Movie Theater m*ssacre (2023)

[bunniefuu]

[creaking]

[crackling]

[wind howling]

-[Nick] Concession stand's all closed down.

-Okay, great.

I still got to check the PQ for the

DCP, but I might just say f*ck it.

You can hang and watch it if you want.

Or feel free to take off.

Um, you know, I'm cool. Thanks, though.

I'm kind of in the midst of

this Hitchcock Retrospective

that's about to leave

The Criterion Channel,

so I think I'm just gonna head home.

That's cool. I didn't know

that they did retrospectives.

I still don't have The Criterion Channel,

but I do still got some Criterion

Hitchcock on Blu-ray and DVD.

-Nice.

-Ah, you know, bonus features on deck.

And the essays in the

booklets are usually on point.

I really enjoy being able to read

up about a film right after I see it.

Provides a bit more

context and perspective.

Maybe I should pick up a few the next

time they have a flash sale or something.

Now you're talking.

[sighs] I can't believe this is

the last week for the theater.

[Val] What can you do?

People just don't care about

going to the theater as much

now that they have such access

to movies at the click of a button.

I guess I'm just a part of the problem.

[chuckles] No. I mean, it makes sense.

The movie business was

thriving in the '30s and '40s,

but that was because that was the only

access people had to the moving image.

Then, once television really

came in full swing in the '50s,

it changed everything.

Do you think movie theaters will make it,

like, still be around in 100 years?

Yeah, I think so... in

one way or the other.

I mean, you can't replicate

the experience at home

of seeing a great movie on a giant screen.

And then you add the

audience participation element,

and... it makes it even more its own thing.

Yeah. Hopefully, audiences will be able to

-fully come out to the theaters again someday.

-[snickers]

Well, Dial M for m*rder is calling my name.

Are you going to hang around?

Uh, probably not.

I'm kind of beat.

I'm just gonna finish up

here and then take off.

Go ahead and get on

out of here, Mr. MacGuffin.

[both laugh] -Have a good night, Val.

You too, Nick.

[sirens wailing]

[sinister music]

[muffled grunt]

[ominous organ music]

[tires screech]

[door rattles]

[gasps, chuckles nervously]

Winston, you scared me.

-Sorry, Miss Valerie.

-[Val chuckles]

It's okay. I was just surprised. [Chuckles]

Hi, Cecelia.

Hello, Miss Valerie.

[chuckles]

You both know that's my first name, right?

And only my mother calls

me that. My friends call me Val.

[both] Sorry, Miss Valerie.

Okay, well, [chuckling] I'm out of here.

-Have a good night.

-[Cecelia] You too.

Good night, Miss Valerie.

[engine sputters]

[sighs] f*ck.

[tense music]

[key clicks, engine starts]

[sighs]

[objects clattering]

[vacuum cleaner whirring]

[leaf blower gusting]

[door clanks open]

[door slams against wall]

[door creaks close]

[switch clicks]

-[projector whirring]

Just got around to getting myself dressed,

and it's almost time to go to bed.

I've been playing solitaire all afternoon,

trying to decide what to have for supper.

Tuna fish or beans.

[laughing] And beans won.

[vehicles passing]

[cheerfully] Hi. How can I help you?

Um, yeah, one, please.

Sure. It'll be ten bucks.

Oh. Um, sorry,

we can't take credit cards right now.

-Oh, you guys are closing?

-Yeah.

With streaming, and COVID, and everything,

kind of puts the theater in a bad position.

I'm sorry to hear.

Do you have an ATM inside?

No. Sorry.

No sweat. I'll just run to

one and grab some cash.

-Okay. Sorry for the trouble.

-No worries.

This is why I never go

to the f*cking movies.

[Jake] What, we're not playing the

porn flick that guy wanted to see?

You have such a one-track mind.

What? What's wrong with porn?

Well, besides the fact

that it objectifies women.

Okay, Mr. Me Too.

Have you ever seen,

like, a classic erotic film?

Oh, you know what? Last week, I...

-No.

-[Chuckles]

Well, you should check one out sometime.

And mind you, not all porn is about women.

Some is about transgender people,

and others are about h*m*.

And there are female porn

directors, like Roberta Findlay.

