03x16 - Art of Surprise

[bunniefuu]

You didn't know about this?

Hell no I didn't
know about this!

[Fatima] Previously onZatima...

-Look.
-Damn!

[Angela] Yeah, I'm all
over these fetish sites.

-Oh! Fatima?
-Leslie?

Zac, what you need to do is go
to the hospital and apologize.

Jeremiah can
still press charges on you.

-Angela? Hey.
-What the he--Bryce.

I got an alert that
the police were here.

[Zac] What the f*ck!?

-f*ck!
-What the hell, Zac?

Have you lost your damn--

What the hell's wrong with you?

-sh*t!
-Who are you?

-Oh, sh*t.
-Are you okay, Malachi?

Hello?
I said, who are you?

Okay, sorry.

What the hell is wrong with him?

Me? Are you--

Somebody better start talking.

No. Let's go.

Why are you in my house anyway?

Come on, honey, we're leaving.

-Baby--
-What the f*ck?

Hold up, hold up.

This is just a misunderstanding.

Make me understand
before I really get active.

Like, this, this that time.

I'm Malachi.
This is my wife, Leslie.

And you must be Zac.

Who are y'all?

We're old friends of Fatima's.

And why are you here?

She was running late,

and she told us
where the spare key was,

so we came in.
And I'm sorry about all this.

It's just I love this woman

and I can't keep
my hands off of her.

[giggles] Silly.

My fault, okay?
It's my fault.

Well, this is
a hell of a way to meet.

Malachi, I apologize.

I didn't mean to
throw you over the table.

It's all good.
You didn't know.

No, I didn't.

Um, where is--where is Fatima?

She said she was close by.

You know,
we can just wait outside.

No, no, no, please, no, no, no.
Please stay.

Thank you.

I'm, I'm sorry, y'all.

You know you
really favor her, though.

Yeah, I know.

Okay, just--
I'm gonna get in the shower.

-Just, that was the confusion--
-[Leslie] It's fine.

Please make yourself at home.

We're just gonna sit
over here with the glasses.

You know, maybe wipe it off...

Yes, you can wipe off
the counter where your a*s was.

-I eat there.
-Okay!

[Zac] Okay? All right.

Okay? All right.

♪ Love ain't perfect

♪ But we still workin'

♪ Ain't gonna be
what we see on TV ♪

♪ But it's damn sure
worth it, uh-huh ♪

♪ Love ain't perfect

♪ But we still workin'

♪ Don't gotta be
what we see on IG ♪

♪ 'Cause we still worth it

♪ Uh-huh

♪ Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Do, do, do, do-do-do-do-do

♪ We still workin'

♪ I know I make
you feel some way ♪

♪ That's not my fault

♪ I'm on a wave now

♪ Don't want you fallin' off

♪ You better say
you had enough ♪

♪ It's just the face
got you so in lust ♪

Wait!

[Bryce] Yeah?

Come here.

Come on.

Okay, what, what, what is it?

How did this
end up on the internet?

Angela, I don't know
what's going on.

What are you talking about?

[Angela] Bryce, look!

What the hell?

How did this happen?

Why is there a video
of me on the internet!?

Bryce!

Oh, no.

What?

Okay, this is--this is
a little embarrassing,

but I was...

I was watching some freaky porn,

and I got an email saying

that I needed to pay
them 10,000 bitcoin

or they were gonna
release a video of me

jacking off on the internet.

Wait, this is not
making any sense.

How did they get a video of you?

Yeah, I know, but...

Well... Okay, look.

So if you have your camera on,

and you click
on one of these sites,

they can hack your camera
and, you know,

see everything
that you're doing.

But--
[stammers]

Are you kidding me?

[Bryce] Yeah,
you won't even know.

But I always--
I always cover my camera,

so I knew that
they didn't get me.

Okay, but...

They did hack
my passwords, though,

and they got my email.

Bryce...

I changed the passwords
to all of my accounts.

So, I, I--
I mean, I changed...

all of them except for that one.

