01x05 - Wild Goose Chase

[bunniefuu]

(sobbing) His seizures

were getting worse.

And the doctor begged him

to stop driving, but

Sylvester was Sylvester.

I'm sure the coroner will

confirm the same.

I'm very sorry, Mary.

And that's it?

You're sorry?

No, like

Like, I'm I'm very sorry.

Rose

.. you said you found him at

the turn-off to Kildee.

Coming from work, that's

the long way home, so

Why was he even there?

Traffic. Spare me!

He was on his way

to meet someone.

Lookit

Now, we don't know that.

You can find out.

You can get

his phone records.

I want to meet his tart,

and you're going to help me

find her. Mary!

Getting those phone records

could take weeks.

Maybe even months.

It won't help you, like.

If there's one thing I learned

being married to Sylvester,

it's patience.

I'll wait.

(rippling melody)

(child's voice) Elvira!

Elvira

Elvira Clancy!

(clattering)

Why did you run away?

(exasperated sigh)

These editorial meetings.

It's like our weekly

public flogging.

Have you got anything for him?

Uhm

Yeah, good for you.

I'm screwed.

My pal Maria and I have hit

another brick wall.

Then do what I do.

Revisit your notes,

start afresh.

You know, I'm actually

so glad you said that.

Cos see I interviewed

your dad a while back.

And I asked him what time

he got home that night.

And he said it was after 11,

and that you could confirm it.

So can you?

Are you saying

you don't believe my dad?

Whoa!

(nervous laugh)

What no! Are you saying

I shouldn't ask the question?

No, no. The question is okay.

It's how you're asking it, I don't

like. Well, how am I asking it?

Like you've been rehearsing it

all morning. (he chuckles)

Ah, you really do miss nothing.

It's my job. Which makes you

Frightening? Fascinating.

So you can confirm that

he came home at 11?

Because if you can't--

Who says I can't?

You did. No.

I said, I didn't like how you

asked the question.

Not that I couldn't answer it.

It still doesn't answer

the question! Careful.

The last thing Dad needs is for

me to get caught in a lie.

I'll have a think.

Should be easy enough to clear up.

(phone ringing in office)

Right

Who's got the gold dust?

Over to you, Kate.

Okay, the Tidy Towns Committee

has been disbanded.

Let me guess. Another sex scandal?

Worse.

When they're not ba*ls-deep running

rubbish in their back gardens,

our recent poll found 80%

of people in our town

think the community clean-ups

are a waste of time.

It's a bit downbeat though, isn't

it?

We need something--

Okay, how about this?

A local farmer started spray-

painting black lines on his sheep.

According to him, it repels

the flies. How is that a story?

It's not. But he told a load

of American tourists

that the sheep were crossed

with zebras.

And they fell for it? Paid 20

quid each for a selfie!

I dunno. I think keep digging.

(voice on radio in background)

(whirring)

One more thing.

Emerson

I've something right up your street.

Dolly Stenson.

(laughter)

Lives by the woods.

She was robbed.

And this sort of story

is meat and drink around here.

So I want a thousand words

for the next edition.

That's not possible, Hughie.

It's money in your pocket.

It's only words!

Now

Lovely, grand.

Thanks very much.

Okay. Slán

(bell tinkling)

Right, back to work.

Actually, I have something.

Would it be okay if you held

a section of the paper for me?

Who died? I can't tell you yet.

Sorry. Yet?

So they're still alive?

But you know they're going to die,

this very week?

Have you any idea how weird

that sounds?

There's someone in your office.

I'll go check. Sit.

(tense music)

Hello?

(music builds to crescendo)

Hughie Burns? That's me.

Where do you want them?

(sighs) I don't.

(seagulls crying)

Did you ever find that person who

wrote those nasty letters?

Yes. They're dead now.

It's too long, isn't it?

But trying to decide what to cut

from Andrew's life is-- Impossible.

It's okay. I'll fix it.

I know you don't let family memories

write obituaries,

but it would mean the world to us,

if it was in our own words.

So people would understand why.

I asked the editor to reserve space.

I'm sure once I explain,

he'll be fine.

