Welcome to our World! Where we serve you cookies to ensure you get the best viewing experience on our site.

Did you know that you can remove censorship board-wide, use our advanced search functions, be notified when new content is posted, join our memberships, set episodes to show in any order you want & more if you are logged into your account?

Register or sign in here: ucp.php?mode=register

Downey Wrote That (2025)

Curious minds want to know... Documentary Movie collection.

Moderators: Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters, Maskath3, GabrielAlejo2341, sidolanters

Watch Docus Amazon   Docus Merchandise

Documentary movie collection.

Downey Wrote That (2025)

Post by bunniefuu »

[jazzy music]



- sh*t, if I was at home,

and I saw this,

I'd be like,

who the f*ck is Jim Downey?

- Why would we do

a documentary on a writer?

- I think it's great

that Lorne has found

another way to make money,

uh, by doing films

about staff members.

- God, it's so hard

to distill the Downer.

- Maybe they won't know

his face,

but everybody knows his work.

- Governor Bush?

- Strategery.

[laughter]

- Mmm, Colon Blow.

Sounds delicious.

- Have you ever made love

on one of the five

existing copies

of the Magna Carta?

- Remember when

you were with the Beatles?

[laughter, applause]

- Sure, sure.

- That was awesome.

[laughter]

- Jim's good work

is just as funny now

as it was when he did it,

whether it was in 1976, 1996.

- Please, Larry!

- And look at how much comedy

has changed since

Jim Downey started

on "Saturday Night Live."

[laughter]

- It's something

I'm not gonna do.

Not gonna do it.

- [whispering]

You're a [bleep] dog.

[laughter]

- There is nobody

who knows Downey that

doesn't put him as number one.

- He was one of the reasons

I wanted to start writing.

- There's nobody else like this.

- Me, Captain.

- No, no.

- Punish me.

- Hi, I'm Norm Macdonald,

and this is the fake news.

- [operatic singing]

- His language lives here,

and without that language,

so much of this place wouldn't

have been established.

- How'd that someone get

attacked by a rabbit?

- That's what we do.

[cheers and applause]

- More than anyone, at least

for that first 20 years,

he became the voice of the show.

I would think

I probably was in the '70s,

but I more and more

began to realize

if something important

had to be said,

that I'd go to Jim on it.

[ethereal music]



[jazzy music]



- One way you could

start this, I thought,

is you hear a voice.

There's nothing

the general public hates more

than looking at

or listening to a writer talk.



This is my first office that

I shared with Bill Murray.

- Jim Downey and I,

we went to work the same week

at "Saturday Night Live."

- This was his first

encounter with, you know,

professional show business.

And because Bill Murray was

coming in as well,

I put them together

in that office.

And it was... it was not

a natural fit at the beginning.

- Like some sort of a bad

roommate movie where

we'd come in and go,

like, oh, you.

There you are, you know.

And he'd be off, like,

writing sketches,

and I'd be like, oh, hi, Jim.

[laughter]

Hi, Bill.

- But it turned into

something wonderful.

- What is your test?

- Do you see that boulder

over there?

I want you to lift it.

- That boulder is too large.

I could lift a smaller one.

- Even though we were slow

to get to know each other,

Jim Downey's the one

that I'd say that

I'm friends with, of all

the people that I work with.

- I mean, we would write

all night.

You know, crash on the couch.

Billy brought in, like,

a little hibachi grill.

He was trying to grill

a little steak or something,

and set off the sprinkler.

[alarm ringing]

And so that put a quick stop

to, you know,

our little Benihana.

[indistinct chatter]

At "Saturday Night Live,"

you come up with an idea,

and it's gonna be on

television five days later.

I mean, it's crazy.

- 10 seconds!

- There's a lot of rewriting

between dress and air.

It kicks you into that kind

of animal adrenaline state

where you either get

something remarkable,

or you fail spectacularly.

You don't get that

anywhere else.

[cheers and applause]

For those of you sitting

through this just in hopes

of learning something about

how you write

a really good sketch,

this is a formula.

And mind you, you're not

to copy this formula.

This is my formula.



- Jim invented

a type of American comedy

of, like, hyper-nuance.

- I have a fondness

for the comedy of someone

very painstakingly, laboriously

explaining something

that doesn't even need

any explanation to begin with

and also getting it wrong.

- I needed to take the bus

but all I had was a $5 bill.

I went to First CityWide,

and they were able to give me

four singles and four quarters.

[laughter]

- "Change Bank" was

a perfect example,

at length discussing something

that doesn't need explaining.

- We will work with the customer

to give that customer the change

that he or she needs.

If you come to us

with a $20 bill,

we can give you two tens.

We can give you four fives.

We can give you

a ten and two fives.

We will work with you.

- "Change Bank" is so specific.

There was an idea,

there was the attitude,

there was performance

and then the absurdity

of how far it was taken.

- We are not gonna give you

change that you don't want.

If you come to us

with a $100 bill,

we're not gonna give you

2,000 nickels.

[laughter]

- A slender premise like that

but under such controlled,

uh, execution...

- Jim gives you no indication

that anything funny is

happening here.

- Like, that was an interesting

thing about Jim's sketches,

is that you had to deliver it

so straight and so on the line.

And not just straight, but in

his rhythm that he wrote it in.

And it would work perfectly.

- Yeah, it's true.

- Thank you.

At Global Century,

we like to be completely

upfront with our clients.

That's why in our prospectus

we clearly state

that our investment advice

is often self-interested

or deceitful

and may work

to a client's disadvantage.

We think you deserve

to know that.

- Jim is deadly serious when

he's presenting you his comedy,

and the people in his comedy

are deadly serious.

- It's like, if you weren't

watching closely,

you wouldn't know

that comedy was on the TV.

- Like a lot of us here,

I followed your broker's advice

and over the last few years,

I've lost 80%

of my life savings.

- That does not surprise me

at all.

- I'd just like to say

that even though I think

you're an evil person,

and even though I came here

intending to k*ll you,

I've been really impressed

with your honesty.

[laughter, applause]

[soft music]

- Writing comedy is either

easy or it's impossible.



Any writer will tell you

most of their good ideas come

when they're doing something

else and they're not trying

to come up with an idea.

We're just going through

our ordinary lives,

experiencing things,

when something hits us.



The really good stuff

just flows.

You can barely write

fast enough.

That's an awful lot better

than sitting at your desk

staring at a blank legal pad.

- Hi, I'm Dale Sturtevant.

I've been raising dogs

since I was six,

and nothing has

brought me more joy

or more sheer frustration

than training a puppy.

With a very young pup,

correcting problem behavior

can be especially maddening.

And like you, I've probably

tried all the tricks...

Screaming myself hoarse,

starving them,

locking them in a closet

for days on end,

or just beating them

without mercy.

