- I tried to make
you proud, Daddy.
I tried to make you
proud, and do it right.
- Okay, you've made your point!
Loretta Lynn here ain't
right in the head.
- That ain't
country, Slick.
It's the blues. You
about to have them.
- My people sent
me to negotiate.
That's all I was saying.
Let's talk!
- Ain't you gonna
light my smoke?
- Oh, heavens!
That is one fine Zippo.
May I? Ooh!
- That's sort of a
family heirloom.
- That's an heirloom. My
daddy ran moonshine in it.
But you city boys ain't changed.
Still come around here for
the bad things you need,
and then try to cornhole
us like a bumpkin wh*re
who don't know d*ck from deer!
- It's just business.
- Crazy f*cking bumpkins.
- So, this is Colt Lake?
- Yes! Yes, it is.
You're not from around
here, are you?
- How'd you guess?
You must be a cop.
- Chief of police,
actually. Sandy Stevens.
So, uh, you just
passing through,
or are you planning on
staying and enjoying our lake?
- You get many tourists?
Hard to believe 2,500 people
even want to call
this place home.
- Oh, hold on now.
We might not be Chattanooga,
but we do all right.
So, can I help you
with something?
- Sure.
After the two hour drive, I
gotta take a high holy crap.
- Who are you?
- Margie. Looking good.
How you doing?
Dan the man. Another day,
another dollar, right?
Deb, how are you?
- I'm good.
- Good?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- How are you?
- Finish those college
apps yet? I'm doing great.
- I am working
on those college apps.
- Happy to write you a rec.
- I am okay, Officer Evans.
- Okay.
- But hey, any
word on the m*rder?
- Officially? No word.
Unofficially, I always
come through, right?
- I know you do.
- Yeah.
By the time this is all over,
it might be a story
in the paper.
- Wow.
- A rec from me might mean
a lot, I'm just saying.
- Okay.
- And let's get this
town working.
- Let's do it.
- Gimme one of my sh**ter brews.
- Game time, hit it! Coffee!
- Intense. I know that look.
Look, you got any m*rder
updates, partner?
- Stop with the partner stuff.
I pick you up because
we're friends.
- Oh, come on.
Ever since that body turned up,
my mama had been talking that
postal service exam again.
f*ck the mail. Okay?
I need to show that we
can bag this perp.
- Oh, I can bag him.
I can bag him.
In fact, I got myself
a hot lead last night.
- Sam Evans. Take it to the
hole. Fill me in. I am so ready.
- Can't do it. You know, I
gotta tell Chief Sandy first.
And that's how the chain
of command works.
Man, look at this town.
Brings me worry, you know?
I used to think that a man
could make a future here,
you know?
Find a girl. A right girl.
- Oh, okay. Izzy's been
back a whole week.
- I know.
- Why don't you just
go talk to her already?
- Well, I got a dead
body on my hands.
- Okay. Okay.
- I got a dead body on
my hands, you know?
But I really think if
I can solve this,
this might be the
thing, you know?
You got that right.
Should we pull over and jam
a little bit before we go in?
- Little jam? A little jamboree?
- Let's jam.
- I like it.
- It's outta tune, though.
- Lemme tell you
one thing about this town.
It's a damn fine town.
People in it work hard,
and they love a good deal.
Hell, that's three things.
Lemme give you four.
We respect all ethnic cuisine.
Hell, my late wife came
from the Philippines.
Raised a daughter, my
lovely Isabelle.
- El Rey's is a premier, fast
casual Mexican family eatery.
And you've got some rough spots.
- The place is down.
It's got nothing but upside.
But it's got the stones.
- Oh. Well, what my father
means is that-
- Look, it's Izzy.
- We are right from your-
- Oh, you see Izzy?
- I mean, we're just an
hour away from the city-
- Hey, Izzy!
- Hey.
- Hey!
- DJ? Sam, hey.
- You want?
- Hey.
- Come here.
- Should we come up? You want-
- Come. Oh, come on.
- Want us to come over?
We'll come over there?
- Just come here.
- Yeah, we'll come over there.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Yeah. There you go.
- Look at you two.
I still can't believe
you guys are cops.
- Yep. Six months for
me. Couple years for him.
He's a vet.
- Oh, a vet?
- Oh yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Hey, well, you two
ought to catch up.
You know, lot happening, right?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
So, thought I would've
bumped into you by now.
Where have you been hiding?
- Hiding? Nah, I've just
been busy with a job.
You know, I'm actually
on the huge m*rder case.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
- Look at you go.
- I know, right?
- Yeah.
- So how long are
you in town for?
I heard you're doing real
estate law in Chattanooga.
- Yeah. Yeah.
Well, I had a little break,
so decided to help my dad out.
- Officer.
- Mayor Boone.
Good to see you.
- Sue Lane's been in my ear.
Said she called you
about Georgie Hill jacking off
in his car Monday afternoon,
just pumping his pig.
And you didn't do
a g*dd*mn thing.
- Well, yeah, I did
take that call,
and by the time I got there,
he had finished.
So, yeah, the situation
was neutralized. So, yeah.
All right, well, I better
get back to it.
Good to see you, Izzy.
- You too.
- Mr. Mayor.
- I liked his daddy better.
- Mm.
- She had a big
old personality
on account living
from Tuscaloosa.
- Be the people. Be the people.
- How many cats?
Something like-
- So, this is the set
of undescended testicles
we've been waiting on.
- I'm sorry. Do
I know you, sir?
- If you knew me, I wouldn't
be very good at my job.
If you knew me, I might
already be dead.
- Oh, sh*t.
- Evans, get in here.
Take a seat, please.
- You f*ck her
in the bathroom?
- I didn't f*ck her
in the bathroom.
- Come on, grab a seat.
How about intros?
You wanna start there?
Let's do that.
This is my squad, as you
can see. I'm very proud.
This is our senior officer,
Gary O'Brien.
Resident lady k*ller.
- Yeah. Body count is rising.
Putting that slammer
in them jammers.
- Watch it Gary. Watch
it. Watch it.
Over here, we got Sam
"The sh**ter" Evans.
Our town basketball hero.
Also has a drink named after
him down at the coffee shop.
It's pretty good.
- It's just a normal-a*s
black coffee.
It's not blended or
nothing. It's not cool.
It's not iced. Got
no pumps in it.
- Taste good though.
- What'd you ever do?
- Butt-f*cked a pair
of cousins on my rafting trip.
- Were they your
first cousins?
- No, they weren't my cousins.
They were other cousins.
- Hey, hey, guys!
Hey, hey, hey. Keep it civil.
Keep it civil. Keep it civil!
- All right.
- Sorry.
- Sorry, chief.
- Well, something
about me:
I lead a bible study here,
and I don't care for
that kind of talk,
so it gets me a little fired up.
I apologize. Last but not
least, DJ, our rookie.
- Yes sir.
- Those ear studs
are not uniform reg.
- I mean, god damn it,
none of this sh*t
looks regulation.
You're dressed up
like Steve Irwin.
We're all dressed like
f*cking Ghostbusters
on a camping trip.
- I take that
as a compliment.
- No, his hat's too big.
- Gary.
- Chief, who is this guy,
and what is that that
he's packing?
- This is my American Express.
Never leave home without it.
- Oh, sh*t.
Bang bang, player.
- I'm Sergeant Bobby Gaines
with the Tennessee Special
Narcotics Task Force.
- Whoa. There it is.
Sergeant Bobby is state
police, you guys. All right?
His task force interfaces
with all the elite agencies.
We're talking FBI, DEA,
Homeland Security, CIA,
I don't know.
- TSA?
- Probably. Not to
mention, Bobby's from Nashville.
- Oh, sh*t. Nashville.
- My task force
lends a helping hand
with drug-related crime beyond
the scope of local resources.
Your little bird caught
my boss' eye.
Read the Nashville papers?
- We're working on
that as you speak.
- Press could dig in,
use it against our
proud Senator,
who ran on keeping
small towns safe.
- Oof. You know
what that means?
Democrat in the office.
And that's not happening
on our watch.
- Hell no.
- No, sir.
- Three times.
- We're gonna get along,
Chief.
I brought Jesus with me to Iraq,
and he helped me slay
our enemies.
- Amen.
- Hell yeah.
- Well, thank
you for your service.
- Service? It was my
f*cking pleasure.
- Oowa!
- Shock and awe, baby.
- I was in the reserves myself.
Never got the call though.
Bad knees, you know?
But I was ready. I was ready.
- Amen.
