Boss

Miranda, find him.

Give him a chance to explain himself.

You're stronger together.

McWalter has many flaws,

but he's not a liar.

He never would've missed that game.

Boss, stay with me.

A Birds fan would never hurt a fly.

So if I don't get a VIP seat

Mr. Mayor, the coffin is going there.

My dear brothers,

my dear sisters,

we're all gathered today

to pay a final tribute

to the man who was a loving father,

a caring husband,

an exceptional coworker,

an executive with a great portfolio.

His death leaves a great hole

in our hearts.

Let's be united, my friends.

United against the only person

responsible for this very sad day.

That big fat m*rder*r, Miranda Velasquez.

- Big fat m*rder*r!

- Come on.

- k*ller!

- Big, fat k*ller.

The light was red.

Thank you.

We Birds fly high,

always higher.

Our enemies are coo-coo-coo-cooked.

I surrender.

I'm guilty.

I planted all those bombs.

I'm terrorizing the world.

My faulty memory has hidden

the truth from me for too long,

but now, I have no choice.

I should be in prison.

With Mexicans.

- I'll take care of it.

- Thanks.

Tighten the cuffs, please.

I really don't trust myself.

McWalter has been arrested.

After a manhunt across the globe,

he turned himself in

at Valry Sorkin's funeral today.

The world is now saved.

No more criminals, no more bombs.

The specialists and seismologists will now

have to find a solution

to resolidify the continents

and put this terrible situation behind us.

Pollux Gershwin,

the new director of the a*s,

invited us along to his appointment.

To the a*s!

To the a*s!

All done here? Can I clear?

Yes.

Take this too. I won't need it.

He was the man the whole world admired.

McWalter, the biggest US secret agent.

A hero who became an outcast.

A glorious rise

followed by a devastating fall.

A story that shocked America.

A broken man wandering naked

in the streets of Baconfield.

Stop him! He's gonna drown!

He would turn to terrorism.

What happened to turn

this national hero into a fallen criminal?

Pause it.

You're lucky I have that feature.

You shouldn't be here, Miranda.

What are you doing here?

We still don't have a new office,

and the Wi-Fi is pretty good. Thank you.

It's pretty quiet until 4:00 p.m.

Don't you think

that the a*s deserves better?

What do you want?

- We have to release McWalter.

- Yeah, right.

On September 12th, the Baconfield Birds

were playing a home game

against the Minneapolis Insects.

I know. They pecked at them.

McWalter has never missed a game.

Since he was a teenager.

That night, he was at the game. Look.

See, he's fighting

the other team's mascot.

On September 12th, at 8:08 p.m.,

a b*mb exploded in Beijing.

On September 12th, at 8:08 p.m.,

McWalter was urinating

on the Insects' mascot.

He got kicked out and missed the game.

Look, I've got the footage.

He pees and gets kicked out.

Of course he gets kicked out.

He didn't plant that b*mb.

Is that it? What about the other bombs?

Do we pretend like they never existed?

I'm sure we'll find evidence

to prove he's innocent.

Right now, we have to release McWalter.

If another b*mb explodes,

the consequences will be irreversible.

We need him.

He's the best, you know it.

He was the best.

You're quick to change sides.

You know, I would have given everything

to McWalter.

But now that he's different from

what I was projecting about me onto him,

my love has turned into a profound hate

and I wish him the worst.

The world is in danger.

The real person responsible

is still at large.

Do you want to make that public

and cause widespread panic

without checking the evidence first?

- So you're not gonna do anything?

- I have work to do.

You need your strength. We need you.

I came to get you out of here.

McWalter, are you okay?

b*mb.

b*mb!

b*mb!

b*mb!

It's all I think about.

All day long.

- Know what my favorite word is?

- No.

- b*mb.

- Okay.

- What am I thinking about?

- Leaving?

- The word "b*mb."

- Okay.

- My favorite movie?

- I don't know. Tick, tick Boom?

- No. James b*mb.

- We have to hurry.

- My favorite city?

- I get it, Bombay.

I'm a bombophobe.

No, you're a bombophile.

- Bombophile.

- If you like bombs

- I love bombs.

- Let's go.

No, I'm not going anywhere.

Because I'm the b*mber.

No, you're not.

You're innocent. I have proof.

You're not the b*mber!

You don't remember, but trust me.

I misjudged you.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry.

Stop doing that with your tongue.

- Okay, let's go.

- I'm not going anywhere.

Get a grip, come on.

Let me make bombs!

Okay, I'm not the b*mber.

Can you run?

Yes.

I'm gonna park the car.

Well done.

I got a little c*ck, I know.

We need to find clues

before Pollux gets here.

I don't get it.

It was me in the photos, with the bombs.

What else did you see in Countrystan?

I know you have a faulty memory,

but any detail could help.

I saw Drogan.

The guy who died k*lling your wife?

Because he really did die

k*lling your wife.

- b*stard!

- Biker!

McWalter has escaped.

Miranda Velasquez helped him.

Everyone, put your shoes back on,

let's go!