But after my third arrest

and court-ordered

anger management counseling,

I learned to channel

my rage into an effective,

nonviolent puppy training tool.

It's called "Dissing Your Dog."

- That just began

with training my dog

and just kind of cranking up

a normal experience

to silly dimensions.

- Oh, right, Margaret,

you wanted prime rib.

Here's the deal,

the Palm wasn't taking

reservations,

and I didn't want to try

Morton's because I understand

they have a new chef,

so for now, let's just go

with the ALPO.

OK, I understand it's not your

first choice,

but keep in mind...

[whispering]

You're a [bleep] dog.

[laughter]

- It's a perfectly-written

piece for Will.

It's an attitude thing

that's taken so seriously.

- When you're writing

a piece for television,

there's a million

different ways I could say,

could you turn out that light?

It's a little bright.

There aren't a million

different ways to tell a joke.

Most of what makes us laugh

is something that's true,

that just... you've never

heard it put that way before.

I'm always looking for

the perfect version

of that joke.

[jazzy music]

- It's not too late.

You could be peppers.

- Oh, this is my sl*ve.

His name is Phil.

[laughter]

- I was in Paris.

Went to the Louvre.

I tell ya, I don't know

what the big deal is.

Just one out-of-focus sculpture

after another.

- No matter how hard you scrub,

no matter how hard you clean,

you just can't rid

your home of sewer rats.



- It was this two-part thing

of nonexistent problem,

ineffective solution.

- A problem that isn't

really a problem.

It sheds light on the way

in which the people talking

about it are the real problem.

[laughs]

- Sleepytime Rat Control.

It's not a poison.

It's not a trap.

It's a powerful sedative

that puts rats to sleep...

Deep sleep.

- I wouldn't say rats are

a nonexistent problem.

But sewer rats in your home

is a nonexistent problem.

- So why live with this...

[boinging]

- I was under the bed,

like, punching the mattress,

and then we slowed it down

and gave it

some boing, boing,

boing, boing, boing

kind of sound effects.

- When you can have this?

[sawing, lullaby playing]

- [quietly] That's more like it.

- The joy is just

watching everybody

in that ad is so committed to,

we've got the solution

to the problem.

And...[laughs]

The rats are surrounding

the bed sleeping peacefully,

but no one ever

removes the rats.

- You'll sleep better

knowing they're sleeping.

- A lot of "SNL" is just

wasting the audience's time

with a nonexistent problem

and an ineffective solution

that made someone like Jim

laugh really hard.

- Mr. President, there is

one other item on the agenda.

It seems we're scheduled

to hear a presentation

from that frontiersman.

What's his name again?

[banging]

- The name is Johnny.

Johnny Canal.

- Johnny Canal

- John Candy had

a sensibility that was

kind of close to Downey's.

They loved these

historical figures

with really stupid ideas.

- What I am proposing,

gentlemen,

is a system of canals

knitting together every corner

of this great land of ours.

- "Johnny Canal"

with John Malkovich is

number one in my Downey book.

And it has the same kind

of pace that I really liked,

and that I was not always

brave enough to pursue.

- Excuse me, Mr. Canal.

Is it your proposal

that every town,

even the tiniest villages,

have literally hundreds

of canals running

in and out of them?

- Or more!

- My favorite part

is the president

taking time to explain

why it's a bad idea.

- Well, your plan is

certainly an intriguing one,

but there are several points

that you haven't touched on.

For example, the proposed

cost of this project,

how long it would take to build,

who would maintain it

once it was built,

would these be toll canals

or free,

how would the rights to the

land be obtained, by...

- And then they do

a push-in on Malkovich

as the president explains,

and it's just pushing in

on Malkovich's face,

and you're reading

that he hasn't thought

through any of the logistics.

That is Downey's humor.

- I've never been great

at writing

plotty kind of things.

I like to establish the premise

as quickly as you can,

then we hope it's gonna be

joke, joke, joke,

joke, joke, joke,

joke, joke, joke.

It's like microwave popcorn,

where at first,

it's a flurry of...

[imitates popping]

But then, pop.

I wanted to generate jokes

that no one

had ever seen before

because they came

out of a unique premise.

You're trying to reach

a critical mass of... of laughs.

- Donde es la biblioteca?

- It's eight jokes

around a theme.

Basically, the only purpose

of the structure and the story

is to get to those jokes.

[ethereal music]



[clicking]

[gentle music]

- I'm so happy

you're doing this, Jim.

It's so exciting!

I want to know more

about young Jim.

Were you quiet, or were you

trying to make people laugh?

- When I was very little,

I understand I was very sweet.

When I was in school,

I was more of, like,

a class wit

than I was a class clown.

My dad loved practical jokes.

I remember he liked

to call his friends and go,

Jim, I'm gonna

hand you the phone

and you say you're

with the health department.

I'd go, what?

What do I have to... what?

- [laughs]

- When I was a junior in high

school, I was in Chicago,

and I saw the "Harvard Lampoon

Life Magazine" parody.

I thought it was

the funniest thing.

It was the first thing

that really spoke to me.

That's what made me want

to particularly go to Harvard.

- I went to Harvard...

[clears throat]

High School,

so I'm almost as smart.

- This would be

one of our issues

that was done

when I was president.

- The "Lampoon" is the oldest

comedy magazine

in the United States.

I mean, most college

humor magazines meet

in a basement somewhere.

The "Lampoon" is this

crazy Flemish castle

that's right near

Harvard Square.

[rock music]

- In 1972, we did a parody

of "Cosmopolitan Magazine."

- That's the famous pinup

of Henry Kissinger.

Burt Reynolds had posed

on a rug like that.

- It would just infuriate

most people to go,

this is what these

Harvard assholes are

doing with their education.

- But you can make stuff

that influences the culture.

- Earlier this month,

Harvard University's

humor magazine,

the "Harvard Lampoon,"

sent movie star John Wayne

a letter.

[jazzy music]

- We challenged John Wayne

to come to Cambridge,

Massachusetts.

At this point, he was

extremely unpopular

on the Harvard campus.

It was like

a three-day phenomenon.

[static droning]

- "Duke," John Wayne, was mobbed

in Cambridge,

Massachusetts, today.

Police and soldiers

had to convoy him

into a Harvard Square theater

to face a roasting.

[cheers and applause]

- We had that place,

absolutely every seat, filled.

- Hi!

- I was one of the speakers.

I have known John Wayne

a very long time.

[laughter]

And...

[laughter]

That was maybe the first

forays into public speaking

where I was trying

to make people laugh.

Biggest thing

I've ever been involved with.

We were on the front page

of every newspaper

on planet Earth.

I concentrated in

Russian studies at Harvard,

but I spent most of my time

at the "Lampoon,"

so I pretty much majored

in the "Harvard Lampoon."

