Congratulations, Jake!
You are our winner!
You said if I win,
I could go home.
It's time...
for the final round!
Pick a box. Pull the string.
Win a prize.
And then I get to go?
If you pull
the right string.
What if I pull the wrong string?
Well, everyone's a winner.
Pull a string!
I'll do anything,
please, please.
Pull it!
Pull it.
Looks like
you won a shotgun.
Courtesy of our friends
down at the shotgun factory.
Not just any old g*n,
a Shotgun-brand shotgun.
Please, you said I can live.
You promised.
Well, people say
a lot of things.
Thanks for playing, Jake,
and we'll see you next time.
No, no.
Please, please.
Please, please, help me!
Please, help me!
Are you ready
Are you ready for it?
If you wonder
What I'm saying
Don't you keep me waiting
Like la, la, la
Woo-hoo! If you wanna...
Wow! This place
is legit amazing!
Yup, whoever said
money can't buy happiness
clearly couldn't afford
a 4,000-square-foot
summer house.
Your rich uncle k*lled himself.
Yeah, but he wasn't
like rich-rich,
his wife tanked his investments,
that's why he went...
-What?
-The trust fund baby and I
will get the bags,
we'll meet you inside.
Matthew.
Always the gentleman.
Wait, no! Equal rights.
Or am I forgetting something?
Yup, you seem to get it
pretty clear.
Carry my sh*t.
I'm not one
of your ugly-a*s rescue dogs.
You wish you were!
She treats those pit bulls
like royalty.
Maybe you could give me
a belly rub.
Ew.
You're disgusting.
Hey, man.
You do know that nice guys
finish last, right?
And where
do the dropouts finish?
Oh, that's right.
They end up working for daddy.
Hey!
Hey! I got my diploma!
- Oh, yeah?
- No, Matthew!
- I-- I actually really
f*cking hate--
- Yeah.
Why do you keep
bringing up...
If you wonder
What I'm saying
Don't you keep me waiting
Like la, la, la
Da, da, du, du, du
Hey, here we go again
Falling from the sky
We got money in our hands, ha
Hey, do that dirty dance
We just live that life
You ain't seen nothing yet
Oh my God, make it stop.
Ain't seen nothing yet
Happy birthday to Anita
Happy birthday to you
Ain't seen nothing yet
Ain't seen nothing yet
Hey, ain't seen nothing yet
Ey, ey
Ain't seen nothing yet
Hey, ain't seen nothing yet
Ey, ey
Ain't seen nothing yet
It would be
a great birthday present.
Please, give it--
Give it to me.
Anita.
Truth or dare?
No, I don't trust you.
-If you're scared,
just say truth.
-Dare.
I dare you to hook up
with Anita.
No.
What? It's hot.
I'm not objectifying this
all for you.
Come on.
Just be a good girl.
Don't I
get a say in this?
It's my dad's
f*cking summer house.
For real?
It's nothing
we didn't do
in parties at college.
Are you sure?
I've done worse.
Okay.
My turn.
Or what?
If I don't kiss you too,
you'll kick me out?
What the f*ck? I was bluffing,
I didn't force you to do
anything, did I?
You know, one day you're gonna
say that sh*t
to the wrong person
and you're gonna get cancelled.
f*cking uncancellable, baby.
What was that?
I don't know, probably a bear.
-A huge one.
-It was nothing.
-No worries.
-You know, men k*ll
more women than bears do.
You know...
he's probably waiting...
the perfect moment...
-to attack!
-Ah!
f*ck!
James...
Maybe we should call the cops.
And say what?
"There's a noise outside"?
Stop being a d*ck to me!
I'm the one that's gonna
go check it out,
so if you think about it,
I'm the f*cking hero!
See you.
Do not f*cking do that!
There are timers,
and if you mess it up,
I'll f*cking k*ll you!
Put it back on.
f*ck!
-Do not do that.
-Aw...
Did you get scared?
-I could've k*lled you.
-Okay. Mm.
What is it?
James.
I don't know.
What?
- More drinking games?
- This was just out there.
And you brought it inside?
-Absolutely.
-No, why?
That's super creepy.
Just sitting out there.
What are you even
gonna do with it?
I don't know, Anita, film sh*t?
Maybe your parents
are swingers.
Yeah, that could be hot.
You want to watch the tape
with me?
Does anything gross you out?
I mean,
I can probably set it up.
No,
I don't think we should play it.
I mean, yeah, I don't have to.
God, I didn't realize we
couldn't have any fun.
You're such a dud, Anita.
Why don't you just go home
and hide with your mommy?
I have a really bad feeling,
and I would rather not do this.
OK.
I was just joking.
You want to have fun?
Yeah, well, not all of us
have summer houses
and parents we can joke about.
You
are being a b*tch.
So why don't we all
just calm down,
sit on the couch and hope
that this tape
is of my parents
having sex.