Well, I'm wanted in Knoxville
on a major bust in three days,
so let's get cooking.
- Oh, actually-
- So cool.
- I mean, it's my case.
- Your case?
Dude, you stumbled onto
the g*dd*mn body
while you were on duty
and you barfed.
- He got run over
three times, Gary.
Boy looked like cafeteria
meatloaf.
- It's been two weeks
since the crime.
Why don't you fill me in
on your investigation?
- I'ma give you a
rundown. Let's see here.
Victim's name is Travis
Maker, outta Memphis.
No next of kin.
Yeah. We we still have no
idea what he was doing.
- If I had you by my
side in Baghdad,
we'd all be speaking
f*cking Arabic.
- Salaam alaykum.
- Okay.
- All right.
- Well, you
don't even know
that this has to do with drugs.
- Whoa. Pipe down there, Evans.
- Now, I'm privy to
federal files and databases.
Our Vic was Dixie
Mafia. New guy.
- If you'd let me finish,
I've got a lead.
- Well, now we're talking.
- Okay.
- Giddy up, baby.
Let the big dogs do it.
- Hey, shotgun. I'm just
f*cking with you, Sarge.
I'll give you front seat.
- What, are we going
to Wally Wolf?
No f*cking way am I getting
into that rig.
- We're down a cruiser.
You wanna loan us your rig?
Or you got a tank or something?
- No, just your standard
issue Crown Vic,
and my Cessna back home.
- Is that like one of
them futuristic scooters?
- No, that's a f*cking segue.
Cessna's a personal aircraft.
It's no tank, but...
- I ain't never been
on a plane before.
- Soars above the clouds.
Tower to smart-a*s.
- Tower copies.
- Got any
more questions?
- You know what, Bobby?
I was at Bible study last night,
and chief selected this
great passage from Matthew
about welcoming strangers.
Maybe there's a little
lesson in that for us.
- You know what
my favorite passage is?
- What's that?
- Right up your mama's
a*s, Choir Boy.
- How f*ck is your lead?
- f*ck? Is that good?
- I think it's good. Yeah.
- It's very f*ck.
But I've been asking all
around, using my connections.
- Hey, here we go.
- How do you-
- You gotta get it
right there.
Deep in.
- it keeps falling out.
- You don't want to lose your
g*n. Good morning, Mr. Beale.
Me and the fellas need a word.
You mind if I have a seat?
- My pleasure.
- Sorry. My g*n keeps
coming out.
It a whole thing. I told you-
- Did they not train
you for such things?
- You gotta be careful
with that g*n.
You can't drop your g*n.
- You know, every
time I see you,
I think about old Pudge?
God bless his furry soul.
- He was a great
animal. Great animal.
You could have showed
that thing at Westminster.
- Yes. Yes.
- Yeah. Pudge was the sh*t.
But that gerbil you sold me
didn't last nothing but a week,
and I'm still waiting
on my refund.
- You people and your refunds.
You put an honest man
outta business.
- You people? Come again, pal?
- Who is this guy?
- Who am I? Who
the f*ck is that?
- Oh, that?
That is someone in whose
presence you are unworthy to be.
That is Colt Lake Jake.
He is a local celebrity,
and you will respect him.
- I'm with the state
police task force.
- He's a what?
- Mr. Beale,
come sit down.
- Why?
- Just have a seat.
- State police? F you.
- Mr. Beale.
- Can't get you
guys to come get a cat
out of a tree.
You bring the FBI or
whatever it is in my house.
- We're here to talk
to you about the m*rder.
Now, Lori told me last night
that you might have
seen our victim.
- Oh, I knew it! I
knew it the second I saw y'all.
- Yeah?
- The only time
that woman keeps her mouth shut
is when you don't want her to-
- Hey, sir!
She is a child of God. I'm
not gonna put up with that.
Now, she told me that you were
out drinking and that you-
- A man can't
have a drink?
I lost my job, my self
respect because of Petco.
- I understand that.
- I'm pretty sure
that Petco offers
a free replacement on
any animal who don't last
nothing but a week.
- Listen-
- Get here, you little
furry b*tch.
- We need to know
where and when you saw
that young man, okay?
He lost his life on
our main street.
- Yeah. Well, that's
not my concern.
Kindly leave.
- Mr. Beale, I will
get what I need from you,
but I can't use reason, right?
'Cause aside from being
a prejudiced prick,
you're too trashed to
operate a ham sandwich.
- I don't even think he's that
trashed by local standards.
- What are you doing? That's
my granddaughter's favorite.
- I know. I saw her holding it
in that weird f*cking photo.
- No. That's a disposal!
- I will eviscerate
this f*cking rodent,
and then I'm gonna get
started on Colt Lake Jake,
unless you tell me what
you saw right now!
- He was at the Poison Well,
and the dead boy from the paper,
and he met with Jasper Perkins,
and they left after a minute.
That's all I got. Oh,
man. I got problems.
- I also have fast hands.
You don't tell anybody that
I'm operating in this town.
You've got problems.
You don't want trouble.
- Hey, what the hell?
I got a reputation to uphold.
- He refused to answer
your questions,
so I added a little pressure.
- To my face. I got
sucker punched.
- Looked like a clean
shot to me.
- Yeah?
- You gotta watch out
for those.
I thought I saw a little
market up the block.
I could use a refreshment.
f*cking k*ll you.
- f*ck you, bro.
That little register
b*tch tried to shortchange
an out of towner.
- Oh, they're horrible in there.
I shop at Mr. Wiggle's grocery.
- What's that for?
- For your p*ssy?
- No, thank you.
- Fine little
town you got here.
Cheats, meth heads,
drunks, racists.
- Those last two was
the same guy.
People like Mr. Beale,
they got real flaws.
But we can work with them, not
threaten to k*ll their pets.
- You think your
partner feels that way?
- He's not actually my partner.
He just insisted
on coming along.
- He's your brother in uniform.
And that man's words
cut him deep.
- Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank
you. Thank you, Bobby.
It can be hard to be a Black
man around these parts.
I feel seen, Bobby.
- That's not what I meant.
- I guess I see the
world through different eyes.
I'm a Freemason. Worshipful
master of Hope Lodge 53.
Now, you may question
my methods.
We Masons, we do the
hard work required
to create a brotherhood of men.
- Wow. That is exactly
why I joined the force.
I always wanna be part
of something like that.
- I'll send you a pamphlet.
- I'll read it.
- Well, I'm into that
kind of stuff, you know?
Bridging our differences, and
building a better tomorrow.
- Save it, Walt Disney.
Just gimme the skinny on Jasper
Perkins and the Poison Well
so I can move up in
the food chain.
- Calling all Dipshits.
We've got a 647 at Dunlop Park.
Georgie Hill's got his
dong out again,
doing a little jam session.
- I'm a few blocks
away. I'm on it.
- What? I wasn't
doing nothing.
My phone was in my lap.
I was texting.
- Your phone's the shape
of a tiny p*nis?
Got a d*ck-colored phone, man?
- It's a Nokia! A Blackberry!
- Pervert.
- Come on,
you do it too!
- Stay in here.
- You know,
I got boys who got-
- That deviant and his
d*ck are all yours.
- My students
wanna enjoy the park,
not watch you enjoy
yourself out here.
- Hey, Georgie, this
is the second time.
It is unacceptable.
- Oh, here we go.
- My mama does aerobics
in this park, okay?
You gotta ease up. All
right? You gotta ease up.
- Your mama's got a full figure.
- Stand down, stand
down, stand down.
- Lock him up!
This is crazy. Lock him up!
- Yeah? I can scream too.
Okay, we can all scream,
and then nothing gets done.
- Bullshit.
- Hey!
- Do something, then!
- Tammy, don't kick his car.
- Stop that!
- Kick it one more time.
- What are you gonna do
about her busting on my car?
Threatening me, huh?
It's a Buick.
- What are gonna do about him
jerking off in his Buick, huh?
What, twerp?
- Well, we got no evidence.
We don't have any evidence.
But we know the crime, Georgie.
- We know the crime, Georgie.
- So, just head outta town.
There's an adult bookstore.
Find an old country
road and then-
- You know what, Evans?
Just spit in your hand
and finish him off.
It'll be quicker than this.
- Tammy, that's not helpful.
- What are you
gonna do about it, huh?
You want some?
- Next time I'll
beat you so hard,
you'll have your first period.
f*ck outta here.
Officer Evans, you
saw the suspect
make an aggressive move, right?
- Yeah. Affirmative.