By the time senior year

rolled around,

I just sort of woke up

and realized

I had not given any thought

to what I was gonna do

with the rest of my life.

- Live from New York,

it's Saturday night!

[cheers and applause]

- NBC's Saturday night!

- "Saturday Night Live"

started up

at just the right time.

I sometimes think about that,

wow, how my life has unfolded.

Huge element of chance.

When I was hired at

"Saturday Night Live"

I was 24

and the only writer who wore

a suit to the group photo.

That quickly changed.

1976 to 1980, I'm writing, like,

three or four pieces a week.

- Fred Garvin...

- You're constantly...

- Male prost*tute.

- Throwing stuff out there.

- [grumbles]

- Come on in!

- You're not operating

out of any playbook.

You don't know

what can't be done.

You go, like, how about this?

- You don't suppose he'll make

me squeal like a pig, do you?

- And then the argument is,

why can't we do that?

- Let me show you.

I play with it all the time.

[laughter]

- And then the grown-ups go,

actually,

I guess you can do that.

- What a marvelous

entertainment, Salisbury.

And these chopped steaks

are delicious,

especially with this

exquisite mushroom sauce.

- Well, thank you.

Coming from you, Worcestershire,

that certainly is a compliment.

[laughter]

- The Earl of Sandwich.

- The Earl of Sandwich.

It's a setup.

- Your Lordship.

- You knew with Jim,

there was a turn coming.

There was some moment

where he was going

to reveal to you that

everything up to this point

had been serving a purpose.

- Lord and Lady Douchebag!

[laughter, applause]

[whistling]

- I think we had been holding

on to Lord and Lady Douchebag

for, like, four years.

- Douchebag, how are you?

[laughter]

- You could tell that

the audience was so thrilled...

- Right.

- That we were doing

that kind of material.

- Tell me, Douchebag,

when are you going to show us

that invention of yours?

- Yes, Douchebag,

just what kind of an invention

are you sitting on?

[laughter]

- It was all the stuff

that we wanted to do,

and we saved it for the end.

[ethereal music]

- There's a saying that

we used to use in the '70s,

that if you want to k*ll

somebody talented,

let them do

everything they want.

And that was sort of

what was happening.

We were unprepared

for the level of success

and attention that we got,

so, uh, people were

offered all sorts of things.

People had more money

than they'd ever had,

so it just changes things.

And, uh... and that's sort

of the price of success.

The sun got too hot.

I think people

were proud of what

we'd done in the first five,

and...[chuckles]

Uh, we left.



[static droning, clicks]

- From New York,

home of courteous service

and a relaxing atmosphere,

it's "Late Night

with David Letterman."

- That summer,

my mom called me and said,

are you watching this guy

David Letterman's show?

I said, no.

Oh, my God, Jim, it's...

It's the funniest show.

It's, no offense,

so much funnier than

"Saturday Night Live,"

so much funnier.

- What's, uh... what's next

for you two gentlemen?

- Oh, we'll be down

in the, uh, Caribbean.

We're gonna be seizing

an Aramco, uh, oil tanker.

- OK.

- I just love it.

I just love the whole

sensibility of it.

I love the silliness

and the braininess of it.

He was himself.

He was standing apart.

- Letterman's show was not

only innovative, but it was...

It was original.

But I think Jim was

a big part of that.

- Fall of '81,

and Dave Letterman

contacted me and said,

hey, we're putting together

a writing staff.

- I thought, this is

gonna be fantastic.

Jim will be here

two or three years.

This will be great

for the show, great for me,

and hopefully great for Jim.

- My day became

basically sitting alone

in an office with Dave

for, like, three hours,

trying to sell him on stuff.

He was a genius at

flicking pencils

into the acoustic tiles.

You'd look up, it was just

bristling with pencils.

And I would go, like,

Dave, what about this?

There's a three-alarm fire

in the studio.

He'd go, uh-uh.

Uh-uh. You know?

- Let me introduce you to our

head writer, Mr. Jim Downey.

Jim, come on in.

[applause]

Frank Zappa.

And you know, of course,

Gerard and Bob.

- Hi, Jim.

- Uh, what do we have on tap

tomorrow night, Jim?

- Uh, we sort of thought

you might throw

one of your blue cards at Paul

and put his eye out.

[laughter]

[jazzy music]



- I can remember

in this hallway,

I started talking to Jim,

and he was making me laugh

so hard.

That's when I thought,

oh, my God, I think

this may be

the funniest human I know.

- Sometimes I...

I wear shirts without

really reading what's on them.

[laughter]

- It's crazy.

You know how much time

he must have spent

with David Letterman?

Like, just in a think tank,

combing over politicians,

news of the day.

- Ouch!

- Barry White has

just been bitten

by a northern copperhead.

- I don't want to die, David.

- I think audiences want you

to think of things

that they couldn't think of.

[laughter]

At "Letterman,"

we were conscious of trying

to teach the audience

to appreciate things

they might not have

appreciated before.

- Someone sent this

postcard to us in the mail.

What you have here

is something called

the world's largest vase.

We thought it would be

interesting

if we could find out just

exactly where this vase was.

- I mean, we would do

running jokes that,

the first time, it died.

We said, no, damn it,

this is funny.

I'm sorry, they're wrong.

You didn't laugh the first

time, but here it is again.

- You have

the world's largest vase.

- Uh, that's right.

- Uh, all right.

I'm gonna... I'm gonna ask you

to get a grip

on yourself now, and...

- Deliberately wasting

the audience's time,

I can't think

of that many people

who have had

the vision to follow through

with that besides Jim.

- Well, here... here it is,

the world's largest vase.

- It generated, like,

five or six different pieces

that we did on the show.

There was, like,

a black tie event.

And then we had

the next night where

it was the changing

of the guard.

- We are adding

a 35.5-inch radio transmitting

tower to the vase.

Oh, my God, this is television.

This is on American television.

- I don't even know

if you'd call them sketches.

I don't know what... what you'd

call what we did on that show.

- [laughs]

Oh, my God.

"Children's Letters

to the World's Largest Vase."

This is all you need to know

about Jim Downey, right here.

- That era of "Letterman"

was the most exciting TV

I had ever seen.

It had this confidence

of, like, this is what it is,

and you're watching it,

and you're gonna keep watching,

'cause we got you.

And it's like,

yeah, you f*cking got me.

- Are you still wrestling?

- No, not... not really.

But I am having

a very good time,

though, with myself.

- Uh-huh.

[laughter]

And that period of time was

really beneficial to us

because it then

helped attract, uh,

other really good writers

to our show.

[applause]

- We did do some, I think,

some really good things.

- Now you can blow out

the match.

- You're in town visiting?

- Well, um, next month,

uh, we'll be

appearing in Atlantic City.

- Jim, come on in.