-Bryce...
-I'm, I'm really sorry.

No, you are making me
so mad right now.

I'm sorry.
I know, hold on.

I'm gonna fix this, okay?
I'm gonna fix this.

How are you gonna fix this?
I need this video taken down!

You're gonna take it down?
I mean, you look so good in it.

Bryce... Bryce!

Okay, okay, I'm sorry.

I need this down
immediately, okay?

Just hold on a second.

Let me just...
Let me make some calls, okay?

Who the hell are you gonna call?

I don't know.
I don't know, Angela.

Just let me think
for a second, okay?

Bryce!

I'm really sorry, okay?
Please forgive me.

I...

Bryce, you're always sorry!
sh*t!

I'm gonna figure this out.

I'm gonna figure this out.

[laid-back music]

[crickets chirping]

-You see?
-What?

I told you not to start.

You know I can't
keep my hands to myself.

And I can say the same.

[Leslie giggles]

I bet you can't.

Guys, I am...
sorry I'm late.

[Malachi] It's no problem.

What happened here?

Somebody wanna
tell me something?

You wanna tell him, Malachi?

I'll let you do the honors.

Well, I was in the kitchen,
minding my business,

just getting some wine,

and then this one
saw me bend over

and couldn't keep
his little hands to himself.

This is true.

Okay, and...then what?

Then your man walked in
and saw us kissing,

and I guess he thought I was you

because then he decided to
throw Malachi over the table.

Okay, some reason,
probably because

your hair is just like mine now.

Um...are y'all good?

Yeah, we fine.

All right, I'ma go check on him.
All right? I'll be back down.

All right.

Sorry.

[bright music]

Hey!

Hey.

Not surprised to see me?

No, I'm not.

Maybe that's because you
knew Jeremiah was alive.

Yeah.

And you knew that yesterday.

-Yeah, I did.
-Ah, okay.

Why didn't you...

come get me out?

Zac, I don't wanna
talk about this right now.

Oh, so we on--
we on your schedule?

Look, I have friends downstairs,
all right?

Oh, I know! I seen them!

People that I don't even
know invited in my house.

Yeah, you wouldn't know them.

Why? Why wouldn't I know them?

I didn't know
you were gonna be here.

Oh, that's right,
because you left me in jail.

Zac, can we just not do this?
We don't have a door.

I don't know
whose idea that was.

We don't have a door.
They can hear everything.

Fine!

[Zac] You're not
closing no door on me.

I gotta pee!

-So then go pee!
-[Fatima] Get out!

No, I've been in here
while you pee before!

-Zac, get out!
-[Zac] No!

Look, I do not wanna
talk about this, okay?

Fine.

How about we do that thing
where I talk and you listen?

All right, do I have a choice?

No.

So.

You were right.

Okay, yes, you were right.
I should've never done it.

But you are gonna be my wife
and the mother of my child.

What else was I supposed to do?

Let the police handle it.

No!

Zac, so you're not even sorry.

I am sorry!

Are you?

'Cause if he had died,
you would've ruined everything.

[Zac] I know.

I know.

Did you want him to die?

No, I didn't want him to die!

I just wanted him to know that

he can't put his
hands on you ever!

Well I'm pretty sure he got that
point

Yeah, I'm pretty sure he did

But how about this?
In the future,

if something like this happens,
don't tell me.

[inhales]
I tried to do that.

Yeah, mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yes, yes, you did.

'Cause I knew you was
gonna act a damn fool.

Exactly.

Look, Zac, I love you.
I really, really do.

But if you keep doing
dumb sh*t like this,

I don't know if
I can allow myself

to love you like I want to.

You know what's funny?
A lot of women

would love for
their man to just act a fool

and protect them
once in a while.

Are, are you kidding me?

Just saying.

Zac, yes, women want their
man to protect them, okay?

But they don't want them
going out doing dumb sh*t

that's gonna
jeopardize everything.

I know.