- I'm a new cop in town, folks.
Just trying to pick up
the slack around here.
I got you covered, brother.
You don't worry about a thing.
- Hi. I'm Tammy. I teach at
the local school. It's a dump.
So, we're doing a science
lesson outdoors.
Learning about local species.
- I love to gander
at local wildlife.
- Gander away.
- He got game.
I'll give him that.
- How do you teach that?
I don't like his methods.
- Why don't you
take down my number?
- Yeah. What is it?
- 911.
- Cash money.
50K deposit was delivered
this morning.
Not enough to cover Whiskey
Wayne's bar tab, but it'll do.
- Boy wanted to talk business.
Guess his betters
got the message.
Seeing green, but not the help.
- They want it to work.
They tried that Mexican crap.
Now they're ready
to buy American.
- USA, USA!
- But they're getting antsy.
That fresh pickup has
to be in two days,
and you gotta be there.
- Well, tell them to come on
down. Our town, our rules.
Plenty of room on Main Street
for more dead city boys.
- I'm in a bubble bath.
There's rubber ducky.
Squeak, squeak.
- Let's start tightening
things up around here.
Slowly taper the locals off,
and hope they find Jesus,
'cause they won't find crystal.
- We're keeping
up our end.
But there's still some
hurt feelings
over you paving the street
with that boy.
- Well, like I
said, they got the message.
- Here. Give that to our
friend as a token of my...
Well, make something up, because
I don't give a pygmy f*ck.
- I'm the prettiest girl in-
- Shut up, Wayne.
- So, you got any
idea of what goes on in there?
- Cheap booze and t*tties.
So I've heard. I ain't
never been.
- Well, it's out of the way.
Travis is meeting Jasper here.
They could be running
meth through the place.
- Or not. We grab Jasper,
question him.
Let me do it this time.
- Nah, we pick him up, he
won't talk. I know the type.
Back in my good old vice days,
used to send me undercover
into dead-end strip clubs
like this to bust crack heads.
- Oh, I love to bust some
f*cking heads. Oh yeah.
Strip club too.
- Well, I know
what I gotta do.
And you probably gotta
go sanitize
the local glory holes, Evans.
Drive.
- No, this is still
my investigation.
We run it by the chief.
Do it by the book.
- We don't have the same book.
You can't even spell in my
language. Buckle up, kid.
This is another Bobby
Gaines bust,
and you're just along
for the ride.
I have to pull files on
Jasper and get prepped,
so take me back to
that dump motel.
We'll meet up around
midnight. Drive.
- The Poison Well,
that's a real pit of serpents.
Who else is involved?
- We don't know.
But he insists on going
in there tonight,
and running some half-c*ck
sting.
- Well, he
is the expert.
I mean, he knows what's what.
- Does he? I think we should
get the mayor involved.
He didn't even want the
sheriff eating our lunch
on this case.
- The mayor
is a civilian,
and Bobby specifically
said no civilians.
- I think that we should
call his commanding officer.
Run it up the line, you
know? Get synced up.
I'm telling you, this
guy, he ain't right.
- Well, I did
call his supervisor.
Mr. Ronald Pearson. Great
guy. Lot of fun.
And he said Bobby is fully
authorized statewide.
So that means he's in charge.
- Look, all
Bobby cares about
is getting another
Bobby Gaines bust.
I care about this town. It's
a Sam sh**ter Evans bust!
- Okay.
Listen, son, I understand.
You lost your daddy.
- Yeah.
- Your hometown isn't what
you grew up in, is it?
- No, it's not.
- In comes this big case.
Seems like it's gonna
put everything
back into order for you.
Maybe even get back what
you lost. Yeah?
- Yeah.
And?
- I'm just saying you're
going through a rough patch.
You'll be all right. Hey,
you want a chip?
They're good.
- Nah.
- All right. That's
fine with me. More for me.
Whew.
Try to relax, sh**ter.
- Guy wants to pull rank on me.
No, I pull rank around here.
Evans family built this town.
I'ma protect it just
like you taught me.
Watch this.
- Lieutenant
Ronald Pearson's office.
- Hello, this is Officer
Sam Evans.
- Okay?
- In Colt Lake Police
Department.
- Okay?
- I'm sorry. I thought you
might have heard of me.
I'm working with Bobby
Gaines from your task force.
- I cannot
confirm or deny
the identity of anyone on
the Special Task Force.
- Typical.
Listen, I'm calling because
I'm wanting to open up
the lines of communication
here, both ways.
- It's highly unusual
for local law enforcement
to make this request.
This is a huge breach
of protocol,
and you're calling on an
unsecured personal cell.
Our operatives are on
classified assignments,
and this is quite literally
putting lives in danger.
- Okay, that's fair.
I hear you. Yeah.
- I have to alert
our operative of the call
and file a-
- No, you know what?
Don't. You don't
need to do that.
You don't need to do any
of that. That's okay.
You don't need to file the
535. I know what that is.
And that's not even...
You don't even need to
do that right now.
In fact, what I would say is
just don't tell Bobby, please?
- Anything else?
- Okay. I'm finished.
- There's your man.
- Bobby Gaines.
- Oh, is that a sh**ting star?
- Oh, sh*t!
Okay. Okay, now. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
- That is the second and
last time that I get punched.
- What the f*ck is this?
- Betrayal is what it is.
Your partner decided to
go behind my back.
He called my lieutenant.
Made me look like I lost
control of my operation.
- You did?
- Yes, I called.
- You called?
- I called because
we're the ones
waiting literally in
the dark for a sting
that we know nothing about.
- Because I had to pull
files on Jasper
and get clearance to share it.
Then come up with
a f*cking plan.
- And you did. You came
up with a bad-a*s disguise.
Yeah, you did. Yeah. So
we're a team. We're a team.
Okay? We're a team.
- What the f*ck?
- Sorry.
So, we got a f*ck lead.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
There's room enough
for all of us.
So hey, let's tag team
it. Come on now.
- Let's run a train
on that b*tch.
- Come on.
- Maybe we could take
her out to dinner first.
- Hey, easy rider. Say
I gave you 50 bucks.
Would you wait a minute, and
go tell that fat firecracker
that you overheard
that skinny b*tch
say he violated his woman?
- For 50 bucks, I'll
sell the sh*t outta it.
For 100, I'll do it without
asking any f*cking questions.
- Here's 150. Light the fuse.
God damn. A lot of
talent out there tonight.
- Get your f*cking eyes checked.
- Wait a second. Are
you Jasper Perkins?
- Who the f*ck is asking?
- I am. Roy Jenkins.
I used to go to all the shows.
I watched you ride broncs and
bulls at the Thompson Arena.
- No f*cking sh*t?
You know I won the f*cking
belt buckle that night.
- I know. I was f*cking there.
- You were there?
- Yeah.
You signed my girlfriend's
t*tties. Get outta here!
- No f*cking way!
- Yeah.
- What? I don't even
f*cking remember that.
I was like 14.
- Naughty boy.
- Good on me. sh*t.
- Yeah.
- Oh, f*ck.
I had to hawk off the
belt buckle though.
These f*cking assholes
pushed me out the sport.
You know? It's not gymnastics.
It's the f*cking rodeo, right?
- It's f*cking politics.
- Yeah, it is politics.
- f*cking politics.
- f*ck politics!
- Yeah. But you know what?
You still got a number
one fan right here.
- Yeah. Hell yeah.
- Got a bottle of beer
for me and my boy.
- f*ck yeah.
Come on, make it imported.
Big boy's paying. Come on.
- Hey, Junior.
I heard you was just
in the bathroom
flapping your little old gums
about slamdogging my girl
in the dirt light out back.
Making her yelp like a Sheltie.
- Yeah, see, I
don't actually remember
ever seeing you or your
Missus ever, in my lifetime.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. Listen to this, b*tch.
You listening, f*ck?
He don't remember every
single ride in the saddle.
'Cause you know why?
He's a f*cking cowboy.
And you're a b*tch. You're
gonna suck his d*ck right now.
- You're damn
right, I'm a f*cking cowboy.
Damn f*cking right, I'm
a cowboy, and guess what?
f*ck a saddle. Yeah.
f*ck a saddle. Yeah.
I rode that little puppy
bare back, b*tch-
- Open your mouth.
- Come on!
- Yeah, now you got it, kid!
- Colt Lake PD!
You have the right to shut
the f*ck up and stay down.
That's right.
- That's right. Doing time.
- Get up. Get up!
- Hey, police brutality, man!
- Stay still!