[applause]

This is Frank Zappa,

and you know...

Lorne started something

called "The New Show."

And, uh, everybody fled.

I wish we would have had

more time with Jim.

[clicks, static droning]

- Good evening, and welcome

to "The New Show."

[orchestral music]

[phone rings]

- Hello, Roy's Food Repair.

Yeah, eggs?

Yeah, we fix 'em.

[laughter]

- According to the Fort

Lauderdale Police Department,

are the five most common

causes of injury

suffered by students

on spring break.

- We did "The New Show,"

which was...

[imitates expl*si*n]

That's an example of why

you want to do stuff live,

'cause, um,

that didn't work.

- Hello, it's the Naughty Lady.

- It's her!

It's the Naughty Lady.

- Hot dang!



[projector whirring]

[soft piano music]



- 1984, I was on staff at "SNL"

and Jim Downey returned

to the show.

The prodigal son came home.

One of the high points

of my life

was sharing an office with Jim.

We were right off

the read-through room.

- Oh, give me a break!

Burned to a crisp.

Why do I keep forgetting

to wear an oven mitt?

Ow! Ow!

Ow, ow!

- We never really had

had a head writer, per se.

I tried to help every piece be

the best version of itself.

It sounds corny,

but it's the truth.

- And I do have this memory of

other cast members and writers

lining up outside

on Tuesday night,

sometimes well, well,

well into the night,

to run their sketches past Jim.

- When I first started, people

would wait outside your office

to get time with you.

- Midnight to 3:00 a.m.,

I would camp outside the door.

And you would wait, and you

would wait, and you would wait.

And then around 1:30,

he'd crack it.

- And the door would open,

and I'd go, hey, Jim.

And you'd want to test

the idea on him to see,

should we pursue this?

Or is it just awful?

- He knew how to take

what we wrote and just go,

well, you don't want

to say that.

You want to say this.

- We'd go over Hanz and Franz,

and he'd come up with, like,

three different fixes.

Listen to me now

and believe me later.

You can't count

all the stars, Franz.

It's like trying to count

all your muscles.

- Even if you have

a sketch that's good,

he can always throw his magic

wand on it and make it better.

- What I was trying to create

for the performer was

an attitude to sort of

sink into, you know?

- An overall concept

of a thing being funny

and not just, like, setup,

punchline, setup, punchline.

The Receptionist was

that sort of attitude.

- Hi, I'm here

to see Mr. Clark.

- OK, and you are?

- Kenneth Hornaday.

- Right.

I put that together

and Downey goes,

I like that attitude.

I like what you're doing.

It's not joke-heavy.

So he sort of steered it.

Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh. Hi, there.

Hi.

- Yeah, I'm here

to see d*ck Clark.

- Uh-huh.

And you are?

- Tell him it's Hammer.

- And he would know you

because you...

- Look, it's Hammer.

You know, like Madonna.

- Right, and she is...

[laughter]

- Your mama.

Never mind. Forget it.

- On "SNL," you could be

a genius Saturday night,

and then by Tuesday,

if you didn't have an idea,

you felt like the biggest

failure, if you were a writer.

- The worst part is you go in

and you tell him

your sketch idea, and he goes,

I can't tell you why

that wouldn't work.

I just... I don't think

that it's gonna work.

So you walk out there

at 3:00 a.m. going,

I have to start over.

Read-through's tomorrow.

I go knock on Smigel.

Need help with anything?

Housekeeping.

- You write it yourself,

and you go,

I don't know, is this any good?

And then when you take it

to someone like Jim Downey,

and he says it's really good,

then suddenly you go,

well, if Jim thinks it's good,

it must be good,

so I'm fine.

- It wasn't until I did

the national anthem sketch...

Oh

Say

An ooh ee

By the dawn's

Early light

That he went nuts over,

that made me feel like,

I think I did something here.

- Jim had such respect

from everyone.

He would give you confidence.

- I loved a great impression.

And you bring to that really

good writing to the character,

that's pretty hard to top.

- Yeah, yeah.

- My approval ratings

are down a little bit.

Don't like the direction

they're taking.

This is good here.

That's good.

That's... that's bad.

[laughter]

Worse.

- Dana would duplicate

the character,

and then he would italicize it

and stretch it

and pull it out of shape.

- Notice I didn't say recession.

Well, as an undecided

Latino voter...

Natural disaster.

Not my fault.

And then we had this one phrase,

which I remember specifically.

You wrote it.

On the paper it was,

not going to do it.

And that became...

- And it became, nah-gah-dah.

- On the cue card.

Not gonna do it.

Not gonna do it.

Ah-gah-bah.

Once the audience went

with that, we had them.

We're not gonna lose

Not gonna do it

Not gah, not gah

Not gonna do it

[jazzy music]

- You, watching this at home,

worship me!

I command you,

become my willing thralls

and live eternally!

- That much oat bran...

- What the hell do you think

you're doing?



- You tell somebody a joke,

most people will make it worse,

but there's 10% who will

bring it back to you better.

And so that's why we introduced

the Thursday rewrites,

to have everyone there

offer up quick suggestions.

We never had rewrites in the

first five years of the show.

I added them when

you joined the show...

- When I joined the show.

It was like,

this guy's gonna need...

- He's gonna want...

- A little bit of tweaking.

- What happens at read-through

stays at read-through.

You're free

to, like, take a shot,

and it was important

because it meant people

were willing to take chances.

You always had that

first wave of relief

of, like, oh, OK,

we came up with something.

It was written up.

But the fear of death

at the table

is really significant.

- Where is Canteen Boy?

- [chuckles]

He's right over there.

[laughter]

- Downey looked out for me

my whole time at the show.

My stuff didn't do that great

at read-through,

and Jim always kind of said,

I don't know, just...

That one, give... let Adam just

give it a shot at that.

- Let's go, scouts.

- He mentioned Alec Baldwin

being a scout leader

and him wanting to be alone

with the Canteen Boy.

- I wanted to talk to you

about something.

I see you take a lot of

ribbing from the other scouts.

- Goes with the territory,

Mr. Armstrong.

Sticks and stones.

[chuckles]

- [laughs]

Atta boy.

[laughter, groaning]

- Jim gave me that one.

That was a monster.

That was, like, one of my

biggest things that I ever had.

- Took on another level

with Downey,

where it's like the performance

is part of the concept.

- It should be noted,

when you have one line

in a Jim Downey sketch,

you are going to have

a long conversation

about exactly how he'd

like you to say that line.

- It was word for word.

Like, he would take you

through sentence by sentence.

And that's not an exaggeration.

- Blueprints that

you want to build the house

exactly to those plans.

- Sometimes between

dress and air,

where you're like,

oh, my God, Jim,

we're gonna run out of time.

How are we going to go over this

beat by beat by beat?