Smile.
You think because you have all
this nice stuff
you can control us?
None of us actually like you,
James.
We only want to hang out
with you because your parents
are rich.
What did you say?
I said we only hang out with you
because your parents are rich.
None of us like you.
So it makes you happy to have
some creepy thing too?
It is all yours.
as*h*le.
Leave.
I would like you to leave.
Now.
Now.
I'm not, I'm not joking.
I want you to f*cking
leave my f*cking house!
Leave my f*cking house!
- These are my friends!
- Chill.
- My f*cking friends!
- Chill, man.
-We've been drinking--
-You're mom's
gonna die pretty soon!
Don't you think she'll
be bummed out if that sh*t
f*cking happened?
That's the best show.
f*ck you.
Well, f*ck you.
f*ck you!
That was
like super f*cked up, man.
I was just trying
to have a bit of fun.
Dude.
You're seriously on her side?
Matthew?
Boo.
You know that James was right.
My mum probably is gonna die.
You have no idea how hard I
worked her for her surgery.
She's just still...
not getting better.
So I'm sorry if I can't...
come out here and party and act
like everything's OK cause it's
not f*cking OK,
Matthew.
I'm glad you're here tonight.
You're a good person.
You're not selfish.
Hey.
I--
You're like
the best person I know.
Should have just stayed home.
Hello?
Hello?
I have a f*cking knife.
f*ck!
f*ck!
f*ck!
This is getting way too easy.
I am sick of this
f*cking jumpscare bullshit.
Hey.
You deserve a lot worse
after what you said to Anita.
-What about her?
-You really upset her.
This is why you're in here,
to just piss me off?
No, actually, to wash my face.
You have your own bathroom.
I also wanted to finish
our conversation.
So you're here to apologize?
Mhm.
I've been a bad girl.
So what do you want
to do about it?
Hm?
Um.
Mhm.
-Nice.
-I know.
Melissa!
Do not leave me here
with blue ba*ls.
Melissa.
Hello?
Hello?
Hey, wake up.
Anita.
Anita.
Melissa?
I-- I need a one way car.
Melissa?
Melissa.
James!
James, the girls won't wake up!
James!
James!
Who the f*ck are you?
James!
James!
There's someone in the house!
Guys?
Guys?
Guys!
Matthew.
Not you.
-What the f*ck?
-Oh my God.
-Oh, f*ck.
-Guys.
OK.
She sells seashells
by the seashore.
Matthew?
What the f*ck?
What the f*ck's going on?
It's not gonna f*cking work.
Ah! f*ck!
f*ck! f*ck!
Oh, what time is it?
You did.
Mhm.
Hm.
Hey guys.
Excuse me?
Excuse me, I, I think there must
be some kind of mix up.
Sir?
Sir!
You guys ready?
For what?
Alright, then five, four, three.
Two, one.
I'm your host.
Welcome back!
I have sure missed you.
I hope you've missed me too.
Uh, today we are back
with new contestants.
Let's meet them, shall we?
Well, first up,
we've got nerdy man Matt.
Oh,
we've got Melissa the dog lover,
and then we've got James,
in the giant bank account.
And last but not least,
we've got Anita.
Muy bonita.
Let's give them
a big round of applause,
shall we?
How does he know us?
Now.
I know this is
exciting because here you are
on the show.
What a dream.
Let me out
of the f*cking chains.
Now this first round is
gonna be nice and easy.
We're just gonna play
a warm-up round, OK?
Simple.
Rock, paper, scissors, sh**t.
And then you let us go, right?
Hey,
there's always a winner.
All right, you guys ready?
All right, here, here we go.
Yes!
It's so embarrassing.
I'm sorry.
God,
uh, you know what, folks, uh,
we're gonna be
right back after a short,
uh, commercial break.
Uh,
not to worry.
Be back in a jiffy.
Sorry, I'll be right back.
God, I'm so forgetful.
Why is he calling us
contestants?
Who the f*ck was he talking to?
Stupid,
stupid, stupid.
He just got me
with a needle in
the neck.
Think this could be a prank?
For real, think about it.
This is like a set up
for some sort of like elaborate
prank, like a game show.
-There's cameras,
so it's f*cking--
-What kind of prank show
kidnaps the participants
with poisoned needles?
I don't know,
something on TV.
One of you's in on it, right?
Who?
Matty, is it you?
-This is you.
This is so f*cking epic.
-It's not me, man.
- It is you.
-I just said it's not f*cking me!
All right, calm down.
OK, we've got to keep our cool,
think straight,
and we can't start pointing
fingers.
Is it you, Melissa,
you f*cking b*tch?
- This is f*cking good.
- -Shut the f*ck up for a second.
You know you're the only one
out of all of us who can
afford this.