There was a time where my mother
was arguing with some man

over a parking spot
at the grocery store,

and I told her to call my dad.

And she refused to do it.

-You know why?
-Why?

Because my father
was in the military.

And she knew
he would k*ll that man.

And we would've regretted it.

My dad would've end up in jail

all over arguing with
some crazy-a*s white man.

I get it.

And my mom knew
he would've protected her.

Zac, but she loved
him enough to not even

put him in that situation.

-I get it!
-[Fatima] Do you get it?

-Yes, I get it!
-Okay.

I had plenty of time
to think about it

-when I was inside.
-Well, I would hope so.

I promise you.

All right.

Can, can you get out?

I really need to
use the bathroom.

Go pee!

Zac, I gotta sh*t, okay?
Can you go?

-Yeah.
-I'ma get out.

[Fatima] Can you go
get them some more wine?

Um, them two don't need
no more wine, seriously.

The woman, though,
you know she kinda resemble you.

I know!

[Zac] My bad.

You all right?
You look kinda...

Must be seepin' a little bit.
I can smell you.

[Fatima] Get out!

It's not good to hold it in.
That's--

[Fatima] Get out!

-Your digestive system--
-[Fatima] You're still talkin'.

You got toilet paper?
I just--

[Fatima] Get out!

[upbeat music]

[Leslie] It's okay.
[laughs]

-What's up?
-What's going on?

-Are you good, Malachi?
-Yeah, I'm good.

-Good.
-Sorry about the confusion.

No, no, no, it's my fault.
Trust me, it's my fault.

I get why you were upset.

You get it?

Well, I was taken back by
how quickly it escalated.

What do you mean?

You didn't even
try to see who it was.

Okay, so just think about it
for one second

from my perspective.

I walk in my house, right?

Y'all two goin'
at it, all right?

You do look like Fatima
down to the hair.

Like, look,
you got the same hair.

What would you have done?

I mean, don't ask me.

Baby, tell him
what you would have done.

I woulda just made sure
I was seeing what I was seeing

-at first.
-Okay, then what?

And then I would've
realized it wasn't you.

[Leslie] Mm.

But if it was?

All bets are off.

Yeah. Well, I see you are
just a bit more rational.

-[Malachi] Baby?
-What?

Zac is not as trained as I am.

What the f*ck does that mean?

I was in the military.

So? How do you know
I wasn't in the military?

-Were you in the military?
-No, but that ain't the point.

-How you know I'm not trained?
-Never mind.

No, no, no, talk.
Speak up, speak up.

Well, the way you threw me
off of her was just...

Just...

Street style. No training.

Oh, oh, just 'cause
you trained to go.

-Yeah.
-Yeah, okay.

-Seriously.
-I believe you.

You--great training,
gettin' up off the floor.

Trained you well to get up,
you know what I'm saying?

-You have the art of surprise.
-Right.

-[Leslie] Show him, baby.
-Surprise, surprise.

No, no...

No, he want to know!
Don't you, Zac?

I do. I do wanna know.

-Yeah.
-No, no, no, babe.

Oh, come on, baby.

Don't be modest!
Come on, Malachi!

-Show him!
-You sure?

I'm positive. Get up.

Show him, baby.

Don't hurt yourself, now.

-Let me get this.
-Thank you, baby.

Mm-hmm. All right.

-So we were like this.
-Mm-hmm.

Now, come at him like this.

Hold on, baby.
This, this might hurt.

I'm a man. Relax.

I mean...

You mean what?
Just do it!

Like, what should we do?

-All right.
-Come on.

-Okay.
-So we were like this.

-[Zac] Uh-huh.
-No, no, no.

You gotta come at him
like you did.

-Okay, you ready, Malachi?
-Let's go.

-[Zac] Okay.
-So we were like this.

And I was like boom, boom.

[grunts]

Oh, f*ck!

What the hell is
going on down here?

A lesson, that's all.
You see?

Huh? Huh, baby?
Did you see?