She was a pioneer of '60s sexploitation.

Oh. Oh, I didn't know I was

talking to a clitoris connoisseur.

[chuckles] Yeah.

Okay, well, I have quite the

collection of classic erotica.

In the '70s, it was

considered chic and, like, in.

Almost mainstream, in a way.

And there were stories and plots.

It wasn't just about f*cking.

And, hey, what's wrong with

watching people f*ck anyways?

I mean, we all do it.

[hesitantly] Well, not everybody.

[laughs, mock coughing] Incel.

No. Oh, no. Don't f*cking

"no feeling when girlfriend" me.

-[laughing] Okay. Anyways...

-[scoffs]

"most" people have sex.

That's how we all got here anyway,

through one sexual act or another.

Yeah, I kind of see what you're saying.

American culture is quite

repressed when it comes to sexuality.

It's, it's kind of weird how violence

in film is accepted and rated PG-13

while [softly] sex is rated R or X.

Exactly.

Snoochie boochies.

[serene music]

[birds chirping]

[creature screeches]

[birds chirping]

What did you hit, Ray?

I don't know, a bird or something.

[movie playing in distance]

-Only a handful of people showed up?

-Yeah.

No wonder this f*cking

place is going under.

I mean, what do you expect?

It's a matinee on a weekday.

Yeah, but it seems like people don't really

care about going to the movies anymore.

It kind of makes sense.

Especially when you can stream

whatever and whenever

for only a few bucks a month.

-[softly] Yeah.

-Yeah. But it's not the same.

I mean, going to the

movies has got its own vibe.

You know, it's more

cinematic. It's the big screen.

[mutters]

[clipboard clatters]

[grunts softly]

[grunts]

[Jake] Could you grab some small cups?

I just ran out.

Gotcha.

f*ck.

These m*therf*ckers, man.

Geez.

Uh, dude, where are the cups?

Yeah, okay.

[Jake] What, what are you talking about?

I'll tell you, man. You and Dan got

way too much time on your hands.

[Jake] Huh?

Oh, there aren't any cups,

Jake, because, you know,

Jake just loves to f*ck with Wily.

[laughing sarcastically] Good stuff.

What do you mean, "There aren't any cups"?

-Where are all the cups?

-Huh?

Dude, I think we're missing

a bit more than cups.

Hey, did you just donate

all the concessions

from the stockroom?

-[Dan chuckling] No.

Yeah, well, the stockroom

is completely empty.

What did you stoners do with all the candy?

Dan, listen. I came in

here to do stock, okay?

I took some stuff out. When I left,

the stockroom was completely filled.

Everything was cool. Then

Jake asked me to grab some cups.

When I come back, everything

in the stockroom was gone.

Guys... [chuckling] Look, I, I get it.

It's the last week and all, but that

doesn't mean you got to rob the place blind.

We didn't take anything.

Where's Rachel?

She's in the box office.

[whimsical music]

Did you take all the stock

out of the stockroom?

Huh?

Just answer the question.

No. Why? [Chuckles]

Um, did you see anybody take

the stock out of the stockroom?

Dan, what the heck are you talking about?

Okay. What is this?

Is this just "Let's make the

manager look stupid day"?

No, seriously, we're

not kidding around, man.

Look, maybe somebody broke in,

took everything and went out the back.

Yeah, but I was only

gone for, like, two minutes.

Listen, there's no way they

took everything out that quick.

Yeah, those soda syrup

boxes weigh, like, 50 pounds.

All right.

Well, whatever.

It's the last week.

I was just gonna give it to you guys.

Whoever wanted that crap, anyways.

Harold doesn't want it anymore,

so I guess the joke's on you.

Just don't take any of the f*cking money.

[Jake sighs]

[rustling]

Dude. Dude.

I just saw someone

jerking it in the bathroom.

Oh. Someone just flashed

you with their b*ner?

Well, no, but I saw

someone jacking off in a stall.

What? Dude, why are you

lurking on people in the stalls?

Dude, I wasn't lurking.

I mean, well, I kind of was,

but I was just walking by,

doing my bathroom check,

and someone was spanking it.

It was kind of hard to miss.

"Kind of hard"?

That's what she said.