OK, papers, scissors, sh**t,
rock, paper, scissor, sh**t.
OK.
And...
Sorry about that, folks,
had a slight technical
difficulty,
but now it is time
for the first round.
Come on, come on.
Everybody hands in.
It is time for rock,
paper, scissors, sh**t.
You know the rules,
but here,
we all go at the same time.
No, it's more fun that way.
It really is.
OK.
All right, here we go.
Uh, when I say ready and...
Ready.
Rock, paper,
scissors, sh**t.
OK, good, good.
Your paper and your rock
and well, you both are,
um, well, you're both scissors,
so, um,
you know what, ladies first.
You know I want to play.
Gotta be kind.
Got to be polite.
That's,
you know,
that's how we do it.
OK, so now.
Anita, if you can beat me
at rock, paper, scissors, sh**t,
then you get to pick your prize.
Ready and...
Rock, paper, scissors, sh**t!
OK, uh.
I picked sh**t.
So that means you win
because
I cheated and when you cheat,
you lose,
so you get to pick your price,
scissors or sh**t.
Scissors or sh**t?
Scissors or sh**t?
-sh**t.
-Good.
I like sh**t, sh**t's good,
that's good.
That's, you know,
I would've picked sh**t.
OK, good.
Uh, sh**t.
So now everybody hands back in,
back in, always in, always in,
or else.
OK, good, good, good, good.
Paper.
Now you just need to
come in a little bit more,
a little bit more.
Your paper, right,
so you are first.
Hold on.
This is fun.
OK, now, go like this.
-Just a little.
-Are you serious?
Yeah,
just a little piece of paper.
-Nice and wide.
-I don't want to.
Just a little
piece of paper like this, ah.
Ah.
Ah! Ah, little thing.
f*ck!
What the f*ck?
You're, you're a rock.
Dude,
what the f*ck was that?
Matthew! Matthew!
- No, dude, come on.
- Scissors, scissors.
OK, that feels like real metal.
It is.
Hey, hey!
Don't move, don't move.
-Don't move, come right over.
-No, no!
-Stop!
-No, no!
Everyone's a winner!
Everyone's a winner!
Please, please!
Everybody's a winner.
Everybody's a winner.
-Please!
-Rock...
-No, no!
-Paper...
Scissors...
-sh**t!
-Please, please!
I, uh, picked the wrong g*n.
Aren't you lucky?
Ah!
Let's give them a round
of applause, shall we?
How long was I out?
A few hours?
It's hard to tell time in here.
James, can you please stop
f*cking pacing?
Why the f*ck are we in here?
I don't know.
But we need some sort of plan
to get out.
Any ideas?
I know my plan.
No losing games.
Yeah, but someone always loses.
You got off pretty easy
last round.
What?
Getting a concussion?
A concussion?
I lost a f*cking finger!
Let's lay off.
Well, you got something
you want to say?
Well,
I couldn't find you last night.
Isn't that suspicious?
Well, you're walking around
with all of us passed out,
shady as f*ck to me.
Guys, just stop arguing.
I f*cking suspect you too.
I suspect you.
This has got
nothing to do with me!
I trust
none of you!
Guys.
What the f*ck is that?
It...
is...
Wheel of Pain!
Please,
you don't have to do this.
Just go.
Oh, I get it.
You know what, uh, yeah,
totally get it.
Sometimes somebody does
something that's unfair,
right, and selfish and--
Well, because of that,
some other person
does something
like bad
and then someone else
gets hurt like real bad
and like just a lot
and that's just,
well, it's a cycle, right?
It just happens over and over
and over, that makes sense,
right?
I mean, that makes sense,
right?
You sad?
Mm?
I don't want to be here.
I don't want to be here either.
I really don't.
But here sure we are.
OK, I'll tell you what.
I am...
I'm going to give three
of you a chance.
It's a bonus round.
To get out, right?
No pain,
no catch.
All you have to do is confess.
Well, the other three
can just walk
right out that door.
It's a chance that I never got,
but you got it there.
The worst thing
you
ever did
or die.
Starting with James.
Worst thing he ever did.
No f*cking way, man,
I don't wanna play.
The worst thing you ever did.
Or I'll crush your testicles.
Alright, I, I,
I was in a car crash.
I was in a f*cking car crash,
but my dad took the blame,
so it wasn't even like a DUI.
My name wasn't even
f*cking on it,
so it's like it never f*cking
happened, right?
That's no f*cking
big f*cking deal, OK?
That's no big deal,
is it?
-There's more!
-She died.
I f*cking ran a red light
and T-boned her and she
f*cking died.
I left her.
Say her name.
-Say her name!
-You f*cking as*h*le!
You f*cking as*h*le!
-I don't know her name!
-It is your f*cking fault!
-I don't know her name!
-You're f*cking useless!
- You know!
- Ashley!
- Ashley, her name was Ashley.
