01x01 - I'm Finally Back From The Fantasy World Of Granbahamal After 17 Long Years

[bunniefuu]

PEDESTRIANS AND BICYCLES ONLY

It was the fall of 2017.

NURSE STATION
PATIENT ROOMS

My uncle was hit by a truck
when he was only 17.

And since then,
had been in a coma for 17 years.

Until he woke up.

Irellars Granbahamal tona galtoeba rilex.

And he lost his mind.

Yeah. I don't understand.

Japanese?

Oh, my bad!

I was in Granbahamal,

a fantasy world where they speak
a whole different language.

Good morning.

Zalbe madira kolstonam kolstonam.

Let's take your temperature.

Del storba tona rabelt gal.

All right. I'll check on you later.

You're Takafumi, my sister's kid.

But where is… everyone else?

Well, our family had a huge falling out
because of you.

What to do with you
while you were in a coma…

And let me tell you, it wasn't cheap.

My mom said she didn't want to see you.

MY FAMILY FELL APART
DUE TO FIGHTING OVER ME

Icuras cuora.

-Okay.
-Huh?

I'll prove Granbahamal is real.

Uh, you really don't--

w*r-grent seld.

SPRING WATER

Okay.

w*r-grent magna!

w*r-grent rald!

-This is just sad.
-w*r-grent neld!

w*r-grent gad! w*r-grent pad!

-Hey, Uncle?
-w*r-grent larch!

Money has been a little tight lately.

So I brought some documents
for you to sign.

And after that, they're going
to send you somewhere

-to help you get back on your feet.
-Wind, carry!

-What the hell?
-Wind, return it.

Of course, it's Japanese here.

It's all real.

Hold on, now. Did you just say
you were sending me away somewhere?

-Nope, I didn't.
-You sure?

-Yeah, yeah. So, what was that?
-Mmm. It's magic.

Fire.

Whoa. Awesome. Wait.
How are you doing that?

Ah, it's nothing.

I wanna know if SEGA won the Console Wars.

Huh?

SEGA? Now?

Well, these days, Sony and Nintendo
are the biggest console makers.

Huh? No SEGA?

-Is this important?
-SEGA.

Well, they, uh, stopped making consoles.

Icuras cuora.

Hey, Uncle. What does "icuras cuora" mean?

Oh. It's a memory erasing spell.

So I can forget sad things.

SEGA was that important?

There were a lot of sad times
in Granbahamal.

Wanna see?

Uh, yeah.

Oh, God, no.

Make me forget.

It's sad, right?

Spirits of memory,
deliver unto oblivion.

I guess SEGA meant a lot to him.

A week later,

my uncle was discharged.

So we decided to find a way
to make some money off his powers.

ANOTHER WORLD - LIGHTSABER

We started by uploading videos to YouTube.

But we only earned
about 60,000 yen in ad revenue.

UNCLE:
YOU'RE FINE THE WAY YOU ARE

GET HOME

SOLD CHEAPER THAN A SCOURING PAD

I've been meaning to ask you,
why do you have such a big place?

Uh, I was living with someone,
but it got complicated.

Like, with a lover?

-Not like that.
-Okay.

Listen, they were just a roommate. Get it?

-Nah.
-Huh?

HISTORY OF ROOM SHARE

Roommates
weren't a thing back then?

Whoa. You looked that up really fast.

What a tiny computer.

Yeah. Huh?

That is so weird.

You finding a friend
to live with you here.

Uncle? So, tell me, what were people like
in the other world?

What about your friends?

Uh. I flew solo pretty much
the entire time I was there.

Ugh.

I see.

All the people
in the other world were really hot.

You'd trip over beautiful people.

Oh, really?

I must have been hideous.

They hunted me down like I was an orc.

Uncle, hold on.

-And they would--
-Stop!

I'm just trying to wash the dishes
right now, man.

Ah, it wasn't like that every day.

But there was one girl
who was really aggressive--

Tell me this later!

She would show up every day
to harass me to my face.

No matter what I did to prove myself,
she would treat me like garbage.

That's awful.

Even in a fantasy world,
that stuff happens.