[sighs]

Hey, have you heard from Nick today?

[Wily] No.

He's supposed to meet up with me

tonight and help me out with my short.

You know how he is, man.

Well, we sh**t at the theater tomorrow.

If he doesn't show up, I'm kind of screwed.

Hey, you think you could make it out?

Yeah.

-Yeah?

-Sure.

Awesome. [Chuckles] Oh, we

start when the theater closes.

But if you could get here a

little earlier, that'd be great.

-Okay. Yeah.

-All right, man.

Well, I, I got to run, but, uh, I'll

catch you tomorrow, all right?

-Got it.

-Thanks.

[laughs]

[eerie music]

[ominous music]

[engine starts]

[Sadie in movie] Thanks, baldie.

Well, boys, let's dip the beak.

[Bates] Well, now, ain't

that a beautiful sight?

After you lots, delight in me gizzard.

[O'Hara] I'll find a glass

for you, Miss Thompson.

[Sadie] What for? Down the hatch.

[Bates laughs] Now, there's

a lady after me own heart.

[Sadie] Friend of mine slipped

me that just before I left Honolulu.

"Not that you'll need it, Sadie," said he.

[Bates] And right he was, Sadie.

You're not the type that

needs hooch to pep you up.

[Sadie] Nah, I was born hooched.

[Hodgson] Holy moly, look

at this! The "Wabash Blues."

[Sadie] Music and a nip of liquor,

that's what a rainy day is for, says I.

[coughing]

The f*ck?

Busted!

What the f*ck, man?

I'm too high for this sh*t.

Dude, how many times do I got to tell you?

You don't smoke weed in the building.

If you're going to, just

hit the f*cking vape, man.

Dude, what's the matter,

huh? It's the last week.

Yeah. Now it's going to reek in here.

[sighs]

We don't open for another 20 minutes.

All right. Well... lemme

get a hit of that too.

There we go.

Dude, what are you going

to do after you leave here?

I don't know.

I think I'm just gonna take

some time off, collect my bearings

and some unemployment while I'm at it.

I hear you, man.

[scoffs] It's f*cking bullshit, man.

I mean, it's like everything I

love is being taken away from me.

-Video stores, record stores.

-[poignant piano music]

sh*t, movie theaters. [Scoffs]

What the f*ck am I supposed to do now?

It's like... [coughs]

Isn't technology supposed

to make our lives better?

I feel like it's making my sh*t worse.

Yeah. I was driving around

the other night after I left a flick,

and normally I'd maybe hit

up the video store, you know,

see if they have any cool,

like, used stuff for sale.

Yeah.

But now those are all gone. I just go home.

[coughs] Surf through

the streaming channels.

[laughs]

It's just not the same.

sh*t's f*cking weak, man.

What about you? I mean,

you got anything lined up?

Yeah. [Coughs]

Supposed be starting over

at All For a Buck next week.

[chuckles] Nice.

[scoffs] No.

No, not really. Not at all.

[exhales]

I don't give a sh*t about

that f*cking store, man.

I'm gonna have to put up with

a whole bunch of stupid bullshit

and listen to horrible music all day,

and then deal with idiot-a*s customers

coming in and asking me where sh*t is.

[scoffs] Hopefully, I

don't f*cking k*ll myself.

[Dan snickers]

-Yeah.

[Dan chuckles]

[Wily scoffs]

[softly] sh*t.

Yeah.

[whimsical music]

How are you doing, my darling?

This place looks absolutely hideous.

Come. Come on in.

Don't worry about the mess. This

atrocity will be gone soon enough.

Please, please. This way.

What is that ghastly smell?

-Hey, Dan.

-Yeah?

Hey.

Who are those people?

They're investors.

Harold's looking to tear this building

down so he can put up condos.

Oh, sh*t, man.

-f*ck.

-Yeah, pretty much.

You seen Nick yet?

No.

Okay, well, I should probably call him.

Oh. Yeah.

[sighs]

Yo, dude, it's Dan. Where are you at?

You were supposed to be

in the theater 30 minutes ago.

Call me back.

[clicks tongue] Eh. You know, whatever.

I guess I'll text Val,

see if she can come in.

-Ooh. That'll make her day.

