01x03 - Clint Bowyer vs. Jimmie Johnson

[bunniefuu]

Carson: Come on!

Let's go! Whoo!

♪ Just a good ol' boy

♪ Never meanin' no harm

[Cheers and applause]

♪ Beats all you never saw

♪ Been in trouble with the law

♪ Since the day they was born

♪ Makin' their way Come on, Blake!

♪ The only way they know how

♪ Yeah

♪ That's just a little bit more
than the law will allow ♪

Come on!

♪ Just a good ol' boy

♪ Wouldn't change
if they could ♪

♪ Fightin' the system like
a true modern-day Robin Hood ♪

[Cheers and applause]

Nikki: Whoo!

[Cheers and applause]

Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome the belle
of the bar, Nikki Bella!

That's right.

Give it up for Blake Shelton
and his band!

[Cheers and applause]

All right, welcome
to "Barmageddon."

Whoo!

We got the incredible
Carson Daly behind the bar.

Say what up to Carson.

And we're here
at Blake Shelton's bar,

Ole Red, in Nashville,
Tennessee, aka Music City.

[Cheers and applause]

Now, I say we just get
right into it

and see who's facing off
tonight.

What do you guys say?

[Cheers and applause]

So, first, it's one of the
greatest racecar drivers ever,

seven-time NASCAR Cup
Series Champion Jimmie Johnson.

Whoa!

Ohh!

My hero! My hero!

And his opponent, someone who
has never beat Jimmie Johnson,

former racecar driver, now
commentator for NASCAR on Fox,

Clint Bowyer.

[Cheers and applause]

I've heard of him too.

All right, well,
welcome, gentlemen.

We are so happy
to have you guys here.

And I'm going to get
ahead of it and apologize now

that we will not be racing
any cars this evening.

So you have a chance,
Clint.

[Laughter]

Thanks, Blake.

But I will not apologize for
the five incredible bar games

that you're gonna be
playing tonight.

[Cheers and applause]

You guys aren't playing
for yourselves.

You actually are playing
for the two viral VIPs

that we have sitting
right there.

We here at "Barmageddon"

believe that everyone
deserves a second chance,

especially when you've become
internet famous for screwing up.

[Laughter and applause]

Okay, Jimmie,
your viral VIP is Omar,

and let's see why
we've brought him here.

Hey, buddy.

Oh, Omar is in shape.

You look much taller
in the video.

[Laughter]

Oh, look. Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

Oh, face plant!

Ohh!

Nikki: Wow.That's cool.

I mean, I don't think
I've ever seen anyone belly flop

on land before,
but you made it look good.

Now, Clint, we are gonna meet
your viral VIP, Sam.

Let's just take a look.Come on, Sam,
let's see what you got!

Oh, Sam.

It was a whole six pack.

I'm not partying
at Sam's house anytime soon.

Carson:
There's glass everywhere.

[Laughter and applause]

Wait a minute. I want to know.
I want to know what happened.

Did you go straight back
to the convenience store?

I went straight inside
and grabbed a bottle of vodka.

Smart man.That's what
I would have done.

Jimmie and Clint, do you say
you guys are ready for this?

I am.Let's go. Let's go.

Start your engines.

[Cheers and applause]

Okay, everyone. So, our first
game of the night is Beer Bombs.

Yeah? Mm-hmm.

You guys will be trying
to throw your 10 giant ba*ls

into our 10 giant cups.

[Laughter]

And just like classic beer pong,

if you get the ball in,
we'll remove a cup.

The red cups
are worth 1 point,

and that yellow one in the
middle, that's worth 2 points.

Got it.Okay, so one more thing.

You see this giant red-and-black
flannel-covered arm

swinging from the rafters?

That is literally a life-sized
replica of Blake's arm.

Look at this.Look at that.

Don't fall.

That's land's end,people.

Yeah, it is.
And you know what?

It moves just like that.

So, don't let that block
your shot.

Very arthritic.

So, we are gonna have
a coin flip

to determine who goes first.

And, Jimmie, since you came
to set first today,

we're gonna have you call it,
heads or tails.Thank you.

Oh, I love Jimmie Johnson.
I love him.

I'm a big fan
of Jimmie Johnson.

Oh, the best.

Okay, so we got
the Blake Mullet Coin here,

business in the front,
which is our heads,

and then we have
a good, old party in the back,

which is our tails.

I'm going with the party
in the back.

I like you.

Okay, let's see.

Oh, we're doing business today.

Oh!
Aww!

So, Clint, you guys want
to go first or second?

Definitely first.Oh, hell, yeah.

So, the best of luck
to you both,

and I say
let's get Beer Bombed.

Let's do this!
Yeah!

All right, Sam,
you ready?
Oh, I'm ready.

Clint's ready.

Cue the arm.

There we go.

Okay, there we go.

Like it, yes!

All right, let's hear it
for Clint, guys. Come on.