When we first met, I saved her from
a monster and she didn't even thank me.

Oh, what was her problem?

Right?

She was like,

"Nobody asked
for your help. Don't touch me!"

Then I said, "I didn't save you just
to hit on you.

How stuck up are you?"
Then she's all like,

"I'm the only one
who can even stand

to be around your orc face
without puking, you four-eyed jerk!"

She was just
really mean to me every day, all right?

I ditched her in a city and then ran off.

Don't touch me!

I don't need your help.

I'm the only one who can stand your
orc face without puking, four-eyed jerk.

The tsundere archetype
wasn't established until 2004.

Four years after my uncle was in a coma.

What happened to her?

Huh? I don't know.

If I'm being honest, things weren't
that great for me in the other world.

But, coming back here,

the Internet, fiber lines, "wii-fii"…

It's all great!

And people around the world love my--
Videos?

Huh?

EVEN A 5TH GRADER LIKE ME
CAN TELL HOW FAKE THIS IS.

SUCH AMATEUR EDITING.
IS IT A BAD JOKE?

Hmm?

It was then that my uncle fell…

LOLOL -
RED FACE UNCLE

into a new fantasy world,
known as the Internet.

Huh? How does he know my face is red?

-Am I on camera?
-It's Internet slang.

And I'm never writing my own comments!

Hey, don't worry. It's just a joke.

Hey, why are they writing a bunch of W's?
Huh?

He still needs to learn about trolls.

MEMORY INTO OBLIVION - THANKS

USED - GOOD

I want this phone.

It doesn't flip, it spins!

But it's 2G.

Huh? So I buy it
through this online auction, right?

The problem is, it uses an old network,

so I don't think
you could even make calls.

But it spins.

Yeah, but how would you get in touch
with your old friends?

Takafumi, do you think a man

who committed himself to SEGA
truly deserves to live a full life?

PERSONAL OPINION

Why is he letting a game system
dictate his life so much?

Well, this one
looks like the cheapest price.

You already looked it up?

Man, those little smartphones
are really fast.

You could always learn to use one.

Touching, swiping, pinching…

I'd prefer to have
a bunch of buttons to push.

-I guess.
-They don't make new versions

of the cool phones that slide open
or spin anymore, do they?

It's innovation.
Everything is touch screens.

A lot happens in 17 years.

You know, I did some technical innovations
of my own in the other world.

Oh, yeah?

Hmm. I made a pot that overflowed
with water to stop a village's drought.

Whoa! How?

I used two spells--

It'll just be easier
to show you how I did it.

Icuras elran.

Oh. Whoa.

Is this one of your memories?

There are these spell-cards,
charged with magic.

With a lot of work, I managed to reverse
the electrolysis process to create water.

You beat modern science!

Wow. You must have blown all their minds!

I mean, I bet all those villagers
were cheering your name.

Nah.

They tried to hang me.

They destroyed the pot.

I guess what I did was sacrilegious.

Stop!

Someone rescued you.

It was that awful woman.

What? That's her?

Yes, I know he has an evil face.

It's like an orc's.

I understand why you wouldn't trust him,
but I promise--

w*r-grent grakka.

Ugh. Good grief.

And that's pretty much it.

I get it.

First-person view
is hard to follow.

Hey, what's that?

Hmm. I can swipe here
to rotate the camera around.

-Yep, there we are.
-You can do that?

-Pinch in to zoom out.
-Whoa.

You weren't kidding.
You were being hunted.

Oh. Can we see, uh,
what happened to that girl?

Yeah. I'll pinch out to zoom in.

That coward…

He ran away?

Loser.

She saved you and she's hot?

-Yeah, I know. I'm a coward.
-What?

END OF AUCTION NOTIFICATION

My auction!

TIME LEFT

There's no time!

PLACE A BID

No, no, no!

I'm bidding!

Wait! How much is delivery?

AUCTION ENDED -
CONGRATULATIONS! YOU WON!

CHECK YOUR TRANSACTION

BID WON - 1,600 YEN,
SHIPMENT FEE - 2,000 YEN

My God. 2,000.