-[Snickers]

[Wily chuckles]

[whimsical music]

[laughing]

You are my baby You are lovely

Oh, it's so hot in here. So hot.

[laughs]

[whispering] Oh, you,

don't be jealous. It's okay.

Oh, yeah.

[inhales, sighs contentedly]

I'll see you soon.

Woof.

Looks like someone had a rough night.

-f*ck off.

-[Snickers]

There's nobody even here.

Why the f*ck did I come in for this?

Yeah, you never know.

Might be a mad dash for popcorn.

People might start running

out of toilet paper again

and need some kernels

to wipe their a*s with.

That doesn't even make any sense.

[Val] And the popcorn

is shitty enough as it is.

[scoffs]

Hm.

I kind of like the popcorn.

Where the f*ck is Nick?

Uh, I was gonna ask you

the same thing. [Chuckles]

-He worked on Sunday, right?

-Yeah. He stayed the whole shift

and shut the theater down with me.

Well, it's not like him

to be a no call, no show.

I know.

I hope he's okay.

[ominous organ music]

[object clatters]

-[sighs]

[Val exhales]

[exhales sharply]

-[Dan] Here's some change.

-Thanks.

Okay.

Um, hi.

[chuckles]

-Can I buy a ticket?

[chuckles] Yeah. So sorry.

Yes. That'll be $10.

[Val sighs]

Ah.

-Enjoy the show.

-Thanks.

[sighs]

[indistinct chatter] -[man 1] Yeah,

man, I was just reading the reviews.

-I'm excited to see it.

-[man 2] Yeah, so am I.

-[man 1] Yeah, let's see it.

-[man 2] For sure.

-Hello?

-Hey. How are you doing?

-What can I get you?

-Two, please.

Sure thing. That'll be $20.

Thank you.

-[Harold] So, we'll be speaking next week?

-[Investor] Sure thing.

-[Harold] Great.

-Thank you.

[Val] Mm-hm.

[engine revving in distance]

Can I help you?

If it's money you're after,

I don't have any cash.

Go on.

Shoo.

Shoo, you vagrant!

I'm calling the police.

[bones breaking]

-[groans]

[grunting]

Stop, please! Stop!

[yells]

[banging]

-[grunting]

[thuds]

[tense music]

[heartbeat pulsating]

[ominous music]

[inaudible]

This is tearing me apart.

-Again?

-Yeah. Let's do it again.

Okay.

Hey, man, thanks for

making it out. Appreciate it.

-It's no problem.

-Wanna meet them?

Yeah.

Hey, this is Wily.

He'll be doing sound for us today.

-Uh, this is Mike and Vanessa.

-[Vanessa] Hi.

-Hey. What's up?

-Hey.

What's happening?

Let me show you the sound gear.

Cool.

Hey, did you get a chance

to check out that manual?

Yep. Checked it out last night before bed.

Okay. Well, while you get

acclimated with this stuff,

I'm going to finish setting up the shot.

If you have any

questions, just let me know.

Sounds good.

Did you hear what I did there?

Uh...

Okay, Walter Murch.

Thanks.

So, how are we doing so far?

-I think we got it.

-Yeah.

Cool. Um, I'm just about

finished setting up the shot.

[warbling]

[Vanessa] So, when I

came out of the bathroom,

I had toilet paper running

down my panties. [Chuckles]

Oh, sh*t.

Literally.

[recorder beeps]

-And action.

-[Film whirring]

What do you mean? You

don't love me anymore?

[Mike] Babe, what are you talking about?

You are the only thing I love.

[Vanessa] Doesn't seem that way to me.

This is tearing me apart.

And that is a cut.

Okay. Uh, loving the intensity.

You're really giving Tommy

Wiseau a run for his money.

[Jake] Uh, okay.

Now let's try it like...

Okay, you know that she...

-[circuits scrambling]

[sound scrambling]

[scrambling stops] -Um,

and she doesn't know that.

She, she dreamt all of this,

so this... It wasn't even real.

Right? [Muffled] And you know that.

So, just try to portray that...

[circuits scrambling] -[unknown voice

through headset] Destroy the Hays Code.

[Jake] Okay. All right,

let's give it another try.

You good to go?

Dude, I don't know.

What do you mean?