[Cheers and applause]

He got a 2.

Boom!Clint made a number 2.

Blake: Hey, it was important
to get that 2 first, right?

For the first time
in your life,

you're actually beating
Jimmie Johnson.

That's right.
This will never happen again.

Don't let your happiness show
too bright here.

All right, so Team Clint
has 2 points so far.

Come on, Nashville,
Jimmie needs you.

Come on!

Blake: Come on, Jimmie,
you're a champion.

[Crowd groans]

We are talking
lap-down material.

All right.Come on, Sam.

One second and then...

[Crowd groans]

In and out.

Omar, come on.
You need a point here.

Carson:
Oh, there it is.

[Cheers and applause]

Nice work.That's nice.

They're catching us, Sam.
They're catching us.

Team Clint with 2,
and now Team Jimmie with 1.

All right, Clint.

[Cheers and applause]

Clint: Boom!

[Cheers and applause]

Yeah! That is two laps
down now, Jimmie.

All right, tell them
to get a lap back.Carson: Come on, Jimmie.

All right,
let's do this.

Here we go.

Oh! Like a boss.

Yes, see?

Jimmie Johnsonis back.

It's a game now.

He got his lap back?
This is bullshit.

Team Clint with 3,
Team Jimmie with 2. Let's go.

Clint will figure out a way

to still lose this,
I promise you.

All right, let's go.All right.

Ooh! Oh.

[Cheers and applause]

Oh, okay.

Uh-oh!

All right, Sam.

Come on.

[Crowd groans]

Come on, Omar.

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

So, Team Jimmie,
you got 3 points,

and Team Clint, you got 4.

And you know what?
We're gonna speed up this arm

and see who's going
to take this game.

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

That's as fast as
Blake Shelton has ever moved.

Y'all ready?Hey, let's hear it
for Clint, guys.

No way,
no way, no way.

Sam: That's it.

Yeah!Oh, he's unstoppable.

I could watch you
do this all day.

This is Jimmie Johnson.
Don't count him out yet, okay?

Omar:
Here we go, Jimmie.

[Crowd cheers]

The old rim job!

Oh, my gosh,
we got ourselves a game.

Team Jimmie now with 4.Carson: Yeah, it's a game.

Dropping some bombs here,
and we got Team Clint with 5.

Well, Sam could close it
if he makes this one.

And we only got
two cups left.

Be the man.
Just make the winning shot

straight in the hole.

[Crowd groans]

Aaaah!

Omar: Here we go.
Come on, baby.

Come on, Omar. You're gonna
tie this game up or what?

Here we go.

Blake: That is a fast-moving
hand right there.

Oh, it's all tied up!

We got a tied game.
No pressure at all.

All right, you can win it here
though, buddy.

I mean, this is
the winning cup, literally.

We couldn't have written this.

[Crowd groans]

He left the door open!
Yes!

No pressure.

All: [Chanting] Jimmie,
Jimmie, Jimmie, Jimmie, Jimmie.

Oh! What a comeback!
What a comeback!

God almighty!
I need some alcohol!

Clint Bowyer doesn't
do it again.

Oh, great work.

So, dropping six bombs tonight,

the winner of this game
is Team Jimmie.

Wow.
Yes!

Great job.
Thank you.

Great job, Omar.

But, wait.
Guys, Clint, it's not over.

It feels like it.

Nikki: You can spin
our Wheel of Redemption.

You can get one point,

and you could tie this game up
one to one.

I think we spin it.He thinks we spin it.
We spin it!

We spin it!

We got Liquid Steak,
Rocky Mountain Oysters.

Oh, God.

Bar Mat.What the hell
is the Bar Mat?

And then we got
a small sliver of hope.

Carson:
Are you ready for the Wheel?

All: [Chanting]
Wheel, wheel, wheel, wheel...

Come on, Rocky Mountain!

...wheel, wheel!

Get on around there!

Rocky Mountain Oysters.

Yeah,
that's the worst one!

[Cheers and applause]

Here we go, everybody,
Rocky Mountain Oysters.

Call them what
they are, Carson.

For people who don't know,
they are

the testicles of a bull,
deep-fried.

Those are big testicles.This was a big bull.

Sam, I'm pissed
at you right now.

You should be.

Have a nice bite, enjoy.

Oh, you're lucky.
It's fried.

I'll get out
of the way.Cheers.

[Crunch!]

Is it salty?

[Laughter]

Looks creamy.
Is that creamy?

Shut up.
They're terrible.

We already lost.

You couldn't get it
in the hole,

and now you have
a mouthful of testicles, buddy.

Clint Bowyer has proven
that he can't do anything

other than eat
a bull's ba*ls.

All right,
they got their one point.

Let's give it to them.

Okay, we're just
getting started.

More "Barmageddon" after this.

Coming up, on "Barmageddon"...

Ohh!Ohh!
Ohh!Ohh!