- But he also had such love

for a cast

that could bring performance

to his work.

- The other cast members would

be slightly pissed at you.

Like, how the f*ck did you

get Downey on your side?

- I think, uh, the initials, uh,

JD on a sketch, that, I think,

helped improve its odds.

- He's picking the sketches,

so if he's on your team,

it's great.

- Now, this is Lorne's office,

largely unchanged.

The board has every sketch

indicated by

a little three-by-five card.

I'd be in here with Lorne.

There'd be a lot of... of people

coming up to the board.

Like, writers going, like,

uh, are you f*cking kidding me?

We're doing "Elevator Ride"?

Jesus.

[jazzy music]

We take what we do

very seriously,

but it is a lot easier when

you're having a good time.

- Oh!

- Nice one!

- Oh!

- Oh, yeah!

- Whoo!

- Oh, my God!

- Bob Odenkirk was

writing at the show.

We were sent these soft vinyl...

Like a baseball.

We're sitting there in rewrites,

and Bob is, like,

undoing the stitching.

It took him all day and he

finally unraveled the thing.

It was very quickly

discovered that if you threw

this sh*t really hard

at the wall, it would stick.

And so Jack Handey and

Odenkirk invented this game.

- Oh!

- The idea was to hit

the goo with the dart.

- No, no, no. God, no.

Jesus, Conan.

- I'm sorry, I'm thinking

of old goo rules.

- Yes, old goo.

You throw the darts in a pattern

to deflect the goo...

- Ah.

- So that... and you create

either a shunt or a... a fence.

There were different terms

for the different

types of barriers.

- Oh! Sorry.

- It's, like,

1:00 in the morning,

and everyone's having

a great time.

And they pan around the room,

and I'm just like this.

- [laughs]

- I'm just looking at

my script and just...

- Yes.

The equivalent of

the royal flush

was to create

what's called a cradle...

[laughter]

Where you'd create, like,

a semicircular pattern

of darts so the goo would

roll into it and get trapped.

- Yeah!

- But you could also

slow the goo down

and give another player

time to cradle it.

- You realize

it's not a real sport?

- Well, tell that to

the American Goo Federation.

- What I have found

in comedy writing,

particularly,

is that screwing around is

80% of the job

and somehow necessary.

Years and years of my life have

been spent in a writers' room

with us howling, playing with

some stupid prop in the room.

- Yes.

- And when you try and go home

and explain it to your wife,

it doesn't make any sense.

But somehow,

it's part of the process.

- This exchange,

which I will never forget...

- [laughs]

- From your audition.

Surely this will be familiar.

- Yes.

- All right.

- OK, so this is Scarface...

- And the Church...

- Church Lady.

- Scarface and the Church Lady.

- [as Scarface]

Lady, let me tell you.

Let me tell you, lady.

You look like

a big bowl of f*ck.

- [laughing]

- [as Church Lady]

Well, isn't that special?

[normal voice] Perfect.

That's, like, perfect comedy.

[as Lorne]

Uh, the show is over.

We're canceling it

in the middle.

There'll be a TV movie

of the week.

It was...

[laughter]

[jazzy music]

- I am Uberman.

I have superhuman powers.

- Two wild and crazy guys!

- You need a good attorney

in your corner.



- This is impossible.

Uh, can't we just

hire them both?

- No. We've been through this.

We've only got the budget

for one dancer.

- Yeah, but they're both

so great.

I can't decide between them.

- I always forget that

he wrote "Chippendales,"

because that, to me, is one

of my favorite of all time.

[laughter]

[Loverboy's

"Working for the Weekend"]



- That premise came to me

because of the host,

because Swayze.

- Will you come out tonight

Everyone's trying

to get it right

Get it right

- "Chippendales,"

I was 10 feet away

just watching it going,

g*dd*mn, this is good.

And you don't know.

They go, "Chippendales,"

and they go,

OK, next, uh, 30 seconds.

And everyone just runs off,

and you don't even think twice.

You're just running

to the next thing.

You don't know,

I just witnessed history.

- Everybody needs

a second chance, oh

[jazzy music]

- [growls] Fire bad!

[shouting, grunting]

- You crazy b*tch!

I'll k*ll you!

- You're not a man,

you're a joke!

- [screams]

- It's almost unimaginable today

to comprehend a private life

as emotionally charged

as the Lincolns'.

- You're a sick woman, Mary!

[cracking, rumbling]

- the complexities

of modern life and warfare.

- I hate you!

- It's amazing how much

of the tension and struggle

of that show just

is somehow built-in.

It was hard for me.

I think it's hard for anybody

over time to not go,

if only I could have two more

weeks to rehearse this,

and maybe rewrite this stuff,

and try to have

a higher laugh ratio.

I wonder what he thinks

about the built-in degree

of expectation falling short.

- I had been basically miserable

my last couple years doing it.

That was a time

when I should have

taken a year off on my own.

And then I was fired

as producer in...

At the end

of the '94-'95 season.

[tense music]

- At a certain point,

you've done enough work

that you're competing

with yourself,

so it becomes harder and harder.

And you want to stay fresh

and you want to stay original,

and...

And most of all,

you want to stay funny.

So that is just how it works.

[projector whirring]



- You know, I had a lot of...

I thought there were some

productive years there.



Norm, meanwhile,

is calling me like,

hey, hey, hey, Jim,

we gotta do "Update," huh?

[exciting music]

- "Weekend Update"

with Norm MacDonald.

- Thank you.

[cheers and applause]

Thanks.

Thank you.

I'm Norm Macdonald,

and this is the news.

Real estate mogul Donald Trump

announced this week

that after 3 1/2 years

of marriage,

he is seeking a divorce

from wife Marla Maples.

According to Trump,

Maples violated part

of their marriage agreement

when she decided to turn 30.

- Working with Norm was so fun.

That was a very happy period.

- And in music news,

number one on the college

charts this summer

was Better Than Ezra.

And at number two, Ezra.

- Oh, my God, he just

dared people to laugh.

Norm just couldn't care less.

- A French man who calls

himself the Snake Man

was arrested this week

after climbing up the side

of a Manhattan high-rise.

Yep, he climbed right up

the side of a high-rise,

just like a snake.

[laughter]

- The rhythm of them was

something that,

even today,

hasn't been replicated.

- It was all in the writing

and Norm's

committed dry performance,

you know.

- Mm-hmm. Yeah.

- Note to self, uh, find new way

of fraudulently obtaining

food stamps.

[laughter]

- We just believed in the jokes.

When Norm did those jokes,

he couldn't be shaken.

- He has the most unique,

one-of-a-kind kind delivery.

I can imagine how exciting

that would be,

to have Norm Macdonald be

the mouthpiece for your jokes.

- Clinton yesterday announced

that, from now on,

the territory of Bosnia

and Herzegovina

will be referred to as Vietnam.