Just heard some weird sh*t.

Mm-hm.

[smacks lips] Let's, uh...

Uh, dude, you got to understand

everyone has their own method,

[softly] but you don't criticize the actors in

front of them. You do that behind their back.

[Wily] No, no, no. That's

not what I'm talking about.

I heard some noises.

Like whispering.

-Like, during the take?

-No, no, no.

Like, just now, while you

were talking to the actors.

Well, if it wasn't during

the take, then whatever.

All right.

Hey, dude. How high are you right now?

No, no. Trust me, you

want me to be high for this.

[chuckles] It'll make it all sound better.

Besides, anyway, that's not

what we're talking about right now.

You're sure?

-Yeah.

-You, you know, you're probably right.

You'll probably be able to reach

some other plane of sound design,

and that's what we do

like. But just let me know

if it happens again during a take.

-Okay?

-Okay.

All right, let's go again.

That'll be $4.75.

Thanks. Enjoy the show.

[plastic rustling]

[clicks, whirs]

So, what do you think are in those bags?

I don't know.

I've been seeing that

dude around for years.

He's always got some plastic bags with him.

Exactly. I have never

seen him here without that.

Whatever's in them, it's got

to be a bit on the heavy side.

I mean, look.

Looks like they have a

little bit of weight to them.

Well, I, I wonder if he's

got actual weights in them.

I used to have a friend of a

friend who told me that his friend

used to walk around his

house constantly with weights.

You know, just to build up his strength.

Maybe the bag man is just

trying to get his daily workout on.

Maybe. But that theory is not fun.

I bet he's got bombs in there just to nuke

a m*therf*cker whenever he feels the need.

Yeah, like, bombs in buildings are fun.

I mean, I guess he does kind of have a

Timothy McVeigh, Unabomber vibe about him.

Well, could it be money? Like, like,

all the money he has in the world.

I mean, the bag man just

doesn't have any faith in the banks,

so he carries all his

money around constantly.

No, no, no. I could see

that being problematic.

That basically makes him

a constant walking target.

He could get mugged,

like, wherever he went.

But if it is money,

you should see if he wants

to donate to save the theater.

-Or better yet, buy it.

-[Scoffs]

What? The dude is here enough as it is.

I'm sure he would not

want to see the place go.

Yeah. I'm sure Harold would

sell this place to the highest bidder.

[seats thud]

[zipper zips]

[object clatters]

Have a nice day.

[suspenseful music]

[eerie music]

-Hey!

-Oh!

What the f*ck, dude? You

freaked the f*ck out of me.

Sorry, man. Well, look.

You're gonna want to hear this.

[recorder beeps]

[unknown voice through

headset] Destroy the Hays Code.

Right?

Give it a listen.

-Play that back for her.

-[Wily] Okay.

[unknown voice through

headset] Destroy the Hays Code.

Sure sounds like it,

but it's kind of faint.

Yeah, well, Harold once told me

that he thought this place was haunted.

What?

[with accent] I want to suck your blood.

That's Dracula, you goof.

[thud]

-[creaking]

What was that?

I don't know.

-[Wily] It's the f*cking ghost.

-Wait, wait, wait. Be quiet.

[thud]

Dude. Dude.

It's the f*cking movie.

-Oh, my God.

-[Chuckles]

-Yeah.

-[Jake] Jesus.

You guys know that this building

once burned down in the '30s?

-Really?

-Yeah.

It was back when they still had

nitrate film, which was highly flammable.

Happened during a screening,

actually. They were doing a double bill

of The Thin Man and After The Thin Man,

and it was halfway

through the second feature

that the fire broke out

in the projection booth.

The people didn't even

realize that there was a fire.

They, they all just started shouting

and booing to get the movie going again.

And then a riot broke out.

It was during the scuffle the fire

spread and people got trapped inside.

Wait, people actually died here?

[Dan] Apparently. I

think, like, a dozen or so.

Man, that was crazy, man.

So, so, this place has, like, ghosts?

We should try and summon the spirits.

What, like, with a Ouija board?

No, with, like, a medium.

-[Wily] You know of any?

-[Dan] I have a friend of a friend who does.

You should try and get a hold of

him. We don't have much longer

to figure out if this place is haunted.