You can rewrite your history
with Jimmie Johnson,

starting now.And later...

Oh, is that where
it was supposed to go?

There is a Liquid Steak
on the board calling your name.

Carson: Bon appétit.

This is a blood bath!

All comes down to this!

Blake:
Tell them, Nikki!

Nikki: Welcome back.
This is "Barmageddon,"

where a little party
never hurt nobody.

That's right.Okay, so I'm sure
you're all familiar

with the game cornhole,
right?Yep, good times.

Okay, your goal will be
to get your beanbag,

aka your corn kernel,
into the hole

or on our Moonshine board,

but you'll be using
one of our air cannons,

and you'll earn 1 point
if you get it on the board,

and you'll get 3 points
if you get it in the hole.

This is Air Cannon Cornhole.

Blake: Come on, Jimmie,
stare him down. Come on.

Eye contact ...
look at that eye contact.

Let's do it.
Any air cannon you want.

Any cannon?Any cannon.

I'm going
this side.
Oh!

Ooh, I like it. Yeah.I'm gonna get
in my opponent's head.

Don't blow your ear.

[Cheers and applause]

Come on, Jimmie,
aim that cob.
Carson: Yes!

[Crowd groans]

It almost slid up the board.That's okay.

It's a warm-up, right?A little soft, a little soft.

Soft is an understatement.

Come on, Clint.
Come on, Clint.

You got this, Clint.Come on, Clint.

[Cheers and applause]

[Crowd groans]

Just a bit outside.

sh*t!

Okay, so it's zero to zero.

All right, Omar,
you got this, buddy.

Aim right, right,
right, right. More!

[Crowd groans]

Hell of a shot!What happened?

Cornhole.
Not corn, cornhole.

Way high, Sam! Whoa, whoa!Right!

Go right, right, right, right!
There you go.

Too low,
I can already tell you.

[Crowd groans]

What's wrong
with you people?

Stop teasing!

Oh, it's a point!
That's a point.

That's one point.You're on the board.

God, I hate you!

Come on, Clint.It's your last shot
of the round.

Clint, do something
with your life.

You can rewrite your history
with Jimmie Johnson,

starting now.

[Ka-ching!]

[Cheers and applause]

Whoo-hoo-hoo!Cornhole in one!

Hey!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Is that where
it was supposed to go?

That's what I thought!
Yeah!

Whoo!

Team Jimmie, you're gonna start
us off for Round 2.

Once again,
you find yourself behind.

Blake: Create some drama,
Jimmie, come on.

Oh, yeah.
Oh!

Oh, he made it!
Oh, he made it!

[Laughter]

That's the Michael Jordan.

He got 3 points!

Hell of a way to
start a round, Jimmie.That was ridiculous.

Should we blindfold you?

[Laughter]

Sam: you got this.

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

[Cheers and applause]

Come on, buddy!
You're doing something.

Omar, do you understand
the pressure

that's on you right now?I got it.

You don't want to be
the man that doesn't

get it in the hole,
right?Never.

You got this.

Aim right, right, right,
right, more right,

a little more right.
There you go.

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

Jimmie: Good direction.There you go ...
3 points.

Come on, now.

Carson: Come on, Sam.There we go.
Come on, you got this.

Put some corn
in that thing.

A little higher.A little higher?
All right.

3, 2, 1.Come on, you got to get
in the lead here.

Clint: Get in there!

Oh, it's a railer.What is that?

On the rail, one point.

And the score is 7-7,
so you guys are tied.

Here we go.
Watch this.

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

Right in the...

Clint:
That was incredible!You got 10 points!

One shot left in this round.
This is it.

No net. No net.

Jimmie: Anything I can do
to piss him ...

Oh!

[Crowd groans]

Carson:
That's a one-pointer.Good try, buddy.

It's a railer.
Still a point.

All right, so at the end
of Round 2,

we have Team Jimmie
with 10 points,

and we got Team Clint
with 8.

That ain't bad.

Jimmie:
It's not good, Nikki!

No mercy, Jimmie.
No mercy, Jimmie.

Oh, yeah, he's human.
He missed. He's human.

All right, Clint,
you got eight points.

Sam: Let's take the lead
right here.

Clint! Clint!
Before you go, just...

just keep that in mind.

Carson: Liquid Steak.Liquid Steak.

Or make this.You got this!

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

11 to 10. Omar?Come on, Omar.

Do not let me down, Omar.
Stay the course.

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

Okay, so that still has
Team Jimmie with 10

and Team Clint with 11.

Okay, come on, Sam.

Come on, let's go.
Give it up for Sam!

You got this.Come on, Sam!

Oh, it's a point for a rail!

All right, guys, this is
the last shot of the last round.

We have Team Clint with 12,

and we got Team Jimmie with 10,
and, Jimmie, you know

what that means ...
you got to get it in the hole.

You heard the lady.
Let's go.All right,
let's hear it for Jimmie.