- Oh, sh*t.
- Hey, you see that?
- You're all getting citations!
Citation, citation, citation.
Every one of you. Every one
of you's getting citations!
- Citation! Watch your-
- Sweet dreams.
It's a real cozy floor.
- You even allowed to
keep people overnight
in this f*cking chicken coop?
- Yeah.
- No. Bucket's in the
corner for your convenience.
- f*ck you and your bucket.
- Yeah,
f*ck you, b*tch.
- sh*t in your mouth.
f*ck you. Right?
- I mean, just our f*cking luck.
- Yeah.
- f*cking Shitter Evans and
his Black boy toy comes by.
- Whoa, Shitter. f*ck
you, Shitter!
- Yeah, f*ck
you, Shitter! f*ck yeah.
f*ck that guy.
Thinks he's the f*cking
town mascot or something.
- Hey, you local then?
- Yeah. Afraid so.
I've been stuck in this
p*ssy desert my whole life.
Ain't Florida.
- Heard that.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I'm here
for my friend's
little weekend boys trip, you
know, at his hunting cabin.
They're a bunch of
wild men, though.
Not wild like you, Jasper.
- No, hell no. Doubt it.
- Any who, they
like to party. Party hardy.
- Yeah.
- You know what I mean?
Hey, do you know we could
get a little something
stronger than a brew?
- Yeah. Yeah. I think
I could hook you up.
- f*ck yeah.
- All right.
See you later, player.
Don't forget the green.
Ain't a f*cking prison
that can hold me, huh?
Come on. Hey, I got
some new business, too.
- Hey, get in the truck.
In the bed.
You smell like a
sewer's as*h*le.
- Hey man, I slept
on a cell floor.
This truck looks good
enough to f*ck, man.
I could just give it a
little f*ck right here.
Hey, f*ck you, Colt Lake PD!
- This buy and bust
will happen at 1100 hours
in the Mr. Wiggles parking lot.
It's gonna be me and Jasper.
- And me.
I'll provide backup,
and DJ will back me up.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Quiet place.
You know, not a whole
lot going down.
- Not a whole lot going down?
There's all kind of sucking
and f*cking going on
in that parking lot, dog.
- You know,
this is all starting to
sound pretty dangerous.
I'd like to bless this mission
real quick with a prayer.
- Not yet, chief.
I'll let you know when
we need Jesus.
- Copy that.
- You got his apostle
right here.
Bobby Gaines.
- Jesus had more than
one apostle. I'm also here too.
- Apostle's about to
bless that toilet with a dump.
- So, chief, I had
to agree to a large buy
at a premium to get Jasper
to sell the new face.
Okay, so I need 2,500.
- Dollars?
- You know what it takes
to get that from the
state by this afternoon?
Huh? It's a bureaucracy.
I gotta file a 737 report
and expedite it.
How about you, Evans? You wanna
break open your piggy bank?
- Oh, now you need me
that you don't wanna
do paperwork, huh?
I don't. I actually
don't have it.
- Yeah. Figures.
You guys spend all your funds
on toy hoops and dartboards.
What is this? A police station
or a Dave and Buster's?
- Hey.
- I'll handle it. Be ready.
- Vamanos! This is a robbery!
Adios, puta!
- Izzy.
- Hey, Sam.
- Where you headed?
- Oh, we got an inspector
checking out El Rey's location.
- Oh. Walk you over?
- Oh, what a gentleman.
Guess where it's gonna be?
- Where?
- Connie's Cones.
- Lemme stop traffic for you.
Although you could
probably do that yourself
just by walking across here.
- Connie's Cones.
There's no place like
Colt Lake on Friday night
after a game.
Connie would close up late,
and it was free cones
all around.
We were in it together.
- Right. I remember. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, things change.
- Wow.
- Hey, Sam.
I never got to say how
sorry I was, you know?
When I heard about your father.
- That's fine. I'm all over it.
The d*ck, I mean. I'm gonna
figure out who drew that.
That's...
- After the m*rder.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- Mhmm. Okay.
- Had a sting last night,
buy and bust later.
These are police terms.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
- Look at you go, huh?
- Yeah.
- Oh gosh.
- You remember how
folks used to play shows
next to the bridge?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Wait, you guys still do that?
- We do. Well, me
and DJ took over.
- Uh-huh?
- We did.
And at five o'clock tonight.
- Okay. I'm in.
- You're in?
- I'm in. Yeah.
- Really?
- Yeah. I'm in.
- She's in. I'll play
you any song you want.
- Any song?
- Yes. Absolutely.
You pick it.
- Oh.
- Show me. Show me.
- She's like,
"It's good to see you."
- Oh, no, no.
She's no, no. She-
- "It's good to see you."
- I see, I see.
- Yeah. And I was like-
- I see.
- What does that mean?
- Yeah.
- You know? I'm like,
"Okay. I get it."
- But you know what? You've
been telling me this all day.
- I know.
- Can we focus?
'Cause Jasper's late.
- All right. Okay.
- Jerkoffs. Get the f*ck down.
- Press the seat.
- Press the button.
- Deal with f*cking
idiots! f*ck!
- Jasper don't exactly strike
me as the punctual type.
I want to change the set
list, since Izzy's coming.
- Suck your d*ck, huh?
- I'm all set.
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
Now you want my help?
But not when you were
trying to call Bobby's boss
without a word my way, partner?
- You're pissed
about that?
- Yeah. And you didn't notice.
My family thinks I should
be delivering mail.
But you didn't even want me on
this case. You know who did?
Bobby Gaines trusted
me with his life.
But you can't even trust
me with the phone call.
- Back up! I need back up!
- I just got jumped by
a methadone clinic.
Where the f*ck were you?
- We were waiting on Jasper.
Who the f*ck are they?
- Easy. Easy. Who sent
you? Is my cover blown?
- Jasper!
He said you was just a b*tch-a*s
sucker from out of town,
I swear.
- Oh, yeah. that guy.
- He said-
- f*cking cash, huh?
Suck on this, f*ck.
Come on.
- Hey! He's done. He's
done. We got play.
- Where's your
f*cking wallet?
Okay, you can go, you can
tell Jasper sh*t, Patrick,
I will f*cking claim your nuts.
Go.
- Hey.
- Are you with me now? Huh?
- Yeah.
- Are you finally f*cking
with me in this battle?
- Yes! Yes!
- Yes!
- I basically told this girl
I was gonna solve the
m*rder today, yes.
- I'm with you.
- Okay. f*ck the easy way.
- We're gonna raid
Jasper's house.
We find any g*ns or
drugs, we get him to talk.
- Now, we don't have
evidence for a warrant.
- Those junkies just
said he sent them.
- They did say that.
- That's probable cause
out the a*s.
- That's probable cause
out the a*s.
- We got all we need.
- Come on.
Why?
- Shotgun. Great choice.
Can I hold it?
- No.
- Prayer us up, Chief.
- Yes! Ready, boys. Dig in.
- Dinner time.
- "Police" goes
in the front. Front.
Yeah, you look great, sh**ter.
- Project Runway
this sh*t. Careful.
- This like Bad
Boys right here.
I'd be like Will Smith. You'd
be like Martin Lawrence.
- Oh, you want it?
- Gimme the f*cking g*n.
- You want it?
- f*ck yeah, w*r paint.
- All right.
Come on, DJ.
I think we ought to talk
to the big chief.
You know what I mean? Bring
it in. Bring it in. Huddle up.
Lord, thank you for sending us
your messenger, Bobby Gaines.
- Hell, y'all hard
as hell, right there.
- Put those back
in the holster, please.
- No, I got you on that one.
- I love the way it smells.
Bless this raid. Bless the
Colt Lake police department.
- sh*t.
- Looking good. You working out?
Bless our g*ns and our b*ll*ts!
- Yeah.
- Yeah!
- That's what's up.
- Lord, raise us up
on eagles' wings.
- Eagles.
- Hell yeah.
- I believe we can fly.
- Yeah.
- I believe we can touch
the f*cking sky.
- Touch the f*cking sky.
- Amen.
- Amen!
- Yeah!
- We're coming for you, Jasper.
- Hell yeah.
- Going to a raid,
going to a raid.
- Ah, just nervous
energy, Bobby.
- Going to a raid. Here we go.
- You having
trouble breathing?
- No, I'm okay.
- I think I put my
vest on too tight.
- You got meth? What do
you have? You got meth?
Oh, good night. Good
night, you're dead.
- Confession time,
Bobby. This is my first raid.