Their address is on some remote island.

There's no fee if you meet them
to get the phone in person.

Huh?

Uncle!

I'll be back.

Oh.

30 MINUTES LATER

I'm home.

Question.

Could you pick up these headphones for me?

-Where are they?
-Kumamoto.

Five minutes.

And this sofa?

Uh, that looks really heavy.

I will give you a shoulder massage.

Oh. Yeah, okay.

That's how Uncle learned to bid online
without paying shipping fees.

Thanks!

Hey, I would have gone
to pick that up for ya.

It was free. I have Amazon Prime.

Is there a box cutter?

-Here.
-Thank you.

Where did this come from?

My storage spell.

By the way, that thing can k*ll dragons,
so be careful.

That's so cool.

Did you bring anything else back with you?

Well, a lot.

Like a magic sword.

-Argh!
-My deposit…

-I also have precious metals.
-What?

This stone is a mermaid tear,
crystallized by magic.

And the band was carved
from rainbow coral.

In the other world,
you could buy a castle with this.

Sell them! Sell them all!

-Fifty yen.
-Huh?

I took them to a pawn shop.

And they told me 50 yen.

It's too rare.

Hmm. We're not getting
as many views as I thought.

I need a new idea.

-Uncle?
-Huh?

So, I'm guessing you had this because
you were going to give it to someone?

No. It's just a commemorative trophy.

You have to beat a pretty hard dungeon
to get one of them though.

I see.

You want to talk about love?

No. I doubt you ever had a romance
in the other world. No, thanks.

Yes, I did.
But I've been alive over 30 years.

I've gotten plenty of action.

My first love was in elementary school.

Who was she?

Sonic and Tails.

What?

I'd go to the toy store
every afternoon

to watch the video demo play.

That title screen was so cute,
I never got tired of it.

Do you have people stories?

Hmm? Oh, yeah.

There was this girl, named Kaede Nanase.

She was k*lled by w*r.

Then her brain was transferred
into an evil cyborg body.

She attacked me
after I hunted down the Seven Force.

She's the boss of level three,
and takes on five…

This man had no life outside of games.

Were-- Were there any nice girls
in the other world?

-Oh, sure.
-Really?

Icuras elran.

Thank you very much.

I managed to save her
from that awful monster.

It looks more like she's sacrificing
herself to protect her brothers.

Pretty cool, right?

I think we got ambushed by goblins
or something soon after this.

-What?
-I fell off a cliff. Never saw her again.

That must have been terrible.

Huh? Those, uh-- Those kids are
looking a little suspicious back there.

I should look at what attacked me.

I'm sure it was a goblin.

-Yeah?
-Oh, yeah. Definitely.

Well, whatever it was almost k*lled me.
And that awful woman showed up.

-Really?
-I hate to admit it, but she saved me.

But why?

Why save me?

I did you a favor.

You're in my debt.

Now you'll spend the rest of your life
trying to repay me.

The rest of my life?

Huh?

I-- I didn't mean it like that.

It's not like we're going
to be together forever.

Stop it! Stay right there.

I don't have much to pay you with.

-What about this?
-Huh?

It's a cosmite ring,
one of only seven in the whole world.

Hey, stop! What are you doing?

It should fit.

Uh. Uh, w-w-wait a second.

-This is too fast.
-You don't want it?

What? Mm-hmm.

I do.

Did he just propose to her?
Is that allowed?

From her reaction, it looks like they have
the same marriage customs as us

in the other world.

At least it seems so.

Of course I did.

I even got the ring appraised for her
in the next town.

Oh, come on, Uncle!

Oh, no. Is this the town you said
you managed to lose her in?

Nah, she hung around after this.

You know, I think she wanted my money.

I put it all in the bank.
Where are you going next, huh?

What? You're resting here?
What a coincidence. So am I!

She's persistent.

Anyway, these rare items
are all shockingly easy to use.

And you could put that dagger in here too.

Uh, sure.

UNCLE!?

Uncle's brand new video
broke over 2,000,000 views.

I'M ALIVE

Fall, 2017.

My life with my uncle just got
a whole lot more interesting.