- Yeah.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait.
Anita.
Worst thing you ever did?
Worst thing you ever did?
Say it.
Come on.
Anita.
It's OK, OK? It's OK.
It's you.
Mm.
To pay for my mom's surgery...
I, um...
I...
Um...
I, I made an adult web page.
Mhm.
Go on, go on, go on.
And I'm sorry that I did it.
But,
but I wish I'd never done it.
You shouldn't, don't be sorry.
Don't be sorry. You know why?
Good guy.
Your turn.
Go.
Go on.
What?
I scam people online.
Yeah.
I watched
what all you guys did online.
I can't hear you.
I got greedy, OK?
I got greedy.
Tricked an old couple into
giving me their identity.
That...
I didn't even get the money.
It was an accident, OK?
Just went into a block chain.
Now you...
I bet you did
something real bad.
Didn't you?
Huh?
-Go ahead.
-I don't want to.
Please?
For me?
Huh?
Tell us.
We all want to hear, right?
Come on.
Tell us.
OK, I, I did
business with
bad people to raise
enough money to
keep the pit bull
rescue shelter open.
f*ck!
OK, there's more to it.
We got a call
about a guy
who had a violent pit bull
with cuts all over it,
and when we went
to check it out,
he had his dogs
for fighting, for dog fighting.
We needed the money,
so when we had dogs we couldn't
get homes for,
we sold them to him.
What the f*ck, Melissa?
They would
have been put down anyway.
There were so many,
he paid a lot for them.
Was there a winner?
Ding, ding, ding!
Just kidding.
Just kidding.
You should see
the look on your face.
Boink.
That was so fun.
OK.
But uh...
Yeah, one of you, uh,
didn't tell the whole truth.
Who, who was it?
Would you let them go anyway?
Not now.
Because now...
It's...
Time...
For...
Wheel of Pain!
Woo!
So.
Eeny, Meeny,
Miney, Moe.
Melissa! Come on down.
Let's play Wheel of Pain.
I'll release the chain and...
That's it. Pull on the chain.
Come on.
Come on, isn't this exciting?
Now this
is the famous Wheel of Pain.
All you have to do...
Is spin it as hard as you can.
Wherever it lands,
that's the game you get to play.
I just spin it?
Yes, you just spin it.
That's right.
Wheel of Pain!
Wherever it lands,
that's the game you get to play.
Whoo, that's great. Good.
What does it mean?
Please step right up here
for the studio audience.
Oh please, right here.
Melissa?
Look through the viewfinder
and hold it. There we go.
Hold it up so that you can
see the photos in there.
Now all you have to do
is correctly identify
the three famous cities
in the photographs and you win.
If you can't,
well, uh, all right, please,
name the first city.
It's a photo of Paris.
Is it Paris?
Ding, very good.
Now,
go ahead and click the lever
to advance to the next photo.
-Uh, New York.
-Is it New York?
Great!
And next.
Uh, this is a famous city.
-I don't know.
-It's famous to someone.
Three, two...
Uh, Philadelphia.
Is it Philadelphia?
Aw!
Oh, I'm sorry, Melissa.
The correct answer was Akron,
Akron, Ohio.
Uh, game over.
You're not gonna like this.
That's not fair!
You have to give her
another chance!
Another chance, man.
Please.
Please, just one more shot.
Please.
One last chance.
And...
click
the lever.
Ah!
Ah! Woo!
Oh, who else wants to play?
Let me help her, man,
please.
Let's try and win you a prize.
You want to spin it?
No!
You're a f*cking psycho!
James!
I'll spin it for you.
You know what, actually,
I really enjoy spinning it.
My favorite part.
Perfect!
My favorite.
Help me, please!
Don't be rude,
you had your turn!
All right, here's the game.
It's the whole game, right?
I gotta unchain you.
I force you to run back
and forth across the room,
you run too fast,
like throw you,
and um, you know,
it's a whole process.
Yeah, I know,
f*cking unchain me, man.
Let's play.
That sounds f*cking awesome.
Here's the thing.
I don't like you
because you talk too much,
so, um, let, let's flip for it.
OK. See if you win or if I win,
OK?
You up for it?
f*ck, whatever,
flip your f*cking coin.
OK, good, good.
Got a coin?
Alright, fine, fine.
We'll use my coin.
Just tired of losing quarters,
you know,
every time I play this game,
I lose a coin.
So all right.
Call it.
That's...
f*ck yeah, f*ck you.
Was really looking forward
to k*lling you with this drill.
All right.
Take that.
-Take it, take it!
-No, no.
-Right there. Alright,
what I want you to do...
-No, no.
Just take it!
Squeeze right there.
That thing goes bzz
to that guy, OK?
Now you put it into his ear
and you push it through
the other side,
- and go, go, go.
- -No, I'm not gonna do it!