You got to get it.
You need one.

Oh, I don't like it.
I don't like it.

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

That guy is crunch!He got it in the hole!

That is your career.

All right, we got
Team Jimmie with 13.

You will have to get it
on the board to tie it up,

Oh, you're good.

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

He did it!
He got it!

You just won!

I did it!

I did it!

Okay.

After a supercharged
game of cornhole,

Team Clint is the winner.

[Cheers and applause]

Carson: It's the first time
we've ever seen

"Clint" and "winner"
in the same sentence.

So, I hate to say it,
Team Jimmie,

but if you guys want
to tie this game up,

you're gonna have to spin
our Wheel of Redemption.

All: [Chanting] Wheel,
wheel, wheel, wheel, wheel...

And if you guys
aren't brave enough to do it,

we could just move on
to the next game.

All: [Chanting]
...wheel, wheel, wheel, wheel!

Let's do it.
Let's do it.
We're in.

They're gonna do the Wheel.

Carson: All right,
let's spin the wheel!

All right, we got the Bar Mat,
we got Liquid Steak,

and a small sliver of hope.
Ready? Here we go!

[Cheers and applause]

Sliver of hope.
Hope, hope.Hope, hope, hope.

Man: Bar Mat!
Bar Mat!

Oh, there goes your hope.

It's the Bar Mat.

Nikki:
Got the Bar Mat.

This is the Bar Mat. We've made
quite a few c*ck on it.

There's some residue down there,
and you're gonna drink it.

Out of the mat?Out of the mat.

Blake: Oh, my God,
are you serious?
Disgusting.

Oh, my God.
Oh, no!

[Laughs]

Boys, you will tie
the Clint team

if you're willing to drink
the bar-mat shot.All right.

All: [Chanting] Drink, drink,
drink, drink, drink, drink,

drink, drink, drink!

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

They drank the Bar Mat.

Nice work, boys.
You've earned it.Terrible.

The aftertaste
is the worst part.

All right, congratulations,
Team Jimmie, right?

You did what you needed to do,
earning a point

and making up for the fact that
you can't put corn in a hole.

So, now the teams are tied,
two games down, three to go.

I hope you're ready
for our next one.

[Cheers and applause]

You having fun?
You look serious.I'm having a blast.

You're getting to hang
out with a champ.

How many times?
Seven.

[Cheers and applause]

All right, all right,
all right,

we are back
with more "Barmageddon."

After our first two games,
our teams are tied

with 2 points each,

and now we are taking
the easiest Olympic sport

and combining it
with the easiest way

to catch a buzz for cheap.

It's Keg Kurling.

Carson:
Let's do Keg Kurling.

Yes.

Okay, so the goal
is to push those kegs

towards the bullseye
on our fake ice rink.

The closer you land
on the bullseye,

the more points you earn.Got it.

On this ground, you'll see
a replica of Blake's tattoo.

Blake's $5 tattoo.Yep.

So, you can't
cross the line, okay?

If you knock your opponent
out of the circle,
they lose a point.

Even better,
'cause I'm gonna knock your sh*t

out of the way
every time.

Like a bump draft.

Bump his a*s off the court
is what I'm gonna do.

Giant shuffleboard,
for God's sakes.

Giant shuffleboard.Y'all ready to play
Keg Kurling?

I say let's do it.
All right, Clint.

Hey, you're up.

Come on, Clint!

Come on, Clint.

Have you ever
held a broom before?

[Laughter]You ever swept?

Here we go. Come on.
You ready?

Let's go, everybody.

[Cheers and applause]

Beautiful.
Jimmie:
Aw, that's a good one.

Are you kidding me?Are you kidding me?

Oh!

Is that where
it's supposed to go?

Is that the bullseye
you were talking about?

That's what I thought.That's the bullseye.

Wow.
All right, Jimmie,
let's see what you got.

Have I ever sweat before?
Come on!

I mean, you could
knock him out, Jimmie.

Oh, I will.Oh, he's gonna
knock him out.

Nikki: Come on, Jimmie.
Let's hear it for Jimmie.

[Cheers and applause]

Ohh!

That was good.

Jimmie doesn't say anything.
He's silent but deadly.

Yeah.
He's a silent k*ller.Every time.

Yeah, just cropdusting you
every time.
Yes, he is.

Oh, that's good.All right, Sam.

[Indistinct shouting]

Ohh!Ohh!
Ohh!Ohh!

Okay, that's a point.

Come on, Omar.
It breaks left.

That's a nice touch.

Sit down, sit down!

Oh, but that's 2.
That's good.

Check ... Make sure
you have the aerodynamics.

Make sure you're in the draft.

It's 4 to 2.There you go, man.
Line it up.

No bullseye.Sam: Come on, Clint.

Carson: Come on, Clint.Yeah, let's go, Clint.

[Cheers and applause]

Oh, boy.

Ohh!