-Man get off me.
-Hm, mm-hmm.

Damn.

You okay?

What is going on here?

Malachi was just showing Zac
what would've happened

had he seen him coming
earlier.

-[Malachi] Sure you okay?
-You see, then, don't you?

I'm fine.
You need to get this one.

So are we done with
the little boy games?

[Leslie] I hope so.

How your back feel, baby?

Baby?

You know, see...
we've been waiting for you.

So I ordered us some food

because it's getting
too late to cook.

-Um, Leslie, still vegan?
-Yeah.

And Malachi, you still
like all kinds of meat?

You still remember.

Yes, and honey,
I got us our usual.

"All kinds of meat"?
What's that about?

You sure you good, Zac?

I'm good.

You're gonna have to
teach me that move someday.

-Okay.
-Yeah, no.

Why not?

Nothing.
Let's set the table.

-Okay.
-Come on.

[laid-back music]

I really like your house.

Thanks.

What do you do?

Real estate.

[Malachi] That's great.

You?

I'm an FBI agent.

-What?
-[Malachi] Yeah.

You just can say that
all willy-nilly like that?

Yeah, I can.
I'm not Secret Service.

Oh, I see, I see.

Business going good?

You tell me.

What do you mean?

How long y'all been friends?

Like, 20 years?

Ah, okay, okay, okay.

[Malachi] Why?

No, I just...can tell

you probably know
about me already.

Probably ran me already, right?

-Zac...
-No, I can tell

-by what you said earlier.
-What'd I say?

It wasn't what you said,
but it was how you looked at me.

I could tell you
already know all about me, so--

-Zac, come on--
-No, what you wanna know?

You wanna know my prison time?

What you wanna know?
Talk to me.

Look, I also know
that sh*t happens,

and with young Black men
who make mistakes in this life.

Did you?

None that got me locked up,
but I made a few.

It be like that sometimes,
don't it?

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

But it's, um...

It's no judgement here.

I'm happy that Fatima's happy.

[chuckles] Nice.

Um, when's the last
time y'all spoke?

It's been a long time.

We were overseas,
but it's good to see her.

It's like no time
had passed at all.

That's good.
That's really good.

What's wrong?

Nothing. Nothing.

[Malachi] You sure?

What, are you reading
my body language or something?

Well, matter of fact, I am.

"Matter of fact, I am."

What is my body language
saying now?

You're suspicious.

You're good.

Are you that way with everyone?

No.

Let me guess--
just with new people.

Well, I mean, she hasn't
really mentioned you, so...

makes me suspicious.

I don't know why.

I know. I don't know why either.

Hopefully we can get to
the bottom of that at dinner.

Yeah, maybe we can.

Yeah.

♪ Let's keep it a hunnid

♪ You can't tell me nothin'

♪ I be 'bout my business

♪ You too busy bluffin'

♪ Call it out, this cat

♪ 'Caught up in a trap

[line trilling]

[phone ringing and buzzing]

I gotta take this.

Hello?

-Girl.
-[Fatima] Yeah.

It was Bryce.

Angie, you're kidding me.

[Angela] No.

Why would he do that?

He said he didn't upload it
and that he got hacked.

Do you believe him?

[Angela] I don't know.

sh*t, I mean,
these are fetish sites,

and he does have a fetish, so...

[Fatima] Angela,
I don't know about that.

sh*t, and he made me
lose my old n*gga!

Okay, Angela, I, um, I have...

I have company right now.

Yeah, that's why I was calling.

Did you talk to
them about me yet?

Well, I just got home
just a minute ago, so...no.

Fatima, I need this
taken down immediately.

I know, I got ya,
I'm gonna talk to them.

Fatima, now, please.

Okay, girl, listen.
We're about to have dinner.

I'll talk to them
in private after, okay?

Okay.
Okay.

Please, call me back
as soon as it's done.

I will. I gotta go, okay?

Okay. Yeah, bye.

Bye, girl.

[sighs]

This is so nice.