Then I will f*cking
drill him myself
and then I'll drill Melissa
and then I'll f*cking drill
James and I'll f*cking bury you
in the g*dd*mn cross.
-Just drill his ear.
-I'd never do this to you.
I'd never hurt you.
I will give you some urgency.
I'll undo your chain.
There you go.
Now, all right,
I'm gonna give you some
urgencies,
all right, and 20.
- 19, 18...
- I can't.
-I can't, I can't do it.
-17, 16.
I can't!
No, I can't!
-I'd never hurt you.
-Ten, nine...
Now! Oh my God, seven.
- Six, five...
- -Are you seriously gonna do this?
Four, three...
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Please, please!
That's my only drill!
I bailed all on this!
Where am I
gonna get another drill?
You broke the rules!
I'm sorry.
OK.
OK.
OK. All right.
You know what we'll do.
For the elimination round.
OK.
OK.
I wonder what time it is.
Why does that matter?
I'm hungry.
I can eat some candy.
I could k*ll pizza.
I just miss food.
You miss food.
I like it.
- You're f*cking insane.
No, I like to eat.
My dad's taking me out
for dinner on Tuesday.
Nice.
I've not seen him
for like a month.
That'll be really nice.
OK, we're back.
Come on, get up, get up.
Anita, come on,
we're back in like three.
Come on!
OK, yeah, that's good.
James, come on.
Here we go, there we go.
And three, two...
Welcome back, folks.
Uh, what a game so far, huh?
You know what,
let's give our contestants
a big round of applause,
shall we?
You know what,
give yourselves a round
of applause.
That's it, James. That's it.
Applaud, applaud.
Applaud, applaud, applaud.
Nice.
You know what?
This next round is gonna be just
a little bit different
and I am so excited.
One question.
Everyone answer,
high score wins.
Now we asked 100 people
to name a body part
that aches.
If you can guess
the body part that they said
aches the most,
you win.
Matthew, body part that aches.
I can tell from recent
experience, head.
What? I'm sorry,
I can't hear you.
Uh, next up is
our favorite pirate, Melissa.
All that pain
in your feisty life,
should be easy for you to
name a body part that aches.
My knees.
I know mine ache
from standing here
listening
to your bullshit games.
You need a body part.
Anita, your answer, please.
Give me a second.
I'm-- I'm flanking.
Tick tock, tick tock.
Time's almost up. Answer.
Stomach, stomach.
-Good answer.
-OK.
Finally.
Let's see,
who should be next?
I don't know,
I can't quite put my...
finger on it.
I know my muscles are gonna ache
when I beat the sh*t out of you.
Oh.
Yeah,
you know what I would have said?
I would have said neck.
You know why?
Cause you all were
a f*cking pain in my neck!
All right, let's find out
who lost, shall we?
Uh,
31 people said,
hey, congratulations, man.
22 said muscles.
Didn't lose.
Oh, and ding ding.
None said
neck.
Neck.
I'm safe.
And ooh,
just under the wire.
Melissa.
Congratulations.
Three said pee.
But
it would appear as though
I am out of cards,
which means no one
said stomach,
I am so
not sorry, Anita.
You lose.
Wait, that didn't equal 100.
So this is kind of embarrassing.
Oh yeah, oh,
I got 23, uh, said stomach.
So
Melissa,
this just isn't working out well
for you today.
Did I ever tell you guys
that this room has
a hydraulic press?
Neat,
check it out.
Now.
OK, it is uh...
They just like let anybody
who lives here now use it.
Thing's like really slow.
No.
No!
No!
Nothing can stop it.
Please,
you don't have to do this!
Yes, I do. OK? It's the game.
It's how you play the game.
You could have k*lled us
already and you haven't.
Everyone is going
to denounce you!
Please!
Oh my God.
Thank you, God.
Damn it.
All right, all right.
Looks like we've got
a bonus round.
I will let you
go.
Yeah,
someone swaps.
Now they will die.
But uh,
you'll get out alive.
You get to leave.
OK?
Let's see.
Matthew?
Well, um...
Will you take Melissa's place?
Please.
I'm sorry.
Anita, look at me.
What about you? Come on,
you're the one that asked
to spare her.
You screamed it.
I heard you, you were...
I love you, Melissa.
I love you so much.
I'm sorry.
James,
switch with your special friend.
Look, you're gonna die in here.
Die now, save her.
I'm sorry, Melissa.
Looks like your good friends
have only so much good in them.
Um, any final words
for the folks at home?
Please no, please!
OK.
No!
You said...
That everyone's got
good in them.
Remember that? You said that.
Yeah,
everyone's got
bad in them too.
Hm.
Everyone's got
bad in them too.
Mhm.
All right,
let's do another one.
f*ck!
James.
James.
James.
It's not gonna f*cking work, OK?