- Don't be a p*ssy
out there today.
- Huh?
- Stop f*cking around,
guys. Be serious.
- You seriously
gonna get shot.
- Chief, I want you out
here covering us.
Gary, you hang back with
the chief. Boys are with me.
g*ns hot.
Anyone else as hard as a
f*cking rock right now?
- Should I be?
- This is it, boys.
No idea what's on the
other side of that door.
DJ, you want first through? Huh?
You hungry for some danger?
You wanna eat?
- I had some pork rinds.
I'm a little...
Maybe I back you up.
- I got it.
- Okay.
- Keep going.
- I'm going in.
- Here we go. Here we
go. What I'm talking about.
- Oh, my f*cking
shoulder. f*ck!
- Hit it harder.
There we go.
- Colt Lake PD!
Come out with your hands up!
Show yourself.
- Dude, you're
a cop? f*cking pigs.
- Don't run, Jasper!
- We have the
right to use deadly force!
- DJ, sweep for
g*ns. Get back here!
- You little b*tch!
- Whose f*cking
cat is this?
- Let's f*cking go,
Evans! This isn't a drill.
Jasper, I'm gonna hang
you by your d*ck for this!
- You'll have
to catch me first!
- g*nf*re, Gary, come
on! Tie a knot in it!
- Was f*cking-
- What are you doing?
- Stop. Stop running!
- I can't believe
you're a cop!
- f*ck you! I will
ride you to the f*cking grave.
Stop! Stop running, sh**t...
Man down! f*ck, got
me in the vest!
- You okay?
- Oh, go get him.
- Don't make me sh**t
you, Jasper.
- You're not gonna sh**t me in
the f*cking back, you p*nsy!
- I'll sh**t you in your
g*dd*mn dumb f*cking face!
Please, Daddy, don't let this
guy blast me in the face.
- Stay down!
I got him. I got him!
- Oh, f*ck.
- Woo!
- We searched your home.
I found this next to
your skid mark undies.
That's intent to distribute.
Plus you shot at a cop.
- I want my phone call
and a lawyer,
and a blowjob and a
f*cking Corvette, b*tch.
- All the lawyers
are at lunch. Right, guys?
- I think so.
- I'm not sure if that's
accurate, Bobby.
I'll go check, though.
- I'm part of a task
force with federal oversight,
and I can detain you
forever and ever and ever.
So, tell me about the dead
boy you were seen with
at the Poison Well, and
all your associates.
- Oh yeah. Hey, I got three
real high profile associates.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
It's my d*ck and my two ba*ls.
Shitter Evans got lucky.
You seen my f*cking face?
He hit me with my legal
f*cking p*stol.
I still ain't seen no
f*cking warrant.
I know my f*cking rights.
I know my g*dd*mn rights.
I watch Cops. I've done a 12
hour marathon twice in a week.
And f*ck you, honestly.
Playing dress up at the
f*cking bar to fool me?
Pretend like you're my
f*cking fan. Go f*ck yourself.
I got fans. MySpace,
Facebook. I'm everywhere.
Keep walking.
- Where's he going?
- He's got this
under control.
He's doing some Nashville
sh*t. He's cool.
- Hey, what is that?
Don't take it too far.
- He said you've p*stol
whipped him.
Was that taking it too
far? I know what I'm doing.
- He does.
- Are these are your rights?
- Yeah. Yeah. Those
are my rights.
- See? By the book.
- We done here?
- Yeah.
- Whoa, hey, hey!
Do it again.
- Yeah, I hope you
are hungry for your rights.
Because I'm going in
deep, m*therf*cker.
- Come on!
- Shove this
down your f*cking neck.
Do you want to test me, huh?
- Okay. Okay! I'll
talk. I'll talk.
Boy's name was Travis.
All right?
I was just supposed meet
him, take him to some car
with Shuggy and Dog Downer.
- Shuggy.
- Dog Downer. He lives
way out in the sticks.
He is a f*cking animal.
- Yeah. Dog's the best
cook in Tennessee. Right?
Them Memphis boys
are doing a deal
to start moving their
stuff all over.
They tried to haggle and Travis
was k*lled to make a point.
Right, "Don't with us." Now,
I'm dead too. No Corvette.
Just D-E-D, dead.
- Okay. No.
Don't you worry,
okay? I got you.
I can give you immunity.
Witness protection.
f*cking Florida. You
like Florida? Is it fun?
- Yeah, I do.
- You have fun there?
- Yeah.
- Florida, baby.
- I've always wanted
to go to Miami.
- Yeah, we can't afford
Miami. Fort Lauderdale?
- Orlando?
- No, no. You gotta gimme
something I can use.
What's the location
of Dog's lab?
- I don't know that.
He's paranoid, man.
I did hear that they
made a deposit.
Pick up the first shipment
in the next few days.
It's big.
- Big's good.
- Yeah. Like 100 grand.
So, when am I going to Florida?
- Oh, no, no, no.
You're gonna stay here,
and then we're gonna send you in
to find out everything
you can about this pickup.
That's the deal.
- f*ck.
- You're mine now.
- f*ck.
- Tell me I done right.
Tearing that place up,
hitting Jasper,
letting them trust us.
- Who the f*ck are you
talking to? Why'd you run off?
- I was thinking.
Were you lying to Jasper
about that deal?
Is he gonna get himself
hurt, or worse?
- No, but I also
can't make any promises.
You were brave today.
But I need to know that
you're fully on board here.
- I'll do whatever it
takes to protect my town.
- What is it
with you and this town?
It's just another broken
down place.
- My daddy milled these
floorboards.
Evans family wood in
all these buildings.
Our business goes
back generations.
I was supposed to take
over, but it went bust,
like everything else
in this town.
Daddy turned bitter and
let the cancer creep in.
He's been gone a month.
- Sorry, Evans.
Cancer got my mom.
- Cancer didn't get him.
He got himself.
I know he's looking down
on me, you know?
I want him to think
I'm a good man.
- There are no good men.
Only bad men. And
those they bend.
Don't bend.
- Copy that, Sarge.
We are the Deputies. This
is a special request.
- So, is she the reason
you want to make this bust?
Become the town stud again?
- That's some good
detective work.
Yeah. No, she's part
of it. Part of it.
- I see you. I see
you right there, Maggie.
There you go.
- Almost had her
too, senior year,
after I sank this game-winning
shot.
But, you know, she got
away. She got away.
- Not this time. Go get yours.
- All right.
- Woo! There he
is. Sam Evans, huh?
Who's your band called?
The Deputies.
- Well, now, I'm an officer.
Deputies is just a band.
- Okay.
- Mayor, how'd you
like the show?
I know that last song's
your favorite.
- I didn't much care for
it. I prefer the original.
- Oh, f*ck the original, Dad.
- So, Izzy tells
me you're making progress
on the m*rder.
What's this going around
down about a new cop?
- Yeah. Yeah. Come on, Sam.
You gotta tell my dad
about the sting,
and the buy and bust,
all your police stuff.
Come on.
- Yeah.
I just arrested a suspect
tied to the m*rder.
And I'm gonna use him
as an inside man
to bust a statewide
drug operation.
- That's so good.
- Yeah.
- That's so good.
- That's actually happening?
That's not the plot of some
TV program you watched?
- No, not yet, it's not. No.
May I? May I?
May I?
- Okay.
- Arrest me.
You wanna do some drunken
and disorderly conduct?
Come on, baby!
- Sam Evans, huh?
Super cop by day and
country star by night.
- Hey, I'll take it.
- Hmm. You're
sweet. You're a sweet boy.
- I can't. I can't.
- What? What?
- I can't.
- What?
- You're drunk.
- I'm not drunk.
- I am too. I'm drunk.
And I'm an authority figure.
- Okay.
- I am.
- All right, Mr. Officer.
I mean.
- Give me time.
- Yeah.
- Gimme time.
Just gimme time to show
you that this is your home.
- Okay. Yeah. I see what's
happening. I don't know.
Is it like some high
level come on?
Yeah, that's, sorry.
You know, I'm gonna have
to kiss you now.
Just gonna have to
be a little bad.
- Okay. A little bad.
- A little bit more.
- I can get in trouble.
- Oh, f*ck me,
new cop in town.
Uphold my t*tties like the law.
Read me my rights.
- You have the right
to remain silent.
- No!
Wait, is sodomy still
ill*gal in these parts?
- No.
- Oh my gosh.
- f*ck me, TJ Hooker.
- Help! Man
down! Man down!