I-I like how these guys play.

Yeah, yeah, me too.I like it.

[Crowd cheers]

Omar:
Great attack, though.

Oh, yeah, nice.

Carson: Mr. Smooth.Wow.

What?Wow.

How you like me now, buddy?All right, so,
at the end of Round 1,

Team Jimmie has 5 points.That was a good one,
as always.

And Tim Clint has 4.It's close.
It's pretty close.

That's not a blowout.
That's not a blowout.

All right, let's play Round 2.
Jimmie, you're up.

Omar: Come on, Jimmie.Okay, man. Give it
some horsepower, Jimmie.

[Cheers and applause]

Go, go. Ohh!

Didn't even qualify.

I was trying to put it
on the red, but I came up short.

Look like it run out of stroke
right there, boys.

You're down a cylinder.

All right, Clint, let's go.

Come on, Clint.

Clint:
Oh, settle down!

Carson: Go, go!Take it. We'll take it.

All right.
Hey, that's 2 points.

Overshot the runway
there, buddy.

Felt good.
It felt good.

This is your life's mission
right here.

[Applause]

Jimmie:
That's a good touch.Uh-oh, uh-oh.

That's a good touch.
Look at Omar.There it is.

Look at Omar!Yeah, he tucked it around.

Clint:
This is so important.

Oh, just outside!

Go! Break a tackle!
That's what we're talking about!

Oh, look at this angle
he's got here.

Nikki: This is your last one
in Round 2.

All right, here we go.
Here we go. Here we go.

Oh, with authority!
Oh!

[Laughter and applause]

That is how you play
Keg Kurling.

Come on, Clint.
Get mad, Clint! Get mad!

Yes.

You got to get him
out of that bullseye.

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

Oh, he got a point,
though!

That'll work.
He got a point.
No.

That's also how he's gonna walk
into his hotel room tonight.

Compliments of you,
thank you.

This is my show,
and that counts.

That counts, right?
That counts.

Clint: If it's in the color,
it counts.

That's in the color.
That's a point.

Okay, so at the end of Round 2,
Team Jimmie has 10.

Yeah, that's typical.
Yep.

And Team Clint has 7.

Okay, we got another round.
It's not over.

Who will shuffle their way
to a win and sweep this game?

We'll find out after the break.

[Cheers and applause]

Welcome back to "Barmageddon."

This is the drunkest
bar games

I've ever been involved with
in my life.

We've been kurling
our asses off in here,

so let's get right back into it
and play our last round.

[Cheers and applause]

Last chance, Sam.

Whatever the hell that board is,
is not what we want to do.

There is a Liquid Steak
on the board calling your name.

Clint, we're blue!

Oh, sh*t.

Get in the blue to get
closer to the white.

It is a drinking game,
ladies and gentlemen.That's right.

[Laughter]

Come on, Clint.Come on, Clint.

Carson: Oh, that's got
good touch.
Wow.

That's money.
That's money.

That's money!

Put that sh*t
on a cr*cker.

Jimmie Johnson is a good
c*ck block, so we'll see.

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

I think that's a compliment.

That's a great
compliment, right?

Blake: Block it.

c*ck block,
coming up.

[Cheers and applause]

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

Oh! that must hurt
in your soul.

Look how happy he is too.
Look.

Don't flip it over
like I did.

Come on, Sam.

[Cheers and applause]

[Crowd groans]

Blake: I knew he was
gonna do it!

Nikki: I don't know.That's the price you pay
for trying to knock it out.

All right, Omar.

Don't you dare!

Oh, let's make a tackle!

Omar: Get up there!That's a zero.

Clint, stay away from the red
one. Don't knock it in.

[Cheers and applause]

Beautiful!

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

[Laughter]

He's in.

Okay, guys, so it's a tied game,
10 to 10,

and that right there is
the last keg of the night,

so, Jimmie,
it's all up to you.

That's the winning keg.Got to get a point.

Blake: Jimmie!

All: [Chanting]
Jimmie, Jimmie,

Jimmie, Jimmie!

[Indistinct shouting]

[Cheers and applause]

Nikki: You got one point!
You won!

That was by a point.

So, with 11 points,

the winner of Keg Kurling
is Team Jimmie.

[Cheers and applause]

Blake: Spin the wheel!

All: [Chanting]
Spin the wheel! Spin the wheel!

Spin the wheel!

There's not a lot
of hope left.

Look at that.

Is that a yes?
You guys are spinning.Yes.

Sam: Yeah, go ahead.

All: [Chanting] Wheel, wheel,
wheel, wheel, wheel, wheel,

wheel, wheel, wheel!

What if he got the hope?
Oh.

Nikki: Oh.All right.

The Liquid Steak it is.What is that?

Liquid Steak is exactly
what you would think it is.

It is steak.

I'm gonna put it in a blender
and this au jus.

Blake:
Wait a minute. You like soup?

