01x02 - Union

[bunniefuu]

[Fuko gasps]

My unluck always gets people k*lled.

So I felt like I didn't deserve to live.

But I eventually met

an undead who found me amusing.

At first I hated it,

but being with him helped me

feel like I could keep living

a little bit longer.

At least, that's what I thought.

[gasps]

How'd things wind up like this?

[snickers]

If a kiss did that,

then [bleep] should make

an even bigger stroke

of unluck happen!

Like apocalyptic kind of stuff!

[Fuko grunts]

AREA

TIME

I'm talkin' a massive stroke

of unluck that completely overrides

the basic rules

about contact area duration!

While it's hot,

let's jump butt naked on this theory!

[groaning]

He's the worst!

It's like he only thinks

of me as a tool for dying!

What do I do?

I need to get out

of this situation somehow,

or else or else

My first time will be taken

by this foul-mouthed jerk!

I need to figure this out before

he tries to make a move.

All he cares about is tasting

the best of what death

has to offer.

[gasps] There has to be something.

- Oh, that's right! Likability!

- Huh?

The only people I've ever kissed are Mom,

Dad, you, and Grandpa,

and Grandpa had these freaky dentures that

scared the crap out of me.

[bones cracking]

GYAAAAAAA!

At the time all he got were sprained legs.

He passed away three years later.

UNLUCK - 3 YEARS LATER

NO CONTACT - DEATH

Too much of a time lag

for it to be my fault. My point is…

AREA - LIKABILITY

UNLUCK - TIME

the more I like a person,

the bigger the unlucky event becomes.

That's the key.

Hmm.

So, if you try to force me into any sort

of funny business right now, the end!

Game over! I'd end up hating you forever!

- [grunts]

- I mean it!

Forever and ever!

Are you really okay with that happening?

It means you'd get crummy unluck

and lose your shot

- at a proper death!

- [TV static buzzing]

[breathing heavily]

You don't say?

Pretty clear what the plan is, then.

- Huh?

- Basically,

I can't allow you to die until it happens.

Huh? Till what happens?

[Andy] Follow me.

AUGUST 2ND

Is this an armory?

I've set up places like this

all over the globe

for whenever I run into those guys.

[Fuko] "Those guys"?

Now, let's get crackin'.

Hmm?

[power tools clanging]

You're good to go!

- b*llet proof.

- [clanging]

- Stab proof!

- [blow lands]

And resistant to chemical weapons!

[Fuko] What's with all this heavy armor?

[Andy] It's a counter measure

against those guys from yesterday.

[Fuko] Uh, I see.

Just who were those guys, anyway?

An organization that polices

unidentified mysteries like ourselves.

As far as they're concerned,

we're the ones they gotta keep in check.

A second group of 'em are sure

to show up today.

B But we really socked it

to 'em good yesterday,

didn't we? I bet they're too freaked out

Fat chance. They've got

some reinforcements,

namely folks like us.

People who negate

the basic rules of this world.

They're known as negators.

Uh

[Andy] Yesterday they saw

our abilities in action.

But theirs are unknown.

We don't stand a chance.

All we can do for now is run.

Once 50 years ago

those negators caught me,

and when they did

they really did a number on me.

- 50?

- Spent the next decade

in a lab. Poked and prodded my body

- to hell and back.

- What the how old are you?

It makes me wonder what they'd do to you

if you got caught.

There's no tellin' how many people

would die just to confirm the rules

- of your unluck.

- [whimpers]

Maybe they'd cut your fingers off just

to see if they still work when detached.

[Fuko] No way!

We gotta get outta here!

- Right now!

- [laughs]

- Look at you, getting all terrified!

- Hurry up!

ROAD CLOSED - EXIT HERE

ROAD CLOSURE DUE TO

BUILDING DEMOLITION BY IMPLOSION

[engine revving]

It's time to kick off our road trip!

If we're caught, we're done!

There's no lookin' back!

[whimpering]

♪♪

[singing in Japanese]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[engine revving]

But where are we going?

- Do you have somewhere in mind?

- What?

Heck no! We're on the run!

- We'll just keep on runnin'.

- Huh?

That sounds like it's only a matter

of time till we're caught!

And I'm already a huge liability to you.

If you get captured again

like yesterday, then

Calm your little head.