- How does a suspect get
stolen from a police station
with an armed officer?
No.
- Did you wanna get a
drink or whatever?
Is it safe to drink like,
white wine with this?
Hey, what's up, bro?
- Hey, wow.
For a man who sustained head
trauma, you look great, Gary.
- Well, thanks. I feel great.
You know what I'm saying?
Probably go rafting,
probably get some time off.
Right, Chief? Paid vacation,
little workers' comp type sh*t.
- I doubt it, Gary.
- It's almost like you
barely got hit at all.
Like you were just lying
there, acting.
- Why y'all doing a
stare bear at me?
I told you I was on guard.
You know what I'm saying?
I was working, and I don't know.
Next thing I know,
some sh*t's hitting me
over the head super hard,
and I'm unconscious.
And then f*cking spaz-matazz
over here
is pouring a hot drink
on me, waking me up.
- You guys don't have a security
camera to prove otherwise?
- No.
- I have a theory.
- Oh, word? What's
your theory?
- Take a peek.
- What the heck?
- Stay back.
This man's a traitor.
No one snuck in here like
some hillbilly Houdini.
You let them in.
- He's in on it.
He's in on it.
- f*cking
all right, fine.
It was weed. Okay? I
was smoking weed, dude.
And I left the window
open so I could blaze.
So, smoke wouldn't stay
in here, and I don't know,
some f*cking piece of sh*t
climbed in the window,
hit me over the head.
It f*cking hurt!
Oh, f*ck. f*ck! f*ck you,
man. f*ck all y'all, man.
- sh*t.
- f*ck all y'all.
- Oh, f*ck.
He pissed himself.
He pissed himself.
- I saw.
- I told you
this was w*r.
You say this Dog is
a real animal?
Let's go rattle his cage.
- Hey, we're wolves
now. Woo woo.
- What the hell just-
- I mean, we were
110% sure he did it.
- I can't go with you.
- Yeah.
- I gotta get over the
community center.
You know, we got the eighth
graders coming today.
Civics Day.
- Right? Civics Day.
- Just listen,
be careful
if you're going with them, okay?
- Peekaboo, I see you.
- Surprise, surprise.
- Had a hunch
you were coming.
Hand off your weapon.
- Hey, little Sambob Evans
with his cute chipmunk cheeks.
- My cheeks aren't
that big anymore, Destiny.
- I'm Sergeant Bobby Gaines
for the state Special
Narcotics Task Force.
- I don't much
like the government.
- You gonna point
that g*n, or you gonna use it?
Good little doggie.
Where is Jasper?
Did you steal my prisoner? Huh?
You? Shuggy, or this
nameless psychic here?
- My name's Wayne. Wayne
McGovern III.
- So, you wanna
spill on the m*rder
and this hick meth ring, or?
- Meth ring?
Jasper's had it out
for Doug Downer
ever since he stole his girl.
Like a dog.
- His big old nasty nuts.
- Big old nuts.
And we knew Jasper
might go around
spinning lies about Downer.
So we came here to protect
his property.
- Great f*cking story.
- That's right. f*ck you.
- Woo.
- You came on my
land without invitation,
I could k*ll you legally.
- Nobody here is
gonna sh**t a state cop.
- And if I did, think they'd
send more? This town is dead.
No one cares about a corpse.
- I care about this town.
- Get up. Get up.
Take out your g*n.
Take out your f*cking g*n.
- Oh, come on now.
- You k*lled that Travis boy.
You like to bend people,
don't you?
- He wasn't bent. He was broken.
- You know, I grew up
in Memphis with my stepmom.
She raised me in a dump
best she could.
Rent was always late. The
landlord tried to bend her.
He often did. I sent
him to hell.
So when I send you there,
now you know who'll be
renting you a room.
- Uh-uh. If I see
you again, I'll k*ll you.
- Then someone's gonna
die. See you soon.
- Exciting, huh?
- You're f*cking crazy.
- Am I?
We got what we're after.
I read the man.
He wants us to know
he can do anything.
Same way he k*lled that
boy in Main Street.
I bet his lab's right in town.
- If you're right, we can't
just tear up the town, okay?
Call a council meeting,
ask folks if they've
seen anything suspicious.
- We don't have to.
You and DJ are talking
to those kids today.
Kids see things.
They talk to other little
shits who see more things.
I got an idea.
- Well, what about Jasper?
Didn't you cut him a deal?
- sh*t happens. And sh*t has
definitely happened to Jasper.
They k*lled him.
- Now remember,
I'm still just a new
cop to these brats.
My state badge will give
them the squirts,
so you two have to
take the lead.
But you won't find out anything
unless they feel your authority.
- Hm.
- Authority.
- Authority.
- Hurry up. Stop. You don't
need to. Stop being greedy.
You got juice at
home, don't you?
- Oh, sh*t. It's Izzy
and the mayor.
- Get your hand outta her
hair. I'm sick of this.
- I'm second
guessing the plan.
Sure we won't look silly asking
a bunch of kids for help?
- You're second guessing
yourself.
You're nervous, 'cause
it's the first time
you've seen the honey buns
since you walked off
and you didn't get laid.
- How do you know I
didn't get laid?
- 'Cause you're acting
like a smitten kitten.
So I want you to panther
walk over there.
Assume your dominant
place in the jungle.
- I can call
your daddy too.
- Roar. There you go. Okay.
- Okay. Come on.
- Hey. Put a little lean on it.
- He's walking like he
has to take a sh*t.
- Hey, Sam.
- Hey.
- Good to see you. Oh, gosh.
I figured I'd see you here.
- Yeah.
- And I was actually hoping we
could find some time to talk
- Anytime. I gotta talk to
these junior leaders first.
But you come to watch?
- Well, actually, my dad
asked me to talk to you.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Wow. But we sure had
fun last night.
- Yeah.
- That was great.
- Oh God, Sam, I was
really drunk last night.
- You weren't that drunk.
- Oh.
- I was more drunk
than you were.
- Okay.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Just wanted to say
sorry if I came on
a little too strong here.
- No.
- Yeah.
'Cause I'm just going
through a lot right now.
- Oh, me too.
- Yeah.
- Oh yeah.
I mean, so it's good to know
that we have that in common.
And it's actually perfect
you're here to see me in action.
You know, saving the town.
- Oh, save the town?
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Okay.
- All right.
- All right.
- Here I go.
Great to see you.
- Hey, eighth graders.
What do you say we take a
break from puberty today, huh?
Put the zits and the
unauthorized boners on a shelf,
because I'm kicking off today
with a comprehensive
yet fun lesson
about a man who is a
real life movie Cowboy.
A man who is as handsome
as the day is long.
You guessed it. Chief
Sandy Stevens.
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
You know who I'm talking.
I'm talking about Ronald
Reagan, everyone.
Come on!
Ladies and gentlemen,
Ronald Reagan!
I'm kidding. He died a
long time ago. Woo!
- Attention, attention.
One, two.
Now, as you all know, we
are here to talk civics.
Being good. You know
what is not good?
- Meth-
- Methamphetamines.
Meth. Makes your
teeth all fugly.
Get you geeking and
tweaking. Hey, hey!
- Hey! Listen.
There is nothing that
Colt Lake can't do
when we come together.
- Nothing!
- I proved that.
- He did.
- I led us to a league
title, right here.
- Right here. Whew!
- We need your assistance
in finding a major meth lab
tied to a recent m*rder.
I don't wanna freak anybody out,
but it might be right
here in the heart of town.
Could be an old house,
or a closed building.
- Could be your house.
- Could be anybody's house here.
- That's right.
- Would have lots of trash
in front of it, which
would have to be covered
in chemical refuse.
That would make it smell
like cat piss.
- Yeah. It sounds like
my aunt's house.
- Write that down. Get that kid.
- Okay.
Now I know, I know some
of you might be scared,
but fear not, fret not,
because we have the tools
to protect you.
This right here is my
American Express.
Have you seen Training Day?
- Okay. Okay. Okay.
We're gonna talk to each
and every one of you alone
in a little bit for your
confidentiality.
- But first, actually a
word from Miss Izzy Boone
about higher education.
Because some heroes carry
books, not g*ns.
Come on up, Izzy.
- All right, all right.
- You want a little candy?
- Stop looking at me
like that, weirdo.
- f*ck you. It's my candy.
- My sister thinks
you're weird too.
- Hey, f*ck you.
The reason that we picked you
is 'cause I think
you see things.
I think you know things. You're
smart. Don't he look smart?
So, why don't you tell
us where the meth lab is?