Okay, I'll give him a call.

But you guys need to

get back down on the floor.

There's a lady present here.

[scoffs] If you say so.

Ooh.

No, but it's always, "You guys"

and never, "You girls should get

back up on the floor," you know?

I mean, you walk around calling

people girls, people think you're weird,

but you say, "You

guys," no one bats an eye.

-Hey, you guys...

-Shut it, you f*cking weasel.

All right, all right. This is

a battle for another day.

But for now, would all of you guys and gals

please get back down on the floor?

[sighs heavily] Okay.

But I'm not washing dishes.

[Jake] Fine.

-Wily will grab the dishes.

-[Wily] What?

I'm not even supposed to be here today.

[thud]

[ominous music]

[body thuds]

[matchstick strikes]

All right, let's all take a

deep breath and try to relax.

[inhales]

[exhales]

Okay.

Take some of the protection oil...

and put it on the back of your

neck to ward against evil spirits.

So, like, what kind of signs

would there be if spirits could, like,

be in the room with us right now?

[Vivienne] Well, what you want to look for

is things in your peripheral vision,

like light orbs and, and shadows.

[Dan] Okay.

Also, goosebumps are a sign.

[Dan] Mm. Interesting.

Also, if the room gets

cold, that's another sign.

Oh, well, maybe we should

turn off the air conditioning.

-I'm already cold.

-Oh.

Should we turn on the heat? Is it...

Guys, guys, come on.

Be serious. Pay attention.

Okay, okay.

Are we set?

[softly] Yeah.

[Vivienne softly] Okay

[slow instrumental music]

Light into dark, turning.

Luck be in the burning.

With the ringing of the bell...

[bell ringing] -...let's

hope to lift the spell.

One, two, three.

Let us all be able to see.

Now, who are we summoning?

I had a dog I loved once.

Well, I've been told that

this building is haunted.

I see.

You see somebody?

I...

I sense an emotional imprint.

They're laughing and, and they're...

Something's funny.

Wait, "They"?

And something about a man on a diet.

Yeah, they were here for a

screening of The Thin Man.

Oh.

Did you see that movie

Nightmare on Elm Street?

[chuckles] Y... yeah, of course.

Well, there was this one time I got food

poisoning while watching Freddy's Dead,

so I never actually watched

the whole thing. [Chuckles]

[laughing] But, man, that sh*t

was coming out of both ends.

Ew. Gross. TMI.

Wait, which one of those

had Kevin Bacon in it?

You're thinking of Friday

the 13th. That's Jason.

-Really?

-Mm-hm.

Oh. Well, I guess I haven't

seen any of the Freddy movies.

What?

-[Scoffs] Okay, wait.

You know what Freddy looks like, right?

[scoffs] Yeah.

They look like Freddy. They're burnt.

And this building burned down in the '30s.

-[Vivienne] Oh.

-[Jake whispering] Oh, my God.

That's why they're all

wearing antique clothing.

Are they saying anything?

They're saying you need to

leave this place immediately.

You're all in grave danger.

Well, we're all getting fired in a few

days, so chances are that's what that is.

No. No, no, no.

If you don't leave this place,

they're saying you're all going to die.

[suspenseful music]

[thudding]

-[Jake] Oh, f*ck.

[Dan] What the f*ck?

-[Light bulb ignites]

[screaming]

[laughing] You numskull.

It's the KKK, baby.

[softly] Oh, Jesus Christ.

[organ stinger]

[man 1 in movie] Hey, hey.

What'd I tell you before, huh? Huh?

[popcorn crunching]

-Call me Maverick.

-[man 2] Anyway, here's your package.

-[man 1] Hey, all right, man.

I have no idea what this is. You

see, sometimes I just get sh*t-faced

and order some stuff on

the online. EBays and sh*t...

Man, it's just been so long since I've

seen something in the theater. I just...

I don't even know how to feel anymore.

I know.

-Was popcorn always this dry?

-Shh.

[man 1] Yeah, f*ck it, bro, right

now. I can always find a spot for that.

You should shush him next

time. See how he likes it.

I was thinking about doing that,

but he wasn't making a sound.

-We can do it at the same time if you want.

-Yeah.