Till you fall for me and give me

the biggest stroke

of unluck you've got,

ain't no way I'm lettin' you die.

Fall for you?

You you still haven't given up

on all that?

I appreciate your protection,

but there's no way I'd fall for you!

Nah, you will.

After all, you're a big pushover.

I I am not a pushover!

And quit rubbing my head. [groans]

That's another thing

I don't like about you!

- Huh?

- [glass cracking]

- Here they come.

- Huh?

What is that?

It marks the spot where they warp in.

50 years ago when

these guys came and nabbed me,

I saw the same thing.

[booming]

- Now hit the deck!

- [whimpers]

It's headed for us!

Yeah.

It's the Union!

[booming]

[gasping]

What in the

Andy, are you okay?

What?

- [grunts]

- You're something, aren't ya?

Still rushing in to help, huh?

Is it 'cause you like him?

[Fuko] Who is this guy? An enemy?

My legs! They won't move!

- [scoffs] I've nabbed this one.

- [Void] Then k*ll her.

We capture Undead and dispose

of Unluck, remember?

[Shen] Oh, what's the hurry?

I wanna chat her up a bit!

How old are ya? Interests?

What's your ideal type?

[Fuko] Who is this goofball?

Flirtatious fool.

- Oh, nifty trick.

- Yeah, go get him, Andy!

Now you're all

[grunts] Mine.

No way! Why'd he suddenly stop mov

[gasps, grunts]

Sorry, but that wasn't me.

[snarling]

No, for real. I swear it wasn't.

[Andy] My body won't budge.

Specifically, my arms, legs, and torso.

[grunts]

[both grunting]

Andy!

[mechanical parts whirring]

[Andy] I can move now.

So the reason my body froze up

back there wasn't because

I numbed my nerves

and ruptured my muscles.

- This dude is

-Andy!

This is your guy!

He's the movement stopper!

He's the reason I can't move right now!

You need to focus your attacks on him!

You know you're movin'

your hands, don't ya?

[groans] I know!

I'm talking about my legs!

Ah, big difference.

Both of these guys are external-targeting

restrainer-type negators.

They seem similar but their ranges

and abilities aren't.

The big guy over here paralyzed my body,

and the mop top brat over there

has your will, I take it.

Though I don't know what exactly

they're negating

- to pull this off.

- [grunting]

Wow.

Guess you learn things living that long,

but simply knowing that info

doesn't mean a thing.

That's why they put us up for the job.

[groans]

[grunts]

Guess I can move after I get hit!

Now I'll just get hit, fix myself,

- and slug ya!

- What an idiot.

[grunting]

[snickers]

[both grunting]

Yikes.

Not bad for someone who's

still able to feel pain, though.

What an outrageous way to fight.

Hey, are we gonna get chased

by people like you forever?

Well, only if you manage

to give us the slip.

[booming]

That meteorite yesterday

didn't do you any favors.

Because of that,

your capture priority levels rose

to eight on a scale of ten.

You were just a five when you

were discovered,

so no matter how many hunters you avoid,

there will always be other

menacing people gunning for you.

Menacing people, huh?

Yep, negators just like you and me.

My condolences.

Like you and me?

Huh? Wait.

If we're the same then why

aren't you guys being hunted?

[mechanical whirring]

[grunts]

[hissing]

Ooh, curious?

Piqued your interest, have we?

- [Void] Hey, Shen!

- [Shen] Lay off.

Where's the harm? She has a right to know.

There are ten.

[Fuko] Ten what?

[Shen] The Anti-Unidentified

Phenomena Control Organization

The Union.

Within the ranks of the Union,

there's a special team made up

of ten negators.

Once in, you're exempt

from pursuit on the condition

that you commit to carrying out

various missions assigned to you.

You need to pass a few tests

to get in, though.

[Fuko] Uh, wait a sec.

So that means if we

become members then they'll

stop chasing us, right?

[Void] Sorry, kid.

All the seats are taken.

[Fuko] C Can't move!

[Void] As long as there are no vacancies,

the roster sees no additions or changes.

Negators who aren't members

are UMAs who throw

the world into chaos. They're monsters!

[laughing]

Oh, I get it now!

Instead of getting hunted,

we just join the hunting party.

Totally sick. Let's do it!

We'll bust up those two asses

to make some space

and then we will be a part of that ten!

Who knows what kinda stuff

they'll have us do once we're in?