Good. Right well, could you sit

with him for a moment?

I want to tell the neighbours to

take the bins out while we're away.

And don't be afraid to chat to him.

He's still got that wicked

sense of humour.

One blink for no,

two blinks for yes.

(door opening, closing)

♪

At last!

The dirty b*stard!

(phone pad keys tapping)

(phone ringing)

"Mal here. Leave a message.

Go---"

(slams phone cradle)

(clock ticking)

What you wrote, it's lovely.

Can I get you anything?

You know, I tried to k*ll myself

once.

I couldn't quite seal the deal,

like you're about to.

It's weird.

Here I am, desperately needing

advice and you can't--

I can tell you anything,

and you can't say a word, right?

Okay

Well, as I said

.. I tried to k*ll myself.

Only my best friend found me,

but,

instead of doing something,

she left me for dead.

And then there's her boyfriend.

(sighs)

I can't explain it, but

He likes me,

and when I'm with him,

I'm happy.

And believe me, the world's

a safer place when I'm happy.

Look, I'm not saying I'd

.. k*ll her.

But the thought

has crossed my mind.

So what's your take on it?

(clock ticking)

Sorry, say that again?

You're saying I should

you know

(small laugh)

Wow

That is a surprise.

Huh.

So are you excited

for Switzerland?

(clock ticking)

The-the assisted suicide.

You

You don't want to die?

(foreboding music)

Is your wife making you do this?

You want to live?

♪

You're you're pulling the piss.

(Elvira chuckles)

Oh, so let me guess.

Earlier you were joking

about me and my friend?

Yeah, I was joking too.

I'd never hurt anyone.

You understand that, yeah?

Yeah?

Good chat, this.

You know what you're about to do,

dying with dignity?

(keys turning in door)

Not many people get to do that.

So how was he?

I couldn't shut him up.

♪

(car engine gliding)

(whispering)

(car engine gliding)

Boy or girl? Girl.

Had it a name?

Are you being smart?

No, of course not. No.

You don't name geese. Ever!

Look at her. She's in bits.

They mate for life, you know?

I think that's swans.

Oh, you're a vet now too, yeah?

Let me tell you something,

she's not the first thing

stolen off this farm.

Look, I'm sorry.

(geese squawks)

But we can't rule out a fox.

Or maybe she escaped

on her own.

He's not listening to Dolly,

is he?

She was stolen, alright?

Or is this some big joke to you?

The country bumpkin

who cried wolf again.

Again?

Cars in the night.

Lights in the sky.

I see things.

Tell them to the Guards,

but they laugh at me.

Here, what's with that? Just some

notes for the story. Tell me--

No, no, no. I say nothing to the

press, until the press does its job.

But I've got a thousand words to

write.

Bring her home to me,

and you'll get ten thousand!

♪

(door opening)

(tense music)

Come on, Hughie.

Give me something.

(music continues)

'Maria, you are my shining light

in a dull, black world.'

Dear God man,

what were you thinking?

(sighs)

(keys jangling)

(distant bang)

"A literal wild goose chase. Just to

distract me from Maria Riedle.

Well, it could be worse."

How so?

"I could be stuck looking through

a bunch of Clive's old files

that I've already looked through."

(Hughie chuckles)

Stay out of my office.

(Emerson laughs)

"Make me." Fine.

But remember

You've no idea where

this Dolly thing might lead.

"Is that right, yeah?"

You might have

the story of your life,

right in front of you.

"Yeah."

♪

(falling, crashing noise)

(door handle turning)

Jaysus!

Ughhh!

Hey girl come on.

(angry squawk)

Come on

It's okay

Whoa, Jaysus!

(squawking continues)

(music builds)

(music fades)

CLIVE'S VOICE: 'If you're reading

this, I'm dead.'

'RIP me.'

'You're probably wondering,

how desperate does

a dying man get,

in his search for a k*ller?'

'Enough to ask the unimaginable.

What if Maria isn't

the only victim?'

'I know, desperate!'

'But if a k*ller gets away with it,

who is to say

they won't do it again.'

'This is a collection

of every curious death in town

since Maria's m*rder.'

'If there's a clue to be found,

I'll find it.