On three. On three.

-Two. Three.

-Two.

-Shh...

-[movie continues playing]

Hey, Wily, can I grab a refill?

Yeah. No problem.

So, how are you enjoying the movie?

It's not bad. Yeah.

So... you're really closing

the theater this weekend, huh?

Yeah.

It's a shame. I'm really

going to miss this place.

It's got me through

some pretty tough times.

-[chuckles] I hear you. Same here.

-Yeah.

Mm. Hey, but you've been coming to

this place for as long as I can remember.

[chuckles] I mean, I remember

seeing you around here

before I even started working here.

Well, I used to just come

here just to see the movies.

Yeah, you know, I'm

what they call a regular.

But I didn't start coming

here until my husband died.

He passed from cancer.

I was completely lost.

He was, he was my best friend.

[sighs] I was all alone,

and felt I had nowhere to go.

And one day, I was just

reading through the newspaper

and I saw an ad for something

that was playing here.

So I decided to go to the movies.

[somber music]

Took me a long time to get

over the passing of my husband.

Not exactly over it. I guess you never do.

But I started coming here every

week just to see what was playing.

And it kept me going. It gave me something

to do, something to look forward to.

Kept my mind off the troubles I was having.

Made me feel less alone.

Guess I'll see you around.

Till then, save me a seat?

[intense music]

[thuds]

-Hey.

-Hey.

Where's, uh, Wily and Nick?

Oh, they texted me

saying they couldn't make it.

[suspenseful music]

[eerie music]

Guess those guys are too cool for school.

-Hm.

-Should we head up to the balcony?

So, I guess this is it. Last night.

[Val] Well, we've still

got a couple of days.

Yeah, but I mean,

like, the last night for us.

Last night we get to enjoy the theater.

So, what movie did you bring?

Me and You and Everyone We Know.

[laughs] I love that one.

-[Jake] I've never seen.

-It's good.

The opening sequence is surreal.

Dude lights his hand on fire.

Miranda July's monologue too.

Oh. Yeah.

It's so funny, and sad,

and deep, awkward all at the same time.

[Val] Still kind of crazy how

she foresaw that the Internet

-would have such an impact on our lives.

-Guys, spoilers.

-I haven't seen the movie yet.

-[chuckles] Don't worry.

We're not ruining anything.

Did you know she was a sex worker?

Miranda July?

Yeah, she had quite a varied career.

-[Rachel chuckles]

-Performance artist, novelist.

She had a spoken word record

come out on K Records too.

It was the only tattoo

that Kurt Cobain ever had.

[Jake] The K Records logo?

Yeah.

Well...

shall we?

[Val and Rachel chuckle]

[Rachel sighs]

[serene music]

[indistinct chatter in movie]

[female burglar] We

don't want to hurt anyone.

We just want the money.

[clattering]

[male burglar] Give us

the money in the safe.

-Put it all in the bag!

-Okay.

[male burglar] Keep going!

-[female burglar] Okay, let's go!

-[Val shudders]

Winston, Cecelia.

[clock ticking]

Sorry, Miss Valerie.

It's okay. You need this more than us.

[gasping]

[tense music]

[male officer] What were

the assailants wearing?

[Val] Um, hooded sweatshirts and jeans.

[male officer] Did you

recognize the assailants?

No.

They were wearing ski masks.

[male officer] Okay.

I think we have all the

information we need for now.

If you think of anything else,

please don't hesitate to contact us.

-[female officer] We'll be in touch.

-[Dan] Thanks.

[Dan] Are you going to be okay?

[Val] Yeah, I think so.

[Dan] I can't believe that happened.

[Val] Harold is gonna be pissed.

[Dan] Yeah, if he even calls me back.

I'm surprised he's not

here right now, freaking out.

You know that's not

what's important, right?

Your safety is what's important.

You know, it's his own damn fault

for leaving all his savings in the vault.

[Val] I guess he's really

gonna need the money

from selling the theater now.

-Hey.

-Hey.

Um, so, are you gonna come

to my show next weekend?

-[snickers] Yeah, sure.

-[Chuckles] Cool.

-What's your band called, again?

-Oh, The Drive-In Mutants.

-[snickers] That's sick.