But don't worry.

So long as I'm around,

lettin' you die ain't an option.

Neither is handing you over

to anyone else.

[gasps] Mm!

[groaning]

[Void] Hey, they just had direct contact.

Yeah, but only for a sec,

so the unluck won't be all that.

[Fuko] Uh, listen up!

I think a huge stroke of unluck

is headed this way!

But it's not because I'm in love

with you or anything!

- [engine revving]

- I only like you out of gratitude!

- [Void] Hey, retrieve her.

- Okay, I'm going.

- [Void] Doesn't look like it.

- [snickers]

- [Void] Get out there!

- [Shen] Hmm.

- I'm not feeling it.

- [Void] Quit stalling.

- [Shen] But, you know

- [Void] Enough whining.

[Shen] Fine, whatever.

It won't work!

I won't fall in love with you!

So don't get the wrong idea, okay?

[booming]

Welp, there you have it.

Hand over your two seats.

[booming]

[gasping]

[gasps]

[scoffs] Unscathed, huh?

That was close!

[Andy] Now, then

Negators either negate their

own rules or those of others.

When you're fighting against

external-targeting negators,

you gotta figure out exactly

what they're negating as soon

as you possibly can.

When Jumbotron gets in an attack stance,

he negates my movements.

So maybe his power is

Unavoidable.

But I ain't got enough intel on the brat.

He was able to restrain

the Unluck kid without any kind

of specific movement.

Just what does this guy negate?

I better sneak around

and use hit-and-run tactics

till I've got him figured out.

- [chomps]

- [beeping]

Huh?

[beeping continues]

Dynamite?

[rapid beeping]

[booming]

[rubble crashing]

[breathing heavily]

Was all of this my fault, too?

Or just a coincidence?

[Void grunts]

That's a level eight for you.

Just look at this mess.

I'd be dead if it weren't

for that crazy old coot's suit.

Unless you can predict the outcome,

it's not a weapon. It's a calamity.

I'll dispose of her.

[mechanical whirring]

But first I should probably

take care of you, Undead.

Shen, you all right?

I've secured Undead.

That just leaves k*lling Unluck.

Got that?

- [Andy] Can I give you a hand?

- [Void] Huh?

Plenty more where that came from.

You see, when I lose a body part

- It disappears after 30 seconds.

- [Void scoffs]

Or maybe I should say it lasts

for 30 seconds.

Via con dios, Unavoidable.

- [g*nsh*t]

- [Void groans]

I call it "Parts b*llet."

I use my regenerative power

to sh**t my half-torn body parts

like projectiles.

[electric buzzing]

See, you negate your opponent's ability

to avoid every time you get into

an attack stance,

and strictly speaking,

you're only stopping your

target's muscle movements

while it's in effect.

Meaning you can't stop my regeneration.

[thuds]

Ya should have read up more on

your own rules, bud.

[whooshing]

Well, that's one down.

[Shen] What was that weird sound just now?

Hey, Void?

Uh-oh.

- You're next, pretty boy.

- [neck cracking]

Huh? Are you serious?

But your seat's already secured.

Weren't you listening before?

[Andy] You're the one not listening.

I gotta join, too, so we need two seats.

[chuckles] You're a real gentleman, I see.

[Andy] What does this guy negate?

Guess I'll have to die until

I find out just like always.

I'll get that opening in his stance

on the right side of his waist!

Hit him with a right kick!

Huh?

My left leg?

[chuckles, speaking Chinese] Wonderful!

[Fuko breathing heavily]

- [gasps]

- [blows landing]

[laughing]

Wow, you're incredible, Mr. Andy!

Not many have laid a hand on me before!

What I'd give to spar

against you on a regular basis!

Oh, wait. Are you two friends now?

You moron! He's clearly screwin' with me!

[grunts]

Oh, you brought the sword, huh?

Toss it this way!

Are you sure?

- What if you don't catch it?

- Just toss it already!

[Fuko gasps]

[Andy] I may not know exactly

what it is you negate,

but your power's all about opposites.

You purposely tease a gap in your defenses

and then defend the opposite side.

Right goes to left. Up goes down.

- [grunts]

- [Andy] Annoying for sure,

but that's all there is to it, right?

Fine, then, here you go!

[gasps]

[Andy] But

What do you do when you're faced

with an attack you can't parry?