We're all gonna die in here.
Oh f*ck,
I gotta f*cking try something.
I'm not f*cking
ending up like that.
f*ck!
What was that sound?
You f*cking hear that?
I don't know.
Here's another one
of your f*cking games?
It's gonna be okay.
Please, please, please!
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Showtime.
No, no! No!
Please!
Why the f*ck do I feel
like I know that guy?
Huh?
You know,
don't you?
You knew I was lying the whole
time because you stalked
my internet,
and you know
I don't have a porn page.
What's she talking about?
She used to work
on the Barry Miller show,
right before...
f*ck you.
You.
You've,
you've k*lled Melissa.
You f*cking doomed us all.
I f*cking
knew!
You were in on this.
She's not in on anything.
Then what the f*ck happened?
What happened?
Why am I gonna die
because of you?
Uh-huh!
I'm your host, Barry Miller.
Thank you for joining us
tonight on Wheel of Games,
where there's always a winner.
Next up, the Nightly News.
Breaking news.
Talk show host Colin Piper
has been acquitted of all
sexual as*ault charges.
After only one day in court,
the alleged victims
have withdrawn
their testimonies.
Can you f*cking believe this?
That monster
just gets to go free.
I guess they paid everyone off.
That happens all the time.
Do you think maybe it's possible
that he didn't actually do
anything?
Like maybe it went to court
and then they figured out
that he didn't do it.
I know one of the girls
that came forward.
Guess what?
She's driving a luxury SUV.
No joke, I swear to God.
You know that screams
money cover up.
Now these companies
love to get rid of old creeps
to save the channel
from looking bad.
So I heard Barry's a predator.
What?
Whoever reports him,
six-figure payday easy.
You know,
I bet you could afford
that surgery for your mom.
I don't think
it works like that.
Hey, guys.
Stop it.
Stop it. All right, come on.
You know,
he grabbed me once,
and since I don't play
along with that sh*t,
I didn't get promoted.
Shocker.
I'm really sorry
that happened to you,
Rebecca.
It must have been awful.
She's lying.
Am I?
Hey, guys, uh...
Great show so fur, huh?
Yeah, definitely.
I wanted to thank you guys
for doing such a wonderful job
on the show and to let you
know that you know we really
appreciate our amazing crew
because the show would fall
apart without you guys.
Oh, also,
and probably most importantly,
a little birdie told
me something about you.
One, two, three, four.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, Anita
Happy birthday to you
Thank you so much, thank you.
I honestly didn't have any idea
you even knew who I was.
Oh, we all know who you are
because you're doing
a great job.
Happy birthday.
Hey, please stop touching her.
-She doesn't want that.
-I'm--
Stop touching women,
- OK? Stop.
- I...
Look, I, um,
no, I mean, I,
I was just saying thank you.
I'm sorry, you know, for that,
um.
Happy birthday.
Uh, I gotta get back
and start
prepping for the afternoon show.
We'll see you guys out there.
And remember,
everyone's a winner.
All right, see you guys.
See you guys out there,
you as well.
All right, cool.
Anita, are you OK?
What did you just do?
That was scary.
It's not fair.
We don't deserve to be
treated like that by anybody.
Just be brave.
All you have to do is tell
the truth and you'll be fine.
He touched you,
and that is not OK.
Anita Williams.
If you're ready.
Thank you so much
for being here.
I have a daughter your age.
And I think it's very
brave what you're doing.
Thank you.
I just need you to sign
this affidavit and NDA to
compensate you for your trouble.
It also gives you the freedom to
look for employment
and opportunities
somewhere else.
So I just sign?
And then it's over?
Look,
like I told everyone else.
It's safe.
What happens to Barry?
Sign it.
Sorry.
Sorry,
thank you.
Thank you.
Hey, sir.
Sir.
We know what happened.
So look.
I get it.
You want to punish Anita
for what she did.
I'll help you out.
Look,
you're the victim here
and people will be able
to see that.
We're on your side,
right, Matthew?
- Just stop.
- Just shut the f*ck up!
Come on, come on. Look, sir,
she's a f*cking liar.
She f*cked you over
and she made you do this.
You had no other choice.
Yeah, you think so,
huh?
Yes, absolutely.
My dad
would love to help you out.
He'd be all for it.
He really would?
Yes,
sir,
if you let me out
of these chains,
I guarantee
that we'll make things
right for you.
He plays golf
with the f*cking senator
like dude.
Dude, I got you.
Yeah.
You really really mean it?
Huh?
People fix sh*t like this
all the time.
You can really, really, really,
get my whole life back?
Like a f*cking fast.
Like that.
So you can, uh, you can
get my whole life back,
huh, like my show,
my wife, my kids,
my fans, you can...
My whole life?
Yeah.
Let's do it.
-OK.
-OK?