-[Both laugh]

You know, I was a

musician myself in my youth.

-Really?

-Yeah.

I played guitar. [Inhales sharply]

We did a bit of touring.

Opened up for Iggy Pop once.

-Holy sh*t. What did you guys sound like?

-[Val laughing]

Uh, I guess we were kind

of like a riot grrrl [sic] band.

Though we came around well

after that movement had ended.

I guess you could say

that was our main influence.

Bands like L7.

[Rachel] Detroit band?

No, the other one.

You know about the Detroit one?

[both laugh]

Okay, yes, but only because

they had a recent reissue.

-Oh, that's awesome.

-[Chuckles]

-What's your band sound like?

-Oh, um,

-we're mostly score-driven.

-[Clicking]

-Like movie score stuff?

-Yeah.

And we dress up like monsters

from Creature Features.

[chuckles] That's awesome.

[chuckles] -I can't wait to see it.

[Rachel] Hm.

[groans] Something's up with the fuse.

I gotta go check it.

Okay, um, I'm gonna head out.

All right. See you.

Hey.

Are you okay?

After what happened earlier.

Yeah.

It's just, you know, that

you continued to work.

Ohh...

the theater needed me.

All right, get out of here.

And be safe getting home.

Okay. Thanks.

[sighs]

[objects clattering]

[slow instrumental music]

I don't know what's up with Wily and Nick.

Yeah, I can't say I blame 'em.

Probably just didn't want to

go down with the sinking ship.

Yeah, but I can't say it

doesn't hurt a little, though.

I expected more from them.

Well, the show must go on.

[Dan snickers]

You're not gonna believe this.

[indistinct chatter]

[laughter]

[Jake] We're gonna need more snacks.

[Rachel] You wanted just one?

There you go. Enjoy the show.

Hi.

Just one?

[Rachel] There you go. Enjoy the show.

Hi, there. Just one?

-There you go. Enjoy the show.

-[Val laughing]

[woman] Awesome. Thank you.

[Dan] I guess people do care.

[Val] We better help out Rachel and Jake.

[Dan] Good idea. I'll take

the floor, you take the stand.

Got it.

[upbeat music]

[muted]

[muted]

[projector whirring]

[both sigh]

Whoo! [Chuckles]

[audience exclaiming]

[audience laughing]

[Dan sighs]

[man in movie grunting]

[audience laughing]

-[woman in audience gasps]

-[man in movie] I'm sorry.

[man in movie sighs]

[g*nshots]

-[audience yelling]

[suspenseful music]

[woman screaming]

[rock music]

[neck snaps]

[g*nsh*t]

-[thuds]

-Run.

-[Woman shrieks]

[crowd cheering]

Well, I guess the silver lining

with this being the last day and all

is that we don't have

to clean up this mess.

[Val] We can't leave this place like this.

Why not?

f*ck this place. I'm out.

[Dan chortles]

-Okay.

[fly buzzing]

[suspenseful music]

[eagle screeches]

Hi.

We know this is

supposed to be the last day,

and with everything that just went on...

we all pulled together and decided

that there's just no way we can let

this place become something else.

Hi, Miss Valerie.

[bag crunching]

[Dan chuckles]

[organ music]

[Rachel laughing] Oh, my God.

[Val gasps]

[laughter]

[crowd cheering]

Geez. Get a f*cking room.

Bad news is that now we're

gonna have to clean up.

[Rachel] sh*t.

Don't worry, we'll pitch in.

Well, should we grab a beer?

Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

-Thankfully, none of us have to open tomorrow.

-[Rachel snickers]

When do you think we are going to reopen?

I mean, we are co-owners

now. We're calling the shots.

Let's worry about that later

and just enjoy the moment.

[Dan snickers]

Cinema lives.

[Rachel chuckles]

[Sadie] I don't know why I get all

this attention from you, Mr. Davidson.

I guess you mean well.

I think I can worry along as I've been

worrying along for these several years.

I've gone my own way

and don't ask any favors.

[Alfred] Those who have the

key of salvation offered them

and fail to open the

door must be destroyed.

[Sadie] Oh, I see what you

mean, but I won't get destroyed.

I always make out one way or another.

[slow instrumental music]

[gentle music]

[organ music]