If not, I died trying.'

Poor deluded fool.

♪

(engine revving)

(clattering)

What happened your hand?

Let's just say those girls in school

won't be calling you those names

EVER again.

I have sandwiches,

if you're hungry.

Yeah! I'm SO hungry.

I'm f*cking starved.

♪

ELVIRA V/O:

I just can't do it.

(knocking)

(lively traditional music on radio)

Emerson Stafford,

Kilraven Chronicle.

I was hoping you wouldn't mind

if I looked around your farm,

briefly-- I'm looking for a goose.

TOM: "We've another problem.

Another journalist. Stafford."

Yeah, what does he want?

"Ah, he made up some bullshit

about a goose.

Asked to look around the farm."

Think he knows anything

about the r*fle?

"I only know this is getting

f*cked up, Ward.

Fix it. Or I'll fix you."

Fix me how?

"You saw what I did to that prick

in the post office.

And judging by your nose,

I'm not sure I could take

another beating."

Cheeky prick.

Here! That's my machine.

Go on to f*ck.

Move! Can I just--

Good luck.

(machine sings and whirrs)

(coins spilling)

f*ck's sake!

I need the jacks.

During training, they told us

to interview people

when they needed the loo.

A full bladder has a way

of making folks talk.

Talk about what? Why have you

dragged me in here?

When I was a girl, I found out

my father was playing around.

I told my mother.

Do you know what she did?

Forgave him,

and never forgave you.

Since then,

I swore to stay out of other

people's personal business.

Until now.

Because now, Mallory,

I have no choice.

Identify that, please.

An aubergine.

No, it's not.

Okay, an eggplant.

I said, it's not!

You said it's not what.

An aubergine or an eggplant?

Well, they're the same thing.

That's my point.

It's neither of those things.

It's both of those things.

It's not, I said! Yes, it is!

It's a c*ck!

Christ, woman. What kind of c*ck

have you been dealing with?

Sylvester McHugh?

His widow Mary, has been at

me to look into this thing further

on a more personal basis.

Now, what bothers Mary is this.

What dragged Sylvester out of his

way that fateful night, huh?

The thing is, I just got

his phone records.

(sighs)

The night he died,

Sylvester got a text,

from your number.

That c*ck thing.

You've c*ck on the brain.

It's an invite for sex.

At 9.17, Sylvester replied

with two messages.

Both to your number,

saying, 'The usual place,

20 minutes.'

I didn't send those texts. And yet,

they came from your phone!

I swear on my life.

Then who did?

(inhales)

Rose, you know what his wife

will do to me?

She'll kick me out.

I've lost my dole,

I can't afford any other rent.

Sylvester was my landlord.

He offered me a good deal.

I'm sorry

But you are going to have

to tell Mary yourself.

I can't-- I cannot be the one

to ruin her life.

She'll never look at me

the same again.

How long do I have?

To tell Mary the truth?

No, to find the real texter. Get

them to confess. f*ck's sake!

(sighs) Fine.

24 hours.

(keyboard tapping)

(phone buzzing)

(message tinkles)

You're working late.

Well, the Great Goose Chase

won't write itself.

You weren't at my house,

were you?

I don't even know where you live.

Well, somebody was.

Well, it wasn't me.

You know, I'm a lot closer

than you think.

To catching that goose?

To finding her k*ller.

(Hughie chuckles)

Well now that's funny,

because however close

you think you are,

I'm closer.

How close?

That close.

Goodnight.

f*ck! f*ck.

(sighs)

(tsks)

(mysterious music)

Check his meds?

I'm so glad you texted.

I am mortified!

Why?

Saying that sh*t about you

and Emerson.

I'm worse.

The stuff I said,

the things I thought.

Let's move on.

Even better?

Let's get drunk.

♪

Do you think losing your mother

changed you?

Because

I think it changed me.

I think it's why I steal.

To make up for what was

stolen from me.

Like, look what I stole from you.

The night I first met Emerson,

you were going there

because you thought

it was a date.

That's not true.

(awkward laugh)

And I couldn't help myself.

I took him from you.

That's what that fight was about,

how I owe you.