Soup with alcohol in it.

Let's put in some steak,
a little Worcestershire.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!

It's Liquid Steak.

Oh, my God.

We got a good shot at that,
right?

Oh, yeah, want to smell it?

Oh, my gosh.

That's ... hmm.

[Laughter]

I didn't sign up
for this sh*t.

Yeah, you did.
I think you did.

All right, boys.
Please, bon appétit.

And for those who are concerned,
that is grassfed Liquid Steak.

Oh, yeah, 'cause
that was my concern. Yeah.

I'm so glad we won.

At this point,
even if y'all win, you've lost.

It is so nasty,
it won't even hit your lips.

Well, I got a little spoon
in there for you.

All I got was the juice.Oh, my God.

[Laughter]

[Crowd groans]

Sam, how is it?Could be better.

Give it up for Clint
and Sam, everybody.

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause]

Nikki: Yes!

Here at "Barmageddon,"
we like to help the helpless,

so we created a word game

with only five letters
to keep track of.

And as you can see,
we have a coin-operated horse.

Wait a minute.
Y'all got any quarters?

I'll get it out
of your register over here.

Nikki: And if you look at
the other end of the room,

you'll see a bunch of stuff
we found in Blake's pickup.

Except those are
my good potatoes.

You want those back?

We will also be giving you
a helping hand

that happens to launch
paint ba*ls.

You'll get three paint ba*ls
each turn.

For each target you hit,
you get a letter.Oh, yeah.

But if one of you
hits something,

the next person has to hit
the same target.

Got it.
Oh, yeah.

First team to spell "HORSE"
wins the game.

Get ready to
play H.O.R.S.E. on a Horse.

Team Jimmie, you're first up.

Drink it down, Jimmie,
drink it down.

[Cheers and applause]

Jimmie, you know how
to get on a horse?

Not really.That is not a good look.

I feel like I overshot
the mark.

Sam, if you get on that horse
and ride it like that,

we are no longer
teammates.

All right, ready,
set, giddy on up.

["William Tell Overture"
playing]

Come on, horsey.Hope he gets bucked off.

He got it.Carson: That's a hit.

That's a hit!First shot, hit.

Come on!
That's a hit?

That's a hit.

Nikki: Yeah, you hit it.
Okay, Clint, now it's your turn

to take the reins
and hit the same target.

Blake: Come on, let's go!
Giddy up, doggy!

He's got to hit
the same one.

You got to ...
You have to get the tractor.

You got to try and hit
the same one.Oh, yeah.

Same one.

[Cheers and applause]

That's it.
That's it.

Hey, by the way,
that is a hit.

All right, so the score
right now ... we got "H" and "H."

All right, Omar.

Basically, if you miss ...
h* h*! ... embarrassing.

Omar, what are you
thinking about?

A "h*."

All right, giddy on up.

Jimmie:
Come on, Omar, let's go.

Oh!

That's three?Oh, that's three.

Just a bit outside.

So, Omar got nothing.

[Laughter]

Still "H," "H."
Sam, come on.All right.

I think this is the moment
you can redeem yourself.

You already have kind of
a cowboy name anyway, man.

Come on, Sam.
Saddle him up, Sam.

With your purple pants on,
come on.

That's a cowboy
right there.

Clint: Come on, Sam.

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

That's an "O."

Yes!

Jimmie, you're up.
You only have an "H."

Hey, once again, he's behind,
which is not a good thing.

Jimmie does always seem
to come back when he's down.

Can he hit those beans?

Uh-oh!

Uh-oh!

One more shot.Oh, come on.

Yes!He's human. He's human.

What an idiot!

Well, that didn't go so well.

[Laughter]

We're back!
We're in it.

Yeah, that's it!

All right, so Team Clint.
You guys have a "h*."

So let's see if you can
get a "HOR."

Whoa.
One more letter.

And unfortunately, Team Jimmie,
you guys still have an "H."

Come on, Bowyer.Come on, start the horse!

What are you going for?
He's going for the taters.

Yeah!

[Cheers and applause]

Blake, he got your potatoes.

That's a brand-new sack
of potatoes out of my truck.

No French fries
for you tonight, buddy.

All right, Omar.Come on, Omar.
"H.O.R." to "H."

See if you can get that "O."
Make sure to hit the potatoes.

[Cheers and applause]

Oh, he's going
gangster style!

Oh, he got it!It's in the corner.

You didn't hit it.
It hit the corner.

It hit the corner. Yeah,
you got one more shot, Omar.

Turn the horse back on.

It's an official miss, Omar.
Let's try again.

It hit the bag.
It hit the bag.

No, it didn't hit the bag!

It hit the bag
on the way by.

The splatter hit the bag.

It has to hit the bag.Wait, look at the bag.

That could be the splatter.Does splatter count, Nikki?

Splatter doesn't count,
sorry.Okay, okay, all right.