- I already told you.
I don't know sh*t.
- Where's the meth lab?
- I don't even know
what a meth lab is.
- He's good.
- Okay, now, I want
you to think of a number
between one and six months
of federal juvenile hall.
Give me something.
- I'm gonna go
see if Izzy's still here,
just real quick.
- Yeah, get the f*ck outta here.
- You're in the jungle
now, Rodney.
- Can you believe
those f*cking cops?
I mean, bringing up
meth lab sh*t?
What in the actual f*ck?
- Colt Lake, man.
It's just a sad, hard,
dried up turd of a town.
- It's not so bad.
- Are you f*cking
kidding me?
About the only guy worth
f*cking is that new cop.
And I already took a
twirl on that baton twice.
- Oh my God.
- I saw you getting cozy
with Sam Evans last night.
- Yeah. Well, you know?
He's still Sam.
- Hardly.
You know, I'm just gonna
tell you this
because you and I,
we go way back.
But people, they indulge him.
But he's the town
laughing stock.
That station wagon. I mean,
the whole thing's a joke.
- He did say today that
he was gonna save the town.
- Save the town from who?
Himself? Please, God damn.
Good luck with that buddy.
- But you know, Tam,
I think after his father
k*lled himself,
I think he just went a
little crazy, you know?
Just sad puppy crazy.
- Yeah.
- Last night we
were messing around,
and this morning I just
realized, you know,
the stuff that he was
saying, you know,
he thinks I'm gonna stay
in this town forever.
I mean-
- What?
You stay here?
- I know.
- Oh, no, no, no.
Honestly, forget about him.
He ain't sh*t. You know who
does have a big old d*ck though?
Is that new cop. Oowie,
it's good.
- Okay. We're getting somewhere.
You smoke a little weed.
We all do a little bit of zaza.
- Hey, Officer Evans,
did you find anything
out about that meth lab?
- No, I didn't. But thank
you for asking.
- Shitter.
- f*ck you.
- Shitter!
- Hey. Evans. Evans!
f*ck those kids. Are you good?
- "We're a community."
No we're not. It's all bullshit.
Is that why you cashed
in, Daddy?
I've been talking but
it's been real one sided.
Maybe I did go crazy.
I tried to make you
proud, Daddy.
I tried to make you
proud, and do it right.
That just ain't going to
do it in a place this bad.
But I ain't going to give up.
- Whoa. Whoa.
- Put it in park. Put it.
There you go. There you go.
Lights are on.
Did you throw up?
- How's it going? Come with me.
- What's up, Evans?
You disappear for hours
and you asked me
to come meet you here,
and you're f*cking drunk?
- Nope.
Did you get any more information
outta these little f*ck?
Great idea, by the way.
Asking kids for help.
That's not silly at all.
- Yeah, we got a couple leads
on some possible lab locations.
Got DJ running them down.
Police work isn't all
beers and high fives.
- Hey, it's a grind. Life's
a grind, but we don't bend.
Right, Sarge?
- You want there, Sambob?
- I wanna know the location
of Dog's lab,
and I wanna know right
f*cking now.
- You're a gentleman
too. Dog don't cook.
- Okay. You wanna play
it like that?
Found that at Jasper's.
If you don't talk,
we can bust in
and find this in Grandma's
baby grand.
- That woman taught
you music for 10 years.
Here you is, stinking of
whiskey, making vile threats.
Thought you was a good boy.
- Well, I'm not anymore.
I am a bad boy.
Don't you.
- A boy's still a boy.
Dog don't trust me.
All I hear is someone is
cooking in a rusted out camper,
in old Abel's auto yard.
- Hey, you better not
tell him we're coming.
- Nice house.
Man, Dog's b*tch is looney.
Well done. Let's suit up.
Looks like we got ourselves
another raid.
- What the f*ck? Come on.
There could be f*cking sn*pers.
- There could be.
- sh*t. He's right.
- Looks pretty promising.
Don't do the fist bump.
I know you wanted to.
It's not a f*cking fist
bump moment right now.
Okay, you guys stay here.
Stay alert. All right?
I'm gonna go check that
the coast is clear.
All right. Man could get
gunned down out here.
- Yeah.
- I don't know what
happened to you today,
but whatever it is,
we'll get through this,
'cause I got you.
Together, okay? Because
we're partners.
- Partners.
- Okay. Gate's wide open.
- Nice and silent.
- Man, this
is f*cking creepy.
Check it out. Chemical
refuse. Smells like cat piss.
It's a full bingo card, boys.
Got ourselves a meth lab.
- Oh, first through
that door.
- Hey. No, no, no. I'm
first. It's still my bust.
- Cut it out.
- Hey, no, come!
It's my bust.
- Cut it out.
- Let's take it down.
- Eyes open.
- Take it down.
Right there.
- Hey, man, a tripwire!
What the f*ck?
- DJ? DJ? DJ, you're
gonna be okay.
You can't hear me. The
expl*si*n f*cked your ears.
- f*ck!
- The camper!
The camper blew up!
- Yeah, I know. I was there.
- It's in his stomach.
He jumped, he saved my
life. Bobby, do something!
You were in the army, man!
- Let me take a look at it.
- f*cking nasty. Oh!
- I should have
tagged in.
I don't wanna die. I
just wanna go home-
- Step on it, Evans! f*ck!
It's okay, buddy. You're
okay. You're okay.
- He's not okay.
He's not okay.
I'm sorry, DJ. Can't be a
good man. Can't be a bad man.
- Hey.
- What do you want?
Wanna laugh at me now, too?
- What are you
talking about, Sam?
Look, I know you're going
through a lot right now
and everything's just crazy-
- I heard you today.
You and Tammy cutting me up.
My hometown.
I'm just a big joke.
What the f*ck happened?
We trusted you, and
you led us into a trap.
- Hey, back off. You
knew the risk.
- I didn't. I've never
even seen a meth lab!
I didn't know they just blew up.
- They usually don't, but I
might if you keep pushing me.
- Enough!
Chief filled me in, Sarge.
I want a long talk with
your superiors.
You got two kids with badges
running around playing cowboys.
- Well.
- Well what?
I just had the county sheriff
visit your little crime scene.
Let me show you what he found.
Two bodies, both identified.
Sheriff said they were
burnouts from another town.
Hooking up a bit of
crystal in that camper.
- f*ck the sheriff.
We believe this Dog Downer guy
has a large scale drug
operation here.
- It was a rinky dink lab,
with a idiotic trip wire
homemade security system they
left on while they were in it.
- f*ck you. f*ck this.
You got it all wrong.
- Sorry, Bobby.
- There's still more to this.
- You did stop
some bad guys.
- He did.
- I trust you, son.
It's the reason I can
be hard on you.
- Thank you, sir.
- Let me give you
one more thing.
My father passed this on to me.
It's times like these,
we got each other.
Let's go, Chief.
- All right.
- Knock, knock,
playboy. Look who's back.
Get ready for the Gare Bear
stare. What's up, dude?
Sweet f*cking lighter.
You about to blaze up?
Don't leave the window open.
So yeah dude, obviously
I heard about DJ.
I just felt shitty, because
I got split,
and I wasn't there when
it happened and all that.
So like-
- It's not your fault, Gary.
- What's up with your case?
You know what I'm saying?
Did you figure out what's
going on with that m*rder?
That meatloaf dude? Any leads?
- Not really.
- No doubt.
- You wanna go rafting sometime?
- f*ck yeah, dude. I'm
definitely down for rafting.
- Yeah?
- Hell yeah.
You bring the snacks.
I'll bring the p*ssy.
That way we both have
something to eat.
You know what I'm saying?
- Yeah, yeah, definitely.
- Oh, sh*t. Big T. What's
up Tammy? You good?
- f*ck off, Gary. I'm
here to talk to you.
- Sorry, I didn't recognize you
without a d*ck in your mouth.
- Where's Sergeant Bobby, huh?
- Why, are you anchoring
for his big d*ck?
- You like that?
- I had that one coming.
- Mhmm.
- So, I guess he probably
told you who he ran-
- Yes, yes.
I've been keeping his secret
till he decided to stand
me up tonight.
- Well, we had a tough
one. He's off to Knoxville.
- Knoxville? No, none of
it is real, you idiot! God!
And I knew better!
I knew better.
I guess I just wanted to
believe him, you know?
He said he was gonna take
me to Bermuda on a Cessna.
I even bought one of
those big floppy hats.
- What's not real?
- Did you not look into him
before you let him
run the place?