Think about the planet, damn it.

Hello?

Damn it.

Okay.

b*stard!

You do it, my hands hurt.

Stop!

sh*t!

It's better if you Thanks.

What's that?

McWalter, no!

Velasquez, hands up!

You're under arrest.

Now, let's go back to where it all started

for our favorite agent.

On your left,

Baconfield's International Orphanage,

where McWalter lived when he was younger.

McWalter.

That will be your name, my baby.

- Hi.

- Hi.

What's your name?

Drogan.

Hey, baldy, we're gonna get you!

You bald b*stard! Bald b*stard!

a*s-head! a*s-head!

Where is he? Find him!

No, let me go!

- Stupid a*s-face!

- Let me go!

Stop, please!

Nobody's gonna protect you.

Please!

I didn't do anything!

- Let him go!

- Stop!

- Let him go!

- Stop!

- I'm gonna k*ll you!

- Let him go!

Get out of here!

Don't worry, I'll always be there

to protect you.

If we ever leave this place,

we'll do it together.

I like this one.

We'll take him.

My name is Drogan. I'm from Countrystan.

- And I have a project.

- To have hair?

A project, an ideal.

To free my country

from Western enslavement

and make it the center of the world.

A new world!

Free from all inequality.

But I need a hand.

The helping hand

that's been missing for centuries.

Wipe your a*s-head with it!

And with this hand,

I'm going to change the world.

It will be a perfect world!

And I will call it Worldistan!

Or Assholistan!

Get lost, a*s-head!

Get out of here.

- Go wash your hair.

- I like him.

He looks like Kirikou.

Okay, Tracy. We'll take him,

but you have to take care of him.

- Tracy

- Move.

Oh, my God, did I marry my sister?

McWalter!

You promised you wouldn't leave me.

- You promised!

- Here, Drogan.

Take my hat,

so no one will make fun of you.

- Come on.

- McWalter!

- I'll never forget you.

- McWalter!

- Drogan!

- McWalter!

I can't believe it, despite all the chaos,

all the debris seems to converge

at this location.

You're right, there is something there.

It's Countrystan.

That's where Drogan is from.

He's behind all the attacks.

Yes, he is alive and his plan is clear.

He wants to destroy the world.

So you can arrest me,

but if you want to save the world,

you shouldn't.

Don't arrest him. Let McWalter talk.

Really? I barely had to convince you.

When you were at your lowest,

I enjoyed dragging you down,

but now you're a hero again,

and I want to admire you again

and forget myself

and put myself in psychological danger.

Great. Drogan has been planning this

since he was a kid.

And it's not over.

There's still his big finale.

He's going to reactivate

a devastating volcanic rift

that has been contained for centuries.

How do you know that?

We were at the orphanage together.

He told me about his project,

I remembered it.

You remembered?

Yes. My memory is back to normal.

I can name every single person here.

Laquisha, Jacqueline,

Dickwill, Chansey,

Dwayne, Johnson, Mario, Luigi,

Pipo, Kennedy,

Bobango, and David.

That was all wrong, McWalter.

Okay, but I remembered what matters.

So, please, forget about your egos

for a minute.

Okay, let's go.

I won't go anywhere

without Miranda Velasquez.

- Release her immediately.

- Velasquez.

Happy to see you, McWalter.

- Tell me about it.

- I just did.

You did?

Okay, let's go to Countrys

Okay, that was fast.

COUNTRYSTAN

Not for me, Miranda.

Someone has to protect

the planet around here.

DROGAN'S VILLA

Bro.

Why are you hiding with this woman?

We were banging.

THEY WERE BANGING

Okay.

What are these crappy outfits?

You can't go to the party

dressed like that.

You look like two pieces of crap.

Crappy butts.

Butts that crap.

Crap, butts.

Evening.

Evening, how are you?

- Morning.

- It's evening, actually.

Evening.

Evening.

Evening. Evening.

Pollux, do you hear me?

-Yeah.

I'm here.

-Try to blend in.

The security guards are on the lookout.

Don't worry, I'm hiding by the entrance.

No one can see me.

Just like a thermal camera,

I'm undetectable.

McWalter is not

the only master of disguise.

Do you have a cigarette?

Of course.

sh*t.

Good evening, my dear friends.

Welcome.

We're here tonight

to celebrate the new world.

But first, I would like

to thank you for your donations.

All your donations have already been used

to plant the bombs

that have exploded around the world

and reduced it to rubble.

And tonight, we're going

to gather the ruins of this world

in our dear nation, Countrystan,

to create

Worldistan.

And my country will finally have access

to all the resources

that were taken from it.

From the Statue of Liberty

to the Great Wall of China,

and the me gas tore in Grenoble,

everything will now

belong to Worldistan.

Wait a minute, I'm confused.

I didn't sign up for this.

Wasn't it "All united for the world"?

Not exactly.

ALL UNITED FOR WORLDISTAN

I thought it was a typo.

Me too, but we didn't dare say anything.

Now, let's wake up an old friend.

This is a remote control.

And this

This is a Drogo-strap.