Let me ask you this, um,
do you think he would mind
though, you know,
when I show up, cause I
gotta talk to him about it,
right?
OK, so,
if I show up there,
you think he'll be upset if I
show him your head,
you know, or half your head?
- f*ck.
- Maybe just your jaw.
f*ck!
You f*cking psycho!
Your words.
Eat your f*cking words!
Open your eyes.
-Look, look, look.
-No!
Look! That's it,
that's it.
-Who is it?
-A lawyer,
it's a f*cking lawyer.
Ding, ding!
Eat his f*cking mouth!
Chew his tongue!
Chew his tongue!
Chew his mouth!
Eat your f*cking words!
Chew his f*cking tongue!
Right now eat your words!
Don't make me stab you
in the throat!
You're gonna f*cking k*ll
Matthew the way
you k*lled Melissa.
Bite his tongue!
Bite his f*cking tongue!
Bite his mouth!
Bite his mouth!
That's it, bite it!
Bite it! Chew! Chew!
Chew through his f*cking tongue!
Bite it! Bite it!
Is it f*cking worth it?
Choke on it!
Chew it! Chew it!
Chew it! Eat it! Eat it!
Chew it! f*cking chew it!
Get his mouth!
What the f*ck
are you looking at?
I think you're a little b*tch
that needs to play dress up.
James! f*cking k*ll him!
What the f*ck are you gonna do
now, huh?
- James! k*ll him!
- I just-- wanna say sorry.
When we get back
from break.
It's time for a nomination.
And...
We're back.
Wakey wakey.
Wakey wakey!
Me too.
OK.
Here is the game.
Uh,
it's called Incision Decision.
I gotta tell you this,
this might be my favorite game.
I don't wanna play
your f*cked-up games.
Uh, it's not your turn
to play my f*cked up games,
James.
Ye-- Yes.
Anita's turn.
There are two keys
that open that door.
Now,
anybody that wants to get out,
well, you have to be able
to open that door,
so you have to get a key.
Where do we find the key?
There is one in James
and one in Matthew.
I'll let you choose.
You can't make me do it!
I'm not gonna do it!
OK, well, then,
I guess I'll just show you.
And they'll both die
of starvation in like a week.
This is the game.
You're not gonna k*ll
either of us, OK?
It's gonna be fine,
we can figure something
out where we both live, OK?
You got a weapon now,
OK?
f*ck, I know what's
gonna f*cking happen,
she's gonna f*cking k*ll me
because she f*cking hates me.
Anita,
don't k*ll me.
If you don't k*ll me,
I'll make sure my dad
gives you and your mom
all the money you need.
Seriously,
anything and everything,
-everything, stuff.
-There's another way.
f*ck this!
You guys are literally f*cking friends because of me,
and now you've got a f*cking
scheme to f*cking k*ll me.
This is so f*cking unfair.
I literally did everything
for you guys.
You little sh*t!
You always
were an as*h*le to us,
holding everything
over our heads.
I don't want to die, man!
f*ck, you guys are like
you're my only f*cking friends.
You think I didn't see?
You guys were always making
f*cking fun of me
behind my f*cking back.
I'm not f*cking stupid,
God.
But you are
my only f*cking friend,
Matthew,
my only f*cking friend.
So what do we do now?
You're not gonna k*ll
either of us, right?
No, it's smart, smart.
Look, Matthew, I love you.
I love you.
I do, but you're making
the right choice.
You have to understand,
Matthew, listen to my voice.
Look, we are in here for more,
right?
She's got to see her mom.
And you'd help with that.
I'm not gonna make it hard
for you, OK?
Go on, Anita, Anita, go on.
Matthew.
You got it, you got it.
It's OK.
Can you not look at me,
please?
No, f*ck no.
I'm looking right at you,
right f*cking at you,
please, please.
No.
No, no, no, no!
Anita, stop!
Help, help, help!
What the f*ck?
I'm gonna die, oh my God!
I'm gonna die,
I'm gonna f*cking die!
Do not do this.
I f*cking have to!
It's OK, dude.
Do it.
I f*cking have it! f*ck yeah!
I f*cking have it!
What the f*ck.
What the f*ck!
What the f*ck!
What the f*ck?
What the f*ck?
What the f*ck?
What the f*ck?
Oops, that's the wrong key.
Those doors
are magnetically sealed.
Let's continue with the fun,
shall we?
OK.
Last man standing wins.
Go.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
You wanted to protect your mom.
I'm so sorry.
I might have done
the same thing.
It's all my fault.
What's wrong?
Are you gonna k*ll me?
We both can't leave.
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
There's always a winner.
This whole thing
is part of a sick,
f*cked-up game show
and it's not gonna stop.
It's not gonna stop.
Clock is ticking. This takes
more than two minutes,
I'll just pick.
There's something else
I've always wanted to say.
I love you.