You didn't type his name
on the internet?
Oh, God.
You really are a bunch
of simple country idiots.
- Called just in time.
Got a SWAT waiting for me
in Knoxville on this bust.
What's up?
- Nice sh**ting star.
- Oh, f*ck.
f*ck's wrong with you?
Ah!
- That's a f*cking police
move. You don't know those.
You don't know sh*t.
You lied to me.
You're not a f*cking state cop.
You're a f*cking security guard.
Yeah. Tammy found this when
you stood her up, Slick.
She figured it all out.
- Evans, relax.
- Shut up. I
don't believe you.
I'm gonna f*cking arrest you.
- You don't have the authority.
- How did that get there?
- Fell outta my pocket.
Mayor Boone gave it to me.
- That belongs to my
f*cking brother.
Tammy. f*cking Tammy.
Okay, you got me.
I am a security guard.
I work at a strip mall
in Nashville.
Oops.
- Oops? Oops? You
f*cking b*stard.
You f*cking mall cop. You
f*cking raw dogged me.
You raw dogged the
sh*t outta me.
- And then some.
We weren't related, but
he was my brother.
- Travis Maker.
That's why there's no
next of kin on record.
- We lost touch.
When he was k*lled, and you
guys didn't do a f*cking thing,
I came for justice.
- Why the f*ck would you make
up this whole task force?
- Lying is the only thing I
know how to do. And I go big.
- Yeah, you went
pretty big with it.
Pretty extra large. Are
you f*cking crazy?
I'm in such deep sh*t.
- We got the shovel
to dig ourselves out.
If the mayor had Travis' Zippo,
then he was in on the m*rder.
You could put it to him.
Finish this f*cking thing.
- This is your Amex. My
d*ck is my Diners Club card.
I'm guessing you weren't Army?
Thank you for your
lack of service.
I'm betting that the mason
thing is probably just-
- Total bullshit.
I stole the ring.
Yeah, they actually seem
like a bunch of circle
jerk weirdos.
- Yeah.
- Had a fake
business card made.
Had some Cuban chick
man the phone.
- I'm so stupid.
- No, come on now.
We had fun while it lasted,
right? I know I did.
Okay.
- How's that? There you go.
- I feel your finger. I feel it.
- Oh, sh*t.
sh*t on my night.
Well, come in. You
got one minute.
- Mayor, can I use
your bathroom?
I got a tummy problem.
- Hell no.
- You want a drink, Sarge?
- I would love one.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- He's got whiskey.
- All right.
- Mayor's got some real nice
whiskey. Looks expensive.
Wonder where he got the
money to buy this.
- Look at
this little guy.
You get a little friend?
- Why don't you have
a drink? You might need it.
Cheers.
- I thought we
had an understanding.
- It turns out Travis
Maker never went anywhere
without this lighter.
His mother gave it to him.
I've been looking for it.
But you had it.
Therefore, you are f*cked.
- Coincidence. My old man
just had the same lighter.
- I will burn this house
down with you f*cking in it!
- What the? Sam?
- Hey, Izzy.
- What the f*ck's going on?
- Listen, your dad is
part of a huge drug conspiracy
that goes all the
way to the top.
- Top of what?
- Yeah.
You're both outta line.
- I have no line.
You try me.
- Hey!
- Talk. Talk, or I'll
let him loose.
- I love my town. Like you.
I found out Shuggy was selling,
so I made an arrangement.
Keep the meth out of town,
and I'd hook them up with
some Dixie Mafia connections
from my trucking days.
I'd get a cut and
reinvest it here.
- f*ck, Dad!
- I had no idea
they'd k*ll anyone.
Shuggy said the lighter was
an apology, that it was his.
- Give us the pickup
that they're doing with Memphis.
- You give me immunity, and
I'll give you that pickup.
- Done.
- Supposed to be
tonight on Dog's property.
You can still make it.
- Copy that, Sarge?
- Copy, Evans. You did good.
- What the f*ck? What
the f*ck? Sam?
- Told you I had fast hands.
- What kind of cop is he?
- I had noble intentions.
When I found out I
could get Travis' k*ller
and the 100K from the pickup,
well, my true nature won.
I gotta be me.
Give it up, kid. Come
after me and I'll k*ll you.
Adios, f*ck.
- God, I hate that guy!
- All right.
Okay.
- Whoa. Hey, whatcha doing?
- Just step back!
- No, no, no.
- Stop.
- sh*t.
What do you wanna do, Sam?
- I want to stop him!
- All right.
Just go and maybe call
a backup or something.
- sh*t.
Wait.
- We all good. Let's
drink, fellas.
Come on, now. Don't be shy.
Get yourself in there.
Get a drink.
You'll like it.
- Evening.
Ditch all your g*ns
very carefully.
Drop that f*cking banjo.
Over here. Now, you got your
land, your woman, a code.
But I got the one thing you
care about the most, right?
- f*ck that. k*ll her. We
got more g*ns than you.
- No, I got more men
than you. Do it.
- I got a feeling
you ain't a cop.
- No.
I'm Travis' brother,
and you Dixie g*ons,
you sent him here to haggle.
- That's what this is all about?
That boy just didn't
have the goods.
- You wanna leave? Then crawl.
- sh*t! God! sh*t!
f*cking leg, you prick!
- Came here
to k*ll you, Dog.
And I came for that money.
So hand it over and
I let her live.
- Hey, slow down.
Brother was just business.
- No. He came for
revenge. And that's fair.
Nobody gets it all. Take
my life, or the money.
Try and take both, and
they'll k*ll you.
So, are you a man or
a little thief?
- Revenge don't spend.
I will see you in hell, Fido.
Come on.
Faster. Faster.
- Thanks for getting them
to lay down their g*ns.
- Oh, what the f*ck is this now?
- You f*cking moron. You
didn't think this through.
- Yeah, well I didn't
have that much time,
but I can bullshit just
as good as you.
I win. Everybody down!
This place is surrounded.
- Nah, I think you're all alone,
with your a*s clenched
tight as a drum.
- f*ck you and yours.
- Ah, pickled b*tch!
- Oh, that didn't work out.
- Evans. f*cking Evans.
- I'm dying!
I haven't left town!
f*cked hard!
- Knock it off, Wayne!
- And my sister.
- Keep running, Daddy.
You've helped me enough.
I'll take it from here.
- Get some! That's sugar sweet!
- You dead yet?
- You're under arrest! Get
down, get down, get down!
- f*ck you, Evans!
- You can't have this
town. It's mine.
And I'm not scared
of you anymore.
- Way to f*cking go, Evans.
- You scared now, boy?
Come on, get up.
- Hey, hey, hey. Hey!
- Hey, Evans. I told
you what would happen.
I'm walking outta here.
You're gonna have to k*ll me.
- Do not test me.
- I've been testing you!
Open your eyes.
You're a good boy. I'm
a bad man. Same as Dog.
You can't stop us.
We bend you. We break you.
I sold out my own brother.
I gave up justice for
this f*cking money.
So, turn around and walk away.
Good for you, Evans.
- That's right.
- sh*t happens. Huh?
- You're under arrest.
- That Sam Evans?
Your face in the paper again.
And it looks like Bobby
cut a deal. Mayor, too.
He'll be away for
a while though.
- I know. I've
been in the middle of it.
- And? Oh wait. No,
no you can't.
'Cause chain of command,
protocol. I get it.
I get it. I'm not a cop no more.
Speaking of chain of command,
my supervisor, she's going
to kick it real soon.
- Oh yeah?
- Which means
I'm gonna be running
the whole postal thing.
Me.
- But you'll always
be my partner.
- Aw, it's all good.
Hey, you want a copy
for free, on me?
- Hey. Wanna grab a brush?
- It looks like you
got it covered.
- Gosh.
- Actually had me thinking.
Today's the day. I'm
gonna go see him.
- Sure about that?
- Yeah, sure as I am
about this place.
It looks better than I remember.
- Yeah. We can
make a go of it. Right?
- If you want to take some
of those job interviews
in Knoxville.
- Why don't you just
convince me to stay?
- I'm trying.
- Well, I guess maybe
you're just gonna
have to try a little harder.
I mean, why don't you
just like, sing me a song?
Yeah. That worked before.
- I've been thinking about
a lot. All that happened.
I mean, you-
- I know.
I know exactly what
you're gonna say.
We did it. We f*cking did it.
- Evans, squad meeting.
- Copy that, Chief
Sandy. Ten four.
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Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?
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Bad Man (2025)
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