- Of all the performers

that I've ever worked with,

I actually had the most

perfect simpatico with Norm.

- When you and Norm

found each other,

it was like tuning forks

that were perfectly matched.

- Norm and Jim,

that has to be

Jim's favorite combination

in... in all of show business.

[laughter, applause]

- Can I tell

my favorite Norm joke?

It was, the richest girl

in the world

had her 10-year-old birthday.

- Millionaire Athina Onassis

celebrated her 10th birthday

this week.

- What do you get for

the richest girl in the world?

Well, here's an idea.

- At the party,

they had two cakes.

[rim shot]

[laughter]

- And it's such a good joke.

It doesn't really play,

but a truly great joke

is one that doesn't play

and that I remember

for 30 years.

[light percussive music]



- "Update" Norm is totally

in sync with your values,

which is perfect word choice,

perfect phrasing,

let's get the timing just right.

- When you're telling the joke,

it has to be a really good

version of the joke.

All the important elements are

done in the best possible way.

- The October issue of

"Penthouse," now on newsstands,

contains a picture

billed as, quote,

"the alien, the world's

first authentic photograph."

- The original joke

we started with was...

- A survey of

"Penthouse" readers finds

that 60% think

the photo is a fake,

while only 40% think it's real.

All 100%, however,

found it, quote...

- Quote, "sharp, clear,

and easy to masturbate to."

But we decided that

it would be better...

- All 100%, however, found it,

quote, "surprisingly easy

to masturbate to."

[laughter]

- But then it became

"surprisingly easy

to masturbate to."

Or, quote, "surprisingly easy."

- [laughs]

Elevates it a little bit.

- But that's the kind

of thing where

other people thought

we were kind of insane.

- OJ Simpson is wanted.

He's been charged

in the two murders

that took place Sunday night.

- A lot of people think

they know the story of Norm,

"Update," OJ, NBC.

But I don't think,

necessarily, they do.

- F. Lee Bailey said this week

that if the defense only

knew what Ron Goldman's

last words were,

they might be able

to find the real k*ller.

You know, if you ask me,

Goldman's last words

were probably, uh,

hey, you're OJ Simpson!

[laughter, applause]

- The OJ murders happened...

Still unsolved... uh...

- To this day.

- To this day.

And you and Norm start

doing jokes about

how it's quite clear

that he is the m*rder*r.

- Was OJ Simpson high on speed

the night of the murders?

Absolutely not, said defense

attorney Johnnie Cochran today.

And a simple test

of any of OJ's blood

found at the crime scene

will prove it.

[laughter]

- Hey, Norm, what's up?

It's OJ.

- Oh, OJ!

OJ Simpson's new fitness video

was released this week.

Oh, no! OJ has struck again.

How about that?

It was revealed this week, the

defense lawyer Johnnie Cochran

once abused his first wife.

In his defense, Cochran said,

"Hey, at least I didn't k*ll her

like some people I know."

- That would make them

exponentially funnier.

Just the sheer volume...

- I felt that way.

- Yeah.

- It was usually OJ thought

he was making a great point,

but incriminating himself

instead.

- In a brilliant move

during closing arguments,

Simpson attorney Johnnie Cochran

put on the knit cap prosecutors

say OJ wore the night

he committed the murders,

although OJ may have hurt

his case when he suddenly

blurted out,

hey, hey, easy with that!

That's my lucky stabbin' hat!

[laughter]

- What you come to realize is

that the head of the network,

Don Ohlmeyer,

who's best friends with OJ,

doesn't like these jokes.

- I believe OJ did not do this.

I don't think

the media in this town

believes that

OJ did not do this.

They're trying to portray this

like a football game.

- He didn't like Norm's comedy.

Jim was devoted to Norm.

I loved Norm as well.

It was all like

his personal taste

should be the thing

that decides things.

It wasn't the kind of comedy

he was used to.

And also they were making

a lot of jokes about OJ,

and that's when it started.

- In his book,

OJ Simpson says that

he would have taken a b*llet

or stood in front of a train

for Nicole.

Man, I'm gonna tell you,

that is some bad luck,

when the one guy

who would have died for you

kills you.

[laughter]

- He was respectful.

And it was never

a f*ck-you attitude,

but he was just like,

who's this guy gonna

talk to me about

what's funny and not funny

and what we're allowed to say?

- Like we were not gonna

make jokes about OJ.

- There's a lot of people

in this town,

when he's proved innocent,

who are going to look

at you guys

and the stuff you put on the air

in a totally different way.

They're just not

gonna believe you.

- They joked, and they just

were like, oh,

you want us to lay off

the OJ jokes?

Well, why don't we do more?

- Don Ohlmeyer said to me,

they're not funny.

And I said, no,

they're not funny to you,

but they are funny

to the audience that, uh,

is watching the show.

- The idea that

the head of the network

is supporting

someone who clearly

is a m*rder*r,

and therefore insisting

on the firing of people

based on their jokes

about the m*rder, is unheard of.

- We, the jury in

the above entitled action,

find the defendant,

Orenthal James Simpson,

not guilty

of the crime of m*rder.

- Now the fake news.

Well, it is finally official.

m*rder is legal

in the state of California.

[laughter, applause]

- Don, he was...

You gotta fire Norm and Jim.

And I obviously wasn't

gonna consider that

till the season was over.

He just kept pounding on it.

I said, do not do this.

If you want to make

this decision

at the end of the season,

Norm, maybe he was ready

to leave anyway,

and we'll decide then.

But he overruled me.

It's, I think,

the only time that anybody

actually overruled me.

And he kind of had

the critics on his side.

And so, uh, he did it.

It was a disaster.

It tore us apart.

- The phone rings,

and it's Michael Shoemaker

saying, a couple things.

Chris Farley is dead,

and you and Norm are fired.

[laughs]

Norm was really devastated.

My attitude was, hey,

we got three and a half

fun seasons out of it.

And, like, I'll take

a year off, you know?

- This guy Don Ohlmeyer,

he goes, uh, oh, yeah,

I'm, uh... I'm firing you there

from the show.

And then I said, uh,

oh, that's not good.

You know.

And then I said,

why is that now?

And he goes, uh,

oh, you're not...

You know, you're not funny.

- Yeah.

- And then I said, uh...

I said, holy lord, that's

even worse news, you know?

[laughter]

- When Norm passed away,

just about everybody

did not know

that he was that sick.

People went back and they

started looking at

these mash-ups,

his best "Update" jokes,

and you just saw this

barrage of really great,

fantastic, timeless jokes

delivered perfectly.

And it was just

a great tribute to what

you two guys made together.

- That's all for now, folks.

Good night.

Thanks a lot.

Enjoy.