Think about it. You practically ran

out of the pub that night.

No, my dad was sick.

I had to go.

Yeah, that's right.

And your phone died.

♪

(mouse clicking)

(music intensifies)

(whirring)

Weirdest thing happened to me today.

I ended up in the cop shop.

Oh my God, why? Do you remember

Sylvester McHugh?

How he died? An epileptic seizure

on the side of the road.

What's that got to do

with the guards?

Do you know what that is?

A c*ck.

No

Yeah. It's a c*ck.

(snort of laughter)

The night that Sylvester died,

he got a text from my phone

only I didn't send it.

No? No.

It was that night

.. that you, me and Emerson

had a drink.

And you left early because

your dad was sick.

(shudder of music)

Can you remember?

Was anyone at my phone?

I'm sure we can figure this out.

First, I just need the loo.

(chuckling)

What's so funny?

That guard today.

She said you should always

interview people when

they're busting for the jacks.

A full bladder makes people talk.

Oh.

She. f*cking. Knows.

Okay. Off you pop.

(tense music)

(music intensifies)

I have sandwiches,

if you're hungry.

Yeah. I'm SO hungry.

I'm f*cking starved.

Is peanut butter okay?

No, I'm allergic.

One bite, and you've got

a dead Mallory on your hands.

(speaker bleeps)

Fancy a few tunes?

What I fancy, is a Chinese.

Oh! I'll have my usual.

Mixed vegetable Szechuan.

(indie music plays)

Hope you're hungry. Hungry?

I'm f*cking starved.

(drums kick in)

(song builds)

What's it like?

Usual veggie shite, you?

Stunning.

(Mal gives small laugh)

So this Sylvester emoji.

That's really bugging me.

Me too. No, the song.

You know, it drives me nuts.

Change it then.

Okay, what I'm thinking is,

someone must have sent

the text from my phone.

Probably when my back

was turned.

Of course that means they'd have

to know my password.

(silence)

(phone snaps shut)

God, this thing has

my head wrecked.

For a second there,

I thought it might even be you.

(short laugh) Me?

That you sent the text, so that

Sylvester would text back

to get me out of the pub

that night.

You're right.

This really has your head wrecked.

Oh God.

Have you thought of something?

No, it's the wine.

It's running straight through me.

f*ck it!

(breathes heavily)

♪

(whirring)

(foreboding music)

ELVIRA V/O:

No

'No, I can't k*ll Mal!'

(door slams)

(heaving)

Does yours have nuts in it?

(hesitantly)

I'll check the menu.

(gagging)

Ha, no need. Are you okay?

(coughing, spluttering)

No, you're not.

Where is it!

(Mal coughs)

(urgently)

The pen, Mal. Where is it?

Your room, okay

(furious gasping)

The bloody Epi-pen!

I found it!

(gagging)

(cracking)

(music builds)

2008? Mal, f*cking hell!

FEMALE VOICE:

"Emergency services. What's

the nature of your emergency?"

My friend had anaphylactic shock.

She's dying.

"I've traced your location.

An ambulance is being dispatched.

Your friend's name and age, please?"

Mallory Markum. 25.

My name, it's Elvira Clancy.

"Elvira, the ambulance

will be there in six minutes."

(sobbing) She'll be dead by then.

I need one now!

"Is there an EpiPen available?"

It's not working.

Her mouth's all swollen.

She hasn't been breathing for like,

I dunno two minutes.

Just tell me what to do?

"Is there chest movement?

Any sign of lung function?"

You're not listening. No air is

going into her body. Just help me!

"Hang on, Elvira.

I'm putting you on hold."

No-- you most certainly are not.

(hold sound beeping)

Oh!

MALE VOICE:

"Hi, Elvira. My name is Dan,

I'm a doctor."

"I need you to find a knife, okay?"

Oh, I was afraid you'd say that.

Okay, I found one!

"Okay, good. Now her chin, tip it

as far back as it will allow."

"You'll find two lumps. Now take

the knife and cut vertically

between the pair of them."

I don't want to hurt her.

"Don't worry, you won't."

"Now, make a cut an inch long,

not too deep."