Golly!Okay, so we got Team Clint
with "H.O.R."

[Cheers and applause]

And we got Team Jimmie
with just an "H."

This is gonna be tough
to come back from.

Saddle them up, Sam.
Put a quarter in it.

Put a quarter in it!
Let's go!

All right.

One shot, and he hit
the ice bucket.
Whoo!

This is a bloodbath.
It is a bloodbath.

Sam, you just needed
some paintball in your life.

Team Clint with "HORS"
without the "E."

All right, Jimmie.

All right, Jimmie.
Last try.

You're down a few laps
on this game, Jimmie.

Giddy on up.

["William Tell Overture"
playing]

What?! Man!

Whoo!
You suck!

I hit the top.
Actually, look at it.

I hit the top.

He actually did.
He did hit it.Oh, wait, he hit the top.

Bullshit!

There's no way
it could hit this side

of the handle
unless he hit it.

I think he hit the top,
though, right?

Let's check instant replay.Let's see that back in slo-mo.

That's a hit.
That's a hit.

That's a hit!
Good job, Jimmie.Thank you, thank you.

See, I'm so good, I can hit
that little thing on top.

All right, now we got a game.

All right, so we got Team Jimmie
with an "H.O.,"

and we got Team Clint.
You guys are still with
a "HORS" without an "E."

All right, Clint.Almost there.

Are you gonna finish this game
or what?Yes, right now.

All right, let's see.We got money in the bank, right?
I need to go for a small one.

Yeah, you got time
to be c*ck.
Right.

Why not just win it for once,
like, just close it?

[Cheers and applause]

["William Tell Overture"
playing]

One.

Two.

[Cheers and applause]

Oh, he blew it up.

Damn!

[Cheers and applause]

Nikki: Clint,
that was an amazing shot.

I got to say,
you just won H.O.R.S.E.

Did you see that last shot?I mean, that was really
sick, I got to say.

Blew beer all over
my fans, huh?

Really good way to go out.

So, Team Jimmie,
unfortunately,

we are out of spins
for the Wheel of Redemption.

But there is still one game
left tonight,

and you could win that game,
so...
All right.

Come on, Jimmie, tie it up.
Come on!

All right, we'll be back
with some more "Barmageddon"

after this.

Let's go! Come on back!
Come on back!

[Cheers and applause]

Nikki:
Welcome back to "Barmageddon,"

where, if at first you don't
succeed, maybe you should quit.

Jimmie Johnson and Clint Bowyer,
two true competitors,

have battled it down.

Team Jimmie has 3 points,
and Team Clint has 4.

All right.Boo, boo.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

This just in. Wait a minute.
They're talking to me in my ear.

I know. It's unbelievable.

Clint's actually beating
Jimmie Johnson.

I know, crazy.What an a*s.

Now, we're going to boldly go

where most men have never gone
before

in a game
we like to call Four Play.

Hey!

You'll each take turns
sh**ting ba*ls

into a giant-sized
whiskey barrel hoop,

and the first one to line up
four in a row wins the game.

Jimmie, you could tie it here.

I'm terrible at basketball.
It's not looking good.

Clint, you good
at basketball?I have Omar.
I hope Omar can pull me through.

Can you play
basketball?A little bit.

I'm in, yes!Nikki: Yeah, right.

So, Jimmie, you will be
playing with the orange ba*ls,

and, Clint,
you got the blue ba*ls.

Carson:
Story of his life.

What do you guys say?
Let's get it on?

Okay, blue ba*ls.

Ohh! Ohh!
Come on,
old blue ba*ls!

Nikki: Let's play
some Four Play.Let's go, boys!

Oh, yeah, stretch it out, Clint.
Yes.

Nikki: Yeah, Clint.Work it.
Kareem Abdul Ja-Clint.

[Chuckles]

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

I think that deserved
a big boo.A little too much.

Both: [Chanting] Shame, shame,
shame, shame, shame, shame!

All right, Jimmie,
let's see what you got.All right.

[Cheers and applause]

What the...?

They're drivers.
These guys ... they're athletes,

but they're drivers, okay?

Keep that in mind,
everybody.

Come on, Sam.
We're all pulling for you, Sam.

All right, we need some noise.
Come on, let's hear it.

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

Can we change it
to Connect One?

Come on, Omar.
Here comes the first one.

Oh, he's got some form.

[Cheers and applause]

That's it, Clint.
The big rainbow, the big arc.

[Cheers and applause]

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

Nope, no go, no go.
That's a no go.

Carson: There we go.

All right, Jimmie.Come on, Johnson.

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

Two away.

You better put the block on.

Come on, Sam.

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

Overconfident.
Come on, Omar.

Let's see what you got.

Jimmie: Oh, get in there!
Come on!In and out ... heartbreak.

Wow.

Clint: sh*t!

Oh, my God, Clint.

Come on, Jimmie.
Come on, Jimmie.