[cheers and applause]

- It takes a special person

to be able to write something,

spend so much time doing it,

and then give it

to somebody else,

and just not have

that sad desire

to need to get the laugh

yourself.

- I thought Jim was an actor

because I'd seen him

on "Letterman."

- When you know Jim's face,

then you see him

in all those little things

over the years.

[jazzy music]

- Hi, I'm Craig.

I'm thinking of taking

a vacation in Jurassic Park.

I'm gonna go through it

once more.

I'm not the sort of person

who starts a job

and walks away from it.

- Much has been said

about Jeffrey Epstein.

Terrible things have been...

- No, Jeff...

I'm talking about Jeff Epstein,

the New York financier.

[laughter]

- Yes!

We're talking about

the same Jeff Epstein.

- No.

- Yes!

- No.

- Yes!

- Andy, I've been

dating your dad.

- Like, my dad, dad?

- It's gotten

extraordinarily physical.

[cheers and applause]

- Downey commits

a thousand percent,

and they really do go at it.

- Yeah.

[cheers and applause]

- If it were up to me,

we'd be putting up drywall

on your vag*na building today.

- Well, I appreciate that, Jim.

I really do.

- But in the current climate...

- Downey's so present.

In "Billy Madison,"

I recognized him

from "Change Bank."

- We wanted Jim

to be the principal

and called him up, and he said,

yeah, yeah, what about this?

And he wrote the most

quoted thing from that movie.

- Mr. Madison,

what you've just said

is one of the most

insanely idiotic things

I have ever heard.

At no point in your rambling,

incoherent response

were you even close

to anything that could be

considered a rational thought.

Everyone in this room

is now dumber

for having listened to it.

I award you no points...

- [laughs]

- And may God have mercy

on your soul.

- Yeah, man.

I mean, I think Downey said that

to me and Farley

several times in real life.

[funky music]

- You also were in

a Paul Thomas Anderson movie

as well.

People forget about that.

- He just had this notion

that I was

the perfect guy

to play that part.

So I go, oh, OK.

- "There Will Be Blood" is

one of my favorite movies

of that decade,

and Jim was in it.

- Can everything

around here be got?

- Sure.

- He really is,

as a sketch performer,

a really good actor.

- We will take our clients'

money and invest it.

Part of the profit,

we'll keep for ourselves.

The rest,

we will give to the client.

We will make a list

of our clients

and how much money each of

them has given us to invest.

We will keep this list

in a safe place.

If we have time,

we will make a copy of the list

in case something happens

to the first list.

- At "Saturday Night Live,"

the writers have a lot of power.

- I want a piece of you, Potter!

Why, I oughta pound you!

[shouting]

- The shape of the kind of

things that you do at "SNL,"

the degree of control

you can have...

- Is there a particular moment

when you said to yourself,

it's just...

It's just not my night?

- Probably when the mountain

lion urinated on me.

- I know I would never

find anywhere else.

[jazzy music]

I'd been away from the show

for a couple years,

and then Don Ohlmeyer left

the network.

It seemed like a few minutes

after he left,

Lorne's like, he's gone, right?

It's official?

Then he called me and said, hey,

I'd like you to come back

to the show.

I remembered

my friends telling me,

if you go back to the show

after being fired twice,

we'll lose all respect for you.

- I did not say that.

- Lawrence did not say that.

- Yeah.

- Lorne made it very clear that

he wanted me to be a specialist.

- Good evening.

This is the CBS Evening

Anthrax Update,

Dan Rather reporting.

All right, this just in.

CBS News now confirming

that I have anthrax.

Now, to sum up where we stand

at the moment,

Rather, anthrax.

Blitzer, anthrax,

attacked by a squirrel.

- Politics wasn't

always considered,

like, a hot property.

- Where have you been?

- Certainly not

in the early years.

- Ah, guten Tag.

[speaking German]

- Each decade sort of kicked up

to where more and more

people were actually

interested in political comedy.

- I don't run around saying,

Bob Dole does this

and Bob Dole does that.

That's not something

Bob Dole does.

- Jim was like the king

in the cold open world.

- Stay on the track.

Stay the course.

Thousand points of light.

[laughter]

- Governor Dukakis, rebuttal?

- I can't believe

I'm losing to this guy.

[laughter]

- Jim prided himself on

that he was

an impartial, uh, satirist.

- We did not feel

it was our job to have

a political point of view.

- There's no one I like.

I'm looking to make fun

of anything

that comes down the pike.

- This film, "Independence Day,"

tells the story of a young,

idealistic,

compassionate president

who's facing a crisis.

Frustrated in his personal life

and unable to realize his

vision for the country

due to a hostile Congress.

But suddenly,

everything turns around

and he's able to achieve

true greatness

when aliens invade Earth

and a helicopter crash

kills his wife.

I love this movie.

- He kept me honest sometimes.

Sometimes I'd have an idea

that was a little

too undermined by sort of

how partisan it was

or something.

- I want to be around

for a long time,

on the job,

making the tough decisions,

24/7.

That's 24 hours a week...

[laughter]

Seven months a year.

- In the first five years

of the show,

I bet we opened

with a political piece

maybe two or three times a year.

- It became more urgent in 2000.

These campaigns were

vulnerable to the swing voter.

They were trying

to get their hands on,

who is this guy, Gore?

Who is this guy, Bush?

[applause]

Those performances,

and what you gave the actors

to do with those characters,

gave people a handle

on those characters

that they didn't have

before that night.

- I remember looking

at the script,

and I said, is that

as good as I think it is?

- Governor Bush,

you said the following.

Quote, "More seldom than not,

the movies

"gives us exquisite sex

and wholesome violence

"that underscores our values.

"Every two child did.

I will."

End quote.

[laughter]

What did you mean by that?

[laughter]

- [clears throat] Pass.

[laughter, applause]

- I'm just silently just

screaming with joy in my head,

oh, my God, he's...

He's literally

schooling the entire show on

how to write political comedy.

- Now, under my plan,

Etta's prescription drugs

would be covered.

Under my opponent's plan,

her house would be burned

to the ground,

and that is wrong.

- I believe that some of his

figures may be "in-ack-urate."

[laughter]

- We are almost out of time,

so I will instead

ask each candidate

to sum up in a single word

the best argument

for his candidacy.

Governor Bush?

- Strategery.

[laughter]

- The whole country was

saying strategery.

- The word strategery.

- It's become part

of the lexicon.

- As "The New York Times" put

it, the national consciousness.

- You know, I've always been

a big fan

of "Saturday Night Live."

- Clearly,

the candidates have taken

their appearances on

the late-night show seriously.

- Although I'm a big fan,

I have seen

some things on the show

I thought were,

in a word, offensible.

- The most important political

writing of this election year.

- Jim, your reaction?

- Well, I'd like to hear more

from Lawrence in that vein.

I thought he was

on to something.