(blood gurgling)

(anguished gasp)

Next.

"Okay, good."

"Next you need to pierce her trachea

to get her breathing again."

How do I do that?

"You'll need to find a small tube.

A straw or a pen."

Whoa, whoa

"Elvira, did you find one?"

"Elvira, can you hear me?"

(low groan)

"Is she breathing, yeah?"

"Yes?" Yes.

(exhales)

"Good job. Well done.

The ambulance should be

with you any minute."

♪

ELVIRA V/O: For a moment there,

Emerson thought I k*lled Mal.

'As f*cked up as I am,

even I'm surprised at how happy

that makes me feel.'

'That he got to see me.'

'The real me.'

(thud, tyres screeching)

(gasp)

What the hell was that?!

I barely hit it!

I see.

I think I know.

(squawk)

(dripping)

(croaky voice) Maybe now I'll stop

stealing from your plate.

You saved my life.

(Mallory sobs)

That's what friends do.

Some friend I am.

Mallory, whatever you did,

I know most of it already.

It's come back in dribs and drabs,

but whatever you did,

no matter how bad it is,

I'll forgive you.

No, you won't.

(whispers) No, you won't.

I found you.

Five years ago,

in the forest car park.

You had tried-- I know.

k*ll myself.

I thought about saving you,

I did. I just--

I just remembered how much pain

you were in and I thought

Maybe she wants to die.

So you left me.

With her body in the boot

of your car.

Maria Riedle.

She was with me. She'd been shot.

That was that night?

III was gonna ring

an ambulance,

but then she said that she'd tell

everyone I stole her handbag.

I mean, if the cops found out,

I'd do time.

So you

I

I left her to die in your boot.

I ran.

Knowing ye'd both be dead.

And no one would know

what you did.

Wait, that doesn't make sense.

Maria's body was found in the woods.

What happened after you left?

I don't know

I don't wanna know.

I told you, you'd hate me.

I knew it.

(rueful laugh)

You can say it.

Oh, I'll never say that.

So what'll you do now?

(sobbing)

Get high on morphine!

(both laugh)

No, I mean about Sylvester's wife.

Will you tell her the truth?

The truth? That you texted

Sylvester.

You had drink taken that night,

but

now you remember.

I'll lose my house.

I'll have nowhere to go--

Earlier you asked me,

if my mother's death

had changed me.

And you know it did.

It taught me the power of

self-sacrifice.

How she gave her life,

so I could live.

So you'll sort this, yeah?

You know, as I stood over

your body earlier,

and decided you'd live,

I knew you'd do the same for me.

Good.

So we'll never speak of this again.

Not a word.

Your secret is safe with me.

I'll take it to the grave.

Send Emerson in.

Oh

What, where is he?

He got out on the way here.

He found that goose,

for his story.

His story.

I nearly died.

I'm sure he can explain later.

f*ck explain.

f*ck him. Sorry, Mal.

But that's the thing about this job,

it comes before everyone else.

(sobbing)

♪

DOLLY: Thanks for bringing her back,

but this article.

It's just another excuse

for people not to believe

a word out of my mouth.

Well you know what, Dolly?

f*ck 'em.

You're right.

By the way, my offer still stands.

Ah, you're very good.

But my boss is putting me up

for a few days, you're alright.

You know, for a man whose

woman kicked him out,

you seem kinda relieved.

(he chuckles)

Ah here, have you

someone else lined up?

Ah, I dunno.

I might have messed it up.

How?

I accused her father of m*rder.

Ooh yeah, that'll do it.

Yeah.

(faint sound of car engine)

Do you always do that?

Every car that passes,

goes into the book.

Day or night.

Do you mind if I take a look?

Oh, wow.

This goes back years.

(music chimes)

That road leads to the Maria Riedle

woods, right? It does.

Here this entry.

It means that car drove away from

the woods at five to midnight.

Then it came back. The same car

drove towards the wood

at quarter past four

in the morning.

Do you know the owner?

Can I please borrow this?

Sure.

(he laughs nervously)

(printer whirring)

(sinister music)

(bleeping)

(clicking)

Morning.

♪

(music intensifies)