Oh, that's still good.Omar: That's all right.
We'll take it.

We'll take it. Hey, now.

This isn't Plinko, Jimmie!Still no emotion from Jimmie.

He's just like ... no emotion,
just Jimmie Johnson's a robot.

[Laughter]

Sam!
Clint: Yes!

All right, Omar.
Let's see.

All right, Omar, what are
you doing? Where are we going?

And he did it.

Nice form.All right, you got this one.

Come on, Clint.

That's what
I'm talking about!There we go!

We got the two ba*ls
and two ba*ls!

Omar: Come on, Jimmie,
get the three.

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

One away.Nikki: One away.

One away
from tying it all!

Come on, Sam.
That's a lot
of pressure.

You going for the block?He's going for the block.

Yeah, you got to go
for the block.

Ohh!Ohh!
Ohh!Ohh!

Didn't need that.Nice rebound.
Come on, Omar.

Omar!This is it.

Omar, you can tie this.

All: [Chanting] Omar,
Omar, Omar, Omar, Omar!

Nikki: Oh!That was so close.

You got this, Clint.
Block them!Block it, Clint.

Get the hard dribble in there
like Omar does, yeah.

There you go.It helps.

This thing's got
too much air in it.

Brick!
Brick!

Oh!Oh!
Oh!Oh!

Jimmie!
Look out!

Blake: There's a kid
in there, man. We got
a little kid in there.

Let me really piss
you off, Bowyer.

Jimmie,
this is your moment.

This ain't the championship.

[Cheers and applause]

[Cheers and applause]

Come here, dude.
Great.

Jimmie just tied the game!

He's so good.He's so good.

Look at Clint.
What happened?

What do you ...
Jimmie happened!

Nikki: When we come back,
our Sudden Death Round,

and we'll find out
who will be taking the title

of Barmageddon champion home
with them tonight.

You're not
gonna want to miss it.

Come on, blue ba*ls.

Team Blue ba*ls.

[Cheers and applause]

All right, guys!

So, after five games
and three Wheels of Redemption,

we have ourselves a tie.

Team Clint with 4.Carson: Yep.

We got Team Jimmie with 4.We're in it.

So, you know what that means.

One damn ball is all you made ...
for the win.

Yeah, it's
our Sudden Death Round.

So, it's just you two.

You guys are gonna
come up here.Oh, wow.

And whoever makes the shot first
wins the entire thing.

[Cheers and applause]

All comes down to this.

Now, if Jimmie goes first
and makes it,

you have the opportunity
to make it.
Right.

And if you don't,
then you lose.

All right, let's do it.

Any last words, anybody?

Jimmie Johnson can kiss
both sides of my a*s.

Come on, everybody.
Sudden Death!

Go, Jim.Let's do it.

[Applause]

[Crowd groans]

Nikki: So with that miss,
now the next basket will win it.

It was almost like a prayer
when he threw it.

[Laughter]

Blake:
There's a chance, Clint.

Come on, Clint.

Carson:
He makes it, he wins.

♪♪

[Cheers and applause]

He rewrote history!

We did it!
We did it! We did it!

We got our winner!
Sam, you guys won!You beat Jimmie Johnson.

First time in my life!
Yes!

We did it! Whoo! Yay!
Blue ba*ls no more.
Whoo!

All right, well,
congratulations, guys.

Clint and Sam, you guys
have one "Barmageddon," baby.

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Not many people
can say that.

Sam, we got you
a handy-dandy beer carrier,

and you know why ...
no more spilling.

And, Clint, you have won
"Barmageddon's" legendary medal

that no one has heard of,
the Cappy.

Aw, congratulations.Come on up.

Wear it with pride.

It's very, very special.

Right?
Come on up here, Sam.

So, how do you guys feel?

Feel good about it.
Feel good about my performance.

I feel a little bit drunk.Yeah, oh, that's good.

Hey, that's perfect.I am so happy

I finally got to beat that
shithead over there.

He has beat me my whole life,
he really has.

And this was a lot of fun,
and I'm telling you,

everybody needs to implement
every one of these games

in their household
immediately.

This is fun.Oh, I love that.
I agree.

[Cheers and applause]

And, Sam, I mean, look at who
you got to team up with today.

This was all
just a great time.Yeah?

Started off a little rough,
but we put it together,

and we were just
a great team.

I agree.
And you know what?

Now you're famous for something
else than being viral

on the internet,
so how about that?

[Cheers and applause]

All right, well, I say we're
gonna end this night right.

So, thank you to everyone
who played ...

Jimmie, Clint, Sam, Omar ...

and thank you to our amazing
crowd here in the house.

You guys have all been amazing.

All right, we will see you
next time on "Barmageddon."

Hit it, Blake!

♪ Makin' their way

♪ The only way they know how

Man: Yes! Yeah!

♪ Well, that's just a little bit
more than the law will allow ♪

[Cheers and applause]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