- And the thing you have to

know about the undecided voter

is that they don't consume

any information

from the political media.

- If they had,

they wouldn't be undecided...

- They do catch

things like this.

- We are America's

undecided voters.

Before you get our vote,

you're gonna have to answer

some questions.

- When is the election?

How soon do we have to decide?

- What are the names

of the two people running?

And be specific.

- Who is the president

right now?

Is he or she running?

- What happens

if the president dies?

Has anyone thought about

who would replace him?

What's your plan, gentlemen?

- Somehow,

that set this pattern,

so that, ever since then,

whenever there's

an election year,

there's this sort of

expectation...

Well, we have to have

debate pieces.

- So don't be telling me

that I'm part

of the Washington elite

because I come from

the absolute worst place

on Earth,

Scranton, Pennsylvania.

And Wilmington, Delaware's

not much better.

- Governor Palin.

- Oh, are we not doing

the talent portion?

[laughter, applause]

- And it was becoming

this gigantic part.

- We'll work on you.

It's gonna take time.

[chuckles]

Maybe for four more years.

- Our politics has never

calmed down since 2000.

"SNL" became absolutely

mandatory in American politics

and is to this day.

[microphone feedback, applause]

[jazzy music]

- Your Honor, I'd like to say

something if I could, please.

- Excuse me, are you

a relative of the plaintiff?

- I am her mother.

[laughter]

- And what is your occupation?

- I am a barfly.

[laughter]

- I'm a barfly.

- I am a barfly.

- I am a barfly.

- And by that you mean

you loiter in bars

waiting for men you don't know

to buy you drinks?

- That is correct, Your Honor.

[laughter]

- Just hours ago,

it was made apparent to me

that I am not, as I have

long believed myself to be,

a licensed bikini inspector.

[laughter]

As experts have shown,

the official

bikini inspector license

upon which I base

this assertion is a forgery.

And indeed, no such

medical specialty exists.

To the hundreds

and hundreds of women

I may have wronged, albeit

with the best of intentions,

I can now only offer

my most sincere

and heartfelt apologies.

- This is a sidewalk costume.

- A sidewalk costume?

- Yeah. I mean, you know,

we don't recommend it

for blind kids.

I mean, you know, there's

a warning right on the label.

"Invisible Pedestrian,

not for blind kids."

[laughter]

- Did Bob Dole grow up in Canada

in a small farm town?

Didn't have the prep school

education

or the sterling silverware,

or the bumper pool table

in the basement.

Didn't have the shower massage,

the five-way adjustable head.

- The deficit, like

many of our problems,

will ultimately be solved

if we can legalize

and federally fund

female circumcisions.

- Larry, please, let's hit

the fast-forward button,

because we've heard this before.

See, now, folks,

we'd all like better schools,

less crime,

and female circumcision, right?

There's nothing better

in the world

than female circumcision.

But where is the money

gonna come from?

- I think you'll

really like Stu.

He's absolutely

the most sincere,

genuine, straightforward person

you'll ever want to meet.

A real honest guy.

- Mm.

- What a jerk he is.

- Listen, we'll...

We'll talk quietly

so as not to disturb you, OK?

- Oh, you won't disturb me.

I'll be in my room masturbating.

They won't disturb me.

I'll be masturbating.

- Live long...

[laughter]

And be happy.

[laughter, applause]

- This guy here

is the best writer

that I ever worked with

at "Saturday Night Live."

He's my friend.

And if anybody messes with him,

they're messing with me.

And they're messing, um,

with the local union here,

which I have, uh,

talked to about anything

that might happen here tonight.

[cacophonous piano melody]



Jaws

- Jaws, get away from me

- Get away from me

Jaws

- They had been fooling around

with this "Jaws" theme

since, like, 19...

Since the movie came out.

- It was just their running

bit, you know, for years.

- You took and you made me

You made me

Made me part of you

- Made me a part of you

- I remember

Maya in my hotel room,

and Downey on the phone

singing that,

and you and I are both

frantically writing.

And I'm up in the music thing

with Paul Shaffer.

I think Bill's gonna come.

We don't know.

And then here comes Bill in a...

Literally in a Hawaiian shirt

or whatever.

And then we were on... on TV.

- By the way, we seem like

we're playing it cool.

But, like, these are the guys

we had boners for.

- You b*stard, Jaws!

[cheers and applause]

- I have to believe

it's some kind of record

for the longest time

between the original idea

and the execution,

which would be 40 years,

just about.

[soft music]

- Jim is a brilliant artist,

and he's working

in this amazing medium

called sketch comedy,

and he's really defined it.

- He could get a laugh from

the intro before the cold open.

- A panel think tank nerds

excitedly discusses

some topic no one else

cares about, followed by

long, incoherent questions

from even nerdier members

of the audience.

- Like, those little,

like, jokes,

that is not easy to do.

Shout out to Jim Downey, man.

[laughter, applause]

- As a person who loves the show

with my whole heart,

I want people to understand

who he is.

He's so much

a fabric of the show.

- Es Senor Eliot Ness!

- You know, we would say

when we'd write our movies...

This is f*cking 10 years

after we left the show...

We'd be like...

[inhales sharply]

I think Downey would like that.

That's how f*cking insane

we are with Downey.

Oh, yeah, all right.

[speaking gibberish]

[laughter]

[speaking gibberish]



- I think comedy writers

in general,

for whatever reason,

they feel like the world is

a bit of a swindle and a lie,

and they want to point that out

and laugh at it.

Jim was so wonderful

at making comedy

out of the way

people relate to each other.



The way they misunderstand

each other,

talk to each other,

conversational failings,

the depth it can go to

in revealing human behavior

is as deep as people can go.

Plus the two

with Dave Letterman.

I mean, I had three

or four separate careers

within "Saturday Night Live"

alone.

Along the way,

I became a father,

and just last February, on the

eve of the 50th anniversary,

a grandfather.

I met the love of my life

at this show.

That's how wired I am

to this place.

When I started here,

I was the youngest person

on the writing staff.

And when I left,

much the oldest.

It's cool that, you know,

I was able to do it

as long as I did,

working with some of the

funniest people on the planet

and still make a contribution.

But at a certain point, you've

proved what you need to prove,

and it's time

to quietly step aside,

and slip out the back way

unnoticed...

The Irish goodbye.

- Live from New York,

it's Saturday night!

- Ex-Lampooner Jim Downey

not only wrote for

"Saturday Night Live"

longer than anybody else,

he also created

this perennial list

read by David Letterman.

- What is the Top 10 List?

- I'm pretty sure, with respect,

if there was some news

about Jeff Epstein,

I would have heard.

- I have to tell you, he's gone.

He's dead.

- What do you mean?

- He's dead.

- He's dead?

- He's dead.

- No.

[laughs] Sorry, nice try.