Please don't do this.
Don't do this.
Don't f*cking do this,
don't f*cking do this!
-I really...
-No!
-I really...
-No!
I really do love you.
It's OK.
It's OK.
Just promise me one thing.
Win.
No! No!
Matthew!
Congratulations,
Anita.
You are our winner.
Come on in, darling,
take a seat.
No change.
There's no catch, just
you and me,
one more game,
one last game,
hm?
That said, come on.
Welcome back,
Anita.
You know how it goes, folks.
It is time for...
Pick your Prize.
Ah!
Anita, all you have to do is
pick the right box and
you can be free.
There's no winning prize.
Oh, there's always a winner.
You're just gonna k*ll me.
My pictures are in the cabinet.
Do it. One more fun game
with me, then home,
you can go home with mommy.
Is this really all you are,
Barry?
Barry's dead.
You k*lled him.
I'm your host.
You just don't
seem to get it, do you?
What?
I am the only person
in the world who could
bring Barry back.
I could tell everyone I lied.
I can turn your life
back to normal.
Unless you did do something.
Boo!
Pull a string, alright?
f*cking pull a string,
you f*cking do it,
you do it now!
I'm sorry.
There is no sorry.
No, no.
You didn't just go along.
You knew what you were doing.
You lied.
You know you lied.
You wanted to save
your mom's life,
so you took mine.
You took my life,
you took my family,
you...
You f*cking took everything.
Did you ever even care
what happened to me?
Did you ever even
lose any sleep over it?
Of course I did.
Barry, I'm not
a f*cking monster.
People loving me.
Tell her.
Tell her you love me.
Tell her you love me!
She k*lled me.
You saved her life, Barry.
I, I traded your life for hers.
I saved your mom's life.
Barry saved her life.
Sure he did.
I don't know if I ever
saved a life before.
We can talk about it,
don't we?
I, uh...
Guess I only thought
about what I lost.
I wanted to be the good guy.
I give away money.
To help people like your mom.
I wanted to be
a good dad.
Good husband.
Grandpa.
I wanted...
But you know, I never realized
that maybe here...
my own shameful life...
Maybe it's not too late
for me to do the right thing.
You know what, if you pull
a string for me
and my little game,
I promise,
I actually promise.
I won't k*ll your mom.
Or even hurt her.
I won't even pop by and say hi.
So I don't know, you might
want to think about that,
maybe take me up on this,
and, but--
There's the strings.
You promise?
I do.
Ha...
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to Anita
Happy birthday to you
Ah!
I need to thank you.
You saved me the trouble
to have to add a scar
after I k*ll you.
Right here next to Melissa
and James and Matthew.
Anita.
It's my favorite one.
This is the most f*cking
honest thing you've done.
People like you,
you just lie and you...
You cheat
and you hurt people.
And there's no consequences.
The world needs me.
Do you know why?
Because I know
how to play the game.
I know the rules.
They need me
because I'm their host.
Can you forgive me?
You don't deserve forgiveness.
I don't need your forgiveness!
I need justice.
Oh, we're missing
your birthday party.
Let me just put this on my desk.
Come on.
OK.
No!
No! No!
It's a pretty machine
to slam
the birthday girl's face
into the cake.
There's gonna be
a f*cking knife in it.
You're gonna stab me
in the f*cking face!
-How do you know?
-Cause I'm not f*cking stupid.
Well, if you were smart,
you wouldn't have
destroyed my life.
So...
-Happy birthday.
-No, no, no!
-No! No!
-Yes! Yes!
No, no!
Please, please.
Come on.
Please...
Please, don't do this to me.
Into the cake.
Happy birthday!
I got you.
There's no,
there's no tricks.
There's no tricks,
there's nothing?
So I won?
-I won?
-Congratulations.
Now, there is
some good news
and some bad news.
The good news is...
You're free.
So I get to go home.
Come on.
There you go.
Just clean up right here,
right there.
There you go,
that's it, clean up.
But the bad news is...
The cake tastes terrible.
Oh.
Huh.
Oh...
I can't see.
I can't f*cking see!
I can't, I can't see,
I can't--
I... My...
Help me. What the f*ck?
What the f*ck have you done?
What the f*ck have you done?
What the f*ck?
What the f*ck?
I was acquitted
in a court of law.
I was, I, I am innocent.
I am an innocent man.
Ah, OK, I did it. I did it.
I, I did it. I f*cking did it.
Please, where's... I did it.
I, I, I,
we paid off all those women
who I,
who I assaulted.
-Assaulted?
-r*ped, r*ped,
r*ped, OK? I did it. I did it.
Please, please,
please let me go.
Let me go. I'll pay you.
I'll pay you anything you want.
I'll pay you $250,000.
Please, I beg you, please.
They don't need your money.
They need justice.
This is what you're winning.
Oh no, no.
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