I gotcha now!

[wind blows]

[Shen] Ah, it was only for a split second,

but you hesitated to strike.

You weren't sure.

[grunts]

Even after living 200 years,

you still hesitate when it comes

to k*lling, huh?

Or maybe you didn't want Miss Unlucky

to see you m*rder someone,

though I doubt that you're that soft.

Now then, all that's left

[grunts]

- [Shen chuckles]

- Huh?

[groans]

I won't reveal my rule to you,

but you can't touch me or run away.

My power works on your deep psyche

- so it's no use trying to res

- [Andy] Hey.

- Um.

- Uh?

Why in the hell did you come over here?

SHIVER SHIVER

I I I'm so sorry!

I thought it was gonna work!

Now we're both in this

Union weirdo's line of sight!

I swear I was only trying to help!

You gotta believe me!

Well, which one of you will be joining us?

That's a no-brainer. She is.

You can ship me off to a lab

for all I care.

You can't just decide that on your own!

They ran you ragged

for ten years, didn't they?

Why would you voluntarily

[Andy] You wouldn't last a day

in that kind

of place without losing your mind.

- [Fuko] Maybe, but

- [Andy] No buts!

Hittin' on a chick

that ain't right in the head

is back-breakin' work.

This is fine.

Still going on about that?

What if you never break free?

What if you

No need to worry. [chuckles]

I'll slip out before you die,

even if it kills me.

Even if you become

a wrinkled old hunchback,

I'll win your heart and give you

a night to remember.

[Fuko gasps]

Understand? Now scram.

See ya later.

[speaking Chinese] Understood.

Well, time to go, Miss Unlucky.

Wait a sec! [grunts]

- Look away for ten minutes!

- [Shen] Huh?

I can't! It'll undo the restraint!

I don't care! Just turn away!

We're about to do some

Um

[grunts] Some totally X-rated stuff!

Wait, why?

Whoa, hold up.

I gotta get you to fall head over heels

- in love with me first.

- Oh, shut up!

Because of this body,

I've never experienced even

a hint of romance,

so I don't know if I've fallen

for you or not.

Either way, no matter what

the reason may be,

if there's someone willing

to fight till they're bloody

for my pitiful sake,

I can't just abandon them

without giving up something!

- [grunts]

- [gasps]

[grunts]

We do this here and now!

I have no idea what to do,

but it just might provide you

the unluck you need to die!

I'm sorry I can't do more to repay you.

[laughing]

Now that is some relationship!

Didn't you just meet yesterday?

- [laughing]

- S Stop laughing at me!

Whew, okay, sorry.

The two of you are tons of fun!

Splitting you up would be a big bummer.

[both gasping]

Right, here's what we're gonna do.

Let's have you k*ll another one

of our members!

If you do I'll put in

a good word for you both.

[gasps]

In three days on August 5th

and Lake Baikal,

one member will be investigating a UMA.

k*ll that member and you're golden.

- [buzzing]

- Look for a red necktie

and an emblem.

Of course, there will be people

hunting you along the way.

Here's hoping you both

arrive there in one piece.

Well, those are the terms.

See you in the Round Table room!

[glass shattering in reverse]

Huh?

H He spared us?

Yeah, thanks to that deviant behavior

- of yours.

- Deviant behavior?

I wasn't just [gasps]

I wasn't playing around!

I ain't rotten enough

to bang a chick just 'cause

she's desperate.

Don't pull that crap again.

Yeah.

Won't happen again, sir.

[Andy] Time's a-wastin'.

- Let's hit the road!

- [Fuko] Wait, to Russia?

But I don't have a passport or anything!

[Andy] Don't need one.

Public transportation's too dangerous.

We're gonna take my route.

First we move top speed to Niigata.

Next we hop on my boat

and book it to the Russian port

of Vladivostok.

Then we'll switch over to a jet plane

and head to Irkutsk.

There I'll hire some of my old w*r buds

for combat support.

SHIVER

Then we lie in wait

for our target at the lake and off 'em!

SLICE

Russia. Vodka!

How old are ya?

Uh, I'm 18.

[Andy] You're legal there!

When we're done, it's bottoms up!

[Fuko breathing heavily]

TO BE CONTINUED

Sounds like a bit of fun.

[Kairi Yagi's "know me" playing]

♪♪

[singing in Japanese]

♪♪