Thank you.

So...

Yes?

I just had a question.

Go on.

Zac was really mad.

Zac has a lot
goin' on right now.

Yeah, but
he automatically assumed

you were in here
with another man.

I don't--I don't think
that's what he thought.

He did.

I mean, you do look
a little like me,

and your hair is...
exactly like mine.

Okay, you know I was about
your style a little bit.

I see. A little bit.
It looks good on you, girl.

-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.

But, you know,
Malachi never would've just

jumped to conclusions like that.

Well, Zac has a way of doing it.

He's a hot head.

He's a work in progress.

Mm-mm, I don't like it.

Leslie, it is fine.

I was lookin' him up.

[sighs] Leslie...

Look, you know you my girl,

but the robbery
conviction is a lot.

-Okay, he was young.
-Yeah, but the video of him

beating up his brother,
wasn't it?

Okay. You know me, right?

Yeah.

Okay, and you know what
I will and will not put up with.

Yeah, I do.

All right.

Look, Zac is a really good man.

I mean, a really,
really good man.

Okay.

So it's...it's fine.

Okay.

All right.

Can we just enjoy dinner?

-Come on, girl.
-Thank you.

Definitely want some wine.

I know you like
your wine, so come on.

Yeah, you do.
I hope it's a good one.

[Fatima] Oh, it is.

[laid-back music]

Damn, this good!

See, I remembered.

You have a good memory.

Yeah, I mean,
how could I forget?

Mm, "How could I forget?"

Malachi never forgot either.

Fatima this, Fatima that.

[Fatima] Okay, whatever.

Oh yeah?

Yeah, it was crazy.

What was crazy about it?

Okay, I, I think
you've had enough wine.

Oh!

What?

Nothin'.

I see you still hold a secret.

And I see you still
can't hold your alcohol.

No, but we don't hold secrets.

[sighs]

I don't know how
a relationship can be healthy

-with secrets.
-Baby, that's enough.

I agree.

No, they're ready for it!
They're engaged now.

I don't think that's smart.

I agree with him. It's not.

And it's not
the time to do this.

Look, part of
the reason why we left--

-Okay, not.
-Yeah, this is not the time.

Zac, these two were in love.

-[Malachi] Baby!
-[Leslie] What?

He was her dream man
and she loved him.

And, you know,
I was her best friend.

And I screwed up,
but we all screw up, you know?

And we hooked up--
just tellin' him!

We hooked up
and we fell in love after.

[Malachi] Baby, that's enough.

Malachi didn't wanna tell her,

so she ended up catching us,

and we didn't talk
for years after that.

Just tellin' him.
It's okay.

Wow, this is--
this is fascinating.

All right.

That's why I was surprised
when you invited us here.

I still don't know
why you did that, Fatima.

I'm kind of curious too,
you know what I'm saying?

I know you forgave
him and everything.

But why? Why are they here?

Right. And you know,
after we left the gym,

he asked me to get
my hair done just like yours.

And that's when it hit me
that he's still not over you.

Hm. He always compared me
to you.

It's like when
you walked away from him,

he just settled for me
or something like that.

Just little old me.

So I spend every day
trying to be Fatima.

That's fascinating.

That's not true.

You have said
how much you missed her,

and if you ever had
another chance--

[Fatima] Okay,
just stop it!

-I know he called you.
-What?

I know y'all met last week.

-No, we did not.
-I know, come on.

What?

Fatima, I know.

I saw you coming out
his hotel room.

Like, y'all plans.
Zac needs to know this.

They will forever be in love.

You need to stop with the lies!

You know what?
Y'all don't play games today.

Is this you? Hm? Hm?

What the?

It look like you.

Don't, don't it
look like her, Zac?

She in the bed with him.

-Leslie--
-No.

Look at the date of the picture.

The contacts here, glasses here,
everything checking out?

-Oh, I see--
-[Fatima] Seriously?

Look!
So what you gonna do, Zac?

[tense music]

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