A Drogo-strap?

Drogan-strap.

- The strap

- Wouldn't want to lose it.

Ladies and gentlemen,

just like this volcanic rift

that nature has so generously offered us

and which has been asleep

for so many years,

tonight, Countrystan will wake up.

My yacht!

Don't be afraid.

Don't be afraid.

You're safe here.

Take it easy. Relax.

Breathe, and enjoy the show.

Everybody, raise your hands

-Reggae

-Welcome to the new world

-Rasta

-Thank you, Drogan, for Worldistan

Thank you, Drogan, for Worldistan

McWalter, we have to do something.

- Okay, after the chorus.

- No, McWalter.

I'll get the remote control.

We need to close that rift.

- You handle Drogan.

- Okay.

- Pollux, you're with me.

- Okay.

I'll be there in five seconds.

No, I'll see you there.

Drogan.

How are you alive? I k*lled you.

Science.

That's all I can say, it's all

Science. Some things are beyond us.

Astonishing.

After you

Abandoned me,

I was all alone.

Everybody continued to make fun of me

because I had nothing.

And one day, I fell in love too.

With science.

With life.

With the Earth.

With biology, then.

Yes, biology.

It's better than being in love

with your sister.

She was my wife before she was my sister.

Just the opposite.

I think you know each other.

The b*stard.

Let me introduce you.

McWalter, this is

WacMalter.

No I like that. WacMalter?

I like that.

I called him "McWalter's clone."

Wasn't it a brilliant idea to create

a copy of the best agent in the world?

McWalter is immortal,

McWalter is unstoppable.

Nobody can stop McWalter.

Except himself.

How did you clone me?

- It was that simple?

- Science.

Just science, really.

- That's all.

- Why?

We were like brothers.

You promised we'd leave

the orphanage together.

- You betrayed me.

- Yes.

But why did you blow up the a*s?

Maybe just to hear you say that out loud.

- You won't get out of here alive.

- Do I look worried?

b*stard.

Unbelievable.

Just unbelievable.

I'm outside. I have the remote.

Drop the remote.

Or I'll sh**t you with my g*n.

One

This can't be.

You're blocking everything I do.

I'm you, but better.

I know all your moves.

Even this one?

Two

You're counting very slowly.

- Three.

- Let's go!

Bro?

Let her go, Drogan.

Come on.

Well, McWalter? Too scared to sh**t?

Is this bringing back some memories?

Come on, McWalter, you can do it.

You're the best agent in the world.

I'm sorry, Drogan.

I'm sorry I abandoned you.

You were like a brother to me.

I will probably never recover

from my wife's death,

but I understand that your revenge

came from your suffering.

So, there it is.

I'm sorry.

If only you had said that sooner.

What?

I would never have

I wouldn't have committed

all these crimes.

I wouldn't have terrorized the world.

I would have started over

and accepted myself in people's eyes.

I feel like I've lost so many years.

It's crazy that a single word

can change your life.

Really?

But your stupid big bald head isn't

going to change.

You're still bald, even with the hair,

you bald piece of sh*t.

I'm gonna have to point this g*n

at you again, Miranda.

- McWalter?

- Stupid baldy.

I'm not bald.

- Yes, you are.

- Wait, so I have two brothers?

Not exactly.

This man is my clone. Drogan created him.

It's my clone who planted the bombs.

And now, we work together.

- Okay.

- Why didn't you swap places?

You apologize and he uses the remote.

I never apologize,

and that's not going to change now.

- You stupid baldy.

- I'm not bald!

What about all the innocent people

you're going to k*ll?

They didn't do anything.

Because they're innocent.

What happened to young Drogan?

That sweet, kind, bald little boy.

You turned him into a monster.

Worldistan must live, and you know it.

- No one can change my mind.

- Police, no one move!

No use sh**ting, it's armored

Oh, no, it's not.

It's going right through.

It's just a prototype.

Hey, Drogan.

You have a strand out of place.

No!

Are you proud of me, Sorkin?

I didn't see. What happened?

I followed my instinct.

I didn't see that, sorry.

Wac, stay with me. Stay with me.

Wac! Wac!

Wac, stay with me!

Stay with me, stay.

You're the best clone I ever had.

We saved the world, Wac.

TWO ARE STRONGER THAN ONE

Miranda, Pollux. What a surprise.

- A good surprise?

- You tell me.

McWalter, we need you.

I was banished from the a*s, right?

Yes.

But not from the c**t.

c**t.

Country Unit for National Threats.

I'm proud to be the director

of this new agency

that fights all kinds of crimes.

Congratulations, Miranda.

- You've been busy.

- Yes.

Crime never takes a break.

Then crime has never been to the Bahamas.

- Or Biarritz.

- Yeah.

Thank you, Miranda,

but that's all behind me now.

I told you it was my last mission.

By the way, this is my last mission.

I don't remember that.

I don't either.

It must have been cut.

Then I'd love to.

But on one condition.

Follow me.

Watch your step.

- Okay.

- You're welcome.

I'm not going anywhere without them.

McWalter.